24: Surviving Single Mom Burnout & the End-of-School-Year Chaos

 “Can we talk about how everybody is celebrating the last day of school except the moms who are trying to figure out who’s watching these kids all summer?”

 “Listen… graduation ceremonies, field days, summer camps, vacation planning, work schedules, grocery bills, and somehow we’re supposed to show up refreshed and smiling? Sis, if you’re tired, this episode is for you.”

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Single Mom Honey, the podcast dedicated to single moms with a focus on health, money, and everything in between. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

I'm Claylin. I cover the health. And together, we cover everything in between.

SPEAKER_01 0:13

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 0:15

You know what? Listen, I'm working on that hook line there because I feel like it's gonna be great one day.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

I see the vision. I do. Okay. You should be But the vision is what matters.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

You are so right. Well, first of all, don't smile at me like that. I can see you being visible, man.

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Girl, I gotta put a background up because. Can you see yourself? Well, I can't. I can't see more.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Look. Lucky.

unknown 0:38

Lucky.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

Lucky. I need to be in this light. Not with you. No, I gotta put a background in because my kids have been home for summer break and they done towed my house up. Listen, I had tour. My house that they tote my house up.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

I had to find a clean spot. So I'm like, all you can see behind me right now is couch.

SPEAKER_01 1:01

Well, at least you got a couch that ain't covered with laundry right now because mine definitely is.

SPEAKER_02 1:05

Okay, so so so. This part is not.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

The part I'm in front of is not.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

The part that's like the camera any other way. You'll be like, oh, it's a living room. You live in that room. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. So today we're going to be talking about Mama, we made it.

SPEAKER_00 1:26

Mama.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

We survived.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

Made it.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Yes. So this is a surviving single mom burnout and end-of-school year chaos.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Most people, myself, my children, have been out of school for almost two and a half weeks. But your kids just got out right last week quite?

SPEAKER_02 1:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

On June 11. Well, actually, yeah, June 11th was the last day.

SPEAKER_01 1:50

It was the last day. Okay, my kids have been out since May. So you'll be in my spot soon enough.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

First of all, I've been in your spot. This is for quite a while. I just had someone graduate, my oldest from high school. Yeah, congratulations.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Yes to the graduating class of 2026. 2026. Y'all doing it. Okay, so that's one less kit off your list when it comes to middle school and your chaos.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

Well, I'm gonna tell you this. I thought so. Like I got so excited. Like people were coming to me, like, did you cry? Are you gonna cry? And I'm sitting here thinking, like, what am I supposed to cry about? Like, I was gonna cry if she didn't graduate, you know. But I knew she was graduating, her grades are great. Um, I don't even know if it hit me yet, because May just had so much going on. Right. And it was graduation, it was prom. It was also right at the beginning of June. My son graduated from fifth grade. He's going to middle school now.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Um his birthday?

SPEAKER_02 2:51

Yeah. Oh yeah, his birthday. Listen, he wanted to go to a fancy dinner. I got food poisoning. I was coming out of both ends the same night. Wow. Listen, I had the marathon earlier in the month, half marathon, only half crazy. Um, and then what else? I had the musical. Yeah. It was just so much.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Like four days.

SPEAKER_02 3:11

Yeah, it was so much that I haven't really had a chance to process.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

I think you'll process it when you drop her off of her dorm room in August. Like when you are taking her to her dorm room, she has her key around her neck or her little card or whatever they got nowadays. They probably don't use keys anymore. They probably got codes to get into your dorm room. But you know, like that's when it will hit you when you gotta leave, like, oh, you're not coming with me. Well, bye, adult. You know, that's probably what's gonna hit you that drive home.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Like so you know what? But I think it is time for her to grow and venture out.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Yeah, and then you got two other ones. So it's like not like you're just your only child.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

In all honesty, I think God prepared me last year when she pulled a fast one on me last year. I thought I was gonna go see the Lord early or be on Dateline NBC, or, you know, snapped one of them, you know. Um, I am just really excited she's at a point that she is able to uh, you know, go to college. She got a lot of scholarships, all of that.

SPEAKER_01 4:14

We love the money. We love the money.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

I really haven't had time to like get sad because even if she's on campus, I gotta pay for tuition. So like the idea of burnout is real for me. Like, what was really happening for me, I just like was seeing dollar signs again, like, oh god, more bills on me, but I have no choice but to work harder and smarter. I gotta get it together and make sure because I don't want her to have debt like I do. Like, you know?

SPEAKER_01 4:42

Yeah, but we're gonna talk about in another episode how a single mom can prepare themselves for their children's venturing off into college or whatever their plans may be after high school. So today we're gonna be talking about what you could do after the last day of school. Maybe not the last day of high school, but the last day of school for your kids. And I seem like it seems like everybody's so excited. Like, when you go to pick up your kid on the last day of school, do you notice how big the smiles are on the teachers and the principals' faces?

SPEAKER_02 5:09

Yes, because they listen, I respect the teachers for real, for real. I don't like them all, but I respect them for dealing with the kids all day.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

Because all day, every day. They'd be so happy that last day of school. They'd be like, all right, bye. So yeah, slamming that door, get up next one, nuts, and that picket line be like, dang, bye, miss law. You're a problem now. You're that's what it seems like they're saying to you.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

No, I don't I know. Like, I don't know. When the kids come home and they're all together, it's like they get in this competition to get my attention. Yeah and I'm not I don't want to play the game. And I tell them this. Yeah, I it's annoying after a while. Huh?

SPEAKER_01 5:50

It's annoying after a while.

SPEAKER_02 5:52

Yeah, especially after 18 years of the same game. I don't want to play. I already know what this is. But you know what? Listen. Graduation ceremonies, we got those. Check, check. You had a graduation too, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Yeah, my baby graduated from pre-K. He's going to be in the call.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Field days, summer camps. I signed my son up for soccer summer camp. He's about to go to Bible soccer camp. Oh shoot, it's not Bible soccer camp. It's Bible, I don't know, it's church camp. My son. Maybe. And my sister signed up her kids. And then Carter got on the phone and he was like, I mean, I guess I'll go if my mom wants me to learn more about the Bible. And I was just like, wow. I mean, vacation planning. I'm trying to plan, trying to, you know, you gotta make ends meet and still have room for vacation. Um you don't have to be scheduled.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Well, the pressures of having a vacation, we cannot allow that to make us feel less than if we can't provide it for our children. You could only do what you can do.

