Why Female Veterans Need Their Own Spaces

James and Suzy Willis discuss some of the challenges women veteran face during the transition period from the Armed Forces to Civilian life and how difficult it can be for a female veteran to find a group or organization that they feel safe with or most importantly feel heard and appreciated. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_09 0:01

Warning. This podcast and live media series discusses mental health, traumatic loss, and suicide, which can be heavy and triggering topics. Here is in the Sky Foundation, Nautical Salute, WalkforVets.org, and Combat Kitchen. And all the guests on this show and its co-host are not licensed mental health professionals, and nothing you hear should be taking as medical, counseling, or legal advice. We are sharing stories, education, and lived experiences for awareness and peer support only. If you or someone you love is in crisis or thinking about suicide, please do not wait. In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or dial 911 if there is an immediate emergency. If you are listening outside the U.S., please contact your local emergency number or suicide prevention hotline right away. You are not alone. Help is available and your life matters. The views and opinions expressed by guests on this program are solely their own and do not necessarily reflect the official policy, position, or beliefs of Heroes in the Sky Foundation or Nautical Salute. This content is provided for informational and educational purposes only and is intended to foster open dialogue and understanding. We would like to thank our sponsors, American Legion Post 135 in Savannah, Georgia. American Legion Post 135 is located in historic downtown Savannah at 1108 Bull Street. They are a member of the largest veteran service organization in the nation. They were founded on the principles of service to our veterans, to our community, state, and nation. Their membership is open to any veteran who has served honorably and to active duty service members. They are home to the local 1110, Betty Bombers, Brighter Day, Centennial Bean, and Lee Chai, and their bar is open to the public. They hold several events in their ballroom each year that are open to the public, and the ballroom is available to rent. So if you're interested in renting that space, just go down there and talk to the American Legion Post 135 and tell them your friends Heroes in the Sky sent you. Thank you for joining the Heroes in the Sky podcast. We're glad you're here.

SPEAKER_08 5:04

But if you just look at a 45-degree angle, instead of looking straight up, taking one step at a time, keeping your same pace, not worrying about what's going on to your left or your right. I promise you, you'll be there before you know it. Hey, we're on day what? It's six.

SPEAKER_00 5:43

Oh, but I didn't scare you away.

SPEAKER_09 5:45

Oh no. That's hard to do. That's extremely hard to do. But thank you. Yeah, absolutely. Glad to have you back. And so before we get started, I do want to read like a little hello, welcome in Philomena. A legal disclaimer because we do want to make sure we put put let everybody know that this podcast live media series discusses mental health, traumatic loss, and suicide, which can be heavy and triggering topics. You did see that in the intro videos. Here is in the Sky Foundation, Nautical Saloop, Walkforvetts.org, Combat Kitchen, and the participants of this show, its co-host, are not licensed mental health professionals. And nothing you hear here should be taken as medical counseling or legal advice. We are only sharing stories, education, and lived experiences for awareness and support only. If you or someone you love is in crisis or thinking about suicide, please do not wait. If you are in the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the suicide and crisis lifeline or dial 911 if there's an immediate emergency. If you're listening outside the U.S., please contact your local emergency numbers or suicide prevention hotline right away. You are not alone, and help is available in your life matters. So we'll get started with our sponsors, and then we're going to get into a really exciting episode tonight with some topics that that we don't that you don't hear talked about a lot, so I'm kind of excited to dive deeper into this with you. So we want to thank our sponsors, the American Legion Post 135 and Savannah. They are our title sponsors this year. American Legion Post 135 is located in historic downtown Savannah at 1108 Bull Street. They are a member of the largest veteran service organization in the nation. And they were founded on the principles of service to our veterans and to our community state and nation. Their membership is open to any veteran who has served honorably and to active duty service members. They are home to the local 1110 Betty Bombers Brighter Day, Centennial Bean and Lee Chai, and their bars open to the public. The best part about this is if you are in or near the Savannah area or you plan to travel here and you need a public event space, contact our friends at the American Legion. Tell them here is in the sky, since you is a fantastic space. So thank you, Susie, for being here. We have a wonderful title tonight, Why Women Veterans Need Their Own Spaces. And I think we barely barely touched on this the last few weeks with the special episodes. And we really thought it was really important to bring you back in and so we could discuss some of these issues even further.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Well, thank you for having me back. I really appreciate it, and I really appreciate what y'all do. We need to be having the conversations no matter how uncomfortable they might be sometimes, as well as you know, folks who just need to be listening. You know, a lot of times we don't want to hear hear the truth or hear the negative side of things. And but we need to hear it and then we need to share it as well. So I appreciate you doing this. And again, you know, inviting me back to to speak. So yeah, I'm excited about this episode.

SPEAKER_09 9:14

Absolutely. Maybe we can change the camera angle real quick since we've got only us. So yeah, we're we're gonna touch on these topics tonight. And so today's conversation we feel is overdue. We feel that it's it's not spoken about enough, that these conversations they need to go deeper. People need to hear what you have to say and what a lot many other women veterans have to say about their time and service, the challenges you faced, and and what some of those challenges look like after you separated. And so, you know, why do women veterans need a space of their own? Let's just start with that. Let's, you know, we'll start with the basic principles.

SPEAKER_00 9:59

Right. Well, everybody needs to find their community, find their people, have their own space. Everybody needs to do this. Obviously, we're just speaking about women veterans today, but all veterans need to find their space, their community, and you know what that looks like for them. And what's great is that there are a lot of organizations and Facebook groups and other groups to choose from. So you can, it's like trying on choose. You've got to find what fits for you. Because I do know that there are some women veterans that have no interest in being part of our group, they want to be with their male counterparts, and I completely understand that. You have to find where you're comfortable with, what works for you. If I wanted to find a group with other women veterans where I could talk to and share what I'm thinking and feeling and what I went through, because I can't do that with my male kind of counterparts. They're wonderful, the guys are wonderful, but I wanted something a little bit more, I guess, intimate and somebody who, you know, went through a similar experience. That being said, is you know, when I got out of the military, there was nothing. I didn't know anything. I didn't hear of any group. I was just, it was like crickets. I was with the Georgia Air National Guard and you know, went through the, I don't even remember out processing. I really don't remember what that was like. But I just remember there was I guess I was expecting this is not the right word, fanfare. Not the right, but I expected something because it was such a big deal to join the military and to be in the military. I kind of thought there was going to be a bookend to that. There was going to be something about getting out and kind of like, oh, you got these options. And I didn't know of any options. I didn't know what was out there. And and either I feel like I asked people, and either people did not know or chose not to share. But the one common thing is the American Legion. And no offense to the Legion, is that when I think about the American Legion then, obviously I know more about it now, but then I'm thinking, that's like for my dad. You know, that's not for one me, a female, but but for young people, to me, that's my dad, my grandpa, or something. It was just, I didn't think it was like a young person's organization. But like I said, that's just not knowing the American Legion, also. So it took a while of like researching and looking and finding out and whatever to try to find somebody. And I'd have to do the math, but it took a number of years before I found this Facebook group, you know, and then we started getting together, and then now we're here, you know, with the women veterans of the coastal empire. But it's what is this 2026? And I got out in 2010. So we're talking about 16 years of just kind of being lost. And you know, but like I said, I'm, you know, I just really wanted to find my my people where I can talk to and my girlfriends, and we can kind of like joke about, you know, my boots not fitting and my clothes not fitting because it was all like made for men. You know, my steel-toed boots that I wore in combat were men's shoes. And I have, yes, I have long feet, but I got narrow feet. So now I have feet problems because I never had women's shoes. But to share those stories and to other women's like, yeah, this is what I went through, what was going on. So I missed that. But again, when I found my group and I started hearing all the different stories, oh my, oh my God, the things that were going on. And that also motivated me thinking, okay, I want to help. How can I help my women vets who are out? But how can we help the women who are going into the military or who are in the military? How can we make things better? Because I saw a lot of issues, heard a lot of issues, experienced a lot of issues. And but going back to finding your community, you know, the guys are great. Y'all are problem solvers. That's you, you're fixers. But sometimes there's things that you can't fix and needs to be are, you know what I'm saying? It's just there's a woman that kind of needs to be involved as well, fixing a lot of these women-centric issues.

