Meet a Civil Engineer

In this episode of Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors, hosts Elsa Barbi and Dawn Andrews welcome an anonymous engineer who takes listeners on a candid journey through his career. The conversation kicks off with stories of youthful ambition and the lessons learned from a first job as a paperboy, before delving into the realities of working in the field of engineering. The guest opens up about the challenges of building transportation infrastructure in a car-centric society, the importance of public service, and how family influences shaped his path.  

The discussion explores the highs and lows of engineering: the difficulty of negotiating with stakeholders, the satisfaction of seeing a project come to life, and the surprising necessity of soft skills for success. The guest shares hard-earned insights about leadership, resilience after setbacks, and the value of collaboration across disciplines. The episode doesn't shy away from the uncomfortable, including a frank reflection on a disturbing workplace incident and the need for stronger action and empathy from leaders.  

Listeners also hear about the persistent lack of diversity in engineering and the changing stereotypes of the profession. With humor and honesty, the episode provides both cautionary tales and moments of inspiration for anyone navigating the world of work. Tune in for real stories, unexpected confessions, and a reminder that every career has secrets, and lessons, behind closed doors. 

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Transcript

Meet The Hosts And Premise

Speaker 1 0:09

Welcome to Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors. I'm Elsa Barby.

Speaker 2 0:13

And I'm Dawn Andrews. We have been friends since sixth grade. Somewhere between a car wash job, a few questionable boy choices, and 40 years of friendship, we became the kind of people who always want to know what was really going on, including at work.

Speaker 1 0:27

Dawn spent 25 years as an employment lawyer digging into workplace drama from the inside out. I built a long career in the beauty industry as a brand educator with a few TV cameos sprinkled in for fun.

Speaker 2 0:40

We came up in very different industries, but we have the same passion, meeting new people and asking how they got their jobs, what they love, what they can't stand, and what happens behind closed doors.

Speaker 1 0:52

Every episode, we talk to a new guest about their lived experience in the world of work. And because our guests stay anonymous, they can spill the truth without the fallout.

Speaker 2 1:01

We get into the choices they made, the tiny cruelties, the surprise kindnesses, and some of the moments that never make it into human resources reports.

Speaker 1 1:10

Equal Parts informative and titillating.

Speaker 2 1:27

Let's start at the very beginning. Tell us about your very first job.

Speaker 1:32

Yeah, um, so my first job was actually in middle school. Um, it was in seventh grade. I was a paper boy, and I I grew up in on the East Coast. And um, you know, I I just like the idea of having money equaled freedom, like and purchasing power. So, so making a couple bucks, you know, meant I could go and buy uh a video game or a remote control car or whatever the stuff I was into at that time. Um, you know, it it it was it really taught me a lot because um I used to wake up at like six in the morning, go out, you know, and again, 13, 14 years old, ride my bike over to where the papers were dropped off. Me and my friend, I didn't do it alone. I had a friend that was a companion that that kind of did it with me, and we'd go and you had to like get papers on the doorstep. You know, it was little, you know, old school. This is like 1980s, a while ago. So um, and it was also inclement weather. Like we would get 12 inches of snow. And I remember the first day of snow, I would strap on my paperboy bag and have all you know 20 pounds of papers or whatever, and I would like drag a path between the front doors so that the second day it would it would, you know, be easier. I'd have the path already kind of made, but just it's a good lesson to learn as a teenager. So so me having kids, I don't know that I would let my kids do that now. I don't know if it's a different time or or what, but but I appreciate that they let me go through that and it sort of created that that drive and motivation to do more as as I kind of went on during my life.

Current Work In Public Infrastructure

Speaker 1 2:57

Uh, what do you do now? What is your current field?

