Eps. 22 | Birth Doula Basics: Support Before, During & After Labor

What does a birth doula actually do? 🤰✨
In this episode of Birth Doula Basics: Support Before, During & After Labor, Crystal sits down with Regina Martin to talk about how doulas support families through pregnancy, birth, and postpartum. From emotional reassurance and advocacy to hands-on comfort measures and helping parents feel more prepared every step of the way.

Whether you’re expecting, supporting someone who is, or just curious about birth support, this conversation is a helpful place to start. 💛

Regina Martin
Ph: 701-440-8381
Email: regina@dickinsonbirthphotographer.com

To learn more about Women Empowering Women or become a member, visit wewnetwork.org or email info@wewnetwork.org.

The EmpowerND Podcast is hosted by Women Empowering Women, a membership based non-profit organization dedicated to connecting, supporting, and educating women. Through community, events, and resources, Women Empowering Women helps women grow, build confidence, and explore their potential, supporting them every step of the way as they become the best version of themselves. To learn more about Women Empowering Women’s projects or how to become a member, visit wewnetwork.org.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Empower Indie Podcast. This podcast creates space for honest conversations about health, well-being, and community resources to help people in southwestern North Dakota live healthy, full lives. The Empower Indie Podcast is produced by Women Empowering Women, a nonprofit organization dedicated to connecting, supporting, and educating women to help them become the best versions of themselves. To become a member or learn more, visit wewnetwork.org. Today we're talking with Birth Doula, Regina Martin, about what it looks like to prepare for and experience birth. We cover what a doula does, how they support families, what to expect in labor, and how partners can feel more involved. We also talk about common surprises during birth, navigating unexpected changes, and what support looks like in both labor and the early postpartum days.

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Hello, thank you for having me. I'm Regina Martin. I am a birth dual, a birth photographer, birth educator, and lactation counselor. I am a mom to four kids and a wife, and I've lived in North Dakota for 17 years. Um yeah. Okay, so tell us a little bit about what a birth dual is. So a birth dual is a non-medical trained support person to walk with somebody through pregnancy labor and birth.

SPEAKER_01 1:33

What does a dual actually do during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum?

SPEAKER_00 1:36

So during pregnancy, we will meet with our clients and we will talk about their hopes, their wishes, their preferences for their birth. We'll help them write a birth plan. We'll do a lot of education on the birth process, um, on their own, you know, what what their own expectations are, helping them form realistic expectations, um, talking about comfort measures and coping strategies. And where do you hold tension in your body? And um really just establishing a relationship with them so that when they go to have their baby and their doula shows up, like this is a friend. This is someone that they have a relationship with.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

What are some common misconceptions that people have about doula?

SPEAKER_00 2:29

That we're midwives, that we only attend home births, that we only attend, that we only support families choosing to have an unmedicated birth. Lots of things like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:41

How is a doula different from a doctor, nurse, or midwife?

SPEAKER_00 2:44

So doctor, nurse, midwife, those are all clinical care providers um performing the clinical side of care. I mean, also the emotional support, you know, all of that goes along with that. But a doula is there strictly for not to offer medical advice. Um, where non-medical support, we offer emotional, physical, informational support.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

So, what are some things expecting moms wish they would have known before labor?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Um, how long it would take, especially that first time. Um, I think a lot of people don't realize until afterwards that labor very rarely starts with a bang, especially the first time around. Um, it's not like in the movies where like boom, your water breaks in the hospital, and the next thing you know, you're screaming in the emergency room. And yeah. Um if you're lucky. If you're lucky. I mean, I guess if we can call that lucky.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Quickly be done.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_01 3:43

What are the biggest fears you hear from first-time moms?

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Tearing really badly.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Um C-section, something happening to their baby, something happening to themselves.

unknown 3:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:56

So how can moms mentally and physically prepare for labor before birthday arrives?

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Physically, I I love it when moms keep moving through pregnancy. And this doesn't have to be like some big complicated workout. Literally just go out and walk, you know, walk for 10, 20 minutes a day. Just that's gonna help prepare your body for labor. Um mentally, preparing for labor is it's mental, it's spiritual, it's emotional. Um and there's an aspect in pregnancy of surrender and realizing that you have to surrender to the birth that will be and not there's only so much you can do to influence the process. And at a certain point, you have to let go and realize that it's it's gonna be what it's gonna be, and I'm going to get through it.

