When did we stop speaking to each other?

After a trip back home to The Bahamas, something really stayed with me. Everywhere I went, people spoke to each other: Good morning, good afternoon, good day — even strangers passing by on the street.

It made me think, when did we stop doing that? Or did we truly stop?

Joined by guests from different backgrounds and perspectives, we discuss how social media, busy lives and changing communities have influenced the way we communicate. We also explore the importance of kindness, the breaking that people are experiencing in life and the beauty in giving one another grace.

Whether you’re listening on your morning commute, at home with family, or simply looking for thoughtful conversation, we invite you to join us.

What do you think? Did we stop speaking to each other or do we need to return back to the basics?

The conversation doesn’t end here, continue it with us on social media and in future episodes on facebook @ Ashanti Isaac.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:05

First of all, thank you, ladies, for joining me this evening because this is a conversation that I wanted to have for a long time. You know, talks about stuff like this. So, what sparked this conversation on this topic is when I went home, I noticed everybody say, good morning, morning, morning, morning, good evening, good day, whatever, whatever. And I knew like growing up, that's how it was. Like people would always speak. But then when I, you know, was living in America for a long time and then I went home, it kind of like caught me by surprise. Crazy enough to say. And I just wanted to talk about like, are we are we losing that sense of community? Are we not speaking to each other again? Like, what is going on? And and Mr. Brina, you're from America. So I invited you because you have that southern hospitality flow going on. And I felt like that would have been a very good perspective. And then, Danny, you went to Canada and then back home. So you have like an international outlook on it too. So I wanted to speak with you guys about it. So let's talk about it. Uh, Mr. Brina, let's start with you. Um, how does that southern hospitality kind of look here in America?

SPEAKER_00 1:14

Well, I actually live in Georgia, and that's really in the South, right? And I'm a realist. Sometimes Southern hospitality is not all that it's cracked up to be. You know, there was a time, possibly, when you could show up at people's homes unannounced. Well, in many cases, that's not the case anymore. You need to call before you show up. And I think in the rush of everything, we tend to speak sometimes. And one thing that we say in the South is, hey, or hello, how are you doing? And before someone could respond, the other person has already moved along. So they're not really listening to your response. But what I try to do, being the imperfect person that I am, but I try to do this. If I ask someone, how are you doing, I try to listen for their reaction. Because you might not know, but this could be the reaction that someone needs to hear that day. Someone could be on the verge of giving up, committing suicide, and just by your listening could make a difference in their lives.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Okay, so my speaker went out when I clicked on the Facebook Live tab. So can y'all still hear me? I can't hear you. Can you hear us? Mr. Brennan talk?

SPEAKER_00 2:36

Yes, I can hear you.

SPEAKER_02 2:38

No. Oh no, Shanti.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

It's okay. Let's try. Let's try.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

Um okay. Well, I can hear you, Danielle. So if you want to go ahead and respond, and then I'm gonna hop out and then hop back in to see if like that fixes it. But just go ahead and talk a little bit about your perspective, Danny, with being from the Bahamas and then go into Canada and seeing how that uh communication is like, like with people speaking to each other there, and I'm hop out and hop back in.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Okay. Well, being from the Bahamas, of course, we born and raised, respect is due to everybody. So my mom always told me you can respect the CEO as well as the janitor. So growing up, that was just my mentality. Everyone deserved the same amount of respect. If you want respect, you must give respect. So instantly, that was just something that sticked. And so moving abroad and um doing school in Canada, it was kind of strange because, like you said, most oftentimes us Caribbean, I would even say Caribbean, people would, you know, good morning, this, and I guess people are in a such a mad rush that they don't really wait for the response, or they don't even really hear you or listen in, or you know, you'll open the door for someone and you'll see them just rush right past you, and it's like, I said, I held the open and said good morning, like you know what I mean. But I assume that everyone is just always on go, or that's some, you know, something that you guys, you know, Americans just have, or other people just had that, you know, tunnel vision, don't make eye contact, don't acknowledge the person in front of you, they're all busy, everyone's busy, just go where you have to go. And it's like, oh, we always take that moment that pause and be like, good morning, how are you? Like, you know, even if it's not a good morning, it's how are you? Uh good day. Yeah, yeah. So it stuck took me by surprise, you know. Even schooling abroad, I was like, Oh, okay, should I not say anything? Is that rude to kind of address someone when they're not really you don't know them or something like that? So I kind of but in the Bahamas, whether you know them or not, it's like a good morning. You know, if you sometimes you make eye contact with the person in the car next to you, and it's morning, little head shake something. Yeah, like a little acknowledgement, like you someone might need that, like that may be something that you know made them smile on their way to work after they had a rough morning, a rough Saturday morning.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