Speaker 3:01

I'm an engineer. So I work on projects around San Diego, infrastructure projects, building things for people, um, to all kinds of modes of transportation and really um providing opportunities for people to use something besides their car. I mean, California is very much, you know, centered around cars, and we've sort of have a society that's driven behind that. So um there are challenges in coming in after the fact and trying to say, hey, there's a train you can take, or here's a bus you can take, or here's a bike path you can take, um, because everything, all our development and so much of our society is centered around the car. But really, we're trying to build a place where people have options. Um, it's it's there's so many benefits to what we do in terms of the environment and reducing greenhouse gases, or you know, providing um facilities for people who can't afford a car. Because let's be honest, cars aren't cheap, you know, between the maintenance and the insurance and all the other stuff that comes with the car, it's really expensive and not everyone can afford a car. So having a bus route or having a train that you can get to or a bike path is really important for those that aren't, you know, financially well off. So it's very rewarding in that sense that I get to contribute to this transportation infrastructure network that we have. And it's really like my legacy where it's like long after I'm gone, I'm hoping, you know, these things will still be thriving and people will take beneficial use of it.

Speaker 2 4:17

Tell us a little bit about your path to engineering and how did you decide what type of engineering to go into?

Path To Engineering And Family Influence

Speaker 4:24

You know, I I'd like to say that there was some epiphany or some moment where I said, oh, this is what I'm gonna do, but there really wasn't. I I I really just sort of enjoyed math and sciences and um and I I didn't want to do uh a ton more schooling than than needed. So I think for engineering, you know, if you're really focused and um, you know, you you go to college, you can kind of walk out of college and get a good paying job as an engineer with just your four years of school. So that was motivating. I mean, those four years, don't get me wrong, they were intense as classes were really hard and it was a lot of work, but you know, it was kind of like compacting it all into that type four-year frame. And I just, you know, really was focused on something that would, I could, you know, sustain my my life afterwards, right? Something that would pay the bills and not go to get a degree that then you don't you, you know, you spend all this years on college and you don't have a good paying job to even pay off your loans because some people, you know, struggle with that as well. So for me it was sort of a practical solution. My brother's an also engineer engineer, so I'm sure that had my older brother, you know, had some influence on on me choosing that direction. So um, you know, all those factors. And and honestly, like um, you know, if I if I go back in time a little bit, um, you know, my my dad, I kind of mentioned he's an immigrant and and his family was very much uh, you know, I work in public service now, and his family was really into public service. Like he he comes from a very long list of like high achievers where like they worked as ministers of you know education and you know, all these different high-ranking positions in the country I came from, and my dad, even too, he was like the deputy minister of finance. Um, but he he came to America, you know, with like a hundred bucks in his pocket and three little kids. I wasn't born yet, and and worked for the World Bank and really just kind of built this life based on education and hard work and and led by example. And um, you know, even when he came to America, you know, in Afghanistan, you're you know, he worked on he worked on infrastructure projects, but but in America, he would even work as um as a loan officer and he was financing you know infrastructure projects in Southeast Asia. So so there's these the you know, when you do engineering projects, it's not just the engineering, right? There's all these other facets too. There's so many, it takes a whole village to build these projects, whether it's you know, you need legal aspects, you need financial aspects, you need the technical, you need the construction. There's so many pieces to delivering a project like this. And so he had one certain role in that. And, you know, I used to work in the private industry, but I always wanted to work in the public and uh sector, and and it was kind of a goal of mine, and so this opportunity arose. And now I kind of feel like a certain connection to him, he's he's passed on, unfortunately, but but I do feel like there's a connection to public service and and and building things for for many people to enjoy. So I I I feel connected to him in that way.

Speaker 1 7:07

From bikes to full-on transportation, what is one thing that has surprised you about this current field that you're in of engineering?

Speaker 7:16

There's a lot of things. Um, but you know, um I would say that it's it's a lot harder than it looks.

Speaker 2 7:25

I think what's the very worst thing about your job?

Speaker 7:30

A lot to choose from. But uh, you know, I spend a lot of time negotiating with with like we call them external stakeholders. So that would be like a city or another agency that that has, you know, some they they they own the land that I'm doing work on. And and so everyone has their own opinion on on how these things should be done. And and we're really it's hard because it's sometimes we they can't step out of their sort of world to realize that our intentions are good. We're there to provide something that really is beneficial for everyone. We really, safety is top of mind, all of those things. Um, but we get caught up in these, you know, like small details, and it's just it's it gets really frustrating because you're just you know struggling to to get them to agree to do what you want to, and and and you're making concessions along the way. And so it's difficult to get everyone on the same page and and sort of agree, you know, uh to what we're gonna do.

