Nina’s Story: From Anxiety Ruining Her Life To Feeling Free Again

In this episode, I’m sharing Nina’s story.

Nina is a previous client who opens up about what life was like before coaching, how anxiety was affecting her day to day life, and the ways it was holding her back.

She also shares what changed during our time working together, what helped her make progress, and what life looks like for her now on the other side of that anxiety cycle.

If you’re currently feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or like anxiety is running the show, I want you to hear this. Stories like Nina’s are proof that change is possible, even when it feels like it isn’t.

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Disclaimer: This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you are concerned about your health or symptoms, please speak with a qualified healthcare professional. If you are in immediate danger or feel at risk of harming yourself, call your local emergency number straight away.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:02

Welcome to the Anxiety Relief Podcast. I'm your host, Ross Rolf, the anxiety coach, here to help you conquer anxiety and build a calm, confident life. In each episode, we'll explore the tools, stories, and insights to help you take control of anxiety and live life on your terms. Without further ado, let's get started. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Anxiety Relief Podcast. This week I have something really special for you. So this is going to be a little bit different to the previous podcast episodes. And this is going to be based on a conversation that I had with one of my ex-clients. So she recently finished going through my 12-week anxiety coaching programme. And what happens in this week's podcast is I've basically put in a quite a long clip, um, which is from a testimonial she gave me where we were having a discussion. But what's going to be really valuable for everyone listening to this is you're going to be taken on Nina's journey, which will guide you through where she was and how much the anxiety was absolutely ruining her life, into how she then started through the coaching programme, what techniques she started using, what she did, and how that ended up massively, massively changing her life and getting her where she wanted to be. And now she's no longer surviving, she is absolutely thriving. So this is going to be a little bit different, but I think you will find it really, really valuable. Nina was an absolute star going through the programme, and you know, from my point of view, she absolutely smashed it. She put in the effort that she needed to, she was consistent, and she had the accountability, obviously, from me to make sure she got there. Now, obviously, I hope you will listen to this and get really inspired from it and get great value from it. So sit back, relax, and enjoy this week's episode. Tell us a bit about who you are and what life was like for you before you come into the coaching program.

SPEAKER_00 2:17

Yeah, um, my name's Nina. Um I'm 41 years old. Uh I work full-time um as a healthcare assistant at the hospital. Um, I've always suffered from anxiety, right from probably about nine or ten years old. Um, it first started uh when my nan had cancer, and it sort of got embedded in my head that I must start checking my own body. Um so that carried on. I didn't really know what it was, why I was a bit different, why I did these special routines. Um so I carried that on right until probably I was about 32 years old when I got divorced, um, moved house, had a car crash, my dad got a diagnosis of a terminal illness. Um and things started to happen where I started shaking, um, I couldn't see properly, my heart was racing, I felt sick, I couldn't stop crying, I didn't know what it was. Um, I was at work one day, this went on for a couple of months, and then I was at work one day and um I had a massive nosebleed, and I thought, this is it, I've got a brain tumour. Because somebody like me, hard, you know, strong person couldn't possibly suffer from anxiety. I thought it was a physical illness, so I actually thought I had a brain tumour that was causing me to lose my vision, to shake, for my heart to race, the nosebleed. So I took myself down to AE and um I had a set of blood stun, and the doctor says to me, says Nina, you're perfectly fine. Your blood's uh above average. And I was like, No, there's something wrong. There's something wrong in my head. I I know there's something amiss because it something's happening that's causing all these symptoms. Um so they advised me to go down to the doctors. So my mum took me down and we explained everything. I wrote everything down. I said, I'm having all these symptoms, and she read it and she says, Well, if this was 50 years ago, we'd call this a nervous breakdown. You your nerves are shot. Um, so this is when I started with the panic attacks. She says, Would you like medication or would you like counselling? And I says, to be honest, I says, I'm that scared. Please give me the medication. I want this to stop now. So started on Calipram, 30 MGs of it. Um side effects were terrible to begin with. The first month I couldn't eat, lost loads of weight, got down to 10 stone. Um and then things started to pick up. The doctor says to me, You've got to walk. Um, so I started walking. I got from my house to the front gate one day, a bit further the next day, a bit further the next day after that. Because I thought if I don't stop whatever this is, I'm never going to work again. They started me on counselling, it's CBT. Um, and I says to her, I says, I don't know why you're doing all of this. I've not got anxiety, I've not got panic attacks. This is a brain tumour. And she says, I want you to trust me. She says, and I want you to deep breathe in and out really quick. And I felt the same feeling. And she says, That's hyperventilating, which causes you to go dizzy, causes you to shake, causes you to, you know, your heart to race. And then I started to believe him. Um so yeah, I carried on with the medication. The panic attacks got less and less. I was having probably two or three every day. Uh, they started to get less and less. Um, and I was just plodding along. I've plodded along for the last 10 years or more. Um, not really knowing what these panic attacks were, I just thought it was one of these things that just come on every so often. I didn't put two and two together until I had the coaching that actually it's my brain causing this. Like one side of the brain saying, you know, you're wound up, you've overthought all day, or the other side of the brain saying, you know, it's instant, you're panicking because you've got to run away, the fight or flight. Um, so yeah, luckily I I was lucky enough to start my coaching. Um, and obviously Ross has explained everything in great detail that why these things happen. Yeah, so I'm learning, yeah, I've learnt a lot.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Awesome. And how how was life for you emotionally and mentally then when you were going through all that?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

