Meet a Career Soldier Turned Event Planner

A scud missile flies over your base in broad daylight, the alarm never sounds, and you realize you might not have the extra 30 seconds you trained for. That’s one of the memories our anonymous guest shares, and it’s the kind that doesn’t fade just because you come home and put on a different uniform for work. We trace his path from a childhood job bagging groceries at a Guam commissary to an Air Force career built around service, standards, and the strange mix of boredom and intensity that comes with “hurry up and wait.” 

Years later, a single talk triggers the truth: PTSD, anxiety, and anger that spilled into relationships and everyday work. He shares what it was like to finally get help through the VA, and how his post-military career transition became part of healing. Using the GI Bill, he moves into barbering, esthetics, and holistic massage therapy, building a second career around care, calm, and community. If you care about veteran mental health, military transition, leadership under pressure, or workplace culture behind closed doors, you’ll find a lot to sit with here. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review with the moment that hit you hardest.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:02

Welcome to Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors. I'm Elsa Barby. And I'm Don Andrews. We have been friends since sixth grade. Somewhere between a car wash job, a few questionable boy choices, and 40 years of friendship, we became the kind of people who always want to know what was really going on, including at work.

SPEAKER_07 0:21

Don spent 25 years as an employment lawyer digging into workplace drama from the inside out. I built a long career in the beauty industry as a brand educator with a few TV cameos sprinkled in for fun.

SPEAKER_06 0:33

We came up in very different industries, but we have the same passion. Meeting new people and asking how they got their jobs, what they love, what they can't stand, and what happens behind closed doors.

SPEAKER_07 0:45

Every episode we talk to a new guest about their lived experience in the world of work. And because our guests stay anonymous, they can spill the truth without the fallout.

SPEAKER_06 0:54

We get into the choices they made, the tiny cruelties, the surprise kindnesses, and some of the moments that never make it into human resources reports.

First Job Bagging In Guam

SPEAKER_07 1:03

Equal Parts informative and titillating. This show serves up all the tea while honoring the incredible, complicated, often messy work people are doing across the industries and across the map. Welcome to Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors. Let's get into it. Thank you so much for joining us today. Let's just start off with the beginning, of course. What was your first job?

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Wow. Should I go back far?

SPEAKER_07 1:32

Go back to your first paying job.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

So I was a commissary bagger in a little island called Guam.

SPEAKER_07 1:45

Okay. And what did you do?

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Where America's Day begins. In the military, we have our own little supermarket. And that's pretty much on every base, whether it be overseas or stateside, and of course, in Guam, and each military base, whether it be Navy, Air Force, Army, Marine, have their own little supermarket, deeper discounts, of course, on base. So the commissary, I was a bagger. I think I was uh maybe 12 years old, 13.

SPEAKER_07 2:15

And uh, the law.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Yeah, yeah. In a way, so what you have to work yourself way your way up. So I grabbed carts for the baggers, and then every so often I would bag. It could help because my dad was the officer in charge of the commissary at the time at the naval station Guam, it was called. So that was my first kind of my introductory to a working man's journey.

SPEAKER_06 2:43

Tell us a little bit about what you're doing now.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

I'm retired, and I tell people I'm retired because I was in the military at one time. Not too long ago, because I feel like it wasn't too long ago, but it was like 2019 when I retired. But I lived a long life before that, tried college and then went into the military back like probably in 1998. And then I have a long history of uh my grandfather in World War II being a barber, he was the original barber in our family, and he taught my dad. But for whatever reason, I didn't really pick it up until I was maybe almost halfway done with the military, and I started cutting. I should do this, and so I started cutting, messing up people while deployed to the desert. Wait, I'll lean to be more exact. I can at least tell that one. But uh, but yeah, I started cutting and then I got better and better. And then when I retired, I was like, oh, I still have my GI Bill. And I went to college while I was in the military, even prior, so I had some credits, but I wasn't really a book person. I was like, you know what, I don't need a degree, I've lived so many lives and done so many things, and so I went to barber school. That led me into like really enjoying barber school and then went to esthetician, and then I really enjoyed that too. I said, I still have more of my GI Bill, so I went to a massage therapist, and then the massage therapist, oh, I can do a little bit extra. So I'm a holistic massage therapist. Wow.