SPEAKER_02 6:55

You're right, you're right. And then anyway, with all of that said and done, you're still supposed to be refreshed and show up smelling for everything.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

I just thought your water vitamin.

SPEAKER_02 7:05

Oh, yeah, ginger water and workout. And I got I got on a scale today and I was like, oh, my muscles is getting big. I don't know which one. It gotta be muscle, cause I don't know. But anyway, you know, if you're tired and burnt out, this episode is for you. But I want you to congratulate yourself for making it through the school year.

SPEAKER_03 7:26

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 7:26

Now I will say this does not mean you still won't have to get up early, but you might get to sleep in just a tid bit later. At least I thought so.

SPEAKER_01 7:33

My kids wake up earlier on the weekend and during the summer than they do during the school year. They could go to bed earlier during the school year because I enforced a bedtime then. But during the summer break, no, they do not go to I don't I don't push uh a bedtime unless I know we have stuff planned for that week. I'll push a bedtime. But for the most part, girl I'll be asleep before them. But then Me too. I'm thinking.

SPEAKER_02 7:57

They do survive, just in case people were wondering.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Yeah, but I don't know. I do kind of feel a pressure to keep them on a schedule. I've been doing that their whole life. I've been doing a newborn schedule, the toddler schedule. Uh oh, like some people have told me, my mother, some people, that I need to keep them on a bedtime regimen, even though our summer shlight, it'll make it easier for you. But I kind of do enjoy having those mornings to myself and them, you know, especially when they're gonna be home all day long while working.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

When they stay up late, they sleep in later. Not mine! That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

They don't. They don't. Some they'll put probably sleep in 15 minutes later than what they normally do, but they don't sleep in for hours. Sometimes that baby does. But then when he wakes up, y'all been up without me? That's the remote controller. Like to live here. This is my house. Uh like it's just yeah, it's a lot. So let's do the end of school year survival check in to all our listeners here. So, first of all, let's look at how are you feeling? I'm gonna ask you quite how are you feeling right now for give out the end of the school year? Summer is here, boom.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

I'm a little relieved. I feel like you should have the school year and then the summer year.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_02 9:10

When I say that, what do I mean? Like, I don't think two and a half months off of school is enough. Like, now when they were younger, I they could have stayed in school all year. But and this is me being selfish. I absolutely hate getting up to have to get them up for school.

SPEAKER_03 9:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

Like, it never fails. For some reason, I thought that after I graduated from school, that I didn't have to wake up early anymore. But nobody really tells you these things. Nobody tells you these things when you have kids. That your parents woke you up, so why wouldn't you have to wake yours up? You blocked these things out of your mind.

SPEAKER_03 9:43

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Okay? I did. And every morning that I have to wake them up, I I get in a fight with myself in this bed. Like, I don't gotta go to school today. I don't have to go to school. But then I'm like, I got things I gotta do. You know? But I do want I need that extra bit of sleep. I'm trying not to, you know, age. I want to age gracefully.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:03

And I need to sleep in a little bit. So I'm feeling a little bit relieved that like in the mornings I don't have to, if they all miss the bus, transport three kids to three different schools and make it back to work on time. Okay? Yeah. That's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 10:15

That's all crazy.

SPEAKER_02 10:16

Yeah, but that has been my life. So when I say my daughter's going to college now, like I'm excited for her to go to college, but I'm also excited to have potentially one school drop-off for the next year at least. Because they'll both be in middle school together. It's been a long time since I had two kids in one school. Like I could do one drop-off and come back. And they are in one direction, not three different directions. Like it was going back this way, all yeah, that way, and then pew that way. And then there was just no way to do it. Like I just had to do it.

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Whether I was like, was emotional exhaustion being on all year. Yes. Or it felt like all year long. Like you said, two and a half months is not a long time.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

I need I need recovery. When it's a when they hit back to school sales, that PTSD kicks in for me.

SPEAKER_01 11:09

I'd be like, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

Oh my god, it's time again. You know?

SPEAKER_01 11:13

Well, thankfully, my kids' school, they provide all their school supplies. They received grants from donations. I don't have to worry about any of those things. Well, I don't know about that rest of America. My son's kindergarten year, I did have to provide everything, but for the last three, two years they've gotten grants. So I go capacity like, hmm, I ain't gonna look at that. But I would have to say another thing when it comes to the end of school year survival check-in is how you express how you feel. Um, that emotional exhaustion for being on all year long. Yes. Um, graduation season. We just went over that. You dealt with two graduations within days of each other and then meet major life transitions, which is going along with your eldest daughter, where she's going to be going off to college and living on her own for the first time in her life.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

Like crazy. The craziest part is you seen her when she got here. She doesn't know.

SPEAKER_01 12:02

That's what I'm saying. Like, how?

SPEAKER_02 12:04

How did this happen so fast? When they say it's in the blink of an eye, that is real. That's the realest thing they ever read.

SPEAKER_01 12:11

Because you experienced it. Your fast is totally different. And my fast is totally different. Your fast.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

Yes, because I look back at pictures. Like, I remember just having her as a baby and breastfeeding her. To now she be just catching the bus places, calling me from places or not calling. Like, I I used to like know every moment of her life, and then now it's like I am secondary. What?

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Get excited about that, that now she's gonna be able to do it.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

I'm excited that she is has grown and she has graduated and she is doing well for herself. You know, I'm excited about the growth. I mean, I expected that it just went faster than I expected. I remember sitting at that preschool graduation and was like, class of 2026. That was in 2013. And then today is 2026. That's wild to me.

SPEAKER_01 13:00

Yeah. Well, also, you've mentioned this already as well, part of the survival check-in, financial stress of summer child care. So your financial stress is more so thinking about how you're gonna pay for college coming up at the end of the summer. My financial stress was trying to figure out what I was gonna do for my children since I could not afford to send them to summer camp because you know, I don't receive any support from their father.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

So that's just that's the same thing here. So, like what I try to do, I try to find things that don't cost too much. Like, for example, Bible study camp, it doesn't cost that much. It might be like $40 for the whole week and they provide lunch and it's like in a few days. I've just have chosen not to. Like, there's other summer camps that they get for like weeks. Those are things I can't afford right now because I'm also in the midst of planning a graduation party. So, like, you know, I just uh there's a soccer camp I'm sending them to, but it you know, I I do what was in my budget. My middle daughter, I used to try to make everybody go to camp because I felt like I needed to do those things, but no. Um, she wants to make money this summer. She'll be my personal assistant. I got I need lots of help if she can learn the tricks of the trade. Because mom's a hustler. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Always has been, always. So also balancing work and parenting. That's what I have been going through for the last two and a half weeks since my kids come with me while I work full-time from home. It's tough.