SPEAKER_09 15:04

Yeah, they they and a lot, some of these issues are central to women veterans. But I think one of the biggest and one of the important things we're talking about here, it's not only about understanding it's it's not only about understanding like what happened before you separated or after you separated, right? It's more of recognizing the fact, and I think you just said this, that not all service service experiences are going to be the same. So your your your experiences during your time of service may be completely different than another female veteran's time of service. But the but you've created a common ground and common space with with your organization. And so now with the women veterans of the coastal empire, the way we kind of look at it now is you've given these other women veterans that maybe feel like they don't belong at pla you know, certain places are you know there this is somewhere where they can all come and you just feel like they feel like they belong there, they feel like they have a purpose, and that that continued purpose allows them to continue to serve because that's what you're doing essentially. Yeah, you you took the uniform off, and and and a majority of the women in your organization did, but they didn't let it stop there. You know, they wanted to continue serving after their separation, they wanted to make the quality of life better for other women veterans, and I think that I think that's that's very important to note here. And I think a lot of women veterans are going to appreciate what you're doing, and not only the ones that you have in your ranks now, but the the ones that will join your ranks in the future.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Yes, and I'll tell you this, I am so proud of our organization and the women that are in there because we have some incredible, incredible ladies, and they do all want to help. They want to volunteer in the community, they want to get together, they want to help, you know, other women veterans. And what's wonderful is that we really have, you know, array of ladies in there who have gone through an array of experiences. So, like when I was in the military, you know, most of the time, you know, most of my military experience, I was not married, I don't have kids, I was not a caregiver, but we do have ladies that were married, that were our moms and caregivers, or they were all of that at the same time, or they had different experiences. So, you know, if I can't speak on having a child and being in the military, but we have a lot of ladies who can. And but that's so what's great about finding your community, because you can find somebody in there that knows what you're going through or what you went through. And like I said, it's not always the case in other groups. So, and we do have ladies in our group that are also members of other organizations, and I think that's fantastic. You whatever you can find your community and what fills those gaps, those needs, I think it's wonderful to do. And that's our big one of our goal, one of our many goals is to fill the gaps. And there right now there are a lot of gaps, especially with women's health. There's a lot of gaps to fill. So that's what we're our focus is on moving forward.

SPEAKER_09 18:42

Yeah, and absolutely. And, you know, we're talking about non-traditional groups or non-traditional veteran environments where where the traditional veteran environments are good for a lot of people. You know, a lot of people will fall into those and and and feel like they have a place, but then certain challenges, certain demographics are going to present different issues for different people. And you have it set now with with your organization where if a female veteran is in or has those issues, you are your group and your your members of your group are well are well more or are well organized enough. What I guess I'm trying to say is to answer those questions for them where a male veteran cannot, or a a male central veteran group, that you you're gonna have better answers for those female warriors because you under you understand the personal challenges of wearing the uniform, having that identity while you were in, and then and then partially losing some of your identity, kind of you spoke when you get out got out. It was it wasn't what you expected, you know. You didn't get that homecoming as you expected when you took the uniform off. And you you you can now relay that to these female veterans who are in, who are about to get out, or those who are still serving, and maybe give them a more defined purpose.

SPEAKER_00 20:16

Yes, and that is really like said, on the list of things that we want to accomplish with our group, that's one of the things we're like, how what does that look like? How can we help? Because recently, you know, I was, you know, in Atlanta, you know, with a group, and and we were talking about that, and we had active duty people, ladies there, and they're like, every time I think about getting out, I start to see what try to figure out what that looks like. I don't see anything that I feel like I can fit into, so I continue to stay in. And and part of it was brought up, and this was brought up actually by an army recruiter female, is that the outprocessing part of it, which I guess for them takes about a year or so, is that lacking. And I don't know about this. Maybe somebody else we can find somebody else to speak on it better than I can. But they said it is a little bit different when it comes to the women veterans out processing compared to a male. And I'm like, well, how is that possible? Because it's we'll just speak on the army. Like, why would outprocessing or you know, transitioning out be different for a female than a male? Like, I don't I don't get that. But you know, like I said, I don't know. And and you could probably know about this that about how the suicide rate changes for females once they get out, and what is happening. What are we missing? What can we do before they get out to help with that? Yeah. So we'll pass that on to you if you have something to say.

SPEAKER_09 22:14

We've spoken about that prior, about the one of the things about the suicide rate that isn't gender specific is the first 12 months are to th it's like the first up to two or two years or something is when you have the highest rate for any veteran for elevated suicide risk. That's just because you it's it's an immediate loss of purpose. Like I said, you don't know where you're going. You, you know, you're kind of you you had all this specific structure and definition while you were in, and then that's just ripped away from you. So it's it's just really difficult to maintain that and a positive mental health and well-being when all everything you've known is pulled from under your feet. So that that's what the biggest one of the things that I will tell you is that's why groups like yours, organizations like yours and others that are coming in and giving these veterans purpose in that window. Because that window where they have the elevated risk, this you have a group like yours, now the women's of women veterans of coastal empire can come in for a female veteran and give them some purpose within that window. And so maybe we do lower some suicide rates. But but it's so su the suicide rates with women is it is challenging and it's it's and it is a little different than males, but as a as a female veteran, you are 92 to 95 percent more likely to die by suicide than your female counterpart. And you are more likely to use a firearm or some kind of more lethal means. And so where the correlation is with I this is something I'd like to know now with like the the differences between if when a when a female veteran outprocesses and how that correlates the challenges it presents and what that correlates to their suicide rate would be an interesting study. And I'd like to know specific what the differences, like what is different than what as a male veteran, when I outprocessed, what are the exact differences, or what are some of the specific differences that you as a female veteran had to do that I didn't? Or what what just what where's the distinction?

