May 31--How To Find Light When Darkness Is Descending

Another night, and I'm up and fighting off panic.  But grabbing my Bible and reading these passages felt like turning on a light in the dark--so comforting, that I wound up in sound sleep afterwards:  2 Samuel 17, John 19:20-42, Psalm 119:129-152, Proverbs 16:11-12.

Click here for the written post of today's episode.

Eve reads her Bible journal aloud on this episode.

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Transcript

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May 31 How to Find Light When Darkness Is Descending I won't be reading the scripture references. For those, please check the written post. I was awakened out of sound sleep again, my fear snarling and yapping. This time it was 1 AM. Wide awake I was afraid for one of our kids, and I couldn't stop worrying enough to fall back to sleep. When panic began rising, I got up and grabbed my Bible. Maybe it would distract me from the fear that stalked me. Maybe I'd find words that reached inside and calmed me. Maybe I'd feel settled enough to fall back to sleep. Maybe all three. I looked for a favorite blanket for my favorite spot downstairs. It was a moonless night and too dark to see without a light, but when I turned on a lamp and sat down, there was my blanket right beside me. It's a simple thing to point out, but sometimes the simplest things are easiest to miss. When the room was dark, I needed a light to find what I was looking for. When my heart was fearful and darkness was descending, I needed a light then too. These passages today don't disappoint. In fact, their light calmed me so much I fell back into sound sleep.

2 Samuel 17

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The Old Testament chapter is Second Samuel seventeen. I thought I had it bad, but David's problems with one of his grown children are way worse than mine. Absalom's not just giving his father cause to worry about his son's well being. David's got real cause to worry about his own well being since this son is actively plotting to kill him. David and those loyal to him, including the rest of his family, officials, and some of the military, fled in the night to save themselves, but Ahithophel, David's widely respected and trusted advisor, wasn't among them. He turned traitor by supporting Absalom. So David sent Husha, his devoted friend, to pretend to defect to Absalom in order to frustrate Ahithophel's counsel. When Ahithophel and Husha gave Absalom opposing advice on how best to defeat David, Absalom preferred Husha's, so Ahithophel killed himself. Ahithophel's death had more to do with losing faith than with regret over betraying David. His afterburn for being sidelined in favor of Husha was a bitter pill. Up until now, Ahithophel had enjoyed his status of being the best of all David's advisors, but when Absalom didn't follow his recommendations, Ahithophel was undone. He couldn't handle the rejection and his loss of reputation. The Bible doesn't say how he felt, but it does say that his suicide was deliberate. He went home, he put his house in order. He hung himself. He couldn't go back to King David at this point, and he's been humiliated by Absalom. In his mind there was no option left. The lengths a person will go to so they don't have to repent shouldn't surprise me, but they always do. It wasn't because Hushe's advice was better that Absalom followed it. It was because God decided to discredit Ahithophel's counsel in order to bring ruin to Absalom. It was God's movement in the situation that swung Absalom and his men to prefer what Hushe said. God is intimately involved in the affairs of human beings. Not only did he handle David's enemies like Absalom and Ahithophel, he handled David's supporters. When David got to Mahaniam, three friends came to him loaded with food supplies and bedding for himself, his household and his army. I feel a real sense of relief in the mood of this story taking place out in the middle of no Amazon anywhere. David feared for his life and the life of his family and men, not to mention the loss of the kingdom that God himself had given him, but David wasn't left to fend for himself because God wasn't out of touch with what was going on with him. He knew what David needed, and he reached out in comfort and provision through three of David's wealthy friends who brought an elaborate amount of necessaries for his emergency situation. God also kept David informed of Absalom's plans through the help of two messengers and a servant girl who risked their lives for him. Is there anything more devastating than having to run for your life from your very own son? But as a result, David learned who was loyal among his people and who wasn't, and David wasn't abandoned because God was behind the scenes coming through for him and each of those who supported him. In the middle of the night, when I was terrified for my grown child's life, this news opened my eyes and ears and helped me believe that God would do good things for my child and for me. He's got me, he's got my child. I can trust the God who brought David everything he needed in his fight to bring me everything I need in my fight too. And when my mind turns again to this issue as it will, I'll remember quote, the beds and blankets, bowls and jugs filled with wheat, barley, flour, roasted grain, beans and lentils, honey and curds and cheese from the flocks and herds, end quote, that God provided through Shobi, Makir, and Barzalay in the middle of the night, because David was far from home and needed them, and I'll be comforted all over again by the God who knows what I need as I worry and wander. God's not distant and hard to reach, he's as near as breath, as close as skin, and even more attentive than I dream him to be. He provides what we need when we need it, and not necessarily beforehand. After writing this post, I lay down and slept another five hours. To find light when darkness is winning, remember who God is, the one who never abandons and the ways he's come through in

