Everything I Did (and Spent) to Feel Confident Speaking in Front of 100+ People

Last week, I REALLYYYY stretched myself by saying “yes” and speaking on stage at a local podcaster’s panel. 

I'm going to take you into my head for the entirety of it - the anticipation, the "day of" investments I made, what it felt like minutes before walking on stage, and how podcasting has shaped who I am as a person.

In This Episode:

• Live clips from my introduction on stage, along with some panel highlights
• The three “power words” I wrote in my journal before I got on stage
• The $60 and $13 investments that changed how I showed up 
• The unexpected part of committing to this experience that drained the most energy
• Did I get paid? And was it worth it?

Resources & Links:

This is the bronzer I used for a sunkissed glow on stage:

Too Faced Chocolate Soleil Melting Bronzing Stick

Let's Connect:

Follow me on Instagram: @alisonkinsey or send me an email: alison@alisonkinsey.com. 

Connect with Alison on LinkedIn.

I also help entrepreneurs and thought leaders launch and grow their podcasts through my boutique podcast editing agency, Podcasting for Creatives. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

And then I got called on stage. I just remember the lights were so bright. I just want to get this over with. I just want to check the box and say that I've done it. So was this all worth it? Oh my gosh. I can't believe I did it. I spoke on stage for the first time in six years. I am so excited. I can't even believe it. I'm still kind of coming down from the high of it. I'm processing all the things, but I can't wait to tell you more about what this was actually like. I spoke on a local podcaster's panel. There were 112 people in the audience. And I want to break it all down for you what it felt like to get up on that stage, what I wish I did differently, the worst part about accepting this speaking opportunity, and what I'm so glad I invested in beforehand. So think of this as the behind the scenes that you don't always hear about when somebody accepts a speaking gig, what the aftermath is like, what it's like in the moment. I'm going to give you all of it. I've come to realize there are different layers of visibility, and some feel a lot higher stakes than others. Like recording this podcast, I'm not recording it live. You're not seeing all the screw ups and the mistakes. You're not watching me on camera. But being live on a stage in front of people, that carries a very different type of weight. And I was definitely nervous about it. I'm going to paint the picture for you. So on the panel, there were a total of six podcasts, and mine was the newest show by far. A couple of the shows were focused on policy and spreading positive change in the state. So there was a really interesting dialogue from those shows. And then others were more wellness or creative and community focused. Now, when I accepted this speaking opportunity, and as the date was getting closer and closer, I was really trying to be intentional. And I wrote in my journal, maybe a few days before the event, three words that I wanted to feel when I was on stage. So my three words were one, I want to feel confident. Even if I am so nervous and shaking in my boots up there, I want to come across really confident. Not only just in my essence, but with what I'm saying. And then the second word I wrote down was articulate. I want to speak super clearly. I don't want to be stumbling and messing up and saying um a bunch of times. And then lastly, I wanted to feel charismatic. I want to feel engaging and charming and fun. Like I want to be a whole vibe up there, you know? So I had those words and I kind of would repeat those words to myself as we were getting closer and closer to the event. Now, the worst part of this speaking engagement and saying yes to doing this panel was easily the anticipation of it. My nerves were going absolutely crazy for weeks. And the stress of just feeling that anxiety actually did take up a lot of mental space. So part of me in my mind was like, I just want to get this over with. I just want to check the box and say that I've done it because it was just so much, just that anticipation. I can't even imagine what that would have felt like if I was doing a keynote or a TEDx talk or something like that. It probably would have been 10,000 times worse. So that was the part I really had to just mentally work through every day. But as it got closer, I would say what calmed my nerves by at least 50% was when we all formed a group chat together. So this event was hosted by Andy DeMeo of the Granite Goodness Podcast. And Andy was kind enough to put us all in this group chat. He called us the Pod Squad. All the panelists were on it. And it was just great because he communicated with us. He told us what to expect, some of the questions he was thinking about. So that really made me feel a lot more at ease, just having more information. And then before I knew it, it was the day of the event. I still did not have an outfit figured out. I'm sure I'm not alone in saying this. I literally want to donate 90% of my closet. At one point in time, I liked all of these items in there enough to buy them in the first place. But I just like so many of the things in my closet, the styles feel kind of dated. They don't