Witchcraft, Worth, and the Body You Live In

Dear listener,

Body image and it's relevance in spirituality.

In my opinion, this is something too many people negatively judge others about. And why? Is it truly more spiritual to be 'skinny'?

This episode is one very close to my heart. And one I hope will help you guys with your own self confidence. Your worth and your value is NOT found in your appearance.

Regards

Sarah Sula-Namia x

P.S.

You can find me on YouTube under That Divination Witch

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:05

Hi and welcome to the Uncoven Podcast. I am your host, Sarah Sula Namia, otherwise known as that divination witch. And this podcast is all about sharing a life as an uncovened witch. Yes, I talk about my spirituality, I talk about witchcraft, I talk about my life as an uncovened witch. I get a bit too personal sometimes, but it's all with a good intention. And that intention is not just to help me by offloading like my stuff, it's also to help you guys. We like to end each episode with a journaling prompt, a prompt about life, something you can really think about for yourself. Maybe it will help you with your shadow work. Who knows? Now, today's episode is a sensitive topic, at least for me, but it's going to be empowering. And before I even tried to record it on this take, right? I've tried about five times to start recording this, and I feel like it's some sort of sign at this point. We've had the door ring, we've had the phone ring, we've had the mic F up. We've had it all, but we are persevering. I will be talking about this because it's a topic very close to my heart, and I think it will help some people out there, okay? And it's something that Lilith has helped me with because it's about body image, especially being fat. Yes, I said the word fat. Being a fat witch, a fat woman, a fat person. Spoiler, just because you're fat doesn't make you any less valid than somebody else. Just because you're fat doesn't mean you don't have discipline, and just because you're fat doesn't mean you're ugly, right? I'm not saying these statements to fish for compliments, right? I am not. I when I get open and real about stuff like this, I do tend to get a lot of compliments and like great, okay, you know, I'm thankful for them, but I'm not here to fish for them, I'm here to be real and raw, right? Because I know how it feels even now to be degraded, to be made to feel inadequate because of something you can't inherently help. Because believe it or not, being fat is not always something you can help. It is not a case of hit what Katie Hopkins once said, if you know who she is, uh eat less, move more. That does help, obviously, not dumb, but it's not just a case of that. There are many factors to this, so let's dive into it. What has this been like for me, and how can it this experience help you? And like how can you change as well? Now I'm talking about my experience about being fat, but not everyone's fat. People have the opposite problem, right? I think as human beings, we are programmed, obviously, we're programmed to be communal, we want to fit in, we want to find our tribe, so to speak, we want to be accepted and validated, it's it's wired into us, okay? So anyone that's different in our wiring, we notice it. Anyone that's a bit out of the norm, we notice it, right? And some people, whether they are subconscious about it or conscious about it, they don't even know what the hell they're doing sometimes, and they they pick on others to feel that validation. It's called well, bullying, really. Uh, but I think this is where internet troll culture comes in, lol cow culture, if you know what that is, where people, you know, take the piss out of people online to feel some fucking validation in themselves, to feel some happiness in their own little miserable lives because they're so perfect, right? The thing is, with that mindset, you can do that to anybody, anybody on planet earth. Someone who looks stereotypically beautiful, like I don't know, Kim Kardashian Kardashian's coming to her. I nearly said it in that daft accent. Kim Kardashian. Do you know that meme? There's a woman on TikTok who's she's a makeup influencer and she has a very like Jersey accent. I don't know if it's real or not, actually, but she had a bit of a meme once going, Kim Kardashian. That's my crappy uh impersonation of a Jersey accent, like American Jersey. Not not Jersey, the island that is not part of the UK, actually, it's its own sovereign island, actually. Anyways, Kim Kardashian, she gets shit. You know, everyone gets shit, right? You could be the most perfect looking person, and you'll still have something, and this is the culture we're in. There's still something, there's always something. If someone doesn't like you, they'll find a way. Look at Taylor Swift example as well. It was so uncool to like Taylor Swift for so long, right? What's Taylor Swift done to anyone really? Like you know, there's there's stupid dramas, of course, but now everyone, oh, it's so cool, it's cool to be a Swifty, and well, it was uncool about a decade ago, you know. Uh, and it'll be uncool again, probably. There's always something, right? Oh, she's weird, or she's she's a poser, oh there's no way that one's had success because of whatever, and this is the way we are, it's so fucking reductive, right? Sorry for any swears that slip out because I'm getting passionate. So