Where You Water It

10: Trading Jealousy for Joy ft. Mya Hull

• Ellie Brown

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Have you ever found yourself scrolling through social media only to end up with that "pit" in your stomach? It’s that subtle sting of jealousy when you see someone else’s highlight reel, making your own progress feel small or stagnant. We often call it "comparison" because it sounds nicer, but if we’re being honest, it’s a jealousy that robs us of the very joy we started our businesses to find.

In this episode, I’m joined by Mya Hull, the founder of 41 and a seasoned mentor who has spent over a decade leading women to the highest levels of success. Mya shares her journey of moving from a career built on accolades to a "surrendered posture" where she finally learned to stop looking left and right. We dive into how to trade comparison for an authentic sense of contentment.

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SPEAKER_01

Happy Thursday, everyone. Welcome back to Where You Water It. I am so glad that you are here today. I'm gonna get straight into it because I'm just too excited about this episode. We are talking about something that I feel like hits home for at least every entrepreneur that I've ever spoken to. And it's the shift from feeling like we're kind of performing to actually finding joy in our work. So today I am joined by Maya Hull. Maya is a seasoned business owner and she is now gosh, she's been running her first business over a decade. She's been doing this for a long time, mentored hundreds of women. And she recently made a pivot within the last couple of years and is now running a coaching business called 41. It is a community of dedicated women entrepreneurs, and she helps them to find clarity, confidence, and most importantly, their unique voice in today's very noisy digital world. So in today's conversation, we really are talking a lot about jealousy and comparison and uh what our internal dialogue is to try to combat that and the questions we have to ask ourselves and how it's really this like ongoing process and also finding contentment in where you are, yet also feeling called to improve, do more, all the things. So I know that my conversations ever since reconnecting with Maya, we kind of share a little bit about how we originally met, uh, have been some of the most gosh engaging, impactful ones that I've had in a very long time. And so I'm really excited to share today's episode with you guys because this is just a glimpse of some of her brilliance. So without further ado, I'm excited to get started. Hey there, and welcome to Where You Water It. I'm your host, Ellie Brown, and this podcast is about a lot of things, but it's mostly about growth. Not the overnight kind, but the kind that comes from showing up, paying attention, and really choosing what actually matters. We're gonna talk about life, business, motherhood, and all the seasons that shape it. Because what you nurture is what grows. Hi, Maya. Welcome to Where You Water It. I am so excited to have you. So a little bit about me and Maya and just our journey to get here. We actually met in high school. It sounds like she remembers a little bit more of the details. We were actually talking earlier today on a workshop, and we met in theater class, and she's like, I remember some improv thing that you did. And I was like, Oh my gosh, maybe I was blocking that out. I don't really, I don't really know, but I'm so impressed. Girl, you slayed it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, we were in freshman theater, and I just remember one of the very first activities that our teacher, Mr. Van Dyke, was doing, and he made us all do improv, like the first week of freshman year. And you got up there and you just totally rocked it. Like I remember being like, Well, shoot, if this is theater, I gotta up my game, you know.

SPEAKER_01

Which that's so funny. You know what's funny? I went to like a dinner theater for one of my school Christmas parties, and I think it was one of those improv groups, and they actually gave me their car, and they're like, Hey, if you ever want to do this, like on this side. You'd be so good. You'd be so good. Which it's so funny because I think you actually went on to be in some of the school plays and musicals and things like that, didn't you?

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I mean, I never had a main part, I was always in the chorus, but it was fun and fell in love with the stage, which is actually kind of beautiful because I have now built a career off of teaching and speaking and being on stage, but also having beautiful conversations like the conversations you and I have been able to have. So, isn't that funny how little moments of your life really do lead up to where you are gonna go and every part of your story really does come together? And here we are as adults.

SPEAKER_01

It is wild to me when you're able to like look back and then put the pieces together and see how the full circle really comes together. Ugh, it's crazy. I well, I'm so excited for our conversation. We hadn't talked for a number of years and we reconnected recently, and it's been every single time I talk to you, I just leave with notes and nuggets and like things that I want to take with me for the rest of my life. And so I'm so excited for my audience to be able to hear from you and just to see where this conversation goes today. I know that we have lots of things in store. So I want to start by just saying, please tell everyone about you, who you help, what you do. Just give us a little bit of insight about Maya.

