The Cast Kidneys Around - Ep. 63

Jojo is guzzling water to try to beat his upcoming kidney test 

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

This episode of Jojo on the go contains references to suicide, which may be distressing for some listeners. Listener discretion is advised. Live from the holiday pools and spa studios.

SPEAKER_06 0:17

Presented by Pizza Knight Altoona.

SPEAKER_03 0:21

Jojo on the go. Oh hi. Hey, what's going on?

SPEAKER_02 0:26

I feel like I haven't seen you.

SPEAKER_04 0:28

I know, like your hair's grown out. I still explain you over canning.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

I actually I need to cut it so desperately. I want to cut it like this short.

SPEAKER_04 0:36

We gotta hurry this episode up because I have to go get my kidney tests again. What is it happening? I don't know. You know, I thought I had good lab results, but I missed the ones where my kidneys were like all red in the barred.

SPEAKER_02 0:50

Oh my god, that's a that's a first of all, sorry, my light just like decided to pop on. Um let's just make it all about Jannah. It's a big thing to ignore.

SPEAKER_04 0:59

Your light?

SPEAKER_02 1:00

No, you're your your red kidney. How did the doctor not follow up with you and say, uh, yeah, this is a concern?

SPEAKER_04 1:07

It did, I believe. Oh, you ignored.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

You're like, no, that's not what I want to hear. Tell me something else.

SPEAKER_04 1:13

I get the the phone call from the office and you know, the voicemail transcribing saying, Don't forget, doc, want you to come back in six weeks, take another blood test. And I'm like, You're funny. And then the next day they called me five times.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Okay, so this is like major.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

This is important. I don't think it's that major. I just think that they're picking on me.

SPEAKER_05 1:36

And now you're trying to beat the test by drinking as much water as possible.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

Right. I mean, first of all, water is something that you have to consume on a daily basis. Obviously, you don't. Also, if a doctor has to track you down, like that's when you know it's concerning because they usually don't give a shit. I'm sorry, medical community. I know, I know most of you do. You're just busy.

SPEAKER_04 1:58

He's we're friends, we go way back. So he'll hunt me to the ends of the earth for an opportunity to torture me, like friends do.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

Whatever it takes. Well, it's working. Thank God.

SPEAKER_04 2:10

I mean, he obviously is concerned, so yeah. Uh I was told to come in very hydrated because I have to do blood and you know, piss. So I don't know. I can't give both the same that's asking a lot for me.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

And the fact that you're saying that is the major concern. It's a lot of work. It might croak from actually excreting all of these fluids.

SPEAKER_04 2:32

Too many fluids. I mean, one or the other. Pick. And usually I'm so dehydrated when I go in, my veins are so thick, it's just I just lie there for 20 minutes while she tries to get like any of the blood to come out, and I'm like, uh it is the irony, right?

SPEAKER_02 2:46

I I feel like I've heard this before from other people who either are in the medical community or live with someone who's in the medical community. You would think you'd be of the utmost concern and health based on the fact that your wife is a nurse manager.

SPEAKER_04 3:01

Oh God, that just makes it worse. That's one one of my wife's phrases is just drink water. Like she doesn't say hello. That's a greeting. You see her and she'll just say, drink water.

SPEAKER_02 3:13

That's her tagline.

SPEAKER_04 3:14

Boopy.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

How was your day?

SPEAKER_04 3:16

Bad. Drink water. That's a good deflection.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

Yeah, when you don't want to talk about something, you just deflect the water.

SPEAKER_04 3:26

I don't remember as a kid everyone being obsessed with with water. We've No, I agree with that.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Because you know, I send my daughter with a water bottle every day. Like a big, a big thing. Never. I we never had that. We had the water fountain and you had to wait behind 18 other kids in line. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 3:41

And it dribbled. There's green moss all over there. I do understand that. Totally. You know, you have to go to school with a water bottle.

SPEAKER_05 3:47

You didn't put your mouth on the nozzle to get anything.

SPEAKER_02 3:50

Well, and that's the thing. So nowadays, you go to the park and my kid sees the water fountain as an activity. She, oh my God, can we go over there? And I have to, as soon as she takes, first of all, all five fingers have to press on the thing because she can't seem to push it down because it's the old school one. And all of a sudden I'm like, Don't touch the metal, don't touch the metal.

SPEAKER_05 4:10

So you have water fountains that work near you? Like, no, that's weird. None of the water fountains work around here. Really?

SPEAKER_04 4:16

Like the payphones.

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I mean, I can't tell you they're safe or something, but they're there.

SPEAKER_04 4:21

They're like the porcelain toilet ones.

SPEAKER_02 4:23

You have to like watch it first, make sure the water's clear, and then be like, all right, take a sip.

SPEAKER_04 4:28

Yeah, you gotta push it for like 15 seconds to let the pre-water come out.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

And it hurts your thumb. It really's that so gross.

SPEAKER_04 4:39

I don't know. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, now you're hitting it? Oh man. The button for the water fountain.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Alright, so point taken. You're getting your kidneys checked out. You need to get your kidneys taken out.

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Who wants to drink that shit?

SPEAKER_02 4:55

Right.

SPEAKER_04 4:57

Then they're like, here, drink this. It's plastic. Right. No wonder there's all these problems in the lab results.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

At least you know what you're getting when you're drinking liquor.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

So how's your tap water? Can you drink tap water there? Our tap water is filtered like 18 different ways, and I still won't touch it.

SPEAKER_02 5:14

Oh, really? I drink, I tell everyone. In fact, they always do the like eyebrow, like, what where do I get my water? And I'm like, out of the sink. Because I have a f I have a filtration system. Like it's it's as best as you're gonna be able to get. It's it's not hard water, there's no chemicals in it. Like, check out my sink, bitch.