SPEAKER_00 24:39

So I agree with that because my question would be, and like I said, I don't know how you could figure this out, is to separate it by the single, you know, females that are getting out, not married, no children, not a caregiver, you know, compared to the females that are single with children, that are the females that are caregivers, you know, or with the children and a caregiver, married or single, is to kind of see what the correlation is, because you know, as somebody who is, you know, no children, not a full-time caregiver, you know, I am married, but it seems to me that the level of that, the pressure and the stress, she doesn't have time to focus on herself. And I say, as a woman thing, we've had this conversation, the ladies and I, a number of times, is that we're also raised that we're not supposed to put ourselves first. We're supposed to be the wife, we're supposed to be the mother, we're supposed to be the care for, we're supposed to take care of everybody else, you know, and not ourselves. So that's kind of even ingrained before the military. And, you know, is that she is putting, you know, all these other people's needs first. Her needs are not being met, you know, um, especially what she has experienced in the military, what she's experiencing, you know, getting out of the military, you know, what's next for her, paying the bills, you know, finding that community. That's something that's for her. You know, are those needs not getting met? And so as she starts to implode.

SPEAKER_09 26:26

I think overall there is a gap in in any of the ranks when it comes to identifying the the service members who are not who you who who you are not retaining. So, you know, your retention NCOs know who's not getting, know who's not staying in six months out. They know who's not re-enlisting, they know those demographics kind of like you're talking about. Are they married? Are they single? Do they have kids? And so when you start talking about like the caregiver aspect and putting yourself putting yourself last because that's what's expected of you, we need to start focusing more on programs and resources for those, for any veteran getting out, but especially for the women veterans getting out in that most vulnerable time. Because that that time when you first get out is when you really have to find who you are. That's your identity. Who who am I as a who am I as a a wife? Who am I as a mother? Who am I as a person, right? But I don't think we're not doing enough to identify any of these demographics that we could be helping. Because I don't I just don't think chain of commands want to put that much effort and energy into it. I don't know, and that's just my opinion on it.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

Like, because well, I agree with you. I agree with you. Yeah, it's not in the it's not in the SOP. No, no, standing operating procedure, it's not in there, you know, about importance of self-care, you know, and having these things in place, you know, 24-7, but then also, you know, transitioning out, you know. And so again, back to with our group, that's one of the things that we want to do. Like, you know, we have these ideas, is the how to implement them is has become a challenge because we would love to be out at the bases or the posts and just say, hey, we exist. Here we are. You know, you don't have to be out of the military to kind of join our group. We have folks that are still in who come and meet us for we meet at least once a month for lunch, somewhere in the savannah from we could meet from Port Wentworth to Sylvania down to Brunswick. That's our range, you know, of meeting. And just come for come for lunch. We always on our website on the events page, have it listed out. What are we doing? You know, where we're meeting for lunch, if we're at an event, something like that. And so we always push, go to the website and come join us. You know, come join us, come show up because we just want, you know, folks to know that we're we are here, we exist, you know, and I I'm not gonna use my normal vocabulary because I'm this I'm gonna say this is rated PG in a sense, but we have two rules in our group, not to be a jerk and not to act like a jerk.

SPEAKER_07 29:30

Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Those are not exact the exact words, but you know, but everybody gets along in our group. And and that's what's important. Everybody's heard, everybody gets a chance to speak, everybody gets a chance to listen. And sometimes it's hard to listen. We have a lot to say, but but again, we just one of the things in our group we want to do is to have a place where women veterans feel welcome, to feel comfortable and to either come hang out, you can just sit there and not say a word, or you can come and just you know be involved. And that's in hopes of for them to find that community. Or maybe within our group, speak to somebody and find a community that works for them. They don't, you know, I'm not gonna get my feelings hurt. I mean, maybe just attach. But if they don't, and they're like, well, this is what I want, but this is this group is not what I want. That's certainly fine. I would love that's how we can help you find your people. Because between all of us, we know a group, we know different things that are out there, thank you know, thanks to the internet and all. But we need to change this because really that's kind of got what got me started is when I was learning more about the suicide rate. Oh, actually, short story, really quick. When I was in the Air Force, I had to teach a suicide awareness class. That was so awful, so embarrassing. The stuff that they Air Force put together, it was just terrible. It was absolutely terrible. I'm like, this is it, this is what we have. This has to be redone. It was just a joke, a joke. And so I always wanted to do something different. I wanted always to make more of an impact and to help. And I think, you know, love that you guys are doing this and that you exist, and we have a number of organizations, but I've always wanted to do something, and that's why if you have a community, you know, maybe we can help with that, help prevent that.

SPEAKER_09 31:44

Right. Yeah, and it is about community and it's about quality education. It's we the the example I always use is when we started this awareness for suicide, everyone used the number 22 a day, 22 a day. They even created a national moniker for 22 a day. And that was awesome in the beginning to to start beginning awareness for the studies and to look at what was really happening within our ranks. But then you start to realize that that's just a moniker now that it's actually 44 a day, or the numbers are are underreported, and there's so many other factors that go into these suicide rates. But like you said, if you know that active chain of command is probably not going to want to put the most recent suicide rates out, or you know, some of the factors that go into why the why the rates are climbing versus you know dropping. And so it's because that made that's accountability that people probably don't want to talk about. And if if you were questioning that however many years ago they wanted you to teach a class, can you imagine how much the statistics and information has changed with all the studies that have been done on veteran suicide since then that people just don't know about or we're not we're not circulating it enough. And that's why it's important for us that we do our nationwide travel. And I like to say that when we travel with these battle vests, like you can kind of see in the back, and we dedicate them. People always love to hear the they love to hear the remembrance part. They love to hear, oh, you're remembering all these warriors. The part that people don't want to hear is when I start talking about the different suicide populations that are affected. So we break it down from women veterans to veterans to corrections officers to police officers to firefighters because everyone should not fall under a one blanket because there's so many different factors for every population. And that's what I really like about our education program. And I like the fact that now I'm seeing more and more organizations using 44 a day, and they're starting to use the studies that show the real numbers, not the ones that are manipulated, not the ones that are under-reported, not the ones people people don't want to talk about. You know, people want to they don't want to acknowledge the fact that these numbers are doubling and the reasons they're going up. So, but a lot of organizations these days, because of awareness like this, because of conversations like this, we're getting somewhere finally. And I it's it's important, it really is important, you know?

SPEAKER_00 34:43

Yeah, and having these and having these podcasts are great because it's more, it's you know, like you and I talking. It's you know, um it's more on a friendly level. And but you know, we we are not restricted because we're with some organization or with some government organization. We're restricted to what we can and cannot say, and because it's ridiculous. This is you know, those numbers 22 a day was bad enough, you know, but to have it even more than that, double that, it's it's ridiculous. And you know, like what what what is happening and how we can change that, you know, and that's something like I said, we want, you know, to do, but if we're restricted to talking about it and these larger organizations only stick with 22 or whatever, this is part of the problem.

