When Cindy Met Troy

How we met, and our beliefs

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Good morning. This is Cindy Shaw coming to you live with from Just Pray Over in beautiful Tennessee. It's a gorgeous morning outside, and I have a guest speaker here. His name is Pastor Troy Shaw. He is my husband. And we're here to talk today because we had a um a listener ask us how we met and um how I found my husband and how I found everything I wanted in one person. So we are gonna try and explain that.

SPEAKER_00 1:07

And I'm gonna let there's no way to explain everything in one person. That's all God.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

Absolutely. It was definitely all God. But I'm gonna let Pastor Troy talk a little bit about that. And hopefully he can explain to you how it all kind of started.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Um, ladies, this is not something I would recommend. If you're gonna do it, be very, very careful. And gentlemen, also, because it's I learned the hard way too. Um, I think Cindy was fortunate that she only had to deal with one person, me. Yes, but I did deal with several loony bins out there that uh it's not even important, even important enough to even go into. But at any rate, Cindy had messaged me on this site, and I thought about it for a day or two because at this point I was fed up with the whole dating thing anyway. I didn't want to do it anymore. My subscription was about to run out, so why should I drag another victim into this with myself? But I contemplated, I read the message probably seven or eight times, and then I said, you know what the heck? She sounds like a very nice person, so we'll see. And I sent her a message back, and it took her a day or two to answer me because of the rough times that she was going through at the time, which I knew nothing about until later on. But um, at any rate, that would be her part of the story that she can tell you whatever she wants to share with you on that one. After a few times messaging on the dating site, we exchanged emails and started emailing each other. And then after probably two weeks, yeah, two, three weeks, she gave me her phone number and I called her. And little did I know that that was going to lead to several hours on the phone just in that one week, one day, eight hours exactly on the phone. But she, like I said, she was going through a very rough patch at the time, and that particular day was just very trying on her, and she needed somebody to talk to, and it wound up being eight hours. And then we uh during that eight-hour phone call, she also asked me if that was a cigarette I had just lit, and I told her yes, and I said, Is that a deal breaker? And she says, Oh yeah, she is allergic to cigarette smoke, she doesn't like the smell of it, and she has a very acute sense of smell. Um, so I quit smoking. I've been quit over a year now, and uh very proud of that because that's something I smoked since I was like 12, 13 years old, and I'm 62 going on 63 now, so that was kind of a big victory in my life. And uh, but when she told me it was a deal breaker, I had not seen her yet, so I didn't even know what I was getting into. But then it came down to um after talking on the phone for probably two weeks, longer than that. From the time we met until we met in person was about six weeks, yes, six, eight weeks. Yes, but then um we made the call to meet in person, and I drove to where we live now. I drove over to her house to meet her, and it was probably an hour and 15-minute drive. Yeah, but it was worth it, it was well worth it. So now she can share some of her experiences leading up to that day.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Well, I had come here to take care of somebody who had polycystic kidney disease, and um they were in the lighter part stages, and I was in the hospital, and I I didn't know anybody here, other than you know, the guy at Home Depot that was selling me parts to glue this house back together, um the handyman that was gluing the house back together piece by piece, um the doctors and the nurses. That's all the interaction I really basically had because I was literally living in the hospital. Um, and of course, the neighbors crossed the street who was helping me with the dog. And um I sat down one day and I just said, you know.

SPEAKER_00 5:55

We keep mentioning the dog, but we've not really talked about Kingsley.

SPEAKER_02 5:58

No, we haven't talked about Kingsley. He said he was my he was my helper. I mean, he saved me through all this. He was I talked to the dog all the time. The dog just didn't answer me, but I think he knew everything I needed. He was always right there sleeping next to me and taking care of me. And I decided, you know, I just wanted somebody to sit down and talk to and go out to dinner with. I wasn't looking for anything more than that. I was just bored to death. I needed a friend and I needed somebody that uh I could trust. I knew they had to be godly, and I said, you know what? I'm gonna write down everything I want in a man, and I know this can never be filled, so I don't have to worry about it. I know God can never fill everything I want. So as long as I put every single thing down, it will never be obtainable. So I made this list from the top of the head to the toes. I said, he has to be a godly man, he has to love God more than he loves his wife, he has to have a cowboy hat on, he has to have salt and pepper hair, he has to have cowboy boots, the buckle, he has to have a cowboy shirt, blue jeans, he has to, you know, the whole nine yards. I mean, everything. You just would not believe how detailed. He has to be handy with his hands, he likes to work around the house, he has to do. I mean, I made it, he has to have a pickup truck. I mean, I made it so detailed. Corduroy coat with patches on the corduroy coat with patches on the elbow. I mean, it was so detailed that I knew there was just no way God could fulfill this man. So I took this letter, I folded it, and I put it in my Bible and I left it there. And I kind of forgot about it. And um when we were emailing each other, I would question him about a few things, and um a lot of the things that we talked about were basically the Bible, it was very Bible-based. Um, and I found out he was a pastor, and he actually said, Well, would you like me to send you my resume? And I said, That's not necessary, but he sent it to me anyway, and I thought that was really cool, and it kind of calmed my nerves down a little bit and it made me feel a lot safer. And that's when it was much easier to talk to him. And uh, I actually like questioned him like, what's the shortest verse in the Bible and things like that, just just to find out where he was and to make sure that he wasn't, you know, pulling my leg.

SPEAKER_00 8:39

What denomination was I? Yes, and I shared with her that I don't have a denomination, that I have a relationship, that I'm not religious, that really perked her ears up.