Draining. Absolutely draining. I couldn't get out of bed some days, I didn't want to see anyone. I was happy just in my own little world. I wouldn't go out. Only when I had to, I knew that I had to go to work because if I didn't work, I'd have no money, I couldn't live. So that was always top priority. Um, so I knew I had to go to work. I've had panic attacks driving to work, I've had panic attacks at work. Um, work was really good. I saw psychiatrists, I've had about three or four psychiatrists, but yes, they're good in one way, but they just tell you, right, tell us all your problems. They don't tell you actually what anxiety is, you know, what's causing this. So the coaching's been really helping because it's explained everything in detail. You know, calm your breathing down, um, take a step back, realize this is anxiety, these feelings before you have a panic attack is the anxiety. It's it's caused the panic attack. So the anxiety side, the overthinking of things, I'm that used to it because I've done it all my life. It was the panic attacks that got me down. Yeah, not been on an aeroplane for 10 years because just in case I have a panic attack. Um, but hopefully, well, now I am going abroad in June. So, yeah, catching a flight. I've even booked my own holiday. We're going to Poland and Graceland, a 12-hour flight. I can do it, you know. Yeah, changed my life.

SPEAKER_01 8:33

Amazing. So, how how was anxiety actually showing up like every day for you then?

SPEAKER_00 8:39

Um, I'd wake up and it was there. It's it's like a feeling of adrenaline. The only way I could have described the anxiety side near the panic attacks was waiting to get on a ride at Alton Towers. You're that pumped up and the adrenaline's going through your body. And it was waking up like that, and then panicking. What's wrong? You know, why is this happening? And then it's that kind of drive to work. What happens if I drive to work and I crash? What happens if I drive to work and die on the road? It was all the what ifs were stopping me, like doing things. You know, what happens if I go for a meal and I'm with all my friends and I have to run out? I've done that before. I've been, you know, out with them, and I've had to say I've got to go outside for 10 minutes, which my friends are really understanding because they're like, right, just go out, they don't mention it again, it is what it is, and come back in. Um, but now I've been to concerts because my coaching started before Christmas. So I've been to Christmas concerts, I've been out for Christmas meals, and I've sat there and I felt myself getting wound up like the adrenaline come in. But I've just sat there and took it because it is my anxiety. You know, I don't have to run away from it. You know, I'm having a good time, just relax, slow down, you know, deep breathe, everything's fine. So yeah, it really helped me over Christmas.

SPEAKER_01 10:09

What were the hardest moments you were dealing with before we worked together, do you think?

SPEAKER_00 10:14

Um being sociable. Yeah, that was one of the biggest things. Um cancelling plans last minute because it was easier. Um, but now I've learned that even if you do feel uncomfortable, just do it. Do it feeling uncomfortable, because that's all it is, it's your anxiety.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Um, what were you afraid might happen then if things didn't change for you? So if you didn't start getting the coaching and get the support you you needed.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Yeah, um, I've lived the last 10 years, 30 to 40, and I thought I don't want to go the next another 10 years. It's a waste of my life. You know, I'm gonna turn around and be 70 and not done anything about it. And I've found that coaching is completely different to doctors, psychiatrists, anything. It's a different perspective of it all. It explains it right down to everything. The medical side of it, yeah, really good.

SPEAKER_01 11:11

How is anxiety affecting your confidence and your relationships and that sense of self?