SPEAKER_00

Well, hey, friends. My name is Maya Hole, and I live in Kansas City. I actually live in Olatha. My husband and I just moved back here. Jordan and I have been married for almost 14 years, and we have three beautiful children. I mean, I know every mom is gonna say her children are the most beautiful, but I really do have the most handsome man and the most adorable children. And um I actually am two business owners. How do you say that? A multi-business owner? I don't know the technical term of that, but this is just as I mean, this is just gonna keep it real. But um this is actually, I'm building two businesses right now. So the first one I actually started in college and I became a Mary Kay Beauty consultant. And nine months later, I promoted myself to the top 1% of Mary Kay, earned my first pink Cadillac. And um among many other incredible achievements, accolades, but I fell in love with watching women step into their God-given gifts, and I began teaching and speaking on stages, mentoring hundreds of women, and um fell in love with that. And then a year and a half, I really felt this calling. Um, my faith is very important to me, and I felt the Lord was telling me to begin a new business. And this business is called 41, and it represents women who maybe are in a wilderness season of their business and they just need support and guidance, coaching, content ideas, and they know that they've got so much more within them. They, you know what I mean? Like you meet someone and they're like, I love what I do, I'm passionate about what I do, I'm very talented, but they forget it. They forget it sometimes. They they forget how incredible they are. And my role is to connect with that woman entrepreneur and help us pull out this brilliance and talent and gifts that she has exactly where she is right now, not five years in the future, not five years ago, and to walk through how can I use exactly where I am in my life, in my journey, and have fun again, have joy with it, grow and scale a business that yields business, but also a lot of joy and a lot of peace and a lot of love and whatever is a priority to them at that time. So we call it 41. And so that's what I'm building, and I absolutely love what I'm doing right now, like watching women step into that and just a renewed sound of confidence and not feeling like they have to copy somebody else, but that they can really lit into their own gifts and their own talents and how to share that both in person and online. Like we're a very digital world. And I think a lot of people freeze when it comes to taking that in person to the online presence when we feel like, well, everyone's already doing what I'm doing, and like I could not be great if there's already a hundred photographers or a hundred fitness instructors or a hundred thousand, like we just automatically discount ourselves and our uniqueness. So, my job is helping women see that and share it and lean into it and not back away from it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I know something that even I have personally struggled with is I think since we're so like we are all that we know. And so in my head, sometimes I just assume that other people's brains work exactly the way that I do. And so if I am a major researcher and DIYer and like figure it outer, then everyone else must also be that way. And I know that in the type of work that I do, it is it's like how can I extract what it is that they do for their work and make it look as professional and aesthetically pleasing as I can. And I know for you and what you've been doing for coaching, it's also like, how do I help describe to them what I'm seeing from the outside? Correct.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, not only see it, but like you can use that to grow instead of like being ashamed about it or embarrassed by it, or I think this major shift of I don't have to be someone else to grow or build or create or be like I really can lean in exactly how I'm wired with the gifts that I have, with the age that I'm in, um with the the age of my kids, like all these components of really seeing like, sister, you've got something to offer here. And yes, because you're in it all day, every day, you don't even see it. Like you don't see it. And a lot of times because we're not getting an outward affirmation, we do forget. Like we forget. Like just recently I was talking to this amazing mom, and she's like, I'm really not contributing anything. And I said, Do you know how much a cook is? Do you know how much it costs to like get an Uber? Do you know how much it costs for a laundry service? Do you know how much it costs to make sure like clothes are on your family? Like, don't understand. Yes, exactly. Like, sister, you cannot underestimate the things that you are currently doing. And that's just, I mean, that's just one example.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and I think we are all so, so, so, so quick to do that. Um, okay, I do want to kind of circle back a little bit. I want you to talk a little bit more about the you said, I don't think you used the word pivot. You said that you had a calling. I think it was about a year and a half ago. So I want to hear a little bit more about this transition. What kind of and and just kind of talk us through what you meant by by calling to start something new because I think so many women feel that and they either and for for very many reasons, they might potentially not act on it.