SPEAKER_02 14:22

Because when the kids are home, they feel like they have full access to you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

And I can be in the middle of something. I can be in a meeting presenting. Hey, can you can you open up this cheese? Hi. Can I get a juice too?

SPEAKER_01 14:36

Like Yes, I told you to stay downstairs. Well, I who own my tea? You know, like, yeah. So and then also I feel like I have been dealing with the invisible mental load that we always deal with as a single mom. Yes. But it it feels I feel like it's compounded during the summertime because it is. You won't have that break, I guess you could say, when they're away from school to prepare for.

SPEAKER_02 15:01

Yes. It's like you're constantly on, but in a different way.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:06

You don't have the school pressure, but you got the other pressure, like, hey, I'm working all the time, but I gotta figure out how to be a parent too, and it's just me and there's no one to fall back on. Like, it's a lot.

SPEAKER_01 15:18

And then not only that, when you get off of work, your other job starts automatically. Before you have that little drive to go pick up from school or pick up from aftercare to just decompress, listen to a podcast, listen to music, just have that, you are instantly back into the next job that you've never really clocked out of because they've been here all day with you. So you know, um yes, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 15:42

I realized the other day, so you know, I've experienced as a single mom, also working while black has been a lot for me.

SPEAKER_04 15:51

Um you don't say.

SPEAKER_02 15:53

Yeah. Um, and then, you know, on top of that, I used to get PTSD from the ding from an email, right? Yeah, that's wild. Because like, I don't know if you've ever felt that before. Because if someone is like, huh?

SPEAKER_01 16:07

You said you have. Haunted and haunted.

SPEAKER_02 16:12

Haunted. Haunted and haunted. Absolutely. Um, and it may not even be anything, but it's just from things that I have experienced. I realized the other day, like, oh girl, you better take your Prozac. Like, you know, you better, you better take the medication that actually helps you with your anxiety. Because that stress that you had on your body before did physical damage. I really think that's how I ended up with AFib. You know, that invisible mental load, it it bears down on you. Like, I felt myself um over the last couple nights, like, I think it's just like, like I said, I haven't really had time to process the graduation ceremonies, all those things, like um, because I've just been running, but my jaws have been clenched. I woke up one morning and my teeth were hurting. I said, What the fuck is happening? And then I realized that I be like biting real tight, but like unconsciously. So I've been, you know, conscious of it now. But like it's just the invisible mental load has a physical impact. So you just gotta be really cognizant of what's going on with your mind and your body.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Sometimes that's hard though. But we would like to hear from our listeners. Can you write to us and let us know what's one thing nobody told you about summer breaks as a single mom? Like have if you got a down pack, then you got a certain system and you listened to our past episode of DIY, work from home, summer camp with mommy, then go ahead and let us know what you picked up from that episode that has helped you so far, or what you have already been doing that could be helpful to add to the list. You can send us an email, single momhoney at gmail.com, or you go ahead and send us a DM on our socials at Single Mom Honey Official on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, as well as subscribe and follow us on YouTube. So let's talk about burnout. We know first of all, burnout isn't a weakness, but quite let us know what burnout may be. What's the sign?

SPEAKER_02 18:03

No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no, you know, health-related illnesses and you know, yeah, don't drink too much. That could be a sign of burnout, but having a glass of wine actually could be relaxing. But if you're feeling constantly fatigued, um, feeling emotionally numb, just fearing feeling irritable all the time, or overstimulated all the time. I definitely get overstimulated. Like, whoo! Um, you're having trouble sleeping, forgetfulness, feeling like you're failing even when you're succeeding, being so hard on yourself. Like, yeah, those are all signs of burnout.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

I feel like that sometimes. Like, everyone, you're such a great mama, you're doing such a great job. I'm like, I don't fuck I'm doing. I I'm just surviving, and I don't feel like anything I'm doing is gelling together that's gonna make a solid foundation and stability for the people.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Like, yeah, I I think you forget that just you being there makes that solid foundation. Just you being consistent makes that solid foundation. And I want you to also remember that there is no study guide, book, or exam that prepares you for a single motherhood. We weren't intended to do these things alone. But when we do, we do them. We do everything we do good, you know. So to the best of your ability. I mean, honestly, the forgetfulness part, I experienced that a lot. I call it mom brain. Mom brain. You have a whole lot of things on the table, right? And you can see them all, but you also see there's no more space. And if you put one more thing on that table, something falls off. That's what happens in my mind. And then I gotta go searching for it. It'll come back, but it's like it fell off the table. It's not in front of my mind.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

I don't go searching for it. I'll be like, Welp. It's got it. Move on. My kid's like, mommy, remember, you told me you'll do that. Oh shit, you're right. All right. Um, your uh show and tell is this iron. Show them how people used to get out of wrinkles. Thankfully, I'm not that bad, but um I can see it in my future.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Your future is bright. Your future is really bright as playing the invisible mom right now.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Cause You don't know where I'm coming from. I'm always watching.

SPEAKER_02 20:19

All right. So when we talk about constant fatigue, constant stress, remember, stress impacts your blood pressure. Stress impacts your heart rate. Stress impacts your cortisol levels.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

You know, that's where I feel like all my stress goes to cortisol. Because my stomach is big as shit, and I lose weight everywhere else but there. But stress does not mess with my blood pressure. I have perfect blood pressure. Even when I was almost 400 pounds in my pregnancy, I have perfect blood pressure. They was like, we just knew you're gonna be pre pre-eclamptic. Is it clamptic? Pre-clampia? Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Pre-eclampsia or pre-eclampsia.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

Damn, I fucked that up. But look, they just knew I was gonna have that shit. Them the sugar and all that stuff when I was pregnant. And I less younger, though.

SPEAKER_02 21:07

You still have to be healthy. Just because you didn't have it then when you were younger and your body can regulate all of that, doesn't mean it can't help.

SPEAKER_01 21:12

I wasn't that much younger than I am right now when I had kids. You ever remember? Okay, but your body changes.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

So we were. I know that.

