# 23 Tehira Ngarino | Building Business & Brotherhoods

Some people are defined by what happened to them. Others decide to rewrite the story.

Born and raised in Porirua, New Zealand, Tehira Nargino's journey has been anything but ordinary. Carrying the weight of his childhood trauma, he left home and ventured into a world few would expect—travelling internationally as a performer with one of Australia's most renowned male entertainment groups, Manpower.

But behind the stage lights was a man searching for purpose, identity, and healing.

Tehira went on to build successful businesses, owning multiple hair salons and establishing himself as an entrepreneur with a relentless drive to create more for his life. Today, he dedicates himself to something even greater: mentoring men, building brotherhood, and leading within his community.

In this deeply honest episode, Tehira shares the experiences that shaped him, the lessons he learned, and how he transformed adversity into purpose.

This isn't just a story about where Tehira has been—it's about the man he chose to become. 

Healing isn't about changing your past. It's about refusing to let your past decide your future.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hi, I'm Time Manner. And I'm Renee. And we're Burning Bridges Podcast.

SPEAKER_02 0:08

We started this podcast through my own life experiences and a journey to healing. I've always been curious about what others have gone through and the moments that have defined them.

SPEAKER_00 0:17

Here we believe in the power of storytelling through raw, unfiltered conversations with high-profile to everyday people. Like, follow, subscribe, and turn your notifications on.

SPEAKER_01 0:27

Let's get into this episode. The following episode may contain discussions of sensitive and potentially distressing topics. Viewer discretion is strongly advised. This content is intended for mature audiences and may not be suitable for all listeners for informational purposes only and does not constitute professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

SPEAKER_05 0:48

My name is Tahita Nardin or to my I'm here with burning bridges. We're about to drop some bombs and get it down. It's a privilege to be here. 30 plus years I've been in business, done a lot of things throughout my lifetime, and we're about to lay it down for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:13

Welcome to my hood.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

We've had a bit to do with each other in the past year or so now. I and I always love coming down, hanging with you, doing the men's walk and talk with you and the other guys that that come on to it. And um, yeah, each time I come down, I'm I'm learning something. So it's really good. Yeah, I really love what you do, everything about you, your aura, the person you are, and I even look at you as a mentor, thank you, my brother, as um what you do, and the conversations we have always deep.

SPEAKER_05 1:46

Deep, deep. I mean, we had a big, deep one this morning. I forgot we had to do a podcast after this, and I'm like going, oh, you've got to get your energy back up again, baby.

SPEAKER_02 1:55

Yeah, no, cool. So, yeah, tell us about your life and where you grew up and how that was your childhood.

SPEAKER_05 2:02

Yeah, I mean, you know, every child that grows through life has a story to tell. And, you know, you could live in the same room under the same rules, and you have a different perspective than your sibling. Um, my childhood was filled with love. It was, you know, my parents were beautiful, and you know, at some point in my life I didn't think that was right. But as you get older in life, you realize that when they had you, they were 20. And so they were operating as a 20-year-old. Then I remember back to when I was 20 and like going, they did a lot better job than when I was 20. You know, so you you start parking the victim and you start playing the victor. And you actually start praising your parents for everything that they did right for the level they were on at the age they were at. So, you know, even at five years old, they were 25. At 10 years old, they were 30. You know, you remember back when you were 30, 35, 40, 45? Even for men, right? We don't mature really until we get to that about that mid-40s, towards the 50, because we realize that we're not kids anymore, and we can't play the games we used to play. You can't manipulate the story that you tell yourself because others see through your bullshit. And so I look at my parents now and go, you're a machine. You know, for what you had, you didn't have a lot, but you had a lot of love. Yeah, you made plenty of mistakes, and yes, alcohol was in the way, uh, but you were going through your own traumas. So I parked all of the ugliness that I felt long, long time ago. Um, other people not so lucky, they didn't do enough work on themselves to be able to heal fast. And healing is about understanding, not just your trauma, but theirs. Because, you know, my dad at 72 found out that he that his mum wasn't what his father was not his father. At 72, he went down the ancestral.com road. And, you know, his mum was promiscuous, you know, she she was the drunk. And I I was around drunks all the time. I I hated it, couldn't stand it. Ended up being an alcoholic myself later on in life. But my grandfather was the only one that didn't drink. So at five years old, I gravitated towards him because he was my safety and he was a machine. This guy was like everything to me. So when my dad came to me and he says, um, because my dad's always wanted um, he's always wanted um to make himself feel like, you know, sorry, son, type thing without saying sorry. And I'm like, dad, you don't need to say sorry about nothing, mate. You know, you you you you you're a beautiful human being. Well, yeah, sure. We all fuck up, we all make mistakes, we all do things that maybe we shouldn't have done, but man, we're we're all human, we're all here to have an experience, and we're all human. So it was uh, you know, when he came to me with this, um, his father wasn't his father. The first words that came out of my mouth to him was, your father is your father. He was a great man. He knew that you weren't his. He also knew that your younger sister wasn't his, but he still chose to bring you up. And and without telling you anything, he would have known. And it's like, you know, oh, you know, my mother, my mother. Forgive your mother. Imagine the trauma that that lady had gone through. So you've got to understand the other side. You know, it doesn't matter how bad it is for you. Understanding the other side allows you to release what they bestowed on you that wasn't yours in the first place. And when you can understand, you can release. And the more you understand, the more you can release because you're releasing from yourself. You're not holding on to that hurrah or that mama or you know, whatever it is that's blocking you. When we were talking about this morning, about the subconscious mind that none of us activate because we don't want to go into that because it's too painful. But the subconscious is a computer that downloads and uploads everything it sees, hears, smells, touches, it's already there. So most of us leave that behind and operate in the conscious world, which is only a small piece of the action, but the blueprint's under here. And when we can operate the when we can understand the blueprint, we can understand the blocks, the traumas, but we can also, like we said this morning, find the nuggets, the golden nuggets. Because that's the key to unlocking for you, peace. But what is peace? You know, what is peace? For pe peace for many people, just like anything in life, it's a different perspective depending on peace. But to have true peace in life, you have to be ready to go to war. Because you can't have it, you can't have peace with without war. So you have to be willing to go to war in order to get the peace, and you have to go to war with uh yourself. And if you're not willing to go to war with yourself, then you'll always fight others that never hurt you. So, what was the war you went through to get your peace? Release. Release that wasn't mine.

SPEAKER_04 7:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:06

Because I would tremor because I had a lot of violence as a child. Drinking, alcohol, what do you what do you put you know, people that have got trauma, a lot of men beating up ladies, so like trauma. Like for me, anytime anybody would come with me to a with a um anytime voices got loud, my hand would go. Be finished. Because I was five, four, three, so you can't save nobody. All you can do is run. But that running, now you're running from everything. As soon as you see fear, you run. When all you have to do is sit there. You know, like I told you this morning, when you walk into that office and people on the other side and they want to they want to pizza you, bro. I ain't moving until we sort it out. And once we sort it out, both shake hands and it'll be done. And it's that easy, right? But when we don't want to face our own cocoon that we wrap this child in that is so tight, you can't even pick at this thing. But that no longer operates as a child. Uh sorry, whatever you did as a child doesn't operate as an adult. And then it becomes your part story that nobody can impregnate this arena because you can't impregnate it, or you think you can't because it's too scary. So most people don't want to relive trauma, but it's not gonna kill you, it's gonna save you. And you have to go deep into the center of the problem until it doesn't hurt no more. And in Maori, we call that tekore. And tekore is the center of everything in which nothing lies. So everything grows.

SPEAKER_02 8:47

I love that. Yeah, as you're saying before, as a five-year-old, running from whatever it was, and that's what saves you as a five-year-old. But when you hold that and you take that into your adulthood, and because that's your now your default, when you've got that trigger to run, that's what holds you back because you're still doing it as an adult. You're still running from whatever it is, and that's where you've got to learn to face it.

SPEAKER_05 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

And then go into that dark place.

SPEAKER_05 9:17

It becomes your paradigm.