SPEAKER_00

So okay, so like I said, I started this my first business when I was very young, and so I really did grow up. I had all three of my kids while I was actively building that business, and have loved that experience. It was so positive, so impactful in my life, and obviously has made an impact of who I am today. And so, about yeah, about two and a half years ago, my husband and I, we actually moved, and I think anytime you're in the midst of transition, it's a good time to just reassess. Um, but I had begun feeling this um, I don't know if the word tension is the right word, but I could just feel in my soul and I could feel in my spirit that there was something else that I was needing to be doing, but I didn't know what that looked like. Um, it was it's very it was a very abnormal thought. It was something, where did that come from? Why is this happening? And so I guess my first thought is if something happens in your life and it it makes an a profound impact where you kind of pause like I did, like, what is this? Or maybe it's a conversation. Don't overlook it. Like, I think a lot of opportunities in our lives don't come wrapped up in a pretty pink bow and a package and it looks amazing. For me, it was a very simple conversation that happened with another friend of mine who I have a lot of respect for and um I admire her in other ways. And I just remember thinking, wow, I've never thought this thought, but what if, what if I gave it a try? And I think there's a lot of women out there who have what if I opened that bakery? What if I homeschooled my kids? What if I decided to launch something new? What if I left this job or career because it's not what I thought it was? And for me, it was a what if everything I've learned up to this point was leading me to make a change? And because my change wasn't even necessarily a bad one. Like I said, great experience. I have nothing bad to say about the company that I built. Um I still have that company, but there was just something that I was like, man, there's something there. And so over the next few months, um, I just started praying for a lot of discernment. And for me personally, I started praying that the Lord would provide um conversations. And I kid you not, like conversations or random things would happen from meeting other women entrepreneurs who were struggling, or other women who would ask me questions about content, or I don't feel like I can grow right now. I'm I'm I feel stuck or I feel plateaued. And I was like, wow, what if I'm supposed to write and build a company that helps women entrepreneurs learn how to be more authentic online than ever before? Because at this point, social media and the virtual world was still so filtered. We were still all super polished. Like you didn't post your bad stuff ever. Um and while there's some discernment and wisdom um with that comes with that as well, it was still very, still very filtered, I think would be a good way to say that. So learning how to do that. So as I began to have those conversations, I realized I'm never gonna know if I don't try. I'm never gonna know if I don't try. And so I actually wrote a social media class literally called Ignite Your Joy. I wanted to teach women how to live in their joy, work from joy, and not necessarily a place of impressing people, but just working from this is what I know, this is what I'm passionate about, this is what I know I bring to the table. And I want to once again show women what they have and how to bring that in a very real connecting way. And I feel like that is the one thing that a lot of women sometimes they they underestimate the power of connecting from a this is my lived experience. And I'm not gonna use my lived experience as an excuse to why I can't grow. I'm gonna use my lived experience as a reason to grow, kind of like a stepping stone to what could be next. And so loving exactly what you're experiencing and using that as opposed to using it as a reason that you couldn't. So as that shift began to happen, I just began to fall even more in love with teaching that and sharing that and realized, like, wow, everything that I had up to this point really did lead me to this. And there is a whole world and a whole demographic of women who are maybe struggling with the same thing. And I don't need to be like every other social media marketer or social media coach or social media manager. I don't need to be that in order to make an impact. I can use exactly what I have, which is lived experience, lots of both failures and victories, probably, you know, and use those together to write and build something new. And I remember thinking a lot of times, like in my class, one of the main points is we are releasing perfection and we are showing up present. Like just this like surrendered posture of like, I'm not trying to be perfect. I do not want to put on a persona of perfection. Um, but I am gonna be present with what I've got. And I want to hear and listen, connect, and reframe thoughts that are gonna serve better than, like I said, just using my current situation as an excuse to stay where I'm at. Um, and so that pivot happened over the course of like a year and a half. So it was not a quick one, which I think a lot of people assume that it is.

SPEAKER_01

Um yeah, because when they start to pay attention, that's usually after that's already been decided. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Yes, that's so true. So that that one of those first conversations happened in the spring of oh my gosh. I guess that would have been spring of 25. No, spring of 24. Sorry, because we're already spring of 24. Oh my gosh, it's 2026. And I didn't do something with it more concrete until September of that year. So, but even before then, I had been something, something's just shifting, right? So don't ignore if something's like stirring in your heart, especially if you're listening and you've never even written, created, crafted, built anything, like it is never too late, like never ever too late to just say, all right, what if? What could happen? And after I wrote the first workshop in the fall of 2024, six months later, is when I began the 41 Sisterhood. And that was like, okay, instead of having all these private conversations and these women feel alone, and I have to tell them, no, you are not alone. Trust me, I just talked to Susie over here, and Sally feels this way, and you know, this chick feels this way. I'm gonna bring them together. So this way we can link arms, not have gossip parties, not complain, but we're gonna link together and say, okay, how can we grow today? How can we get, how can we use where we are? Wow, love, I love that perspective and that idea. So, how can we move forward? How can we appreciate where we are and use that instead of, well, I'm too old or I'm too late, or I've got toddlers running around the house, or I've I don't have a big enough circle, or whatever excuse I think sometimes people hold back. I've just always believed like if there's this prompting in you in this pit of your stomach, you should you should not ignore it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. Well, and I know that we've talked in the past too, um, that because I love that mindset of it of like this isn't necessarily going to be a gossip party, but it's gonna be something where we're really like leaning into what's going on with you so that I don't feel alone. And then how can your unique experience maybe help me in my walk of life or something like that? But I know something that you've struggled with in the past is jealousy as it relates to other business owners. I know it's something that if I were to pick all of the deadly sins, it's something where it's where I really it's it's part of why the name of this podcast even exists is like I wanted to feel exactly where I'm supposed to be right now. And as much as I was practicing gratitude, I really wanted to in many ways feel wealthy exactly where I was in the season that I'm in. Um because I think once you get to a certain milestone, it's almost like what's the next milestone? Okay, what's the next milestone? Okay, what's the next one? And I don't know that we sit and really appreciate some of the things that we worked for. Like I actually make myself sit and think back to when I was in the classroom dreaming about what I'm doing now, because this is what former Ellie wanted. And it's not where I want to be always, but it it's anyway, so yeah, I would love to hear your take on that, maybe as it relates to what you had done in the past, how you're navigating some of those diligent things now, really any of that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00