SPEAKER_04 4:18

Wow. What?

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Yeah, hey, it's a whole service journey, whole beauty-related journey that I still enjoy to this day. I I shake myself up all the time. Like, why didn't I not start this a long time ago and I enjoy it now? And then the long story short, I was I was already an educator for other things, customer service, personal development, military stuff. And so I was already trained to be an educator. And so while I was going to school, of course, they educate, I'm a little older than most students that go to school. They saw that I was had education possibilities. And so COVID happened. Obviously, the industry took a hit. A lot of people like, look, I need to eat. This is not enough. And so they I was invited to be an instructor. And that led me into the position I am now and enjoying it.

SPEAKER_06 5:13

And what what exactly is your position now? What's your title?

SPEAKER_01 5:18

I do career fairs, fashion shows, and uh community services. Yeah, sorry.

SPEAKER_06 5:24

Nice, and that's for a beauty company?

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_06 5:27

Okay, excellent. Can you walk us through how you got from the collecting carts of the commons commissary in Guam to what you do now?

Odd Jobs That Built Confidence

SPEAKER_01 5:38

From pushing carts. Being a military brat, we moved around. So there was always a commissary, so I kept doing that until high school. But then I did a I was selling. Oh no. So back to Guam again after a couple moves, I ventured into selling tents. Wow. Camping tents? Like camping tents? Yeah, not camping tents. It's those part, the tarp tents for your the easy ups. The easy up. It's it's hard steel and connectors. So they would connect like over your driveway, or it's more permanent versus just put up and down, up and down, up and down. But you can use that as a party tent, a little bit heavier than a regular pop-up tent. So as a salesman for that, in between that, I was also hawking, really it was hawking VHS tapes of Japanese tourists around the company. So I would follow them around with this big VHS camera. You know how big those cameras were?

SPEAKER_07 6:39

Yeah, they're like two pieces to them, this beta.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

And you know, I would take pictures of flowers and with the Japanese tourists. So we I joined these Japanese tour bus and I followed the everybody around, and I would sell the tape at the end, like their adventure on this tour bus. And I believe it was at the time 50, I could be wrong, 50 to 100 each tape.

unknown 7:02

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_07 7:03

What did you get to keep? Did you get to keep all of the proceeds?

SPEAKER_01 7:06

Or what I think I was paid per hour.

unknown 7:09

No.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Was a commission. It was part per hour, part commission off of those tapes. But there was an editor, so I was just the camera guy. Take a picture of uh people walking, take people touching the flowers, the laddie stones, just you know, just the tourist stuff, like a memento for the Japanese tourists. Because back then I was like, oof, 90, early 92, 93, 92, 93, that time. And so Japanese tourism in Guam is a boom. So after that, I graduated high school and I don't even remember Kinko's Copies.

SPEAKER_07 7:43

Oh yeah, Kinko's, yeah, of course.

Joining The Air Force At 23

SPEAKER_01 7:46

Came back to San Diego ahead of my family. We were still in Guam, and so I graduated high school in I think it was 993, and then I came back to Guam, and that's where I worked at, Kinko's Copies. And yeah, I was the master of copy back and forth, making books and printing. And yeah, it was fun. And it was in how can I say it, it was in an area outside of my neighborhood, more more affluent, more rich area. And you know, Kinko's Copies at the time was 24-7. 24-7. And we get all kinds of characters at the point where I was one time with a cashier and get this. Okay, so I'm the cashier. Me and maybe the delivery driver was the only, I'm gonna say this colored person there. I was the little Filipino Asian boy, and then there was a black driver, pretty much, and then he left, and that was the token Asian boy there. It was the point where I was like calculating, okay, you have this copy and this printing, blah blah blah. It's$12.95. And the little lady comes up and says, Wow, you speak English really good. Oh, all I said, thank you very much. I speak English pretty well, and everybody's yeah, Kinko's copies, and after that, I my my life was like trying to go to school, trying to go to college, what I'm gonna do. And I was like 22 years old, and 23, I was like, you know what? I need to do something in my life, and so I joined the military, and I was in the Air Force. Yeah, by the time I was 23, I signed up to be in the middle.