SPEAKER_09 35:46

Yeah. And we've had that where we've had certain guests on and those organizations didn't like that, or it it made it all the way to the top of some of these organizations. And I I say that it's um that's not a good thing because you know you never want anyone to face criticism for just telling their story and and feeling like they can open up. But on the on the other side of this, we are getting some kind of exposure at high levels of some of these admins. Because if they're hearing that and saying something about it, then I mean we're reaching people's ears. And that's the way I that's the way I look at it is how many people can we reach? How many people now, how we reach these certain people, to me, if I reach it through it's something you want to hear, or it could be, well, I don't like hearing that, it's uncomfortable, but I know it's true. I don't it to me, it doesn't matter how you hear it, because not everyone's gonna like what you hear. We do we do ceremonies, we do live events where at least one or two people at every live event will come up to me and tell me, you did a fantastic job with the education and the and the information. I just didn't like the ceremony because it's uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_00 37:05

But it has nothing to do with you, it's it with it's with them.

SPEAKER_09 37:09

Yep, it's with the material. It's with the material, and it's they were uncomfortable listening to it, learning the real truths about the problems we're having with with suicide within our veteran first responder in those ranks, and why we're just not why are we now having these podcasts diving into these difficult numbers? Why are we now willing to ruffle feathers and and and talk about this more when we should have been doing this years ago? Because this we have, I mean, even if you use 22, that's 22 way, just you know, one's too many. But when we start talking about the real numbers and why, and then what kind of pushes some of these rates, it it really is dis disheartening. And it it shows the need for organizations like yours and all these other organizations to come in and make a difference. Like we need, you know, we need this, and it's it's not gonna get easier. And my my lights are blinking because we're about to hit a storm, so if we lose power, I apologize to everybody. But it's about the storm, but yeah. But no, it's we've waited too long to talk about it, and we waited till the numbers have almost doubled, and we're and we haven't we could have been putting so much more energy and effort into some of the in some of these programs that actually work, and camaraderie programs. Like you you mentioned it earlier. How many let me ask you a question? In your time since you've been out, how many times have you seen a career fair or a job fair on a military installation? It happens quite more than you think. Like they I see them at least to once once or twice a month for Stewart or Hunter or whatever. My question is if you can put energy into that and you can bring in possible employers to help these veterans out that are getting out, why can't you identify the mental health resources they need? Why can't you have like a program? Oh, hey, that this this organization is called Women Veterans of the Coastal Empire. This is how you get a hold of them. You know, this is how you email them, call them before you get out. Give these warriors the resources before they have to make the decisions on their own. Because I think you and I have had a conversation about this. But when you're in the military, people take for granted the small decisions that you don't know how to make on your own because you've never had to make them. You don't understand how to file your own taxes, you know, because someone on post has already always done it for you. You don't understand how to do the little things that you were, the the little small, subtle things that you were you were given specific direction in the military, and they told you how to do them, they told you what to wear, what uniform, what time to be there, what you were supposed to do. And now you are faced with this daunting task of I have no no one telling me where to be. I don't, I don't know where, you know, you don't know what what the civilian sector is going to give you. And you know, we can prepare these warriors. Like they're trying to prepare them to get a job. Why can't we prepare them for give them mental health resources to give them camaraderie resources? Why can't we introduce them to have why can't you come in to a career fair or a class that that with a group of people getting out and introduce yourself so they know about you before they take the uniform off? Why aren't we doing I agree? What are where it it doesn't, it's not like it's a it's logistically it's a hard challenge because I I know you, and if someone reached out to you and said, Hey, I've got women veterans that are getting out. Can you come in and talk to them and see if give them some purpose and see and try to help them? Who would say no to that?

SPEAKER_00 41:28

Like, well, I was just recently asking that question, and I was told is that they don't want you know, these individuals to be out processing, and to have us on the base, you know, would be like encouraging them. I'm like, that's like the strangest thing to me. Is that we're not gonna be on base like, hey, let's tell you all the good reasons to get out of the military. We're not doing that, you know. We're just saying, hey, listen, we're if you're in, if you're out, whatever's happen, what you're doing, we're just an organization that we get together for lunch, we volunteer in the community, we have other activities, and we always want to do fun things together. That's it. It's mainly because I have a wellness background, I'm thinking on that aspect, on the wellness, the part of being in the community, having that. So, and I this is this is a strange conversation, but nobody can tell me why we can't get onto one of the and onto Fort Stewart or onto Hunter, you know. Yeah, you know, it's just I don't, like I said, I don't understand.

SPEAKER_09 42:40

Well, the problem here is the the the logic doesn't make sense to me. And this is why. You're not talking to a group of people who are who are you they are retaining. I'm saying you identify those warriors who are who are who who are getting out. You give them a chance during that however long it takes them to out process, you give them a free slot in there to say, hey, if you are free on this day, this organization's gonna be here and they're gonna tell you what they offer. You're not hurting the ranks. You're gonna you're going to lose these warriors already. They are out processing, they are not staying in. So, what does it hurt to give you the opportunity to be there and show them that there there is a purpose for them when they when they take the uniform off? What that's that's just selfish when I think about it. I it doesn't it make it doesn't make any sense. I agree. Any sense.

SPEAKER_00 43:38

I agree, I agree. I just like I said, I don't understand either because like I said, I've heard from other people that they've had almost this join another group that was contra already contracted to get onto the base and almost disguise themselves as you know, someone like, hey, we get there's this great program, like Georgia Southern has this great. Great program if you want to start a business. You know, there's this other group, and but you have to almost disguise yourself to get on base and say, oh, by the way, you know, there's this women veterans group here in the coastal empire. I'm like, that's the craziest shit. I mean, honestly, yeah.

SPEAKER_09 44:20

But they are preparing them, they're teaching them how to write a resume. They're trying to, they're they're trying to prepare them professionally, but they're not trying to prepare them mentally. Or what are they, what are they to expect? So can you just think about the guidance that a group like yours or any or even Heroes in the Sky or anyone coming in that's got that genuine intention, they could come in there and they could show them that there is a direction, there is a purpose when you take the uniform off. This is this is a list of of mental health providers that take TRICARE if you have TRICARE. This is a list of mental health providers who take chant VA if you're gonna have chant VA. This is a list of providers that you can take your family to if your wife or your your partner is having a hard time adjusting to your separation. You know, these groups, the groups exist. They're they're they're within right, they're they're surrounding these military installations. They're we're they're everywhere, but we're not bringing them on. We're not giving these warriors who fought for this country, but then you train them how to be a warrior, but then you're not gonna you're not gonna show them that that transition from a warrior to a civilian. And I think that's where we're failing people. Because definitely we are we are significantly failing our warriors in that way. So we're gonna take a quick commercial break, and then we'll we'll finish up. But yeah, we're gonna take about a four-minute commercial break. We got a video to play, and then we're gonna come right back and keep on talking.