Speaker 1 8:26

And once that all comes together, then what would you say is the best part of your job?

Speaker 8:30

Well, that yeah, that's a perfect segue because the best part is is the what we the ribbon cutting, the end of the project, because then it's like we we throw this, you know, small party and and and like the press comes out and and it's just you see the look on people's faces, like, oh my gosh, I've been waiting, you know, especially the people who live in the neighborhood, like, oh, these this construction equipment's finally done and all that kind of stuff. So, so you know, once once we we cut the ribbon and like you know, they if it's a bike path, for example, they write it for the first time, just seeing the smile on their faces, honestly, that's what that's what I live for. Like, that's that's what that's my motivation, that's what keeps me going when I talked about all those difficult times. I'm like, well, just this is gonna be so great once it's built, and you get to see, you know, old people, young people, all different walks of life, you know, just going and enjoying this stuff. That's it's really rewarding.

Stakeholders, Friction, And Wins

Speaker 2 9:16

That's a skill that you use in your professional life that no one warned you would be so necessary.

Speaker 9:24

Um, okay, so I'm an engineer, and and you know, to stereotype engineers, they're not always known to have to be really extroverts and you know the greatest personalities and all that kind of stuff. Um, so I would say that that you know, um, engineering, uh, a lot of times uh you're promoted on technical expertise, which is great because technical expertise is is important. But at some point in time, you know, as you move up through the system into like management and senior management, like that technical expertise becomes less critical. And then your your emotional intelligence, your soft skills, all of those things, how you treat people, how you lead become so much more important. But it's all learnable stuff. It's not, I mean, if you can get through engineering school, you can also understand how to be an effective communicator, how you can be uh a compassionate listener, all those things. Um, but you know, it has to be very intentional. You have to carve out that time for it, and not everybody makes that a priority.

Speaker 2 10:17

Nice. What's a lesson that you've learned the hard way?

Speaker 10:22

Um I've learned the hard way that that you know, it's sometimes it's there there's something to be said in this world that we live in of the people that you know, it's it's who you know. Um, and I'll use my current work situation as an example where I was in a role of uh as an executive, I was in leadership and really um took a it was a big leap. It was, it was, you know, I had a lot of imposter syndrome type feelings going into it. I was kind of stressed about it and worried, but I I decided to just take it on and do the best that I can. And um, you know, by and large, I from you know, people told me that they felt like I'd done a good job. It was a temporary position. Of course, you know, not people who don't necessarily like what you do aren't gonna tell you that. So I get that, like, you know, you get get compliments from the people that like you, and and that's okay. Um, but we had a change in our executive leadership. And, you know, his perspective on organization was that there was just a lot of things that that need to be improved and fixed as he came aboard. Then he started to bring along people that he knew and he trusted. And in that process, when I competed for that same position that I held for a short period of time, I wasn't successful and he ended up picking somebody that he knew very well from his old organization. So it it was hard, you know, putting your heart and soul into this this position, taking this big leap. And in really, I was just getting my footing and feeling comfortable in that role. And then to kind of, I don't want to say have it taken away, but I mean effectively it sort of was um, and to and to basically help train the new person to come in because they're coming from a different place, not knowing the culture, not knowing the softwares and the programs and all kinds of stuff you need to know when you first start a new new job. Um, that was difficult. But I think now, you know, have it having been a little time past, I I can I can understand a little bit where our executive leadership was coming from in terms of trying to change the culture and bring people in that they could rely on. Um, and just kind of now I'm just refocused on like just doing the best job that I can and waiting for that next opportunity to step up and show them that I'm capable to get back to to where I was.

Soft Skills Over Technical Mastery

Speaker 1 12:20

If you had a magic wand, uh, what would be the one thing that you would actually change about this industry?

Speaker 12:29

There are a lot of things. Um, you know, I think I would like to see a little more diversity. Uh, I think one of the things, you know, engineering is a very male-dominated profession. I probably 90% of my colleagues are male. Um, and and so it'd be nice to see more females, nice to see more, more just people of just all different, you know, people of color or whatever, like all different walks of life. Um, it tends to to kind of be a lot of the the same. And and and you know, working with a with a lot of guys, it's it's it's good sometimes, but other things it's not it's not so good. So, so having that balance would be, I I think it'd make the workplace a lot more fun. I it's strange because I think I never really thought about it. So I just started talking about lab. But I think subconsciously, um, I think outside of work, I tend to hang out with a lot more females because at work I'm just seeing because work, you spend so much time with people, right? Like you probably, you know, spend as much time at work as you do with your family. But outside of work, like a lot of my closest friends are female, and I think it's me striving for that counterbalance to working with guys all day long.

