There Are Gonna Be Days Like These - Episode 89

Some mornings don’t start the way you planned. This one started with dog pee. Literally.

I’m talking about the kind of morning where everything hits at once. The mess, the exhaustion, the regret over selling things too cheap, and the weight of a life that has more question marks than answers right now. I’m going through a lot right now, and I figured if I’m feeling it, some of you probably are too.

So I’m sharing 8 things I found that I’m starting to say to myself. At night so I can actually sleep, and in the mornings so I can keep going. They’re simple. They’re real. And I think they might help you too.

The 8 Things to say at bedtime:

1. Today is complete. 
2. I did enough. 
3. One moment does not define me. 
4. My brain can rest now. 
5. I don’t need to solve tomorrow tonight. 6. My body is safe. 
7. I am allowed to grow without urgency. 8. The life I want is built through small, aligned decisions. 

I also get real about pricing struggles, spinning my wheels on Whatnot, wondering if I’m in the right lane, and what it looks like to keep going when you genuinely don’t have all the answers. This one’s not a how-to. 

832-607-1526 | $20/30-min consult | Leave me a 5-star review if this helped you today! 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey there guys. I hope everybody is doing well. This is not going to be a super informative educational episode, although I think you can learn from everybody at all different times. So take that for what you will. If you're looking for that, there are other episodes. But in this one, I'm just going to talk about my latest life stuff and my thoughts and what's going on. And uh I'm sure there will be some insights in there. But uh if that's what you're looking for, go to another episode, please. All right. With that, I'm going to tell you what's going on. It is almost 7:15 on Monday morning. And uh about 15, 20 minutes ago, I heard Bentley whining to be let out. And the dog has a doggy door. So I don't really actually have to go and open the door manually, but he likes our coffee and mornings outside. So I'm like, okay, I'm getting up, Bentley. I'm getting up, not even knowing what time it was, because I didn't sleep well. So that's a factor in all of this. I didn't sleep well. The night before I did, but last night I did not. So I get up and my first thing to hit the floor was my foot hit Bentley's pee. And I'm like, you're kidding me. Why didn't you use the doggy door? But I realized, yes, he's peed all over the floor. And not only that, my comforter has fallen into the pee, or he peed on the edge of the comforter. So now I have to clean all that up and deal with that. That was the very first thing. Then walking down my hall, I see my entryway hall to my left. Um, and it has boxes all askew, a mess. I've got to clean up from last night's show. So the first thoughts that are going through my mind are oh my gosh, I've got to get this done. Plus, I have a 10 o'clock show this morning. Plus, I'm feeling a lot of frustration and regret for selling certain things for prices that were way too low. And I get that I did that. It's my choice, it's my decision, it's my whatever. But my type A personality and the loop that I put myself in is not to let that go real quick. And I need to work on that because I sold several things for way less than I wanted to. And I'm I'm disappointed. I'm I'm disappointed by that. So I see that. Then I get to the kitchen and there are chairs still up on the kitchen table after my kid mopped. I got the sweeping done, I got the water, everything. All he had to do was move the mop around, but the chairs didn't get put down. So I have that, you know, mother tinge of gosh, how hard would it have been just to put the chairs down? You know. Then I go to the coffee pot. It's out of coffee beans. Uh, so I have to change that. So I'm like, am I the only one? I'm telling you my thoughts, guys. We're getting there. And I'm like, am I the only one who refills this? Am I the only one who does it? Because other people drink coffee too. How come I'm the only one? Then I'm like, I have to go feed the dogs. So I go to feed the dogs, and right across from where the dog food is is the laundry room. And I look in there, and there's like two piles of laundry that need to be put up there. And I'm like, oh, I've got to do laundry today. There's so much laundry. I realize that not only is there laundry in the washer and the dryer and the two piles outside, but my bedroom has piles of laundry that are clean that need to be hung up, and a big pile in the bathroom that needs to be done. So I'm sitting here going, I'm I'm looking at my day. This is just like the first like four minutes or something, you know, the dog pee, the chairs, the coffee, the laundry, the boxes piled up, the upcoming show at 10 o'clock, like all of it. And my first thoughts aren't, oh, what a lovely day, you know, sunshine, lollipops and rainbows. It's not that at all. And I know most of us probably don't wake up like that. Maybe some of you are Christians and you're waking up and you have your classical music or your you know, praise and worship music or whatever. Maybe some of you are don't even get up at this hour, you know. Um, maybe some of you are exercising or getting ready for work and you just jump in the shower and get going. But my point is we all have days like this, you know. Um, mama said there'd be days like this. And I think I think what's happened to me lately, and and I'm just being raw and honest because I feel like that when we are raw and honest, we as a society and as a community and as human beings can