SPEAKER_04 5:29

Jenna, you probably have what I have the reverse osmosis system.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

Oh, no, so the prior owner installed that, but then I never replaced any of the filters, so I don't use that in my own.

SPEAKER_04 5:42

When you come off, you can have three.

SPEAKER_02 5:43

But then he did a double take because he put one of those like salt tanks in the basement.

SPEAKER_04 5:48

We had one of them too.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Yeah, and so that's what I use. Um and uh it works.

SPEAKER_04 5:54

I like who bought this house. I opened up the salt tank just to have a look see, because I'd never seen anything. Like, what the hell is this? No, it's weird. I lift it up and it's filled with like camel light cigarette butts.

SPEAKER_02 6:06

Oh, yeah, no wonder you took that out. Oh my god, do you know what? Oh my god, you're you were in the shower and you're probably like, why does my hair smell smoky? Like, who decided this was an ashtray? Hey, Colgan man. Ew, that's disgusting. And it probably was like near the water boiler and stuff, and that could have blown up real quick.

SPEAKER_04 6:26

We ripped it right out of here. Don't you worry. It can't hurt you anymore.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

It's funny how you call me Rich. Jeez.

SPEAKER_04 6:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:33

Came with the house.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

Loaded. It's tobacco tea. Speaking of which, Jenna's known us for like a hundred years, or at least me. Jagger, she's known for like at least a year. And she doesn't know if either one of us have siblings.

SPEAKER_02 6:50

I mean, I just feel like I I really just give you guys my heart and soul, and you know everything about me. Not that you remember it, but you know it. And uh, I don't feel like I was thinking about this the other day, and it actually kept me up for a little bit, thinking, do either one of them have a sibling and what is their relationship like? Like, I had so many concerns and questions that like now you have to disclose.

SPEAKER_05 7:13

I like how her diagnosis of the situation is. Oh, I say all about me all the time, and you guys never contribute. No, we can't get a word in.

SPEAKER_02 7:21

Oh, really? Is that the case? Stuck on that.

SPEAKER_04 7:29

Melance, you're about you're gonna be halfway through your story last week, and I tried to tell you, and you didn't listen. No, I don't have any siblings.

SPEAKER_02 7:41

You know what? I had a feeling. Well, then I I thought to myself, well, the reason why it's never been brought up is because they don't have any. Like it's actually pretty basic. Why I was overthinking this is beyond me. It's like I must know every inch about them.

SPEAKER_05 7:57

I'm the youngest of five.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Shut the f up. Are you serious? Yeah, is he joking?

SPEAKER_05 8:03

No, I'm I'm I'm the youngest of five, but um, there are only two of us left. Three are deceased.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

Oh, oh well that's well that's that's that's still a story. That's still a story why we haven't heard about it.

SPEAKER_04 8:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

Okay. All right. Do they live in Florida?

SPEAKER_05 8:18

Three are dead. Three are dead, yes. Um one same time? No, no, different times. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 8:26

Wasn't our final destination thing.

SPEAKER_05 8:28

Oh, Jesus. So it's a very, very sweet story. One uh died by suicide.

SPEAKER_04 8:34

Um alive themselves. God bless.

SPEAKER_05 8:38

I don't say that shit.

SPEAKER_04 8:39

No. I thought you have to on social media. I don't know the rules anymore. Well, you don't have to talk about your dead brother on social media. First of all, I don't think we should bury the lead that they are no longer with us because of that. That's terrible. Yeah, just now we have three more sad stories to go through. Two more. Wow pain.

SPEAKER_05 8:57

One was one was an attempted um death by suicide that didn't didn't go well. Um I guess it did go well, actually.

SPEAKER_02 9:05

What? Well, if you're trying and that not for them, but for the world, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:10

No, I mean she she attempted, uh it didn't work out at first, but ultimately uh that was the cause. Uh and then my latest one, my brother that was closest to me, he passed from lung cancer back in November.

SPEAKER_04 9:25

Oh man. Well, Jenna, any other uplifting questions?

SPEAKER_02 9:28

Yeah, no, I was I was gonna say, so this is a great segue into uh if you have any mental health concerns, you should probably seek a professional or join Emotions Anonymous or something like that. Talk about your your issues. Um the people, if you if you love someone and you're concerned, definitely don't just skate on by and ignore it because this is these are tragedies.

SPEAKER_04 9:50

Janna did that to me once. I was telling her how upset I was and she just went by and ice skates.

SPEAKER_05 9:56

And you could dial uh 988 too if you need to have the numbers.

SPEAKER_04 10:00

I knew it started with the hotline. I didn't want to get it.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Oh, the hotline, that's for sure. You are never alone. Wow, um, okay, so let's No, he's got two more at least. Where are they?

SPEAKER_05 10:15

One more.

SPEAKER_02 10:15

One more. Oh, yeah, five.

SPEAKER_05 10:17

I'm the other one, so the two of us, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

You talk to yourself enough. So where does your uh sibling live?

SPEAKER_05 10:23

Uh she's in North Carolina.

SPEAKER_02 10:25

Okay. Are you guys close?

SPEAKER_05 10:27

We're not. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 10:28

Okay, this is actually I didn't expect any of this. All right, so should I start talking shit about my siblings too, just to make it even?

SPEAKER_05 10:35

Like, well, now we know why we talk about you most of the time.

SPEAKER_04 10:39

Oh man. Oh god. Yeah, before this podcast started, Janna's like, and I just realized I don't know if you guys have brothers or sisters, so we'll bring that up, and I'm thinking that'll be fine. We'll go back to the next one.