Ooh, I think this is something we don't talk about a lot in building a business. Um because we don't really see it outwardly, right? Like usually that's something like deep within our hearts and in our souls. But I I realized that whenever I began to compare, which I do think sometimes we use as a fancy word for jealousy because we're not willing to admit that that's what I'm really feeling towards someone, something, what have you, it will rob you of growth and connections and blessings, I believe, that the Lord really does want to give his children so fast that you really do become just bitter, and you are no longer able to serve your customers and your clients, but it becomes more about what I want and what's best for me. And people. People feel that, right? Like people genuinely can feel that. And over my almost 14 years of building two businesses, um, it's interesting because usually comparison, jealousy, comes in when you're already really tired. And it would it comes in when you're vulnerable and you're unsure and you're questioning. And so a lot of that can stem from what am I looking at every day? What am I assuming about somebody else? Versus actually asking the real questions that sometimes we don't want to ask because that means it's I have to do some internal work. And so I beg I had to ask different questions every single time. I began to become super jealous of someone else's accomplishments, someone's marriage, someone's children, someone's home, someone's things. And I just was like, okay, am I really jealous of them? Am I am I jealous of their work? Am I jealous of the results of their work? Am I jealous of the discipline? Because when I began to change the question, I couldn't be jealous anymore because I realized they a lot of times were doing things that I had been unwilling to do. Like I would compare the type of work they would do, and I'd be like, well, she definitely worked for what she has. So that's gonna change how I feel. But you know what else really began to change it is when I would have a real conversation with them. Like when I would have a genuine conversation with someone, and I would put my pride down aside and talk to them, I'd be like, dang, this person is legit. And then a lot of times she would look back at me and say, I think you're legit. And I'd be like, wow, like how long am I gonna let jealousy rob me of seeing the own gifts that I have?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, right?

SPEAKER_00

And that's ultimately what comparison does is comparison doesn't just steal your joy, it genuinely blinds you from what God is already doing inside of you, the work that He is doing through you and in you and because of you. And we cannot be really genuinely serving customers, building connections when you're just in this posture of jealousy all the time. And I saw this a few times over the last 14 years of my life. But whenever that moment would break and I would just break that stronghold, and I'll tell you how I did it in just a little bit, it would just be like this freedom. And I didn't feel like I had to even get external validation because I wasn't that that's just not the place and posture I was doing it from. But how I feel like I really broke free of a lot of that jealousy is just like you said, I paused and I started becoming way more grateful for what was already happening in my life.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And it's not cliche, it is so true. Like, even there's there's like scientific backing that you cannot be both grateful and have a state of anxiousness or bitterness or frustration simultaneously. Like your brain cannot hold space for both of those. So you've got to pick one. You you have to consciously choose. I can be grateful for where I am and let that spur us on to continuing a good work. Or I can be looking over here and thinking, well, she has this, well, she has this, well, she has this. And just these you just hear that sounds like it just it's like, oh my gosh, like I just don't even want to sound like that, right?

SPEAKER_01

Um even both outwardly having conversations with other people, that I think it's easier to notice when that might be happening. But I don't want to live that inside of my head either. Like, I think some of the stuff that has really changed for me. I know this whole like it's 2016 again thing is going around right now. And I just I think about mentally what has changed. And I think I like so many people, my internal narrative has been in the past like I'm not enough for a gajillion reasons, or like they don't need to hear this, or someone's doing it better, or all the thoughts that we have, and it takes so much active work inside of my own head to say something to myself that is different, to bring up oh, well, you it's almost like coaching my own self or like asking questions. Well, didn't you do this hard thing? Which proves that you can do this hard thing. Maybe the hard thing you're doing now is different than that other hard thing that you did before. But it's proof of concept, it's proof that you'll do what's required, it's proof that you'll figure it out. And like I also feel like that almost oversimplifies it. But for so many things that relates to how I didn't like the way that I was showing up in my own head and I didn't like the thoughts that I was having, it's like, okay, I finally had to decide that I don't want to think that anymore and make internal choices about showing up differently for myself. Because at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter. Like you said, if someone has a bigger house than me, or cars, or vacations, or they have all of these other things. We also don't know, we only know the story that they want us to know and the part that they're putting out, and the part where you said, like, she looked back at you and she said, No, I think you're legit. Um for me, that's been one of the hardest parts of becoming an entrepreneur, and that's probably why I am one, is that your girl loves some external validation. She loves to be told, like, you're doing well. But I am now in a field where I will never be getting a um, like a what's that called? It's been so long. Annual meeting. What does it call me? Like I don't know, I've never been in corporate America. Um, annual review, like performance review. Those types of um none of none of those. Like I have to, at the end of the day, I I have to believe I am enough. I have to believe that what I'm doing for my clients is enough and everything that I have, and it's this dichotomy of like, while I currently believe everything that I'm doing is everything that I have, and I know and I'm so confident in it, also knowing that there are areas where I want to grow and improve, and and that's okay to be okay with both.