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Yeah, no confidence whatsoever. Um I'd be worried that people were looking. Did they know I was anxious? You know, could they see that I was probably in the middle of a panic attack? Relationship-wise, luckily I've got a partner who's quite understanding that he knows that I need to recharge myself because because my brain with the anxious side is 110 miles an hour until I can't, you know, until I learned how to calm it down, I'd be mentally exhausted. So I would have to have a couple of days, you know, to myself before I actually felt better. But once like the thoughts come in of overthinking, I know now how to stop that and to deep breathe, to take a step back and say this is your anxiety. Um, the cold water therapy, absolutely brilliant. One of the best things, filling the bowl up with um freezing cold water and ice, and when I get too overwhelmed, or I'm getting to the point where I'm not controlling it, to put my head in the cold water and it shocks you, and it sort of brings you back. That is fantastic. That's one of the best pointers, as well as the breathing, the breathing exercises, the cold water's excellent.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Love that, yeah. And I know I know you found it really effective, which was fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 12:44

Yeah, I've even done it at work, like I've had took myself off to the bathroom and done it, and it sort of resets you. So, all these coping mechanisms that you've given me, they're they're amazing.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Thank you. I love that. So, what had you already tried before coaching then? And why do you think it hadn't worked?

SPEAKER_00 13:04

I think with the psychiatry, the CBT, the talking to doctors, the medication just numbs it. Um, you know, I haven't really got much feeling, you know. I'm not happy, I'm not sad, I'm just emotionally dead, as I call it. So, yeah, so before the coaching, I had doctors, psychiatry, CBT. It didn't work because they never, I was just another patient to them. I was just another number. I was just somebody coming in just quickly for 10-minute doctor's appointments or a CBT appointment where they see probably 50-60 people a day. It wasn't personal where I found the coaching very personal to me, and you've worked with me and my anxiety because everyone's anxiety I expect is different, but you've listened to what my anxiety was like right from childhood upwards to now. So, yeah, very personal.

SPEAKER_01 14:04

What made you reach out for coaching at that point then when you were really struggling? And what what made you think, nah, this is it, this is the time to do it?

SPEAKER_00 14:11

I saw your um post on Facebook and I was following you, I've been following you for a while, and I thought the things you were saying was like I was connected to it. I thought this is me. Yeah, I decided to reach out for coaching. Um, I'd been following um been following you on Facebook for a while, um, and I felt like what you were saying was me. And I thought if I contact you, you might be able to help me because I wasn't really getting far with the psychiatry, the doctors, the CBT.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

So you you basically got to that point, you were like, you need need to try this, you need to need to stop it and get your life back, is what it sounds like.

SPEAKER_00 14:52

Yeah, I got to the point where I'd had 10 years of feeling like this, and I obviously turned 40. I didn't want another 10 years because my life was suffering, you know, my friendships were suffering, my relationships were suffering, work was suffering, you know, with having time off with panic attacks and just generalised anxiety. Um, I have got a diagnosis from the doctors of generalised anxiety disorder. Um, but this is the best that I've felt for since it started in 2016. I feel more in control. I'm in control now, not these panic attacks, not the anxiety, not the overthinking. I can walk out and think, well, if my heart starts racing, just relax, just calm down. Everything's fine. This is just my anxiety, and that's what I have to keep telling myself.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

What stood out for you like working with me compared to your other options?

SPEAKER_00 15:46

Very personal centered, like you listen to me as a person rather than just like a hospital number. You know, you got everything, you got my history, you knew where I wanted to go. You know, where do you where do you see yourself in the next like 12 weeks, which was really important. Every week was completely different. We did different tasks. I made notes, you were really helpful with keeping in touch with me in the week, you know, with WhatsApp messages, and any time that I felt bad, I could contact you, which I've never had that before with like the psychiatry or anything. As soon as you clocked off with the psychiatry, that was done for a week. So it's been very helpful to have you there. You've been there for me for the last 12 weeks, and it's been fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 16:31

Before you started, was there any hesitation or fear that you had, you know, worrying about how getting the coaching? And what helped you move past that?

SPEAKER_00 16:39

The night before we were due for my first coaching, I was gonna cancel. I thought, I can't do this, you know. I I didn't want to open up, I didn't want to look weak, I'd I didn't want to admit that I couldn't carry on the way I was carrying on. And like the first time we spoke, you said to me, You said Nina, that's the first step. You've done very well to even accept our call today. And then I knew from that minute then I thought, yeah, we're gonna do well again.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

Looking back now, what would you say to someone who's unsure about starting coaching?