SPEAKER_02 9:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 9:19

Right? Your paradigm is an is is built from external factors. It's not internal, it's what you've learned, what you've seen, what you've smelt, what you've tasted, what is your fear, what do you like. That becomes your paradigm, becomes your blueprint in everything. Your belief system is your paradigm. Your belief system is your blueprint, and your belief system runs all systems. So, again, like as a child, we were talking about this morning when we were on our walk. A child, if they don't get what they want, they doesn't matter where you are, it could be in the wool-where's line and child's on the back and kicking and screaming and cussing because it didn't get its chocolate. So, as an adult, you know, now we're doing drugs and alcohol and kicking and screaming because we didn't get what we wanted. Because of the trauma that that cocoon that we wrapped that child in hasn't been faced. But once we penetrate that and realize it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger. But you've got to go in it and you've got to feel it, and you've got to feel it to heal it. Because if you don't, then it's gonna rule your life for the rest of your life. Trauma will never go away, but you can learn to live with it. It just doesn't have to overtake your nervous system when the trigger happens. And nothing gets fixed when the trigger's happening. If you've got two people who are triggered, it's a it's a screaming match on who's right or wrong. It's not a solution-based argument because the solution-based, come in. I'm in all day. Let's find a solution. Because if we find a solution, we can make a business. Because you know, a solution finder is a solution to the problem that you can make a business of. And every business is like that. Whatever the solution is to a problem becomes the business.

SPEAKER_02 10:52

Yeah, it's about controlling your trauma rather than the trauma controlling you into negative and bad emotions.

SPEAKER_05 10:59

Yeah, it's about understanding the trauma, right? Go deep. Go deep because you can't go surface level, right? Because you've got to understand. And once you understand, you can actually forgive. And forgive to a lot of people is a hard word, right? It's a hard word. How am I fucking gonna forgive that guy or that girl or that person or this or that? Well, in order to forgive, you have to forgive yourself. Because you have to trust yourself. And the only way you can do that is relive the moment until it doesn't hurt no more. And you can go, hey, the reason why this may have happened to me is because I need to save other people before it happens to them. Or I could also save people who has had it happen to them, and I can bring them into this circle where they feel safe enough to share. And if they feel safe enough to share, then they're actually reliving the moment until it doesn't hurt no more. And then they can forgive whoever gave it to them. Because normally hurt people bleed on the people who never hurt them. So if we can switch that around, then they can become understanding. And like when I used to talk about this stuff, it used to make me cry. Now I just get this funny, floaty feeling, you know, because it's powerful. It's powerful to know. And don't get me wrong, my story's not that bad. But it was bad enough for me as a child, because who am I to judge what your trauma is and what my trauma is? And who are you to judge me to tell me what trauma I'm feeling on, what level I'm feeling on to compared to what level you're feeling on. You know, so it's uh one of those, one of those things that's um it's uh like we talked about this morning again, yin and yang, right? The give and take, the understanding of the frequency that we're all on in order to give, to receive, in order to understand is to receive and then let it go. Let it go.

SPEAKER_02 12:59

Talking about your story as a child, and you've got a lot of wisdom now, and you've been through a lot, you've had a lot of successes, uh along with a lot of sort of downfalls as well, struggles in your life. Take us back to what's made you who you are with the wisdom you have now through your successes and your failures you've had.

SPEAKER_05 13:20

Yeah, love that. Love that, bro. Because on the outside, everybody thinks, oh, this guy kills it, crushes it, touches something, boom, kills it. Bro, I fail till I succeed. But I only need to succeed once. But I'll fail a trillion times to succeed. And sometimes I'll go down this rail road of rabbit hole, rabbit hole, rabbit hole, keep on going, keep on going, failing the whole time through it. Failed for 30 years in business, ran no systems, no structure, no SOPs, no infrastructure, no policies, just winged it through ego. Ego driven, right? And you need ego, but you don't want your ego to override logic. Because once that happens, then you'll make mistakes all day long. And you'll keep making the same mistake in 30 years or past, you'll go, why didn't I make any money? The thing that saved me in business was I seen these barbers down the road, and they were probably about, you know, 60-ish. They're the old school barbers, two Calabrian fellas, beautiful men, and they were about to sell their barber shop for $35,000. I said, How long have you been in the shop for? I said, Oh, 30 years. Well, why didn't you buy it, bro? I said, then you guys would have been selling the shop for a million and splitting 500,000. They're like, oh, you know, things happened and we couldn't afford it, we couldn't do this. And there, I am telling giving them the advice, and I haven't even bought my shop. But my aim was always to buy the shop.

SPEAKER_02 14:45

So you were a hairdresser, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 14:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I'm I'm I'm I've been a hairdresser since I was 15 years old starting that game. But I was a businessman at five, and I always knew where I was going. So this is goes back to my grandfather, right? So my grandfather gives myself and my sister 50 cents, and we go down to the um local dairy or 7-Eleven or whatever, whatever, whatever we call it over here. And um, back then they had the big round Boston buns with the cream and the coconut on it, right? All the fellas in New Zealand know that what that one. They don't have those anymore. They have the little finger buns, they call them over here. Um, that was uh 20 cents back then. And my sister bought 50 cents of mixed lollies. We go home. My grandfather's like, goes to my sister, what'd you buy? She goes, Oh, I bought the 50 cents mixed lollies. What'd you buy? I bought the Boston bun. I said, I'm gonna cut half, and then me and you're gonna share, we're gonna share this half today, and we're gonna share half again tomorrow. And I said, and I've got 30 cents left in my back pocket, and I'm just gonna save that. And he's like, To my sister, what happened to your mixed lollies? She goes, I ate them. He's like, You're gonna be a great businessman one day. You know, so from there, I knew because I grew up in poverty, right? When I say poverty, I look at that word poverty, and there's you know, people understand poverty bay, bay of plenty. Yeah, so they're sort of next to each other. Poverty bay, bay of plenty. Now, one man's poverty is another man's riches because where there's poverty, there's connection because that's what they have, that's what they understand. And connection is the Bay of Plenty. And in the Bay of Plenty, all they're doing is taking because there's plenty to take. In poverty Bay, all they're doing is giving because there's plenty to give. And I'd rather be in poverty than plenty. That's a great, you know, analogy of when I look at poverty now and I go back to like put it, and people call it, you know, low social economic, nah man, those guys are rich. You can go to anybody, and they'd be like, oh bro, you know, I went back there because I bought a salon back there. It was the salon that I first worked at when I was back in New Zealand, and I bought my mate's salon, and then I bought his boss's salon, and then I connected my salon together. So I bought the three salons together to connect them as one. Um, but when I went back there to do the salon up, I forgot that people say hello at their strangers, right? Because over here, you only get to say hello. Well, you'll get a hello in the morning when you're walking on the Gold Coast. Everybody says hello to you, but it's it's a superficial hello. It's a good morning. Whereas over there, it's a hello, let's stop and have a chat. And so I'm off to go, you know, Kmart, get some fake flowers and all that sort of stuff, and I'm walking away. Hey bro, how are you? Up to oh, chair, colours, up to you. And then the next minute you're having a chat to somebody you don't know. And I'm like, that's if that's poverty, give me a bunch of that all day. Yeah, so um it's uh it's a crazy thing when I say I grew up, grew up in poverty, but knowing what I know now, that wasn't poverty. You know, that was connection.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

I definitely agree with that. That's how I I look back now, we didn't really have much. We got one Easter egg for Easter. Yeah, not 20, what you get now, but we didn't it we didn't care, we didn't think that was a bad thing because the day my parents gave us time. Yeah, so you talk about connection, which is giving time. Yep. And that's what we grew up with. So I I I think back, I'm like, we didn't live in it poverty, yeah, but we had everything.

SPEAKER_04 18:18

Everything.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

And not a lot at the same time.

SPEAKER_05 18:20

But you had everything you need, right? Yeah. You had everything you needed. Yeah. And what most people needed more than what we thought we needed was the connection and love. You know, so I always go back to that, right? I had a lot of love in my family because you can't buy that, you can't fake it. You it's it's either there or it's not there. You know, even at five years old, like I was I was climbing frigging trees at the back of my house, cutting down pine cones, putting them in the sacks, taking them to the neighbors to sell them for five bucks so that they can start their fire, because all my neighbors were old. So I'd, you know, that's what that's you know, like we're talking business and entrepreneurial stuff. I was making like I was making stuff out of nothing. You know, like graduated to to the paper run and then the milk run, and then bought my first business at 19, which was my first hair salon. Uh, you know, and then just graduated from there. But again, you know, when I look at um what we had, you can get lost along that road. And you can, you know, today's era, there's no connection. You know, when we when we catch up with the Tanematua boys, it's not it's not about having a little chin wag. Hey, bro, up to, or how's work? How's the missus? And then it finishes. Like, that's not talking. You know, you go along this road and you see the ladies, right? They're clucking like hens. And they talk about anything, nothing's off the table. They're talking about everything. Men, you know, to in order to get a man to really dig in and have a good chat, and this is why Adam's great at it, is that it's very hard to penetrate through the masks that we have to wear in order to be this, you know, on the outside.

