From Cleft Palate To Community Builder: A Father’s Lifelong Service

A childhood of surgeries and speech drills could have written a story of limits. Instead, we explore how those early challenges forged a mindset built on service, humility, and relentless follow-through—and how that mindset scaled from a single hospital room to a community-wide impact. Sitting down with my dad, we trace the arc from parochial school discipline to the Golden Rule culture at UCrops, where picking up a stray receipt and walking a shopper to the right aisle were non-negotiable habits. Those same principles later powered one of the most satisfying chapters of his life: Golf Samaritans, a volunteer-led tournament that funneled hundreds of thousands of dollars directly to Children’s Hospital of Richmond for real equipment doctors requested.

We get into what resilience actually looks like—turning teasing into toughness, trading pity for purpose, and learning to give honest feedback with respect. You’ll hear practical leadership lessons: underpromise and overdeliver, make the hard call quickly and kindly, and build trust by communicating early and often. We also talk about pivoting careers without losing your compass. When he left retail for custom building, the playbook transferred seamlessly: weekly meetings with trades, clear scopes and timelines, material planning, and constant follow-up. It’s project management as a form of care.

Threaded through every story are the same anchors: family first, friendships that last decades, and foundations—both literal and figurative—that hold up under pressure. We touch on staying engaged in community through the Powhatan Moose Lodge and Christmas Mother program, why phone calls beat passive scrolling for real connection, and how a simple mantra—worry about yourself, not the comparison—can quiet the noise. If you’re looking for a grounded blueprint for purpose, this conversation offers it: grit, gratitude, and a willingness to turn what you love—yes, even golf—into good.

If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend, and leave a review with your biggest takeaway so we can keep growing this community of doers.

Transcript

Welcome And Why Dad

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Welcome to Unfolding with Kristen Krupp, where we talk about how life really unfolds. The chapters we expect, the ones that we don't, and what we do in between. To kick off my podcast of Unfolding with Kristen Krupp, I wanted to bring in a person who knows me incredibly well, and that is my dad. My dad has a very inspiring life. He was born with Clef Palate and Clef Love. He took that grit and turned it into a very successful life. He went on to form a nonprofit that raised three-quarters of a million dollars for Children's Miracle Network through the game of golf. We're going to sit down and find out what makes him tick and what a true life of service really means. So, what does grit, gratitude, and golf have in common? My dad. We are going to start off my podcast by interviewing someone who is deeply involved in my life and has been an incredible role model for me. I want you all to hear what grit means and overcoming physical challenges, how he raised a quarter of a million dollars through a nonprofit, through the game of golf, and really what it means to be a connector and a life of service. You can use either one. Alright. So we'll get we'll get started asking some questions. I thought it was a um a great way for me to kick off the podcast. I think it would be really helpful for people to know how, you know, what you're obviously one of the biggest influencers of my life. You're my dad. Um, and you have a very um inspiring story. So that's why I wanted to talk with you. I think it helps kind of stitch it all together for folks.

SPEAKER_00 2:04

Well, I'm very honored to be the first person on your podcast.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Awesome. Uh I'm honored that you would agree to it.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

Makes me feel good.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

Thank you. So, you know, I have a front row seat doing what I have done for 21 years, I've had a front row seat into people's lives, um, really into some of their, you know, most telling chapters, whether it's great things, tough things, um, I have had the ability to see it. And I think something that it has really taught me over my 21-year career is that everyone's life is always unfolding. And um we're always uh have an opportunity to uh to continue to strive for new things and to do different things. And so um you have a really, really fascinating story. So um let's let's let's get into it. Let's start let's start with it. So uh do you want to share with everyone a little bit about yourself first?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Well, obviously, I'm your father, 74 years old, made it this far. Uh very proud of that, along with your three siblings and uh mom. You know, I've been very, very lucky in a lot of ways, very blessed, but to have the type of life that I had. Uh you know, it it's all about family. You know, thinking about having this kind of a personal interview, um I think you would concur that it's family first, then your friendships, and then this foundations on what you build in life. And that's kind of what uh I hope I've followed and given some sometimes some role model of the of that along the way, but family, friends, and foundations, you know, it's what it's all about.

Born With Cleft Palate

SPEAKER_01 4:12

So I've obviously learned a lot from you, like witnessing you. Um I'm your daughter. Um in a lot of ways it's been you know big shoes to fill uh in the way that you have conducted your yourself. And um for a long time uh I was known as Danny's daughter. Uh, especially I took uh some similar footsteps as you did, especially we had some crossovers in our careers during my time working at UCrops when I was much younger. So um, and I hope that I've I've continued to you know take that family name and keep going with it. So can we start from the beginning? So tell us um a little bit about um you know when you were born. I know that you were um growing up as a kid, I never knew it was never any um sort of visual, I could never tell, but you were born with cleft palate and cleft lip in uh in the 50s, correct?

SPEAKER_02 5:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:18

Yes, and so what was what was a diagnosis like for a child born like that?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Well, if you want to give it from your historical fact, born October 2nd, 1951, Southside Hospital, Farmville, Virginia, not knowing that I was gonna require surgery. My dad, who you know he's granddad, was serving in Korea at the time. My mom was living with her mom and dad in Farmville. Grandpa Pierce was always a foreman on some pretty nice farms back in the day, but they were living in Farmville. So I obviously being an infant, I was immediately taken into Richmond, what was called then Cripple Children's, which is now today Children's Hospital on Brook Road. Born with the clef. And here again, you know, I didn't know any any anything different other than as my memories start coming around as a really small child, there were an awful lot of doctors and nurses running around. And I do have memories of being in that hospital, but I had the ability to roam around the the beds probably when I shouldn't have, because I wasn't one of the I was a lucky one that I wasn't unlucky with a disability as far as arm surgery, leg surgery, the things that they so wonderfully did for kids and still do to this day. So I have those memories. And then I have early memories of speech school being taught phonics over and over and over again. Um probably, as I look back on it, probably helped me be able to communicate with people. When you stop and think about how many times I had to say Roy Rogers Road, a red rider ranch car to pronounce the word R, those type of memories come back. And then I went to uh parochial school, Sacred Heart, where our family uh went to church seven years there. Many, many friendships still to this day came out of elementary school. And as you know, then I went on to uh one year at Elkhart and then graduated Manchester High School in '69, where once again many, many friendships to this day. Uh throw in working part-time at UCrops when I was started at 15 and a half, 16, whenever we could get a work permit. Thirty-six years later, hundreds of friends, as you know. Um, but all along, the hospital experience, just watching people help people, uh, you know, didn't go into parochial school, uh, my parents were always involved with any kind of activities. Um, you know, where I also learned very early in discipline. Not only from the nuns and the priests, but they're very strict is the wrong word. It was just it was a disciplined atmosphere. And I remember the difference from leaving there in the seventh grade to going through public school. First day at Elkart, I tell this story to several of my friends. Walk in the home room that morning, and kids are talking in class and moving around. I'm going, uh-oh, somebody's gonna get in trouble. We didn't do that. So, you know, just a little ad-lib there, but like I said, very fortunate to have a strong family background on both sides of my family. My grandparents in Scottsville, my grandparents in Texas, my brother and sister, um three years younger, being twins, fond memories of going to Texas together, my dad's station wagons, several station wagons, and um kind of dragged all along as we were coming through on some of our trips. But sort of a short synopsis of where I started and so where I came through.