SPEAKER_02 10:50

No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. You actually said, should I answer now? And I said, no, wait.

SPEAKER_05 10:55

Yeah, I waited.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

You should have answered now.

SPEAKER_04 10:58

This is gonna be the first episode where all of it is edited out.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

Well, the good news is I haven't laughed like that in a while with you guys, mostly because you have you guys.

SPEAKER_05 11:11

I'm bringing the comedy.

SPEAKER_02 11:13

We're turning tragedy to comedy real quick. Once again, down 988. Oh, yeah. No, please, seriously. Talking with someone about your thoughts and feelings can save your life. There are steps you can take to keep yourself safe through a crisis. Call or text 988 anytime, or chat online with the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. You can also visit findsupport.gov to get support and find resources on asking for help, preparing for treatment, or finding low or no cost support. You are not alone. And I am a mental health advocate. I am a part of several groups, so uh yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:49

That's good. I really wouldn't want someone who's anti-mental health to be on the show.

SPEAKER_02 11:54

All right, Mr. Kidney. You know what? I'm gonna punch you in one. How are you gonna feel then?

SPEAKER_04 11:59

Thanks for reminding me. I gotta drink my water.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

You have two, right? You could do without one.

SPEAKER_04 12:04

What's your creatine levels? Yeah, they're that's the problem.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Probably the problem, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

Yeah, they're in the red. Uh oh.

SPEAKER_02 12:12

Oh, Jesus.

unknown 12:13

All right.

SPEAKER_04 12:13

I drank water yesterday, so there'd be it's gonna be fine today.

SPEAKER_02 12:17

I would ask you what caused it, but I know what's caused it. You know, my mom texted me the other day, uh, because she asked, she's oh, is there an episode? And I said, No, he's not feeling good. He gets sick a lot. And I said, I said, Mom, it's been a lifetime of just treating the body like a temple. I said, Don't worry, he's getting tested on Monday. Yeah. Oh, good, oh good. He needs to see his doctor.

SPEAKER_04 12:46

Do you think if they tell me that I need to have kidney dialysis that I'm gonna go and do that? Does that sound like something that that I would do?

SPEAKER_02 12:54

Should we should we join you for the first appointment?

SPEAKER_04 12:57

That'll be the only appointment, just to get material.

SPEAKER_05 12:59

You know, that's if you don't, you'll have two weeks left. That's as far as you can go.

SPEAKER_04 13:04

I saw my dad go through dialysis. I don't, you know, God bless you.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

Let's cross that bridge when we get there.

SPEAKER_04 13:10

That rainbow bridge by three this afternoon.

SPEAKER_02 13:13

Do you know Fee asked me the other day? She's like, Mom, um, you mentioned that like when it when it's thundering that it's people in heaven bowling.

SPEAKER_04 13:23

And I said, You said, old man, you do a podcast?

SPEAKER_02 13:26

Yeah, they're on the rainbow bridge. Like, she goes, I thought that was only animals. And so now I'm trying to like pull out of my ass, like, do humans go on the rainbow bridge as well? Well, how is the bridge big enough for all the animals? I'm like, I really regret this conversation completely. I'm like, you know what? The the adults are bowling, the animals are are down on the bridge. All right, let's call it a day.

SPEAKER_04 13:47

I thought God was bowling.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

Oh, god, not that's not what I was told growing up. I was bowling.

SPEAKER_04 13:52

I thought God was bowling.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Give me a sign. I actually signed up for a bowling league, did I tell you guys?

SPEAKER_04 13:56

What are you, 80?

SPEAKER_02 13:58

Really? I thought it would be fun. I thought you get a pitcher of beer, you like you bowl. I mean, there's probably gonna be 80 year olds there, but okay. I thought it was a good time.

SPEAKER_05 14:06

It's like Are you a good bowler? What's your average score?

SPEAKER_02 14:10

Uh no, I'm not a good bowler. I enjoy it though thoroughly. So uh I thought isn't good enough good enough? Like I wanted to join a kickball league, but there were none. I don't know. It's like, I don't know, maybe maybe sometimes like 90, maybe sometimes 120. Like, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 14:26

That's decent. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:28

I don't even know. Great. Then I'm glad I signed up.

SPEAKER_04 14:30

Is it global?

SPEAKER_02 14:31

It starts in September. Uh and it's only for like 16 weeks. So I figure, let me just try it out, just put myself out there. You know, I'm always trying to make friends. So date someone on the team. I do have a secret admirer.

SPEAKER_05 14:46

Do too.

SPEAKER_02 14:48

So I I went away this weekend to Pennsylvania, not by you, Jojo. No, that's no, that's in two weeks. So, and you've already said you're like, oh, Saturday this day, I have an event. All right, so how are we even gonna hang out? Like, hello.

SPEAKER_04 15:00

You drive by and pull into the parking lot all the same.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

Now I gotta go to an event. Are they gonna pay me too? Um, anyway, so I went to my friend's house for her daughter's birthday in Pennsylvania, and I came home and uh late last night, and I found this on my front lawn. It's a bundle of lavender.

SPEAKER_04 15:16

Oh, you're dead.

SPEAKER_02 15:17

Which someone either someone's trying to poison me, they know that I desperately need relaxation and lavender, or they're just like really sweet because I I love lavender, and like this is just so nice.

SPEAKER_04 15:28

I think it's the devil, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:29

It smells delicious, and there's no bumblebees in it, so that's a win.

SPEAKER_05 15:33

You have no idea who left that?