So yeah, that's just how the Bohemian culture. And so one thing that um my parents kind of said is these phones. I remember when I was growing up, my daddy say, but like this is when Nokia first came out, right? Do you remember like the love Nokia and used the yeah? So my daddy, he said, these phones is the devil, and I was like, Daddy, like you're tripping, like what you mean? But now, like, you know, seeing how evolved we've been, um, we've become, I kind of agree with him a little bit, like, okay, maybe the phones is the devil. So is it is do y'all think it's more like uh well, we just so caught up in looking down on our phones as we walk in or having our airpods or whatever that we're forgetting just common courtesy. I agree. I totally agree with that for sure. Yeah, Mr. Brandon, what do you think?

SPEAKER_00 5:43

I agree. I was basically going to make make sure I mentioned that phones are a distraction and everybody's so busy, we're so connected. I tell people that my phone is my workspace, it's my mobile desk. And so I've been accused by my own family of not paying attention when we're together. We're in a car and I get a phone call and I put this finger up. That means everybody needs to be quiet because I have a business call. And then my parents, when we would come home, there are four of us, and when we would come visit my parents, my parents would say, Would you all put your phones down? That was before they got smartphones, right? So now we might come in and they're sitting on their phones, and we all have to be reminded to put our phones down. And my my mom's 79 and my dad's 81, and they're tech savvy now, you know. So we all could be sitting in a room on our cell phones and distracted from having that family communication that we need, but we're trying to really work on that. And I remember seeing uh a cartoon or something where a woman was on her cell phone texting and walking, and she nearly was hit by a car, you know, because the distraction was there, and we are easily distracted by technology, and it takes us away from being hospitable, from being courteous, from paying attention to other people because we're glued to this technology.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

Yeah. And Danny, what do you say? Because like technology also is like more of our generation, like we kind of watch it evolve too. So, how do you feel about it?

SPEAKER_01 7:17

Well, I know similar example, like if I'm even out to dinner, you know, my first instinct record the room. So I'm guilty of it as well. Record the room, take pictures of everything. So those are, and that's immediately from you walk in, you have a seat, those are the moments where you could conversate. And nowadays, like it's completely out the window because everyone's trying to get catch the ambiance, catch the body, trying to take pictures. And so as soon as we're done with that, the waiter comes and then takes the order, and then waited here, still you know what I mean. So I agree that the technology nowadays it keeps everybody kind of distracted, and we that sense of connection, that sense of socializing and just being in the moment completely gone out the window. Like I've heard people say, you know, capturing the memory, and it's like live in the moment sometimes as well. Like it's not capturing the memory important, but live in the moment, you know what I mean? Like that that thought, that memory never leaves your head, you know what I mean. The picture tells a thousand words, but you know, living in that moment where next month, five years from now, you'd be like, remember that time where we went to dinner and then we know what I mean. You have to always have a picture to prompt you now. Like it's like our brains are kind of losing all you know functionality. Yeah, and we're depending on pictures to prompt our memories now, and looking back at flashbacks, be like, Oh, you remember that? I'll hit my friend up now that I see this picture. Yeah, sometimes just live in the moment and let those memories just evolve. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:43

