Self-Care Most Witches Don’t Talk About!

Dear listener,

What does self care mean to me, as a witch?

This is something I think more of us need to be conscious of. Self-care isn't just about taking a nice bubble bath. There are many layers to it, some witchy, some not.

In this episode, I unpack them, and I ask you to think about self-care in your own life. Are you getting enough of it?

Regards

Sarah Sula-Namia x

P.S.

You can find me on YouTube under That Divination Witch

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Okay, hello everybody. So if you're new here, welcome. If you're not new, welcome back. I am Sarah, and this is the Uncovened Podcast. Now, you'll notice that it's a bit different, even if you are somebody who is an audio only listener. I have decided to make it a dual thing. So if you're on YouTube, you'll be able to watch this as a video elsewhere. Yeah, it'll be audio. Uh but this podcast is a labour of love, you could say. It is my passion, it is a space where I can just be me. I'm always me, don't get me wrong, but this is like raw and filtered, that kind of thing. And that's why I started this at the beginning of the year. And I thought about well, making it just an audio offering, but yeah, I I I think I can't escape YouTube in that way. So hey ho, here we are. Now, the theme of this podcast on Covenant is about my life as a solo witch, and what that means. The very title means I don't need a coven, I don't need a group, right? But what does that look like? We're gonna be covering things that are not just to do with witchcraft, although we will cover witchy things, trust me on that. Uh we're covering things about my life, your life, mindsets, all sorts of stuff, right? And I like to leave each episode with a question, and a question directed at you guys, a question that you can use in journaling as a shadow work prompt if you so wish, but that is still going to be the format. Now today's theme is gonna be around self-care, and I think it's come at a very good time, uh, if anything good can come of the current climate of the world. I think it's good to touch on this topic self-care. What does it mean to me? How do I practice this? And what does it mean to you, and how do you practice it in your life? So it's not just about having a bubble bath and a pamp a day and putting on your face mask and whatever. Those are nice things, but that's that's just one layer of self-care. Self-care is about boundaries, self-care is about protecting your energy, self-care is about knowing your limits and sticking by them. Self-care is about not tolerating disrespect, and that isn't just other people disrespecting you, that is also you disrespecting yourself. So it's been a little while since I've been here with the podcast, and I'm not gonna give up on it. I'm gonna try and at least get one episode out a month because I've got other projects going as well. But that alone was in a way self-care. The podcast itself for me is an outlet of me getting my feelings and thoughts out and and being able to be that unfiltered version of myself, but also it's a place where I can not just be that unfiltered version of myself, but be creative in a different way than my other projects. But I I realize that I am very uh I'm hard on myself, very hard on myself in all areas of my life. I put a lot of pressure on myself. Uh, it's like that Pokemon thing, I want to be the very best, like no one ever was. Like I I hold myself up to standards that are a bit like, what the hell are you doing? No one's perfect. And I preach this to others, and I know this to be so, but yet I act as if I have to be perfect. So when it came to this project, I had it in mind and I had it all mapped out, and it had to be perfect, and I I burned out very quick, and I don't want to do that. I'm showing up, I'm showing up, I'm holding myself accountable for me, for you. So, self-care in a way is taking the time that I need to take in order to decompress, reflect, think about things, and to reconnect as well, to reconnect with you guys and to reconnect with the project and do it in a more authentic way. Even though I had the idea to just be an audio-only podcast, that's not me. It's just not me. I'm not that way inclined. I like to to have my face out there. It's not because I'm vain, it's because I'm an expressionable person, and I think I feel it's more personal, right? It's more personal for you if you're if you're watching, even if I'm on in the background, it's still a bit more personal. Feels like someone's talking to you, not at you, because that's what I'm like. I talk with you, not at you. That's me. So I feel that alone is self-care, just reflecting on that. If you have for you guys listening, if there is something you want to pursue and you want to do, are you guilty of this too? You got a hobby, great. I can think of one. I know this is gonna sound arbitrary, colouring in right. I love colouring in books. I never get the time to do them, like, but I put pressure on myself to even colour in right. Like, I know that sounds really silly, but it's true. Like, I have to be stylised with it, I can't just be messy with it. I I put pressure on myself for that, and that alone, colouring in is a mindfulness exercise, it's meant to be self-care. But if you take something that you enjoy, whether it is colouring in, a