SPEAKER_04 46:06

So let me try to keep it very long. Gets loud every single day. And the strongest ones you've ever known every stand, don't you? This is for the ones who held it. For the way the desk for the stylist trust the stylist used to be.

SPEAKER_05 48:13

We don't need perfect, we don't. We need a we need the story of it, the story.

SPEAKER_01 49:23

Two voices become a movement. We don't wait anymore. We don't hide anymore.

SPEAKER_09 50:41

So we wanted to introduce that because one of the things about this podcast is yes, we are talking about sensitive topics and suicide and the effects of that, but we also have to highlight the community around us, the ones that allow us to continue our outreach, the ones that allow us to continue talking to people, pushing forward these missions that are needed. And so we wanted, I wanted to put that together to think not only your organization, but all the many other organizations that have come together and aligned with Heroes in the Sky, because we wouldn't be here without it. So I hope you like the little video segment of you in there.

SPEAKER_00 51:25

Very nice. Thank you. So I actually took a picture when it came up. I'm so proud. I love our ladies, I love our group.

SPEAKER_09 51:34

Well, I've got that video I can send to you. So if you if you want a copy of the video, it's too easy. But yeah, we we do want to highlight the fact that the only way we're gonna make a difference is our community. And and I say that to lead into this. We talk about the women, any veteran getting out, but you know, in this context, the women veterans, because that's what your organization's that's your central focus, is the women veterans getting, you know, getting out that are in, being there for them. So, how many female veterans do you think they don't feel like they're seen, they don't feel like they're heard, they don't feel like that it's it what how they're feeling is relevant, so they just don't speak up. Because I think that's happening a lot from when you take the uniform off and when you separate and then you come into the civilian world, like you said, it took you 10 years to identify you know which way you were gonna go with the organization you wanted to start, your your your purpose, your direction. So if you if you face 10 years of uncertainty trying to figure that out, what what does it look like for these these female veterans getting out now?

SPEAKER_00 52:55

You know, that's a good I I hope with the internet and all Facebook and all that. I really hope that it's better and then they can they know of these groups and all, but still there is that caution to join a group. You know, there was it the Georgia Military Women's GMW, their Facebook group. They have God, I think 55,000 members. That is a good starter group. That's where I kind of met everybody and stuff, because they can go and you can be a watcher. You can just kind of watch, you can not participate if you want to, not have to, but you can kind of see what's happening, what everybody else is doing. With our group, again, like I would love to just need to market more that we do get together. The you know, some groups do get together, but I have found within our group, we have a lot of people that kind of watch for a long time, and then they kind of either somebody says, Hey, you're coming with me, we're going to do lunch, you know, this month, and they're introduced that way or on their own, they show up and they kind of join us, and then they're quiet for a little bit, and that's okay. Our group is very boisterous and everybody has a lot to say, so sometimes it's a lot, but then we have a couple ladies, I will not mention their names. They were very quiet for about a year, and then now we can't get them to shut up because they but this is this is great. This is what I love is that in the beginning they're very unsure, but when they come in, they kind of feel the flow and it's nice and it's easygoing, and you know, we do a lot of listening, and then they feel like they can say what they want to say. And I love that because we have a lot of ladies that haven't had a chance to say, or when they have it, it's not, they don't have the right audience, you know, like their family can't get it, or there's things that they don't want to sh their family to know about. In our group, you can you can talk about all of this, and they feel great and they feel heard and they feel seen. And that's why in our group, it's important to yes, if to share, but also to listen. Listen, I think just for a human being and for a woman sometimes, it's it's hard. But we do listen and we give everybody their time to like speak and to share and all, and that's very important because that's all they want to do. They want to be heard, they want to be seen, they want to share, and um, whatever it is, because again, what I love about our group, there are things that these women have shared that have like broke my heart, but at the same time, they are so freaking brave because I'm like, if I had gone through something like that, I don't know if I would have shared it in a group. Because they're you know, everybody has their things, but they're so brave to do that. And I love that we had that opportunity, but that again, going back to getting out feeling seen and heard, it is odd. You you know, you're around, you're doing the military, you know, for so many years of your life, that is your life, that's your identity. And when you get out and trying to communicate to the civilians, it's a challenge because everybody's like, Oh, thank you for your service. You're like, okay, thank you, you know, and then trying to be a normal human being like everybody else, you are you feel uncomfortable and people look at you weird or they don't respond to you well or saying, Don't say that, you know, and I'm just like I've been saying that for years. Like, I gotta get out of it. Because, you know, putting somebody on hold if you're, you know, at a commercial civilian business, I'll say, stand by. I'm like, toppy, you know. Yeah. So it is, it's hard and to not be, you don't want to be criticized for having this language or behaving this way, but you kind of feel like you are, you know, but at the same time, they're saying, Thank you for your service. And you're like, Well, shut the fuck up. When don't when you say that, but then you criticize me for being a certain way, you know, it doesn't work. But that's why you can come into our group whenever lunch is to say, Oh my god, this Civi the other day gave me a hard time about this, or oh my gosh, you know, it's really strange because I was not, I personally was not active duty, full-time active duty for years on end. I play the two roles, like I had to put the military stuff on and do that and be military Susie. And then I had to be a civilian Susie. And and it's a lot, I felt it to be more comfortable to be military Susie more often than I felt civilian Susie. So, but if you have a group that you can be a part of, you can come in, we can help with the transition, you can come in, you can we call it BMW, bitch moan and wine, and have a place to speak. It's a lot easier to get through these uh the challenges.

SPEAKER_09 58:45

Well, and and this this environment you're describing promotes healing. It it promotes healing, it promotes understanding, it pr it promotes the the feelings and emotions that we need to get away from the the really dangerous part of any of this, and that's when silence becomes isolation, or silence becomes you know, you you just you you barricade yourself or you just get quiet really fast and you sit in your own struggles in your own head because you feel like people don't understand you. And that's I think that's where you're gonna make the biggest impact with your organization, is you get you at a group of women that that understand these challenges and that that tell that I guess you know you you they know they can open up in this group and they're not gonna be judged. Like whatever whatever crazy things you got going on, y'all discuss, you you you deal with it as a group and you move on and you're just there for each other. And so that camaraderie, I think the biggest thing your organization's doing is just is more it's camaraderie, but it's also providing some of that identity, giving that identity back to some of these female veterans that that that though maybe the female veterans that are in your group already, they're already in your ranks. But what I like to look at as an organization with outreach, what I get really excited about is yes, I'm excited about the people that already listen to us. I get super excited about the new listeners or the new the new people the new people that are going to hear what we're doing and get behind it. And so is it do you see this organization, your membership growing rapidly? Is it has that is that has that been happening since you started?