SPEAKER_02 15:35

There's no note. There's just a picture of butterflies on lavender. Unless this is a note, I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 15:41

It's probably the note.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Oh no, it just says how to care for a fresh lavender. Oh, good, I was wondering about that. No, no idea. I could probably look up the address and then the address is it's not even near me. It's like kind of far.

SPEAKER_04 15:57

686 Bielzebub Lane.

SPEAKER_05 16:00

Well, that's probably just the address of the lavender farm, not the Nalty Admirer.

SPEAKER_02 16:05

Yeah, exactly. I there'd be no way to piecemeal that.

SPEAKER_04 16:07

We'll literally kill my wife. Really? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:11

Glad she didn't get one then.

SPEAKER_04 16:12

Don't accidentally put that in the car when you come up here, Jenna. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 16:15

Wink wink. I won't even put I won't even put my essential oils on then.

SPEAKER_04 16:20

Oh no. Don't you dare.

SPEAKER_05 16:23

Lavender and green tea are the two things that really it's not me that sent that to you, so you don't accidentally bring it.

SPEAKER_00 16:30

Right.

SPEAKER_02 16:33

Oh man.

SPEAKER_04 16:34

Yes, green tea and lavender are her kryptonite.

SPEAKER_02 16:37

Those are so random. How did she ever discover that? Because, like, unless you force fed me like green tea, I I really don't drink it, so I feel like that's not a typical thing. And also, lavender is not the most typical scent.

SPEAKER_04 16:50

Or maybe it's ginseng.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Well, that's even weirder. See, my girlfriend have tasted ginseng.

SPEAKER_05 16:56

My girlfriend's allergies are very convenient. Like, she's like, Oh, I'm allergic to dust. Do you mind dusting? Right. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 17:04

That's my wife, too. Lightly now.

SPEAKER_05 17:08

She's allergic to grass. And so, okay, I guess I'm mowing the lawn. Well, you do anyway.

SPEAKER_04 17:14

My brain can't even process seeing my wife push a lawnmower. It's not even something I could imagine. Really? I did it one time. It's a magic dragon easier than I can see that in my head.

SPEAKER_02 17:22

Oh my god. See, and that's where it's like now being the, I know you guys hate this, but being the man of the house, the woman of the house, I have to take on these things. And uh I'm sure it looks weird to the community when I'm weed whacking outside. I'm sure. I'm sure home values are decreasing.

SPEAKER_05 17:41

You have one of those like ancient sickles, or are you doing it electric? How are you doing it?

SPEAKER_02 17:45

I'm using my mouth.

SPEAKER_05 17:47

Like a goat law.

SPEAKER_02 17:49

You know, actually, so at my friend's house in Pennsylvania, she lives in very rural Pennsylvania, and her neighbor was a woman, and she was sitting on the uh lawn. She had one of those like motorized ones.

SPEAKER_04 18:00

Her neighbor was a woman and was sitting on.

SPEAKER_02 18:03

And uh and so that was pretty cool. But I was like, Yeah, I I wanted one of those. I rode one once when I worked uh on the radio. We wrote I rode it in the backyard. The landscapers were going, and I just like ran outside. I was like, Can I ride your John Deere? And they let me.

SPEAKER_04 18:16

She was doing anything other than being on the air with me. She was riding down 99 and all that.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

I was all down for adventures. Yeah, like anything that I had never. I'm like, I'm a sheltered New Yorker.

SPEAKER_04 18:26

Can I climb in the transmitter with the engineer?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Can I have a stab at this? Shooting guns, like doing the whole nine. I am down for anything. Someone asked me the other day, they're like, Oh, would you want to see this movie? And I was like, or no, they asked me something of like a is this something you would want to do? I said, There's very few things I don't want to do. Like, hello.

SPEAKER_05 18:49

Is that a is that an invitation or just passive aggressiveness?

SPEAKER_02 18:52

No, it was an invitation.

SPEAKER_05 18:53

Would you want to do this?

SPEAKER_02 18:54

No, because they were like, Oh, I want to go, but I don't really have I was like, Yeah, I'm down. That's fine.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

Janna's full of adventure. Janna Adventure Banana.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

Yep.

SPEAKER_04 19:04

So the hot new color of the summer before it's too late, everyone, is butter yellow. Butter.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

That feels almost like it would be a spring color, not summer. Um I taking it too seriously.

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Everybody dressed like butter in the 50s, like with a white hat and then like a yellow. I'm thinking of flight attendance.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

I'm here for it. I love I love yellow. I think it's a beautiful color.

SPEAKER_04 19:27

I just think you're thinking of movie theater popcorn.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Oh, yeah. Yeah, fake butter yellow.

SPEAKER_04 19:33

Neon.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:35

That's what did it to my kidneys.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Yeah. I have no doubt. Oh, I actually had some of that.

SPEAKER_04 19:41

I can't believe it's not butter.

SPEAKER_05 19:44

I can't believe they're not working.

SPEAKER_04 19:46

I mean, I could easily believe it wasn't butter because you had to like shake it out of a thing, right? Or wasn't that No, I thought it was in the tub. Oh, yeah, but there was something that you shook, like pepper.

SPEAKER_02 19:57

Like parmesan cheese that's really made of wood chips.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

It turned into liquid.

SPEAKER_02 20:02

What was that called? It's before my time. Yeah. As usual. Anything that has like a a word in there that sounds scientific, I'm like, that's not going in my body.

SPEAKER_04 20:16

Butterflakes.

SPEAKER_02 20:18

Yeah, this is a dandruff.

SPEAKER_04 20:22

No, I'm gonna find it now. Now I'm all upset.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

Drink your water. Oh god, thanks.