podcast, art project, whatever it may be, a hobby of some variety, and if you're putting some sort of pressure on that, some sort of measurement on that, then that's taking away the fun, that's taking away the point of it, right? So I really feel it's self-care to catch yourself in those moments. If you're like me and you're a bit of a perfectionist, a bit of a critic on yourself, yeah. Think about it. Stop and bloody think. Why am I doing this? Why am I being so hard on myself? Why does it have to be a competition? Even if that competition is yourself, you're competing against yourself. Like I am like that, I've noticed. It's it's sort of ingrained in in me from being a child, you know it's just popped into my head this funny story. I wasn't even a child, so I would have been in my early 20s or so, and I was at this house party with my friends. Uh, and when we had these house parties, it was random, like yeah, it was just it was random. And uh, someone brought over their old GameCube, right? Remember game cubes? And we were playing Mario Kart on a four-player scrit scrit screen? What? Split screen, scrit screen, square, screen, screen. Split screen, and uh I got a dodgy controller where the analogue stick wasn't moving properly, so I like proper went in a in a mood. I rage quit. I was like, I'm not playing. And my little character was just sitting at the uh front line, and that's because the the analogue stick was dodgy and I was at a bit of a disadvantage, yeah. I I don't think that was on purpose, but it's because I'm competitive, you know. If I am doing something, even when it's against myself, I want to show up a hundred percent. That's the way I've always been, and if you find resonance in that, like it's a good thing, it's a blessing, but it's also a curse because it means that you're authentic, you're authentic in who you are and in your approach, but it can also mean that you're really freaking hard on yourself, and that can be damaging when you start then comparing yourself to other people, comparing your progress to other people's progress. I've been through all of that even at time of filming with my YouTube channel on and off. You know, you're told when you're in social media, you have to look at what others are doing in your niche, what's their strengths, how can you adapt that for you? You know, how can you switch it up bloody da? It can be damaging, it really can. It can feel like you're not doing enough. But some things in life, it's not about winning. There is no winning, right? The only thing you're gonna win well is stress. You're gonna win a bit more stress, a bit more anxiety, maybe. You're not really winning. So I think that is self-care. Catching yourself in a behaviour like that for me has been self-care because I with the podcast, like I say, I I wasn't being authentically me in a sense. I I wasn't wasn't, it wasn't what I was saying, it was more the approach, and then I was getting in my head about the approach, so absolutely took my time to come back, took my time to figure out the direction that this was going in this project, and that in itself is a form of self-care. To not push yourself constantly. We are taught we have to work, work, work, work, work, hard work pays off, and it does, but not when it's something you're not really authentic about, something that you're not passionate about, you work yourself to the the bone sort of thing. Now, this is not the only way I would classify self-care on a personal level, boundaries. So I've talked there about boundaries with myself, essentially, catching myself in those behaviours of am I am I good enough? I need to do more, you know, constantly pushing myself, that's toxic, and I need to stop that. Take time, we're human, and we're also not perfect, and we're we're all gonna make mistakes. And comparison is indeed the thief of joy, really is. But another thing is boundaries, and I I strongly need to talk about this right now because at time of recording this I have had a real push on my boundaries. Now, this is not just boundaries with other people, though at time of recording it has been with other people, it has been an external force, but I've got to take accountability for my actions and what I am willing to put up with and not. So when it comes to boundaries, you know that it can be difficult to upkeep these, especially if we have boundaries with loved ones, people we care about, depending on the scenario. You know, it's uh it's hard to say no sometimes when you know that this person is somebody you love and care about and you do anything for, but say you haven't got the energy to, I don't know, they want you to go go to a concert. This is just a a little a little example that's a silly example, but whatever. Your best friend wants you to go to this concert, but you are not feeling very well, and you love your best friend, and so you push yourself, you go to the concert, and then you get even sicker. That has a knock-on effect because you're off work longer and then you lose more money, but you did it for your friend more than you. That is people pleasing, that is not enforcing a boundary. Anybody that values you and understands you would not hold it against you. So your friend in that scenario, if they're a real friend, shouldn't shouldn't be any type of way about you not showing up, they should