Speaker 2 13:33

Tell us about the weirdest, oddest, strangest, most disturbing thing you've ever seen in the workplace in any of the jobs that you've had.

Speaker 13:43

Okay. Um, so I wasn't there, like I was close by, but I wasn't there when it actually happened because I probably would have reacted differently. But I had a coworker um whose daughter came to visit, and and she had worked at the company for a long time, and she had another male, she's a female coworker, she had a male coworker. They'd both worked together at this this company for a while. And um, her daughter came to visit. Her daughter at this point was probably like in her 20s or something, and this male individual hadn't seen his her daughter in a while, and he actually he walked up to her, he's like, Oh wow, look at you. You really developed and touched her in an inappropriate place.

Speaker 1 14:26

No and we are here for this. Keep going, keep going.

Setbacks, Politics, And Resilience

Speaker 14:33

I I don't know, I just and this was like you know, 10 or 15 years ago, not that long ago, and and not that it is ever excusable, right? But there's certainly um, you know, we've evolved to to be to be much much better. Um, but I it really um affected me in the sense of his boss and and just sort of he kind of brushed it off at the time. I and I and I just look back and I'm just shocked as a leader, someone who ran the whole office who had 50 employees that were you know below him, and and just sort of, and and this was someone, you know, not that not that it should matter because we all should hold ourselves to the highest ethics, but this is someone who also claimed to be a religious person as well. And you know, I just I just from a respect and dignity perspective really was disappointed at the lack of immediate response. Doing something immediately is is the least you can do, right? But it it it just didn't feel like um it was you know handled appropriately, the communication was poor, um it was really disappointing. Well, um, I think for me it was a learning lesson in in my career, and I can look back and say, don't don't be that person, you know, be be proactive, um, you know, you know, work quickly and and and and communicate well with the person to know that you're you're you're supporting them so that they feel safe even though something you know inappropriate or unfortunate's happened.

Speaker 2 15:53

Yeah. So so the perpetrator went up and just manhandled this young girl's boobies. Is that what happened?

Speaker 16:02

Pretty much, yes. That's exactly what happened. Yep.

Speaker 2 16:05

There are some myths about engineer.

Diversity Gaps In Engineering

Speaker 16:09

Well, I hope I hope that I've been able to demonstrate that not all engineers are you know nerdy introverts that like to talk about you know science and really weird things. So I'm I'm that's that's something that the gathering. Yeah, I I I pride myself in. Yeah, I mean, not trying to humble brag here, but then people be like, oh, you know, you're you're you're not like the other engineers, or you're not like most engineers. So I'm like, okay, that's that's a compliment. And so I do appreciate that. Um, so definitely, you know, I I I think I'm hoping to mentor people and to help people understand that, like, hey, you you have to work with other people, you you know, and in and teaching a lot of the skills by example or or even pointing them out specifically, it's really important. Um, because you know, there's no, I don't know of many jobs where you just work in a silo by yourself. There's always you have someone who's paying your paycheck, you have a boss, you have, you know, HR, you have all these, you know, whatever your role is, there's you're always you're never working in in just this little um you know nutshell. So it's it's it's important to have those those skills and and and really the sooner you develop them and the sooner you you hone those skills, I feel like your trajectory is so much higher, like you just you you accelerate so much faster because when you're somebody that people want to work with, then that makes you a wanted commodity and and that that in itself it it naturally elevates you. So um, and then the other part I would say is and you know, being a public sector employee, this this this antiquated notion that like you know, oh we just we're just there from eight to five and we just clock out and you know, and it's it's kind of a cakewalk. I I just that all those antiquated stereotypes about public and public service is it's it's I think it's getting less, so so I don't want to you know harp on it too much, but it definitely you still hear you get some inklings about that. I the people I work with are they're working nights and weekends, they're working their tails off. That it's it's it's it's all business. We're there's there's you know people that are really, really, really trying hard to make things happen. Um, and and I think some of that maybe root may be rooted in just you know lack of knowledge of of how much um you know stuff you have to do as a public agency because there's taxpayer money involved. You can't, you know, there's certain things that you can't just do because you have to be good stewards of taxpayer money. And legally, we're you know, we have to do certain things that takes us longer. And and and and that's really to protect um the taxpayers and protect that the people in terms of to make sure that we're using the money appropriately. So so there's a lot of stuff that happens behind the scenes that may make us look slower or inefficient, but but it's really just kind of part of part of business to make sure that everybody's accountable.