SPEAKER_07 9:21

Wow, thank you. Thank you for your service.

SPEAKER_01 9:24

It was a blur, thank you. It was it's in my family and blood, and it was just something like I wanted to I wanted to do something with my life, and I want to explore the journey and all that. So I didn't mean it to be that long, but it happened.

SPEAKER_03 9:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:38

So this is the business aspect of the military, and we so basically it's customer service, taking care of people. I oversaw bazaars, I've been the theater manager while deployed, putting up bingos time and ping pong tournaments and all that. But also, I also helped out. Do you know USO?

SPEAKER_04 10:00

Mm-hmm.

Event Work And DJ Life

SPEAKER_01 10:00

AFE, yeah, they're like inner the entertainment, they bring bands and actors and celebrities through all the bases around the world. So I helped with that. So I was that's how I started to get into more of the entertainment slash event coordinating. So like Sinbad, Tommy Davidson, The Roots, Soldiers, A Rebel Soldier, Empire Celebrities. Oh, I forgot the name. Oh gosh. Anyways, yeah. So celebrities will come around in each base, and I was always in the mix because I was also DJing at the time when I was in the military too.

SPEAKER_06 10:32

So amazing. Very colorful experiences. Is that what you did pretty much the whole time you were in the military?

SPEAKER_01 10:43

Yeah, pretty much. I worked in the we're first time we're first were cooks, but I worked at Fitness Center, and then I worked at the lodging a little bit, mortuary affairs, and then I I dabbled in marketing. Uh the biggest part of me doing a lot of events wasn't what when I was staged in Japan. I was there for 16 years. Wow. In Tokyo, pretty much.

SPEAKER_06 11:04

Oh, amazing. I love Tokyo. Um, did you say mortuary affairs were part of it?

SPEAKER_01 11:11

Do I have stories? I am not spirit sensitive. Does that make sense? Yeah. I don't feel anything, but I did work for a couple years in the mortuary fair building. And yeah, basically we didn't have a real mortuary doctor or but we did have other bases that sent their we call them packages, their the deceased, uh, to our location and we helped ship it to another plane or C-130 back to the states and all that. So in Japan, we were like the centralized location. If they passed away in Korea or Asia or anywhere in that part, they would go to our base and then sent back to the states or wherever they are. So I helped package that. But in times of war, we we did that too. We helped the mortuary doctors or officers to package the deceased, put them in the casket, the military caskets, and then we also help with open caskets. But I worked in mortuary fares for a little bit part-time in the military as extra duty, but the most uh heartbreaking is when the package is small.

SPEAKER_05 12:25

Oh, that's really heartbreaking.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Mostly it's uh retired, they passed away like in in Asia somewhere, and then they get sent over to Japan to be shipped back to the States. But the small packages is where we're like, oh we had to see it. But yeah, there's protocols that we can play. Sometimes we just see the bag and we don't really see the whole body or the person, or the grieving relative or a significant other that's there. We get to open the casket and do the ceremony and let them grieve, whatever that. But yeah, that was part of our job. That was the hardest job to do was the mortuary fair.

SPEAKER_06 13:04

Yeah. Was the US in engaged in conflicts when you were in the service? You were in the service a long time.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

Yes. So I was part of the remember to Kosovo dilemma in '98, I think '99. Yeah, that was a conflict there. And then Kuwait, we went there many times because of Iraqi. They invaded Kuwait. So that's 2003, four or five, six. So deployed a couple times there too.

SPEAKER_07 13:31

What made you get out of the military? The military is changing.