SPEAKER_00

Absolutely. There is a beautiful harmony of having both of those thoughts together of I love the growth that I have navigated, and I am so grateful for where I was and where I am, and I want to simultaneously grow. Like I do think there's a good harmony that has to be in there together, and I think you have to ask the questions: okay, why am I wanting to grow? What is spurring that on? Because I also think you can have this desire to grow, and it is for an external thing, and then when you don't get the external, this was a big shift for me because I did come from a world where everything I did, I did receive an external validation and I did get noticed, and I did get applauded, and those things aren't bad until that becomes your sense of why you're doing something all the time, because then when it doesn't happen, you don't know how to like work from like within, like this real deep down, I'm committed, even if no one else sees it ever again. And that for me was a big part of my own faith journey, where realizing like my personal joy was not coming from an achievement or a title or an accolade, but my joy truly had to come from walking in an obedience, so breaking free of the I did good compared to this person, it doesn't matter anymore. Like that that didn't matter, but a genuine like I really am stewarding where I am with the talents I have right now, with the wisdom I have right now. And there's gonna be a day when I even look back and be like, wow, like you did what you could with the wisdom that you have at that time, the connections, the insight. And I want to be able to say I was I was so good at stewarding right now that it led to growth that didn't need to even look left or look right. Like, and I heard this recently, and I feel like this is so true. Is there are going to be a lot of people in your field, whatever field that may be, who do what you do. And we try to act like not sometimes, because in my own journey of like comparison and jealousy and some of that and growing a business, I almost had to be like, well, I want to be the only person who teaches this way or speaks this way. Or I want to be the the person for this specific brand, right? I want to be known for this, whatever blank you enter. And there can be hundreds of thousands of people within your industry who do the same thing, but this is the part I think we miss a lot. But no one will still do it like you. You are the reason that people choose to work with you, to be in your space, to connect with you, to click follow, to purchase your item, to book the call with you, because you are going to bring a level of connection, care, energy, your moral alignment, your fur your faith in ways that nobody else can. Like, and to think that we even have to stop and compare to someone else within our same industry, sister, don't even give that energy. Yes, don't even give that energy. There's not. And I think for me, launching 41, that was a real like, okay, yeah, there's a lot of coaches, there's a lot of social media coaches, there's a lot of women who have built incredible businesses, but no one's gonna do it like me. And it's not a cockiness, it's a genuine confidence of not looking left, not looking right, not letting that jealousy jealousy have any more hold in my heart, and simply just being faithful to with what I have right now in this season and showing up with it.

SPEAKER_01

And I think if, gosh, if whoever is listening to this, because I've heard that for so long, and I feel like it's really coming into my belief system, into my core within the last couple of months, really, where I'm like, I'm done. I'm done. Like, I like you said, I'm not looking left, I'm not looking right. The faster you can believe that and know it to be true, I feel like the second part of your life will begin. Like it would, when you know that you are enough, when you don't need to compare, when everything that you have, just as you are, it doesn't matter if you want to like make any pro improvements over here or maybe evolve in a different way. The way that you are today is the way you're supposed to be today. And really believe that and trust that and the things, how you show up, the things that you say, it's what's meant to be said that day, and not overthink it. I can't even remember where I saw this, and I'm probably gonna butcher it. It was well, I know it's on the internet somewhere, but um, like I don't know who it came from. It was just this picture of a bee buzzing from flower to flower to flower. And it was essentially this message of they wake up and they and they're just gonna go out and they're gonna do the thing that they're supposed to do. And I think it was relating back to like, what if we just went out and did the things that we were meant to do and didn't question, like, is this right? What's this person gonna think about me? How will this be perceived? And we just lived, and we just lived a little bit more. I was oh gosh, even the other day, I was feeling so anxious in the pit of my stomach, and I was illustrating a coffee cup, and I really had to stop and think, like, where is this coming from? This job you have chosen for yourself is supposed to be fun. Listen to what you're doing out loud, like say the actions that you're doing right now and really ask yourself, is it the work that's causing you anxiety? It's is it time related? Like, let's get to the root of this because I don't want to feel this way anymore. And in the past, when I my body was feeling ways that I didn't like it too, I really made choices to try and not feel that way anymore. Um, and that's looked like a lot of different things. But um, yeah, I love your your take on joy. Now I'm kind of like switching gears a little bit here. But when you talked about igniting joy, that's another thing where I like since starting this podcast and doing that stuff, um, some of the stuff that I've done recently, it's like I'm the boss, I'm gonna have more fun, period. Like yeah, I didn't create something to be so stressed out. This gets to be more carefree. There's so many things in life that are serious, and this gets to be more carefree.

