Eps. 26 | A Safe Place to Turn: Services at the Domestic Violence & Rape Crisis Center

A Safe Place to Turn: Services at the Domestic Violence & Rape Crisis Center
In this episode of the EmpowerND Podcast, we’re highlighting the important work of the Domestic Violence & Rape Crisis Center (DVRCC) in Dickinson and the many ways they support survivors, families, and our community.

Join Kayla from DVRCC as she shares more about the services available, what someone can expect when they reach out for help, and how the center provides a safe, confidential place for those experiencing domestic violence, sexual assault, or relationship challenges.
Whether you or someone you know needs support, understanding the resources available can be the first step toward safety, healing, and hope.
If you or someone you know needs support, help is available. You are not alone.

 NATIONAL DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HOTLINE 1−800−799−7233
Dickinson Local Hotline  1-888-225-4506
Visit the DVRCC Website: dvrccnd.com

The EmpowerND Podcast is hosted by Women Empowering Women, a membership based non-profit organization dedicated to connecting, supporting, and educating women. Through community, events, and resources, Women Empowering Women helps women grow, build confidence, and explore their potential, supporting them every step of the way as they become the best version of themselves. To learn more about Women Empowering Women’s projects or how to become a member, visit wewnetwork.org.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome back to Empower Indie Podcast. This podcast creates space for honest conversations about health, well-being, and community resources to help people in southwestern North Dakota live healthy, full lives. The Empower Indie Podcast is produced by Women Empowering Women, a nonprofit organization dedicated to connecting, supporting, and educating women to help them become the best versions of themselves. To become a member or learn more, visit wewnetwork.org. Today we're talking with Kayla from DVRCC for an important conversation about the support and services available to individuals and families in our community. In this episode, we talk about what DVRCC does, who they serve, what happens when someone calls, and how advocates can help with safety planning, protection orders, court support, sexual assault services, safe shelter, and more. Let's get started.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Okay. So tell us kind of what you do at DVRCC.

SPEAKER_00 1:08

So um we offer all of our services to all of Southwest North Dakota. Okay. Um, so that actually encompasses 10,002 square miles. Fun fact. Um, and we do have a very small staff, so it can get challenging at times. Um, but we provide safe shelter. Um, we're the only shelter from here until Bismarck. That would be the next closest one. Um, we provide some legal advocacy. Um, we'll accompany people to like medical appointments if you know if they're not comfortable going. Um we help find housing, uh, basically anything that one would need to like basically get back on their feet or start over. Um, we're more than willing to help with. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 1:56

So what types of situations can someone contact D VRCC about?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Honestly, anything. Um if you are wondering if you're even in a domestic relationship or excuse me, domestic violence relationship um or experiencing sexual abuse, human trafficking, whatever it might be, um, people can always call and just ask the questions. Um and it's always free, always confidential, and never judged. So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

What can someone expect the first time they call or connect with D VRCC?

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Um, a friendly voice. That's something we always tell everybody when they start is you've got to remember that you know you don't know who's on the other end of that line, and you have to be that person that they feel comfortable with that um will hopefully give them that piece. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:48

So DVRCC has a 24-hour crisis line. What happens when someone calls that number?

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Um, honestly, we're just there to guide people. So we will always ask, like, can you tell me a little bit about your situation and what made you want to call that line today? Um, and then they'll kind of just discuss whatever they're comfortable with telling us. Right. Um, and then we kind of just give them ideas and we give them the options. Right. And then they make the decision and then we guide them from from there, whatever they choose.

unknown 3:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

What does confidential support mean for someone who may be nervous to reach out?

SPEAKER_00 3:24

Right. So um people always hear about HIPAA with medical. Right. So it's very, it's the same thing. Um, you know, when you call, we're not gonna go um tell somebody that might be calling the line and asking for them. We always say we can't confirm or deny if we know who you're talking about. Um, law enforcement's really kind of learned that that's what we say for them too. Right. Um, we have to have a written release of information in order to disclose any information.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

So, how do advocates support someone without pressuring them or telling them what to do?

SPEAKER_00 3:55

Right. That's that guidance piece again. So give them all the options that are available to them. Um, and then they know themselves best, they know their you know situation best. So really nobody can make those decisions but them. Um sometimes people will ask, well, what would you do? But again, it's not our lives. And you know, they know what's safest for themselves, they know um the potential, you know, reactions that someone might have. So really that's all we can do is just guide them and and help them choose, you know, to choose with an informed decision, basically. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:33

So when someone reaches out, what are some of the practical things DVRCC can help them work through right away?

SPEAKER_00 4:40

Um, the most important piece is probably like safety planning. So not everybody is just ready to leave when they call. There's a million different obstacles that people have to, you know, jump through in order to get to that place where it is truly safe to leave. Um and even then they say that the first two years after you leave are actually the most dangerous because you've now taken away the control from that individual. So um after safety planning, then kind of just deciding like, do they want a protection order? Um, do they want to come into shelter? Do they want to relocate? Like, what looks like the ideal situation for them? Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:22

So if someone is dealing with protection orders, court or law enforcement, what kind of support can DVRCC provide so they don't have to navigate that alone?

SPEAKER_00 5:31

Yes, and that's a very scary process for anybody that has never done it. It's scary. Um so all of the case managers are actually certified through the Supreme Court to help facilitate domestic violence protection orders and the sexual assault restraining orders. Um so if somebody's in need of one of those, we can help sit down, like sit down with them and do their petition with them, help fill out all the information and kind of just take off some of that burden. Um we can't write the petitions for them, but we do guide them in hey, you probably better give more detail about this.