understand you not very well, get well soon, right? Obviously, some people don't, and this is where we need to enforce the boundaries. But anyone who values you will understand, but it's not just external things, you've got to value yourself. So for me, I have a business, well, part of my business is I do readings and spells and consultations for people, right? And I have rules around that as to what I will read on and what I won't read on. Yes, I've had people in the past try and push me on that. So for example, I will not read on health. It's not a nice position to be put in as a person. Imagine if it was something really bad and I got a bad answer, you know. No, no, no. So I don't read on that. But I've had people push me on that and try and push my boundaries, so I say no, okay, but I've got to hold myself accountable. One thing I'll hold my hands up to, being guilty of, with my Zoom readings on there, there are times that I've gone above and beyond for people. There are times that I have gone over the allocated time, so whether it's a half an hour reading, an hour long, I'm on two hours, you know, I've gone above and beyond, and I shouldn't have. So I stopped doing that a long time ago. But there are other things where people want to jump the queue for readings as an example, and old me would try and help people, but new me is like, no, you have to wait your turn like everyone else. But the people pleaser in me starts to feel like a bad person. But that's where I have to take accountability. I also have to set boundaries with myself, and I've noticed I'm trying my best to get better at this, but switching off, right? Where anyone, if you're out there and you've got your own business, watch your working hours because for me I'm working all the time. Some people would say this isn't a job. Well, it actually is. It's not just about me doing readings and whatever. I teach people, yep. But it's not even just about that, even the content I make, I have to research, I have to think of the ideas, plan it out, I have to take time out my day to sit and record it, put it all together then. You know, it's it's not something it's not something that like isn't work, it is. But it's a form of work that I'm lucky, because I've worked to get here, that I'm fortunate enough to do, right? Instead of working in a I don't know, an office or answering to somebody else. I answer to me. But because I want to be the very best there ever was, like nobody ever was the Pokemon song, like I want to be the best me. And it goes back to the first point I made. I'm working till like after midnight, three in the morning. Sometimes I'm still making blooming shorts and I forgot what it's called, Instagrams. Like yeah, it's not good. I need to have a boundary with me for self-care. I need to get myself to bed on time. I'm a grown ass woman. I should know to do that, but easier said than done, right? And it's not just the sleep thing, it's other things as well. And again, easier said than done, but taking care of our bodies, my body, you for your body, that is an important thing. It is. Now I'm not sitting here the pinnacle of fitness, because I do think that in itself is toxic too. As someone who has a a weight, let's say a weight problem, right? I have been plus size my whole life, even as a kid. Uh, I don't think it's just uh like a lack of exercise and whatever that can help, absolutely. I've been there and done that before. I used to love going to the gym basically every night I would go. I don't I hold my hands up, but I am doing other things, I'm taking accountability. I have started doing other things. Uh anyways, it is something I've always been, though, right? And it's part of me. I have to accept it. Again, that's another form of self-care, self-acceptance. And if you are listening and if you have a weight problem, you will know the stigma around it. People just think you're fat, you're lazy, you don't do nothing, you eat all the time. So I've had some nasty comments even recently, uh, well, relatively speaking, about why would I remember this comment sticks in my mind. Why would I listen to you about spiritual stuff? You don't have no control, you can't control yourself going to the fridge. That was something that was said to me once. Babes, this is deeper than going to the fucking fridge. This is my metabolism, it's in my genes, uh, it's it's the way I'm built, right? Even if I could be healthier, I hold my hands up, yes. Uh my body I'll always be big. And I know Eric Cartman, I'm not fat, I'm just big boned. I fucking love Cartman. Absolutely, in a sense, uh, but I have to take accountability for what I can control, so I can only do my best within my remit, and I'm trying, I am trying, and that is about eating healthier foods, making healthier choices, and yes, going out and doing some exercise. I go out for a walk where I can, I have exercise equipment that I'm using. Uh I do what I can where I can, right? And that's on me. But there will be ebbs and flows with that. I'll I'll talk about I'll get really raw with you. I'll talk about that shit in another episode at some point if you want to know. Uh, because I'm sure it'll help someone out there, the whole body image stuff, it's really triggering and it's really it's since being a kid, man, it's been a thing in my whole damn life and in my ancestry. It's