The Voice You Hear the Most (07.24.26)

The way you talk to yourself matters.

Today we talked about why speaking to yourself in the second person - and saying it out loud - can be so powerful.

Instead of thinking:

“I hope I do well today.”

Try saying:

“You are prepared.”
“You are capable.”
“You are going to help someone today.”
“You are the kind of person who follows through.”

When you speak to yourself this way, you create a little distance from fear and self-doubt. You begin coaching yourself instead of criticizing yourself.

But the real shift happens when your words are followed by action.

Tell yourself:

“You are someone who follows up.”

Then send the message.

“You are someone who takes care of your body.”

Then do the workout.

“You are someone who handles hard things.”

Then take the next step.

The words establish the direction.
The action provides the evidence.

Your challenge today:

Choose one powerful second-person statement, say it out loud, and then take one action that proves it true.

Missed the call? Listen in at 518-418-1611.

#6AMCall #BadAssCoaching #Mindset #SelfTalk #Leadership

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right. Good morning, everybody. It is Friday, July 24th. And uh we're talking about uh, well, we're on our 6 a.m. call and we're glad you're here. Robin and I are always so grateful that you're here with us. So um let's get to it. So uh I want to talk today about the voice you hear the most. And um hold on a second. So my printer guide, I'm reading this off my screen, and I just went to that in case you missed it. So let me go back here. Give me just a second. All right. So let me start over. Good morning, everybody, and welcome to the 6 a.m. call. As always, Robin and I are so glad you're here. Um, we keep saying how crazy it is that you guys are getting up at 6 a.m. to join us in the summer when you could be sleeping in. So good on you. Um and this morning I want to talk about the most influential voice in your life. And it's not your coach, it's not your spouse or your broker, your clients, or even the people whose opinions matter the most to you. The voice you hear more than any other voice is your very own. I recently watched a video from Smart Psychology. You can go look them up on YouTube called Why Talking to Yourself Every Day Rewires Your Brain for Success. And the central message was pretty simple. The way that you speak to yourself matters. We know this, right? Not because saying a few positive words magically changes your circumstances, but because of the thoughts and the phrases that you repeat to yourself influence what you focus on, what you expect, how you feel, and ultimately how you behave. It triggers that reticular activator that I told you about the other day. So you are already talking to yourself all day long. The question is, what are you actually saying? And maybe your inner dialogue is great. Maybe it sounds something like, I'm so behind, I'm terrible at following up, I hate prospecting, I'm not good on video. I always start things and then fall off. I literally just heard this from somebody the other day. I start strong and finish weak. When we say these things so casually that we may not even recognize what they are saying, it can cause damage. When you repeat a statement often enough, it starts to feel like a fact. It becomes part of the story you believe about yourself. And then your brain starts looking for evidence to support it. We talked about this the other day. You miss one workout and you think, see, I never follow through. You make a few calls, no one answers, and you think, see, prospecting doesn't work for me. You post a video that doesn't get much engagement, and you think, see, I'm not good at social media. We collect evidence for the story we already believe and that we already tell ourselves. But the video shared a very specific and interesting way to begin to change that story. First of all, instead of only speaking to yourself in the first person, using statements like, I am confident or I am going to do well, do you speak to yourself in the second person using the word you? So instead of saying I'm this or I'm that, you're gonna say things to yourself like, Hey, Lee, you're prepared for this presentation. You're going to help a lot of people today. You know how to create meaningful conversations. You're the kind of person who follows through. You can handle what's in front of you. There is something powerful about speaking to yourself in this way because it creates a little bit of distance between you and the fear, the pressure, or the insecurity you may be feeling. It's almost as though the wisest, strongest part of yourself is coaching the part of you that needs encouragement. Think about how you would speak to somebody that you cared about before an important triputation. You would probably not say, you're gonna mess this up. You never do well under pressure, you're not good enough for this. You would say to them, you know this material, you've prepared for this, you're going to connect with people in that room. You don't have to be perfect, you just need to be present. You're gonna help someone today. And that is the voice that you need to learn to use with yourself. And according to the video, it's all it is also important to say these things out loud, not just to think them silently. When you say the words out loud, you're not only creating the thought, you're also actually hearing the message. Your voice becomes an outside source of instruction and encouragement. And you're and you are giving your brain clear direction. You are calm, you're capable, you are prepared, you're going to make the call, you're going to walk into that appointment ready to listen and serve. There's a difference between vaguely hoping you're going to have a good day and clearly telling yourself how you're going to show up. And it's interesting too, because when you hear the talking to yourself out loud part, because when you're just thinking positive thoughts to yourself, what happens is your mind starts going down a million bunny trails and you don't even realize it. So you might say a positive thing, but next thing you know, you're going down fear trails. So that's why talking out loud is important. And and talking to yourself in second person create an instruction to yourself. But this is not about pretending that everything is perfect. Healthy talk, healthy self-talk is not about denial. It's not saying everything's amazing, why maybe it isn't. It's learning to describe reality without giving away your power. So instead of saying you're completely overwhelmed, you're going to say something like, you have a lot happening, but you can decide what matters most today. Instead of saying you can't do this, you're going to say, you may not know every step yet, but you definitely know the next one. Instead of saying you have no discipline, you're going to say you're becoming someone who keeps small promises to yourself, or you're becoming someone who keeps promises to yourself. So the word should always be positive, but also useful because you're not going to buy a bunch of positive self-talk that isn't true. So they should give your brain an instruction that it can actually act on because words alone are not enough. Your brain needs evidence. So you say you are someone who follows up and then send the follow-up. Say you're someone who takes care of your body, then go do the workout, drink the water, or prepare the healthy meal. You are someone who handles difficult conversations, then go make the call instead of avoiding it. The words establish the direction and the action provides the evidence. And the evidence begins changing the story that you believe about yourself. But here's the practice for today. First, notice one negative sentence you've been repeating. Maybe it's I'm behind, I'm not disciplined, I'm not organized, I don't have system, I'm bad at prospecting, I never follow through, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You know what it is. Then change it into a second person statement that is honest, encouraging, and specific. You are capable of getting back on track. You are becoming more disciplined through small daily actions. You are learning how to create better conversations. You are the kind of person who finishes what you start and say it out loud. Not once, as you rush out the door, say it slowly enough that you actually hear it. Look at yourself in the mirror, say it in the car, say it before you walk into an appointment. You are prepared, you are here to serve, you're going to help somebody today. You can do hard things. And then take one immediate action that proves the statement is true. Make the call, send the text, put on the workout clothes, write the post, have the conversation. Your action today is simple. Put yourself out loud, speak to yourself in a second person and tell yourself how you're going to show up. Not for fear or criticism or reminding yourself of all the times you fell short. You're going to speak to yourself the way a great coach would speak to you. You're ready, you're capable, you're going to take the next step, you're going to help somebody today, and you're always listening to yourself. Remember, you're always listening to yourself. So make sure that the voice you hear the most is leading you toward the person you are becoming. So thanks for being here this morning. I hope you guys have an amazing and productive weekend. Robin is on the mic Monday. We love you guys so much. Have a phenomenal day.