SPEAKER_04 20:31

The hell is it called? Tiger, why can't you help? You're old. I have no idea what you're talking about.

SPEAKER_05 20:36

Butterflies.

SPEAKER_02 20:38

That two-year difference made a difference because he has no idea what you're saying.

SPEAKER_04 20:43

It was in a container, like salt or pepper. What was the name of the fake butterflakes in a container? Butter powder? It was kind of like butter powder, but it had a name. Molly McButter. Molly McButter.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Really?

SPEAKER_04 20:59

How did you know? Molly McButter or her cousin Butterbuds. Molly McButter, yes. Yes. They're butter-flavored sprinkles.

SPEAKER_02 21:09

That should be your new pet name for boopy.

SPEAKER_04 21:11

I think they still have these. Like you can buy what, butter buds? Yeah. Or Molly McButter. You you pick your poison. That'll go over real well.

SPEAKER_02 21:21

Can't go any worse than what it's now.

SPEAKER_04 21:24

See, now that's something that I would blame for poor organ function on.

SPEAKER_02 21:28

Yeah. We can start making a list if you want. I mean, I don't think the doctor the doctor clearly doesn't care. He's like, I know what did it to you. Everything.

SPEAKER_05 21:38

I need to add some Molly McButter to my Walmart order, I think. It's yeah, butter buds.

SPEAKER_04 21:44

Hell yeah. Butterbuns. Actually, speaking of your Walmart order, it was brought to my attention. Janna's greatly fascinated with what we put on our grocery list, and she wants to know immediately.

SPEAKER_02 21:55

You know, I I I guess I'm weird, right? Because people hate going to the grocery store. We've talked about this before of getting the Instacart deliveries versus actually going out to the store. I thoroughly enjoy going there. I really should be an Instacart shopper, but I won't. Um I'm always curious of what people's lists look like. Sometimes I look at their baskets as they're checking out and I'm like, that's an it, that's an interesting array. Or like I know for me, sometimes I did my shop, but I need to get one thing. And then so it's just like random items. And so I really think it's kind of telling as to who someone is. So give me an example of of what one of your lists would look like, and then I'll read you some of mine.

SPEAKER_05 22:31

First of all, that's what people need at the grocery store, you judging them by their own.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

I'm not saying it to them. I'm staying my hand.

SPEAKER_05 22:42

Clearly.

SPEAKER_04 22:43

Did you just judge that we didn't understand you?

SPEAKER_02 22:46

If that's what you call a judgment, I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 22:49

Jeez, guys, it's not a phase. Ugh.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

Uh anyway, can I have an example, please?

SPEAKER_01 22:56

My butterfly era.

SPEAKER_05 22:57

I can actually go straight to my Walmart order from last week.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

Exactly what I'm doing. Perfect. Let's see.

SPEAKER_05 23:03

In my cart, there was a 12-count of sparkling ice variety pack. It's a sparkling water.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

Yep, I've had those.

SPEAKER_05 23:10

Uh, we've had uh some homemade hot honey cornbread baking mix. I haven't made that yet. That's gonna go with some ham and beans.

SPEAKER_04 23:17

Honey corn ham and beans? You can't be eating these things.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Are you living in central Pennsylvania? I'm confused. Yeah, sounds like I'm gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_04 23:23

Why do I have to get my kidneys tested?

SPEAKER_05 23:25

Let's see this guy's menu. I was born in Pittsburgh, man. So just because I live here in Pennsylvania. These tracks. We have some uh chopped clams. A can of chopped clams are in there. That's for a clam dip. What the hell's wrong with you? We got some ruffles to go along with that to dip. I've got some uh chocolate caramel nut K pods for my coffee machine. Some distilled water for my CPAP.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

Listen, you always gotta stock up on that. I I I respect that.

SPEAKER_05 23:58

Yeah. Now, do you flavor your CPAP water? I don't know. I got some I got some lemons I can squeeze in there.

SPEAKER_02 24:04

Are you serious?

SPEAKER_04 24:05

Crystal light. Are you supposed to do that? Okay. No, no, no, no, no, don't recommend that. No, please do not flavor your CPAP water.

SPEAKER_02 24:11

I'm so nervous to see my neurologist because he's gonna say, you don't use this, and I'm gonna say, You're braked. No my CPAP. There's a multiple days in a week that I don't use it.

SPEAKER_05 24:25

Fresh asparagus? That's in there.

SPEAKER_02 24:28

Oh, the first produce. I'm here to go. Look how good with the can of clams.

SPEAKER_05 24:33

Some sour cream to make the clam dip. Uh God. Some cream of chicken soup.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

I think we get the just now. Can't you just get fresh clams?

SPEAKER_04 24:41

You wouldn't have a few. Isn't there?

unknown 24:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:45

Okay. Uh, Jojo, let's hear yours.

SPEAKER_04 24:48

I don't know if it's ours now. I feel like that's good.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

No, I'm I'm a little nervous too.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

All right. Well, I'd like to start off with Centrum Silver.

SPEAKER_02 24:56

Oh. Nice. Tracks.

SPEAKER_04 25:01

You'll like this one. Um, Barilla, whole wheat, thin pasta.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

Yeah, I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_04 25:07

Briar's all natural vanilla.

SPEAKER_05 25:10

Oh, okay, but that's healthy if it's all natural.

SPEAKER_04 25:12

Oh my god, my list is so different. Remember when Briar's every single flavor was all natural? Now it's just vanilla's the.

SPEAKER_02 25:19

Everything has natural flavor in it, and you don't know what that means.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

Janna, I am older and smarter than you. You will respect me. And I know it was all natural, every flavor when I was six. Really? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:34

No, when you were six, I'm sure. I'm saying nowadays everything says on it natural flavor, like literally, it's one of the ingredients, natural flavoring.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

Oh, yeah, that's like, was it beaver as glands?