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yes, and uh he just he had all the right answers, just all the right answers. And then when he came to the door, I'll never forget that in the hours we spent on the phone. I mean, I I still don't know how we would talk for so many hours to get to know each other.

SPEAKER_00 9:09

I mean, I didn't know any two people could talk that long, and um, we were talking about this yesterday, as a matter of fact, and we still have not run out of things to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

No, we haven't. It it just amazes me, you know. It's just and it can be such minute things, it just doesn't even make sense to me. We just talk about everything and nothing.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

That's because both of us have so much useless knowledge that we'll never use with anybody else, so it has to be true, used on each other.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

That is very true, and I do ask a lot of weird questions, yes, and I don't know why, but I do, and um that's for sure. Of course, he'll go trying to find them and look them up, and he challenges. Oh, we have Alexa, but he has he does challenge me and I challenge him, so that's that's really kind of cool. So he finally gets here, and I told him I have a laptop and it's in the box, and I really need to figure out how to program it. I'm literally computer illiterate, and I need to set my computer up. This is something you can help me with. Oh, yeah, no problem.

SPEAKER_00 10:20

So I computer illiteracy in her is that is a very big understatement because trust me, with these podcasts that we're doing, it is a challenge sometimes. Indeed, it is because she likes to click things and she likes to click them fast, and I don't have a chance to see what it said before she's clicking and going to the next thing, and the next thing you know, you have Kalamazoo pulled up on the screen, but it's been fun, and I'll let her finish her story now.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Well, it's true, that is very true. There's no telling what I'll get into on the computer because I've just I want to get things done. I'm that person, so never to say the least, um I had this computer and he came over, I opened the door, and I heard him say something. The dog was barking because a dog would protect me like you'd think I'd have a German shepherd in this house. And of course, I didn't know, I knew he was a pastor from his bio and his resume. And but you know, you're still learning being a single person. So I had a gun taped to the table in the breakfast nook underneath the table. I had a gun hid in the dining room, a gun hid in the living room, and a gun hid in my bedroom. A girl can never be too safe. I'm not gonna comment on any of those. So, never to say the least, he walks in, I open the door, and he said, Um Wow. Yeah, and I didn't know what he said until yesterday, actually. So he says, Wow, and the dog is barking at him, and he reaches down and pets the dog, and the dog just falls in love with him. He stops immediately, and Kingsley just doesn't like people. Kingsley will bark and bark and bark and bark and continue to bark. But Kingsley warmed right up to him, which I was very amazed. So he got past the dog. So that was step one. That's what I said. And once I got past the dog, I knew I was in. He did, and he came in, and um, of course, he stayed about 10 foot distance from me the whole time. He wouldn't even sit at the breakfast table with me. He stood a distance away and told me what to click on the computer screen to set my computer up. Second date, basically the same thing, stood afar, and he drove a lot of miles each way.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Wait a minute, let's talk about our first date. Okay, we didn't go in any detail on that. No, we didn't. Our first date, I have been dying to go to a cowboy church. That's true, so I could experience what one was like. That's true. And our first date, we had planned to go to a cowboy church. And I just have the reason I like a cowboy church so much, I gotta share this, though, is there's very there's no judgment at all whatsoever. We're not interested in what you look like, what you're wearing. Um, I mean, if you wear a cowboy hat, great. If you wear overalls, great. I mean, we're that's just if you want to wear a three-piece suit, that's fine too. We're not gonna judge you on what's on the outside, we're gonna judge you by what's on the inside. We're not gonna judge you at all. That's God's job. That's right. But we're gonna look at what's on the inside and go from there.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

That's exactly correct.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Anyway, we drive over to Spencer, Tennessee to go to this cowboy church, it's about a 45-minute drive. Now, mind you, I've already driven an hour and 15 minutes to get here. And uh then we drive another 45 minutes, so I thought, but we get to this place that's supposed to be a cowboy church, and I couldn't find anything churchy about it. No, and I just really did not feel safe at all. If you're a true believer in God and you walk the Christian walk and talk the Christian talk, God does give you discernment on certain things, and if it's not safe, He will let you know sometimes. So we drove around the building three times, yeah, and then I said, No, this is not for us. I just don't feel safe here, and I'm not taking you into a place like this. So we left, and this was right before Christmas, a week before Christmas, actually.

SPEAKER_02 14:56

It was a Sunday before Christmas.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

So we went driving through Severeville, Pigeon Forge. I don't think we went to Gatlinburg that night. No, we didn't, but anyway, we rode around probably another two hours.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

Well, then we found out that both of us like riding through the country and looking at things. That's what we spent our Christmas day doing. Yeah, but uh we like riding through the country and looking at different houses, barns, ranches, animals, and we found out how much we enjoyed doing that. So our first date was uneventful, but it was very eventful, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 15:30

And we talked a lot, yes, we did. We talked a lot, and we looked at the Christmas lights, and it was um it was very peaceful. That's a good way of putting it.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

Our Christmas was very our first Christmas was very peaceful and it was very uncommercialized. Yes, we didn't exchange gifts, we didn't exchange one gift um other than each other. We just talked, yeah, and we enjoyed each other very much. Cindy swears that she fell in love with me on that day, but I I say a different story because we were hanging up one night, I think it was even after the eight-hour phone call, and she went to say I look and she stopped. So that led to another 30-minute conversation about how you could fall in love with somebody without seeing them.

SPEAKER_01 16:24

And he says he fell in love with me on the phone, and I that was the only way I could drag it out of her, and I must admit I did fall in love with him on the phone.