SPEAKER_00 1:00:42

It ha I you know, I don't look at it that way. I mean, we have at this point 188, but then people who actually are rare are regulars, I guess you could say, each month, around like we about 13 that get together for the lunch. That being said, 13 is all 13 women at a lunch table is a good, it's a it's a good size, and it's it's always that's wonderful, and we're always getting new people, you know. That's why we also go down to Brunswick and Sylvania and you know, Port Wentworth and Thunderbolt and stuff, because we get ladies from the different areas and stuff, but um, you know, and we haven't really promoted ourselves. We were during the Veterans Day Parade. I was on the news a couple of times, like three times, and we saw a spike of people joining, which was exciting. And, you know, we're planning to do more where we're, you know, gonna be reaching out, but we just want to make sure that we have a solid foundation for our group. Like, who are we? What are we doing? What's the plan just to be organized? Because actually, tomorrow will be our one-year anniversary of the nonprofit aspect, and but we just want to make sure we have a good foundation because what I don't want anybody to feel lost, you know, and not heard or missing out. I don't want to find, you know, anybody missing. Actually, our founder, Miss Janice Ward, we call her the Gandalf of our Facebook group because she knows everybody, she knows what's going on, she knows these other women veteran groups that are either local or you know, somewhere throughout the state. And so she's very aware of what's happening and she kind of lets me say, Hey, we need to do this, or we need to check on this person, we need to go what's going on. Because she's always just kind of watching everything, which is wonderful, because I never want anybody to kind of slip through the cracks in our group. That's why we're very meticulous about making sure that everybody is heard or listened to. But so far I feel like we're doing that well. And then now we're gonna start advertising, I guess advertising, not the best word, but getting out there more to so we can get to the active duty groups. Because, like we were talking about earlier, is we want to get them when they're in to say, hey, you know, if you ever need to talk to somebody, if you ever wanted to like say BMW, bitch mode and wine, say come join us, you know, we'll listen, we'll understand, we'll help you out. And that's also with the networking aspect is that okay, what are you looking for? What do you want to do? What's happening? So when they do decide to get out, okay, what's the plan? You know, how can we help, you know, with the kids or with the caregiving or with the job, or where do you want to, you know, now we we have a a network of other women veteran organizations that we can make sure that they're getting everything they need. And so we're we we're working to implement that, but we need to get out on the bases, you know, in the posts and all to let them know that we exist and we're very warm and fuzzy.

SPEAKER_07 1:04:26

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:27

Well, that you know, we're not we were wore the soup, but we're now we're cool now, you know. We're not, you know, in whole military bearing.

SPEAKER_09 1:04:35

Well, the whole marketability thing, you know, you have to for for you for your outreach to reach its potential, you need to be on on bases, you need to be talking to these warriors to, you know, maybe four or five months before they get out. And I I would like to say that maybe there's a movement we can work towards together, but I just I know the challenges Heroes in the skies had about participation on active military bases is has been difficult. It's just lack of a lot of lack of accountability, they don't want to put the energy and effort into it, and but I don't think that should stop us. I think at some point we just have to keep on pushing. And the goal is one day we'll see the women veterans of the coastal empire, and some of these, maybe you know, they have them at a cur go to a career fair. I mean, you're already trying to take care of them when they get out, have a table at a career fair so they can come up and talk to you. And they can they can they can know that hey, well, I don't have to lose my entire identity once I take the uniform off. Like there's this, there's an organization right here that does this, this, and this, and that's what I need.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:52

Yeah. You know, yeah, and by being part of these organizations, you know, between you and myself and the other, you know. Organizations around here, because we were talking kind of talking about this a little while ago, and we're going to be talking about it more soon. Is that because we all know people and things and how to do and this and and how we can use that to help veterans? Because if some somebody was asking me, actually, a couple of people were asking me about getting a service dog, and I'm like, don't know. I know who to call, you know, for that answer. And they're like, oh, yeah, this is how you do it, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, sweet, you know, pass that on. And that's something that we'll have because I love the connecting aspect. I like the problem solve. You do too. But it's going to take us. Yes, I do want to get out in the base and say, hey, look at us. We exist. But it's really going to take our organizations with the other organizations around here working together and having a plan or an event or something that we pull together, you know, to get, you know, not just the veterans that come out saying, hey, look at, you know, our group, look at what we're doing, look what's out there, look what your options are. What do you need? But also to advertise to the civilian community that we need help. You know, we need their support as well. And from my experience talking to like the wellness community here in Savannah, they want to help. They want to offer services and way because they're heart-based entrepreneurs. They want to help. The problem is that they're also a business. And you know, there has to be a way how they get paid, how they can help us, you know, at the same time. So how how what does that look like? How do we can work on that with them? And I'm sure other businesses like financial businesses, you know, other organizations that let's put our heads together and how we can, you know, help this because we are a military town. Like I said, I went to Atlanta and a lot happens at Atlanta. They have a lot of things in Atlanta. But I'm like, but Savannah is a military town. I was the only person there, what is that, east of the of Macon? Why?

SPEAKER_09 1:08:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:29

Why?

SPEAKER_09 1:08:30

Yeah, absolutely. It's and two, I I look at things a lot deeper when you talk about connectivity and you know doing events in public where you you promote unity. Because the way I look at this is if you can put yourself and place yourself around other organizations that are doing the right thing and you feel comfortable being around them and and seeing what they're doing, then how do you think someone who may who's met who's trying to make a decision of they're trying to find an organization or they feel lost, but someone in that crowd sees how unified the organizations here are. Maybe that's a positive experience for them to say, hey, if these organizations can get along and work together and support each other, then that that that may be something I can get behind. So maybe, maybe we get, you know, maybe by working together and and showing this community that we are stronger together, we get more people involved because they see what we're really about. They see the genuine intention behind behind the organization.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:44

Right. And I'll tell you this our organization, you know, we do not have any competition. We don't have any competition. And so, and there's no reason why we would be competing against anybody else. Yes, we're a nonprofit and we need money, right? But, you know, the mission is that we need we need your help. We need help from the other organizations, anything in the veteran community, even these other civilian business, we're always let's how can we work together? And just what you said, we're stronger together than if we all remain silos. You know, not we're not, you know, I know there's some organizations that they feel like there's a competition thing going on. I'm like, well, that's bad business. That's dumb because there's nobody that's alike. And I've used this terminology before twins are not identical twins, still have different fingerprints. They're not alike. And we need to all work together because, like I said, we have some strengths, you have strengths, but then together, you know, it's a great, it's a beautiful puzzle piece that we can all put together and and have us, our area, be a strong military-centric support system. And anytime, like I said, all this stupid stuff that goes to Atlanta, that's the dumbest thing. It needs to be happening here. And on that note, like I was speaking the other night, there is a women veterans conference coming here, national conference coming here next month.