SPEAKER_04 19:57

Everybody says, Oh, this guy girls are rushing a man, this guy's a business man, oh, this guy's this, this guy's that.

SPEAKER_05 20:03

You know, when I ask you who you are as a person, most men will say, Oh, I'm a I'm a I'm a hairdresser, I'm a business owner, I'm a father, bro. That's not who you are. Who you are is your distractions and your intentions. That's what makes up who you are. And when you understand, we go back to understanding again. Once you understand how many distractions you have versus the intentions that you have, you can start eliminating some of these distractions and adding more sufficient intentions. And then all of a sudden, you start living your conscious and your subconscious starts catching up to each other. Now, all of a sudden, you're living an intentional lifestyle that is focused on improved behavior that then forces a focus that you can maintain, and that will allow you to really be able to settle down and say, what sort of life do I want to live? What sort of experience do I want to have in this world? And then you can gather all the bits and pieces that every moment of your day is the experience that you want to have at that time because we're all just one click away from making the right decision for us. And everybody's decision is different. So, my life that I set up when I was um coming through the ranks and all the stuff, and you know, started dancing and all that sort of stuff. I what I loved about it is that I had this freedom, had no boss. We were dancing around the world, we were getting paid for it, you know, we're getting drunk, we're doing all the things, and then come back. And I had this, didn't have to go to work, just waited for the next tour to happen, had enough money in there, you know. But you can't keep that lifestyle up. But I was in my head, I was saying, how can I keep this lifestyle up where I don't have to worry about anything? Finances are sorted out. I can do what I want when I want, when I wherever I want, with whoever I want. And so when I went on that path. I got back at 35 years old. I was broke. I was I was alcoholic. I was a drug addict. I was a womanizer. I was all the things that you don't want to be. And it took me a long time to get rid of that stuff. But I told myself, I'll give myself 10 years to retire. So I went on that journey to do it in 10 years. And my first journey was to write down on my bank statement, $100,000 in my bank. And I pinned that up on my wall. And once I did that, within a year, there was $90,000 in my bank. And then the next pin was I buy this building within six years for $500,000. But it was pinned inside where the till was. So every time the till opened, that would come up as my as my mantra. And on the sixth year, I bought that building for $500,000. Now, the people who owned it wanted $900,000. I only had at that stage, because I put everybody think back into the business, $30,000. So they wanted $900,000. I had $30,000. You need $120,000, even if it's a $500,000 loan. I'm like, I'm like $600,000 away from making this deal happen. And the ladies just said to me, hey, why don't we just go down the road and see what happens? I went, yeah, let's go down the road and see what happens. They came in at $890,000. I went in at $450,000. The lady's like, you can't go in at $450,000. I'm like, let's just go down this road and see what happens. And remember, these people were Chinese, right? So if you've ever negotiated with a Chinese person, they don't negotiate. But I'd already known the price that they wanted it for because I used to cut, well, I was cutting the lady's hair who was the real estate agent, and she was the one that came and told me. So I already had a little bit of information up my sleeve. So anyway, we went back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. They came back, they said yes to $505,000 in the end after all the negotiations. And I'm like, that's sweet. Where am I going to get this money from for the deposit, though? Because remember, you've got to transfer it into your name. I need $120,000. The $30,000 is going to cover legal fees and the transfer. The transfer is going to be $28,000 for a $500,000 payment. And then you've got a couple of grand for your for your legal fees. And so I'm on the phone, and as I'm on the phone, my grandfather hears me on the phone and he's like, Do you need $120,000? I went, Yeah. He goes, All right, I'll lend it to you. I said, I'll tell you what, you give me the $120,000, and within a couple of years, I'll double it and give it back to you. And he's like, Yep, done. So, you know, you go from $600,000 and within one week, you're $600,000 away from making a deal. You go down the path and you do the things and you read your mantra, and then all of a sudden, boom, you're signing on the dotted line and that building's yours. And that's the thing that saved me when I decided to sell everything, right? Because businesses are not worth anything if you're the master behind the business. So if you if you don't work in the business, your business isn't going to pop properly. When you're talking about serviceable businesses, hair salons, um, even cafes, you need to work in it to make money. So all of these learnings and teachings teach you all of this thing. And then COVID came along and shut all my businesses in a moment, in a split second. One minute you have eight businesses open, next minute you have zero businesses open, and nobody gave a shit about you. And COVID, if it wasn't here to teach you a lesson, you know, here I am with all these businesses, they're all shut. What do you do? You got businesses in New Zealand, you've got businesses in Australia, you're trying to navigate the space, you're trying to stay stoic, you're trying to do all the things. I, you know, we get through that moment, we get through those processes, we get through everything that happened through there. And then what happened was I ended up retiring. So I gave myself the 10 years, 2008, retired 2018. Still had the businesses, but wasn't operating them, just working in the back end. Last year I sold everything. I decided it's it's time, it's got to go. But you're not gonna sell nothing if it's not worth anything. But the saving grace, I owned the building. So everybody up, sell the building, take what you can, and then the government comes for you for taxes. You know, taxes on everything. You're like, how did I do 30 years in business to end up with virtually nothing? But again, that's a learning curve. So you go, okay, cool. I'm gonna go on this learning curve. I'm gonna operate businesses online, built another six to seven businesses online, go where the money is, no staff, got the stock there, do all the bits and pieces. Plus, you've got to go down the road of knowing where to put the money, where to invest the money so that money comes back to you. So, you know, when you're investing in businesses and money, you want to make sure that everything is coming back to you at some point. It's that's the learning curve of owning bricks and mortar to then coming back to putting yourself in a better position knowing what COVID did to you. Everybody online survived beautifully. Everybody in bricks and mortar pretty much lost it or just barely survived. And some of them, it took a toll over the next five, six, seven years. And then all of a sudden, now we are where are we? We're back in the trenches again, you know, talking about this, that, the other, you know, economy going down and petrol prices and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. If it didn't teach you something, then you need to go through the lesson again until you learn the lesson.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Going back, you were talking about you were dancing, and that was a big learning for you to go in business again. And you're dancing, you're one of the OGs of Manpower.

SPEAKER_05 27:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:39

And through that journey where you got to travel the world with manpower, what was that experience like being in manpower, the original dancers of manpower?