SPEAKER_00 16:32

But at any rate, she said it was the first date when she was holding my hand and I think I knew, yeah, I think I knew for sure then. Yeah, but see, now just because I moved slow on the first two dates didn't matter.

SPEAKER_02 16:47

First three, the third date you asked me for a kiss. Okay, and that was very sweet. I appreciated that.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

But then I asked you to marry me.

SPEAKER_02 16:56

Yes, you did, and you said yes immediately, and that was really weird because I would that that wouldn't come out of me. It was just, I don't know, that felt like who said that moment? Like, how did that come out of me?

SPEAKER_00 17:11

I don't know, but it did, and here we are.

SPEAKER_02 17:14

And and I was so surprised because I was like, after you left, I can't be a pastor's wife, that can't happen. Who said yes? And that's oh, he can't mean that. We're not getting married, that's not real. But I guess it was, and like you said, here we are. But I would have never thought in a million years that I would find the love of my life by reading a bio and that he liked everything that I like to do.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

He likes to fish, we learn that later on, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:55

But talking to the phone, yeah, some, not everything, right? But your curiosity was really built up when you saw me skinning an alligator.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

Yes, yes. I thought that was a Photoshop picture. Did you really? Yes, I did. There's no way she's standing there skinning an alligator. I was, I know, I believe it now, and then when you got here look, you you don't have many wives that you buy a shotgun for for Christmas because that's what she wants. Okay, so that being said, I got a crossbow for Christmas. There you go. Because I am still a convicted felon, so I cannot own a gun, but I can own a 400 foot per second crossbow. At any rate, I guess the difference is is because you can only load one arrow at a time and with a shotgun or well, actually with a shotgun, it's a you have to she can put five shells in hers.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Yeah, but that's funny because all your other rights have been restored. I know, and you didn't what you did had nothing to do with a gun.

SPEAKER_00 19:03

No, it didn't involve a gun, and that's just so silly. It was alcohol related, yeah. But that's another story for another day.

SPEAKER_02 19:10

That's very true. And then as we're you know, through this whole process is what really was funny was when you came over, you know, you realized you looked at this house, and it's sunshine yellow, the roof is leaking, and I inherited this house. The curtains were red, the bedroom curtains, which he hadn't seen till much later, were um striped like a circus red, yellow, and green. The yeah, whenever you'd walk into the bedroom, you'd feel like the shower in the master bath, the subfloor, evidently there's pipes leaking, and it was getting ready to fall through. They said I was lucky I didn't fall into the uh subfloor crawl space. Crawl space. Um, there was a hole under the stove. I couldn't leave the stove that was here in here because it would have caught fire. So when they moved the stove, there was this giant hole which mice were coming through from the subfloor. The dryer, when I brought the dryer in, I couldn't hook it up because there was no heat pipe to hook it to. So the dryer was just blowing hot air through the house. Um, and then the vents for the air conditioner weren't even connected under the house.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

We didn't know that until much later. The it was a humidifier attached to the ductwork underneath the house and it fell out because it rusted. It was so bad. So there was a gaping hole in the ductwork. We didn't know. I mean, we were cooling the neighborhood pretty well, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:56

And the air the lights would flash off and on in the breakfast nook because the wiring was messed up, and then the outside outlet was connected to the kitchen outlet, so it would keep blowing. I mean, it was like nothing you've ever seen. Nothing you've and it was sunshine yellow with black countertops. It was frightening.

SPEAKER_00 21:17

And I mean, we have pictures to prove it if you want to see that.

SPEAKER_02 21:20

The weeds were as tall as a two-story home on the side of the house. You already had it cleaned up. That part I got cleaned up. It was really bad. So here I am trying to get some of it done, and he's sitting here looking at the curtains in the living room. So I had come in to make a dinner, and I think this was right around Christmas. I was cooking, it was right after Christmas, and I started making a meal, and all of a sudden I had ordered these blinds for the house, and I laid them standing up in the living room because I was going to try and put them up or call the handyman. And he Couldn't take looking at these curtains anymore. I mean, they were just red. I'm talking so red. Next thing I know, my blinds were up.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

I was so excited just to see white that I couldn't take. I just knew right then I was the happiest person in the whole white world. It was the littlest things.

SPEAKER_02 22:19

But it took a good year, over a year, to get this house put together and fix everything. Which really isn't that long when you stop and look at everything we've done. Oh, I know. And it took a lot. It was a lot. But you know, if you can still be able to do it.

SPEAKER_00 22:34

There's still a few odds and ends that have to be done, but that's for the most part, it's livable. And we, you know, when I say odds and ends, I mean like the uh electrical outlet switches, face plates, all that need to be changed out upstairs, and that's all that's left.

SPEAKER_02 22:48

Yeah. There's only a handful of them. But we basically rebuilt this entire home while living in it on our first year marriage.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

And that's worse than building a house. And we survived it, and it was good.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

So the way I look at it is we can do anything.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

Yeah. We're fixing to find out.

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Yes, we are. We are.

SPEAKER_00 23:16

Cindy her vision is that we have some type of shelter. Um trying to see how I can put this some way to help women that have been in battered situations, that are homeless, um, and children also that are displaced. So her little program in the wintertime is called Warmth for Women and Coats for Kids that we sew into. And we I would like to have a cowboy church regardless. So we're planning on doing the shelter and the cowboy church together.