SPEAKER_00 17:09

Please do it, please do it. It doesn't matter if you've had anxiety for a year or 20 years, it is absolutely life-changing. I've been given pointers, I've been given tips on how to control it, uh, what to do in a panic attack, and I've never had that level of support before. And if you want to get better and you want anxiety to be on the back burner, you've got to do it. Absolutely fantastic. Yeah, highly recommend it.

SPEAKER_01 17:41

Thank you, Nina. So, what surprised you most about the coaching process?

SPEAKER_00 17:45

What surprised me the most is how anxiety is the brain, it's not just these random feelings. Like when you explain to me the terms of the brain, how it's set up, you know, intersections, how different nerves can control different feelings in your body, and it's been very interesting, like the psychology of it all. And me, like I can remember one coaching session, I had a list of the questions I wanted to ask you, and that was really helpful. One of the questions was, why do I keep having these panic attacks? You know, I've not been anxious all day, but then I learned from you that you told me that it's the other side of the brain that's an instant panic attack. So that was really interesting. Yeah, brilliant. And the podcasts are really good. Um I find myself I've listened to him over and over again. Uh I'm doing my housework with my earphones on, and I'm just going over what you're saying. Yeah, you've been a real big help.

SPEAKER_01 18:42

Lovely, yeah. That's amazing, Nina. So good to hear you saying all that, and makes it all much more even more worthwhile for me because it's what what I live to do, it's it's my purpose. So I absolutely love it.

SPEAKER_00 18:53

The coaching has been in my own front room, you know, in possible gear. You know, I'm relaxed, I'm in my own place, and just to talk like face to face for like a whole hour, you know, like these last 12 weeks, 10, 12 weeks, we've been like committed to each other, which has been really good. It's been really good to open out. I've had a cry. Like the first session, I can remember crying, you know, please help me. I just want to be normal, and I feel a lot stronger down the line, a lot more in control.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Absolutely love it. Was there a particular moment, exercise or realisation where something really clicked for you?

SPEAKER_00 19:32

Yes. Um, I've got to say the ice water, how it resets you just like that. Absolutely fantastic. And I work with a lot of people, obviously, because of the job as well. Most of us do suffer from a bit of anxiety, you know, mine being well, mine being was quite bad, but others do have like traits of it. So I've been telling those at work about it. Um, you know, if you feel anxious, you know, please do this cold water bath, you know, with your head. A lot of the tips that you've given me I've written down, which I'm going to print out and like make little booklets for work for the staff. So I think with you helping me, I can help other people as well. So that's been very good. The breathing techniques, fantastic. Um, the 668, um, that's my favourite. I've been working a lot of shifts. So this morning I got in bed and thought, oh, I can't breathe. And I just did the breathing exercises, I relaxed myself down, and I was fine. I I went straight to sleep.

SPEAKER_01 20:31

What's actually changed for you since working together then, compared to how you were before? Like, how is life now?

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Life is brilliant. I've done more things the last 12 weeks than I have done in a year. I'm focusing on the future, things that I want to do, what I've missed out on these last 10 years. I feel a lot more happier. I've I I understand anxiety now. I understand it. I understand what a panic attack is. And I think understanding it, I realize now that it's not my body out of control. You know, it's not just these things that just come every so often. It's my brain that's been doing that. So yeah, really very good.

SPEAKER_01 21:07

How do you think you respond differently now to anxiety compared to before?

SPEAKER_00 21:12

I'm realising what it is. So as soon as the anxious thoughts start coming in or the repetitiveness, I know what that is now. I know that this is anxiety. I know that when my body starts going into a panic attack, I can control it. Instead of letting the panic attack run its course, before the coaching, I was running away. I was on my own in in my house and I was going outside and I was going up to the woods to run away to somewhere, I don't know. I was sitting up there until I've calmed down. But now if I feel like a panic attack's coming on, I'm recognising it, I'm realising what it is, why it's happening, and I'm controlling it, and I just sit still, I let it pass. I do my breathing. I say to myself, this is my anxiety. I go off, I do something a bit different to try and calm my mind down, you know, to give it something else to think about. And it soon passes.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Is there anything you're doing now that before would have felt impossible?