SPEAKER_05 27:49

You know, bro, it was funny because everything has a story, right? And so we're young fellas back then. You know, I was 20, 24, yeah, 24. And one of the bros in New Zealand says to me, Hey, did you see that interview on TV last night? I'm like, nah. He goes, Oh, this group called Plague International. They're they're they're strippers and they're looking for um somebody to join their crew. And I'm like, oh yeah. He goes, You should go for it. I said, nah, man, we all go for it. Let's let's all have a crack. You know, I'm that guy, right? I'm that guy. I'm I'm like, I'll have a crack at anything. And before that, I heard that, I the salon that I had that I first bought, it was a one-man band, it was just me, right? And and it was when I looked at this place, and again, I I have to be free. I can't be imprisoned in anywhere. Because once I'm imprisoned in something and all the smoke clears, I see it for what it is. And my salon was a six by four. And I'm like, this is just a prison cell. I'm I'm I'm I'm having to stay here from this time till this time until I'm allowed out. Otherwise, if I don't, I can't pay the bill. And I'm like, nah, stuffed this. They go, Well, what do you want to do? I said, I'm gonna go travel the world at somebody else's expense. How are you gonna do that? I don't bloody know, but I'll figure it out. So then this opportunity comes. So anyway, we head onto the city, we get this interview, and um uh this guy named Danny Valentine and his missus are sitting there doing the interview, and he goes, Why do you want to be um our next dancer, entertainer? They caught it as a nice word. Um, and I said, You give me six months and I'll be your best entertainer. They're like, okay, yeah, sweet. So anyway, I walk away from there. I said, There's no way I'm getting that job, right? Then next minute, the phone rings, uh, you got the job. Sweet. Piss the salon off, we're off on the road. So, you know, we we we do that. I I ride with these guys for um for probably about six months to a year, and then I realize that Danny Valentine doesn't own it. A guy named Brian owns it, and he owns so like King's Cross in Sydney, we're the same in Vivian Street, Wellington. Right? That's the King's Cross, it's the same sort of vibe, prostitutes and strippers and all the things, right? It's the it's the cool vibe, it's the adult world. So um Danny Valentine gets this gets this phone call from Brian, and he's like, doesn't tell him what it's about, but tells him that it's not good. And he looks at me and he's like, did we do something on tour that you know we shouldn't have done? I'm like, we've done a lot of things on tour we shouldn't have done. But anyway, he said, I don't know what you're up to, my bro. Anyway, we get back and he's like, Um, bro, you stole money off me. And I'm like, oh no, that's the last thing we were thinking, not that, not that. Definitely not that. But anyway, they piss him off. And he Brian comes to me, Brian LeGroux comes to me, and he's like, What are you doing? I said, What are you doing? And he's like, You want to run the show? Yeah, bro, I'll run the show. So, anyway, I take over. So it took me a little longer than six months, but now I'm running the whole thing. So manpower comes over, they invite us to their night, and we get them and we invite them to ours. And then as I'm finished my my show, the boys all come up to me, oh, you should come over to us, like blah la la la la la. So I go to Brian, you know, this is the loyal thing that I am, right? So I've only been a couple of things in my life. One is a hairdresser and the other is a dancer. And anytime that I've worked for somebody, I've worked for them for a long, long time. And you have to do something pretty full on to me in order for me to jump ship. So I go to Brian and I said, Listen, I could go to Australia and join Manpower and tour the world now, or I can wait here with you and we can get this crew together and we can go ourselves. And then South Africa rang me. And they've got what they called the Warriors. So I can go to South Africa, I can go to Manpower. Which one should I go? And then Sydney Hotshots was on the mark too, so they were having it having a crack as well. So, and the funny thing is, is that when I first started dancing, there was a photo, uh, a poster on the wall, and I'm like, What do you fellas got a poster of manpower on your wall for? Who are they? They go, Oh, that's the best dancing troupe in the world. And I'm like, Oh, what the fuck am I doing here then? He said, I'm out, I'm off. But I gave Brian a year, so a year came along, we still didn't get the right crew together in order to tour. I said, But it's been a year. I don't have much more time. I know you do, but I don't, I'm out of here. So in 1996, June, um, there was a guy named Sean Donahy, who uh you know Sean. Um he was in Wellington at the time. He was dancing with us, and then he came over here to join Manpower. He rings me up and he's like, bro, it's not happening. I think I'm coming home. I said, bro, no, you're not. You're staying there. I'm coming over. We're getting into manpower, don't worry about it. So I leave, I have 1500 bucks, I have a suitcase, I have nowhere to live, and I have no job. Let's go, bro. We're on, we're on. So we get there. Sean, I meet him in um Surface Paradise outside of um uh Hard Rock Cafe, it's not there anymore. But we get there and I'm just like, ah, this is the life, this is it. I don't care what happens, this is it. You know, you're coming from Purdue, remember? Next minute you're in Surface Paradise with all the big lights and the who's who and the girls walking around, and I don't know what, but anyway, I'll say yes to everything. So we get there and we do all the things, and then we sleep on his sister's couch that night. And I said, tomorrow we go walking and we go find this place that we're going to live. So we go walking down and we get a place in Enderley Avenue just up by Surface Paradise there. Beautiful place, $230 a week. Sweet. How much bond you want? $500 perfect.

SPEAKER_02 33:32

Easy. So now you got a thousand dollars.

SPEAKER_05 33:34

So now we get a thousand dollars, right? So we get okay, I need a car, sweet. We go down the road. Hey, bro, need a car, yeah. Cool, man. You can pay me off a couple of hundred bucks a week. Just put a couple of hundred dollars on it. Yep, sweet, done. So I got 800 bucks. So now we go around to all the nightclubs and we just go and find out where we can work, right? Where it's laptop dancing or friggin' poke, like sorry, lap dancing or you know, dancing on a pole, I don't care what it is, but we just get jobs stripping. So we we owned the whole of Surface Paradise, all the way down to Broad Beach, and we were busy, right? So we were just rocking it straight away. You know, you get a you get a couple of hundred dollars every time that you dance.

SPEAKER_02 34:09

So, how did that happen? You go into the nightclubs and you're going in there and saying what to the owner?

SPEAKER_05 34:15

You better hire me.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

That's it. That's all I say to anybody, you know.

SPEAKER_05 34:21

Like, don't they? Well, who are you? If you don't like it, then don't pay me. Pretty simple. Okay. You know what I mean? You better hire me, don't pay you. If you don't like it, don't pay me. Or just part ways, all good. And that's what we did. But you know, when you're when you're walking in with that type of confidence, you better be able to deliver. And if you can't deliver, well, all good. It's a handshack. Because I've had somebody do that to me. And I go, bro, you just did what I did. Go jump on. I'm like, oh my goodness, we got the wrong guy. Get him off that stage.

SPEAKER_02 34:49

So get them off the stage. So at this stage, it's you and Sean walking around to these nightclubs and just like don't forget though, bro.

SPEAKER_05 34:57

You know, we're just smooth-looking characters, yeah. Back then, yeah. Like we had the bees' knees, right? Yeah, and we're the two Māori boys from New Zealand in Surface Paradise. So we're now the big fish in the small pond. Like everybody wanted us at that club. Once we got into one, everybody wanted us at their club. Then we'd also got manpower behind us. So we're here to join manpower. Oh, these are the new manpower boys. Ah, yeah, get them in, get them in. So we were everywhere. And then we would go into any um competition that there was, you know, Sean would always win and I'd come second. You know, we'd live together. Every like the, you know, Sean and I have been mates for like over 30 years, and we've always been like that. Always, you know, no matter what's happened, we've always been really, really close. So um, you know, that's that's the journey we went on. And then Manpower, we started touring in 1998. You know, 1998 we started to tour with Manpower. We went on our first tour to um Singapore. And and then, you know, the story goes. And then, you know, I was in Manpower for probably I was only in Manpower for a short amount of time. Sean stayed there for longer. Because what happened with me in the end is I ended up moving to Sydney. And as I moved to Sydney, a Billy Cross, who owned Manpower, called a guy named Joe Elias. And Joe Elias is Benny Elias' brother. And Joe Elias owned a boat on Darling Harbour, and Ben and Um Billy said to him, Hey, there's this there's this brother coming down, look after him. He's freaking amazing. Like, you know, he'll he'll he'll do you well. So anyway, I jump on this boat, and me and Joe Elias hit it off like a house on fire. And then I ended up running Wild Boys afloat for 20 years. You know, it's like, but again, you know, you're going, you're getting into the Sydney crew now, and so everywhere you went, like everybody's like, Yep, hire him, yep, get him, yep, get him, yep, get him. He's he's the guy. So, you know, you go down that road.

SPEAKER_02 36:45

And what was the life like on the road for you with manpower? Like, yeah, I've heard some stories with you and Sean telling me it's pretty out of it. Like for me myself, not in that world. Yep, and you know, I was here I am around that time. I'm just raising kids. Used are like traveling the world, touring, and you're doing out of it things uh out of the swell compared to me. So, can you tell us what are you willing to talk about with that? Yeah, man.

SPEAKER_05 37:15

I mean, obviously, there's there's a lot that goes on with that, and you do you really need to be a single guy to be doing it, right? Because you've just got a plather right at your feet, and they're not there to just look, they're there to partake. And that's your job, right? Your job is to take a lady on a on a journey that she's never been on before, and the better you are at it, the more plather that that is gonna be at your doorstep. And so, you know, it's it's and it's not just um because it's an art form, right? Is that when you're when you're performing, you're looking at, and you know, don't forget, manpower's the best in the world. And I only want to operate in that in that genre. So you better be really good at what you do, and you've got to understand. We go back to understanding again. You know, you better understand what they want and how you're gonna deliver it. And so, you know, you've got to come out with a bang, and then you've got to keep on rising. And even when you dip the slong, the song, not the slong, but the song. Don't dip the slong, not on not on stage. When you when you start to dip into the sexier songs, you're still elevating. So you're taking them on this whole other journey, right up until, and we're not even take talking about taking clothes off, we're talking about songs, movements, and bits and pieces that go along with that. So by the time you're finished, they're just like, what the fuck did I just witness? And that's the you know, for me, when I was on stage, I used to, I never remembered the actual. I remember what I do, because I've obviously you're an autopilot, but I I drift away that far because you need to become something else in order to be able to deliver what you just delivered. And it better be sensual, entertaining, physically, emotionally, and spiritually connected, where you took them from wherever they were to somewhere else. And they're just like, then that's that's the power of it. Okay, that's the power of any movement, of any dance or any flow, depending on what you're delivering it for.