a thing. Uh but we have to for our own sake, it's not just a weight thing, it's like our bodies, we can all have different metabolisms and different genetic makeups, right? You can be underweight. Okay. We have to get the right amount of sleep, take vitamins if we need to, eat eat the right sort of foods, do what our body is telling us to do, and I feel like at its core that is spiritual, that is what spirituality is, it's a symbiosis because we only get one body. Yeah, I believe in reincarnation, I do, I believe in all of that, but not everyone does, and that out the window, you'll never come back as you who you are today. You'll never be you again. Like there'll only be one Sarah that lived now, like well, me Sarah, you know, there's a million billion Sarah's, but you know. So I'm never gonna get this chance again. This body is my temple, your body is your temple, regardless of how you feel about it, it is, and we need to start treating it as such, we need to start respecting it as such. There is things about our bodies that we are very insecure about. My weight is one of them, yeah, and but it is what it is. Um I used to get so triggered by that. It's stuff I've been working through, right? But it's not just that. I remember like last year or something on YouTube, people kept saying, Oh, you've got bags under your eyes. It's developed a complex, right? I can't help the way my face is shaped. I can't help the alright the way the light hits. It's part of my features, and I've inherited it from my mother. We've just got this face about us. We've got dark under eyes. I'm getting older. I'm 36. The next big birthday is 40. I'm feeling a bit insecure about that. I'm starting to feel my age. I know some of you out there will go, You're a spring chicken, you're alright. I know, I know, I know. But I'm feeling my mortality and I'm seeing wrinkles round my eyes, you might not be able to see. And I hold my hands up, I've never confessed this yet. Last year I got lip filler for the first time because I was getting insecure about my lips. As well, I've got a thing now. You might notice if you're on YouTube and you can see on video, like my lips are not symmetrical, so I got some filler to try and make it a bit symmetrical, right? I'd never topped it up or anything because lip filler hurts. It bloody knacks Whew and I'm covered in tattoos, but that bloody lip filler, oh my word, and and the numb your mouth up. She she put this nummy cream on and I got I got a mill. Oh the pain and it bruised No, no no no, not for me. Uh if I can avoid it, right? But I did that out of my insecurity and in a sense it was self-care at the time because it made me feel better. And I will never shame anyone for plastic surgery and modifications and whatever. I'm not like that. I understand what it feels like to feel secure about your appear insecure, sorry, about your appearance, right? I'm never gonna shame someone for having a bit Botox or whatever. Uh if it makes you feel better, go for it. Because your body is your temple, you'll never get another body back, and it's better to be happy within it than not. And yeah, we can say on a spiritual level we should do the shadow work around it, we should do that, absolutely. But sometimes we just need a little boost, and I think some people get a bit of an ego about that, so stop putting people down because they've had a bit Botox or whatever. Like it is what it is, but for me it just hurt too much, so I'd rather have a wonky lip. That's that's me, but you know what? I'm starting to embrace the wonky lip, and yeah, I I overline my lips sometimes and whatever right now I haven't. I do love lips. Can you tell? Something about oh a juicy red lip. Yeah. What the hell was that? That's so cringy. Uh it's just I love lipstick. I've inherited that from my mother too. She she always buys a lipstick. I don't know what that's about. Like, we'll be somewhere. She's bought another lipstick. See, I I've never known a woman with so many lipsticks, but then that met me. I have a lot of lipsticks. Anyways, self-care is about loving yourself as well, and that's what all that's about. And that's inside and outside, you know. Knowing at your energy levels, knowing your boundaries, enforcing the boundaries, being hard on yourself is no good, but holding yourself accountable you gotta have to do it. Cruelty be kind in a sense, you know, it's difficult to hold yourself accountable, but who else is gonna do it, right? You gotta do it for your own good. Looking after your body. Your body is your temple. Loving yourself in your body. Making your body feel good as well. It's not just about Botox and filler, it's also like dress the way you want. That's another form of self-care. If you want to walk out the house with pink hair and and I don't know, punk clothes on, punky clothes, you do it babes. You do it. Life is too short. I used to be very self-conscious about stuff like that. Er and I've always had a quirky sense of fashion and I leaned into that, especially in my twenties onward, and now I'm just I don't know, I've I've changed a bit, but I've got nothing against dressing gothic or emo or whatever. I used to be a scene kid. I used to have back hombed hair and coon tails and all of that. I've done it all, you know. If you want to dress like that, still do it. You know, for me, this is