Speech School And School Transitions

SPEAKER_01 9:36

When um for for the time that that you were born uh having all of those surgeries, were were you left alone in the hospital for or was Grandma and Granddaddy with you? Like what was what was medicine like back then?

SPEAKER_00 9:55

Well, here again, the the memory probably don't kick in until I was about three or four. I have a mom was probably there every day. Dad had had was given an honorable discharge in career because of my need for surgery, and immediately came home. I probably three to six months old in the hospital. Um but going back for the surgeries, they they weren't with me the whole time.

SPEAKER_01 10:24

So you were never you were never left there for extended periods of time.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

I was I was there in the early infancy days by myself, I'm sure.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

Yeah. And then but for the continuous surgeries, they were pretty much outpatient. Um in an occasional, maybe an overnight stay, but that's that's when I was four years old, five years old. That's when I have memories of running up and down the halls with my little cowboy outfit on. And uh probably being like little Kyle right now watching him run around the house, my grandson. But uh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:59

How many surgeries, and uh you know, you think your parent you think you know your parents until you have to sit down and really think it through. How many surgeries do you think you've had?

SPEAKER_00 11:08

Well, the initial by Dr. Uh Leroy Smith, which I'm very fortunate he was well known in the community, emeritus, um that that probably happened the first week to repair the the um the cliff. And then as the palate developed, there were several surgeries after that, all the way through probably early childhood, they were waiting for my my palate to develop and my teeth to come in right or wrong. So I had those type of surgeries right up until I was eight or nine years old. And you know, so e even then I I I listened to um you know, some of you some of my kids and some of my friends worried about going to the dentist. I have no fear. I mean, I think it's because of the way I was treated, I was taken care of. And I do have I do have a memory though, and it's hard to describe a memory. I've told several friends of the smell of ether. Ether back then was the way they put you to sleep. So if you knew, if you got near an elevator or whatever you knew somebody was getting ready to go under. And um but you know, now they've got come so far with all the anesthetics and everything, you know never know you're going to sleep. But wonderful care, wonderful people, and um I didn't know any different. You know, I started started grade school and went on from there.

Bullying, Toughness, And Support

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Uh did you, you know, you people wouldn't know it now because obviously you have a mustache and you know your alder scars fade. Um did you face kids uh making fun of you, bullying you? Well I mean it's a hot topic now we talk about, obviously.

SPEAKER_00 13:00

Well, today y'all call it bullion, and I laugh at that because I was probably teased sometimes unmercifully in the early days. I had nicknames called lip, had nicknames, you know, whatever. And then of course, thanks to mom, I come along with not only a little bit of a facial and nasal tone, but I got freckles. So, but I look back on bullying, and I think, and I've told this, I've told this hopefully to y'all and some other people, all that did was make me tougher. It just it just put a snake skin on me. The more you tease me, the more the more I'm gonna move forward. And that's just that's me.

SPEAKER_01 13:39

And did you did you get coaching from grandma and granddaddy about that? Was that was that more or less their attitude, or is that just something that is innate that you haven't?

SPEAKER_00 13:52

Yeah, they they uh they instilled in all of us uh to be proud of you proud of yourself. Um you know if you have a problem, come to them. They um I mean they and they they were there on everything that we ever did. Now Dad working shift work and probably working three drives growing up. I sometimes I think David and W would tell you the same thing. We didn't see Dad a whole lot. Shift work at DuPont. When he wasn't working there shift, he was me cutting down the colonial store because that's what he did in the military. He was a master sergeant running kitchens in in both Europe and in Korea. And then he was Mr. Doo-Doo in the neighborhood. Anybody that needed anything done, as you know, granddaddy, who did they call? My dad.

SPEAKER_01 14:44

Where'd he get that nickname from?

SPEAKER_00 14:46

Yep, doo-doo, a good friend of mine, Ray Work, because he would do anything for anybody. Same way that gave mu my mom the bear, nicknamed her the bear. The claws would come out when somebody misbehaved. That's my buddy Ray.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

But um Was Granddaddy named Doo Doo because he could do this or do that, or is it because he would have to do it? Or would he tell you how to do it?

SPEAKER_00 15:11

No, he was willing to to do anything for anybody. I mean I can remember, you know, those are the days of daddy's white socks and his white t-shirt, and somebody needed the car worked on, somebody needed a fence repaired, somebody needed something. Daddy grew up working in Texas with his hands and one of eight siblings, four brothers. Um so in the early days, everybody said, Well, how'd you get into building? Daddy uh was always working on something, whether to building a doghouse, fixing something in the house. So I had a a square and a and a ruler in my hand and a hammer five, six years old. And learned a lot from him and uh the importance of helping people.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 15:57

Yep. So that's part of that inner core that I hope you've experienced. I know you have, definitely reaching out to help. Plus, Dad not only working those jobs, was a uh a volunteer fireman. And uh because of that I joined the volunteer fire as a junior when I was sixteen years old. Uh once again giving back to the community, doing all the things that we did around the community center, helping people out. Um just that continuous, I guess, beating of the drums of helping people and just being a part of the community came through my dad.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

And uh And y'all grew up off of Hay Road. Correct?

SPEAKER_00 16:47

It was called Haywood.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Haywood, sorry, Haywood.

SPEAKER_00 16:50

My bachelor days were Hay Road. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 16:52

I'm getting them mixed up. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

Haywood is right not too far from there. Yes. Yep, behind the old Manchester Power Department and Community Center. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

So this whole theme, I think, you know, has always been do you think it was intentional uh with Grandma and Granddaddy, or do you think it was just more of, you know, this whole theme of always you know, always helping others. Um do you I mean, do you think it was intentional?