Now, Johnny, you said something earlier that I liked. You said that you speak to people because you just never know what that hi or hello or that smile might do for somebody. Now, somebody, uh Sarah Edmonds, she says, I love speaking to everyone or at least smiling at them and passing. It's just who I am. And I like to be kind to people no matter our differences. I want people to see Jesus in me. And I just love that because yeah, like that's that's one thing. And thank you, Miss Sarah, for dropping your comment. And if you do want to share your thoughts on it, make sure you drop a comment too. I'm gonna check them. But I love that too. And I think that sometimes we do forget, like, just a simple smile or just being kind to people might change the whole mood of their day. You just never kind of know when somebody at the edge, like you, y'all ever watched that show called 13 Reasons Why? You just never know whether somebody's 13th reason, you know, like just to, you know, and so just smiling and kind of being nice to people is kind of where I feel like we have shifted away. I don't think that we're as nice to people as we should be. And one thing that I noticed from my personal experience in America versus being in the Bahamas, I think that Americans, some Americans, they don't have a sense of that's my brother, so I'm gonna look out for you. Like I remember being in South Georgia when I was in Badasta, I always used to have Bahamians just look out for me. I don't know them from a can of paint. I don't know them, I don't know nothing about them. But just because you Bahamian and I Bahamian, we family, we gonna have each other back no matter what, you know? But I feel I also kind of feel like in America, it's not like you American, I American, I have your back. It's more like I just like live in my own little circle, my own little bubble, and every man for themselves. Now, Miss Sabrina, since you're American, I want to ask you, have you seen that growing up here? Or is that like uh uh an American culture, or is it just different in the South? What is it like?

SPEAKER_00 10:32

I actually don't think we have the connectivity of other cultures. I really don't. Um, I think there is um a divide, there's competition, and I'll just give you a case in point. And as far as business is concerned, you know, if someone goes into business and they're doing pretty well, sometimes people look at that and say, hey, uh I'm not gonna support that because they think that their dollar is fueling that income without looking. If I support local or if I support someone in my circle, then I'm supporting that household. And then they can support me and my household. And even with the sisterhood, to me, the sisterhood is not here in America like it should be. You know, I I'm of the opinion, and I think Ashanti, you know this. If there's another woman that I can support, I'm going to support her. Like today, I really am not into my new my look. I'm a little chunky, didn't want to be online. But I said, for Ashanti, I'm going to do this. I'm going to be here because she's amazing and I want to support her and her endeavors. So I'm here, but I don't think the sisterhood is here. I don't think the connectivity is here because we're too much of a competitive society where you can't see we're better together. And I think we should be.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Yeah. Tony, what's your opinion on that? Like just being a Bahamian and always having another Bahamian back, and then probably coming to another country and seeing it's a little bit different. What's your thoughts?

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Well, one thing I love about the Bahamian culture, we something I admire is that we have a big brother, little brother, big sister, little sister culture. Like, regardless if you're related, if even if you show some resemblance, like you know, twin, everybody just accepts everybody and it's like I like you. You know what I mean? Not even I like you, but my little sister, like you know what I mean. Everybody just kind of forms that connection with someone, regardless of where they came from, if they know them, if you show some sort of respect or some sort of humility, everyone's well willing to welcome you with open arms. And I I feel like that's all it takes. Like, you know what I mean? Of course, you're not gonna friend up everybody, but you know, especially when I was off to Canada, we had a lot of Caribbean students, a lot of Bohemian students, and instantly, the minute I I remember my first day, we get in room assignments, I met this lady. Well, this girl, she was in set with me, and the minute she heard my accent, instantly we clicked and we stuck together, and it just was like that from the day. Like every time we heard another Caribbean accent, flocked towards them. And you know, everybody welcomed everybody with open arms. We didn't even actually get to find out where everyone was from until like later on we got to bond. But the fact that, you know, okay, we can tell that you're a Caribbean, you kind of hear that accent, you're humble, you're respectful, we can love you. Like it didn't take much, it didn't take proving yourself, or it didn't say, you know, you doing something for me to be like, okay, I can accept you. And I love that, it's just so welcoming. Like a lot of cultures miss that just family, yeah, and the community that you know, we from the same place, we have the same goal. Like, you know, if we could help each other out to get to that goal, we can help each other out. Like, yeah, it's always better than one. I would never want to do this solo. I'd never want to be, you know what I mean? We all have we all have that that sense of just community.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

