June 18--When You Forget What You Just Learned

Just yesterday, I was profoundly moved by what I read in the Bible, and today, I can't grab hold of it to believe it.  I have to start over again.  Today's passages help me get over the shame of it:  1 Kings 19, Acts 12, Psalm 136, Proverbs 17:12-13.

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Eve reads her Bible journal aloud on this episode.

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Transcript

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June 18 When you forget what you just learned, I won't be reading the scripture references. For those, please check the written post. I woke up discouraged by all that I'm not getting done because I'm writing for this blog. Dishes pile up in the sink, laundry piles up in the chute, weeds pile up higher than the perennials. Our much beloved cousins camp is fast approaching, and the only thing I've done for it is to cancel the t-shirt order I placed after getting the runaround for weeks for reasons I still don't understand. Daughter Josie Love is taken on the challenge to create them herself. There are other unresolved issues I can't write about that snarl and bite too. Yesterday I wrote that having a righteous life is about having, quote, a prayerful, obedient relationship with God. It's also trusting God to help you do it. It isn't about never failing, it's about never failing to repent, end quote. But by this morning, I've forgotten what it means to live like this. I haven't given a thought to what God might have to say to me or how he might help me out. I'm 100% looking to myself, and I'm miserable because of it. If I could plug my leaks, fix my issues, get over myself, and slap my backside so that I'm good to go, I certainly would, but I can't. What I need to learn today is what I just learned yesterday, which is that I'll never get over needing God to help me. Today's passages have been more consoling than I can tell you. See for

! Kings 19

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yourself. The Old Testament chapter is first Kings nineteen. Elijah's forgetfulness is astonishing. After the stunt he and God pulled when he soaked the sacrifice and fire fell from heaven to burn it up, now he's desperate and on the run for his life from Queen Jezebel who wants to kill him. Hadn't he just called on God and witnessed a spectacular display of his power? Hadn't he gotten rid of the people's confusion about who God was and all Baal's prophets in one fell swoop? Hadn't he prayed up a tiny cloud into a driving thunderstorm and then run on his own legs all the way to town ahead of Ahab's horse and chariot? When will Elijah get what's going down? The God who called him as his prophet is very much for him. He's been supporting, leading, guiding, honoring, protecting, and providing for Elijah in miraculous ways all along. But after all Elijah's just done for God and for Israel, now he's being hunted by a queen obsessed with payback. Elijah had her Baal prophets killed after the showdown with the sacrifices, and she's determined to take him out. So Elijah ran, and when he finally reached the desert he crawled under the shade of a broom bush and told God he was done. He was the only prophet of his left, and he'd rather die right there on the spot than have to face one more hard thing, and then he fell asleep. But he was wakened by a nudge from an angel who baked bread and provided water to drink. There were no words of where are you going or what are you doing? Just kindness for this journey he's taking, and after eating he fell back asleep. Again the angel shook him awake to enjoy more sustenance without judgment. The angel encouraged him to eat up because the place where Elijah was going was a long way off, and he'd need all the strength he could take with him. And with this additional kindness, Elijah was on his way again. It took him forty days and nights of walking to get to the mountain where he was going, and all he had in him was just those two meals of bread and water. Here was another extraordinary feat that had God's hands all over it, though it looks more like Elijah was trying to save his own skin rather than trust God to do it. But God didn't pin him down about it. Elijah needed to nap, eat, and drink, and he needed to take this journey as far away from Jezebel as he could get to feel safe. And when he got there, he also needed to meet up again with this god he'd been working so very hard for so very long for, but forgotten. At the mountain God sent three uncontrollable, insatiable things for Elijah to experience hurricane, earthquake, and fire, but God and his words weren't in these, and then God's quote gentle and quiet whisper came to him, asking what he was doing there. Elijah unloaded while God listened. Afterwards God didn't blast him for his unbelief and fear, he simply told Elijah what to do next. It had to feel relieving that for all his effort to save himself he learned all over again that God was the one who had always saved and would keep saving him. Who or what had he to fear? A woman named Jezebel, a hurricane, an earthquake, fire? None of these could touch him without God's okay. It also had to feel relieving to realize that with more work to do, his life was still valuable to God and he'd be protected. So Elijah did everything God directed. He crowned a new king for Israel's enemies, a new king for his own nation, and a new right hand man for his ministry, which had to feel consoling. There was help to be had all around, and it was God who brought it about. Elijah's faith failed, didn't get him booted out of God's service. It grew him deeper in intimacy, in connectedness, in worship. Rather than shame Elijah for forgetting who did the saving, God wrapped him up with food, rest and pillow talks. This is what God does when we trust him with trouble. There's no pain he can't alleviate, no load he can't lighten, no tight spot he can't make roomy. The key to getting through a hard patch is being needy and telling God about it, even if you're on the run and making a mess of things while you do it. God saves me. I can't do it. He met me in his words today, and he'll keep meeting me, reminding me who he is and how he still loves me for as many times as I forget him, and I don't have to beat myself up for needing to be reminded. I just get to wallow in it. Oh the deep, deep love in that still small voice. When you forget what you just learned, unload your heart and listen.

