July 9--How God Teaches Me To Trust Him

I've learned the most about trust by finding God's comfort in heartache.  But I've also learned about trust by being wowed by circumstances that have no other explanation but that God orchestrated them.  Today's passages point out other ways we can learn to trust:  1 Chronicles 7-8, Acts 27:1-17, Psalm 7, Proverbs 18:22.

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Eve reads her Bible journal aloud on this episode.

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Transcript

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July ninth How God teaches me to trust him I won't be reading the scripture references. For those, please check the written post. He and I have very different views in mind from our back porch. Most of the time our separate visions have dovetailed, but here's the sticky spot that keeps coming up. Hubby wants to see horses grazing in rolling green pastures. I want to see children picking blackberries from a bountiful garden. Our most recent rub between visions came about because of the shrubs I planted years ago for our daughter's garden wedding. They've doubled their predicted five foot height. They tower like behamaths along the back of the garden and block a sweeping view of the pastures beyond them. But they also block blistering late afternoon sun and make the yard feel cozy and cool. What to do? After a mutually blind, deaf and dumb conversation between us, I asked God about it. I wanted a win win on the issue but was dumbfounded how to have it. But a few weeks later I looked at those towering giants and realized I don't like them enough to keep fighting for them. If they're gone, hubby could have his view, and I could plant something else I love. I could see the win win I wanted coming just ahead, like the first rays of light at dawn, and I could feel the joy I would have as it burned up the fiction of losing this argument. This is how God often moves me, not with overt force but by wooing me in my want to. Such a wise father to open me up on an issue I dug my heels into. I have to admit, I like my garden better without those linebackers blocking. I'm learning to go to the God who wins me in my want to with gentleness like this. Today's passages tell more about how I'm learning to trust him.

1 Chronicles 7-8

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The Old Testament chapters are first Chronicles seven to eight. These are not the Hall of Heroes chapters you find in Hebrews. They're a dismal roll call for Israel at the time they're taken away to Babylon, quote, because of their unbelieving and disobedient lives, end quote. In these long lists of name after name, a few folks were remarkable enough for the writer to comment on. Take Ephraim's two sons, Ezar and Eliad, cattle rustlers who stole from their native neighbors and were killed as a result. Their father grieved them so sorely he named his next son Bariah, meaning unlucky as a memorial to them. This would have been a hard name to wear, especially when unlucky had nothing to do with the trouble that came before him. I'm wondering why the obvious gift of another son at such a time as this didn't cause Ephraim to praise God rather than give him another reason to ruminate. But this is what ungodly grieving does. It eats up all the things that could be joyful. I've seen it happen to others. And while it's understandable to grieve, Ephraim lost a third son as a result of being inconsolable. He lost the joy he might have had in this brand new baby boy Bariah. I've had a number of painful losses, and the grief can swallow me alive if I let it. I've had to give those losses to God to find peace with them. God's consolation is real, especially in the loss of family and friends. He redeems other losses like mistakes I've made, and he promises to bring good from them too. But there's one loss that hurts hardest more than all the others combined. How do I trust him with this one big thing? By believing this, that God uses everything for my good, even this, especially this. Believing like this is tough because I have to let go of thinking that I know what's best for me. Instead I have to believe that God knows what's best. He has all the information after all, and he loves me. If I knew what he knows, I'd like to think I'd agree with him about what he's doing, and I'd like to think I might even say bring it. Because here are the alternatives to trusting God with loss, believing he's impotent and can't control what comes into my life, or believing that his promises to protect and care for me are lies, or believing that he isn't good, so he doesn't have my best interests at heart. But these beliefs are more terrifying than simply trusting him. Besides, the Bible flat refuses them. God has the power to turn all the gosh awful things that come to me into something good, something better than I can now imagine, something even better than this thing I think I most want, because the some better thing by far is himself. Only God has the power to break my heart so that I long for him. Only God can turn me upside down and inside out to teach me that the one thing I most want is himself. Only God can do such a remarkable thing with what no longer beckons me, because what I most long for now I find in Him. God teaches me to trust Him with what hurts most, and then He gives me what I most need in Him.

Acts 27:1-17

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The New Testament chapter is Acts twenty seven. An angel appeared to tell Paul the ship he was on would be wrecked in the approaching storm, but everybody on it would survive. At this point in Paul's story, it would be tempting to give up and think all is lost. A shipwreck is serious business after all, but the angel reminded Paul of his calling and said he'd stand before Caesar and testify as planned. And while just that thought could feel as frightening as a shipwreck, Paul found it to be encouraging because it meant he'd keep doing the job God had given him, a job he delighted in. God showed up in the clutch and gave Paul just the relief he needed for the moment. By the way, the ship did wreck and everybody was saved, just as the angel said and just as Paul believed. Learning to trust God includes episodes when you just can't trust, but then you realize what other choice have I got? I can't say how often God has given me the words or help I needed for the moment because it's been too many times to keep track of. Most of the time it's been a verse or passage in the Bible, but sometimes it's been in an extraordinary turn of events with common things, like a bump from a cat and crickets in the wee hours, or an old man's story, or a hillside full of Mayapple. Jesus died to make connection with God possible, but I've often wondered why I get to have a hotline to the throne room as exciting as all this. Maybe it's because Jesus meant what he said. He'd come in and fellowship with whoever opens the door he knocks on, and if you seek him you'll find him, and he'll make himself known to whoever wants him. These are promises I find in my Bible. I believe them because I need them. I also believe them because God keeps on keeping them. There are lots more of them. I'm often overwhelmed like are you kidding? All this hope and help? All these words for me? Maybe it's because I keep reading God's words and talking to him that he keeps showing up for me, or maybe it's not for that reason, because God has kept his promise to be my God even when I haven't read my Bible or talked to him. God's love won't be thwarted by anything I do. This is the God who keeps coming through. God teaches me to trust him through my hunger for him and through my disregard too.

Psalm 7, Prayer, Proverbs 18:22

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From Psalm seven. David is desperate. He's running to God for dear life and away from his tormentors who accuse him falsely. They say he's guilty, but David trusts God's verdict. He knows he's innocent, and he begs God to acquit him publicly. David also knows that life lived God's way makes him fit and safe, quote, made right, kept right, end quote, because God is on his side against the bad guys. Trouble boomerangs on the troublemaker, but those who live for God find themselves singing God's fame because God makes things right for them. David trusts God to rescue him even before God does it. He has confidence that he will keep his word to be God for him, even while his enemies set their traps to catch him. This isn't naive confidence. It's what faith in our capable, available God looks like. It's the superpower he gives us to let go of what every other person thinks or does against us except for him. God teaches me to trust in him alone as my hiding place. Prayer. God, thank you for reaching down and teaching me to trust you with all the circumstances of my life, both good and hard. Thank you for loving me enough to break my heart so that I run to you because I wouldn't come otherwise. In Jesus' name, so be it. From Proverbs 1822. A good spouse means a good life, and both are a gift from God. Note there are links to the cat, crickets, old man's, and mayapple stories at the end of this written post. Passages from 1 Chronicles, Acts, Psalms, and Proverbs are selected for today in the yearly Bible. This is Eve de Bartleaban, Roebuck.