this is just the way it's always been. Arguably, in my experience, I think it's gotten worse actually with the advance of social media and technology. I think it's gotten worse. I know as an influencer, I hate that word, but what else am I? Content creator, whatever. As someone who's in the public eye, regardless of my appearance, there's always something, I'm always upsetting someone in some way. Uh people uh you know, people project all the time, people are just wild sometimes. Uh the things I've been called over time, some of it would make your toes curl, some of it I just laugh in the face of it. Like, what? And it's not always about my appearance, don't get me wrong. But the reason we're talking about appearance is because in moments like that, people result if they can't argue with you, if they can't debate with you, based on intellect, what do they do? They they pull out the personal insults, they start with the ad hominem remarks. So, oh well, you're fat. You know, I've had that said to me before, uh, all because I disagreed with somebody's take on something. We were having a debate, I mean it wasn't a full disagreement. Uh actually, it was it's a long story, but they started with, oh well, you're fat, you've got no discipline. How can we trust you? You can't trust yourself, go into the fridge. You know, you shouldn't be teaching anyone spiritual stuff because you're fat, basic basically was the sentiment. Well, that person I later found out had a drug problem, smoked, all of this. Now the thing is, I I'm an ex-smoker as well. I know how addictive that is. If you've got an addictive personality, like it's hard to crack a habit, your habits might be invisible, your flaws might be invisible to the naked eye. You know, if you look at someone, you can't tell they're a chain smoker unless you're they're in person and you might notice, I don't know, they might have yellow teeth or something. But you don't know they might have yellow teeth for a genetic condition, you don't know until you you witness it. You don't know if somebody's got a drug problem until it comes out, right? Because there's other reasons why. But being fat for some reason you know people can be fat for many reasons, but it's always you're lazy, you're not disciplined, you eat too much shit, blah blah blah blah. You know, even just yesterday at time of filming this, some random said eat less carbs. Fuck you, fuck off. Who are you, you fucking freak? Like sorry. But it's valid, right? I mean I actually clicked their YouTube and they're they're like some strange person in America that likes hunting and they were tying different rope knots. I'm like, eh, what you're perfect, aren't you? Anyways, this is the thing, so there you go, I've just judged someone back. This is how we are though, right? And it's it's it's doing my head in, it really is, and it's it's a big shadow that I've had to overcome in my own spiritual journey. Now, being fat for me, look, I've always been fat basically. When I was 10, TMI maybe, but I started my periods at 10. I wasn't even a teenager. Uh I remember being in junior school and not understanding what the hell was happening. Like, eh, there's there's blood down there, what the hell? Uh I had boobs before any of my classmates. I was taller, I was broader, I was bigger, and I was fatter, yes. Uh and it really made me feel some like type of way. Like I was a freak of nature, in a sense, is what I felt like subconsciously. Because some of my classmates were still tiny little things. And and I was already going through puberty at such a young age, I didn't even know what puberty was. Now by the time I went to senior school, which is high school, uh I I was more developed than my classmates, and it was like that throughout the earlier years of high school I got really bullied up until about year nine, year ten. Uh girls that I was once friends with back then, I mean this was the early noughties, I left school in 2006, I don't know. Uh but back then there were well, I used to get called lesbian, like it was an insult. I remember this girl, I won't say her name, because when we were adults, I saw her on a night out and she was trying to be like my best mate, sort of thing, and I'm like, You bullied me, fuck you. Uh we were both into heavy metal music, and then she went a bit chabvy, and then she just turned on me, her and these other girls, and she used to like really call me like slurs, like homophobic slurs, dyke. I didn't know what dyke even meant. Like, I mean it's obvious now, but I was like innocent, I really was naive. Uh, I remember asking my mum, like, what's dyke? What's this? And I yeah, I was really bullied, I was very timid, you know. I was because of being like someone who is bigger, even then, I was still bigger, and then all of a sudden they're picking on me because I'm the soft one that is a bit different. So let's pick on her because she's fat, because you know, she's she's different. Let's pick on her, let's disempower her, right? Uh, and then the homophobic stuff. Now, spoiler, I'll do another episode about this, but I actually am bisexual, uh, if I have to label myself. I'm at I'm at a point in my life where I labels don't stick, but for a long time, uh as I was growing up, yes, I realised actually I did like women. Uh my first girlfriend wasn't until I was 16, like in college, uh, which is it's not yeah, look, I won't explain the full ins and outs of college in the UK. That's stories for another time. And for a long time, till my mid-20s, I I said I was lesbian because I've got trauma with men, I've got other trauma. I've been open on YouTube about my traumas, and some of it involves nasty things, let's put it like that, to do with men. Yeah, read between the lines. Uh so for a long time I spoiler, I was gay, right? And they were bullying me for it. Now they that wouldn't fly now, but back then you wouldn't dare come out, at least where I'm from, you wouldn't dare be openly gay in school. Oh my god, you'd be beat up, you'd be yeah, really bullied, you know. So I just was really quiet, you know. I was really quiet just to try and like shrink away. But it wasn't just the kids. I remember this PE teacher, she's a very fucking idiot. She's I think she's still sorry for swearing, but I say that because she was a bully. Uh she probably was look, I don't mean to be redactive myself, being LGBT, but I think she might have been the L in LGBT, she was very manly, and that's fine, you know, but she was nasty. Uh there was one other girl like me who was in the same year as me and lessons, and I remember over here in this teacher when we were doing like laps around the sports field, the hockey field, uh this other girl, sh this PE teacher was saying, 'You've ate too many bacon butties, haven't you?' Like, it was a different time even then. So even the teachers were in on like this this bullying shit. And I hated that woman so much that I used to skip doing PE because of it, not because I didn't like it, but because it was very judgmental. And also in Britain, we have to wear school uniforms in most schools, and we had to wear school uniforms in PE as well. Uh and we had to wear skirts, the girls had to wear skirts. I hated it. I hated it. You felt so vulnerable, these short hockey skirts, these pleated skirts. Uh, and and and like, you know, you fall over, your ass is out, you know, and you're growing up at that awkward time, right? So even that was like weird. Wouldn't wouldn't happen now. Anyways. So why I'm I'm going on that ramble about growing up being in school like that, you know, it's always been a thing. You know, if you're fat, it's obvious. It's obvious you're fat. Let's pick on them. They're a they're a target, they're easy to pick on, right? If you're fat, you don't have any any valid thoughts. You can't be disciplined. Like lately people are saying to me, you can't be disciplined, you're not valued, you're not worth anything, you're just a fat lazy sword. You know, you you sit you sit at the fridge and eat everything. That's how a lot of people would think and still do think. It's not like that at all. I wish it was, because that would be an explanation, and therefore I could just stop doing that, right? No, it is not like that. Some of this I do feel is really built into my genetics. Like I've explained how you know I hit puberty at a young age, and some women do, right? It's in our genetics. It is also a trait that runs in my family, uh which is from well, to be honest, my my dad's mum, I remember her, my nana, she was a big lady too, but all the women in my family, the female line from my mother, my gran, her mother, probably going back, all big ladies, and I do feel, and it's scientifically proven, I'm sure, about how ancestral trauma can affect our genetics. Now, when I've done a bit of my ancestry, uh some of my ancestors were really poor in in recent generations. One lady was in a workhouse, like Oliver Twist shit. So if people were like starving, I'm not saying this is the whole reason why, but if they were starving in the past, that can pass down into your DNA of like let's retain fat, let's retain nutrients because we don't know where the next meal's coming from. I think that's some of it. Another reason is I do have thyroid issues, again, runs in the family, so fat thyroid issues can make it harder to lose weight. Believe it or not, there was a time in my life not that long ago, I used to hammer the gym all the time, and I do love actually I do love exercise, right? Uh if it's interesting, I like a cross-trainer, uh, I like doing hit sessions. Uh I enjoy it. I like swimming. Yeah, I used to go to a brand of gyms called David Lloyd, uh, which was kind of like a mini L Spa, it was really fancy, it wasn't cheap. I can't afford to keep that up at the moment. Uh but yeah I I actually really enjoy it. And the thing is, when I was doing it, I did lose weight. I lost about seven stone. Uh but I was still fat. I was toned, I was more fitter hiccup, sorry, but I was still fat. I might have lost fat and torned up muscle, but I wasn't I was never skinny. I was never like so a women's claws in the UK may be a bit different to the US. So I got myself down to a 16 uh in the UK, which Google it, what that is. That's still like mid-size fat. I am, I don't care, I'm a 20 now. I have been bigger than that. I've been the biggest 24 I was, uh But again, I've never been skinny, I've never ever in my life, even as a kid, I was never like a size even 10, right? As a teenager, I couldn't go to the teenage girls' clothes, I had to buy women's clothes. So again, it's this trauma of feeling like a freak of fucking nature, to be honest. That's how I was made to feel, and then you know, other traumas happened in my life, then the bullying, you know, school kid shit, but that doesn't end, right? And now I'm an adult sitting here thanks to Lilith making a podcast episode about it, right? Because as I got older, when I was more a bit more torned, that was pre-COVID, to be honest. Thanks to COVID and everything, I started piling weight on again, right? I find it hard to lose it now. I am on a diet right now, I am trying to look after my body, I am trying to lose some weight. I do need to, I acknowledge that, but I know I will never fully be skinny, like that's just not me. So I'm not doing it for aesthetic reasons, I'm doing it for health reasons, and I am trying, but I'm also running a business and everything else that comes with it, you know. So it is a balance, right? But no, I don't sit and stuff my face with carbs, I don't sit and stuff my face with crisps and candy and all of that crap. I don't even really eat candy. I was saying it to Lauren, uh my friend, the other day, how I've been eating, uh I've been doing a bit of a keto diet, right? Uh just for health reasons, eating more protein. Protein fills you up, right? And I got these keto chocolate bars for like a treat, a small treat, and they were so sickly. Uh I I I can't do it even if I wanted to. I can't. My bugger is I I do enjoy a pizza sometimes. I do, and I'm trying my best to not eat a fucking pizza. It's the stuff like the tasty meats, deli meats, oh chorizo is the best, chorizo, pepperoni. Yes, yes, yes, we love that. But you've got to think as well, I've got to live like I'm a human and I just can't help the way my body is, right? There's others out there, like my dad, right? He's got a different genetic makeup. I think males generally do. Uh just different genetic genetic genetic makeups, right? He can eat like pies and biscuits. I don't even like pies. You know, he eats all the shit and doesn't have this problem, you know. It's it's it's a thing, right? It's just it's a it's a body type thing, it's a metabolism thing. And I've had some lovely people when I've mentioned it before in the comments in a lovely way, and I appreciate you on on YouTube. You've explained. Me, some different body type things, and I'm I'm looking into it, I am. Uh because I I don't think there's enough help out there with regards to it. I mean, I think another problem with fatness is like the food industry as a whole, which I'm only just becoming more savvy to it myself, like in the modern time. Uh, so like palm oil, for example, I'm very conscious palm oil's in like everything, you know, even Cadbury chocolate in the UK that was like traditional, the best chocolate. It even had a royal seal and everything, and now it's like it tastes like shit, it's full of fat oil wax, and it's all about cost and like everything's about money at the end of the day, right? So I'm very cautious as to what I am eating, and then figuring out about MSGs as well. MSGs are like additives that make things taste better, but also like fill you up, and a lot of fast food has it, and even food you wouldn't realise, and you're like, oh, you know, there's barely anything out there that is natural, and if I got too much into it, I'd be freaking out. I haven't drank cow's milk myself for the longest time. Sometimes, if I'm out and about and I have a coffee, you know, you Starbucks, Costa, whatever, local calf, I'd I I don't have oat milk ones because sometimes, uh at least Costa in the UK, the last few times I had an oat milk one, it was like perfume. I was like, what have you done to it? But in the in the house, I only ever drink oat milk on my cereal. Uh almond milk, I like that too. Sometimes soy, but I've heard bad things about that. And it it's a balance because I stopped drinking the cow milk because of the way the cows are treated and all the shit that the antibiotics and things like that that they're on and uh makes us feel ill. Stuff that goes into that. Not shaming you though, if you do eat meat and drink cow's milk, because I eat meat, I you know, I I I feel like there's gotta be a balance personally with that kind of stuff. Uh I'm not someone who would judge that. If you're a vegan, great, but I have heard about well, the carbon footprint of vegans is not great either. So yeah, I I do think there's gotta be a balance with with that. It's hard to find that balance. But as for being fat and a witch or an occultist, that doesn't mean I'm any less valid. And yes, it was Lilith that helped me see that. So I went through a pathworking called the Cliffoth, which is part of Kabbalah, the dark side, the dark side of Kabbalah. It's actually working through your own personal hell, working through your own shadow realms, your insecurities, and each sphere means different things. And in her sphere, which is represented by the moon, it's called Gamaliel, it's a realm of illusions, right? And it's gonna be different for everyone, but for me, I really worked through body image stuff and stuff to do with feeling beautiful in myself, right? So she helped me see and learn in I'm trying to give you the condensed version because it's a bit too personal, some of it, but attraction isn't always looks, attraction is energy because ultimately our human body is not us, right? When people get hung up on body image, and when people are like transphobes and stuff, which I have been accused of being a turf before myself, which is ridiculous. Uh, as long as you're not hurting anyone, I'm totally fine. Be who you want to be, right? But we are not our bodies, and people fucking forget that. Like, especially spiritual people, we're not our bodies, they're a part of us, they're what is housing us right now, but our soul is more than that. You can have past lives as a male or a female. Like, I've had past lives as a man before. You're not always gonna be the same gender, you're not always gonna be the same race or genetic makeup. So some people believe you're not even a human all the time, right? How do you know? Right? We are more than that, and if you're on any sort of spiritual journey, if you are putting someone else down for their appearance and you're meant to be spiritual, that's not spiritual of you. That's fucking bullshit, actually. Now, I think it gets misconstrued because there are a lot of spiritual practices that the mind and and the body absolutely come together and help you on your spiritual journey, like meditations, exercises, yoga. You know, that's that's an Eastern tradition that a lot of even Western occultists practice, and it's absolutely valid. I do believe our body is our temple, and we do, although we shouldn't shun people, we do need to look after it as best as we can within the remit we're given, okay? That doesn't mean we're always going to be a pinnacle of fitness. Now, of course, in other spiritual cultures and teachings like Buddhism, as an example, you've got your Buddhist monks, you've got people who practice martial arts, and it's a mixed mixture of mind, body, and soul coming together for wholeness and completeness. But the way they do it, it is not redactive, it just is. It's their culture, it's their belief, it's who they are, it's it's their mind, body, soul, all of it. It's detachment, it is ultimate detachment. They wouldn't be sitting on the internet sagging someone off for being fat or looking a certain way or you know, whatever, right? A Buddhist monk wouldn't be doing that. A Buddhist monk wouldn't even be on the internet, they wouldn't care about the material at all, they are so far removed from it all that that isn't even an issue, it doesn't even come onto their radar, they don't even know about it, right? So I do think again, like I mentioned with the diet and and food in general, like there's got to be a balance that the same with spiritual stuff, sorry. Just because somebody might be plus size doesn't mean they don't have value, right? Just because somebody is a white person or a black person or Asian doesn't mean they don't have value in their own paths and own ways, right? There's a lot of judgment online and in the world, and there always has been, and I think there always will be to an extent, two seconds. That was my pet that I was having to nudge off the sofa because he was gonna chew a wire. Thanks for that. Anyways, yes There's a lot of judgment, okay. And if we can take a leaf out of the Buddhist handbook detachment, I feel is the ultimate way. And maybe this podcast episode is is me giving a bit of judgment myself too, because I'm not immune from it either, you know? But true true self-love, true confidence, true attraction is not in your face, in your BBL, in your you know, your your Instagram baddie look, which nothing wrong with that. But true attraction is from within. It's your energy, it's how you hold yourself, how you present yourself. Now, if you look at my YouTube, I've been working on this so hard, and I can even tell the difference now, and I'm actually gonna give myself a little pat on the back because I'm I'm so different than who I was a year ago, two years ago. So different, and I I mirror back energy. If somebody comes to me with disrespect, you hit with it back. I no longer tolerate it, and I've had the projections onto me time and again, and it still happens now. Sorry, again the pet. Let's just chew the rug while Sarah is talking. Stop it. Stop it! Oh stop it, please. Stop it. Don't chew my rug. Don't I'm gonna leave that in, that's funny. Uh I don't show him. I don't show my pet because there's some nasty people out there. Again with the energy, with the protect protec projection, I have to do protection, right? Top tip from me, if you're a witch, don't show all your all your things, all your pets, all your your children, right? There's some nasty people out there, absolutely unhinged people as well. Anyways, there's gotta be a balance with all of this, right? And if you like I was saying, if if you look at my older videos on YouTube, I'm a different woman to who I am now, and I do just project it back. I've if you are gonna meet me with a shit attitude, you're gonna get that back. I don't care who you are. If you are gonna be unhinged and crazy at me, I'm gonna just give you that back to an extent, right? I'm not gonna waste my time and energy on it, and if you want to diminish me because of my appearance, if you want to try and like put me down, then that's on you. That's a reflection of you, you're giving that energy out because why you're you're deeply insecure about yourself? Is that what it is? Yeah, probably. Just remember if you are someone out there who maybe was like an older version of me, like well the old me, the younger me, if you lack confidence because you're afraid of perception, if you are afraid of someone judging your looks or whatever, remember it's a them problem, it's not a you problem. It's hard, it really is. Some of the shit I've been called, I'm not gonna repeat it all because it it doesn't worth airing, but just trust me on it. Some of it is it's like, wow, it's even shocked me. It's not just even about being fat, it's just other other things, other insecurities they'll pick up on and people are unhinged sometimes, really nasty. You can't let it stop you. You can't, and that is what Lilith has taught me. And they've even tried to slag Lilith off recently, like at time of recording, some guy, this creeped me out. You might be watching this. If you are, you're a creep. Because he was saying that I shouldn't Lilith isn't who you think she is, babes, and honey and sweetie and all this, and I'm like, I'm not your honey, I'm not your babes, I'm not your sweetie. Lilith's my mother and I love her, which she is, and I embrace the fact, yeah, she's a demon too, and what you're gonna do. Yeah, I work with demons too, because it's not all what you think. Again, perception, right? The ultimate scapegoats, demons, demons. That's why I get on with them. Uh and then he said, I will go into your mind and I will linger there, and I will be your mother and father figure because you need a father figure. Uh I just fucking vomited. I need some bleach for my eyes, guys. It was like that. I just blocked straight away. But Lilith, she was around me at the time, and she's she is hilarious. The the humour of Lilith. Uh, she went, make a TikTok, like a short, and it's on here too. And put pictures of me and put George Michael's father figure as the song. I was howling, I was creased of laughing, and I did, and it's actually hilarious. Let's trigger all those insecure men. Not all men, uh you know, there's some lovely men that watch this and that I'm friends with as well, but there's you know the type. Let's trigger them all. Lilith's the father figure. Fucking hilarious, yeah. Unhinged, right? Really uh unwell, actually. And I I just don't have time for it anymore. I've pandered to it all my life, all my life. I've been bullied, I've been othered, I've been made to feel less than, and enough's enough, and that's what my spiritual journey is about. Personal empowerment as well. So if you want to call me fat, fucking whatever, and I'm fat, and you're an ugly bastard, so and it might not be your looks, it might be your insides because in the next life maybe you'll come back as a worm, you know. Maybe the you will come back as a worm because that's what you're looking like to me right now, love, and that's my sassiness coming out. I try my best to reserve judgment, I try and hold it in. I do, I do, but I am meeting people with it. Because again, I just think all the years I've just gave you a snippet into my life there, but there's other things in my life where I've I've just gone along with it, I've let people treat me like crap, I've people pleased and people pleased and people pleased. Enough's enough. So this is me saying, Yes, I'm a fat witch. And I'm proud. I'm proud. Doesn't mean I'm perfect, doesn't mean I advocate that being fat is the pinnacle of health. It obviously it isn't, it can put strain on our bodies when we're overweight. It absolutely does. But so does smoking and so does drinking and so does drugs and so does just sitting on your ass all day like a lot of these keyboard warriors, you know. Uh nobody's perfect, right? Remember that. Therefore, let's end this episode on something something to reflect on, but something more positive, right? In a sense. So like I said at the beginning, we like to end this with a question for you guys to think about and maybe do some journaling or whatever. A couple of things. Have you ever been made to feel othered? Like what I've described. Has somebody ever put you down or you you don't feel confident or something like that, right? If so, think about it. Think about one moment at least that that's happened. And think about the person who did it. What were their flaws? I am asking you to think about that. And I feel like that's a very Lilith thing. I feel like she's inspiring this one. What are their flaws? Cause I can think of many from many people. Many. Like the girl that bullied me up until year nine called me lesbian, and so the one we were friends with. She ended up being a bit of a slag. I hate to say it like that, because I don't normally judge, but and she got a bit of a reputation for it. Mm-hmm. And she ended up it's sad on the children, but yeah, she was a single mother of many children. And again, I won't look I don't judge it if you've got a kind heart and you're not meaning it, but you know, just think about it like that. That's what I would say. It's not to to stoop to their level, it's not to start bullying back, but in your case, if there was someone out there in your life that ever made you some like feel some type of way, well what's their flaws? Because I bet you can name many. I bet you can, like I just did there as one example. Everyone's got something, everyone. But the the difference between those of us that don't go in exploiting that, and those of us that have to defend i it's bec it the difference is well, it's the insecurity. They wear it on their sleeve. That's what it is. And so yes, it was Lilith that helped with that. And maybe we'll do an episode all on Lilith because you know what Lilith uh people stereotypically think about her in many ways, and she's not like that at all. You know, she's really helped me so much in my life, and I love her forever. I do. Love her forever. Right. Take care, everyone. Thanks for listening. Stay safe, bye-bye.