be more upfront and communicative and true to who we are and what we're going through, and therefore help one another out with that situation and circumstance. Um right now I'm trying to, we haven't even hit go on the divorce because of lawyers. Um, but we're talking about a divorce. Um, I can't imagine it not happening at this point. Um, and so I've got that whole layer on top of everything else. It's just like this big cloud. But the reason I mentioned that is because I've been having these shows to try to get funds for the divorce. And it's just been so wonderful and sweet that people who have gone through it, who have done it, have have been there and they're on the opposite side. They're sending me messages, they're sending me, you know, good wishes, they're they're saying that they're saying prayers for me. And and I just I so appreciate it and I'm so thankful for each and every one of you that have done that. Um, and so I just I get that sense of community and helping one another out. And that is actually why I do this podcast, because I could do shows and I I could charge X amount of money for you know this advice and that advice, and maybe in the future I'll do Patreon. I don't know how long I can I can keep doing this because it, I I I um pay $125 a month to keep this podcast up and going, and I don't get any money back for it. Um, anyways, that being said, I'm having to pull myself back and go, okay, so the morning started off bad. You have all these feelings, you have all these thoughts, but what's true, what's real, what's right, what do you need to pull back on? You know, you can only spend so many plates without things brought breaking. Yesterday I cleaned and I organized, I kept putting back my show. I think that's one of my reasons that my show didn't do as well. Um, there's a certain person, people that are on in my category every Wednesday and Sunday. And so you pretty much know not to go on. So, number one, I think I screwed up there. I shouldn't have gone on. Um, number two, I had that thumbnail and I kept moving it back. I was supposed to have a 745 show, then it was supposed to be 10, then I moved it to one, then four, then seven. So I kept moving that thumbnail back because I kept thinking, I'll feel better, I'll be better, I'll be okay, I'll get my stuff done. But I was exhausted. I was just physically, mentally, emotionally like I was drained. I was tapped out. And so when I went on last night, I don't think I was my positive, woo-hoo, let's go, let's party. I was frustrated. I had lost a lot of bookmarks when that thing happened last Wednesday. I don't know what happened with the glitch, but I know I had higher numbers on my bookmarks and not as many people are on there. That happened to some other people, and I'm like, what? Um, so yeah, at one point those had like 78 and now they have like 21 or something. And you're like, what in the world happened? Did they take some of ours and move them to somebody else's? I I don't know, but somebody else told me that happened. Um, anyways, I have a show at 10 and I'm having to self-talk and think things through. And the other day, I um I actually took a screenshot because I wanted to share this with you. Let me find it. Um, the other day before I went to bed and I actually slept well. Um, I have so many pictures. I took this and I I wanted you guys to be able to write it down if you thought it was, you know, beneficial. Um, but it's stuff you say to yourself at night so that your brain can just, you know, chill out and you can sleep better and you're not so anxious and you're not up in the middle of the night. I'm gonna print this up so that I can start saying it to myself at night. And then I was like, well, if I'm gonna do that at night, I need to have something that I write up in the mornings because things like today happen and I gotta pull myself back up and go, it's gonna be okay. Just it's another day, just keep going, you know. Um, kind of like uh finding Nemo. Just keep go, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, you know. Um, okay, here's what it is. You guys can take notes if you want, pause it, come back. Um, it's a few things, and I don't know who it was that I got it from. This is from somebody on like Instagram or Facebook or something. It's a piece of paper she's holding up. It says, number one, today is complete. So you say the day is over. I don't have to sit here and ruminate or think or over process everything that I did or I'm going to do. We can just say it's done. It's enough, right? Number two, I did enough. Okay, so one was today is complete. Number two is I did enough. Meaning you're done. You you can sit there and go, well, I should have done this, and I should go maybe, you know, start another alert of laundry, or oh, maybe I should have done that, or did I put my keys in my? I don't know where my purse is. Truly, I this morning I was sitting in bed. I'm hoping I can find my purse, but I'm like, did I leave it at an estate sale? Did I know I had to have had it to get home? And then I'm like, no, because I had my kids' keys. I've been thinking about that. And I was like, this is crazy. So just getting to the point where you say, today is complete and I did enough, and just calling it done. Number three is one moment does not define me. So if you had a moment or you said the wrong thing or somebody hurt you, that's not who you are, and you just need to process that. Number four, my brain can rest now. My brain can rest now. So one, today is complete. Number two, I did enough. Number three, one moment does not define me. Four, my brain can rest now. Number five is I don't need to solve