SPEAKER_00 17:21

I think it was intentional. I think it was just inbred in them. If you look back now with calling us grandparents, w when we would go to visit mom's parents outside of Scottsville. Uh her being one of eight, my dad being one of eight in Texas, the aunts, their uncles, I mean, when we visited, people would come out of their houses to visit us, so we would go visit them. But there was always there was always cakes and pies and gifts and taking care of cousins. And you you know the importance of cousins?

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

I mean, if somebody found out we were going to go visit, one or two of the aunts or uncles would always be there, or we'd go visit, in the case in Scottsville, but when we went to Texas, that was a two-week vacation that dad took every two years to be able to take those two weeks off consecutively. And we visited every aunt and uncle, and then we would always have basically a family reunion at the church there at East Menard or at the farmhouse there in Texas. And I don't say everybody came, but a lot of people. I've got a lot of cousins in Texas, as you know.

SPEAKER_01 18:30

And how many cousins do you have?

SPEAKER_00 18:33

On a count.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

I know we've done this before.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

Yeah, uh that was a lot.

SPEAKER_01 18:40

So many.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

That's 30 or 40 in Texas, and probably, I don't know, 16 or 20, say in Virginia. Up up with not everybody's still still with us. Of course. Getting to the age where we're losing some of them. Yep.

SPEAKER_01 18:53

Life's chapters, yes. So we've uh now we've we've talked about uh volunteer fire department, which I forgot about. So uh the church obviously played a very large role in your life. Um Grandma and Granddaddy were uh I would say devout Catholic. You think that's right? Yep. Is that spot on? So I remember some stories, I don't know how much of it is true. Um you were is it correct to say you were thinking of going into the priesthood at some point?

SPEAKER_00 19:33

Well, you grew up in the Catholic Church. Um here again, not being self serving. I was an altar I was an alterboy, I was in the choir. So every you know, if people really understand Catholicism, you know, there's they follow seasonal uh you know, biblical holidays. So we serve certain we I served high masses, I served regular masses. Unfortunately I probably served too many funerals more than weddings and things like that. But to be an altar boy and then coming through school, uh being a Cub Scout out of that out of that church. This mom was a a then mother. Um being a safety patrol, Captain of the Safety Patrols there was a lot of little teeny steps. But air air school probably Sacred Heart probably only had three hundred some children for seven grades. They had just gotten rid of the eighth grade before I started in 1956. I started when I was five uh immediately turned six in October but it wasn't it wasn't a big parish. A lot of people associate Sacred Heart with Sacred Heart Cathedral which is downtown. We were Sacred Heart Southside on Perry Street right off of Bainbridge. Um but the families to this day um are very very close to each other. I just went to a funeral the other day and there was Study Have who I went to the first grade with who worked at UCrops also and um I just went to a funeral unfortunately for one of my best friends Carl Semenov in the Semino family. But those I guess the the closeness of the families uh from parochial school and the foundation of that everybody I mean we had bazaars and bingo knights and fundraisers and they were always helping families at that the church as I later learned that didn't weren't as weren't as uh well off as we were and we would have bazaars and fundraisers just to give money to those who were not as fortunate. So I I experienced that also.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

So is that what made you kind of think about or consider going into being a priest? Yeah.

UCrops Values And Leadership Lessons

SPEAKER_00 21:59

No, for two summers I went to St. John Viennes um we would call it summer school but it's altar boys and you know um and later in life uh as you know one of my cousins Father Ben married your mom and I Sherry and I and his his brother Dennis was all but a priest until his 12th year in the Vatican so you know you're you're 10 eleven years old you're an altar boy you're going to St. John Vienny what happened what happened real fast with that is girls and cars. And I went nope not doing that I'm changing directions I was going to be a cowboy then going to be a priest now I think I'm gonna go in another direction.

SPEAKER_01 22:48

So um yeah talk about a a a 180 uh from priest to then getting married and having four kids um but I think it's not lost on me uh your journey especially uh spending time in Texas and getting to meet so many uh of your cousins um that you do have quite a few cousins who have been uh in serve higher in the in the Catholic Church and so that Catholic Oh yeah strong yeah is very is very very strong.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

The brand the brand family's heritage is Czechoslovakian and then sometime in the late 1800s they came across. And back in those days usually a priest for the Catholic side of the family would bring a sect of people over say eight to ten families and they would just through the Homestead Act they would find some property in this case it was a little town in Texas called East Menard yeah and the original Knights of Columbus is I've seen the pictures of it where my great great grandfather uh was one of the original members there so it was his name was Joseph Barand. I'll now your brother's named after him in my bad yeah and um and then of course he sold the well held the property for two of his older sons which one of them was my grandfather Frank Baran so he took over a parcel. But there was a huge Catholic family and it in that area still is and um not that there's not other religions in East Menor Texas but I would say at least for me growing up it's probably 70 80% Slovak, Duseks, Schmeister's Batterans as they called us down there instead of Baran they pronounced it Vateran a very strong influence of Catholic fam and farmers. Raised cattle, cotton, maize, rice I grew up watching seeing all that on both sides of the panel um farming backgrounds and you hear the stories and actually I have a a book that I treasure from dead at the the history of East Bernard and I also have mom's book The History of Scottsville. You feel back the time periods that they both came through in the depression and the hard times in between those lines and chapters is the family sticking together and somebody needed needed something feed for their cattle. Somebody needed some bread baked they the family's just pitched in and you know growing up your grandparents if y'all needed anything sure yep what what did mom always bring to the house?

SPEAKER_01 25:37

Food food coolers of food and advice right solicited or unsolicited yeah correct correct so you uh uh obviously you uh went to uh parochial schools then you transferred to Manchester high school your uh you went to a public high school which had to have been a huge transition and then you went to ODU and um somehow in there um a 30 some plus year career at UCrops got started um started in high school started in high i I share that with you uh might have been taken to eucrops on my 16th birthday and had an application I filled out as well um so I when when I talk about being known as Danny's daughter it is the eucropian uh culture that that's where I'm known as um Danny's daughter what was it about eucrops that made um made you stay for so long well any interview today I could fill this room up and you could too with my Eucropian friends was the values tied in.