Kuwait Shock And Awe Memories

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Elaborate. Yeah, the recruits that are coming in are changing, the generations changing. I'm Gen X. The world's changing, the mission is changing. I'm part of the kind of the old school in a way, because when I came in, I was wearing the BDUs, which is like the jungle welfare camouflage. It's changed now so much from blue to now cami, where we're or or how I say OCD, where everybody is almost the same uniform. The only thing that changed is the patches. Where we were wearing the BDUs when I came in, which is a green camouflage, and those variations. So yeah, there was a couple conflicts between the time '98 and 2019 that I was part of. It changes your life. Pretty much. I was there for shock and awe in 2003. Aliyal Salim. So Ali Al-Saleem was, I can let's talk about now, but it was only like 45 minutes by driving to the border of Iraq. And that experience alone, I'm not a combat physician, but I supported those who went to combat to come to us. And they'll the stories I have for that is crazy. Real crazy. Basically, Kuwait or Ali Al-Saleen, the base there, was in support of all the mission going into Iraq, back and forth. So we went to when I got there in 2003, there was a population of about 2,000 on our base, it's an air base. And then it when it we started that bombing Iraq, it went up to 10,000 people.

SPEAKER_05 15:12

Wow.

SPEAKER_01 15:13

And we were the only one of three or four dining halls at the time, but we're right next to the uh the air on the airport, but the flight line. And so we have Marines, we have army, we have CIA, we have SEALs, you have special forces going in and out of our base. And so we were like the stop after Iraq, and then they went off to do whatever they do, or they rest and then they went back to Iraq. That's where I think I got most of my anxiety and probably PTSD, and then looking at some of the uh Marines and Army. There was a time where I saw Marines come into so at the time, the first time I was there, I was working in a dining hall, and we're not cooking. We have what they call TCNs, third country nationals. There's people from Philippines, India, Nepal, and they were helping part of a contract where they're help cooking or cleaning in the dining hall. With the military, we were watching them pretty much making sure they're cooking and cleaning, keeping clean their hands. One day, a bunch of Marines came in. I'm behind the line and we're serving, I think it was breakfast or lunch, and I saw a bunch of Marines come in. Sweat. You can see the when you sweat and the salt stain that draws into your uniform, you can see the faces of these young Marines come in, they're like exhausted and tired. They it's hard for me to we can ask questions, but not really that much because they're so tired. So I asked the Marine, he was so tired down, he was like, Oh, I'm just so hungry, I want to eat. And then I asked Corporal, you guys okay? Yeah, sir, we're okay. I go, You look exhausted. Because yeah, we walked from Iraq. Whoa.

SPEAKER_07 16:56

45 minutes drive away.

SPEAKER_01 16:58

45 minutes driving. Five. So how much am I walking? I don't know. A couple hours. Wow. They walked, why did you walk? And he goes, We didn't have enough vehicle to oh my gosh. And so the guy goes, Corporal, whatever you need, steak, ice cream, hagg and dodge, whatever, basket rob get whatever you want. Gatorade, and so I hooked them up. And I thank my lucky stars and myself. Like I'm here in the support mission, but these young men and women going through this, walking miles and hours. You make do, you make do what's at the time we have no choice, we're gonna walk. And they walked. Obviously, they took a lot of breaks, but they were just totally exhausted, didn't want to eat. And so we saw that a couple times. And as the war went on, I got better and better. But when you first start this war, it's whatever we have, yeah, we can do. Yeah, that's why, like you when you see people the military, like we sleep anywhere, we do. They call it the hurry up and wait. So when you hurry up and wait, what time are we leaving? I don't know. Just go ahead and sit down and relax a little bit, and we'll let you know when we're on the mission or we're about to go. And so a lot of time we just sleep anywhere on the ground, on the tire, on the table. And so it's a usual thing for the military of all the branches, hurry up and wait.

SPEAKER_07 18:28

Wow. Did you live in a state of a heightened like anxiety when you were in Kuwait, when you were deployed?