Yeah. And that's what um Royer Colin Seymour says. She says, I grew up in a small town in South Georgia where most people knew each other. People not only spoke to others, but were glad to help even strangers when they had a need. I know it was a simpler time, but we can still be cordial to those we come across. Love is always greater than hate. I love that. And that's what I'm trying to figure out, like well, not really figure out, but almost compare. Because when I think of our Caribbean countries and how we kind of come together, we just latch onto each other. Is it because though we are in a simpler country? We don't have the advances that America has or the opportunity that America provides to its people or anything like that. It's almost like, I don't want to say this, gosh, I don't want to get can't. I don't want to say primitive, but like we simple. We have we live a simple life. And however you want to take that's however you want to take it. But it does that feed into why we are the way that we are, and it does that also feed into why Americans, some Americans are the way that they are, because they don't have to lean on one another because the opportunities are always here.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Which I think very valid point. I actually like that. Yeah, like knowing that at least being on the island, knowing that okay, all our dollars the same, all us went to the same high school, no matter where you are now, like all us come from the same humble beginning. So like I say, I respect the CEO and I respect the Jonathan, the same amount of respect, nothing different. So it's like just taking that with me everywhere I go and just remembering that okay, your dollars the same dollar. You you know what I mean? You come from the same place I come from. If we need to get somewhere, we could it's not as it's not as competitive, I guess. Uh yeah, like we know all of us have to fight for opportunities. If I have an opportunity, I can put you on that opportunity because I know what it's like, and I can help you get there too. You know, you're my people. I is not there, you my people.

SPEAKER_02 15:52

So what about you, Mr. Brainerd? What do you think?

SPEAKER_00 15:54

I agree with Danielle. Um, and I've always thought this that the president of the United States deserves respect because of his position, period. But the janitor, the janitor or the custodial staff that's at the White House, they're equally as important. That place would not be clean if it were not for the custodial staff. Everybody has a role that they play, and everybody's equally important. So we should never look down on anyone because of their status in life. And we grew up, I grew up with a mother who graduated um number two in her class, and my dad only had a third grade education, and so they were mismatched as far as um the academic level. However, they taught us some of the same basic principles. And my dad used to say he had mothers with, and I was like, that's not a word, but I was one of those little smart kids. I went to the dictionary to look it up, and it's it's there, basically common sense, right? So my dad was always looking out for the underdog for other people who maybe needed a hand up or a lift up, and my mom the same way. And so my siblings and I, that's what we learn to not just try to associate with people who are the upper echelon of society, but to also look at people who might be down, um, part in the expression on their look, so to speak, and need that hand up. And so, yeah, we should really not be a social or societal class where you look at people based on income, intellect, or things like that when it comes to just helping people individually. And I agree with Danielle and I agree with you too, Ashanti, that the American culture, I think, because of the opportunities here, we sometimes forget to be basic. We sometimes forget to do the things that are just common, like speaking to someone, you know, the kindnesses that we should have and being kind to everyone we encounter.

SPEAKER_02 17:51

Yeah. And speaking of being kind, Miss Barbara Fields, she just dropped a comment. She says, Everyone should show kindness to others because we don't know what they are going through. I love God, and a smile or hello won't hurt myself. I will speak to everyone, even if it's not, even if she doesn't get anything in return. And she also says that she enjoys the show. And she says, share love, don't hurt people. I'm always happy, fun, and full of laughter because my mom said smile because God is watching you. You never know if that person has so much negativity in their life. Smiling puts them back together on a mob on positive thoughts. And I love that. And I feel like that's kind of what we all kind of need to go back to. Just the basics of just love. Like it doesn't matter where you're from. Um, I know in different cultures and communities and stuff, we kind of look like, oh, like, for example, I'll top of myself, when they first see me in America, they'd be like, oh, American, then oh, African American, then I open my mouth and they'd be like, oh, you ain't one of us, you know. Just saying all that to say, it's so funny. I promise you, it's the funniest thing. But um, saying all that to say, you just kind of like I I love you because God made you and God made me, and you are my brother and sister, no matter what you look like or where you're from. So therefore, I will smile to you or I will speak to you. And I feel like we kind of just need to go back to this basic foundation of just loving our neighbors of ourselves. And we're we're missing that as a as a I wouldn't even say just as a nation or a country, but the world in general, we have just gone so far from just loving on people, and I don't understand why.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

My my grandfather, my mom's dad, used to say, smile in the world, smile with you. And I do believe there's a lot of truth in that because who's gonna not smile at someone who's smiling? So you have to take you have to take the first step, you know, smile first.

SPEAKER_02 19:41

Yeah, we have like so many comments here, and I kind of want to read some of them. I want to get to we can't get to all, it's a lot. Um, let's do this one. I'm just gonna close my eyes and stop scrolling. Okay, Ashley Gantt says, I work in a hospital and it's our culture to always speak. I feel like I carry that outside and do get people not replying or looking at me weird. As always, say thank you for to everyone as well. So I any thoughts on that? Like, do y'all get weird look scenario? Be like, morning, morning, morning, how y'all doing?