SPEAKER_02 23:57

Yes. And I'd like to do the cowboy church first so that maybe we can actually use that as you know, as a twofold thing and a place for them to drop the coats off and the right everything else. But the cowboy church, and and I think people need to understand our vision for the cowboy church. A barn on Acreage would be fine because at the end of the day, we want to bring back what kids need to learn and keep them off the street. You know, like get a fake cow and let the smaller kids learn to lasso it while they're still learning the Bible in Sunday school lessons. And the teenagers let them plow the fields and let them grow the gardens and sell the produce after they give back to the people of the church. And, you know, I think those things are important, but they're still learning Bible lessons as they go along, you know. But they also do missionary work locally to help the elderly people. And then the older people are, you know, learning lesson plans and learning about the Bible and talking about the Bible and teaching the youth and doing things right there in the barn. But every day, you know, that we do have service or when we have service, they belly up to a wagon, you know, and have dinner and campfires and you know chuck wagon. Chuck wagon, yeah. And you know, sometimes they have tents out during the spring or fall for the kids and spend the night and open campfires.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

And if we have to start with a pole barn, that's fine. But right, I want something eventually that we can keep open year round.

SPEAKER_02 25:35

Exactly, like a permanent structure. We have to start somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

Yes, we do. And with that being said, I just learned a valuable lesson here lately anyway, but we are completely legal. We are filed, our articles of incorporation have been filed with the state of Tennessee, so we legally have the name Hearts of Hope LLC. We are also legally a 501c3 through the IRS, so we are able to accept donations and they're tax-deductible, fully tax-deductible. Um, with that being said, though, I thought I had to buy a charter for my church, for our church. And I know I'd done this back in Florida years ago, and I thought I was great. Come to find out, we asked Alexa the other day what it takes to be a uh how do we get a charter for a church? So Alexa informs me that you have to have the articles of incorporation and a 501c3. So we're done. But I just can't believe how stupid I was. I was fixing to have to pay for a church charter again. And we do have our bylaws, we do have our bylaws, we have our our rules basically, our bylaws and our um our statement of faith and all that stuff. We're we're good to go, I think, on that side of it. Um and we plan on starting some classes here locally. We do, yes. We actually talked to a library yesterday. They're supposed to call us back and find out some more details of what we want to do. We're gonna start with the uh mainly Gary Chapman books with the five apology languages and then going into the five love languages. Yes, but um anyway, this is I know it doesn't really have anything to do with today's podcast, but in a way it does.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yes, because we actually did that as part of our marriage. What's that? When we did the five love languages and the five apology languages, right? It was it was important for us.

SPEAKER_00 27:37

I think the most important thing that we did was the three-chord marriage.

SPEAKER_02 27:41

I agree. I agree because we put God first, which you've never even heard of. No, I didn't hear of it before, and I think that's the other thing that really really touched my heart is that I got married in a church. That was very important to me. I married not just the love of my life, but I got married in a church with God.

SPEAKER_00 28:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 28:09

And I did the three-chord marriage and I love God first, and then I love my husband.

SPEAKER_00 28:17

If you don't know what the three-chord marriage is, go to Ecclesiastes 4 and it tells you the whole thing about three-chord marriage and how two are better than one. And you know, if you're cold in the winter time, two can provide heat and one can't. Um, but mainly with the three-chord marriage being one chord is the God, one chord is the husband, and one chord is the wife, and they're intertwined together, braided together. So it just means that we have God in our marriage every day, constantly, 24 hours a day.

SPEAKER_02 28:46

And we have that court hanging up in our next to our marriage certificate.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

With the prayer next to it, yes. But it it uh it's always been very touching to me, and I was a little shocked that she didn't understand what it or hadn't ever heard of what it was, um, because she's from Florida as well. But I actually seen it performed one time and it was just very touching.

SPEAKER_01 29:11

So it was a very beautiful, beautiful wedding.

SPEAKER_02 29:16

You cried through the whole thing. No, I didn't, and you drove those women crazy. I thought you were gonna, I thought those women at church were gonna kill you. At any rate, he was up for two days.

SPEAKER_00 29:32

Yeah, I couldn't sleep.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

He didn't think I was gonna come.

unknown 29:37

No.

SPEAKER_02 29:38

To Miriam. He didn't he thought I was gonna stand him up.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

If you've ever looked at something and say, Oh, that's too good to be true, then you understand what I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_02 29:48

I don't believe that.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

I just never I told her, I don't know, probably the third or fourth day, you know, girls like you just don't go out with guys like me, and I don't think she still understands what I'm saying to this day. No, but she thinks I'm hot, so I'll just leave it at that. I mean, it is taking me the best of the year to learn that she really loves me to pieces, and I guess it's because both of us come from very bad backgrounds as far as marriages go.

SPEAKER_01 30:27

And um we're not used to hearing it every day.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

No, I was married two times before her, and both marriages really were not great. Same here. One was for 20 years, but the last eight years it wasn't a marriage. As like Cindy shared with her, you know, living in separate rooms and all that. I mean, it it just wasn't so basically when I moved to Tennessee, I didn't realize I was moving to Tennessee to get divorced, but I did. And here I am with my love of my life. We were both blessed, we really were.

SPEAKER_02 31:02

And what were you looking for?

SPEAKER_00 31:07

I wanted a Proverbs 31 woman. I wanted a godly woman, and when I say Proverbs 31, don't take it literally, guys, because she cannot sew, but I can cook, yeah. What she lacks in sewing, she makes up for in the cooking department. Trust me. Um, I've definitely not eaten fast food.