the eva I'm in. This is how I feel right now. Sometimes I'll just wear a t-shirt, sometimes whatever. I'm loving the leopard print lately for some reason, and I'm not gonna be shamed for that. Some people in Britain there were call you uh uh there's a character called Cat Slater off EastEnders. She's a right tart. No, she's not well she's meant to be. There's also a woman called Bet Lynch that was on Corrie, if you know you know, and it's there's a stigma around leopard print of being like, oh, you're so common. At least that's an older generation thing. Fuck it, I'm common then. I'm a tart. I'm a I'm a a slut, whatever. And yeah, and I think we need to embrace that more because I've known older people that have gotten to I know it from my family where they're like, I wish I'd done that when I was young, wish I'd experimented more, wish I'd uh push the boundaries more, you know, and just been authentically me instead of shying away. You know there was a time in my life I spoke about it in the London vlog on YouTube. I used to travel a lot, and I I I've realised I've gone back into hermit mode a bit, so the London thing, go check out the video on YouTube if you're interested. That was me pushing those boundaries again. Before I started travelling, I got to a point where I said fuck it, and I really to be honest, I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and I just threw myself into doing it. Sink or swim. That's how I operate though, sometimes I really do. Uh, but then I expect myself to be like the Olympic swimmer straight away, and that's the self-care thing, right? But there was a time in my life where I was so shy and self-conscious, I wouldn't even dare get the train by myself. I didn't even know how to get a train alone. I would go with friends, but I wouldn't know how to do it alone. That's ridiculous, isn't it? I wouldn't know how to find what platform or whatever, and I'd feel too embarrassed to ask somebody for help. That's how painfully shy I used to be once in my life. Uh and this is the thing, I've met many people like that who are like, I wish I'd done more, I you know, I wish I had, and I think self-care at its core is living life to the fullest. That's the truest form of self-care. Now it's not to say you have to go out there and be an overindulgent and being like over the top, don't go put yourself in debt or do risky things or whatever, you know, there's a limit there, and that's another part of self-care, is knowing your limits. So you know what you are capable of and what is a bit too much sometimes, you know. I think I think back to my younger years, and there's times I've maybe been a bit I don't know, I wouldn't say manic, but I don't know what else to put it, where it's like you know, you go on a bender or whatever, and I like you know, I'd have several nights out in a row when I was really younger and still turn up for work, hung over and stuff like that. But that that's that's I know it's part of your youth in a sense, but that's pushing boundaries, pushing limits. That is like I shouldn't be doing that really. But I did. Uh that's just an example I can give, or if you're tiring yourself out trying to do too much all at once, I'm still guilty of that. Trying to take on many projects at once, hence why this podcast kind of got put on the back burner a little bit. Uh because I was biting off more than I can chew. So you have to know your limits because ultimately you can drown. Whether that is in a workplace sense as well, taking on different things. I'm just seeing in my mind like somebody at their desk falling asleep, you know. If you're trying to do too much, if you're working too much, taking on too many responsibilities, and that can be other areas of your life too. Like, I am thinking in my mind there of like people who are struggling financially, for example, because they've taken on too many things that they shouldn't have, like maybe they've bought a car that's above their limit, you know, a car that really is like wiping them out every month to pay it back, or they're going on too many holidays, or they've bought, I don't know, just things that are things that are too expensive for them to to manage, kind of thing. There's a saying that's an old-fashioned one where I'm from, lemonade millionaire and it basically means the type of person that lives beyond their means and that's not to say that you don't deserve nice things, right? But if you're putting yourself in a detriment to have nice things, are the things that nice know? And this is not just material possessions, this is anything. You know, if you're jumping into the deep end on a spiritual path and you haven't quite prepared yourself, and you're sinking, you're drowning, and I've talked about sink or swim, and I'm guilty of this. But that's that's not gonna give you enlightenment, that might just wound you even more. I strongly feel like a lot of this trend coming out of like witches going back to Christianity is exactly that, it is people that are going down a spiritual path, then they're faced with their shadows, and then they shit themselves, and they don't know what to do, and so they run back to what they knew, and it's sad really, and that's not self-care, because in my view, then that's handing over your power to something else, it doesn't have to be Christianity, it could