SPEAKER_01 21:17

I'm just saying my blood pressure is perfect. I just went to the doctor yesterday. All right. My blood pressure was 122 over 74. All right.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

I'm just saying.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

Because I'm a bad, I'm a bad blood pressure bitch.

SPEAKER_03 21:28

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 21:34

Look at you. And she know magic. And she knows magic.

SPEAKER_01 21:40

So mine be going to cortisol all the time. That's where my stress be going because I used to have a sick peg when I got a kid.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Constant stress causes anxiety and depression in mothers, and that could impact everything. Your work life balance, how you raise your kids, how you take care of yourself, how your House, house looks, how you know it it impacts everything. If you're nervous all the time or depressed all the time, you don't feel like doing much of anything and you're yeah, that can take you over. And honestly, you know, like I was saying before, sleep, your sleep hygiene is so important. You know, if you are stressed and getting no sleep, that is a recipe for disaster. And the big belly, yes.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

And other elbits, yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:27

Listen, burnout is never because you're doing too little, it's often because you're carrying way too much. And we are. Yeah. We are because that's the nature of the business as a single mom.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Yeah. Well, the nature of the business as a single mom is guess what, bitch? Summer is here!

SPEAKER_03 22:44

Ha ha ha!

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Now what? I'm joking. I'm joking, I'm not calling you guys bitches unless you are one. But if you are here with us, listen to single mom honey, then obviously you're not a bitch. Unless you think you're like a cool bitch, bad bitch, happy bitch. Anyways, I should have ate some dinner before I recorded this and decided to drink some wine. But here are some summer survival strategies. Okay. Let me hear them. Lower the standard. Because Quay be tell me all the time. Girl, stop. You dare. That's enough. You present. That's enough. You provide. That's enough. Give yourself some grace. You ain't gotta be the Pinterest ready mom. Uh-uh. You ain't gotta be uh, what do they call mom influencer, mafluencer? Oh, definitely ain't that. I don't know, they be trying to put words together and shit and all that. You know, not everyday needs crafts, Pinterest projects, and then also family outings. Look, some days my kids be in the house all day long and they be like, happy. Cause we play games together, we play board games together, we read together, we color together, and then I pass out.

SPEAKER_00 23:51

That's the day. And it's okay to just chill. Yeah. You ain't gotta be going all the time. Like my kids wake up in the morning and say, What are we doing today?

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Who was that lady off of um the school? I know you were about to ask me about a movie or a school bus.

SPEAKER_00 24:06

Who's the teacher off of the Miss Frizzle Radge? Miss Frizzle. I ain't Miss Frizzle. Every day my kids ask me, like, what are we doing today? I'm like, you think I'm Miss Frizzle from the American school bus?

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Well, I don't, we ain't got nothing to do today. We're gonna have a chill day. We're gonna just go outside. Y'all can play. I have gotten to the point where I'm comfortable with my kids playing outside and I don't have to be out there the whole time they're there.

SPEAKER_03 24:29

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

That just started. Just started. My kids are four, soon to be five and eight. And I've always had to be, you know, have them in my sights. But I have this huge fenced in yard that they're able to play in that. I feel a lot more secure and a lot more secure than being out there by themselves. And not only that, I have security cameras up there as well. So I can check the security camera. So if I'm in a meeting, I can check the security camera to make sure they're there and they're there by themselves doing what they said they were going to be doing. So that makes them feel a lot better. So create a loose routine. That's what I've been doing.

SPEAKER_00 25:00

It's called survival, baby. Absolutely. It's called survival, baby.

SPEAKER_01 25:04

That's what I've been doing. Okay. Look, we ain't got no schedule. Our morning routines start when we what? Wake up. When we wake up, do we have a routine every day? No, maybe every other day. Maybe every other other day. We just be surviving up in this thing. Because mama still gotta work just because you are home. Um, I need to work better on making them do their chores. I kind of feel like I'm the problem or the drama because my kids come up to me and say, Are we doing chores today? And I'm like, I got 50 million other things to think about. Like, uh, hold on, give me a second. And I never bring it back up. And they'd be like, You haven't access to do our chores. And I'm like, right, I gotta ask you to do your chores. You know what's your chores? You know what I gotta do? Before you're like, I can't read. I'm like, you're right. You can't read that letters on the wall, huh?

SPEAKER_02 25:48

Okay, well, that'll all change. Cause I feel like now my kids want to make extra spending money.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

So And that's what I give the money. I just forget to tell them to do your chores.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

Oh yeah, you you the problem.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Yeah. Am I the drama? Cardi B.

SPEAKER_02 26:05

Alright, so creating a loose routine, family time, free time, outside time, reading time. You know, whatever your kids are into time, listen. It's very important to give kids responsibilities over the summer. Everything can't be on you. You still gotta work, you still got things to do. And remember, it's okay as a single mom to be outside during the summer. So you mean outside? Outside, I'll say.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Like what?

SPEAKER_02 26:29

Like I mean, you got adulting to do, but you got to adult responsibly. And if you are a single mom and you're gonna be outside, make sure you're gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

I already feel like you're gonna adult responsibly. You're responsible every single day. I felt like you're already going to adult responsibly as a single mom, even during the summer.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Yeah, but I'm talking about outside, like outside, like being hot outside, like or whatever you want to. I just feel like to do so, like you should probably be on prep, or you know, I'm talking about that type of be outside.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Yeah, okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:03

I mean, that's a stress reliever, nice margarita, with a side of D, you know. But again, let's think about giving our kids responsibilities while they're home, especially they gotta learn life skills anyway. So morning chores or folding laundry, emptying the trash, helping to cook. Because what if you're in a meeting and you need them to be able to make their own food? Something simple, um, organize their rooms. Yeah, remember we are raging, I said raging. We are raising. We are raging. We are raising future adults, adults, you know, so it's very important that we give them the life skills. And it's, you know, a lot of times during a school year, you don't have that time to go through all those because you got all these routines, but uh the summertime gives you an opportunity to make sure that boom, hey, I got this.

SPEAKER_01 27:55

So I know you mentioned, you know, being outside.

SPEAKER_02 27:58

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 27:59

I feel like I definitely started that already this summer by going to a cool all-white party. But I'm excited for us to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 28:07

By the way, yes, you look beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

Oh, thank you. You too. I'm excited for us to have some single mom honey time this summer as well.