SPEAKER_00 20:14

I've gotten a few couple of times. People said if I say good morning, they'll say what's good about it. You know, so to though, and those were some co-workers at some point. So what I started just saying, morning. I left out the good part and let them decide for those particular co-workers. This is back in the past because I don't have co-workers now like that, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:35

Uh, this Janie Irvin, she asks, if do we think that there that's why there is so much killing going on now? Because people do not have common courtesy anymore. No one acknowledges each other. Customer service is out the window, and she's believing it's an animalistic behavior. What do you all think? Is that why crime is kind of running crazy now, too? No one acknowledges each other. It's customer. Thanks, Danny.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

I honestly believe with customer service, there are people that don't want to work and they're there because they need a check. And I do believe that most establishments teach customer service. And I had one friend of mine, she was going through something severe one time, um, an emotional mental break. I think she she was suffering from schizophrenia. So she made the comment to me, I don't get paid to smile. And I said to her, Yes, you do. On any job that you're working and you're dealing with customers, you're getting paid to smile. And when I was in technical college, um, my instructor gave us a mirror and told us to put the mirror on our desk. And every time you're on a call, look at yourself. And if you're not smiling, you need to smile. And I think that's something that many people need to do have a mirror somewhere nearby so that you can look to see if you're smiling. If you're not smiling, you need to, because you do get paid to smile.

SPEAKER_02 21:56

Yeah. Donnie, what do you think about the killing part of it? Do you think that's why? Crime is a little bit higher now because people are lacking common courtesy or they just don't have any respect for each other.

SPEAKER_01 22:07

Could be could be um directly tied to that. I believe it's sometimes if we just extend grace and understand that some days some people are just going through something, you know what I mean? I've seen things nowadays where incidents on the road, just tension, and I think I saw a video where a guy came out and shot a person, and I was like, okay, everybody may have been tense that day. If we just if someone, if one person has just had just extended grace and you know, turn the other cheek, return to the Bible and just turn the other cheek while their brothers, you know, on a rampage. Like, you don't know how many conflicts could have been resolved by just you know extending grace and saying, you know what, today might be that type of day for you. I'm not gonna feed, I'm not gonna gas that fight, I'm not gonna feed that like just extending some grace sometimes. Like it may not be all the time, and both of you may be on edge, but someone has to take the stance of saying, Okay, you know what? It just they may be having a more worse day than me. So I'll just, you know, just and and men, I I believe so much conflicts could be resolved just by one person taking that big step and saying, you know what, let me just extend that grace. You never know what someone's going through at that very moment and what that 13th reason is. So just sometimes, okay. I understand. Even if you could offer a kind word and be like, you know what, I understand something may be going on today. You good? You want me to buy a coffee today? Like, you good. Like, let me, you know, even just changing the mood, just changing the mood with something positive, or you know what I mean, may de-escalate a lot of situations. So some persons are just not showing that respect and being that one to you know, it's then grace and turn the other cheek, and then everyone just kind of clashes, and then it's is as easy as one wrong decision, one bad thought, one this could result in, you know, a bad outcome.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

So somebody has to take the high road, I believe, like Danielle. Somebody has to say, you know what, it's really not that serious. Someone else could be having a more worse, a bad day than me. And it takes maturity to say that maybe you're the mature one in that instance, and there's something in the Bible that says the love of the greater number would cool off. And I think we're in that time where people they some people have not been taught how to love, and it's about survival for them, survival of the fittest. But we can't live in the world alone, you cannot live here by yourself. So you have to learn to extend grace and to uh demonstrate or or show some love to the next person, and your neighbor is anybody in this world, it's not just your next door neighbor, anybody you encounter in life is your neighbor.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Yeah, I like what you said, Miss Sabrina, about um, well, and Danny too, because you kind of touched on grace as well, but then also saying that people are raised on survival nowadays, and I think that it's getting kind of worse because um the economy, I I know they say uh money, money don't set you free, but baby, even the Bible say uh money answereth all things. So so uh on a serious note though, do you think that um people are just breaking nowadays and and are just constantly in survival mode? And that's why we are just going so far away from what we're used to, um, just because people just can't take it, you know? It's hard. It's like a like a literal break. Like people are snapping because life isn't as good as we might think that it should be. Do y'all how do y'all feel?