SPEAKER_00 27:01

I've thought about that that several times you think of the way my parents raised us uh with strong values uh always a can do attitude positive um treat people like you personally like to be treated which is the mantra of UCrops. Absolutely but so many other great companies but they practice it the golden rule and we were t we were not only taught that we were around it every day and if you forgot that you didn't last long. You were in the you were in the wrong wrong business and you work retail. Yes and I I worked in some form or fashion for 36 years but the customer's always right and even though sometimes we knew as a person that we might we might be taking advantage of or there was something that what didn't quite smell right the customer's still always right to a point and we treated everybody including including not only the customers but our fellow associates and our vendors and that just it just fit my mould. I mean I was brought up to do things right not perfect. No I messed up I was corrected and you try not to make the same mistake at your crops it was the same thing. Was I or all my associates perfect? Nope but as long as we were practicing the right principles you mess up you were taught the right way to do it you learn from it and you moved on. And if you were going to go anywhere in that company uh if you didn't believe in the golden rule and you didn't believe in treating people as a person like to be treated here again you were in the wrong place. But that just reinforced for me and my friends which I'm blessed to have a lot of them um hey it's pretty simple you know uh somebody needs something somebody has a question uh take time take time to answer the question take time to uh it sounds silly um I look back on even as I I'm working under two great role models Jim and Bobby Ucrop if I was walking with them into a store and there was a piece of trash in that parking lot they would beat me to it to pick it up before I would get to it. That might sound silly I'm talking about a piece of receipt paper pulling across we were just taught those things. If somebody was to stop and say hey we're so and so whatever we stopped what we were doing answered the customer's question gave them directions um take the customer to the product don't give them directions take them to it if you were caught pointing to an item you might not do that too many times but you know here again that's it's it's it's common decency but but sometimes those small things get taken for granted as you know and um I know in your busy life and I experienced it riding over here with you today if the phone goes off it's either someone in needing you know your help or your answer and you can surmise real quick if you need to get back to them right away but at least you recognize there's a question and you get back with them.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

And um you know I think as a as a business owner myself uh the I I've worked at UCrops um my uh when I from the time I was 16 until I graduated from college and then went into the went into what I'm doing now and all of those values are things that I have carried into my business and I'm very grateful for my time there. But I I actually was exposed to it my entire life obviously there's a really great book out um it's called Unreasonable Hospitality and it is written by a gentleman who went on to take his restaurant to uh you know one of the best restaurants in the world and the book is echoes so much of what um I experienced as a child and that rushing to pick up trash um the common things are not so common anymore it feels like and um but it really is what separates it for people and it's an experience I remember shopping in Eucrops was an experience that people thoroughly enjoyed and it's uh I'm I'm thankful that we still have uh homestyle foods and that we still have eucrops food hall uh I probably get asked once or twice a month first of all what I why eucrops sell but the second thing is you know um about eucrops homestyle foods and you know the the continuation of just those recipes yeah but it's also about the the successless business model that they had.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Yes you create a good product people will find you they will come they will come find you.

SPEAKER_01 32:25

Yeah I think they were the um they they defined having a cult following raving fan service they had it for sure well you know and they still do we talk about the golden rule but superior customer service was just ingrained in us you know and I remember James saying and you know many successful people you can have you can have a bad day you can make a mistake for all the good things you do that one mistake will get told or one sure hundred times bad news travels fast.

Giving Feedback And Golden Rule Service

SPEAKER_00 33:01

So you try to in life you try to eliminate that. But you're gonna have some tough days and one of the things you know um here again thinking about the conversation that you learn from uh I learned from them it's not hard to get it's not easy to get bad news.

SPEAKER_01 33:18

No.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

But it is it is a very personal thing to to be able to give constructive criticism and bad news in a way that you treat somebody like your fellow associate. Um but you have to you have to learn that in life. And thankfully probably with all the different positions I held I didn't have to do that very often. But I've been around people who aren't able to give it to you straight.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:48

They they kind of dance around the issue um and they they run in I I've watched especially not young people but people starting out in business you know always wanting to overpromise gets us in trouble. Nope underpromise and over deliver do the exact opposite and we were taught that over and over again. I can still see James saying it but um it's it's it you think it's hard to do but once you get through that dialogue with somebody or you have a a conversation just like we're talking today you know either help them or you guide them to a better path one way or the other.

Golf Samaritans: Idea To Impact

SPEAKER_01 34:35

Yeah you give them it's a been a hard lesson for for me to learn as a business owner. I um you know I think about you know you were I know you were in charge of um security at some point at UCrops and um also I think were uh had the heavy burden of doing hiring and firing um in your career and um it is as a as a people pleaser something that I'm a recovering people pleaser myself uh yeah you don't do anyone any favors by not giving them the truth and it's is but you know bad news doesn't get better with time it just gets worse so you've got to get in and and and solve it for sure. So you know I think it's really interesting to think about the fact that um so while you are at your time at UCrops one of my you know a really big topic that we haven't talked about but it really I think has had probably one of the biggest impacts on me is um you and some very close friends of yours uh formed a nonprofit called Golf Samaritans um in 1990 uh so I was 10 years old then which is ironically the exact same age as Anders my son and tell us a little bit about Golf Samaritans and uh this was an and how much money was raised and who raised it.

SPEAKER_00 36:13

Well now sell family self-servants probably one of one of my most satisfying and proudest moments of being associated with giving back to the community and then the quick story was four of us were playing golf in Williamsburg and at Kingsmill after participating in a uh somewhat big big shot tournament here in Richmond. I won't mention their name because anyway and we had noticed at the at their particular uh giveaway dinner or whatever that only half of the money that we thought we knew was raised was given to the particular charity okay and come to find out they had a paid staff of a bunch of relatives and friends which was fine nothing wrong with that sure that was their business that is that way but our idea very quickly was it was Jerry Lacks Dennis Fines and Arnold Gunn four of us playing golf four buddies on a Wednesday I didn't know Arnold was one of them I said you know we we talked about that and I said what if we do something different and they said what are you talking about I said what if we pull in the nonprofit and we give all the money after we pay expenses to a charity and immediately what charity this that and the other well I was very selfish I said Sherman's hospital would be my charity. Jerry spoke up also very selfish with his son Ty being helped from birth Sherman's Hospital Dennis was all over it honor was all over it so it didn't happen immediately going back putting it on paper in that 1990 we started up with four people with an idea by the time I left in 2006 we had over 200 volunteer members raised over$650$700 that went straight to the hospital we would meet before the tournament with the doctors in this case Dr. Taylor quite often or Dr. Sharp and they would always say you pick you pick what you need us I said no you know what you need show us your your budget for next year and associate the money and within hours if not minutes they would pick a new hospital type surgical table or something that they needed and respond back to us but the part of the giving and yes we had to pay to we had to pay for the food we had to pay for the course itself we had to pay for several things but we backed all that out but our first year in 1990 we our first tournament was at Mill Quarter we raised$13,100 I think and we immediately saw that we could do what we call a double shotgun run a AM tournament and a PM tournament and when when I left in good faith we were doing almost over$50,000 clear in one tournament in the 90s is all the goodie bags we stuffed drove mom crazy. All of a sudden we got a hundred people come to our house with a a half bath downstairs and two baths upstairs and these are these are friends these are salesmen these are vendors executives of companies in all sorts of forms we had people and and of course our magic wand and magnet was we worked for UCrops but we didn't take advantage of that we had a lot of outsiders that were brought in through their spouses other companies that helped us out as you well know but I was so proud of the fact that as it grew we had people calling me up the day after the tournament put me down for next year. And they were flying in their bosses and everybody MVPs from California, coming in from all over the country, just to play in our Golf Samaritan tournament. And um I still to this day get a few people to ask me about, uh I think yourself included us, maybe trying to get that back together. As you know, we've met with Brian several times.