SPEAKER_05 25:43

When you were six, they were churning the butter and and making the cream, so it was all natural. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:48

Yeah, the butter, butter, butter, whatever.

SPEAKER_04 25:50

You see, things went south because somewhere between that, it went from real briars to sprinkling Molly McButter on your food. Yes. Blueberries is on my list.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

Oh, I'm proud of you on that.

SPEAKER_04 26:00

Um great value French onion dip because I don't want to take the effort of making some clam dip. There you go. And then to go with that, of course, the party-sized bag of Frito's scoops. GR deli dark chocolate brownie box batter.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Ooh, those are good.

SPEAKER_02 26:17

Did you call it GR deli?

SPEAKER_01 26:19

He did.

SPEAKER_04 26:20

Gear deli.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

Girardeli.

SPEAKER_05 26:23

Gear deli.

SPEAKER_04 26:26

Heinz. Yes. Chicken gravy and it's a big.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

Oh, I thought you were gonna say ketchup. Okay.

SPEAKER_04 26:32

To go with the Hawaiian rolls.

SPEAKER_02 26:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 26:35

And then there's a vegetable tray because I'm too lazy to cut vegetables. Uh ground turkey, Jana, you'll be happy to know it's on the list. Nice.

SPEAKER_02 26:44

I'm good.

SPEAKER_04 26:44

Um, and all these healthy things are for my wife's lunch. Then there's the uh uh Lysol. Okay, I'm done.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Alright, so you guys do stick to uh a certain type, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_05 27:02

I I almost don't stereotype me by my grocery list. It's one week.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

I yeah, I know. I almost don't even want to read my also I I'm like scrolling through my Wegman's orders and I'm like a lot of it because when I only have her half.

SPEAKER_04 27:14

Oh my god. First of all, she throws in Wegmans because we're so we're already out of the game. Do you know what Wegmans is?

SPEAKER_02 27:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 27:20

Oh wow, I'm too poor to even know what Wegman's is now. They don't really have them anymore. Or the shots, shots fired.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

There's none in your area.

SPEAKER_04 27:27

Are there any in State College? I'll have you know, I'll have you know that for the 4th of July, I treated my family to food from Wegmans for our barbecue at the Airbnb that was infested with food.

SPEAKER_02 27:38

Oh, because you were in Erie. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_04 27:41

Yes, because I was in Erie. I'm saying there's not one in your area.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

Right, because you wanted to. I get it. It's a it's just a closest.

SPEAKER_04 27:50

Do you even know what Wegmans is, JoJo?

SPEAKER_01 27:52

When was it put into central Pennsylvania? It's in it's freaking in state college right now. Well, now you know when how skip and a jump 45 minutes later.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

Mine only came by me last year, so I think it's a legitimate question.

SPEAKER_05 28:06

Excuse me, my Wegman's order is gold-plated corn.

SPEAKER_04 28:10

Jet, you're just trying to find the clamato at Piggly Wiggly.

SPEAKER_05 28:13

I have diamond crusted ramen. I have champagne.

SPEAKER_04 28:19

I want to hear Janna's Wegman's order now.

SPEAKER_02 28:22

Okay, so this is this is like the largest one I've had in a while. Um, because she said a lot of yeah. A lot of times, I'm not gonna lie, I go to two extremes when I don't have my daughter. I either go, I'm gonna cook a fully like put together meal, and I usually post those on my Instagram stories, or I go full-on girl dinner and it's like pretzels and like maybe a cheese stick.

SPEAKER_04 28:46

And those are on her MySpace stories. Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

So anyway, so this order, I know I'm gonna be judged by this. Um uh organic extra firm tofu.

SPEAKER_04 28:55

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

Natural peanut butter, um, canned sardines because I'm trying to get omega 3s, and even though I hate them.

SPEAKER_04 29:03

Wait a minute, isn't it like all salt? Like I'm getting jug free. No, it's in water.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

They're in water. Um, okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:09

That wrenches the salt off.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

Uh boneless, skinless chicken breast.

SPEAKER_05 29:15

Yeah, that's good.

SPEAKER_02 29:15

Uh pork tenderloin, chicken thighs, bone-in. I was stocking up on some uh meat then.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

And then I just skinless chicken breasts. It sounds like it's being insulted. You gutless, spineless.

SPEAKER_02 29:26

And then bananas and pears.

SPEAKER_04 29:29

Ah. Okay. I hate that.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

So pretty simple.

SPEAKER_04 29:32

Pretty good. Lots of chop up the bananas and pears and a lot of like produce stuff.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Because I look at my next one and it was like uh I got canned salmon and then baby cut carrots, cucumbers, raspberries, bananas, russet potatoes, tomatoes, and red onion. So like I I do a lot of produce stuff, and I really only buy snacks when like I need to get it from my daughter. I I do need to stock up on some ice pops, I think. Or but I like to make a lot of stuff too.

SPEAKER_04 29:54

So I make things out of where do you find the energy within?

SPEAKER_02 29:59

Within. Yeah. You what choice do you have as a single mom? You know, you just gotta do you just gotta do it. No, I wouldn't. I would I barely vanilla. She barely even eats fast food when she's with me, you know. I very rarely, very, very rarely.

SPEAKER_04 30:14

You got that Wegmans in her.

SPEAKER_05 30:16

Yeah, she's like torn between Wegmans and McDonald's.

SPEAKER_02 30:19

I buy chicken nuggets like from Costco. I buy the chicken chunks from Kirkland and they're great. Uh, I'll feed her those.