SPEAKER_00 25:32

I think people are breaking, and I I think the pandemic added to everything. And I hate to say this because I might get called on the carpet for it, but artificial intelligence is a plus and it's a minus. And I think that it's going to affect many things down the road. Um, because it could be used for good, but I think it's going to be used to take away some jobs, and people are going to have to go out and try to find different skill sets to acquire. And the challenge of raising kids in this world when there's so many things that are pulling and tugging at them and having having the latest look, the latest shoe, um, being able to drive this kind of car. And I think that's why we're seeing the violence that we're seeing in this world, even in our small communities, and it breaks my heart because we're losing so many young black males. And who's to say that one day one of those gunshots and the barrage of shots that are going around is someone completely innocent, a grandmother, might lose her life in our communities because of the violence. And I think some parents are scared of their kids, so they don't stand their ground, you know. And with that being the case, how can you really rear a child that you're scared of? How can you show that child what love is when you're scared of that child? And I think that's part of the problem too, um, with the love being waning the way it is.

SPEAKER_02 26:59

Wow, that's pretty deep. I mean, I didn't even think about parents being, you know, afraid of their children because, you know, when I grew up, oh boy, I was scared of my mommy real bad. One bad thing, one wrong thing I say in my mommy tearing me up, you know? And so I grew up with kind of that fear, but um, I just always kind of believe like all of our problems go because we have strayed away from the word of God. And a lot of people don't like to say that. But I mean, it's the truth. If we as kids or as children were to have the fear of our parents, like how we fare God, then we wouldn't have these issues. Or maybe even if we take our parents out of it, because sometimes not just because they're your parents, you have to, you know, some people are really bad. We report the news and we see how some how bad some parents are. But if you go back to just having a fear of God, like just being in awe of him and knowing that like he's the reason why you get up every day and are able to do what you can do, and everything like that, and you don't even fear him. How can you fare a man? You don't even fear the person that created you, you know? So, and and and you said something about COVID, Mr. Breno. And Danny, I promise you I'm gonna let you talk. But Calvin Dennis says, It seems to me that it always takes something tragic to bring people together. I remember during 9-11, we came together as one. We all were Americans first. During COVID, we came together helping each other get through those difficult times. But now I feel like we are divided among party lines and race. I do remember a time where you could walk down the street and people would be so nice and speak, but it's rare now. It just doesn't feel the same. How do y'all feel about that?

SPEAKER_00 28:35

I think he's right.

SPEAKER_02 28:37

Yeah, what about you, Danny? I agree, things did change for sure. With COVID?

SPEAKER_01 28:45

I mean just with the times. Like I'm I know this is in my generation, but I always contribute a lot of these things nowadays to the pro social media presence. Like a comparison nowadays, who's doing better, who has this, who has that? Like, and I feel like that's kind of where the line is drawn, and where we kind of lose that sense of caring for one another because it's like, okay, he's not in my class, he don't have the same things. I can how could I even be in the same room as him when he can't even afford the same things or do the same things, or you know, and like you said, um, regarding I forget what it was when you were saying people just want to buy the new things, like survival mode and wanting to have the latest this and have the latest that, and all of this is because of social media and what everyone is allowed to share, like just waking up and seeing these influences just with their big empty house, and it's like so much people aspire to have these things, and it's like that could be a set, like humble yourself, everyone. Let's just return to the basics, let's remember, you know, where we came from, where everyone has this. I I just have a real issue now with the things they allow us to share on social media. It never used to be like that before. It never used to be like no was in the next person's home, how they were living, you know, and so you can really base a lot of your decisions about them on that. But nowadays you could see how everyone's living and the standards that they probably and sometimes you're even hesitant to approach someone because all you're saying is they may look at me a certain type of way or do something because you know they this is the standard that they have, or this is how this is who they associate with. So if we could just take it on back to the basics, but we yeah, like let's let's um what's the word? Like filter what we could share on social media, like you should never be able to see into someone's life like that. Like, see I I just I just hate it. I don't feel like that's a big problem nowadays, and that takes the human aspect away from things because a lot of these things could be AI, like you mentioned. These could not even be real situations, real scenarios, and you know, people just comparing their life, they unhappy, they're on edge now because I unhappy. I have to get it, I gotta, you know what I mean. This this type of lifestyle makes them happy. Okay, so I now need to achieve this lifestyle, whatever it takes, but I gotta scam and rob and do this, and you know, yeah, let's just get it back to everyone's happy with what they have. Yeah, that way you wouldn't even be envious of the next person. You could extend Greece, you could, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 31:15