tomorrow tonight. I don't need to solve tomorrow, tonight, right? Like tomorrow, there's a I don't know where it is in the Bible, but it's uh tomorrow. Uh tomorrow has enough worries. Wait, today has enough worries of its own. Do not borrow trouble, do not worry about tomorrow. There's a lot of verses in the Bible that talk about worry, but today has enough troubles of its own, do not borrow from tomorrow's. Meaning you you just do the best in the moment that you have, right? Um, number five was I did not need to solve. I I don't need to solve tomorrow tonight. Okay. Number six, my body is safe, just so that you feel safe and relaxed and protected so you can sleep. Number seven, I am allowed to grow without urgency. Meaning, we as women, especially, um, I think we're like, go, go, go, get this done, get this done. You heard my thoughts this morning when I was like, okay, I've got to clean up the pea. Now I've got to wash my comforter, I've got to do the dishes, I've got to put the chairs down, I've got to go, go, go, go, go, go. We carry this urgency on a regular basis. And I think a lot of us need to pull back and just go, it's okay. I'm allowed to grow without urgency. It doesn't have to be so, so fast. And number eight, the life I want is built built through small aligned decisions. Number eight, the life I want is built through small aligned decisions. Okay, so that being said, I am going to print up that list of eight, and uh maybe I can, you know, start putting it in something or share it for you guys somewhere. Um, but I'll put it in the notes. Maybe that's what I'll do. I'll put it in the notes, and that way you can have it. Um, duh. Um, also, I'm thinking that I need to do a morning one, right? And maybe for me, because I'm a Christian, I need need some Christian verses to go with this, right? Something that just helps me get up and get going and feel better about the day. Because when things are in chaos, when things are overwhelming, when they're stressful, when you can't find your perpetual calendar because there's so much stuff on the counter, or the dishes are piled up, or or whatever, and you're disappointed by events or things in your house, you know, the way things look, or the amount of work, or even human beings that you're dealing with, it can be stressful, it can be overwhelming. And then that stress just piles up on the next one. If you don't take care of it, if you don't resolve it, if you don't rectify the situation and get your head on straight, then it's just gonna pour on to other areas of your life, right? So I know this, and the reason I'm doing this episode and bringing this in into perspective is last night when I was in my show, a girl came in. Oh, hold on, I'm having a sip of coffee. So this girl came in and she said, I keep trying to have shows, I keep trying to get people in there, but I can't keep anybody in there, and I'm not selling anything. And and I I think I told her about my podcast. Sometimes I forget. Uh, I don't know if I did or not. Um, but I said, Yeah, I understand that can be really difficult, it can be really hard, and you just gotta keep trying and you just gotta keep going. And there's a part of me that now is sitting here going, what's right for one person might not be right for another. And what was right for me when I started whatnot might not be right for me today or in the future. Uh, we're all growing and changing and evolving and and becoming what we're supposed to be. If you're a Christian, you're becoming sanctified, you're trying to be more Christ-like and trying to be a better human being and person. Um, I am non-denominational for all of you who are going, she has six kids, she must be Catholic or whatever. Um, but my point is that I think we all have to stop, take stock of our lives, take stock of our situation. I I've done other episodes that talked about goals and the women episode in the past. You guys can go and listen to those. But I I really feel like this is fundamental to who we are in this world, in this society, in the situations that we find ourselves, because we don't give ourselves enough grace, which I talked about in my last podcast. It was giving grace to others and giving grace to ourselves. And I also think that we just put so much pressure on ourselves to to have the shows, to make the money, to, to sell the items, to go, to go, to go, to go. And I think for me, looking at this, I'm really gonna start evaluating what's working and what isn't. And not that I haven't all along, but I'm in a different place in life, right? Um, do I get a full-time job outside of the house? Am I making enough money where I, if we get divorced, I could keep this house because I don't want to have to sell the house. He's saying we have to. The lawyers that I have talked to that I haven't paid, a friend of mine said, no, you could keep the house. So I don't, I don't know, but either way, I need to make more money and I'm not. And then I kick myself and I I've just got to get over it because I sold some stuff last night that I would I should have definitely sold for more money. And I'm like, uh, why did I do that? So right now I'm struggling. I'm being really honest, as usual, with you guys. If I price my items really, really low, then there's the chance that I won't get enough people in the room. And then if I don't get enough people in the room, the bids don't get up to my minimum of what I even paid or would make for it, and I end up actually losing money on items, which who wants to go on and lose money on items? That's just dumb, right? So that's number one. And then number two, if I price them super high and I do competitions