SPEAKER_04 30:25

Chicken chunks.

SPEAKER_02 30:26

Alternative.

SPEAKER_04 30:27

Shout out Kirkland.

SPEAKER_02 30:28

Yeah. Don't you not have one by you either? Isn't it Sam's?

SPEAKER_04 30:34

Wait, what's Kirkland is a thing? Costco's. That's a brand of hot dogs. Now you now you're turning.

SPEAKER_05 30:41

Kirkland's was like a men's store or something. Go to Kirkland's to get a new suit. Oh no.

SPEAKER_04 30:45

Buy Kirkland's.

SPEAKER_05 30:46

I don't know. What kind of beverage you got there? Cherry Value Cherry?

SPEAKER_02 30:53

No, it's a prebiotic soda, cherry cola from Trader Joe's. And it tastes it tastes like a cherry slushy from a movie theater. I love it.

SPEAKER_04 31:02

And what's in it? Like vitamins?

SPEAKER_02 31:03

It's got five grams of fiber. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:06

See, I thought I caught you drinking something for. I thought it was like a great value soda. Nope. Trader Joe's.

SPEAKER_02 31:12

I'm either drinking water coffee or I'll occasionally have one of those. I don't drink like seltzer or anything.

SPEAKER_04 31:17

What about the vodka?

SPEAKER_02 31:18

Oh, yeah, no, that's alcohol is a totally different food group.

SPEAKER_05 31:21

If there are any representatives from Trader Joe's listening, I would love one in Navarre. Please.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

It's such a great store. I know. They really should be everywhere nowadays. I love it.

unknown 31:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 31:31

And if there's any representatives from Wegmans, I'm sorry. Apparently I didn't belong in your establishment. Yeah. I must have been lost. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 31:39

That's cultural appropriation, I believe.

SPEAKER_04 31:41

Oh big news in uh Pennsylvania Jagger. Kroger bought giant eagle. So everybody's all up in arms here about uh giant eagle.

SPEAKER_05 31:51

They bought the giant eagle, did they? Going downtown.

SPEAKER_04 31:57

Now I don't know if they're gonna call them all Kroger. I think people would lose their mind. It'd probably just be one of those things where they own it behind the scenes.

SPEAKER_05 32:03

It would be smart to keep a giant eagle. I mean, that's like a staple, a staple of a lot of people's lives.

SPEAKER_04 32:08

I thought Martin's was the was the no man, and Martin's isn't even real. That's just a mirage.

SPEAKER_02 32:15

I know it's it's bought by it's owned by Stop and Shop.

SPEAKER_04 32:18

It's yeah, but it's see they want to call it Giant, but they can't call it Giant here because Giant Eagle. So people be like, oh, I went to Giant, and then they'd be like, what giant? And then people would fight and get divorced, and so it's Martin's and Giant Eagle. Or maybe it'll be Kroger now, and Martin's can go back to Giant. These are the big news stories happening in central Pennsylvania. A lot of moving and shaking going.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

I'm really glad you're reporting on it.

SPEAKER_04 32:42

I'm on top of all of it for you.

SPEAKER_02 32:44

But drink your water.

SPEAKER_04 32:46

Oh yeah, thank you. Can you talk to us about our sponsor, Pizza Night, while I just drink water?

SPEAKER_02 32:55

That's not on my grocery list this week.

SPEAKER_05 32:59

God, I hate water. Pizza Night Avenue. Blair County. It's the place you gotta be if you're hungry. Because why? Let me tell you why. They've got these $6.99 mix and match deals, so you can get your fill of a delicious treat and not break the bank at Pizza Night. So you gotta get down there, you gotta try their strombolis are delicious. They got these uh specialty pizzas, they've got sandwiches, they got everything you want, the pepperoni balls. It's all just good. It's all good homemade dough in-house. They got a couple different kind of sauces too uh that you can argue over in your marriage. That's another thing you can get divorced over if you want to. Which sauce is best? But uh get down there to Pizza Night, give them a try. Pizza Night Altuna 84, nope, 814-943-7000. You got it. That's 814-943-000. I tried, but she she choked.

SPEAKER_04 33:54

She choked. She's always there with the number, though.

SPEAKER_02 33:56

Yeah, I'm always there with the number. No, you know what it is. I'm not doing commercials anymore. I actually ate so much pizza over this weekend that's like the thought of pizza is kind of making me.

SPEAKER_04 34:08

And I'm the one that has to go have my organs tested to eat this life.

SPEAKER_05 34:12

Well, I'm a I'm a little concerned about you, to be honest.

SPEAKER_04 34:15

Me too. I know you. Oh my god, you're like the sickest person I know, and you're concerned about me. I'm not that sick. I have one kid.

SPEAKER_02 34:22

He was sick. He not he's not anymore. No, and you know what? Let me have my turn. I just don't want you to be like me. I ignored red flags for a long time, and look how I ended up. You don't want to do the same.

SPEAKER_04 34:32

Not dating my kidneys.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

But you are, because you're married to them.

SPEAKER_04 34:37

And by the way, clearly God knew like kidneys weren't really going to be doing as much as they could because he had to give you two of them. God didn't give you two of them. Is that right?

SPEAKER_02 34:45

So same, same thing with ears.

SPEAKER_04 34:47

Yeah, exactly. So you can like actually listen to half of my sentence.

SPEAKER_02 34:52

Well, it's really that like the power of having two is like you could do a lot more with two hands. Even though I did watch a video the other day because I'm trying to learn survival knots of how to do a one-handed survival knot. And they say it's like great if you have a dog, you need to like wrap it around uh like a leash around a pole or something.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

Do you even have a dog? No.