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Basically, we trained a lot during that time to put chemical gear on. Why would we train for chemical gear? Because during that time it was known by Iraq or Saddam Hussein to use chemical weapons on his people. It's well known. And so I got a lot of military folks at that time and during my my all that joined together at the same time. We had to get shots so that we don't get too messed up if forever we have a chemical. So when we deploy to that area, Kuwait, I had seven six, seven anthrax shots.

SPEAKER_07 19:14

Wow. Just in case.

SPEAKER_01 19:18

Yeah, just yeah, just in case seven anthrax shots and the smallpox and all the shots. I uh I since I'm a military kid, so I got all the shots I was in the military, depending on all the shots while being in the military, and then some. We trained that. When Shot and All happened, and I was there in 2003, like I think January, February, we started bombing. We started attacking Iraq because they invaded Kuwait. So we pushed Kuwait and we pushed them back, and then a couple years later they started attacking Kuwait again, and we shock and all happened, and they were we were shooting our patriot missiles there. Our Kuwait was protected by a wall of patriots. And then of course we have our our our navies off the shore in the Persian Gulf? Yeah, the Persian Gulf. So we had a battery of wall, a wall of patriots going on, and they were shooting scud missiles at that time. So we had to be in a state of alert because when he they so at that time in Kuwait, we had alerts where if they shot a scud missile, we knew right away that was coming, and the patriot would inter intersect or hit it before it even came to us. But every time that goes off, we would have to put our chemical gear on. Mask and all that, right? So that we were trained for that for three, four, or five years in before that. So when this is going off, we they were shooting a lot of scud missiles at us. The Patriot missiles were intercepting. One day, the scud missile and the Patriot met about maybe two or three miles above our base. We looked up in lunchtime, and here you go. Wait a minute. Way before that, the alarm is supposed to go off. You're supposed to be geared out. Yeah, put on our gear, put on our masks, we go into the bunkers that was all around the base, and then we waited out, and then it turned green if there was no chemical or whatever like that. This time it shot over our base in broad daylight and we were looking and no alarm went off. So we said, Alarm red, alarm red. I was just yelling at the top of my lungs. We put on our mask on. I can put on my mask less than 30 seconds and go in the bunker. Now, here's the catch. At that time, we had journals, journalists walking into our bases every so often to visit. There was a one of the military escorts was escorting a journalist, a female. Now, granted, look picture this we're all in uniform, we got gear. We went in. The bunker, she was wearing I don't know what kind of clothes, but just regular civilian clothes. We put on our mask, we are fully masked, head to toe with gear and just a military mask. We looked over all she had was that mask you have when you go in a fire. That's all she had, and no chemical clothing to protect herself. So we're sitting here crouching down under a bunker because we're hyperventilating, we're at anxiety. Oh my god, I put my mask on. Is it tight? And we're looking over to the lady, and she's hyperventilating. So the military person that was escorting him took off his mask and put the mask on her.

SPEAKER_07 22:51

And she's wow.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Thank goodness it was just a scud missile. There was no chemicals on that that was attacked by us. I think maybe within 30 minutes it was all clear because they have testers of testing, oh, is it chemicals or whatever? But we were like, after we took off our masks and we took off our gear, oh yeah, did you see that? You see that? And you're like, we're talking about the guy, it was a guy who was escorting this journalist. Like, why did you take off your mask? He goes, I don't want her death to be on my conscious and yeah, and she was crying, hyping, and all that. So that experience, again, I'm not a combat support, I'm not that's not my mission. I'm here to support the combat or the airmen or the airplane. And so from there, I didn't know years later that that and that experience gave me anxiety, PTSD, or whatever, because I didn't know if I was gonna live or die. I don't know if this was a scud missile was gonna attack us and there's chemicals in there, and hence that's where a lot of military folks during that time, and even more friends and family who were army or marines who were in combat positions, how much more them when they said combat. Yeah, I'm just had anxiety for a scud missile going over my head, thinking I'm gonna die, I get messed up, and so I didn't know years later that it affected me big time because when you come from a war like that's okay, a lot of things are flashing through and the Vegas thing is like I'm the oldest in my family, so you you think was I a good son?