That's just my thoughts, and I and I do agree with you that um social media, because parents are not teaching their children the difference between reality and people just wanting to flaunt what they might not have. And some things are staged. I'll say for me, I'm not gonna, I'm for the most part, not going to go live or post an image of myself unless I have makeup on. You will rarely see me do a natural thing, but I don't look so different in the natural than I do with the makeup on that someone won't be scared and say, Oh my god, that is shit. You know, but there's but there's sometimes that things like that happen. So when people see you in person, they don't even recognize you. And I think it's okay for people to share when they've made a gain if you're doing it for the sake of encouraging someone else. But if you're just doing it so you can say, hey, look what I got endangling something, that's not loving, it's not kind, because everybody will not be able to attain what you have. And it takes time to attain certain things. We were not, most of us, 99.9% of us, were not born with silver spoons in our mouths. So we will never have everything like that. But to post something, um say you are um you've acquired a certificate or something, and you want to post that and share where you got that certificate and how you got it. I can respect that. But just like these kids who have these bands of dollars that they're fanning on Facebook, but you don't have a job. Okay, so why are you why are you doing this? You know, it's not safe because you're inviting trouble. Some other kid might say, Hey, let's go knock them off for this, you know, or someone can say, Hey, I think I can hit them up for a thousand or two just because they see that. Don't invite that kind of trouble, you know?

SPEAKER_02 33:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:04

But some parents need to know when to draw the line with those things and monitor, especially if your child's a minor, monitor their social media accounts.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

Yeah. And kind of going on that too, I think that we as parents, we do need to step up. I think that if we do want to see things go back to what you would call like the good old days, or just like a more happier, more peaceful, more neighbor having your back type of days, I think that the problem starts and ends and in the home, you know. Like we as parents, we need to step up. We need to teach our children right from wrong. And I know like a lot of like people in my generation, or maybe the generation before me, even, they might not be comfortable enforcing the iron fist a little bit, but that's what part of the problem is. You know what I mean? Like you scared to tear your child hip up, and that's why your child doing foolishness, and that's why they gotta call me to go report on it. And that's not okay. And it starts at home, and it's just about teaching your child one to love yourself. Love, no, know that God has called you to be a king or a queen. Number one, point blank, period. That's who you are. Stop getting off your throne to be dealing with peasants. I don't, I I just I'm sorry, I'm going on a rant because I don't understand it. I don't understand how is it that we as black people don't teach our children that you are literally royalty? What are you doing? What are you doing? And so, um, before I get off topic, we just need to love each other and and be kind to each other and and seriously just in make sure that we instill these principles in our children from young and just have them knowing from young who God has called you to be, so that when you start getting older, I mean everything just goes back to the word. Train up a child in the way that they should go. So when they are old, they will not depart from it. Neither if they stray, because I strayed talking my business. I strayed, you know. I think we all kind of go off course, but once you have that foundation in you of the fruit of the spirit, you being kind to people, you being uh grace, you get extending grace, like you said, Johnny, to people you are uh being your brother's keeper. You always just looking out for somebody, no matter what happens in life, you're gonna return to that. And I feel like we're missing that as a as a as a world. We are missing all of that, and and I hate that for us, but I'm going to be hopeful and say that we might be able to get back to it maybe one day. Amen, amen. I'm hopeful. I know. I'm saying I'm hopeful. I'm saying I'm hopeful, but the darkness is not.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

Like, it's not far-fetched, it's it's obtainable. Like, I don't know why people always put these notions in their head, like, oh, that that'll never happen. That used to happen back in the day. It's possible. It is possible. Try it. Like my like my manager at work says, try it for 30 days and then tell me if it don't work. Let's try it. What's trying? What does it take to try it for 30 days? Everyone just extend the next person grace. 30 days, let's see what happens. You know what I mean? How long does it take to build a habit? Like, let's see. We may get into habit and then be may become natural. It may just become something that you know everybody picks up. Try it 30 days, let's see what comes out of it. Okay, cool.