SPEAKER_03 28:16

I'm excited.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Um, we definitely want to make sure that you don't wait until you're exhausted to put yourself first. Because guess what? You're gonna be tired, you ain't gonna do it right. Exactly. Plan it, prep for it, and play it perfectly while you're in there. Because when you got the time, you got the time. One thing I would say about this party that I went to recently, there was a young woman. Well, she's not young, she's like five years, six years journey. That's a young woman in my mind.

SPEAKER_00 28:41

Oh my god, I'm now old. Anyways, she what?

SPEAKER_01 28:46

But she had a baby, she has an eight-month-old baby. She was on that dance floor all night long. She was like, I don't know, the next time I'm gonna be able to get out and enjoy myself. She said, I'm gonna have fun.

SPEAKER_02 28:57

That is real. That is real. And I feel like for me, when I go out now, I'm intentional about having fun. Like, I only want to spend time with people that are on my same energy wavelength. Yes, just it gotta be the same. Because like, mm-mm.

SPEAKER_01 29:15

I didn't even mean people like girl, this what you know.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

If you're not my hype man, I don't need you.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

Yeah, exactly. So like your time could not be, doesn't necessarily mean going out, having drinks, going to dance, whatever. Find out where you vibe. You know, it could be a new book. It could be going to a bookstore to find a new book to read while you're at the coffee shop by yourself with nobody else bothering you. Just in that damn book. You know what I'm saying? Like it could be walking with your hairphones, listen to a podcast. I don't know, sing them all, honey. It could be in getting the earbuds while you're out there. That could be it as well.

SPEAKER_02 29:54

We got you. We are your people. Right? We ease you good.

SPEAKER_01 29:59

So um it could be.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

It could be praying, it could be going to the gym. Listen, it could even be, listen, I do brunch every month, right? And I go when I can. If I ain't feeling like it, I don't go. Like, you know what I mean? Sometimes you don't feel up to it. Um, one thing I want to definitely say, if it's not like a hell yeah, then it's a hell no for me. Like, if you have any reason that you don't really want to go, don't force yourself. Sometimes me time is way better than we time. Yeah. You know, sometimes just putting yourself first means just being with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 30:33

Exactly. And then um, I know a couple moms who are like, when I get home or when I pull up to the school or when I pull up to practice, I don't get out to mix and me go and talk to everybody. I just like to sit in my car and be in my silence. Or eat a little snack by myself and I had a little hand.

SPEAKER_02 30:51

Can I have you? First of all, let me tell you, anytime I'm at an event by myself, like if I'm going to a training, it could be a work training, it could be something if it's out of town and they get snacks, you should see me. It's like I'm a snack bandit. Like I go and get them, and it's the pure and utter happiness that I get knowing that ain't nobody about to ask me for a bite. Because at home, you know, you had the same thing, and they want to taste my hair.

SPEAKER_01 31:18

I had snacks now. I never thought I'd be that mom. I have snacks.

SPEAKER_02 31:20

Listen, it don't stop when they turn 18. I just want to let you know.

SPEAKER_01 31:24

Yeah. My kids like, where do you get that from? So let's talk about what other sigamals wish they could say out loud during this end of school year chaos.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Ooh, gosh.

SPEAKER_01 31:35

We made it, but did we?

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Um, I wish somebody else would have helped me drive these kids to school. Um, because in the morning trying to drive all three the level, I don't know what my blood pressure was looking like while I was driving. You know what I mean? Sitting in traffic, trying to get all these kids to school on time, and then getting to the school, and they be like, oh, could you sign them in? They tardy. Do you know somehow the universe wanted me to be in three places at one time? Are you crazy right now? Like, do you know what I'm going through? Don't add anything else to my plate right now.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

You know? I'm so happy for you though, with the possibility of doing one drop off of one pickup. Girl.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

Listen, it it's more than a possibility. This is what's happening next week.

SPEAKER_01 32:19

Why are you making it happen?

SPEAKER_02 32:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 32:21

You thought you were going to school with your friends there? Uh-huh. I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Good luck. Yeah, so what else? Um, it's okay to love your kids and still need a break. I listen, my kids know now. Once all three of them start talking to me at the same time, I do one of these. I I sadly lose eye contact, and then I just be like, and then one of them will be like reaching for shit that's not there. Yes, yes, yes. And then one of the kids will be like, oh, mama is overstimulated. Yes, the fuck I am. So it's okay to be human. It is hard being a super mom. And listen, you know, one other thing I want to say, people be like, Oh, I don't know how you do it all. You're like superwoman. I don't want to be superwoman.

SPEAKER_03 33:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:07

Okay? That is not a compliment. Like, if I don't get to be in shape and fly and have laser vision, so I could like take people out when I need to. Don't call me superwoman. You know, it's okay, you know, to say like you don't want to be around kids all summer. Or if you're if you feel lonely. It's okay. Like those things are real feelings. It's okay to go on a hot date. Like you are still human. Remember those things. It's okay to have a hot girl summer as long as you're protected.

SPEAKER_01 33:34

Exactly. And you could get protected by getting on prep. Absolutely. We're protecting ourselves in more way than one by being on prep. Now, what is prep quack?

SPEAKER_02 33:44

Pre-exposure prophylaxis for HIV. Basically, birth control for HIV. It prevents you from getting it. It's over 99% effective against the sexual transmission of HIV and over 74% effective against the transmission via IV drug use in other ways. But the big thing here is it is a preemptive strike against anything that's coming against your health, right? Now it doesn't make you a superhero. Everything else is outside. So I always say for us single moms here, inspect the merchandise. All of it. If you see something funny, it ain't time today. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 34:19

You got so many other things on your mind. Your health when it comes to uh sexual health should not be one of them all the time. And you'll be able to lower your risk of getting any type of HIV or AIDS transmission if you go ahead and get on prep like us because the single mom is who's gonna be the hero win around? Exactly.

SPEAKER_02 34:41

De daddy, hay us here. We are the consistent people.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

Listen, that should be the commercial. De daddy, ha!

SPEAKER_02 34:48

Oh my god. But no lies detected. No lies detected. Exactly. It's okay. Like, you don't have to have everything figured out for the summer for as a single mom. Just go with the flow. Sometimes summer is about going with the cool breeze, especially when you find it, because sometimes it's just hot. Okay?