John 19:20-42

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the past. The New Testament passage is John nineteen, twenty to forty two. Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus, who'd been fearful believers before, boldly stepped up once Jesus died. Joseph asked to be allowed to take Jesus' body to get it ready for burial, and Nicodemus brought seventy five pounds of spices to help him do it. I love how they had courage, even when their courage came in the eleventh hour, because tending to Jesus meant more to them than saving their own necks. In order to trump the troubles that assail us, Jesus has to get bigger in our hearts and minds than what terrifies us. He's got to become the most important person there is, more important than the fears we're facing and the folks who rattle us. This is certainly true for me in regard to my child's future. It's not that I need to care less about my child, it's that I need to love Jesus more. Focusing on who Jesus is and what he means to me puts my child in their proper place, which is a lesser place, not an ultimate one. This person is not my Jesus. They're not the one who gives me hope and peace. As important as they are to me, they're not my life. Jesus is. But how does Jesus become bigger to me? By choosing to spend time with him, real time in the midst of my real problems, pondering who he is, what he's done, what he says. It helps to remember how he showed up in the past for me and for others whose stories I know. Faith to trust Jesus doesn't just happen, it's a seed that grows as you intentionally care for it, for quote, faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word of God, end quote. There's just no getting around God's word as the key to doing it. Take Mary, who sat at Jesus' feet and listened to what he said. Jesus told her sister Martha that Mary did the quote one thing needed, end quote, that wouldn't be taken away from her, unlike Martha, who was too busy bustling around doing something for him. To find light when darkness is winning, make Jesus and what he says your go to.

Psalm 119:129-152, Prayer, Proverbs 16:11-12

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From Psalm 119, 129 to 152. God breaks open his word so that light shines out, so that ordinary people can quote see the meaning end quote and feel that gotta have feeling internally about them. In a world where there's too much to do, people and tasks and projects we never get to, get off your hamster wheel and focus on the one and only thing that matters. Soak up God's word. But when's a modern person got time to shower, let alone to soak? This is when the psalmist does it. He's quote, up before sunrise, crying for help, hoping for a word from you, end quote. He's even awake all night, sometimes too, quote, prayerfully pondering your promises, end quote. He says they're more vital than food, family and friends, and every other piece of healthy living there is. When I'm tempted to despair like I was this morning because of trouble and distress that come upon me, God's words lifted me up, and then they let me sleep. They were a counseling appointment, a valium, a whiskey shot, a melatonin, and all in a one stop shop in the Bible, which is pure light and delight. God is the one who's closest to me, who knows just what I need, and all his words are true. I can depend on them every time I need them to come through for me. The Bible is easily available to anyone who reads and believes it, and it's free. Nobody else has words like these unless they've got his. Why would you go anywhere else first? To find light when darkness is descending, break open God's words and let their light guide you. Prayer. God, your words strengthen me in my we hour weakness. In all these passages I feel lightened and enlightened, refreshed and encouraged. Help me trust you every moment the way I do in this one right now. In Jesus' name, so be it. From Proverbs 16, 11 to 12. An honest workplace matters because all business is God's business. Good leaders hate evil. Their good leadership depends on right living. The passages in 2 Samuel, John, Psalms, and Proverbs are selected for today in the yearly Bible. This is Eve de Bartelaban Roebuck.