"The Life of F/A Tim Colceri " Hang-on!

Vietnam Marine veteran Tim Colceri flys 1st class for 3 years before getting hired by Braniff. Along the way a Head-shrink collapses Tim's hope to fly with Delta airlines.  Later a 747 Captain holds Tim hostage on the tarmac in HNL. 

Later Tim would find Sigourney Weaver in his arms crying- while Director James Cameron is jealous of Tim's film-role working for Stanley Kurbrick...can you imagine? To request a copy on Tim Braniff film script "On the Fly" email: TimothyColceri@gmail.com

Copyright: 24 Hour Entertainment, Inc. 2025-2026

Music Licensed by: Pixabay

Music by: Nerdy Boyz

Song: Dance Energy

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:08

What life was really like at thirty thousand feet. We're taking you behind a curtain to share the secret histories of the crews who defined an era. Travel from the chic elegance of the sixties to the high flying energy of the eighties. An era of disco, icons, world-class service that will never be seen again. Welcome to the Brand of Chronicles. There's nothing uh you can say whatever you want, whenever you want, about anyone you want. Anything. So um here we are. This is the Brand of Chronicles. My name is Chick. I'm your host. My clock number is 41352. We are talking today to Tim Kulserry, one of the most energetic flight attendants, handsome flight attendants in the short-lived history that we flew on Braniff International Airways. How are you doing today, Tim? And welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

Oh, well, great. Great to talk to somebody back in the day. We had so much fun working with Braniff, didn't we?

SPEAKER_01 1:09

Right. Well, absolutely. So before we get into the deep delve of our experiences there, uh, do you promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth to help you, Braniff?

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Yes, I like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

And what's your clock number? You remember your clock number?

SPEAKER_00 1:25

Oh gosh, I have no idea.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

All right, we'll make one up. 000 000. That's your clock number. So um, what were you doing prior to getting hired by Braniff? And how did you come about getting hired by Braniff? Did you read it in a newspaper clipping? Was it uh word of mouth?

SPEAKER_00 1:44

No, it's actually it's a pretty interesting, that's a great question because um actually, when I got out of Braniff, I actually wrote a screenplay about my experiences as a flight attendant, and um it started with how I got hired. I was I played professional golf for like three years, and I tried to get my PGA card, and I just wasn't good enough. I was good, but I wasn't good enough. I just didn't know what to do, and I wanted to go to Vegas. I grew up in Phoenix, I wanted to go to Vegas and be a dealer, and my best friend said he had a rich uncle in Miami. We argued back and forth, and we put the coin, and I ended up in Miami. And I he told me to lie on the application, say I bartended and weighted tables, and I never done any of that. All I did was a marine and golfer, so I lied and they hired me at this Victoria Station restaurant. Okay. I remember those places. Huh?

SPEAKER_01 2:40

I remember Victoria Station, yeah. It was like a prime rib house, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:44