Acts 12

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The New Testament chapter is Acts twelve. The early church weathered a lot of highs and lows. James was murdered by Herod and Peter was arrested. Then Peter was freed, but Herod was killed by an angel. Through all of the ups and downs, Jesus' church still grew, quote, by leaps and bounds, end quote. How so? They looked out for the poor, and they taught others from God's word. Nothing flashy, just the basics. Paul and Barnabas delivered famine relief to Jerusalem, and then they headed back to teach the believers in Antioch. There was a lot going on that could have hindered faith, but the church was thriving, not cowering. The fearlessness they experienced was from the Holy Spirit. Mere men couldn't have pulled off courage like Stephen, Philip, and Peter, but filled with God's spirit, they did it. Trusting God and living by a spirit doesn't happen easily or quickly. It's a thing that starts with baby steps and includes a lot of failure, but eventually it feels natural and becomes your lifeline. It takes time to lean into it, it takes patience and practice, it takes doing the little things like praying, like opening your heart and your Bible, like listening to what God says and doing it. All these are more of the basics. For all the changes through all the ages, this one thing hasn't changed about what our part to do is. We pray and read the Bible, we do good things for others, and God's Spirit does his part to move in us through prayer, through his words on the page, through our service. I know of no better way to have a vibrant, thriving relationship with God than doing these basics. Fearlessness is just one of the perks, and so is intense joy. Part of the reason I keep posting is because the joy of digging around in my Bible beats dishes, laundry, and weeds all day long. When you forget what you just learned, keep plugging away at the basics while you depend on the Holy Spirit to do his work in you and through you.

Psalm 136, Prayer, Proverbs 17:12-13

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From Psalm one hundred thirty six. God's love never stops. God's love lasts forever. It's the one thing I can depend on, which is comforting on a day when I've just forgotten what I learned yesterday. But twenty six times this Psalm reminds me I can always count on God's love, and maybe this is all I really need to remember at the end of the day or at the beginning. If you're like me, sometimes you wake up in the ditch. I like it that the psalmist doesn't say twenty six times that his holiness endures forever, which while true would feel intimidating. He also doesn't say that his majesty never ends, which while also true, would also feel like God was remote and impersonal. And he doesn't say that his knowledge has no bounds, which would feel more like he's AI than the God who has my hairs and tears counted. The writer chose the perfect attribute to go on and on about, for who can get enough of being told they're absolutely, positively, and eternally loved? I can't. And with just this one thing to remember, maybe it will pop up in my mind when I open my eyelids in the morning. When you forget what you just learned, take comfort in the fact that God's love is the main thing to remember because it never quits, even when you do. Prayer. God, I needed to hear you say it twenty six times today. You never stop loving me. I'm guessing I'll never stop needing and loving to hear you say it. Thank you for rescuing me with your words and taking me into joy. In Jesus' name, so be it. From Proverbs 17, 12 to 13. A fool who's determined to be foolish is more dangerous than a mama bear robbed of her cubs. The person who pays back good with evil will find their evil returned to them, gift wrapped. Passages in 1 Kings, Acts, Psalms, and Proverbs are selected for today in the yearly Bible. This is Eve de Bardalaban, roebuck.