SPEAKER_01 35:05

Yeah, yeah. And I also want to say that when it comes to summer and being a single parent, this is my third summer going into being a single parent. Um, I would have to say that I have gotten to the point where I'm okay with expressing my feelings and not feeling as if saying I'm tired is a weakness. Um like I just need a break is a weakness. Saying, you know, I oh my goodness, I love them, but I just need to be isolated for a little bit. I don't see that as a weakness anymore. It is me. I do.

SPEAKER_02 35:38

You gotta be able to recharge.

SPEAKER_01 35:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

And your kids need to recharge too. I also like always think about this like as much as we need a break, those kids need to break too. Cause ain't nobody tell them that they was gonna come into this world and then have a full-time job going to school for nine months out of the year. Yeah, you know what I mean? Because their jobs right now are to play. Like, you know what I mean? And and and and learn and create and explore. Yeah. Yes, explore, yes. You know, so it's strength strenuous, stressful for everyone, you know. Everybody needs a break. Your kids need me time too.

SPEAKER_01 36:09

And even mothers need a break. You know what I'm saying? Good mothers get tired too. Shit. Hashtag good mothers get tired too.

SPEAKER_02 36:17

Absolutely. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 36:20

Yeah. So let's talk about a summer self-care challenge. So single mom honey summer reset challenge. Ooh, that's not single mom honey, honey. Single moments, summer reset challenge. Single mom honey summaries challenge. Single mom honey summer reset. So when it comes to this, we're going to look at different segments that is a part of the single mom, but also the part that makes the single mom happy and prosperous in life. Physical health, mental health, social health, spiritual health, all the health. Oh my god. Yes, all the health. So physical health, walking. This is something that I have been doing with my boys. We will walk for about 20-30 minutes to the dollar store once a week, and I just allow them to buy something from the dollar store. One item. They may be able to get two if they if I remember to tell about the drawers and they actually do them. But other than that, we could do that. So walking 20 minutes three times a week would be great.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

I challenge you to even do 30 minutes. Okay, because it is recommended that you do at least 150 minutes a week of cardiovascular activities. Yep. Yeah. Boom. So good. Wherever you can start, get started. You start at 20 minutes, cool.

SPEAKER_01 37:37

And if there's no time, it could be a dance party at home. Put on that.

SPEAKER_02 37:41

Be quiet, I'm not talking to you.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

She always listened.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

You know, and then listen, not me looking to see who was in the room with you just now.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

She is always just like, I don't know what you're asking me right now. You should know, ain't you? But yeah, making sure that you drink more water. I like to have my ice in the spring and summer by the time I like to crunch, crunch, crunch. And then also schedule your annual wellness visit. I do mine in the fall because at the beginning of the school year, now I have more time to be able to go to the doctor and have to find somebody to watch the kids during the summertime or whatever. But if you do a summer physical, then make sure you stay on top of it. When it comes to mental health, okay, let me say this though.

SPEAKER_02 38:26

If you are about to be outside this summer, make sure you're getting your STI screens at least every three months. And then you want to get them before, before you start with a new partner. Make sure y'all both get tested. It's F-Y.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

Keep going.

SPEAKER_01 38:39

Go ahead. No, that's wonderful. Thank you. Um, and also mental health, journal. Yes. Journal at least five minutes a day.

SPEAKER_02 38:46

Journal or if you're into writing, you could write as well. Like it doesn't have to always be a journal entry. You could be creative. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Poetry. Or physically write down your list so it can get out of your damn mind. You don't go crazy all the time. Um limit the doom scrolling. My doom scrolling has been crazy. But one thing that I am implementing start July 1st, because June, we're already halfway through that. It ain't gonna happen. Is we're going to be limiting screen time as a family. So that's a good idea. Children, TV, cell phones, tablets, computers, all those things. We're going to be limiting screen time as a family. And I feel like it might be a little bit more beneficial for me than for the kids. Um, because I get tired of that thing, but I'm so attached to it, I feel like. And I feel like it's giving me an outlet outside of them being here. I have not doom scroll that much until summertime started with the kids. I needed like a a place outside of that.

SPEAKER_02 39:45

I just had a revelation. Like, I know that I like Pinot Grigio, but this is good. Lord have mercy. This is good.

SPEAKER_01 39:55

Like And this is summertime with single time mom.

SPEAKER_00 40:00

Hey no! Wait, wait a second. I was like, wait a second.

SPEAKER_01 40:05

Uh listen, the cashier when I went about my wine, she was like, summertime, huh? She was like, listen. First of all, the the shows have been looking very sparse lately. But oh, I'm not gonna lie. Yeah.

unknown 40:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:20

So when it comes to social health, call a friend, talk to a friend. I want to say this, Ish, I appreciate our relationship because it's always wonderful just to be able to be 100% authentically me. I mean, in all honesty, people get authentic me, but you get like, you know.

SPEAKER_01 40:41

You you know authentic you on steroids. Like on steroids. Alright, so first of all, first of all, 10 community events.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Ask for help when you need it. Like, it's okay. You don't gotta do it all by yourself during the summer. You know, plan trips together with your friends. For example, like if we want to take the kids to an amusement park, we can all go together and rip writ uh cabana together instead of.

SPEAKER_01 41:06

Yeah, we still gotta do that. This summer that is happening. We would it was some shit happening last year.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Okay. Yeah, okay. That's okay. Ain't no time like the present.

SPEAKER_01 41:16

Right?

SPEAKER_02 41:16

You know, just make time for yourself. Spiritual health, you want to make sure that you're praying. Prayer works. Talk to your creator, talk to the universe, ask in advance. Those those prayers get answered. Meditate. Take time for yourself, reflect. I've been reflecting so much more in my 40s than I've ever been in my life. Like, I swear to goodness, I'll sit there and something will happen, and it's like I can go outside myself and look at the whole situation and be like, oh, that's why you did that. That's why you responded like that. That's why you did it, it's actually quite magical. Like it's not me judging myself, it's me seeing myself. I can see myself now.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:55

Which is wonderful. Yeah, I know. Um gratitude. You know, talk about the things you're thankful for. You know, as single moms, we got a lot of things that piss us the fuck off. Like, we we have so many things, like listen, do you have the time? Think about the things you're grateful for because that list is like that can go on for forever. And then it'll put you in a negative mindset. We don't need all of that.

SPEAKER_01 42:22

Yeah. Yeah, gratitude is definitely something I I find myself as I get older, I'm thanking God throughout the day. Constantly throughout the day. Thank you, God. Thank you guys.