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Was I a good father?

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Not father, but brother. So all these things were running through your mind when you're in this kind of situation where it's life or death. I didn't know it affected me years later, and it also affected me when a lot of us went back. I went there two or three times, but that was really at the start in 2003 when there was combat actual missions, we didn't know what's going on, and we're protecting Kuwait, we're going to Iraq and all that. That it affected me a big time afterwards.

SPEAKER_02 25:15

So understandably, when folks talk about the unseen of damage within somebody, you don't know how military folks like whole law of things. It was scary, yeah.

PTSD Triggers And VA Help

SPEAKER_07 25:28

You mentioned that it wasn't until years later that you realized you had PTSD. Was there a single incident that occurred that made you flash back so many years back to the military that you were like, I've got to get help? If you did get help, I don't want to assume that you did, but I think it was years later, but there was one incident.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

We had a one of a chief master sergeant, I think he was security forces at the time, came to our school. So I got promoted to the rank of E5, which is a staff sergeant. So that's the beginning of a leadership. They call it non-commissioned officer, NCO. So I went to school for that, and we had a combat chief pretty much that was on on supporting security forces or whatever, but he lost, he went in with the the Humvees, and so I think it was Iraq. He lost everybody.

SPEAKER_02 26:18

Oh God.

SPEAKER_01 26:20

Within his mission, he was the lone survivor of his mission. So he wanted to talk to us as leaders how he felt and how that affected him and questioned. And he was telling a story, and then that it triggered me right away. Like I was like just crying non-stop. And that feeling came back of life or death, or am I a good person? Did I do well by my family? That I think that was the trigger of anxiety, or oh my gosh, it's my first time triggering some kind of memory of wartime. Because this is maybe five years, four years after the fact, I was three, and it just triggered me. And it affected me throughout my military career because of I was very mad, easy. I was angry, I was annoyed. When you come back from war, the little things that people get mad at were like, why? Why are you getting mad? It's and it a lot of triggers happen. And I lost a relationship because I didn't recognize that I had something inside me that needed to be fixed. So after I retired, I went to the VA to work on my disability and go through the whole motion. And I first time I saw, I met and talked to a therapist. That story, what I just told you, I repeated that and I just couldn't help myself. And I cried, I was angry. I was that it brought me back to that. And she I didn't say it. She said, You have PTSD or anxiety that we need to help you out. And so I went to a lot of classes. The VA helped me. Thank goodness that the VA in my hometown that it they helped me a lot. It's one of the number one VA hospitals in the world, in the nation. They helped me a lot. But I didn't know that there was something wrong with me until the therapist started talking to me and I share that story. And then that's why I'm I have an anxiety sometimes.

unknown 28:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

And then we have coping, you know. It's basically I get mad really easy for no reason. And so it affected my family, affected my relationship, it affected sometimes when I work, and though there's be times when I remember that, and it just have how to say, just scared, just scared out of my wits. And so you can't help it. It just triggers every so often.

Chasing Joy By Serving Others

SPEAKER_06 28:40

Yeah. Did your experience in the military shape where you went after? Were you looking for joy coming out of a bat?

SPEAKER_00 28:51

Very good.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

So that was the doctor's kind of like reasoning why I like entertaining. I have a big joy or satisfaction to make people smile, to when I was a DJ, to make them dance. When I they graduate, they they smile because they made they had a successful education and they this is the defining moment. I like little moments like that where I made people happy. But at the end of the day, it's because I was always deep down sad or angry. So I had to replace that with either comedy or entertainment or DJing or making people happy.

Trusting Command Then And Now

SPEAKER_06 29:33

Yeah. The other question that comes to mind is you were in the military during a number of presidents. That's how many presidents is that four?

SPEAKER_00 29:43

98. So was that Bush?

SPEAKER_06 29:47

Would have been Bush when you went in, right? And Trump when you came out?