SPEAKER_01 31:28

No, you haven't.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

Not since December of 24. Uh, well, one time we did stop and grab breakfast real quick because we were going out somewhere vacation or something.

SPEAKER_03 31:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

But anyway, um, she has really turned my health around.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

We.

SPEAKER_00 31:48

We. Um we eat balanced diets every day.

SPEAKER_03 31:53

We do.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

She has some gastro problems. Oh, and that was another thing too. When we were talking and communicating, she was sending me pictures of her back and x-rays and so forth, trying to scare me off. She tried everything she could do to scare me off.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

I did. I knew I knew that he would just go away if I would scare him off and tell him, you know, I'm just a wreck. You don't want to take me on, you know. No.

SPEAKER_00 32:23

But I did.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

But he did. I've had so many back surgeries. I just figured, yeah, you don't want this.

SPEAKER_00 32:28

Well, I was definitely afraid of her getting hurt, but it didn't happen. So and it's like we talked about that yesterday as well. I mean, her back may be stronger than mine. I don't know. Um, I've had a lot of health issues though in the last year, and it's suppressed us from doing a lot of stuff we should have been doing. Um, we both love to hike, but I've not been able to hike over a half a mile yet because of hips and which I guess the hip thing was a fortunate blessing. It was. Because when they did x-rays, they the orthopedic doctor came back to me and she said, Um, I'm not supposed to see veins in my x-rays, but I see your veins, and there's a lot of calcification there. Well, come to find out, I had a three-inch block in my left femoral artery that I just had removed two days before Thanksgiving. And they thought they were going to keep me in the hospital past Thanksgiving, but that didn't work. No, it didn't. I was home for Thanksgiving dinner.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Oh, he was ready to break out of the hospital. He was very adamant about it. But I spent the night there with him in my Grinch pajamas.

SPEAKER_00 33:36

She did.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

And um, he was very fortunate because that was his third surgery.

SPEAKER_00 33:43

That one That was an actual surgery.

SPEAKER_02 33:45

Yes, I had two procedures and yeah, they were outpatient surgeries. Yeah, but the one was a 99.9% blockage, which he also almost ended up at the hospital with, and then the last one that they kept him at the hospital, they said it's a wonder he didn't go to his heart or his brain and have an aneurysm. So he's very fortunate to be alive and still here with us.

SPEAKER_00 34:09

God's got a plan, guys. That's right. Anyway, um, so needless to say, between my medical issues and and her problems that she's been she's had in the past, we pretty much see doctors, I don't know, two times a week. We live at the doctors, but that's part of getting old. I guess. I don't know. I mean, I've had so many shots in my back in the last year and things that I just didn't even know about.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

You never took care of yourself.

SPEAKER_00 34:38

No, I didn't. I was never first place.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

You don't have to be first, we just take care of each other. But you're as important as I am.

SPEAKER_00 34:51

I don't know. We both know that. I don't think I've missed but maybe two or of her doctor's appointments.

SPEAKER_03 35:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

So needless to say, with the medical issues, that also created financial issues, and we had some tough times. For it to be the love of our lives, we still had some challenges and some hurdles to overcome. And that's where she was going with the five love languages and the five apology languages. Is if we didn't go through those two courses or whatever, we would probably be separated or divorced by now.

SPEAKER_02 35:27

Yeah, because a lot of people can't go through rebuilding a home, living in it, knowing how to apologize, and knowing how to what your love language is so that you can communicate clearly. You know, I truly believe that every couple should have a counselor to keep the marriage strong. Yes, even if they touch it base just twice a year. Yeah, once a quarter, twice a year, whatever it is. I think that it's very important. You need a toolbox, you need a toolbox because without a toolbox, you can't fix the problem.

SPEAKER_00 35:59

And I don't mean going down to Home Depot or Lowe's and buying a toolbox. That's exactly right. It's just you you find out what works and you keep it away, store it away. That's right. That's what I mean by toolbox. Exactly. We found some things that worked, we found some things that didn't work, and we took them out of our toolbox and got rid of them. That's right. But um, at the end of the day, irregardless, we sleep in the same bed. That's right. And you have we say prayers every night in bed, we read a psalm every night in bed. Sometimes Cindy will share a proverb with us too in bed. Um, but we always end our day on a high note, we don't ever end it on arguing or anything like that.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

And every morning we wake up and we do three devotionals and we do communion and we pray over every meal.

SPEAKER_00 36:52

And if we happen to forget a song the night before because we fell asleep or something like that, then we'll read it at the breakfast table.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

That's right. And I think the biggest thing is that I've learned is I have to be, I have to feel vulnerable in order to feel valued.

SPEAKER_00 37:13

And I think that's you have to feel vulnerable in order to make me feel valued. Yes, I think that's I have to do the same thing.

SPEAKER_02 37:20

Exactly. I think that's the most important thing.

SPEAKER_00 37:22

But I think probably our biggest tool we have in our toolbox is the breakfast table.

SPEAKER_02 37:27

Yes, it is a breakfast table.

SPEAKER_00 37:29

Anytime we start getting a little sideways, one of us calls time out, and we immediately go to the breakfast table, and that is our safe space. That is, you're not allowed to get defensive, you're not allowed to get argumentative, you're not allowed to get uh what's the other word? Combative, combative, aggressive.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

Um you just have to be able to talk.

SPEAKER_00 37:53

Yeah, you just have to talk and communicate. Communication is a big, big, big thing. One person at a time. Yes. Listen, active listening, and then reflect on what the other person said. And maybe reflect it back to them, what they said, so that they know that you heard them. Um anyway, we got way off base on this one, didn't we?