SPEAKER_02 42:32

I just want to understand something. I know you're thinking God for throughout the day, but it I just want to ask God how your hands was on your face with no arm just now.

SPEAKER_01 42:39

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 42:40

You see that? That's wild.

SPEAKER_01 42:41

Yeah. Now, if y'all want to see, because I got to do background on the video because my kids are touring my house. It's summer break, y'all. Go ahead and watch this on YouTube. Single bong honey official. Because I am my limbs are floating.

SPEAKER_02 42:55

Girl, if your hands start floating, I'm gonna get nervous.

SPEAKER_01 42:58

Like psychedelic. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 43:01

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 43:03

So we want to know and hear from you listeners if you are new. Welcome. If you are a returning listener, what's up with you?

SPEAKER_00 43:12

You ain't even called nobody.

SPEAKER_01 43:14

Oh my goodness. But also, which summer struggle hits hardest? You know, is it childcare, finances, burnout, keeping kids entertained, or finding time for yourself? Which one hits the hardest for you, Quay? Well, don't summer.

SPEAKER_00 43:29

Summer, summer, summer time. Oh, the vocals is vocaling today. Let me find out. That sounds pretty good. It must be no lie.

SPEAKER_02 43:39

Hmm. You know what? I will have to say, after doing some reflection, I have over the last couple of years been making some time for myself in the midst of um everything that I do. Because I am busy. Like, you know, I am I was thinking about all the things. Busiest woman I know. Girl, I know. I know. But part of that being busy. Is making time for myself. So I can't say that's finding time for myself because I've been finding time, but I've been intentional. Well intentional about finding time for myself. Because if I don't do it, I have to make finding time for myself a non-negotiable. Let me see, keeping kids entertained. That could be something, but I got some experience now. You know, um, I got some years behind the belt. Um, I will say my youngest, I still gotta keep him entertained somewhat. But, you know, I'm able to lean on my sisters and he has cousins and siblings, and he loves soccer. So, like, when I see something soccer and it's reasonable, we're gonna do soccer. You know, um, burnout probably could get me because I, you know, trying to have that work-life balance with working, trying to make sure there's enough money for our regular needs. Plus, I want to do things with my kids in the summer. Like, what I realized um with my oldest graduating now is that things go so fast. And like, you know, when kids go away to college, sometimes they don't come back. Like, you know, they don't go back home, they don't move back home. Like, that is not the end, but it's a new chapter. Like, you know what I mean? So I still want to be able to make those memories. Um, so trying to make sure that I have enough time between work, taking care of myself, and parenting by myself, you know, just trying to find that balance. And I think it's easy to get burnt out during all of that. Um, finances, that's always gonna be a challenge because everybody likes to eat every day. When you're doing it on your own. Exactly. They like to eat every day, multiple times. Childcare, I don't gotta worry about that much more. So, like, you know, everybody, like, my youngest is 11 now. And I got an 18-year-old. She is legally an adult. So, I mean, she's a kid old. She still calls mama when she needs finances and other things, you know, but that's fine. I'll always be here for them. Um, but I don't have to worry about child care. Um, thank God I have family around and they're very helpful so that I can have a career and um, you know, also do things for me because they see how hard I work. So, you know, they I'm very thankful for them because they don't make it, they don't give me a hard time about keeping the kids if I need a break. You got a real village. Yeah. Yeah. I'm able to be like, hey, uh, I need a break. I ain't got some in a long time. And I'm about to, I need somebody to take the edge off, you know? So but yeah, I said I would say it would be burnout, you know, just me overdoing it, trying to do a million things. Because, you know, after a while you realize life is short and you want to try to do all the things that you can. And you can't wait always until your kids grow up to do them. You can't wait till your kids grow up to be like, I'm going to find myself now. I mean, because you've been lost too long. If you go on a train the wrong direction for like miles and miles and miles, it's so hard to get back. So if you find yourself and five things you like to do, go for it. Make it a non-negotiable. You are non-negotiable. Ish, you are non-negotiable. You're trying to do that.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

I don't know girl, you're talking to me right now. I'm just telling you. Right. You are so What do you what is your what is your what struggle hits you the hardest? Keeping the kids entertained. Well, no. My hardest struggle is finances. Okay. Mm-hmm. Because I know since they've been home for the last two and a half weeks, I go to grocery shopping every week. Not like every week and a half, not like every two weeks.

SPEAKER_03 47:32

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 47:33

And my kids are very particular of what they like and what they don't like. And it's hard to keep up with that. And they're growing. My eight-year-old is hungry every 30 minutes. How?

SPEAKER_02 47:42

How? First of all, let me tell you this. My nephew, he is 13. And yesterday, he came in, was like, hi auntie, quay, quay. He comes to give me a hug. I hugged him and I realized when I hugged him, my head went on his shoulder.

SPEAKER_03 48:00

Mmm.

SPEAKER_00 48:01

I mean, you Lil.

SPEAKER_02 48:03

First of all, I Lil. I have five or four.

SPEAKER_00 48:06

Ooh. You ain't even advertising.

SPEAKER_02 48:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 48:08

Huh?

SPEAKER_01 48:08

You're not even averaging.

SPEAKER_02 48:10

I hope you got this telepathic message that I'm trying to just disappeared on the screen.

SPEAKER_01 48:16

I'm sorry, but average height is five.

SPEAKER_02 48:19

No, it's not. I'm average height is five.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Google it.

SPEAKER_02 48:23

Google it. I am. I am. You ain't got to worry, because I am for a woman in the US. I should say I gotta be specific. I am a black woman in the U.S. No. Okay, okay. Five, five, five.

unknown 48:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

Now, for the moment of truth, I just typed in what is average height for a woman in the U.S. Girl, I'm above average height. I knew it. Average height, the average height for an adult woman in the United States is five point okay, five feet and three point five inches. Boom. I'm 5'4.

SPEAKER_01 49:03

Tall. I told you I was tall. Ethnicity. Non-Hispanic black woman, average height is 5'4. So I guess you're right.

SPEAKER_02 49:09

I'm 5'4.

SPEAKER_00 49:11

I'm 5'4. I know. I guess you're right. I know I'm 5'6.

SPEAKER_02 49:14

No, no. You made that up. You tried to come for me. Now you know. Mm-hmm. It wasn't me. It was the wine talking. Okay, whatever. Joe Lois. Okay, I'm not little. And either is my. Hey Finos.