SPEAKER_01 6:05

Right.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Um, and then we're actually able to submit them to the court for them so they don't have to go through any of that.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Oh, that's good.

SPEAKER_00 6:12

And then sit at the bench with them, which um yeah, is it oftentimes gives people that that comfort of having somebody right there with them the whole time? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:22

Does someone have to report to law enforcement in order to receive support? Nope, not at all. That's a personal choice. So, what does safety planning mean and why is it helpful when even if someone is not ready or able to leave?

SPEAKER_00 6:37

Um, safety planning just kind of gives people the not if it happens again, but when it happens again. Um, this is what I need to do to make sure um either them and their children or just them are safe and can get out safe without any um anyone getting hurt. Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:58

So, what are some things uh people can do to support their safety before they're ready to make any big decisions?

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Um, so always have a plan A and a plan B. Um I always, you know, tell people only worry about the things that are irreplaceable, right? So don't worry about the, you know, the favorite pillow or something like that, because all of that can be replaced. You cannot. Your kids cannot. Um, if you know that eventually you're gonna leave and you have an opportunity to obviously put some of those irreplaceable things in a different location, right? Do that. But don't ever worry about in the moment going for those things because those are all things we can help get later.

SPEAKER_01 7:44

Right. So if someone's worried their phone location, internet use, or messages may be monitored, what are some safer ways to reach out for help?

SPEAKER_00 7:53

Um yeah, and oftentimes, you know, that is the case. So if you have a place of employment, you can always use the employment phone to call. Um, you know, sometimes people get creative in how they call. If you're at the doctor, ask to call. Um, because in that moment they can ask that your partner steps out for different reasons. Um, if you have a friend's phone that you can call from, um you can reach out on social media, email. Um, we have a 1-800 number which links directly to our local line. Um, so there's different ways. Or if you have it in you and you just want to show up at the door, you can do that too.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Right. So, what is safe shelter and when might that become part of someone's plan?

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Um, so safe shelter is basically, I like to say, you know, it's kind of we operate it as if you're in your own home. Um, yes, you have to share like communal living areas and stuff. Um, but the point when somebody makes the decision to come into shelter is, you know, not usually their first option. It's kind of their last option. Um, so if we can't do things like a protection order or something to help someone stay in their home, then usually that's when they have to locate into the shelter until it is again safe to go home or to relocate.

SPEAKER_01 9:20

Okay, so what support is available for survivors of sexual assault or rape?

SPEAKER_00 9:26

Um, so I'm actually kind of proud about what Dickinson has done. Um, we started a start process, so sexual assault response team. Um, that team kind of like responds to every um report. So whether they report to the hospital or to law enforcement or directly to us, um, we always do a joint interview. And then that really helps so that somebody only has to tell their story one time. Um, it kind of, you know, is obviously traumatizing to have to speak of something of that nature multiple times. Um, so we do it that way for that reason, and it usually gets a better prosecution too, if there's one story versus, you know, you remember things differently when you've gone through something traumatic. So sometimes it can come out different. Um, and then from there, um, there is always the option of a forensic exam. Um, and honestly, everything is an option, nothing is required. Um, they don't have to involve law enforcement, they don't have to involve us, they don't have to have the exam. It's all their choices.

unknown 10:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:37

What would you say to someone who's unsure whether the experience counts or whether they deserve help?

SPEAKER_00 10:44

Well, I think everybody deserves help. Um, and I do think that every story and every situation counts. Um, whether you think it does or not, you're just as important as anyone else. What are some common reasons people wait to reach out for support? Kids. That's probably the most common. Um you know, they don't want to break up a family for kids. Um, but getting support and getting help doesn't necessarily mean you're breaking up your family. It just means you're choosing to have a healthy family. Um, but I would honestly say kids is probably the biggest barrier.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

For someone listening who's wondering, is this bad enough to ask for help? What what do you want them to know?

SPEAKER_00 11:31

You can always ask for help. It doesn't there is no bad enough, if you ask me. Um any sort of abuse is abuse, plain and simple, and you can absolutely call and ask for help.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

How can friends or family support someone they are worried about without pushing them away?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

That's hard, especially as family, you think you know what's best for someone. Um, so truly just listening to what they want and what they need, and then maybe just being that hand holder, you know, like, okay, I understand you're scared, but let's call together. Right, you know, or um, you know, maybe they're just scared to drive over to us, drive them there and then give them that space.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:22

Um, but yeah, obviously never force them to do anything because that can oftentimes push them back even further.

SPEAKER_01 12:30

What are helpful things to say and what should people avoid saying, even if they mean well?

SPEAKER_00 12:36

Don't ever say I understand because you don't understand. Everyone's situation is different. And even if yours is very similar, you don't understand what that person is going through. Um, and the most important thing that we tell everyone, including like the kids when we talk at the high school, is if someone discloses something to you of that sort of like um intimacy, like if they've been sexually assaulted, believe them. Even if it sounds like so far out there that it can't be true, believe them. Because if you don't, you're the last person they're ever gonna tell. Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:15

So, how can people contact DVRCC? And can you please share the 24-hour crisis line number for anyone who may need it?

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Um, yeah. So um, as I stated before, we have the hotline, we have our local line, we have a Facebook, um, we have an email, and then you can obviously just show up. Um, law enforcement can patch you through all kinds of different ways of that. And then our crisis line is 701-225-4506.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

Okay, so for anyone listening, we hope this conversation reminds you that you do not have to be an immediate crisis. Have all the answers or know exactly what you need before reaching out. Sometimes the first step is simply asking a question, talking through what is happening, and learning what options are available. Until next time, stay informed, stay empowered, and we'll see you on the next Empower Indie Podcast.