and whatever, or I do promote whatever that ends up taking money out, and I don't get as many sales. So I'm kind of caught between the two. I'm I'm I can't run all my stuff for a dollar like I've done before. This isn't I've I've done dollar starts, I've done so many dollar starts. I've I've done dollar starts, three dollar starts. I don't think I've done anything other than that. Um, maybe two. One, two, and three dollar starts, and that's it. But when you start that low and you don't have enough people in the room, then you end up losing money. And so now, honestly, as I'm even I've had this thought lately that I make a thumbnail that says if there's this many people in the room, items start at this amount. If there's this many people, but even if you do that, reality is some of those people are there just for the drama or the giveaways or the music or the personality. They're not buying at all. And so then you're kind of like, well, anyways, I've got really, really good stuff right now, and I think that's honestly part of my problem. That sounds crazy, I know. Um, but I've got high quality stuff. Uh, last night I sold an 18-inch tall 80s brass urn like uh base, and I sold it for 40 bucks, y'all. And I know that that probably could have gone at least for 60 or 80. It was in excellent condition, and I I knew there was only one girl bidding, and I ran it anyway. So once whatnot takes its money, you figure out how much money I paid for it, I basically lost money. I mean, I just I'm gonna have to have a specialty box, I'm gonna have to get it all together, and I'm just like, I can't believe I did that. And it's okay. She got it. I'm happy for her. And you know, you make mistakes, you make choices, but something's gotta give here. Something, and I feel what that girl said the other day. She's in her room, she's trying to get people in there, she's just not making enough money. And how many of us on here are doing that and kind of spinning our wheels a little bit? I've I've had days and weeks where traction is going, and I'm like, oh yes, we're getting there. I've got over 15,000 followers. It's gonna matter. 15,000 followers don't really matter. What matters is the buyers in the room. I mean, I I know that some people are like, oh, we've got, you know, you know, 60,000 followers. Maybe by that time you you have got the traction and you're regular and you're consistent and whatever. I think I've done so many things lately that were just stupid, like moving my thumbnail or changing things up too much and buying inventory that's too high priced. I don't know. And even even as I'm write, even as I'm saying this, I'm like, do I punch record? Do I do I actually go to publish and tell you guys my thoughts on this? I probably will. And I'm I'm probably thinking that some of you are doing the same things. I wish we could have that conversation and that dialogue um with the people who listen to this, because my guess is that yes, you're there. You either have too much inventory or too high inventory, or maybe you don't even have uh nice enough inventory. You know, maybe your inventory needs to move up a level. I I don't know. We're all in these situations where we have businesses and we're trying to grow them and we're trying to develop them and we're trying to figure out the best way to do it. And uh it can be hard, it can be daunting and stressful and overwhelming. And I think that we just have to do a lot of self-talk and we have to try our best to just keep going in, saying prayers, and and maybe you know, even saying things like the eight points that I Bentley's sitting over here eating his chew toy. And I'm like, Bentley, that's not oh my gosh, you know what it is? Oh my gosh, I thought it was a chew toy. I was like, why is it making so much noise? It's a yogurt. He's eating a yogurt. No, no, Bentley. Oh, this dog. Anyways, um Okay, so I'm gonna wrap this up. I have a show at 10 o'clock. I'm going to get dressed. I'm going to pack my boxes. I'm going to organize that room. I'm going to clean. I'm going to look at getting some more items in there that are maybe lower dollar amounts. Maybe go in and adjust some of my pricing to be somewhere in the middle between super, super cheap and super, super high. It's it's it's it there is a definite fear factor that goes on. And uh I always tell people, don't price it at that price unless you're willing to accept it. And so when I did price that brass vase at $40, I knew what I was doing, but it didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Just like stepping out of my bed this morning didn't work out the way I wanted it to. So I think that that's it. I just have to be okay with the ups and downs. You have to be okay with the ups and the downs. And we either decide to keep going forward and trying to get more traction, more people in the room, selling more items, et cetera, et cetera, without losing money, with actually making money. Um, I know you're we're talking about different categories, guys. I've been in 15 different categories. I've sold in lots of different categories, but I'm trying to make it in the vintage category right now. And I have or a vintage antiques, and I have a lot of really great vintage and antiques, but I'm scared to death because I mean, to be quite honest, I spent $500 on Hummel cloches and Hummel figurines. And now I'm like, oh my gosh, am I going to make my money back on those? I'm pretty scared. And then I'm like, maybe I should not have the shows because I only have like four or five people bookmarking it. And then I'm like, maybe I should try to sell them on Facebook Marketplace. Maybe I should, you know, do a Shopify