Speaker 2 18:41

Is there a pecking order among engineers? Like, do mechanical engineers like look down at electrical engineers and like ha ha that's all you are.

Speaker 18:55

There there definitely is. Um, I think I think it was more of a I I heard it more in college. Um, so I feel like like I'm a civil engineer, so civil engineers were lower on the Peking Rider, but yeah, definitely the electricals, the mechanicals, the chemicals engineers all felt like they they had a harder curriculum, they had more technical stuff. So they there was a little bit of you know elitism there. But you know, I I think uh as you mature in in your career and in in in life for that matter, I think I haven't heard I've heard a lot less of that lately now that I'm kind of pretty far removed from college.

Speaker 1 19:27

If someone's thinking about entering into your field of work, um what should they know?

Boundaries, Misconduct, And Leadership Failure

Speaker 19:33

They should they should know that that you can't just be a technical expert. Like you can't just be a math and science person. Um, you know, like so I'll use an example. If we if you have a project right now with us, like like in order to deliver a project, we have a whole finance group that makes sure that, you know, we have the money that's associated with the project is being properly used and we have budget and all that kind of stuff, right? And then you have attorneys in there saying, hey, Hey, let's make sure that we're not encroaching on private land, or if we do, we have the proper easements and the proper legal contracts necessary to do that. And then we have like a communications department that says, hey, if you're going to do construction, let's get out and let the public know before the construction equipment shows up because everyone likes it, it's better to tell them ahead of time, right? And then we have you know construction managers that are talking to the contractor and making sure that they're following the contract. So I guess I guess the point is that um you kind of have to be open to collaborating, you have to be open to you, you can't you can't know everything because it's it's too complicated. Not one person can have all of those skill sets. It's physically impossible. I can't be a lawyer, I can't be a construction manager, I can't be, you know, a financial expert. That that my brain, you know, it's no matter how much time and energy I spend, I can't learn all of those skill sets. So instead, you have to know when to engage those other people so that your project can be successful. You're the leader of the project, but at the same time, you have to tap in those people. And again, this requires collaboration, this requires communication and all those skills that are, you know, not necessarily the math and science that's need to be an engineer. So so I think being a well-rounded, good communicator, you know, having all those other skills of being able to collaborate and being in wanting to work with you makes you more successful in your job. So so you have to have an open mind going into this, that it's not like put your head down and crunch numbers with a calculator or sit on your computer and and draw on in CAD and all, you know, those other skills. That's that's definitely a piece of it. I'm not gonna diminish that or say that it's not, but but to be truly successful, you also have to be able to like grab and understand complex things from other people and get that information in as it relates to your project.

Speaker 1 21:38

Oh, all right. Well, thank you so much, Mr. Engineer, for sharing your story with us, many of the stories. I know I learned a lot. I'm sure my D did too as well. And I want to officially tell you that you've officially joined the ranks of the brave and the bold.

Speaker 21:57

Thank you. I'm very honored. And uh no, it was a lot of fun. I appreciate the questions and it was fun to chat about this.

Speaker 2 22:05

That's it for this week's confession. We've laughed, cringed, and maybe questioned our own career choices.

Speaker 1 22:12

Big thanks to our anonymous guests for keeping it real and reminding us that behind every job title is a story worth telling. If you've got a workplace confession of your own, we're all ears. Hit us up at our email address. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share. Your support helps us keep the secrets flowing.

Speaker 2 22:29

Until next time, keep your badge clipped, your coffee strong, and your stories wild. This is Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors.