May 27--What Happened When I Started To Panic But Decided To Stop and Praise

I was awakened in the wee hours with problems I can't solve, but just before I began to panic, I thought to praise.  More praises from these passages filled up the rest of my day.  2 Samuel 11-12, John 16, Psalm 119:65-80, Proverbs 16:3-4.

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Eve reads her Bible journal aloud on this episode.

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Transcript

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May twenty eighth. What happened the day I started to panic but decided to praise? I won't be reading the scripture references. For those, please check the written post. Problems pounced as soon as I opened my eyes. I felt panic rising, but before it got the best of me, I thought to try praise to avoid its full on attack. It was two hundred thirty seven AM. I've been here before. God, thank you that even with our water issues the roof doesn't leak, that I'm alive, that nothing hurts. Thank you that I'm up early and moving, that I slept well before I didn't, that my hands still work, and so does this computer. Thank you for the rain that I love. I think we're on day umpteen, and for the thunder that reminds me you're as near as it sound. Thank you for my family and the troubles that drive me to you. Thank you that you know what the problems are and you know what to do about them. From our houses' bounces and breaks, leaks and weeds to our family's bounces and breaks, leaks and weeds. Thank you that I can let you slide in beside me on this journey and not have to drive myself. I don't have to go solo. I don't have to worry. Help me hang on to you because you are God and I am not. I'd sure like to feel you beside me. I took a deep cleansing breath, and then another. What I'm about to write next didn't literally happen, but it did happen in my heart, mind, and body. The driver's side door opens, the seat belt buckle latches, the relief of having him behind my wheel again is so very cheery and relaxing. I shouldn't be astonished when God shows up for me like this. With relief I can feel clear down to my feet, but I always am, and when sunshine broke through the pouring rain and poured through our windows, I lifted my hands to him. More reasons to praise came next in today's passages.

2 Samuel 11-12

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The Old Testament chapters are 2 Samuel eleven to twelve. Adultery is tragic, but murder turns it so much darker, doesn't it? That David was able to do either is disappointing enough, but doing both at once makes him a bigger sinner than anybody I personally know or know of. How can David be quote the man after God's own heart end quote with baggage like this? What's even more puzzling is what God doesn't do in dealing with him. He doesn't try to keep David from sinning like this in the first place. He doesn't sit him down for a long list of how could you use afterwards, and he doesn't toss him out as king of Israel and start over with someone else. The restraint of God is remarkable for this simple shepherd boy turned king who sinned seismically. And while the consequences David faces turn out to be tragic, they're not as bad as they could have been. He loses a child, but he doesn't lose all of them. He loses face, but he doesn't lose his kingdom. He loses the future safety of his family and of himself, but he doesn't lose the safety of the people of Israel. He loses God's pleasure in him, but he doesn't lose his relationship with the God who forgives him. All things considered, David's life as king suffers very little, but his family life turns out to be a disaster. His son Amnon rapes his sister Tamar, and another son, Absalom, kills Amnon to avenge her. Then Absalom sleeps with his father's secondary wives out in the open so everybody knows about it. I'm wondering if the word sleeps with is Old Testament code for rapes. Surely David's ten concubines wouldn't have agreed to it. Then Absalom hunts David down to kill him for his crown. Certainly David would rather have war with other nations than within his own family, but he doesn't get a choice, and with fallout this appalling, two questions come up. For one, how did David go from being so right with God to being so wrong? And for two, how could God forgive him for such sins as this and still call him, quote, the man after his own heart? After all, David was the one who defeated Goliath because he'd not only insulted the armies of the living God, he'd insulted God himself. David was the one who waited twenty years for the throne God promised, refusing to take a shortcut and kill Saul when he could. David was the one who brought the Ark of God to Jerusalem and danced so hard for joy that he was not only indignified doing it, he was unashamed of it. He even wrote much of the Psalms for goodness sake. I look back in my Bible and see what Nathan says about his sin, and he said David's sin was treating, quote, the word of God with brazen contempt, end quote, and treating God the very same way. David despised what God's word said, which became despising the God who said it, because what God says and who God is are a match set. David ignored God's word through Moses and the Ten Commandments about not coveting another man's wife, about not having sex with another man's wife, about not taking another man's life. David's sin is progressive, if you'll notice. It leads from sin in his mind and heart to sin in what he actually did. He started with hating what God said and ended with hating God Himself. No one sets out to be an adulterer or murderer. The path to the dark side starts with just one step off God's path of light, a stray thought, a forbidden look, a random feeling. Left unchecked it can take you where you never thought you'd go. I know because I've been there, and it's been a long road back. What starts is something tiny takes root and grows leaves and shoots. It finds its way into all the parts of your heart, soul, and life. Before you know it, you're feeding your very own Audrey too in your very own little shop of horrors with your very own lifeblood. Sin isn't content to stay hidden and tiny. It wants to call the shots and take over the whole shop like Audrey. This is how good and kind King David became adulterous and murderous King David in only ten chapters. How could God forgive something so heinous and say that David is beloved, even someone to emulate? Because when God made David king of Israel, he promised he'd never take away the kingship from David's family. I will quote, establish his line forever, his throne as long as the heavens endure, end quote. And God doesn't make empty promises. Though David's son Solomon will sin even more grievously than his father, and the kingship will be tossed around for generations. God still kept his promise to David when Jesus, King of Kings, was born through David's descendants. And this is the reason God gave grace to David, because Jesus is not only the eternal King of Kings, He's the eternal Savior of every single sinner. Because of his perfect sacrifice, there's more than enough grace for each of us who turns to God and asks for it, including David, the murdering adulterer. David got grace because Jesus didn't. David's great great and so on grandson was belittled, spit upon, beaten up, accused, abused, and crucified so that David would never stop turning in worship to the God who never stopped turning in forgiveness to him. Our sins are not the big problem between us and God. Jesus paid for them. The big problem is our failure to stay in touch with him, and this is why David was the man after God's own heart, I think. He never stopped coming to the Father who was always coming to him. God's kindness to seek and save David like this surprises me, but it shouldn't. Being reconciled to us and giving us more restarts than we can use up is why God sent Jesus in the first place. Want to be a man or woman after God's own heart? Keep turning to Him in repentance and enjoy His great joy over you. The outrageous grace of God gives me another reason to raise my hands and praise Him. The New Testament chapter is John sixteen.

John 16

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The Holy Spirit didn't come until Jesus went back to heaven after his resurrection, but it was better like this, he said. Jesus could only be in one place at a time, but his spirit can indwell every believer on earth at the same time like an ever present buddy, like a constant stream of peace. My peace dream was interrupted by fears in the wee hours. I let them loom larger and more real to me than God was, but when I thanked him for what he does, I remembered who he is, and he grew larger and more real than the things I was afraid of, and that was when he slid in beside me and took the wheel, so to speak. The Spirit's presence is like a river of living water that never stops flowing, as believers were to live in his dream and to listen to what he teaches, to trust that he's with us, to enjoy the fountain that he is. When he was about to leave, Jesus promised his disciples that the friend, who is his Holy Spirit, would come and quote, take you by the hand and guide you into all the truth there is, end quote. When you read the Bible, the Spirit opens it up so that you find things that move and delight you. It can be a feast so rich you feel full when you're finished, even though the troubles I mentioned earlier haven't changed a bit. I already feel, quote, unshakable and assured, deeply at peace, end quote, because of what I've read today. The Holy Spirit is another reason to lift my hands and praise. From Psalm one hundred nineteen sixty five to

Psalm 119:65-80, Prayer, Proverbs 16:3-4

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eighty. The Psalmist says that his troubles turned out all for the best because they forced him to learn from God's textbook. I have to agree. There's nothing like heartache to send me scrambling for help. God's answered me more times than I can tell you through his words in the Bible. But I have to add that it's more than just an instruction manual. It's come through for me like an energy drink, like a mind, heart and soul workout, like a strategy session for my situation, like a walkie talkie to the throne room when my hope ran out, like a spa day in the mountains. The Bible is healing, uplifting, strengthening. The psalmist says it teaches him, quote, to live whole and holy, soul and body, so I can always walk with my head held high, end quote. And if it does this for him, it'll do this for the rest of us. God's desire isn't to beat us down with the words of his holy book. He wants to keep us healthy and well so we can hold our heads up. He does this with his words on the pages of this unassuming, unappreciated textbook. I'm surprised that the Bible can sit on a shelf and under the radar as an ordinary book, while it's nothing less than a well disguised portal that opens to God Himself. Try it for yourself when your troubles pile up, because when you're hurting, the Bible doesn't whisper its comfort. It hollers it. God's holy book holds me up and gives me another reason to lift my heart in praise prayer. God praise pulled me right out of panic this morning. Thank you for your grace, your spirit, and your words that never wear out. I'm overwhelmed by the gifts you give and the strength to use them. In Jesus' name, so be it. From Proverbs 16, 3 to 4. With God in charge of your work, your plans turn out. God made all things for their place and purpose, even the wicked for their place of judgment. Passages in 2 Samuel, John, Psalms, and Proverbs are selected for today in the yearly Bible. This is Eve de Bartalaban, roebuck.