SPEAKER_02 38:12

Yeah, but that's that's really how our marriage has worked.

SPEAKER_00 38:16

It is. Um, I think because of your past that you were very I I would I was so single. You were very independent. Very independent because you were single so long, right? Technically, not legally not single, but right, but I was doing everything on my own.

SPEAKER_02 38:37

Yes, so it was very hard to accept somebody in my space.

SPEAKER_00 38:40

Yes, but because of your past also, I think you were a little skeptical of me. Yes, that you just figured all men were like this, yes, and I kind of figured all women were like this, and you know, both because both of them did both of us did come from very bad marriages. We both had walls up, yes. Um, we were actually both cheated on.

SPEAKER_02 39:04

We both had to be vulnerable, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

Our past has had all kinds of bad things in them. Going through my divorce up here left me in a very bad financial situation, but you've overcome that, yeah. But I mean, at first that was probably the biggest thing that you were mad at me about, is because I didn't divulge my whole financial situation. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Um, but that's how we learn to communicate.

SPEAKER_00 39:32

Yes. And we learned some tools as far as like money is or Mondays is for talking about money, which we got away from for a long time, but we talked yesterday about implementing that again. I think that we can just talk about it anytime though now. We can, but I mean I think we maybe need to sit down and and just discuss where we at. Exactly. Um she has opened up tremendously as far as letting me take over some of the finances or all of the finances because they stress her out so much. And I think I'm doing an okay job at it. I don't know. So far, so good. Well, they can't take the house away from us. We know that we know that is paid for. Um, but I have been able to get back into working now. I'm I'm a realtor and seems to be doing well so far. Yes. God's blessed us tremendously.

SPEAKER_02 40:25

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 40:26

Um, I started with a real estate agent over in or a real estate agency over in Knoxville, and I was very upbeat at first, and then I found out that it was not for me. So then I changed to where I'm at now at Telico Realty in Lenore City, and I got half the drive, and Cindy's just much happier the way I come home every day. And um, now, of course, like I said, the last week I've not been able to do anything with my right hip this time, but but we think we're ahead of the game now.

SPEAKER_02 40:57

Oh, yeah. Um, you've done really well there.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

I'm trying to think. Well, I did have a thing last week that was very exciting for me because a lady contacted me through email and she said that they read my biography on the real estate website and really liked what they seen and knew that we could be friends and that I was the realtor for them. Yeah, I was so excited. I mean, I was beside myself. Now, they're not people that are gonna jump right away and buy something, but they told me what they wanted. I've sent them some properties to look at, and this just been very upbeat this week.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

It has. Um, but you are that guy in the cowboy hat that wears the cowboy boots, you are that person.

SPEAKER_00 41:45

What is it? I forget what it says on my business card. Straight shooter, straight shooting realtor with a pet a shepherd's heart. That's what it is. Because I don't withhold a pastor part. I tell everybody that I talk to that I'm a pastor, all my mailers that go out say I'm a pastor, and there's no sense in hiding it. I mean, yeah, that's my job one day a week, but then I got six other days that I have to work. Um, but anyway, God has really gotten me excited. When I met Cindy, my uh convictions, I guess I should say, they were in the toilet. I mean, I was really mad at God, and I was very hesitant to even say I was a pastor, and that made her so angry. It did.

SPEAKER_02 42:35

Because he would find me at the table every like two in the morning, three in the morning, yeah. Studying my Bible.

SPEAKER_00 42:43

But here lately, the conviction has really come back on me on a in a force, a big force. We've been studying Acts on a thing called Drive Thru History, which is phenomenal, phenomenal. We just went through the gospels, she did the gospels. I didn't really participate. I watched the shows with her, but I didn't participate like she does. And there are actually courses online that you can sign up for. I think they're about 90 bucks a thing. Um, but it's called Drive Through History, and it is really good. Website, drive throughhistory.com. But check it out, I think you would like it.

SPEAKER_02 43:18

Yeah, it's really good.

SPEAKER_00 43:19

Um, the guy really explains it. Cindy and I are both kind of simple people sometimes, so we have to have us really be hit upside the head with a frying pan, and this guy does.

SPEAKER_02 43:28

Yeah, and he brings you right to Jerusalem. Yeah, yeah, Mount of Olives, everything.

SPEAKER_00 43:33

We sit here and we do communion every day, and we actually read the verse after the communion part that says that they went to the Mount of Olives, they sang a hymn and went to the Mount of Olives. Well, until we watch this show, Cindy didn't really realize how far the Mount of Olives was from the upper room. I was amazed. So, yeah, you got to go from Jerusalem through the Kidron Valley and then up through the Garden of Gethsemane to the Mount of Olives. And she's like, you know, so now we understand why they sang. The hymn was Psalm 115 through 118.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

And I was like, wow, that's a that no wonder why they were singing so long. Yeah. I mean that's and they had to have some quiet time there too. So that that kind of amazed me.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

What else?

SPEAKER_02 44:18

I think that really tells us a lot. You got anything else? If anybody has any questions about how we met, feel free to let us know. We'll be more than happy to answer. And I hope the listener that asked, we answered your questions. But a lot of prayer. It was a lot of God that put us together. It was God ordained without a doubt. I have no doubt about that. Because if it wasn't for the prayers that I wrote down, from the cowboy hat to the cowboy boots to the corduroy jacket with the patches to the salt and pepper hair to a godly man that loved God more than he would love his wife, to everything. And he even said he wanted somebody that looked totally opposite than anybody he had ever been with.