SPEAKER_02 39:16

You have your elite athletes, right? Sports people, and you were in the elite in your craft, in your art as a dancer, performer, and you were up there on the top of the top to be able to do that and stay up there and then just yeah, travel the world. Yeah. Even talking about athletes, you're also an athlete. Yeah, you also represented New Zealand and touch football. Yep. What age were you at when you made that team?

SPEAKER_05 39:47

Yeah, that's an another story along itself, right? Because um I started touch footy late because I played rugby league most of my younger years, and I was quite good at it. And I ended up making the St. George team in New Zealand premier years when I was 17. Then I I went back down to the under-19s because I was playing between both, and I was captain of the under-19s and playing in the Prems at the same time. Grand final come, under-19s, and I get taken out. Both knees hyper extended, bust them up big time. So, you know, that took a couple of years to to heal from that because back then there was no keyhole surgery. They cut your side sweep open to get into whatever's going wrong. So I was like, nah, nah, I don't want none of that. I'm just gonna let it heal and do its thing. So that took a couple of years. By the time I went back, I sort of lost my mojo, didn't feel right, so I stopped playing. Um, plus, I was obviously hairdressing and doing the stuff. So I started playing touch footy as uh as uh an outlet and ended up becoming quite good at that. I made the Wellington men's team when I was quite young go to the nationals and all that, and this Auckland side kept on smashing us, like would just absolutely towel us up. And I'm like, man, it'll be good to play with those guys and be just as good as them one day. So then I go on tour, obviously, the manpower thing happens, and this, that, the other. By the time I come back, I'm 35 years old, but I'm still keen to play touch footy. So I go back and I start playing again. Then the knees have obviously taken a hammering over the time. Dancing doesn't help, standing up on your feet doesn't help. But I got to around about 43 years old, and I went, I've probably got another two years left in me that I'm that I'm quality, and I really want to make the New Zealand side. So I made him one who was living up here, says, Bro, come up here and play in this tournament. So I come up and play in this tournament. He goes, Oh, this guy here is Bruce MacDonald. He was the New Zealand captain, he's played for Peter Walters, Peter Walders is the goat of my time. These are the guys that used to give us a hiding. He goes, Oh, so I play in this team with him, and we make the grand finals, and it gets down to the bottom three, and it's me, him, and another guy on, and we end up winning this game, right? And I ended up scoring the try, and he ends up giving it to me. So we got this real mad connection. He goes, bro, come, I'll get you into the uh Palm Beach Sharky side. He says, I'll talk to the coach and yada yada. So next minute I'm playing with all these Australian players and these New Zealand players. So my team was filled with Australians and New Zealands. So we go to nationals, you know, this team, the way that they play was structure. That's not how we play in New Zealand. We play open. These guys have got structure and they're fast and they're fit and they just keep going and going and going and going. So anyway, we go to nationals next minute. We're winning by 10. And I'm like, how freaking good is this? We're smashing everybody. So then I tell myself, listen, I reckon I could, I reckon I could make the New Zealand side. So we go along that side. We I ring Pete Walters, say, mate, I don't want to pay for any New Zealand side if I'm gonna play for New Zealand. Because I went to my Australian coach, the Palm Beach coach, and I said to him, Should I play for Australia or should I play for New Zealand? And he said to me, I'm probably shooting myself in the foot for this. This is the Zach words, but there's nothing like having your shirt, your emblem, your national anthem at a World Cup. There's nothing like it in the world. And I'm like, you're right. So I rang Pete. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, I went on that journey and I end up making the team. And you know, my mind is strong, right? Just like I told you about the journeys that I've gone on. I got booted out of that team three times. Because who the hell am I? Like, where's this guy come from? These are all the probables. I'm sitting on the sideline with something, maybe a possible, but you need to tow the line, right? You can't go in there and think you're the man because you're not. They're the man, you do the groundwork, right? That's your job. So I had to learn that along the way. And as I'm learning that along the way, yep, you've made the team. Oh no, you're out. Yep, you've made the team. Oh no, you're out. But my genre, so what happens in the last trial? Peter rings me and goes, bro, I love your attitude. You've got you're freaking phenomenal. He goes, You've made my top 19, but I'm only taking 16 and you didn't make it. He said, Yep. Fair enough, bro. I said, but I'll tell you what, I'm coming to the World Cup. I'm gonna be physically ready, mentally ready, and financially ready. You just give me a call when you're ready. And he's like, that's what I love about you, bro. Two weeks out from uh from the World Cup, we're playing at the Nationals again. There's these whispers. One of the guys that, you know, and this guy's been with Pete for years, right? So you you can't politically, you can't take somebody else's position. Not gonna happen, bro, unless they either get injured or they can't do the job. Then you might get a shoe-in. And I'm talking about the middle. I'm not talking about sitting on the wing doing, don't get me wrong, wingers, everybody's position is freaking phenomenal. But I'm not sitting, I'm I'm in the middle. So these guys, um, he broke his hand in the last 10 minutes of the grand final in New Zealand. And so, guess who goes in? I said, I told you so, bro. And then I have the tournament of my life over there in 2019 in Kuala Lumpa. Best experience ever. And my coach in our grand final, you see it on TV. My wife taped it and they said shaking my hand. We end up losing to them by one point. But, you know, that was uh a moment of my life that I treasure forever. Because again, you know, you want to be the best in the world. You want to be with the best in the world, right? It doesn't matter what you do. It's not about being the best in the world, it's about hanging out with the eagles of whatever genre that you want to go for. And so same with hairdressing. I want to be taught by the best in the world because I want to be, you know, I don't want to be a number. I want to be trained by the best. And I'm not gonna just get trained by you. Me and you're gonna be mates forever now. That's it, it's done. Because I'm not just gonna go there and go, thanks, bro. See you later. I'm not that guy. Yeah. So, you know, these are the these are the connections that you make over a lifetime when you when you when you're aiming for greatness. And I'm not aiming for greatness to compete with anybody other than me.

SPEAKER_02 45:52

I love that. You're putting yourself in the position to be there, to get there. Even those knockbacks of not making the team two, three times, and you still say to him, I'm gonna be there, I'm gonna be ready financially, physically, I'm gonna be healthy. And then two weeks out, you get the phone call, you're in. And you've done that with everything in your life from your salon, manpower, touch footy. And I love that mindset about you that you've got that. It's not just being the number, it's like you're you want to be with the best of the best in there. Manpower was the best. So you've got to get in there to do that. Yeah, however you've done it, and I think that's what a lot of people miss, just being the average. They're just settled to be the average, but to be the best, you've got to put in the work and the effort to put yourself in a position. You move from New Zealand to the Gold Coast with hardly anything, with Sean, and you just go the nightclubs, and you start that to get into the manpower, yeah. And that gave you more opportunities. So once you do things, other doors open for bigger and better things, even. Yeah. So you got the opportunity to go down to Sydney and and work down there, run that, and now you're going into your business, further businesses with online. It's empowering and it's strong what you do and what you teach people because you've done it, you've got the mindset for it, and you can teach people that.