SPEAKER_02 35:12

I'm just trying to learn survival knots, that's all.

SPEAKER_04 35:18

You have like 15 jobs, you belong to nine organizations, and you have time to master the survival knot.

SPEAKER_02 35:26

Yeah, you know, and none of it makes me money except for my job.

SPEAKER_05 35:28

But the only negative of having the two kidneys is you can't choose which one to abuse. So it's like they both they both kind of take the brunt.

SPEAKER_04 35:35

You never know which one's gonna get the worst of it.

SPEAKER_05 35:39

Kind of like the show.

SPEAKER_04 35:42

You get one liver. Couldn't you split that in half? One liver? Can't they take a piece of a liver and grow another liver? I think they can do that. I think they can have the technology.

SPEAKER_05 35:52

Yeah, it's like a regenerative liver.

SPEAKER_04 35:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 35:55

Yeah, you can do that.

SPEAKER_04 35:56

That's what I need.

SPEAKER_05 35:58

You can get a liver transplant. You get a piece of somebody's liver. I think.

SPEAKER_04 36:01

Do you have those Wegmans?

SPEAKER_05 36:03

Yes. It's in the meat aisle.

SPEAKER_04 36:06

I thought Jenna fell asleep, but she just died.

SPEAKER_05 36:10

I thought it was just a resting bitch face, but whatever.

SPEAKER_04 36:14

She was actually listening to me for once.

SPEAKER_05 36:18

No, don't get that twisted.

SPEAKER_04 36:21

Let's have a staring contest with her.

SPEAKER_05 36:23

Okay. For those listening on Spotify or iHeart right now.

SPEAKER_04 36:30

Yeah, they're staring, which is hilarious. That's why you need to pay for our Facebook subscription.

SPEAKER_05 36:35

That's right.

SPEAKER_04 36:36

You can see all of that.

SPEAKER_05 36:40

How's it going without Tri Luna cleaners?

SPEAKER_04 36:43

Yeah, I lost their phone number, so I couldn't say anything about Tri Luna. I think they're coming to the house tomorrow.

SPEAKER_05 36:50

I was gonna say, have they been out recently or no?

SPEAKER_04 36:52

No, I kept putting them off because I was sad. I was too sad to have someone else clean my house.

SPEAKER_05 36:57

Why?

SPEAKER_04 36:58

I've just been busy. And like I like to sleep.

SPEAKER_05 37:03

That makes you sad.

SPEAKER_04 37:05

That's how bad it is for me. Can you can you guys not come tomorrow? Because I just want to sleep in. Thanks.

SPEAKER_05 37:11

Would they not just clean around you, like just dust you as you're laying there?

SPEAKER_04 37:14

Oh, they have, and then yeah, that's one of the services they offer. Nice. They'll just dust right around you and you know, right out of your way. Um but they do a great job. If you're a residential home or a business, or you run Airbnbs, whatever the case may be, Triluna Royal Cleaning and Altoona also help wanted. As they grow, they have like a fleet of vehicles now, and they need a fleet of staff. So if you're interested in picking up a part-time job or you want to work there seven days a week, I'm sure they'd love to have you at Triluna Royal Cleaning, right, Shiger?

SPEAKER_05 37:51

They would love it. And if you want to uh reach out to them to apply, you can do so at 814-631-5116. TriLuna Royal Cleaning.

SPEAKER_04 38:02

Did I imagine Jana was in this podcast, or have we just done the whole thing without her this whole time and I didn't Oh no, there's it could be a fever dream, maybe.

SPEAKER_05 38:09

I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

Yeah. I just thought you were in the middle of a sneeze.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

It's just absurd that like you don't get a warning sometimes with these laptop restarts. All of a sudden the screen just goes black and then it starts at zero percent.

SPEAKER_04 38:21

Yeah. I like it when it happens if somebody's yelling at me over the phone.

SPEAKER_02 38:25

Yeah, you like it at a work function. Right.

SPEAKER_05 38:28

I liked it just now because it looked like you were judging us harshly when you paused. Did I?

SPEAKER_02 38:33

Oh yeah, I think those also are are very entertaining. Because you can never prepare for it. You can like set yourself up for success and be like, I'm going to be smiling this whole time, and then your face is told. Or it's like when you're watching TV and you pause them and you never know what second it's going to go on, and people are all they're just like talking like this, and all of a sudden they're like, like, it makes no sense.

SPEAKER_04 38:57

Well, I'm glad you made it back for the end of the episode.

SPEAKER_02 39:00

Nice seeing you guys. Bye.

SPEAKER_04 39:01

We could have stopped it on the go. I am JoJo.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

I'm Jenna.

SPEAKER_04 39:06

I'm Jagger. Don't forget, drink your water. Salute.

SPEAKER_02 39:11

Oh, I'm shocked that you have some actually. You're not drinking it, but you have it.

SPEAKER_05 39:16

It's old coffee, that's why I'm not drinking it.

SPEAKER_00 39:18

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 39:23

Jojo on the Go is presented by Pizza Knight Altuna.

SPEAKER_00 39:26

Get the stove and the dishes and make tonight a pizza night.

SPEAKER_06 39:30

Place your order. Call 814-943-7000. Pizza Knight. Thank you to our sponsors, Holiday Fools and Spa, Dry Luna Royal Cleaner, and Arlor Donut.

SPEAKER_03 39:44

A fresh new episode of JoJo on the go is coming soon from the Holiday Fools and Spa studios. In the meantime, head to JoJoworldwide.com for merchandise, mobile DJ services, bonus content, social media links, and even more ways to listen.