account. I'm thinking all kinds of things right now because I truly don't know. I would have figured after being on here, and I know part of my issue is I didn't get in a lane and stay in a lane. I was all over the place. I've sold freeze-dry stuff, I've sold estate sales, I've done, you know, clothing, I've done jewelry, I've been in lots of categories. So most likely you're not going to be as bad off as me because of that situation. But right now, I'm I'm not getting enough traction. I'm not getting enough money. It's not worth my time, my energy, my effort unless I have 35 to 70 people in the room minimum, and I've got bidding wars going on. My prices are low enough that I know that if I went somewhere else, I can make more money. And that's I don't want to have to go somewhere else. I'm just I don't know what to do, honestly. And I feel I feel the pressure. And I I know a lot of us out there have to make our money and we have to have this. And there is a lot of pressure because you have to find the right items at the right price. You have to find the right buyer and the get get the right price. You have to be able to pay for, I pay like $1,100 right now for all of my packing supplies when I'm doing big, anywhere from $850-ish to $1,100 for just packing supplies, guys. We're talking bubble wrap and tape and boxes and everything, tissue and the saran wrap and all of that. That's a lot of money. That is a lot of money that could go to my pocket if people picked it up at my front door. I'm thinking it through. I'm really thinking it through. I don't want to have to get off, but I don't, I don't know. I don't know the answers. I'm not suggesting that I do right now. This is just one of those very raw episodes where I'm telling you my thoughts, my concerns, my worries. And and you know, I might go on at 10 o'clock in the morning and I might make some money today, or I might not. And I I have to be okay and prepared and ready for that, just like all of us do every time we go on. You know, although there are some people on here who are gonna make money no matter what they do, you know, they can they they could uh pick a booger and and hold it up and you know make 300 bucks on it. It's just it's crazy. Um, you know, um that happens. I am I am not in that category. And um, you know, that would be wonderful and great, but I think that there's also got to be some major challenges when you sell to that high of a level, those people have to be stressed out. They've got a lot on their plates too. Nope, nobody has it 100% easy and wonderful. Uh all of us are struggling. So while you might not have stepped in pee this morning, and while you might not have like five loads of laundry to do, and and uh while you might not have, I I think it's only 21 people's boxes to get out uh today, you're gonna have your struggles, you're gonna have your needs, you're gonna have all that, and you're gonna have to figure out just like me, what we're gonna say to ourselves and what we're gonna what's the word, absorb into our minds, positive, good, hopeful, instead of negative, frustrated, irritated, and we're gonna just keep going and we're just gonna keep doing our best. And if you get to the point where you're not making enough money and you're just spinning your wheels, and maybe this isn't the right the this, maybe this isn't the right path. Maybe you really do need another job, or maybe you need to switch inventory, or maybe you need to switch days or time or whatever. Because for me, I need to be leveling up. I personally have to, have to, have to make money, and I have to make a certain amount of money with this divorce and getting these lawyers and figuring all this out. And I don't know what I'm gonna do. It's really quite overwhelming. And then on top of all of that, I'm leaving for two weeks, and I don't know if that's gonna affect the algorithm, but I'm gonna leave from the 24th until June, I mean, June 24th to July 5th. And so I'm gonna be gone for two whole weeks, and I'm wondering if that's gonna affect things. I'm not making any life decisions like, oh, I'm getting off whatnot because this happened or that until I get back from that trip. Um, and that might be something I talk about too. But anyways, I hope that those eight things might be something that you guys took, you know, at night so that you can sleep better for some of you that are struggle with that. And I hope that you'll think about some positive things for the morning. I that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna start writing down, you know, when I I'm gonna put it by my coffee, put it in my uh my mirror, and um, it's gonna be positive things, some affirmations, some scripture, and I'm gonna think positive. I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get going, I'm going to push myself to keep going. And um, I'm hoping that you guys do that too. But I also hope that you take stock of your situation and circumstances and decide what's best, what's right for you, because it's not always gonna be the same, right? We we grow, we develop, we change, we learn, and we all need to do that. So, with that, there's there's my very real, very true feelings. And I am gonna go publish this and go get ready. And hopefully I'll see you guys today. If not, I hope you have a wonderful day buying and selling on whatnot and doing some other things, guys. I'm planning on going for a walk. I'm trying to get my steps in. Um, I'm gonna read a book outside and get some sun. Um, I'm gonna be very purposeful and intentional on what I do, and I want you guys to do the same. All right. I hope you have a wonderful day. Talk to you later. Bye bye.