SPEAKER_01 40:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 40:20

I still have a uh a spot somewhere deep down inside me because I love golf. So it's it's a little bit selfish. But watching people work I mean, we had you know, hundreds of volunteers. I mean, people who didn't even play golf, you know, come out, my sister I mean, you know just come in for that tournament to be volunteers. And um we fed 'em we fed 'em well. They got great big goodie bags, as you well know. And um at the end of the day, our mission was to give back to the community. And uh in this case, Trillian's actually it was Chairman's Miracle Network.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

Right, Richmond.

SPEAKER_00 41:04

Was the umbrella company, but I insisted, we insisted, that sounded uh me. We insisted that the money stay here in Richmond.

SPEAKER_01 41:12

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 41:12

And if they were to take it out in any way, we were gonna not give them something, but we were gonna move on to another charity. Never had to worry about that. Money stayed right here in Richmond at Children's Hospital.

Community Ripple Effects And Partners

SPEAKER_01 41:25

I it's uh I think it's a wonderful example for um there's always so much going on in the world, right? And there's there's always need in our community, but um I think you know, something that that I've definitely been modeled in my life is, you know, so what? What are you gonna do about it, right? What are you gonna what are you gonna do, you know, to to help move that needle? And I think it's a really great example for folks who are thinking, you know, well, what can I do? I mean, you did a y'all did a great thing. You combined the passion for golf and the passion for helping people, and you raise money through the game of golf. And if you stop and think of it, you know, three-quarters of a million dollars in the 90s was a lot of money, and when you think about what that would mean today, and also one of our benefactors was first tea, which was an accent for them here.

unknown 42:20

Right.

SPEAKER_00 42:20

We ran two, if not three, tournaments for first tea. And um I was asked very, very kindly by Bobby Ucrop to help them set up their first kitchen at Chester in Chesterfield. And of course, meaning Joe went through that program, very proud of that. But that was another wonderful organization to help people get in golf. And and people might know golf Samaritans, it's good Samaritans. All we did was take a play on words. We want to be a good Samaritan, giving back, and we just said, why not golf Samaritan? And the rest is history. And uh, we had our own logo made up. I mean, we had we had uh TV commercial work done by Mary Catlett to get our uh nonprofit. I mean, we had I looked back at help who helped us with Mark and Carol Beth. Um even Scott Ucrop and his contacts with the Mark and we had so much internal support once people knew that we were not being serious, but that we were dedicated to a good cause. And I'm sure that um a lot of people who we reported to, let's put it that way, got a lot of phone calls th thanking thanking us, you know, through our crop connections for giving back to the community.

SPEAKER_01 43:41

Yeah, it has a ripple effect.

SPEAKER_00 43:43

It's a ripple effect, there's no doubt about it.

SPEAKER_01 43:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

And we enjoy it.

SPEAKER_01 43:48

So um well that's actually how I obviously met Ryan Corrigan, who was the director um of Children's Miracle Network, who has become a I worked, I interned there. Uh it's been a was a really amazing connection, and you and I are both still very good friends with Ryan Corgan.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Um who has gone on to lead uh uh other nonprofits and has done a lot of amazing work in our Richmond community for sure. Uh most recently with uh adults learning to read the literacy challenge that we have here in Richmond. Um so after UCrops, you went on to then uh do something near and dear to my own heart. You opened your own um building company, and uh I think it's just another example of the unfolding of people's lives. And um obviously you got a lot of knowledge from your dad, and um you worked commercial, you did a lot of um your ladder that was a lot of factors in there, right?

SPEAKER_00 44:53

But the uh one of the things in high school was you know may or may not know, um I took the first year of freshman that's mechanical drawing, but I was always fascinated with building. So I took three years of architectural drawing. And this is before the computers came out. So this is when you had to hand draw with T-squares and tables and indigo ink. Um as some of my friends, Carlisle will know. Uh we went through it together. But I just I have a lot of vices, but one of the things that the good Lord gave me, I'm able to see things in 3D. So the building process, I need you to draw this room with a 12-foot ceiling with these movie lights, whatever. I see it.

SPEAKER_01 45:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:37

And then what does it take? I gotta have a foundation, I gotta have walls, I've gotta have things that support it. So uh Yeah, that I just had a passion, and then you said, What do you want to be? Uh, a priest and girls and cars. I uh actually I always wanted to be an architect.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

Yeah.

From Retail To Building Homes

SPEAKER_00 45:57

I know you might ask me that last, but once again, girls and cars got in my way, and math grades. I smooth through geometry and trigonometry and algebra and calculus one, but then you get to a level where it's you need a computer to get you through that. But anyway, so architecture itself, and I was fascinated with Sullivan the architect and Frank Lloyd Wright. Uh loved, read many books on him and verticality, and so as I moved on from UCrops, I first got my real estate license.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

I know uh yeah, I was waiting for that to come up.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

Yep. I had that, and then my brother, David, uh probably a little bit new ahead in the agenda. Well, you got your real estate license, why don't you go ahead and and get your class? You want to be a builder, get your class A license. I thought, okay. And I was I was searching internally, and he said, Hey, I got a project for you. If you pass your test, which not an easy test to pass, but four stages as you know.

SPEAKER_01 47:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:06

Got that and he asked me to set a plans that became the lake house, my first project. Not your average project.

SPEAKER_01 47:12

No, not your average project.

SPEAKER_00 47:14

And then like I said, and and I never had the goal, and you know this. I didn't want to be a box builder. Nothing wrong with that. I didn't want to, I didn't want to be a, you know, I'm not gonna mention any companies.