SPEAKER_09 1:11:29

Nice. And what date is that? So, what let's let's talk more about that. So, those listening or who will hear this. So, where is that going to be in the in the timetable? When is that gonna happen?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:44

So that's August 9th through the 12th. Okay, and I believe the 9th is a Sunday, so it starts on they check in on Sunday, and it's you know, through the 12th. And and I will have to look in exactly who they are, but they're they're leadership for different women veterans, organizations, private organizations as well as state organizations that are national. And this is the first time, and I think they've been around for like 30 to 40 years, and this is the first time they're coming to Georgia. And are they coming to Atlanta? No, they're coming to Savannah, which is fantastic. Of course, they did not let any of the whole veteran communities, you know, organizations know about it, happen to find out about it. But anyhow, but yes, so I we're gonna be involved, we're gonna need volunteers, and I want, you know, our veteran community, you know, to show up and saying, you know, this is what we have here. We're a military town, and we have all these incredible organizations like yours and mine, and and they need to continue, these groups need to continue to come to Savannah, you know, and have provide these veteran services and these conferences and stuff. It's not just great for Savannah, but it's great for our military group, our veteran organizations.

SPEAKER_09 1:13:10

It's great for just a demonstration of strength. And yeah, you know, if you if you produce that community where veteran veterans getting out know they have there's organizations there, they they feel comfortable in those organizations. And here's the thing I say, how do you make yourself, how do you, how do you, how how does one become comfortable in with what your organization does? There's only one way to do that, and that's boots on the ground. These people getting out, their veterans getting out, need to see firsthand what your organization is about. What are you doing? Like, what are you doing for the veterans? Are, and even you have to look as a financial aspect. The are the donated funds going to where they're supposed to? Are they going to the mission-centric where that like like you're like a nonprofit should be? Because we know there's others that don't. And then there's all these little factors that people see that that they use to make a determination if they're going to support your organization, whether that be there with their volunteering, their physical presence, or financially. But that starts with exactly what you're talking about strength in community and and being there for each other. Our organizations backing each other up in this community and being there for each other, not not fighting each other, not competing against each other, but really supporting each other and wherever that might be. And it's it takes takes one, and then it then you get another organization to work, and then you just you keep building that chain. And then by the time you know it, you've got, you know, you hopefully have a very large or somewhat growing veteran support network, where exactly like you just said, if if you if I have a veteran, a female veteran reach out to me that's in trouble, if it's something that I may not, heroes in the sky, may not can handle, I can say, hey, you know what though? Let me connect you to women veterans of the coastal empire and they'll take care of you. Because, you know, our organizations aren't going to have all the answers all the time. But if we know who does have the answers, we can continue that process of supporting other organizations.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:35

Well, we go back to filling the gap because there's so many, there's enough, there's gaps that need to be filled that, you know, maybe someday we'll be able to fill as many as that we can. But like I said, other organizations could fill that gap. And that's all I want to do. I just want to make sure that all of our veterans are seen, are heard, they have solutions, they have somebody to call, somebody to talk to that we're you're taking care of all this because anytime that I hear of a veteran, you know, who commits suicide, excuse my language, but I'm like, it happened. You know, what happened? Like, how do we miss that? You know, you know, I I'm no offense, I'm tired of like the triage. I feel like if we could do per have preventative measures in place to at least get the numbers down, help, you know, or do something. But I feel like I feel like there's times that we got we have a lot of good things that are you are doing, we're all doing. But then, you know, when something happens, you know, my heart breaks. I, you know, we all get upset and we're like, what happened? Like, how did we miss that? Especially if this individual is in already in the veteran community.

SPEAKER_09 1:16:59

Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:17:01

You know, like how what happened? Because they're in the community, they're part of one of the organizations. They they know that there's people that they could have talked to or called or something, and that didn't happen, you know.

SPEAKER_09 1:17:19

There's various organizations we work with that that is that's what happened, is they were f shocked and floored that one of their members died by suicide because you know they were part of the group, they were helping others, and they just did not see it coming. Okay, especially when you're if you are it is very shocking when you're when you're already established or you're already in an established organization, and people see you out in the community, they see the good work you're doing, and then you get the bad news that that we've lost that warrior to suicide. There's so many questions people have, and it's it goes exactly what you're saying. Well, what did we miss? You know, what happened? Where's the gaps? And unfortunately, the gaps will continue to be there until we start putting more effort. Actually, Janice was in some of the comments saying that like career planners and counselors can identify those separating at various intervals of that of that timetable. So if they can identify that, then why don't we go ahead and get them, okay, in six months, we know this person's getting out in six months. Here's a like I said earlier, here's a list of all the mental health providers in your area that take child care. They take chant VA. Find, you know, and and give them the information they need to find the ones they need to be comfortable. Like, because maybe the first, maybe the first resource you go to or you call, maybe that doesn't work for you. Maybe you need something more. So you you still have to give them time to use the resources. So you can't you can't hand them a sheet, you know, hey, you're you're getting out tomorrow. Here's your sheet. Give it to them six months in advance. Let them call around, let them, let them go to a few appointments, let them let them come hang out with the with your organization a few times. Give them some time to build some some rapport and feel comfortable there. And then I then I then I watch our numbers start dropping because the correlation between high suicide rates, the biggest correlation that we're finding is that immediate loss of identity and purpose, and you just don't feel like you belong, and that turns into isolation, that turns into despair, and then that turns into suicidal thoughts and suicidal actions. So if we catch this dangerous tract up here when they're just isolated or they're starting to feel alone, and we give them, we re we re-identify some purpose for them, we maybe we can circumvent that whole that whole process and keep them here.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:07

Yeah. Yeah, I I agree. You know, I'm like whatever, you know, we can do to kind of help that, you know, I just I just want I you know, I want the best for everybody and I want everybody to be happy and to be excited about getting out and starting the next chapter of their life and not to kind of just you know fall off in the end. You know, I I guess it's hard for me to like imagine somebody allowing that to happen, you know, or not preparing them, you know, because like we were always, especially to be in the military, you always prepared, always prepared. Sometimes you feel so irritating, you prepared so much. And then, but they don't seem to do that, you know, when they're getting out.

SPEAKER_09 1:21:02

Correct. That's that's where the gap is. I've said that for years. We're not identifying the resources they need, six months to you know, whatever, out a month to their separation. And and it will that fix everything? No, there's no magical potion. But if the smallest things we can do is give them give them a little bit of identity, some purpose, some self, some beliefs that they are enough that you know that they can do it, then self-confidence can go a long way too in some of this isolation and despair is what I see it as well. But it's you know, we've had a fantastic conversation, and I think we're about at the 10-minute mark. I want to give you the chance. One, we have not put your website up on the screen yet. So I need you to can you tell us your website? And if if you any any female veterans that are listening or want to join or just want to come have camaraderie with your group, how do they get a hold of you?