SPEAKER_05 47:25

We go back to the paradigm, the paradox, the blueprint. You what what what what you saw and and who you were doesn't define who you become because you have to become something in order to get what you don't have. You can't just will it towards you. You know, the fusa says, he who chases two rabbits gets none. I don't chase, I attract, I get all. And that's the key to it, right? If you're not on the right frequency, you're chasing. I'm here to receive, but I'm prepared. That's the difference. I action to prepare. I don't action to chase the goal. I action to prepare. So when I do the things, I'm ready. I'm ready. Like I'm not pretending I'm ready, I'm ready. Like I'm fit, I'm financially stable, I'm mentally strong, and I'm ready to take the opportunity. So when the, you know, he who is prepared will always walk through the door. And the path never reveals itself until you do walk through the door. And the funny thing is, is without knowing all of my labels that I have, it's crazy. They're taglines. One of them is don't just exist. And I didn't buy it for the tagline, I bought it because I like the hat. And then I got 10 of them. And you put it on and oh, don't just exist. How mad's that? And then all of my labels that I get, I'm like going, oh, I didn't even see that on there. I didn't even see that on there. But the universe has a uncanny way to put people in the positions that they were supposed to be in. And if you're awake to everything, you see everything. You'll see the numbers, you'll see the mantras, you'll see the taglines, everything that's around you, whatever it is, have a look at what is actually around you, and you'll figure out what's actually happening. Because if you've got a t-shirt that says, fuck the world, then that's pretty much what's going to happen to you. You know, if you've got taglines that are humility for humanity, empathy, conscious awareness, all of the things that you need to be in order to acquire the things that you desire. If you don't have them, you have to become the person that's able to hold on to them. And like we said today, you can either climb the mountain and get the calluses to hold on, or you can get a lift up to the top and fall and have no calluses to hold. It's you do you you could you could walk into a gym and see the hundred kilos on the bench press and go, I want to bench press that one day. So you have to become the person that's able to bench press that one day. You have to do the yards, you have to be prepared, you have to have the accountability, you have to have the adaptability, you have to be the person who's going to show up the reliability, then your body will then trust you. If your body and your mind trust you, then one day you'll live that. And then you'll go home and you'll do the meal preps and you'll do all the things behind the scenes. And it's all the things that people don't see. That is what we were talking about this morning, the pyramid. We only see the top of the pyramid or the mountain. What we see is just the payoff. What's happening underneath is the things that made that mountain so. And once you become that person to lift that 100 kilos, it's never your journey. Your your destination is not your destiny. Your journey is because that's what makes you become. And then when you get to that hundred kilos and you bench press it once, do you think you're gonna stop there? No, you're gonna aim for two times, then three times, then four times, then get to ten, then you'll go to 105, and you'll just keep on going and keep on growing with the failure. Because at some point you're gonna fail every single day. But if you're failing every single day on the same topic or the same subject or the same thing keeps on showing up in your world, you're on a roundabout. And it's up to you to realize consciously aware of the roundabout that you're on. And if you've got fuck you versus don't just exist, then you'll always be on that roundabout until you learn the lesson. Once you learn the lesson, you graduate from that roundabout and you move over to another roundabout. And it's just forever growth, forever evolving in a forever moving world. If you're stagnant or you're in still waters, if you're in still waters, you're in trouble. People say balance in life, right? Balance is in the middle. If you're in the middle, you're in trouble. You're not going anywhere. There's no growth. And anybody who wants to grow, if you're here, everything else is going to grow past you. So you have to forever evolve in a world that demands that from you. And if you're not growing, then you're just existing.

SPEAKER_02 51:51

You said about preparing to, you've always been prepared. What part is natural talent that you've been able to achieve your successes to the actual hard work that takes place into preparing yourself for it?

SPEAKER_05 52:06

I'm the worst, bro. I got no talent. I'm my talent is terrible compared to what I see, what's out there. And that's comparing. We shouldn't compare, but let's let's let it be what it is, right? This guy can throw a ball like 20,000 meters, and I could throw one maybe twice 10 meters. So I have to outwork him. I have to outwork him because talent alone won't cut it. You when you when you're outworking somebody, you won't outwork me in a place that I want to be. I will outwork whoever it is in order to get what I need to get because I know that I end up becoming the guy that will throw it 20,000 meters with hard work.

SPEAKER_02 52:42

For an example, with going into your dancing career, prior to going into that, was it something you you you wanted to do? And did you practice dancing? How did you go about to be able to do that?

SPEAKER_05 52:55

I was I was um, you know, I was okay on the dance floor. I was all right, you know, I was I I could put two together, but I wasn't no, you know, I wasn't no smooth criminal Michael Jackson or nothing like that, but I knew how to put a couple of moves together. You know, you um rhythm rhythmically I was okay, but I I always want of the understanding to understand more and how mathematically things work out. Because once you understand mathematically how things work out, you can put the steps together in order to do whatever you want. So when I said I wanted to be the best dancer to Plague Your International's um Danny Valentine, what I did was I stood back and I watched each man go on stage and then I watched the audience and I looked at what they liked and I looked at what they didn't like. And then I took their move and I turned it upside down and back to front. So when I went on stage after a while and nobody taught me, they're like, How did you just do that? I went, Well, that's your move backwards. So now it's my move. And it's the same thing in hairdressing, right? So you get, you know, you get four masters that teach you four different ways. You put them all together, and now you're the master. Or touch football. You see how people play and you go, man, that's mad. That's awesome, that's great, love that. And you practice and you practice and you practice until it becomes you're the master. And so, you know, consciously aware, understanding of each move mathematically, systematically, then you can put it together in order to path your way through wherever you want to go. And so, you know, when you put that together, if you call that natural talent, I've got truckloads. But, you know, to walk down the street and and just start doing something, yeah, no, I'm rubbish.

SPEAKER_02 54:43

Then you're just being humble there.

SPEAKER_01 54:46

Support that you had during your times, who did you have for that, or did you kind of just find it within yourself to keep striving and keep trying?

SPEAKER_05 54:57

You know, that's a really good question. Because when you're younger, you're taught to go it alone. Especially men, right? We're taught to go alone. As you go through that time and through those periods, yeah, bro, get out of your own ego, man. Like, you need a team. And the stronger the team, the better the result. But people don't want to let anybody in. They don't want to listen, they want to go down and do their own thing, which is cool, right? You go do you. But I could cut 10 to 20 years. So I told you I wanted to retire in 10 years, right? I could show someone how to do it in a year now. But you have to do the thing, right? You can't ask me the question, I give you the answer, and you don't do the thing, like we talked about again this morning. It's like I can give you the pathway, but it's up to you to do it. And like Adam says, he goes, you've got to find the people that want to do it. And I go, yeah. But you can also, and we use this word manipulation, right? But there's manipulation in a bad way, manipulation in a good way. You can manipulate the minds of somebody that is eager to learn what you've got, but doesn't understand. Because sometimes when you don't understand, it becomes too hard. And you've just got to go on the journey enough times and repeat it enough times in order to be able to go, oh, that's it. That's the one. So for me, I've got to write everything down and then look at it, write it down, look at it, action it, and then I'm good. So support, when we talk about support, um I will always have support, but it's people that I need to support me. So, like mentors, top hairdressers, top touch football players, the best in the world dancers. Because if I want to become the best in the world, I can't be too, I can't be taught by the seagulls if I want to fly like an eagle. I have to be taught by the eagle. So, you know, I surround myself. And I'm when I look at something, I always use an analogy of if I want to be an eagle, I'm not looking for a chip, I'm looking for a rabbit or a deer or something sustainable. That's what I'm looking for. Whereas most people are fighting over the chip, I'm not a seagull. But it's it's it's just an analogy of of what I mean. Like it's I don't, there's nothing wrong with a chip, and there's nothing wrong with a seagull, but it's not what I'm after. So your support system better be freaking spot on if that's where you want to go. If you've if you're the guy that um doesn't really care or or is comfortable where they are, and that's that's the way that you want to live, bro. Well, kudos to you. If that's your piece, beautiful, bro. Like, do that. But if you're the guy that wants, well, you're the person that wants something in life outside of what you already have, depending on the desire or the want, will be depending on the effort that you need to put in. And so the support team around that can either get you there in a short amount of time or you can fuck around and find out. And then, you know, life passes you by and you've strung your guitar 10,000 times without playing your song. And that's what most people do, they get caught up in stringing the guitar and it didn't get to play their song. The next minute we're talking about that in their uh eulogy, you know, and so they just existed. Um, and again, there's that if you're just existing and you're happy with that, cool, be you because you know, peace. What is it? What does it mean? Depending on who you're asking, is what that means. But peace for me, then I have to be willing to go to war in order to keep the peace. I don't want to, but I have to be willing. So I have to be prepared. Physically, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, I have to be prepared. Because my desire is bigger than just existing. So if I want to just exist, I can relax, chill out a bit, you know. Put on some weight if I want to. I don't go to the gym if I don't want to. But for me, improved behavior every day is my thing. So I must get up at four o'clock in the morning. That's a must. That's a not negotiable. I must do my journaling, I must do my intentions, I must do my task, I must share it to the groups that I have before I go out and do my calisthenics and then a 10K walk. Now, I don't want people to compare that and go, oh, I'm not doing that. I'm not enough. Bro, you're enough. You're you're you're enough as you are. Can we be better? Well, that's up to you. This is just my way, right? So, but but what might be hard to somebody else is my playground because that's what I do, that's who I am. And again, it's I have to be prepared for anything. I have to be prepared to go to war. If the war's on my doorstep, if there's a fire at my door, then I need to put it out. And in fact, I need to put it out before it's there. There's a fire at the north and a little spark over in the west and a couple of little dabbles over in the east and the south. If I let them connect up, I'm fucked. So I better put out the big one first and then put out the smoke bombs later. And so when I'm when I'm looking at that, I'm looking at um who's in my corner, who's on my bus, because the people on your bus are the most important. So if you're in business and you've got a shit ass accountant and a shit ass lawyer, then you're in trouble, depending on what sort of business you have. The better the business, the better the accountant, the better the lawyer, the better the mentors, because the driver is me. So I can't blame my businesses for failing on my staff. I can't do that. I failed the businesses. I failed. It's on me.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:07