SPEAKER_00 45:14

And we fit.

SPEAKER_02 45:15

And we do.

SPEAKER_00 45:16

We're both six foot tall.

SPEAKER_02 45:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:19

And just everything just fits.

SPEAKER_02 45:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:22

I don't I don't know how else to explain it, but just everything fits perfectly. We put our arms around each other, it fits. We hold hands, it fits. We kiss, it fits. It's perfect. Yeah. Um, yeah, we both can be reached. Um it might I have an email called Troy at justprayoverit.org or g and hers is Cindy at justprayoverit.org. And we both have phone numbers. If you have any of our information online, it's all there. We do have a website that's under construction right now, but it's www.faithhope ministry.com. And that'll have all our information on it, how to get a hold of us as well. Um, and it'll it'll give you the progress of the ministry and how it's moving forward. It ain't going backwards this time. Um, like I said, I started churches in Florida, and I just get so upset with the way these basic denominations are but the way they treat people. I mean, you know, all it is is about numbers. You know, how many baptisms did you have last year? Oh, I had 755 baptisms. Yeah, but how many disciples did you make? You know, that's right. Do you think Satan attacks you on a daily basis? Sure. Does he attack us? Probably more so because once you become a Christian, that's you done made Satan very angry because he lost one of us, his his his children. That you know, guys, Satan don't love you, Satan don't like you, he hates you, he wants to kill you. Yeah, and Cindy and I have been talking even this morning about how we have the choice. We can either go to heaven or we can go to hell. That's our choice. That's not God's choice, because God's already told us in his word that he doesn't want any of us to perish.

SPEAKER_02 47:16

He wants the sinner to come forward more than uh than anything.

SPEAKER_00 47:21

But anyway, to get back on track about the church thing and the denomination thing, Cindy and I both feel, and this has been since day one of us getting together in our talks, is you bring somebody to church, you get them to the altar, they say the sinner's prayer, a week later you baptize them, and then what do you do with them? Do you just leave them, leave them there to flounder? I mean, that's been my experience with with what we do there.

SPEAKER_03 47:46

That's the worst part.

SPEAKER_00 47:47

It is, it is, and I didn't really mean to turn this into a salvation message, but that's our job. That really is our job, everybody's job, not just a pastor, everybody that's sitting in that church. It is your job because Jesus told you to go and make disciples of all nations, and they're not discipling the new people, the new converts, they're not, and they are the ones that are the hungriest, yes, they're the ones that's more susceptible to be attacked because they don't know how to fight off the fiery darts, exactly, they don't know how to put the armor of God on because they have not been taught yet, exactly, and they don't even know where to go to in the Bible.

SPEAKER_02 48:25

And if they open the Bible and they go straight to Genesis and they start trying to read the Bible straight through, they're not gonna survive. Yeah, it ain't gonna happen, it's not gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 48:32

Most churches send you to John. Um, I don't even know where I'll tell you to go start reading in the Bible, just read the Bible. Um, I agree with Cindy. You can't really start in the Old Testament, that's for history for us, because if you don't know your history, you're bound to repeat it.

SPEAKER_02 48:49

I started in the New Testament and started from the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 48:52

Well, and I think that was really that really helpful because Matthew is very important because it has the Beatitudes in chapter five.

SPEAKER_02 48:59

Exactly, and it really kind of set the stage for John.

SPEAKER_00 49:03

Yeah. So it and it when you want to learn how to love, then go to John.

SPEAKER_02 49:07

Exactly. Exactly. But it really did it, and that's kind of how I I kind of went to everybody that I've worked with, and it just kind of helped because it helped them understand the Bible a little bit better, yeah. You know, and then after they were done with the New Testament, we went into and Matthew.

SPEAKER_00 49:24

If you read from Matthew all the way through John, the Gospels, you will find out that it's very repetitive, except for John.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 49:32

So it really drives it into you, and each gospel, each Matthew, Mark, and Luke, they each have a different perspective on something. Luke focuses them more on the um the birth. Yes. Matthew, I think, focuses more on Jesus' lineage, how he got from David to to Jesus. Um, but yeah, just and if you have hangups and problems, don't just feel free to email us. Or you could text us anytime. My phone number is 865-748-5866. Cindy's is 865-607-9720.

unknown 50:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 50:13

She just had her number changed, so I'm very still learning it, but I don't think she's ever learned my phone number.

SPEAKER_02 50:21

They have it stored in there, so I know that I don't have to.

SPEAKER_00 50:26

She just says call hubby Troy. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 50:30

And the reality is I have, and and this is very important for people to know, I have a learning disability, and I have no problem admitting that out loud now. And I hid it for many, many years. Um, so the King James Version is very difficult for me, but I still use it now to reference to to help learn. And this is the first year actually, I'm using three Bibles or two Bibles. Three, three to work with.

SPEAKER_00 51:01

Um we both have an ESV study Bible that is fascinating.

SPEAKER_02 51:05

And then I've got a King James Version. It's a life application study. Christian Standard Bible.

SPEAKER_00 51:18

Yes. So and it's an accurate translation, it's it's more plain everyday English, like we speak, versus the these and the thous and the dies and all that stuff, you know. But it's helping me try restoreth my soul, you know. It's just nothing against the King James, it's very beautiful, it's very poetic. It is, but we're using it in conjunction with two other translations to help us understand better.