SPEAKER_00 29:52

Yeah. Oh yeah. 2019.

SPEAKER_06 29:55

Yeah. So I'm curious if from your vantage point, wherever you were deployed at the time, could you tell there was somebody else in power? Did it even matter? Did it affect your orders or anything?

SPEAKER_01 30:07

Oh, good that's a really good question. During that time, being a military brat, but also being active duty, the president was in a point where how do I say this? We trusted our command.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

We trusted our leaders, wrong or right, because there are things that they can't say to us or they make decisions. And I understood that once I became an NCO or a non-commissioned officer in leadership, you trusted them from the top to the bottom. Their presence I disagreed in policy-wise, but in the long run, I believed that they were good people and they worked on information given to them around them. And so I never questioned my command. I never, like, oh, it was never something that I thought about daily or weekly. It's yes, you get mad. Oh, we got to run today. I gotta deploy for six months. But it's always for the greater good. You trusted your leadership to make decisions, life or death. And at the end of the day, we didn't trust, we didn't distrust their decisions at the time. And that that was the military then. And now yeah, it's very hard now. And it's very disheartening. I still have friends still in the military. I still have friends who still work for the military because they're civilians. And it's very difficult because the system is being questioned now. We we were raised, all of us were raised and trained to uh to follow the law, follow the rules, follow the policies. There's policies for a reason. There is laws for a reason. There they make decisions for a reason. And we whatever happens, you follow the law, you follow the policy, and you follow your leadership's command.

SPEAKER_05 32:00

Now everything's in question. That's how I see it. Everything's in question.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

And so I'm glad I'm out. But I'm sad too that the people who are in active duty like in that position now, that they question their command. They question their mission.

SPEAKER_07 32:21

So do you feel like they're conflicted? Have they verbalized that to you?

SPEAKER_00 32:25

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:26

100%. But the thing is we can't, especially with the military, we can't say it in front camera on audio. Do we say it behind? Oh yeah. And that's the same thing I think with some of our executive order, executive branch, the judicial, and all that. What they say in front of you is different than what they say off camera. And that's what's hurting. But yeah, that's it's disheartening right now. And I I feel for my brothers and sisters who are in in harm's way, who are in this position now, because it's for us, not all of us have another option. Whether it be military, whether it be in in the government, the GS, that's their livelihood. What else are they gonna do? There's a lot of career folks, military and civilians, that are in this position. What do we do? Do I go to the high ground? Do I use USMJ? And these are missions like questionable missions and questionable executive orders or orders. Like, what do we do? So you follow your command. Now I trust in my command. Now is do I really trust my command now? That's where we're at. That's where the nation's at. It's heartbreaking every day. And we hope that you know it it'll work itself way out. But I'm gonna tell you I blame all of them. Yeah, we're at this point because of all of them. What whatever party because look, there's a lot of smart people out there. Up there, there's Magnum Kum Ladi, there's officers for that went to the Air Force Academy, Navy Academy, these are smart people. And there's a lot of talk, but not a lot of action. And so what do we do? Do we stay silent or do we act? That's the hard part.

SPEAKER_07 34:25

Do you think those top officials are struggling with the same struggles that even your friends are having?

SPEAKER_01 34:30

Everybody-nine percent. Yeah. But when you're talking about career folks who live and breathe the federal government or the military, what do you do? Do you think there not everybody has options outside of the military? A few do. Some specialize, but some that's all they have is the military or the government.

SPEAKER_06 34:53

Yeah. You're stuck between losing your retirement and security and the thing you've always been doing and potentially being tried for war crimes because you follow an illegal order.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Exactly. Do you remember Richard Nixon?

SPEAKER_05 35:12

He didn't go to jail. That's right. Do you know who went to jail? A lot of other people.

SPEAKER_01 35:21

The head the head of DOJ. Attorney General. He went to jail. It's always that way. There's a lot of people gonna take the fall. And we're talking about career, career government, career military are gonna take the fall.