SPEAKER_00 22:19

Yes. Going out like in groups of people. So I've been to Christmas concerts in churches where it's full. Uh I've got up and danced. I've stuck things out. I've been out for meals where it's been close people where I've been confident to talk and you know, lead the conversations and not sit in my shell in case I was worried that I'm gonna have a panic attack any second and this is gonna happen, I'm gonna die in the seat. You know, I'm sitting there and I'm doing it. Yeah, I'm in the moment of being out, and and that's really nice.

SPEAKER_01 22:55

How has the coaching affected your confidence and trust in yourself?

SPEAKER_00 22:59

I trust myself now that it is my mind. You know, it has been my mind all along. The mind is very powerful that can cause you to think you've got symptoms of you know, the more you wind yourself up, the more your body's going to respond to that and start believing that there's something wrong.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

You I mean, you've done amazingly well, Nina. You've you've been fully committed and put put in so much effort, and I'm I'm super, super proud of you for you know how far you've you've come in the time is is exactly the reason why why I do this. You know, like I can I can say that hand on heart. Um what are you most proud of yourself for?

SPEAKER_00 23:39

I feel a bit upset now. Um I'm very proud of myself that we we've stuck together for the last 12 weeks. Yeah, and it's made a big difference. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_01 23:49

That's sure. You nearly made me cry earlier as well, by the way. Just so it's just so you feel like you're not alone because I was listening to you saying it and it really it really impacts you and you make it makes you realise why, you know, because I I do this so much, I think sometimes it just it just becomes part of normal life. And that's why I really love these, is when I'm hearing how much it's affected someone, it it's a good reminder. Because I think sometimes because we do it over a long period, it's very easy to forget where you've come from, yeah. Yeah. So then when you start go when you start doing this, it then makes you realise how far you've come. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah, you you've you've been amazing. Like I I couldn't ask for a better better client, you know. Like you you really have been just absolutely amazing. You've fully stuck at it and you know, all the credit. Although I've taught you things and gone through it, the real hard work is you because I don't have to feel uncomfortable doing it, but you had to. But I do it from a place of I've been there and I'm you know, I'm trained to do it, and I give you everything I can to set you up for to be able to have the life you want back, yeah. And you've done it. Yeah, so you've done all the difficult side of it, right? Who would you recommend coaching for? Like who would you say that should be the people to do it?

SPEAKER_00 25:02

Anybody who's suffering, even if it's just slight anxiety, uh definitely anybody with panic attacks, you know, unable to get on a bus, a train, anything that's putting you behind and not giving you your full potential, you know, do coaching. I I highly recommend it. Like I say, I have to doctors, psychiatrists, CBT, it the coaching with your Ross has been like the best.

SPEAKER_01 25:28

What would you say to someone who's watching it who at the moment feels stuck or hopeless right now?

SPEAKER_00 25:32

I think sign up to your coaching, do the 10, 12 week sessions, and life will be better. I'm upset because I'm so proud of how far we've gone. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:41

If you could sum up your experience, Nina, working with me in one sentence, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 25:46

Absolutely fantastic and life-changing.

SPEAKER_01 25:49

Bless you. That's it, Nina. You've done it. Yeah. Right. What what I didn't tell you is there is a re there's another reason why I do this, right? Well, there well, there's a there's a couple of reasons why I do this session. And because I always do one of these sessions with people. One is to make make you step out of your comfort zone and overcome anxiety. Yeah, because you would and I know we covered it a little bit before, but you would have been thinking about this all day, wouldn't you?

SPEAKER_00 26:11

All day. Right.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

And it's never done it before. It feels a big deal, right? But you've completely and at least stepped outside your comfort zone and you did it, right? So I do it as another way of showing you you can do things you thought you couldn't do before, right? The other reason I do it is because sometimes, if you know, obviously they're very specific questions and there's lots more questions than you thought I would ask. But the point is, is they take you on the journey of where you've been to where you are now. Yeah. So it really helps instill in you actually how much hard work you've put on yourself, yeah, and how far you've come. And sometimes just hearing yourself say it, you know, it's as hard as it can be, it really helps you realise actually you've come a long, long, long, long way.

SPEAKER_00 26:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Brilliant, really brilliant.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Thank you for tuning in to the Anxiety Relief Podcast. I hope today's episode left you feeling a little more calm, confident, and in control. Remember, small steps every day can lead to a big transformation in your life. If you found this episode helpful, please don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who you think might benefit. For more tools and resources, head over to my website at www.roscroll.com. And don't forget to join the Anxiety Relief Hub on Facebook, which is a supportive community where you can connect, share, and grow. Until next time.