SPEAKER_00 1:22:08

So go you can go to the website. It's Georgiawomen Vets, V-E-T-S.org. Go on there. You could there's a little contact line. You can you know put your email, name and email in there. We'll reach back out to you. Check out the event tab. We have an event coming up this month. Um, it's the last Saturday of this month, which I think it's on the 25th, Saturday, the 25th, and we are going to be in Port Wentworth at the Georgia Comfort Kitchen restaurant. It's off there 21 and 95. Excellent. But like I said, we have it, we have those set up. Also, Facebook, we're in the we have a private Facebook group, just you know, Google or in Facebook, look, women veterans of the Coastal Empire. And if you're listening, say that I said to join, I was your contact. You know, we'll we'll have Gandalf let you in, let you pass. But yeah, those are some of the ways you can reach out for us. But yeah, the best thing to do is just, you know, show up. We don't mind, you know, having new people show up. It's fantastic. So we have a great group, we have a lot of energy, a lot of talk, and we have a lot of, you know, everybody is just so good together. It's a good flow. But you can even come and sit there and not say a word, and that's okay. But I'll tell you this with the two people I'm thinking about, Charity and Mary, they sat there for a while, not say would come and not say anything, but then they couldn't help themselves. Now we can't get them to shut up. And we have absolutely loved them.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:50

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 1:23:51

Yes, please join us.

SPEAKER_09 1:23:53

Absolutely. Yeah, and so yeah, if you're listening, join our friends. Uh, they're doing fantastic stuff. We are going to, I'm going to give this this statement out one more time just because I want people to know, you know, if you are listening, just know that this podcast and this media series, we have we are going to discuss mental health, traumatic loss, suicide. And we know this can be very heavy and triggering topics. So here's in the Sky Foundation, Nautical Salute, Walk for Vets, Combat Kitchen, and any of our guests on this show and its co-host, we are not licensed mental health professionals, and nothing you hear us talk about should be taking as medical counseling or legal advice. We are just sharing stories, peer support, education, and lived experiences for awareness and support only. If you or someone you love is in crisis and thinking about suicide, please do not wait. In the United States, you can call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, or you can dial 911 if there's an immediate emergency. So just know you are not alone and help is available and your life does matter. So before I go into my sponsors, we read our sponsors and play the outro. I want to give you your last final thought of what if someone, I guess how we say this is let's say someone is watching this this episode at three o'clock in the morning, and what would you want them to know? Lasting impressions.

SPEAKER_00 1:25:28

Well, you're not alone. And what you've gone through, you know, other people have a similar story, a same or similar story. And we have a lot of wonderful ladies in our organization that are very supportive. We have a great environment, it's a very safe and private environment, too. What we share with our group, we don't share outside of the group. And, you know, community is important. You know, you often want to be by yourself and to, you know, just shut the world out, but that's not always the answer. You know, come join our community, or even just get a hold of me, we'll meet for coffee. We could just do a one-on-one thing. And, you know, if you want me to bring Gandalf, I can bring Gandalf, have her come too. She has a lot to say, she's absolutely wonderful. And uh, she's a Marine, so a little intimidating, but she's fantastic.

SPEAKER_09 1:26:32

Absolutely. So, yes. Well, well, thank you for being here today. We're thank you. What you do, showing the showing the community that strength is, you know, there is strength in numbers. And we, you know, you have to believe and support other organizations. And we wholeheartedly support what you're doing. And you ever want to come back and and if you ever want to come back on and be a guest and talk more, you know how to get a hold of us because we love getting this information out there. So the the quote I'm gonna end with, it all is end with is if you're listening to this and you are contemplating suicide, what I will tell you is when you die by suicide, the the grief, the emotions, all of those feelings that you are running from or your demons, they transfer directly to your loved ones, they transfer to the ones you are trying to protect, your wife, your children, your brother, your sister. And so veteran suicide alone, it affects somewhere near 44 a day. But when you do that, when you dig deeper into that, that's 208,000 people a week, it affects. It's almost 10 million people a year that veteran suicide affects. And so it's very important that if you're contemplating suicide, know that those. Your demons don't just don't die with you. They go to your the loved ones you're trying to protect. So I say that just to end with this quote, and then I'll read the sponsors. When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on. So just it's just important. You know, when you feel like you have nowhere to go and you can't keep going, just hang on because tomorrow's gonna be better. Your family needs you, and those around you are gonna feel your loss more than you'll ever know. So thank you for being here. We're gonna close out with our sponsors, hang tight in the studio, hang out in the studio. So we want to thank the American Legion Post 135. They are our title sponsors. They are located in historic downtown Savannah at 1108 Bull Street. They're a member of the largest veteran service organization in the nation. They were founded on the principles of service to our veterans, to our community, state, and nation. Their membership is open to any veteran who has served honorably and to active duty service members. They are home to the local 1110, Betty Bombers, Brighter Day, Centennial Bean, and Lee Chai, and their bars open to the public. Also, if you are in the Savannah area, you you can rent their space. It's a phenomenal space. Just tell our tell them that your friends from Heroes in the Sky sent you. So with that, we're gonna close out with our outro video. Thank you, Susie, for being here. Thank you. Thank you for all our guests that were listening, the people in the comments. It really is an honor to for people to listen and for this for this outreach to work. We need people to share, circulate, and keep pushing it out. So we we couldn't do this without you. So we're gonna end it with that. And we're gonna listen. We got our the video that you are about to watch. We do warn you that it does have some of those exact exact challenges and statistics that we were talking about within these certain populations of suicide.

SPEAKER_06 1:30:09

I used to think healing was supposed to sound heroic. Like victory speeches, like medals hitting a wooden table, like somebody finally saying, You made it. But healing? Healing sounded more like silence. Like sitting in the truck too long after work. Because home felt safer when the engine was still running. Like staring at a grocery store aisle, trying to remember why your heart suddenly started racing. Like waking up at 2.13 in the morning, sweating through memories you never asked to keep. See, they trained us to survive the battlefield, but nobody really taught us how to survive ourselves afterward. Nobody talked about how trauma follows you home wearing civilian clothes. How it hides in fireworks, crowded rooms, empty bottles, divorce papers, missed phone calls, and the sentence, I'm fine. Especially that sentence. I know veterans who carried entire teams on deployment, but struggle to carry groceries inside the house now. Men and women who could navigate chaos overseas but can't navigate their own thoughts when the room gets quiet. And still, they wake up. Still, they fight. That matters. You hear me? That matters. Because hope isn't always loud. Sometimes hope is just making the appointment, answering the phone, talking for the first time, saying, No, I don't think I'm okay. That's courage too, maybe even the purest kind. See the world loves the image of the warrior, but healing asks something harder. It asks the warrior to become human again, to let people in, to trust again, to stop apologizing for wounds nobody can see. And that process, it's ugly sometimes. There are setbacks, bad nights, anger that shows up uninvited. Days where depression feels heavier than body armor ever did. But there are also moments, small moments, where light gets through. The kids laugh, a sunrise after a sleepless night. Brothers and sisters sitting around the table finally telling the truth. A stranger saying, Me too. That's where healing begins. Not in pretending the trauma never happened, but in realizing the trauma doesn't get to write the ending. You survived war, you survived loss, you survived becoming someone you barely recognized. Now comes the hardest mission of all. Believing you deserve peace, too. And maybe peace doesn't mean forgetting. Maybe peace is learning that your scars are not proof you're broken. For proof you kept going. So to every veteran still fighting battles, nobody sees.