fit perfectly, or it's something that I absolutely love, but I feel like I've worn it 20 times in public already. Everything was just not feeling like the right fit. And something that was important to me going into this speaking engagement was I want to feel like myself on stage. I want to feel like me. And I am someone who tends to dress in a way that has lots of color. Like I love patterns, I love loud, bold prints. I love fabrics that have like poofy sleeves or just like fun details. So I ended up going into a bunch of different stores, tried on a million things, nothing was feeling right until I randomly came across this full-length, kind of like off-white pleated skirt at Marshall's. It was on clearance for only$13. It was just such a flowy, fun skirt. And it worked perfectly. But the question was, what am I gonna wear with this skirt? I ended up finding a top in my drawer at home. Thankfully, I had something. It was a slightly cropped black top with these puffy sleeves. And I threw on some leopard print heels. Gotta have a little bit of, you know, a pop of something there. I texted my fellow panelists that morning. So I knew that I was gonna be in a panel with three other women. I kind of just shared the nerves that I was experiencing and feeling. And they told me that they were in the exact same boat. So that made me feel a lot less alone. And then one thing I did that was absolutely worth the money was getting my hair blow-dried and styled at the local salon. That was$50 plus a$10 tip. Well worth it. I can never get my hair to look as good as it does right out of the salon. Like, I'm not one of those people that has 20 different hairsprays. So that was well worth it. And then I also treated myself to some new makeup. And the best purchase that I made from that was easily this bronzer stick from Too Faced. It just blended so beautifully and gave my skin that sun-kissed glow, which was perfect for being on stage. And so I had my makeup, had my outfit, got everything together probably about 45 minutes before I had to leave. And then I showed up to the venue early, and it was really cool just walking in and being like, I'm a speaker tonight. And they kind of ushered me in. It was surreal walking in there and seeing just the empty venue with all the chairs laid out. I actually showed up at the same time as the bartender. The videographer was in the back, getting everything set up. I saved a few seats in the very first row because I knew I wanted Steve to be there, hyping me up, filming clips for me. And then I had a few friends that were coming as well. So I got all those seats reserved. And then I walked into the green room. This one wasn't fancy, but it had some couches and a mini fridge. It made me think of all the celebrity divas who would request very specific snacks to have in the green room. I feel like if this was that kind of occasion, I probably would have asked for some sort of fruity candy, like nerds gummies, or no, not the nerd's gummies, the nerds clusters, or maybe Swedish fish, a fancy bottled water like aquapana, and maybe a specific playlist that was already playing without me having to like connect my phone to Bluetooth, just to get me hyped, you know? There was an opening band that came on, this band called Sneaky Miles, and they played a song, and Andy got everyone to do a sing-along towards the end. It was hilarious, but honestly, such a smart stage tactic because it got everyone in the audience just totally pumped. Everyone was engaging, everyone's attention was there. So loved how we pulled that off. The first panel went off without a hitch. It went great. And then there was a five-minute intermission. And so during that moment, I got up, I stood off to the side of the stage, and my fellow panelists were there too. And I remember that I could not stand still. Like I was shaking my skirt around and pacing and just like kept looking over at my panelists, almost like we were communicating without saying anything. I think we were all kind of feeling just the anticipation, the nerves, that feeling of butterflies in my stomach. And then I got called on stage.

SPEAKER_00 10:59

Alison Kinsey is the host of Real Time Creator, a weekly podcast documenting her real-time reinvention after leaving a$220,000 tech sales career. That being an annual cop, I imagine. It's a lot of money. She's proof that the Squiggly Path is almost always the more interesting one. Alison lives in New Hampshire with her husband, Steve, who's here tonight, and he's a drummer, and her four dogs. Please welcome Alison to the stage, everybody.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Once I got on the stage, I just remember the lights were so bright. I was looking out into the crowd, and I could only see the first row super clearly, which, in hindsight, I'm kind of relieved that I could only see the first row. I could see Steve, my friends Kate and Ashley. The panel got underway, and I was actually called on to speak first. So I was just like thrown right into it from the get-go. And I want to take you into the moment with me. So here's just a few rapid fire highlights from the panel.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

So we have a whole confluence of like, you know, newer people, more experienced people. We've got the whole gamut. But how's it going?