SPEAKER_00 36:17

There's a saying, there's a saying or expression I've heard as far as it depends upon you, do you do what you know is right. And maybe you'll encourage someone else to do the same thing. Because you it can it can rub off. But one thing I do know with the with the kids, if you have one kid, this good kid, that's trying to um influence or encourage all these other kids to change, it might not happen. So that kid does not need to associate with those kids, and parents need to help their children to choose their friends because that's a very, very serious matter. And in the culture, in our culture, sometimes the kids have not been taught to make eye contact. But if you don't make eye contact with me, I can't trust you. That's how I grew up. You gotta be able to look at people in the eye, you gotta be able to look them in the eye.

SPEAKER_02 37:05

So those are some things that yes, I I love those. And so as we wrap up tonight, because I want to give everybody a chance to enjoy the rest of the night, right? Let's do this, right? Danny, I'm gonna take you at your 30-day challenge. So for everybody who's watching, for the next 30 days, let's just what do you call pass it along? Like, what's that thing? Like, if you in the drive-thru line and you buy food for the person behind you, and then that person's supposed to pay it, pay it forward. Let's pay it forward for the next 30 days. That's gonna be our challenge for the next 30 days, thanks to Danielle. Um, we are going to smile, or at least if you could smile at five people or say hi or speak to somebody five people every day. I think we can probably see a little difference. And then let's try it for 30 days. Five people just that you don't know, just good morning. How are you doing? Have a good day. Oh, hello, especially old people. You can't just speak to old people.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Definitely connections or form just based on that. You never know.

SPEAKER_02 38:08

You never point that's a good point because people really think that um money is taking throughout this world, baby, networking and connections. That's manners and respect, networking, manners and respect. They take you all over the world. It surely does that's my way to say, so you just never know. So go ahead for the next 30 days, five people a day, just say something kind, and then let's see what happens in the next 30 days, and maybe yay, Miss Barbara says she's on a 30-day challenge. Okay, Danny, come on with your challenge then. So for the next 30 days, five people a day just speak in, saying hi, hello, how you doing, have a good day, and help an old person cross the road. Hi with that.

SPEAKER_00 38:49

So listen, I'm gonna start right now, Danny, Danielle. So I just want to say hello and thank you and Shanti for allowing me to be a part of this. And I'd like to know what your profession is.

SPEAKER_01 39:04

Well, no, nice to meet you, Miss Sabrina. Thank you so much for that. I am actually a patient care for Water Data in a dental office. So I do with all patient interactions and making people feel confident in their smiles, even when they're not. You know, I do that every day for a living. I love making connections and meeting new people and just encouraging them when they're probably at their lowest and they're you know in an environment where they feel like they're gonna be judged. And it's like all love. Like that's what they know me around there for. All love, all smiles. I can encourage the person who comes in shaking in their boots, don't want to get there, and they know that a kind word or a they know like a friend is coming, you know what I mean? They're gonna that's gonna be the first face they see. That's gonna be the last conversation before they get in um a friend. Any questions, any concerns? You got me.

SPEAKER_00 39:52

Wonderful, wonderful, and you have a beautiful smile.

SPEAKER_02 39:56

She does. Look, Jason Cole says that he's gonna hop in on the challenge and hope that it works out. So, hey Jason, thank you for hopping in on our challenge. Morning, morning, morning. Hope you have a good day tomorrow. So I said a morning, morning, morning thing because that's just something that Bamians say. They don't say good morning for real. They just say morning, morning, morning.

SPEAKER_01 40:16

Acknowledgement, you know. Acknowledgement to let you know, like I see you. Yeah, I see you. Good morning, morning.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

Yeah, so morning, morning, morning, Jason, and morning, morning, morning, Miss Barbara. And thank y'all for um staying on this long and um agreeing to do our 30-day challenge. Five people every day for 30 days just speaking, saying hi, hello, have a good day. And thank you both for um agreeing to do this because it's the first time that I'm doing like a Facebook live or whatever. So, and it was just I don't know, it just was time the timing was perfect. It was perfect because I just came back from home and I was like, we gotta talk about this. So I appreciate y'all for being my first people, and I hope that we could do this again. This was fun. We may do a 30 day 30 day update. That's what we can do. Yeah, 30 day check in. Yes, okay. Well, thank y'all, and I hope that y'all have a wonderful, wonderful night. And thank you guys for staying on live with us too. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, Danny. Thanks, Mr. Brina, and thank you guys. Have a good night.

SPEAKER_00 41:13

You too. Good night.