be something else entirely, right? But yeah, that's my view. So ultimately, self-care, in my personal opinion, is more than just face masks face masks and spadays and whatever. It is boundaries, it is self-worth and self-care, self love. It is knowing your limits and your energy. Speaking of energy as well, where are you handing your energy over to? This is something I'm being more mindful of. I am a bugger for scrolling on my phone. I pick up my phone and then uh an hour goes by and I've scrolled and I've wasted energy on what? I cannot even recall. It's short-term dopamine hits, and I can't just blame oh it's all TikTok, because it's not, it's I do it on Instagram, I do it on YouTube as well. Uh I'm trying my hardest to pick up different habits like journaling, hence why this little passion project is part of that, and it's part of the journaling thing because we leave it on a journaling prompt. So I'm trying to pick up something different, and I would suggest like my two cents would be for you to do the same. If you find yourself scrolling on your damn phone, think of other things you could be doing. It doesn't have to be again a competition, even if it's with yourself, like I think about when I was reading books, like I forced myself ages ago to try and get out of a habit, and I was reading fiction books again. I never get time these days, but I even set a competition with myself for that, and I I note a thing on Bookstagram and BookTok and BookTube where people have good reads accounts and they set goals. Oh, I'm gonna read a hundred books this year or whatever. Like I started doing that, and then reading wasn't fun anymore because I was putting a limit on it, I was putting a target on it, and it shouldn't be like that. We all need something that's slow paced, I feel slow paced, and something that we can enjoy just for the sake of it without putting a target on it, and that is hopefully what what this will be for me. This whole project here. Now, in a witchy sense, because this is uncovened. How can we incorporate that into witchcraft? How can we incorporate that into magical practices self-care? Well, many ways. So, your first and foremost thing, spiritual hygiene, keeping on top of that. I'm teaching my people right now that I'm teaching on Patreon. You know, start with your fundamentals, banish, cleanse, protect. You need to know that, right? That's just how I feel. Whatever tradition you're coming from, whatever witchcraft tradition you'll end up in, you need to know how to cleanse away the energy, the residual, and the negative and the stagnant. You need to get rid of it, and you need to know how to protect and promote positivity, okay. And then there's glamour magic, and that can be a whole episode within itself. But glamour magic, yes, you've got your bog, your bog standard, what you think of, you know, feeling good about yourself, your appearance, feeling sexy, feeling like, yeah, you know, yeah, it's a thing. But it's not just about that. Glamour can be about self-love, it can be about raising energy around yourself. You can do some self-healing work as well. Go out into nature, depending where you live, hug a tree. Go be accountable, be aware of what's around you, and in that that's grounding yourself and remaining grounded, I feel, is a witchy form of self-care. Not relying too much as well on your practice, knowing that there's a healthy balance between the mundane and the magical. I know some people who would go to the altar for everything, who would witch about everything. I think I've gone too far the other way sometimes because sometimes I forget, oh yeah, I could do a ritual for that, oh yeah, I could do a little spell for that. So it's about having a balance. That is what I strongly feel, anyways. But to wrap this up as well, I want to ask you what do you think it is? What do you think self-care is? That's my question. And then a follow-up question Do you honestly give yourself enough care? Do you apply what you think self-care is to yourself? Where can you improve? Do you have something that is just for you without putting a competition on it or a target on it? A lot of us probably don't, and I've been guilty of that too, and this is part of something just for me that I yes I'm sharing with you guys, I am. Cause it's just me bloody rambling really in a podcast format. But some of you guys like to listen to it. But for me it's catonic. It is cathanic, it is not cathanic, it is not an underworld deity, Sarah, it's cathartic. See? Words. Yeah, so what is self-care to you and where are you applying that in your life and can you improve on it? Now I just want you to think about that for your own sakes. Don't get too caught up in the noise and stop competing with yourself. Cause who you're gonna who you're gonna win against? You're always gonna win in that sense. Think of it that way. That's a good way to think of it. If there's something you are putting a target on yourself about, what are you doing that for? You're gonna win anyways, because you're competing against yourself, you silly sausage. And with that, we're gonna leave it there. Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed it, if you're on YouTube, like, comment, subscribe, all that stuff. If you're elsewhere, keep following the podcast. And yeah, take care, everybody. Until next time. Bye bye.