SPEAKER_01 47:27

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 47:28

If I got a if I got a project or a job, I would help the homeowner, and I had a passion for craftsman type building, that type of architecture. And um, I hate to use the word custom, but it it, you know, it is.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

Yeah, it's what the client wants.

SPEAKER_00 47:47

And so, you know, and then I was very fortunate to have your brother, Ben, join me. Um, we had a big company. We had one president, one vice president, two cell phones, two pickup trucks, and two two strong wheel brains. And so we've we formed Barand Builders in 2007, officially. And um, you know, very blessed to have great subs that I still use to this day, even though I'm supposed to be retired. We're still I'm still doing remodels and helping once again, helping people.

SPEAKER_01 48:22

Yeah, helping people. There's something that um you did in your building company that I think is uh for any business owners or or folks that may be listening to this, um seems obvious, but really isn't, and that is uh the way that you gathered all of your subs before you began a project and you had them all in the same room and you let them know this is the goal. And uh I would imagine that comes from your project management days at UCrops building commercial stores. Well, working in the construction, yes, getting everyone on the same edge.

SPEAKER_00 49:00

Oh, yeah. You know, that's that's another um the lesson that you learn in life. And I listen, I absorb so much. Uh when I took over Bill Mecca's job to become director of purchasing, I told this analogy. It was like, all right, you've run retail all your life, you've run a grocery store, you've been a district manager, over 1,800 people. That's retail. Now we want you to buy the equipment for a brick and mortar building. Well, Bill Meck, bless his heart, stayed on for two years as my mentor, but I my analogy is taking over that job and hundreds and hundreds of vendors and things that go into putting any retail store together. Felt like I was on an ice rink with roller skates, not ice skates. I was stumbling here and there. But thanks for building. He hung on and taught me so much. And what you learned was you found out real quick and easy who was gonna be uh a dependable subcontractor or manufacturer, uh their honesty, their uh their ability to give you a a good price, a good quote in the follow-up, uh, and then taking that into all that buying experience and working with the contracts and all the bids, uh into my air personal business, is the more the more informed somebody is, just like you're starting a project, uh, and you might not have had everybody in the room at the same page, but by the time that project starts, I was having weekly meetings to this day on a remodel. I'll I'll go home this evening and call I know of two subs just to catch them up on what we're getting ready to start. But people need to know. People appreciate you giving them some time to plan. Then you gotta get the material ordered, then you gotta follow up with all that stuff. It's just that part of my life I treasure because I learned so much. I learned so much from that position to help me and what I'm doing now.

Project Management And Communication

SPEAKER_01 51:06

So, you know, it's this whole, you know, unfolding of uh then moving from UCrops into a building company, and you are, I think you and mom are the type of people that will never formally retire. I don't think I will either. Um I'm not sure it's it's all and I'm not sure it's it's what people think it is, at least that's the what I have seen is um you know it's important to continue to stay engaged with people. Is that a belief that you have that you need to keep your mind sharp, you need to keep your body going, keep connected to people? Um so some things that uh I think is is really is interesting is so you have also uh been involved involved in uh Powhatan County, uh doing some uh I guess more like citizen work with a little bit behind the scenes. Yeah, behind the scenes with uh Powhatan um and looking at I guess their growth and helping them uh uh involved in government, which is uh has got to be a totally new experience for you.

SPEAKER_00 52:22

Well no, we're a Powhatan resident, right? So I have selfish interest in what's going on out there. But as you know too, I've got several friends and so do you. Uh I got involved right away with the Palatine Moose Lodge out there. And through one of my very dear Moose Lodge uh members, he helped me get involved with Palatine Christmas Mothers.

SPEAKER_01 52:46

Yes, that's something really important to you.

SPEAKER_00 52:48

Yep. I enjoy helping that out. What a wonderful organization, all throughout the state. All that you know, Richmond, the Chesterfield. And we were somewhat involved in the Chesterfield when we lived there.

SPEAKER_01 52:58

Right.

SPEAKER_00 52:58

Mom and you would come home with a list and we would gather up bicycles and bags, but to um you know, there's a lot of especially in the holidays, there's a lot of sadly unfortunate people who can't uh straightforward afford things or their their little kids coming along as I'm watching my grandkids who would love to have this or a toy or whatever. And somewhat in the spirit of Christmas, we all know what it's really about, but let's face it, it's still about can I have a doll baby, can I get a bicycle, uh, whatever it is. And that's what the Christmas mothers do. But both in clothing, which is a year-long process, as you know. My part is very small, very minus school. We help out two weeks before Christmas is to call in for people to come pick up all the gifts they've ordered, right? And that the Christmas mothers have fulfilled for them, and we load them up in cars and they circle for we do that from eight in the morning until one o'clock, and we do that for two days, and then on Friday, what who are not fortunate to have a vehicle or somebody pick up, we hand deliver. We divide up in about twenty or thirty um couples. It's always two of us that go and deliver to the people who couldn't pick them up.

SPEAKER_01 54:19

Sure, the people that really need it.

SPEAKER_00 54:21

And you know, the fulfilling part there is the smile on our faces and the and the truly people who thank us can't believe that we're well the Christmas mothers, not sure. But um yeah, I I that's an easy one, but it's helping people. And um just it's uh without being self-serving, it's just ingrained, you know, from it what I what I enjoy doing.

SPEAKER_01 54:50

So you said you're 74, which I know. Uh you uh still have a lot of life left. Uh do you ever think about your legacy and what you want that to be?

SPEAKER_00 55:04

Legacy? No.

SPEAKER_01 55:06

Is that something you ever think about?

SPEAKER_00 55:09

Well, I think I think all of us want to be thought of as a uh a good person. In my case, a good husband, a good father, a good papa, grandfather. And I still enjoy helping people.

SPEAKER_01 55:31

Yeah. You know, so you're getting you get coffee every morning with the coffee guys in Powhatan.

SPEAKER_00 55:38

Um small group, the coffee group.

SPEAKER_01 55:41

You're always uh you're still you're doing a lot of nonprofit work. Uh what are you excited about? Are you working on anything? I know you always have your your notepad, your people you're calling. Are you uh are you hoping to bring back golf Samaritans? Are you wanting to work on anything bigger?

SPEAKER_00 56:00

Yeah, I think you you know that. And uh not that you're answering your own questions. I think uh there's a little timing issue with bringing back golf Samaritans.

SPEAKER_01 56:10

Sure.