And when you chosen these support people, part business partners or mentors, and you found out that they haven't been the person that you thought they were, how have you dealt with that?

SPEAKER_05 1:00:17

Attach yourself to nothing and connect yourself to everything. That's the key, right? It's an aquarium trait. Yeah. Attach yourself to nothing, but connect to everything. See it for what it is. Because, you know, if if I'm not up to the task of going to the World Cup with the king pins, then you're not in, right? And even though I was up to the task, you still I still didn't make it in until the dying minute. But I already knew I was in, right? But but I also knew I could deliver. So I look for that in people. I'll give them a chance. We we go along the road. If I see the cracks starting to appear, I give you a couple of warnings. If I see the cracks are still there, brother, you're not the you're not the guy. And that's okay. You're not the guy. We just have to get you off the bus and put somebody else on until I get it right. And again, you fail until you succeed. And so, you know, the people that are around you, they show you the mirror ball. You know, next minute it's a blowing glow. So you you you're like, oh, the mirror ball, the mirror ball. Oh no, that's a blowing glow. Next one, next. And you just keep on going until you find it. Also, don't forget, you outgrow people too. And they outgrow you. So as a mentor, I want nothing more than for the brothers to outgrow me. That's my job. You want nothing more than your kids to be better than you. That's your job as a parent. But you also want to give them so much that they don't want to ever leave you. And that's the key to a great leader in life. So all my staff that I've ever had, there would be a very minute that would have a problem with me. Now, those that do have a problem with me, I had to make the hard decision. I'm the driver. So when you have to make a hard decision based on finances, then you have to make that decision. And not everybody's going to agree with that. But you know, the time that I had with everybody for me is I need to leave you in a better position than I found you. And if I've done that, then I'm on. If I haven't done that, apologies. Because I take that to heart. And when you can understand that type of um thing that is inside you to want better, not want, I don't want better for you. I just want you to know that there is better for you if you want it. And I'll open up the door for you. But it's up to you to walk through. I can't do your push-ups for you because then I know I get the good chest, and you get stuck with what you got. And if there's something in yourself that you want to heal or fix, then that's your journey. I'll just show you the door to go through.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:39

Can you share with us a personal and the business challenge that's majorly impacted you from a learning perspective, whether it's a failure or a success, that's helped and shaped you to move forward and even if it's to change?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:54

Yeah, that's great, bro. Because you know, at the start, I hated change. And now all I want is change. You know, I can't, I can't not change things. Because if I'm not changing, I'm not growing. And if I'm not growing, then nothing changes. And so for me, um, the biggest shifts in life are looking at me and asking myself, why do you want to fuck up that bad for? Because you're only hurting the people around you when you do that. So you have to pull your shit together and you have to get yourself out of this. And you can no longer be this wanker, this ego-driven, maleistic, uh, alcoholic, drug addict, and think that it doesn't affect everybody else because your decisions that you're making. So when I um started Centurions in 2024, uh April, I was still running Wild Boys Afloat. I just got back to Wild Boys Afloat. It was January. I went back on the boat. There were things that I did that night that I was still not proud of. And I'm like, this all has to stop. It has to stop from this moment. And so that was it. Cut the drugs, cut the alcohol, cut the womanizing, and go, you know what? That's no longer how it's gonna be. If I'm gonna mentor these guys, this what I'm doing is not illegal. But if I'm gonna mentor these guys, then I better be the person that I said I'm gonna be. And from that day, that was it. And I went on that journey.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:10

So it's holding you accountable, yeah. And holding yourself accountable, yeah, absolutely. Because you're out there and you need to practice what you preach. Yeah, you've got to keep the contradict yourself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:21

You know, I can't sit there and go, I'm retired. You know, when and when I say the word retired, that doesn't mean I don't work, it just means I I I don't have to work if I don't want to. But I'll never not work. I love it. I love the hustle. I'm a hustler. So even Joe Elias, you know, the guys are multi, multi, multi, multi, multi-millionaire, Lamborghinis and you know, mansions and Putney and Sydney, like the guys made it. I go, bro, why do why do you why do you keep why do you keep doing this? He goes, bro, I'm a hustler. This is what I love. I'm like, that's mad. That's what I learned of him. If I learnt one thing off him, that's what I learned. Because once you're a hustler, you're a hustler.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:54

Well, it gives them purpose, yeah, too. Like what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do? There's no purpose.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:00

Yeah, you can't sit down on the couch all day. Like you do your head and you know, that's not what retirement. Retirement's about choices. Do you know what I mean? It's about time back for you. Freedom? Yeah, choices of everything, right? Clarity, focus, time. And once you have once you see this, then you see the path really clear. You go, what do I want? So if it's money, and we can just talk about money, right? What do I want? And how do I want it to show up on my world? And what have I learnt from what I've done in the past? Well, in the past, you didn't have a good relationship with money. So if you don't have a good relationship with money, how are you gonna how are you going to multiply it? You know how to make it, but you don't know how to manage it. And if you don't know how to manage it, how are you gonna multiply it? So it's called the three M's. You've got to make it, manage it, and multiply it. Once you understand that, I call it the trifecta. So we use the sea as the analogy, and the evaporation of the sea goes up into the sky and then it heads over to the mountains. And the participation happens. And then it comes through to the rivers and then connects back to the sea. And that's the cycle. You gotta know how to make it, you gotta know how to manage it, and you've got to know how to multiply it. And you know, because I'm a pitcher guy, I like to see things as a pitcher mathematically. You know, it it makes sense, and then you go, okay, so the sea is my wallet, then. Yeah, the sea is your wallet, and everything else will just come back to that. And then once you start to figure out that, you go find the people. There's a guy named Coach JV, right? And he's um macroeconomic expert. So he's in the banking sector, you know, Jesus-looking fella, and he's on social media heaps like, and so he's taught me a lot. Like he taught me a lot about that macro, why the war's happening, why crypto is coming, why it's good, what to invest in. Then there's a book that I uh read, and it's called The Secrets of a Millionaire Mind. And that operates on you've got your net wealth, you live off 30%, and you reinvest 70%. And you know, so I put all of these things together. And then you've got Warren Buffett, and he talks about investing, and then you've got Alex Mosey, and he talks about sales. So you've got these people that I put together in a box that I look at when I'm doing anything and I go, that's the puzzle, that's the picture. Then I simplify it and make it my own. And it's the same thing that what I've done all my life. Hang around the people who have got what you want, grab a bit of information off each, simplify it and make it your own. And so, you know, when you're talking about support systems and when you're talking about um growth or you're talking about that pivotable moment in your life, right? For me, it's all the fuck-ups that I did. And then karma comes to get you and gives you a kick in the nuts and goes, if you don't keep on, if you don't stop fucking up, I'm gonna kick you in the nuts every day. Well, I don't want to be kicked in the nuts no more because it hurts. So I'm gonna be a good boy. That's it, you know? And you just the whole time you think that you are being smart. You're not being smart, you're freaking egotistic, bro. You're dumb, right? You're just being dumb, bro, making dumb mistakes. Whereas you clean all this up and your whole world will change. Clean up your bullshit that you tell yourself, the narrative that you tell yourself, and you change the whole picture. The next minute the positive change happens. Positive change happens both internally and externally. Positive change doesn't come from external things, positive change comes from improved behavior, improved, improved. When you can do improved behavior and you foster focus, then positive change happens.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:39