SPEAKER_00

You know, one of the big shifts I feel like I also leaned into with this thought process of releasing this comparison, releasing this jealousy, having to have outward affirmation and accolades because I think I finally started asking myself, what would I do for more joy without having to make it result in a new client? Okay, because I literally feel like I lived in a frame of mind that everything I was doing had to have a purpose around my work. And work is not bad. Like, I believe that work is the way that we honor and glorify the Lord. And simultaneously, there also was a day of rest and learning how to have rest without justification or having it be earned. And so for me, I started asking myself, okay, if I could do anything for 24 hours that brought me joy, what would that be? And scheduling a date with a friend or not answering any phone calls for 24 hours or simply being with my husband, because I love to be with my husband, and I I I like mean that. Like I'm a quality time person. Um, and so I wanted our time to be quality, and I just realized like when you genuinely become joyful, like your voice begins to like settle. Your yes becomes more of like a I'm genuinely saying yes to this. And then I felt like I could play without guilt, I could rest without guilt, and it just like like I don't know, like it just brought this like, oh my gosh, like why am I working so hard? Hear me, like, hear me out. I work hard and I we need to work hard, but there's got to be something fun in the midst of that too, right? Like I don't need to work to become more, I just simply need to recognize what is already here, and I don't want to miss what is currently happening. I I want to create moments of fun and like my golly, if you're gonna water something, at least enjoy how beautiful it looks, right? Like enjoy enjoy it, enjoy the fruits of of that. But I think it also allowed me to then learn how to be genuinely happy for other people if I could learn how to be happy for myself too. Isn't that weird how that kind of like correlates? Like, yeah, wow, I am really proud of this. Wow, if I am genuinely proud of what I'm creating, that is automatically going to also just overflow. Because usually what's in your heart just naturally overflows. So if you are struggling still with maybe some jealousy or comparison or whatever maybe you're struggling with, that's naturally gonna overflow. Like you can't hide it. Same thing. Practicing the state of contentment, learning to live in my authentic, um, grounded self. Not for the sake of self, but I do believe like when you can rest in that, you will look at people differently, you will serve them differently, you will listen to them differently, because I also don't need to be hurt all the time because I don't need to be a validated to be hurt all the time.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. Yeah. Gosh, oh my gosh, so many things. So I love how you just briefly touched on this, but you're like, what I'm doing doesn't need to result in a new client every single time. I feel like I'm definitely on a journey of this, the podcast being one of them. Like, this is something I just love connecting with other people. And if that's the only thing that results from this, it has brought me so much happiness, so much joy. I work by myself a lot of the time. And I have absolutely adored the conversations that have come out of this. We'll call it a passion project, but it was also supposed to be a marketing thing. Like whatever comes of it, I had wanted to do it for so long that I don't care, I'm not tied to the result of it in any way. In any way. I just am excited. And right or wrong, as a business owner, I feel like I don't stress a lot on numbers in the beginning. And I'm not saying that they're not important and metrics don't help move the need or figure out where you should spend more of your time. But I do think for me, I try to get in the habit of doing something and making it a habit before I'm like, okay, so how can I make it better now? Um, instead of like overfocusing on followers or likes or downloads or different things like that. It's like if I hyperfocus on that, then I will stop doing it because it's not big enough, or as many as they have, or this or that. Um for whatever reason, that's been now. Now I'm in a season of where like I actually want to track some, I want to track some other things. Um, but then the other thing that you said too, uh, or at least it made me think of this, is I've had to, as of recently, really think about what are my actual priorities because I think in my calendar and how I'm spending my time, I think I'm actually living those a lot more than I tell myself than I that I am. And it's like I just forget to notice it, if that even if that even makes sense. Like travel is something that I care about. We bought a camper last year, and so we have been able to go see more of Colorado and and we have trips coming up and and some different things like that. And it's um so just I know for me and moving into this year, that's something that I've wanted to be really intentional about is does my calendar reflect the things that are priorities to me, but also defining what those are because if I don't know what is important to me and I've never really thought through what's the stuff that's going that brings me joy, right, then it is very easy to fall into well, maybe I want what somebody else has because they look really happy while they're doing it.