SPEAKER_03 51:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 51:45

I think this morning she was reading the psalm and it had uh what was it? It said covetous. Yes, the covetous person. Then when we went to another translation, it basically said evil. Well, I mean, a covetous person is a jealous person and they're they're coveting what their neighbor has or something like that. So it meant more to me coming out of the CSB because it said an evil person.

SPEAKER_03 52:10

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 52:12

So now I know that this person is evil because it also said that that is who God aborth aboreth. See, I have a problem.

SPEAKER_02 52:19

So, how would you know sometimes the youth even is getting lost? Yes, and if I were youth, I would have probably stayed in church if I could have understood it. Yeah, and I think that's where we lose a lot of people.

SPEAKER_00 52:39

And well, I think we lose a lot of people because we don't have good teachers. I agree. If we have a good teacher that can sit down and take the King James Version and use the King James Version, but give them the CSB and make it come alive, yes, then you're having fun. Yes, yes, and you have their attention.

SPEAKER_02 52:58

Yes, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 52:59

That's the biggest thing. That is fun then. Um, I guess we've taken up enough time for you guys today. Wow, yeah, this is the longest podcast we've ever done. Absolutely. Um we do have, I don't know if it's still available on Facebook on Hearts of Hope or not, where we did the live and we were talking about the correct way to apologize.

SPEAKER_02 53:23

I don't remember. I don't know if it's still live or not. Some of those fell off. I know. So we may have to do another one.

SPEAKER_00 53:30

Maybe.

SPEAKER_02 53:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 53:33

Anyway, if you want to try to find it, it was called The Correct Way to Apologize. And we actually did it at a little vacation place that we like to go to in Pigeon Forge. Um called the Inn on a River, and it has a fireplace, and we sat in the dining area and had the computer facing the fireplace, and it was very it was in February.

SPEAKER_02 53:56

Yeah, it was very scenic, and it was really a very good podcast.

SPEAKER_00 54:00

It was. We did it just like this, right off the cuff, and yeah, no script, no notes.

SPEAKER_02 54:07

We just rolled with it.

SPEAKER_00 54:08

So I'm I'm hoping that what we've said today has piqued your interest about either enhancing the marriage you're in right now, or if you're in a bad marriage. I mean, it is okay to to get out of it and try to to find your love of your life.

SPEAKER_02 54:25

As long as there is you have exhausted all means.

SPEAKER_00 54:28

Yes. Please don't just leave a marriage for and both of you have to be open to counseling.

SPEAKER_02 54:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 54:35

Both of you have to be open to God. Yes. Um, the Bible even speaks of being unequally yoked.

SPEAKER_03 54:41

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

And I think both Cindy and I have experienced that in the past. Um, we were not equally yoked. Very true. And that's part of the reason I think my church in Florida failed. Um other than that, I mean, any advice you guys need if you need any counseling? I mean, I am a pastor.

SPEAKER_02 55:06

Cindy's a certificate in counseling.

SPEAKER_00 55:09

Cindy's a very good pastor's wife, and she's very down-to-earth and common sense.

SPEAKER_02 55:14

And are you sure?

SPEAKER_00 55:16

I'm just kidding. Sometimes um it takes a person from the outside looking in to identify the problem, and you'll be like, What, what? That's very true.

SPEAKER_02 55:28

And don't forget to love yourself first, yes, and forgive yourself first, which is the hardest thing to do.

SPEAKER_00 55:35

Forgive the man in the mirror. Yeah, love the man in the mirror, yes, or woman in the mirror, and then the rest is easier. Michael Jackson had a good song that we were puzzled. We were watching a movie yesterday, and it was actually in this Christian movie um called The Man in the Mirror. That's right. And I told Cindy that there was an actual man's group out there called Man in the Mirror, and I think I've got a book upstairs called Man in the Mirror. How interesting is that.

SPEAKER_02 56:04

That's right. Once you do that, then you can move forward. Well, and it's really hard. Trust me, it's really, really hard.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

Well, God can't forgive you if you don't forgive others, including yourself.

SPEAKER_02 56:17

So it has to start with you, though.

SPEAKER_00 56:18

Yep, it does have to start with you. And if any of you are interested in becoming a Christian and living the good life, give us a call, text, email. Um, both the numbers that we put online were uh cell phones, so they can't be texted. Uh see what else?

SPEAKER_02 56:38

I think you need to pray us out.

SPEAKER_00 56:40

Okay, all right, and always hold hands when you pray. It's very always Heavenly Father. We come to you today, Father, and we just thank you for the ability to do this, Father, the ability to touch others, Father, the ability to show others you. And I pray that what we've said today, what we've done today has glorified you, and that others can see you through us, so that maybe we can bring some more sheep to the flock, Father. We know that Jesus went after that one and left the others standing there, left the 99 standing there, but he went after that one because that one is just as important as the 99 are, if not even more. But Father, we pray for each and every soul listening today, Father, that their heart has been pricked and that they'll want to renew their convictions with you, Father, that they'll want to come to you if they're not already there, and just enjoy a good life. We know that it's not easy to be a Christian. We're gonna be persecuted. Jesus told us that before he left us that we will be persecuted, but he said, Lo, I leave you a comforter. He left the Holy Spirit to live inside of each and every one of us, believers, to guide our life and direct us and give us discernment and give us direction and to read his word because it's a lamp unto our pathways. So, Father, I ask you to bless each and every soul today, and I thank you for all that you've done. I thank you for all that you're gonna do in advance. In Jesus' name we pray this. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 58:23

Amen. Thank you very much for listening. And this is Cindy and Troy Shaw, Pastor Troy Shaw, signing off from Just Pray Over It.