And it's a cycle. Change it and everything will change. Your world will change.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:43

Bro, you you yeah, nothing changes if nothing changes, right? Everything changes if one thing changes. We're one step away from making the best decision in our life. One step. You know, a 20-year-old kid inside of Centurions rang me just yesterday. He goes, Man, I'm really overwhelmed. I said, Okay, bro, we built centurions for people like you, right? Because we were we were centurions when I was 20. I said, This is why we built it, and I'm gonna give you this information that you can take with you. You've got this real big ambition, but you're still crawling. Can't ask a baby to run when it can't crawl. So you have to learn how to get there. And you have to be patient and stop comparing your life to others. But here's a step that I can give you. You've got a situation you don't want to be in. We spoke about six months ago that you should be earning about $1,000 a week and you should try and save $500 of that and live off $500. Keep on saving this over to the side and then invest it into your side hustle that you've got going on. Right? That's the equation. Nice and simple, nice and easy. At the moment, you know, you're not making that. Give this guy a call and he'll make it happen for you. I said, and not just any guy that I'm telling you to call. This guy is our best inside of Centurions, right? He's our he's our A-class student. This guy, we ask him to do anything and he kills it, crushes it. You give him a call, he'll find a space for you inside of his business, he'll give you the money that you need, you'll be able to put it aside. But not just that, you're now hanging out with one of the best. You're one decision away. Give me a call when you've had it done. Within half an hour, he goes, it's done.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:15

And is it for men only?

SPEAKER_05 1:10:17

Centurions is for men only. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:19

Yeah. For those out there that are watching this or listening to this, and they want to get in touch with you and they so what is centurions about? Like what do you offer? Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 1:10:32

You know, again, man, great question. Centurions is about every man has a purpose in life, but most of us are so distracted that we don't understand what a purpose is anymore. You know, this world is so chaotic, so dysfunctional, so delusional. Same thing as we. We're dysfunctional, we're chaotic, we're delusional. Once we understand the symptoms of that, which is distraction, and we understand that, then we can start understanding what intentions are we giving towards the distraction. And we can say to ourselves, okay, why don't we lessen the distraction, increase intention on the things that are going to give us the most ROI, return on our investment, or VOI, value on our investment. Once we get that, then we can understand what we want in life. When we understand who we are, where we are, where we want to go, and what time we want to get there, then you can start understanding your purpose. The purpose for a man in life is for his family to trust him. The family can't trust him unless he's reliable. Once a man becomes reliable, he actually trusts himself. And when a man trusts himself and he's reliable, his family feels safe around him. And that's a man's purpose. A female's purpose, and I'm not being misogynistic or anything like that, but their purpose is to bring the spiritual into the physical. That's their purpose in life. Man can't do that. That's not our purpose. Our purpose is to provide, protect, and secure. And once we understand that on a caveman level, again, I do basics. I don't do, I don't do all sources and bits and pieces, right? I do meat, potatoes, no sauce. And when we understand that, we can then get rid of the chaos, get rid of the delusion, get rid of the distraction, and be more intentional. And when you understand that, you'll find your purpose real easy. If you ask the man these days, what's your purpose in life? Twitter birds, no idea. Centurions will give you that balance to find your purpose and will release distractions by, you know, we do three Zoom nights a week. And one I do, one Jeremiah does, and one Topps does. And these Zooms are only half an hour, but they're action-packed. Like they are like hectic. And it's your and it's your injection of testosterone three nights a week. And then we've got the school, the centurion's school. And inside the school, we have the brotherhood. And inside the brotherhood, we have the accountability inside of there. So we've developed a centurion's GPS task tracker where we ask you questions in five different genres. And they're really, really strong pillars. You need these strong pillars in life to be balanced as a man. Mentally, you need to be balanced. Physically, you need to be balanced. Relationally, the relationship you have with yourself and your spouse and others around you needs to be balanced. Business-wise. Whether it's career, whether you're employed, doesn't matter. It's still business. You are the business. That needs to be developed. And the last one is financially. You know, finances aren't going to solve all your problems. They just finite, they just solve the financial problem. You get those five things correct and nicely balanced towards each other on a GPS task tracker, piece of cake.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:43

So those men out there that are looking for purpose, finding it hard to figure out what their purpose is in life. And for those that are wanting change, how can they get hold of you?

SPEAKER_05 1:13:54

Yeah, if they go into my if they go into my Instagram and there's a a link in the bio, just tap on that link. Otherwise, you know, you can you can DM me in the in the in in Instagram and I can have a chat with you or send whatever you need to be sent. And again, you know, you have to be ready for this. Like Adam said, right? You said this morning, you got you you need to be talking to the people who are ready. Everyone's ready, but are you ready to financially invest in yourself and turn up for yourself? And I'm not talking about a lot of money, it's 50 bucks a week. But at the end of the day, if I gave it away for free, guess who's going to show up? Exactly how we were talking about people this morning, right? People don't take you serious. Like I want to give it away for free, but you won't take me serious enough. You need to invest in you. And once you invest in you, financially, physically, mentally, then everything else will come forward for you. Everything.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:44

That's awesome. If you're ever wanting change or wanting to find a better purpose in life, reach out to them. We'll get to our closing questions now. Mine. Mine is what's the meaning of life for you?

SPEAKER_05 1:14:58

Choices. We all have choices, whether you know it or not or don't know it. But choices to design your life instead of being designed by life. That's a big one. And you want to go deep on that because you'll get designed by life real quick. Again, chaos, delusion, dysfunction. Get designed by that real fast. So, yeah. Freedom to design your life the way that you want to design it so that no matter what, you can live however you want to live. I want to live by the water. Where do I live? By the water. I don't want to have to work. What do I do? I don't have to work. I want to, you know, build businesses with people, like-minded people who are beasts in the area. That's what I do. You know, I want to go dance with the best players in the world. Well, I'll go dance with the best players in the world. I want to go play touch footy in the World Cup. Well, I go play touch footy in a world cup. Just design it. You know, believe it and you and you'll see it come to fruition as long as you prepare.

SPEAKER_02 1:15:54

Love it. Thank you. Pleasure, Po.

SPEAKER_01 1:15:56

For men who are struggling and wanting to remove people from their lives, what do you think about that? Is that something that needs to be done?

SPEAKER_05 1:16:05

Yeah, definitely. Um, and a great question. Thank you for the question. Definitely, 100%. There is, you know, whether male or female, the most important decision that you'll ever gonna make in life is the person that you decide to be with for the rest of your life. Because that person is either going to elevate you, it's gonna tear you down. You better make sure there's three relationships within a relationship. There's a relationship that you have with yourself, and you better show up at a gold standard. Because how you expect anybody else to show up for you if you don't show up for you? If your boundaries are okay Wednesday, but down here on Tuesday, and you're throwing out mixed signals, then that's how people show up for you and you don't like it. The next relationship is the relationship that she has with herself. And the third relationship is the relationship you have with the relationship. And you've got to keep all of those strong. You have to understand my wife has a relationship with herself, and I want to make that strong. She has a purpose in life. She wanted to be uh a makeup artist, let's go be a makeup artist. She wanted to start her own business, let's start your own business. She wanted to be an international makeup artist, let's be an international makeup artist. And that's what she did. So her partner is here going, elevate, elevate, elevate, elevate. There are no blocks here. And she's achieved that within a short amount of time. She's achieved all of that. And then there's the relationship with the relationship, and that better be elevated as well. Because that's the one where people struggle. That's the one where people struggle the most.

SPEAKER_01 1:17:25

And also wanted to ask if your younger self was listening to this, what would you say to him?

SPEAKER_05 1:17:31

Yeah, you did good, kid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:36

Tihira, thank you so much for being your time to come on our podcast and have this awesome conversation. Much love, Aruha, to you, my boat, and your fane.

SPEAKER_05 1:17:48

Pleasure. Pleasure. It's been a been an honor. Been a like what a what a cat. What a morning. Yeah, it's been great. Thank you so much for having me on.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:54

Thanks for that. And we always go out with leaders. Oh shh.

SPEAKER_05 1:18:06

Awesome. That's it, bro.