SPEAKER_01 4:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

Um, I'm doing everything I can to prepare myself, to build a support team around me, to, you know, find people that I really trust to care for me and my baby. Um, and then you have to surrender.

SPEAKER_01 5:11

Yeah, there's a lot of moms that really struggle with that and and will show up with a birth plan that they want followed out to a T. And there isn't actually any control over any of it. So, you know, we can do things, we can try different tips and tricks and and movements and and things to try and make labor progress, and but it's not our plan. Right. You know, it's not it's not something you can type out and decide ahead of time.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

It's not like, okay, I'm gonna have this contraction, I'm gonna sit sit here, and then I'm gonna have this contraction overheating.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah, it just does not work that way. Right. I wish it did, but it doesn't. Yes. So a lot of times those moms that do that actually end up struggling more because one, they're mentally frustrated because they had a plan and it's not going as they planned, and it causes more tension. So their body's tenser, right? Which then makes it not go as planned as well because their body's really tense, and so things aren't progressing the way they should. So I think that that's a really good thing to teach them is that they're not in control. Right. The the birth plan is a like, I'd like to try this position, I'd like to try the ball, I'd like to do this, but not a this is how it's going to go. Because it will almost definitely not go that way. Yes. So what should families think about when creating a birth plan?

SPEAKER_00 6:31

Well, that's interesting. I think that the benefit of the birth plan is more for the family themselves and to educate it like as a mode of education. When you go, you know, you can print a gazillion birth plan templates off the internet. And you go down and you can check off these boxes, but like if you don't know what the boxes you know are, the birth plan is a great jumping off place to be like, what do I want? Yeah. What what are my options? Um, it's interesting that we're talking about this because just this afternoon I was reading, there's a study on PubMed that just came out like in April talking about birth plans and how families with birth plans have like a three times higher chance of a vaginal birth. Um, but be more so because it is a mode of informing yourself. Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

So they know more about the different positioning methods, they know how to relieve some of the pain, they know, you know, they know that movement is gonna help. And, you know, the longer you can be up, the better. So they are educated on those things. And and that if they go in with that mindset, I think that's super helpful. If they go in with the very strict of like, this is what has to happen, then then it's not as helpful.

SPEAKER_00 7:47

Right. Or even, I mean, there's so many different yeah, there's so many different avenues that the birth plan conversation can take too. But I've seen many different things, and I'm sure you have to with birth plans and yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:02

When labor begins, what are some signs mom should pay attention to? Um don't.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

I mean, honestly, I I tell now, if your water breaks, you should pay attention to the acronym is COAT, the color, the odor, the appear, you know, the amount, and what time your water broke. Um, but other than that, if you start having contractions, uh maybe pay attention to how far apart they are. But like honestly, if it's your first kid, go about your life. If you are going to sit there and like hyperfocus and like count the seconds between every contraction, your labor is going to be so much longer. Um you're just going to you're going to progress easier the longer you pay attention to it until you can't. Yeah. Um go bake a cake. Go go bake a cake. Or do something else.

SPEAKER_01 9:01

Until you like literally can't walk across the living room.

SPEAKER_00 9:05

Then maybe Yeah. Like when you have to like stop and breathe, or like you can't talk, then it's time to pay attention.

SPEAKER_01 9:11

Yeah. What tends to surprise moms the most once labor actually starts?

SPEAKER_00 9:16

I think kind of how chill it is. That again, like it's not just usually this big dramatic thing. Um like, oh, like I thought you know, it felt like menstrual cramps or you know.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

What comfort techniques do you find most effective during labor?

SPEAKER_00 9:35

Water. Water. Get in the shower, get in the tub. That really is not quite the magic bullet, but it's really helpful. Yeah. Really, really helpful.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Uh how can moms stay calm and grounded when labor becomes intense?