SPEAKER_07 35:38

Just tell us one thing or what you did like about being in the military and what you didn't like about being in the military.

SPEAKER_01 35:46

Oh man, the camaraderie, the diversity, the different cultures that we all shared. Is there racism? Yeah, of course. Like in any position. But when it came down to the mission, when it came down to the unit, we're all together to complete the mission, to complete the duty, to complete the task. We have to work together. Diversity is our strength. It totally is, because I lived it as a military brat and as an active duty person, and of course, as a federal employee. Diversity is our strength. That is who we are as America. So for anybody who tells you that different, never lived the life or was not in the federal government or not in the military at all. And for those speaking beyond that, is their diversity is very small. Or don't have a passport. I'm sorry to say it. But yeah, it's I miss the camaraderie. I miss the stableness, standard, the standards. Each job, every position have, you have to do this and this and this. If this happens, there's a reference to that to make that happen. Because there's a lot of people who who live by the law, by the standard, by the policy. If you go beyond that or adjust yourself to that, you get in trouble. So accountability is what I miss.

SPEAKER_07 37:10

Yeah, yeah. And what do you not miss about the military?

SPEAKER_01 37:15

The long hours. The very long hours in the military. We are paid 24-7. We're not paid by the hour. And we have to remind our airmen all the time. Yeah, I was reminded too. I only work nine to five. No, you don't. Today you're here. 12 hours, 24 hours. Yeah. Long hours. But yeah, it uh it was good. It wasn't like grueling for me, at least my job. I wasn't grueling, and it wasn't like sometimes it's boring, but we had a mission. If a mission, if you don't do your mission, something falls, somebody gets hurt, someone dies, someone you know will get in trouble. So everybody understood that. You eventually understand that you're on 24-7.

SPEAKER_07 38:02

What's a myth that people believe about your job that drives you nuts? About being in the military or when you were in the military?

SPEAKER_00 38:11

Being in the military.

SPEAKER_01 38:12

There is a few will say that were rich. That secrets granted, some positions do know more than the average bear, but yeah, and if you look at it too, there's so many benefits of being in the military that they don't understand, but there's a lot of sacrifice too. Yeah. So there they say, oh, you get a free house, you get free house, you get free rental, you get free food, you get this and this, free medical. Yes. But we also put our lives on the line every day because we are trained to deploy. We are trained to put ourselves on the line every single day. So they may see, oh, it's such such a benefit, and you guys are spoiled, you have this and that on base, but the sacrifice, what's the sacrifice? Time. When we deploy, we miss a lot of birthdays. We miss a lot of anniversaries, holidays, graduations for our kids, and the worst part is when a family member passes, dad, sending out there. There's a lot of sacrifice being in the military. It's not for everybody. So there is benefits, but I feel like the sacrifice cancels that sometimes because some people don't come back home doing the job they were trained to do. So whatever benefits we do get, I think, I believe we earn it, deserve it.

Closing Thanks And Listener Invite

SPEAKER_07 39:52

Yeah. Thank you so much for being a guest. I could probably bet my life on it. We're gonna have you on again.

SPEAKER_01 39:59

Yes, so thank you.

SPEAKER_07 40:01

This was like one avenue of your life, and I can't wait to dive into the other ones. But with that being said, thank you once again for sharing all those great stories that you were able to share with our audience. You've officially joined the ranks of the brave and the bold.

SPEAKER_06 40:19

That's it for this week's confession. We've laughed, cringed, and maybe questioned our own career choices.

SPEAKER_07 40:26

Big thanks to our anonymous guests for keeping it real and reminding us that behind every job title is a story worth telling.

SPEAKER_06 40:32

If you've got a workplace confession of your own, we're all ears.

SPEAKER_07 40:36

Hit us up at our email address. And don't forget to subscribe, rate, and share. Your support helps us keep the secrets flowing.

SPEAKER_06 40:43

Until next time, keep your badge clipped, your coffee strong, and your stories wild. This is Workplace Confessions Behind Closed Doors.