SPEAKER_00

Yes. Yeah. And I think I think the world has easily done that because we do have so much access to everything at our world's fingertips. Like, if you knew nothing about anybody else's life, it's like a gift. What when what a gift that would be? Like, really, like, would you really want that? Or do you want that because a certain person of status wants that? Or is that really what like in your soul you feel okay about? Like, I think for me, I know this is a very simple and stupid example, but for the longest time, I felt like as a leader and as a top entrepreneur, I cannot show up without my makeup on. Like, it just was an unacceptable rule of thumb. And I just remember being like, but that's just not me all the time. Like, that's just not an authentic part of me. And I love both. And I don't, I I love makeup, and I also love not wearing makeup. Like, so what if I asked a different question to be does this align with what I consider important? Like, does this really matter? Or have I made up this assumption that it does matter? And and so, okay, let me let me reframe a few of these things too, because I think when you're trying to figure out your priorities, I think you have to ask questions because then you learn to say yes from the answer to those questions. You begin to look wisely at others and say, but that doesn't align with me right now. Yeah, that doesn't align. So I don't need to compare because that does not align with what I believe I am doing and so forth. So the first thing is I think your morals, right? Like you have to really address your morals. And for me, like I said, this my faith and my decision to follow the Lord, that is gonna be one of my first things. Like, what what does my faith in Jesus say about that? Number two is my spouse. Like he he has a huge impact in what I do and don't do, and what I like our decisions are together, and I am gonna be a huge advocate for protecting a marriage in the midst of building a business and just making sure you're aligned, and that's an important value to me. So, like, okay, are we on the same page? What are what are our our values around our church family and like how we serve and what does that look like? And um, what is important for us right now and in this season? Um, and then obviously, like, okay, look, let's look, let's look at our finances and let's look at does that decision allow us to do with what we want in our finances? And I know that's a whole nother topic in itself, but it really has allowed us to start saying yes to the right things and literally no to anything else. If it is not like an absolute yes, then it's we're not doing that right now. Period. Like, I don't need an explanation, I don't need a justification, but even in the midst of someone who can open up their app and be like, oh my gosh, so-and-so looks this, okay, but if it is not aligned with these areas, it's okay. I can let it go, I can be genuinely happy for them. And I'm not gonna let the answer to those questions make me feel that I'm also not being authentic to where I'm at right now. Because healthy authenticity is grounded in knowing, it is not reactive to what we assume we're supposed to be doing or what we assume life is supposed to look like. Because I'm sure all of us at one point could admit sometime in our life, like life maybe doesn't look like I thought. Maybe even in the midst of building something, like, okay, we're like a year, year and a half into 41. All right, so we may not have as it may not be this size of what I thought, but oh my gosh, look at what did happen in my first year, and this is really good. And what went good? What could I do that would make a greater impact? Maybe my impact can't be greater, but I just have to create systems that would allow a different type of growth, right? So then it's it it shifts the questions of eliminating comparison both simultaneously, loving where I'm at and yielding a growth mindset to be very protective of not getting trapped in the comparison and jealousy, both desiring growth and a sense of contentment and gratitude exactly where you are. And from that, you get to work from this genuine place of peace and joy. It's I'm not saying things to impress people, I'm not making decisions to show people like wow, look what she did. Nope. Like this aligns with what's important to me and my values. This allows me to make my yes be my yes and not a yes out of obligation. And therefore, I get to show up in a way that it's authentic. Like it's it's it's genuine. Like some days I have makeup on and some days I don't. And that's great.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, and both are both are true because there's just there's so many sides to a business and a person, and I think that it's just it's a bit I know that I have loved to consume your content, and you do, you just show up as you are, and I think one thing that continues to be a reminder for me, you kind of touched on this before with the whole like, no, I think you're legit, is um I feel like when I show up doing something that feels courageous or brave, or maybe today I'm not wearing my makeup, it gives people the courage to hopefully that's that's usually my intent behind it. I mean, it's I mean, it's sometimes there's not actually any hidden meaning other than like, I'm popping on this is a thing that was in my head today, so I'm gonna share it on my stories. But I do hope that by me showing up and doing something that feels scary and something where I feel like I need to be brave in order to do it, that it does give people the courage to go out and do whatever form of bravery or courageous thing it looks like for them and their life. Whatever that looks like, it does, it could be, it doesn't mean it's starting a business, it could be something totally unrelated to that. Um, but that is really and truly my hope. I I have a degree in social work, and a big quote in that field is like, be the change that you want to see in the world. And it was always something that I really struggled with at that time because it felt too big. Like, how do I end poverty? How do I end hunger? Those felt way too macro. And then a couple of years ago, I was pouring coffee over like in the nook in my kitchen or something, and I was really thinking about that quote. And it's like, for me now, I feel like it means show up more as yourself doing the things that you feel like you've been called to do, so that it gives courage for other people to do it, like be the change in like stepping out into who we're supposed to be and following those urges and those nudges and the things that are in the pit of our stomachs, or the conversations that are sticky, or the ones that keep coming up.

SPEAKER_00

So I love that because we you're a thousand percent right when we truly live in that pit of the stomach feeling, and we make those decisions and we step out of courage, like your obedience truly does impact people who may never even tell you. Yeah, you're you have to trust that like you do, you have to hear it, it's gonna hear it. Yes, and also realizing like your story, uh let me backtrack. You don't need someone else's platform to make an impact. You simply need to be faithful with yours.

SPEAKER_01

Yes, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Whether that platform is the pickup line for your school or the kids, you know, your kids' school, whether that platform is in your community, whether that platform is as you're walking into church, whether that platform's at the grocery store and how you treat those poor checkout kids, right? Who are also just 17 years old, by the way. Y'all like they don't be kind of much still, yes. Um I think there's just so much to be said about staying faithful to the season you're in, even if it doesn't look impressive yet. Even if it doesn't look impressive yet, because impress is not measured by the likes. And I think for me personally, I don't want to get to the end of my life, and you were so worried about what so-and-so was doing that you missed out on the beautiful garden I had right in front of you. Like, I want to be faithful to tending what I have been given, and whether you have daisies and I have roses, or you have apples and I have oranges, right? Like both are beautiful, both are needed, both make our world and our society diverse and stunning and unique. Um but I think I think we have to realize that growth often sometimes looks really quiet before it's visible. And I think entrepreneurs were a lot of times in a non-visible moment. And just because you don't ever get to speak on stage doesn't mean that you weren't impactful.