SPEAKER_00 9:51

A lot of that comes down to the people around you. Um obviously breathing, staying in touch with your breath. Um I find that people that have practiced yoga, you know, throughout their life or throughout their pregnancy, um like they just tend to be tuned into their breath um just a lot more easily. Yeah. Just because they're used to that. Um honestly, just staying in your body, staying right here, keeping your eyes closed, feeling the sensation in your body, feeling the floor under your feet, just these immediate sensations right, right in your bubble. And that's where you need to be.

SPEAKER_01 10:40

I think having the family understand that and know what they can do to help you get to that place where you're able to focus through contraction really helps too. Like them knowing what your comfort is. What are some common mistakes families make during labor that can increase stress or exhaustion?

SPEAKER_00 11:00

Um, interesting. Yes. Like not eating, eating. Please eat them. Oh, okay. What are we saying? I was gonna say eat, like, anyways, going without eating.

SPEAKER_01 11:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:16

Um in this day and age, eating is pretty okay. Um, in most hospitals, most care providers. Um, you wouldn't run a marathon without without your your gels and you know, your snack bars and whatever. Like, and at a certain point in labor, you're not gonna want to eat anywhere either. But up until that point, I was the exception, but that's beside the point. I was like eight centimeters and my babies would drop down, and all of a sudden my stomach had room to expand and be like, oh my gosh, I'm so hungry.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

I had a few moms that had like funny things that they wanted to eat the whole labor. It was like imp peanut MMs and like different things, and they're like, this is what I'm I didn't care what it was, it was just all of a sudden, like I was ravenously hungry. It's like this is gonna sustain me. Okay, I'm eating these MMs right now.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

But the other thing I would say too is like it was interesting you were talking about family, is I see that mistake to where people are allowing extra people into their delivery room more so well, because they don't want to rock the boat. Because, like, well, why wouldn't it have these people here? But like birth is a very intimate thing.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah, and that skin to skin time afterwards is super important. And if it gets interrupted because people want to hold the baby, you know, it really should be a few hours at least. Right.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

And it's a lot harder to focus through contractions when your father-in-law is sitting across the room from you, you know.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Yeah, I think having those people wait and understand why you'd like them to wait so that you can get through that time and and have that intimate time and have that skin to skin time where babies can regulate and and you're comfortable and you're not worried about who's gonna hold right get to hold the baby next. And also who's gonna see what. Right. Like get all cleaned up, have the baby, have the skin to skin time, have everybody regulated and and calm, and then we can have everyone come visit.

unknown 13:13

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

So I think just having those conversations and understanding it's okay to have those conversations and to say, I'd like this time with the three of us. And we're gonna have that time, and then afterwards you can come in. And I think families are a lot more open to that once they know ahead of time that that's the plan. Yeah, absolutely. What role does advocacy and communication play during labor and delivery?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Like it's everything, but also it shouldn't be because I don't think that a mom should be having to advocate for herself. Like I think, and that's I feel like you should be able to be on the same page with your care providers that a mom doesn't feel like she has to defend herself.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

Yeah, and I I think that is a good role for the birth plan too, to go over it ahead of time. Like to go over it and have a provider that's understanding and can explain to you uh the things that are on your birth plan that you picked and how they might go or how they might not go, and what kind of transition or changes you need to make in that process so that they're fully aware of like this is a guideline, this is a I'd like to try this, this isn't a solid. Right.

SPEAKER_00 14:25

And honestly, the best advocate in the room is dad.

SPEAKER_01 14:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:29

Um as doulas, we can create space for conversations, we can facilitate conversation, we can't speak for you. Um, that's not our place, like just ethically, like all the things. But when a dad comes in that knows what his partner wants and why they want it and is able to communicate that for her. Like one, she's just gonna fall head in head over heels more in love with you. Um, but it's it's kind of heard in a different way as well.

SPEAKER_01 15:08

And I think it helps to feel that support and and sometimes when they're really struggling to be reminded why they wanted to do something and why they were pushing for that. And then it gives them a little bit of strength too. Yeah. So if you could change one thing about how we educate families about birth, what would it be?