SPEAKER_01 12:16

It has been the most incredible journey. It is not necessarily the easiest medium to break into. I knew that podcasts are difficult to get distribution for, it's hard to build an audience. I have a very small following, but I had it on my heart for so many years to just step into my power and put myself out there. I actually did do one episode with a guest, none other than my husband, Steve. A 20-minute episode was probably like five hours recording together. And my husband was like, I never want to record with you again. And before I knew it, the 40 minutes of the panel was over. It was just done in a flash. We got group photos taken. I hopped off the stage. I got to talk to people that had like a takeaway or resonated with something I said. And in the QA, which happened right before, we were asked how podcasting has shaped us as people. And what came to mind for me is that as a medium, I feel like podcasting really allows you to be seen. You're putting it all out there and you're telling stories and you're vulnerable. And now it's like here I am on a stage getting to reflect those experiences of my career break to an audience that largely does not know me and didn't know who I was prior to that panel. So it was just a really surreal, exciting moment and it absolutely stretched me. And when I think back, because everyone's always their own worst critic, it's just the nature of the beast. I do think I accomplished the words that I had put out there. I do feel like I was articulate and I came off very comfortable and poised up there. But of course, like looking back, I was thinking to myself, oh, I wish I said this, or I wish I tied back my talking points to the audience more. Like almost like I wish I spoke more directly to them. But those are just little things. And it's like, I'm happy to take those learnings into whatever I do next from here. And the other thing was being a part of this event made me feel even more connected to where I live. As far as speaking opportunities go, if you want to get into speaking, I feel like tapping into your local community is such a great place to start. I live in this really charming coastal gem of a region in New Hampshire, and it's called the Seacoast, and it's just filled with so many amazing community builders, creators, and innovators. Seriously, like I am always blown away with how many opportunities there are in a given week to gather and connect with people, just given how small our region is. I know we're not Boston, we're not Austin, we're not New York, we're not LA, but there is a lot here. And I want to share that because I know not all of you listening are from my area, but I do feel really lucky to be here and so glad that I chose the seacoast as my place to land when we moved back from San Diego. So was this all worth it? I would say absolutely. I'm just grateful to Andy who hosted the event for seeing me as someone who would add value. I also got paid, which I did not expect. And I would have done this for free because it's exposure, it's practice, it's an opportunity. But it's really cool to be able to say that I got paid for this. And I was such a granny that I did not make it out to the after party, but I did celebrate the next day. Steve and I had this delicious dinner at an upscale Italian restaurant. I had the best Casio Ipepe, some yummy homemade sourdough with ricotta and garlic. It was just so good. Lots of carbs. So that was the experience. I wanted you to feel like you came along with me for this experience and were inside of my head the whole time. I hope it gave you a little bit of that behind the scenes. And I'll also just share a quick take on speaking too. I feel as though opportunities to speak on stages aren't always situations where it just lands in your lap. I think oftentimes, like you see those big conferences. And yes, I'm sure in situations where there's a massive conference, those people that are organizing the event are absolutely pitching people. But I also think sometimes you have to pitch yourself. You have to make it known that you want to speak. Your website should have a speaker reel. You should have a speaking page on your website that's dedicated to what you talk about, just all of that. And I didn't do any of those things. I mean, I don't even have a website right now, other than our podcast editing website, but it's a really good reminder. Should I choose to speak on more stages in the future? And it's something where I think for now, I'm happy to kind of take a little breather. I'm not immediately going off and pitching myself right now, but something I am doing is putting myself out there to be on more podcasts as a guest. So that's a muscle that I am stretching right now. I'm actually gonna be confirming an appearance on a show after we get off this episode. So that is something I'm doing. I have no idea, you guys, what we'll be talking about next week, but as always, this is a real time conversation of what is happening in my career break every single week as it unfolds. So I'm excited to be back in your headphones next week. All right, bye.