SPEAKER_00 56:11

On a personal note that several of us know about. I I investigated that uh, as you well know, two years ago into a person, I've got a list in my famous black book of probably 40 people who would be there tomorrow when we're ready to pull the trigger. We've had several meetings with Ryan, who's helpful to because we've I don't say we've lost nonprofit status, but we probably have. So we've got to re-establish a nonprofit. Yes. Or, as you know, we have to tie into an existing nonprofit and let them, I would call shepherd us for the first year or two until we get um somebody on board. I hope a lawyer's listening so we can post bono work for a nonprofit. But yeah, that's one of my passions is to re- restart that. Um, you know, and now that watching my grandkids come along and ask about legacy, is just I'm enjoying watching them grow and enjoy watching them try and fail, but mostly succeed in different sports activities and school activities. I mean, you know yourself, we're very blessed, you know, as a family. I thought about this on the way over. We really are in the building and real estate industry. You and mom and Casey had a real estate license. I had mine, but you y'all are built from a mother-daughter team up to what 16 to 17 people on your team. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 57:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 57:38

Your sister and your brother-in-law are have their own mortgage company.

Staying Engaged And Local Service

SPEAKER_01 57:43

Well, they yeah, they work for a mortgage company.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

They have several people working with them. Uh, your brother is now a county planner with Chesterville County after being a residential and commercial inspector in a very past period. And your youngest brother, he's probably the smartest of all. No college debt, and he can build you anything. Yeah, he's a primer and and loves building.

SPEAKER_01 58:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 58:07

So it's it's all in the family.

SPEAKER_01 58:10

I think all all of us have had our real estate license. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 58:14

Joe's wife.

SPEAKER_01 58:15

Um, you know, like I said, it's Yeah, she's a treasured member of our team for sure.

SPEAKER_00 58:22

Oh, yeah. Well, we can we can build you a house, we can sell you a house, we can buy you a house, we can mortgage your house. Oh, and your husband can survate a house. That's right. It's all his own service.

SPEAKER_01 58:33

It's all it's all in the business, it's all in the family for sure. Yeah, it is. I mean it's not think about it. Very lucky.

SPEAKER_00 58:40

In a nutshell? Yep.

SPEAKER_01 58:42

It's not many people that can say uh their parents and all of their siblings have had uh something professionally in common, but but we do. There's no doubt, uh, there's no doubt that we do. You know, kind of thinking through um, you know, journeys don't always go. Success is not a straight path. It's not at all. Um I think there is a uh, you know, social media is a is a great tool. Uh it can be, it's it's an amazing way for me to stay connected with people, um, but it only tells a tiny bit of the story. And I think that is a reason why I am so passionate about sitting down with people, learning their stories, sharing their journeys, because success is not a straight line. It's not at all. Um, I think about where I might be in my life without you and mom's guidance. I don't know if you remember this, but um I was bound and determined to go to law school. That is what I was doing. Um, I chose a college that had a hundred percent acceptance rate into law school, um Salem College, it did. Um I started having I spent a lot of time. And do you remember me asking you what you thought I should do? Do you have any recollection of that? It's okay because you've got four kids and you know, we ask a lot of questions. Um lots of questions. Um but I think it's so meaningful now that I'm a parent and I think about the influence that I have. Um, you know, you were certainly someone that was, you know, not afraid to tell me, hey, I don't think I'm not sure that's the exact fit for you. And um I really don't think that it was. I I'm glad that I chose to go a different path. Um you helped me decide on PR, which is what I have my degree in. I originally really thought I wanted to go into nonprofit work. It's probably not a big shock given your story and the influence that I had. Um and so, you know, those are the those are the the trials and the tribulations we go through, the paths. And so um I'm lucky to have ended where I have ended. Um I'm only 45, so you know, I I've got a few more I I intend to stay doing what I'm doing, serving folks um in the real estate world. But when you think about success, um would you define your life as successful?

SPEAKER_00 1:01:35

Once again, self-serving comment. I'm proud of what what I've achieved.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:41

Sure, you should be. Yeah.

Legacy, Family, And Future Plans

SPEAKER_00 1:01:42

There's some things, regrets your own work. There's probably some things all of us would have done differently. Um but you know I always looked at looked at what what's the next step? What can I what can I do? When you when you uh having a a family and you're providing for the family, um you you want to do the best of your family, it's it's you gotta just keep moving forward. You know, you might be very content at a certain level. Uh I kind of wasn't kind of wanted to do the the best I could to do, but the uh you know, just um very happy, very blessed, mom and I. Um you know having four kids and and having some some good times, some bad times, some opportunities, you know. Yeah, that's life. And I've still seen it today. And uh you're you'll experience that and you you probably already are, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:53

There's a a very famous saying that you have uh when we were as kids do when you're navigating uh and realizing that life isn't fair. And um I've kind of grown to hate that word, I think you do too, uh, fair. Uh nothing is fair. It's that's the reality of the world. Uh you have a saying that um we would say I would be complaining about a classmate or someone that was doing something that I couldn't do, or uh, you know, I was playing the comparison game. Uh you would say, Don't worry about other people, worry about yourself.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:32

Yep. Uh you can't do anything about other people.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:36

And it's it's a and in in this in and now raising kids in an environment where social media is right in front of them and it is a constant comparison game, uh, you know, that wisdom I think is more important than ever. That people realize that, you know, sometimes what other people are doing is not our business, and you can't control it. All you control is yourself and to keep going and to keep that momentum. Um I I I think that people are they get lost in the comparison game, and I I think if we flip the script and we worry more about what can I do for others than what are others doing, I think we'd find a much more fulfilling life.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:25

Yeah, and I think people need to learn in today's world, especially to talk to each other. You can have a difference of opinion, forget politics, but that's basically what's going on. But hey, it's okay to have a difference of opinion as long as you're allowed to have an opinion. And you and it's based in facts and foundation, not in you know, some fictitious mindset somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:48

And just stay curious of each other.