SPEAKER_00 15:29

I wish there was more just general education on the physiological birth process and how the body works.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

Uh I think that education on how the body works uh and how birth works removes so much fear from the process, um, brings a lot of understanding um into the process. Um so just overall, just education on I had somebody tell me the other day that, well, anyways, I walked away from the conversation. I was like, that was not physiologically possible, but okay. But like that was their understanding of what of what the conversation they'd had with a care provider. Right. And and I didn't take the time to explain, like it wasn't my place to explain or anything, but it was just like that was, yeah, it seemed very basic to me. And it was sad that this person like didn't know about their bodies. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_01 16:30

So what are some things moms are often unprepared for after delivery? The fundal massage.

SPEAKER_00 16:37

Yeah. When somebody, when when, when Crystal over here comes and wants to grab your spine through your belly button and rub really hard on your belly. Um, I think, and then also light the first time you get up after you have a baby and you just feel like all of your insides are gonna fall out when you get in the shower and you're bleeding and there's milk and there's and there's just like everything. And you're like, what is all the fluids? Yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:05

So how can moms protect their mental and emotional well-being in those early postpartum days?

SPEAKER_00 17:11

I really like it when families have a postpartum plan. Um, and it can be as simple as these are the things that I need to have in order to feel like a fit human being. These are red flags. Like if I haven't showered in two days, if I haven't had this much sleep, if if I'm behaving in this way and this, and then that kind of goes more into like postpartum mental health. But like having a plan of how you're going to what you need.

SPEAKER_01 17:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:43

You know, taking assessment of what do you need in order to feel like yourself.

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Yeah, I really like the nightly check-in, like with the partner of knowing, okay, this is what I experienced today. How did you experience today? Like, what did that how did that go for you? And it's really interesting to hear like the difference of what the perception was of the day. And I think it can be helpful for partners too to see, like, oh, that's how you felt today. I felt like it went great. Right. Like, right.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

Meanwhile, it's like day five, and Tom is in the middle of the baby blues, and like, oh, really, you thought it went great? Because I just thought I was the worst mom.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

Yeah. And it and I think that changes over time too, of like when you do those check-ins of like, oh, I think everything's going great, and dad is drowning. It's like he is not doing well. Yeah. So don't forget dads. What are signs that a new mom may need additional support after birth?

SPEAKER_00 18:45

I mean, she's a new mom.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

Every new mom needs support. Um, I mean, but kind of going back to that plan you made for postpartum and like are you are you showering? Are you sleeping? Um, are you eating? You know, are you being nourished? Um, are you getting a little time outside in the sunshine? You know, whatever that looked like for you. Um and then, you know, I feel like they do a really good job at the hospital of going over like some of those um red flags for, you know, something that's beyond the baby blues or um, you know, excessive crying. You can't sleep, even if your baby's sleeping, um, and you're just going for 48 hours, like manic almost, you know, like those are some signs that yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

So, and then there's also, you know, that some of it is it might just be like you are a person that has to have their kitchen sink clean every night. And so, like, that's the thing that you delegate to somebody else afterwards is like, please just keep the sink clean. Like, please just keep the laundry picked up, put the laundry away, and I will handle everything else. Like, if if it's that one thing that they could identify ahead of time that really is like a stressor for them with housework and things like that, then that's always a good thing too. Yeah. Okay, so what does a positive birth experience actually look like?

SPEAKER_00 20:19

Really, it it's so individually defined. Um, objectively, it's a birth experience where the birthing person felt respected, they felt heard, they felt seen, they felt like they were included in the process. This is not just a process of, you know, them being the carrier and a baby being taken out of them.

SPEAKER_01 20:44

And I think just healthy mom and baby too, like just knowing that everyone is doing well afterwards. So, what is the biggest takeaway you hope listeners have leaving this conversation?

SPEAKER_00 20:56

I think the biggest takeaway would be that birth is worth preparing for. Um it's more than just a medical process. It is, in a way, piercing the veil. And so preparing for that process and that transition is worth doing and it's worth educating yourself on.

unknown 21:24

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:25

So today's conversation is a good reminder that birth is unpredictable, but you do have not have to go into it without support or understanding. Having the right people around you and knowing what to expect can make a big difference in how you experience it. Until next time, stay informed, stay empowered, and we'll see you on the next Empower Indie podcast.