SPEAKER_01

And honestly, I think that's one of the things that I do love about social media is that it does give, gosh, I as much as I'm like, wouldn't it be so great and such a gift to like not know what anybody's doing? I wouldn't, we would not be having this conversation because we knew each other over a decade ago. Like the internet is what brought us back together. And so I also have been really trying to lean into how do I make this fun? How do I like make add the social back into it? Um, I love the whole like so many things. I feel like I could just keep talking to you forever. But my favorite, my favorite thing about going to the state of Washington is the diversity of all the plants and the flat, like and the fact that it looks so different from where I live right now, it doesn't mean that I don't love where I live. I love where I live. I live in Colorado, I love it. But I also love going there because I get to see and be a part of something that is so drastically different. Um, and I know for me in the past when I've listened to things like this, it's gotten a lot better. But I just I I like to add a little caveat of like, this is something that I'm continuously needing to tell myself. And the things that we're discussing right now are things that are on repeat in my head that I have to remind myself. It's not like I just wake up and I'm Pollyanna and everything's like perfect inside of my mind, and I'm sure it's very similar with you, in that this takes it takes ongoing work to feel joy and to lean into gratitude versus the alternative.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, for sure. And I think one of the verses that I have to like lean into often is that I have to take my thoughts captive daily, right? Like it is a very active work, and you know, building I really believe like all facets of our life, um, there's a such a shift in how you show up in all those facets when your mind is completely different around the thought around it, right? Like from how I support my husband to how I listen to my children, to how I discipline my children, to how I respond to someone unsubscribing, to how I respond to someone onboarding, like all of those emotions and all of those thoughts happen in milliseconds in our brains. And so learning to take captive the thoughts that I have and turn them to Christ for me has been such a transformation in how I think around both my relationships and my business, but also realizing like the moment that I stop doing that is when all of those negative things come back. And I I think we do fall into the trap. Well, I've got this check, I'm done, I've built, I've I've mastered that. But the moment that you stop showing up to guard and protect and to make sure that the six inches between my ears are serving me well rather than hurting me, is the day that we do stop growing and we go back into those habits that are not healthy, those thoughts that are gonna ruin relationships as opposed to grow them. Or um and so knowing that, okay, and it's why simple I mean you could you could do so much with this, Ellie, too. The simple, simple practices of meditation and prayer and journaling are daily practices. Like a lot of people that I learn from and admire, they constantly encourage me to make sure I don't underestimate those small daily habits. Because if I'm not learning how to be grateful, that comparison and jealousy comes right back. And it's something I have to like, okay, Lord, thank you for this opportunity. So I know I will never arrive, but there's also like it, there's like a really beautiful feeling of that I also don't ever have to.

SPEAKER_01

And I think that's what I'm loving about life right now is yeah, the whole joy is in the journey. I'm actually leaning into this and I'm loving the journey. I'm I'm I'm not just saying it, I'm actually like feeling it, believing it, sitting in it, and not trying to race to the end. Because I don't, I'm not ready for the end. Not ready for the end. Yeah. Um, well, oh Maya, I have love, love, love this so much. Please, um, for anyone who's listening, tell them where they can find you, um, where you like to hang out online, different things like that. This has been super.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my goodness, friends. Well, uh, okay, so you can find me on Instagram, the Maya Hole, M-Y-A-H-U-L-L. Um, you'll find lots of pink, lots of sparkles. Um, but you're gonna find a depth of really helping you just stay um rooted and rooted in that joy. Um, lots of content ideas as I'm teaching women how to show up on social media, of course. But more importantly, I just will never stop loving helping women see them the way that God sees them. Um, so you can find me there. I'm also on Facebook, Maya Hole, N-Y-A-H-U-L-L. Um, and um, you can find me um in at my email, themayahol at gmail.com. I'd love to have you um just to cheer you on and truly like like I said at the beginning, like when we link arms with other women who genuinely want to see you win, we all do. We genuinely all do. And so my prayer for you after listening this today is that you see yourself the way um the Lord does. And you may or may not have anything to do with faith, and um, I just pray that you felt a peace listening today. And I'm so excited for Ellie, of course. Um, when she told me she was launching this, I was like, girl, I'm so pumped for you, and I know it's it's gonna be a blessing to so many people. And so I'm excited to watch it grow and watch Ellie Brown branding go grow. And so thanks for just letting me be a part of it today. It's been an honor, and I I'm just so excited for you.

SPEAKER_01

Thank you so much. I just wanted to say thank you, thank you, thank you so much for listening all the way to the end of today's episode of the Where You Water It podcast. I'm so grateful to have you here. And if this episode resonated with you, be sure to subscribe to the show on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or consider leaving a review. For a new show like mine, reviews mean everything. And they actually help new business owners find my show as well. And if you know that your brand or website is holding you back from showing up confidently and charging premium prices for your services, head over to ellebrownbranding.com to schedule your product discussion call today. Until next time, keep watering what matters.