SPEAKER_00 1:04:53

Yeah, it's here again the basics. The goal we treat people like your person like to be treated and respect them. And um you know, and you know, I hope being the role model and things as you said that in in our guidance uh the person next to you can have influence on you if you allow 'em, but you're the only person that can make the decision to go down the right road and to build yourself. I mean, there's an old saying, I think I've got it in my garage. The uh the difference between impossible and possible is determination. And if it it sounds real simple. Nope, I can't do that. That's I can't get there. Well, yes, I can. And it's just if you're determined and you've got the right values back in you and the support. As you know, you've got from mom and I and Brian and your siblings and your aunts and uncles and look how successful people you've got just in the family that that's around you. And I say that very proudly.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:01

We've got a lot of strong support, I'll say it that way.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:07

Within our family. I mean, people when I talk to David and I talked to how the girls doing, how the boys doing, you know, how's the family doing? Oh, I heard this, oh, I saw that. I mean, we've got a very strong family.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:20

Yeah, I think.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:20

I think you know that.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:22

Yeah, I mean, that's it's that's something that people can't choose and can't control is the family you're born into. And I I recognize how fortunate that I am to have that. You know, but I think to tie a bow on the whole conversation, it's um when I was thinking about sitting down and talking to you about um about your journey, and you know, it's easy to look back, right? There's a um there was a great conversation I was listening to between Oprah and Mel Robbins, who is a very famous uh uh author and podcaster, and they were saying that, you know, when you look back on your life, it's real easy, everything's very clear, right? And you can gain a lot of like confidence and um oh yeah, yeah, I have now now I can figure it out. But it takes a lot of um, I think it takes a lot of guts and a lot of bravery to look towards the future and to think that you have control over it because you do. And I think that you know I think it's easy to get stuck in different parts of our lives. I know I've gotten stuck and probably stayed in places maybe mentally, uh, because really that cage is our mind longer than I I really should have. But when I think about, you know, you've said it yourself, movement, you know, continuing to move, continuing to push, um, you know, it really just comes down to grit, right? Gratitude, and for you, golf. Uh and which is in in giving back through the game of golf. And I think that was an easy one. That's a heck of a legacy to leave back, to leave behind, for sure.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:12

Well, I hope one day we we can revisit it.

Success, Comparison, And Grit

SPEAKER_01 1:08:14

Yes, me too. I think uh there's a lot of need in the Richmond community that we can give out there. Is there any last words? Anything you wanna you wanna share or add for anybody out there? No, that uh what about young people that are uh feel this enormous pressure to figure out what they want to do when they're 19 years old?

SPEAKER_00 1:08:41

Well, in our case, you know, still watching you guys not grow up but evolve. Um keeping you know, keeping your values strong, uh not get sucked into um schemes or quick fixes. I've always said that greed is is the worst is detrimentation of of the world.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:04

People get caught up in keeping up with the Joneses and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:11

And how much you know, how you're being viewed by your fellow classmates, by your cousins, by your you know, your peers, um and continuous improvement in, you know, any activity that you've got, your schoolwork, your sports. Um find out that you smile a whole lot more when you succeed than when you fail. And just live within yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:40

What about to anybody who uh is perhaps has a child that's born with challenges being a mom myself? I remember when I was expecting Anders, uh, I think there was some anxiety. I'm sure you had it with all your grandkids, uh, worrying that you know every healthy is the best is the beth is the best uh birth news you can get. But you know, you've persevered no matter what. Uh what would your advice be to any parent who is has a child that's going through some tough things?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:18

Well, I think I said it earlier. I think uh looking back on it, if if you want to feel sorry or feel pity, which I wasn't allowed to, I used it as a s as a shield and as a stepping block. Uh to be teased or bullied or whatever else, I'm gonna beat you at something else. It might be small, but but I'm gonna outachie you at this or I'm gonna make that team or um you know, setting setting small goals but always climbing the ladder and not going down the other side. I just I've always looked at a glass as half full, you know that. Um there's been some tough times when the glass didn't look full at all, but you have to look to the future, look to the next day. Um and I and I think it's real easy to save and and take for granted. But if you've got what I say, you've got a strong family around you, and you got friendship around you, and you've got good fundamentals, you you pretty much You've got everything. You you're pretty much gonna have a good life, a good day. But you know, I like you asked me, I start in the morning with some friends of mine, learning everything I need to know about Palatan and the gossip and all this kind of stuff, and I end that day talking. I you know.

SPEAKER_01 1:11:49

You have an you have an afternoon ritual, what is that?

SPEAKER_00 1:11:52

Well, uh that's not a ritual, I just start calling people. And most of them are friends. How you doing, what's going on, checking on people, if they've had a little bit of a um whoops, or whatever else. Or I already know tomorrow what I start my mornings off with talking to existing customer or future customer about you know planning what we're gonna do. And it's just it just keeps me moving.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:21

Do you have a goal of how many people you try and talk to each week?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:24

Not really a goal, but it's it's quite a few.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:28

How many people would you say you call on each week?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:31

Each week?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:32

Customers and friends?

SPEAKER_01 1:12:34

Yeah. How many outgoing calls do you do you place?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:39

30, 40.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:40

Yeah. I mean that's that's the recipe for connected connection and success.

SPEAKER_00 1:12:46

That's my as I personally that's that's my way of doing social media. I call people. And if I don't get an answer, I text them.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:55

Yes. And um you know, that's uh, you know, in a in a sales world, uh, and this is not a sales podcast, it's a podcast about people. Uh, but in a world where sales, you know, picking up the phone and and making those outbound calls, for some reason, um there's such a worry that people are you're bothering somebody. And I think when you flip it on its head, maybe think of uh yeah, chime in.

Advice To Young People And Parents

SPEAKER_00 1:13:24

As far as calling people, and and Ray knows this, and some other people, and checking on some elderly folks, some friends of mine. Uh as you know, uh I love music. I like like I said, a lot of vices, a lot of fun. John Prime has a song, Say Hello in There. And it talks about lonely people, and uh every once in a while I'll pick up a phone or stop by and say hello in there. That's sort of a little mantra of mine. It sounds a little sentimental, but you know, I'll reach out to a cousin too I haven't talked to in a while, or I haven't talked to so-and-so, just to hear their voice, or to check on how they're feeling horror. Right, their Carlisle's recovering from having his retinal.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:09

Sure, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:10

You know, and then you feel you have to be careful feeling guilty. Oh, I haven't called him in certain days, or I don't keep a rotating calendar. Um just in my head who I haven't talked to and who I want to talk to.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:22

You just call who you think is right.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:25

Yeah, check in on people.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:26

And I just enjoy the conversation and catching up and responding to people's questions. So that's just um that's just who I am.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:38

Well, Dad, thanks for sitting down to meet with me and talking about uh your life and being vulnerable and uh not everyone.

SPEAKER_00 1:14:47

I'm moderate, I told you, and uh wish you the best success with this. And I hope when they edit it, everything turns black.

SPEAKER_01 1:14:56

All right, thanks. Thank you. Thank you.