SPEAKER_00 49:30

What's up? Hey.

SPEAKER_01 49:34

Now I would never say finances is the hardest summer struggle because how am I spending as much money on groceries? And then as soon as I spend this money on groceries, I look at the refrigerator hours later and all of a sudden, I mean days later, I'm like, why can't I see the back of the refrigerator?

SPEAKER_00 49:50

It just it's not making sense to me at all.

SPEAKER_01 49:54

And also keeping the kids entertained. My kids are younger than yours, so keeping them entertained. I haven't worn them down to the point of like, don't have me. They come and ask me and tell me constantly. I'm bored.

SPEAKER_02 50:05

It's 26. I'm I just want to tell you how happy I am not to have to play with Barbies or, you know, um make believe things right now. Like, right now, me and my kids are in the midst of like writing books, so it's like more like creativity.

SPEAKER_03 50:22

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 50:22

But, you know, my niece, he was like, Auntie, quick, come play with me. And I I came and I tried to play Barbies with her, and I realized that my imagination doesn't work in this realm. You know, what do you mean? She wanted to play Barbies and she was going for it, but then it got dark.

SPEAKER_01 50:38

Like, you know, your side of hers.

SPEAKER_02 50:40

On her side. And I was like, I don't know what type of Barbies you play, baby. Wait, sure. So she was like, um, Auntie, we're growing a championship, all of us. And then somehow it ended up that Ken went missing in floating in the river. And I feel like, yeah. I was just like, what what Barbie? Something along those lines. I can't remember exactly.

SPEAKER_01 51:05

But Barbie. Get your square.

SPEAKER_02 51:07

Hi, Barbie. Barbie on snapped.

SPEAKER_01 51:13

She was on clearance, huh? I love playing stuff like that with kids. I love imaginary things. It just imagined going. My kids like, all right, we run with that. All right, let's go. So then, boom. So then, mind you, you know, I'll be like that when it kind of kids. So let's talk about have a honey jar moment. This is gonna be a new segment where we bring the honey because we done dropped the tea. So how about this? What is one thing, Klay, that you're proud of from this school year? Oh my God.

SPEAKER_02 51:45

What I am proud of is I was able to get my kids to school as often as I could. Okay, now listen, listen, listen, listen. I'm not like an old school mom. Like we went to school like during the 90s. It was rain, sleet, snow. There was no mental health days. But none of that. I feel like that I have supported my kids to the best of my ability as far as getting them to school, like, and also starting their mornings off positive. I have made it a point to make sure that if they have a rough day, it's not gonna be because of mama. Like, you know what I mean? You know, if they are running late, I'm taking them, you know, but also not scolding them, allowing them to be human. I am proud that I allowed my kids to be human this year.

SPEAKER_03 52:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:35

You know what I mean? Um, if they had a mental health day, it was okay for them to stay home. If they had a rough day, they could talk to me about anything. And I listened. Like, I was present.

SPEAKER_01 52:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:45

You know, that's what I'm proud of. Yeah, I love all of that. Who are you proud of?

SPEAKER_01 52:48

We made it.

unknown 52:49

Oh, mama.

SPEAKER_01 52:50

You passed, you got promoted to the next grade. That's important. Um I will say the main thing I'm most proud of this school year. Um, first of all, my oldest is like a genius. He gets all A's and A pluses. I like, I don't think I ever get an A plus. I think I got some A's. Yeah, definitely surviving. I would say the highlight of my school year is I ain't gotta pay no daycare tuition no more. Listen, tuition no more. I I uh I ain't gotta pay no daycare tuition.

SPEAKER_02 53:19

And I think like some people don't know how important that is. I remember when I stopped paying, like when I first got divorced and then my aunt passed away. Um, you know, my aunt Renee, she was my fave. RIP. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Um, when I started to have to pay real child care expenses right after I got divorced and she passed, like that was a hard time. I was not getting any support. And nothing much change. Well, no, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm still not getting any support, but like I also wasn't making as much. But childcare doesn't care about that. Like, yeah, it is, I swear, it's a scam on single moms or just parents, period. Like, it shouldn't cost that much. It's crazy. There should be more support when it comes to childcare. But you shouldn't be penalized for having kids, in my opinion. Or penalized for working. When that bill went away, like, because you think about it, you can't work if you don't handle why I take care of your kids. Yep. And you still need to take care of your kids. So you gotta work. So you gotta work. It's like six days. Yeah. If you don't all work together, it's a lose-lose situation. Either way, it was it was magical. So I know I'm so happy for you. I am so happy.

SPEAKER_01 54:32

Girl, I had a drink, a real drink, the day of his pre-K graduation that I no longer had to pay that money every month that we were moving on to another segment in our life. But most importantly, we want you all to realize and know that we understand what you have been through, what you are going through, and what you may end up going through in the future because we ourselves are single moms in different areas when it comes to our children. But we want every single mom listening to know whether you're celebrating a graduation, like Quay is graduate or her daughter graduating, or sending a kid off to college, um figuring out summer child care, you know, simply trying to make it through the day. You deserve credit, you really do. And then also just realizing that summer is here, you know, it doesn't have to be hard, doesn't have to be complicated, doesn't have to be Pinterest perfect. Just give yourself permission to rest, laugh, enjoy that time with your kids because more.

SPEAKER_02 55:33

And be on vacation. Vacation is a state of mind.

SPEAKER_01 55:37

Yeah, they don't also gotta be. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:46

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 55:47

They just want to have, like you said, time with you. You know, time with your eyes and your gaze and your attention. Just make sure you breathe through it and enjoy the moment because they will not be forever.

SPEAKER_02 55:59

Also, you know, even though they want your eyes gazing upon them, remember it is summertime for you too. It is time for you to gaze upon.

SPEAKER_01 56:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 56:09

You could do that all year, but summertime.

SPEAKER_01 56:12

But summertime, you do have a lot more leniency. You know, you can get loose in more than one way.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

When it comes to the summer, summer! Oh, oh, listen, I felt that in my soul, though.

SPEAKER_01 56:23

And you should. If you felt this episode in your soul, go ahead and rate and let us know what you think about our podcast. We love fives because we are summer. Um, we are summertime single mom honey finds. Okay, thank you for listening to Single Mom Honey. We hope that you enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_02 56:46

Hey, so you bring the tea and we got the honey. See you next time. Bye.