Yeah, well, they it was one of the first salad bars ever, and they had little it was just a it was out of cabooses and stuff, remember? Right, yep. They had vodka cheese in it, crack wet rich crackers, and really good food. Anyway, I after three days of working, they called Phoenix and said they brought me in the room and they said, You've never worked a day in your any restaurant, you lied to us. And you were fired from Victoria Station. My buddy was fired, I didn't know that. So they asked me why I, you know, I lied to them. I said I needed a job. They said, Okay, I thought, in fact, I said I thought I was doing a good job. I thought you were gonna make me a waiter. You're doing a good job, but if you lie about anything, you we're gonna keep you on, but if you lie about anything, you're immediately terminated. And so I lasted three years, and I would actually I had a I was I you know they gave you uh add-ons, whoever sold the most wine. I didn't even try it, I was selling more than everybody, so I got the best, you know, eight A was the best seating capacity, five o'clock to eight o'clock, and I'd be out of the restaurant and make more money than anybody. Well, I had guys that would pay me for $35 just to have my shift, right? Then I'd go to the dog tracker, Haileyah. Anyway, and getting off the subject, my best friend went to Continental as a flight attendant. He came back three days later and told me about his experience. And I said, I want to do that. And he goes, How about applicate applications? So I started filling out applications, and me and him flew around first class for three years. Oh wow, we tried to get on with Delta, it was a non-union organization. This is an amazing story of how we got the job. Anyway, I had an interview in Northwest from Minnesota for Northwest, and he didn't get one. And as I was as we were about ready to leave, we both got a letter from Delta saying competition was too keen at this time, you know. Try us later on. Well, my roommate turned around and said it's a non-union organization. I want it so bad that I will fly myself up from Miami if you let me get an audition. They liked that and they sent him a first-class ticket. So now I'm kind of pissed off he outthought me, you know. And I'm flying to Minnesota, my plane landed in Atlanta. I looked out the window and I saw all these Delta planes. I went, Oh, this is their hub. This is where he's coming Monday. I wonder if I come back through here. And I looked at my ticket. Yes, I do. I got 30 minutes to figure out what I can do when I get back through here. If I can get a hotel, maybe go in for the audition and say I flew myself up, right? So that's what I do. When I get off the plane, I do three days in Minnesota, and I'm coming home and I stopped in Atlanta, and they had one of those hotels there. They said, How much is a hotel room? They said $28. So okay, thank you. She goes, Oh no, you're a flight attendant, you get a discount. I said, I'm not a flight attendant yet. I'm trying to become one. She goes, Well, that paperwork you got in front of you right there gives you a discount. I said, How much are they now? She goes, $18. I swear all I had in my pocket was $18. I got this room. I called my roommate, guess where I am? Minnesota? No, I'm in Atlanta. Bring me another tie. Got me another tie. Next day we went in there. I walked up. She goes, Do you have your pink slip? I go, No, ma'am. But my roommate who's behind us, we both got the letter. He's he said he would fly himself up. He wrote a letter and they gave him a first class ticket. I decided I just fly myself up. Some guy in the back went, Well, maybe you ought to write a letter too. And all of a sudden the woman says, Yeah, maybe you should write a letter too. So I went over to the seat. I pulled a sports illustrated. I put the letter. I've just been hired by Northwest Orient. I've always wanted Delta because it's a non-union organization. I feel like I've been drafted in the Army. I want to enlist in the Marine Corps. Sincerely, Tim Colserry. I go back and give the letter to this woman. She goes, Okay, Tim, somebody'll get back with you in three days. I said, Three days? I'm here now. Can't you get me now? Oh, you're a very persistent man. I said, ma'am, if you wanted this job as bad as me, you do the same thing. She goes, Have a seat. Now I'm thinking, God, I hope I can get back on, you know, the north northwest plane. I told him I had to get off for half an hour and I missed the plane. Can I get back on? You know? And all of a sudden they go, Mr. Colserry, somebody will see you. And I knew all the answers after three years. What's the most important thing about being a flight attendant? The safety of the passenger. Send him on. Move him on. So we got to the final, final place. There's my roommate. And they brought this one woman back from Boston four times. And she goes, I go in the room and she goes, How on earth did you get this far without having an appointment? And I said, Well, ma'am, if you wanted this job as bad as me, you do the same thing. Sensor for Phoenix, Arizona? Yes. Yes, ma'am. Seven kids in your family? Yes, ma'am. So you play pro golf? Yes, ma'am. What about this when you're with the Marines? What was that like? Well, at the young age of 19, I learned a lot about leadership and responsibility. I learned to love my family and love my country very much. Ring, ring, ring. Hello? Yeah. Yeah. I get I got somebody I want you to talk to. Do you have your honorable discharge papers? Yes, ma'am. They're in the lobby. Can I get them? Yes, go get them. I go out there, my roommate gets let's go. I go, no, no, I'm doing pretty good. I'm doing better than I thought. I come back with my honorable discharge paper, and she goes, What about your DDT 14 paper? Yes, ma'am, they're in the lobby. I think I would have brought all the shit, you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

On the fly, man, on the fly.

SPEAKER_00 8:07

That's what I'm naming the screenplay on the fly. Anyway, he I came back. She goes, Mr. Greenley, Mr. Kolseric, Mr. Johnson, our next thing is you're going to see our psychiatrist down in Peachtree Plaza. He's our final audition. Here's your chip for the taxi. Here's your lunch. And we get in this, it is pouring rain. And this chick's been back four times. She starts going, We're hired. They never send anybody to the to the psychiatrist unless you're hired. It costs too much money to get this far. And my roommate's thinking, yeah, we're hired. And I go in there and I'm taking all these tests. You know, when I go to a party, I like to get by the warm fireplace, A, or get up and mingle. B, you know. So I'm doing all these stupid tests, and they said, Mr. Colessary, the doctor will see you now. As I walked in to see the psychiatrist, I kept thinking to myself, do you know Tim Colserry? That guy's a crazy son of the Timbo. You know, Tim, oh, I'm crazy, Tim. I know him, Tim. He's crazy. I don't want to see a psychiatrist. I remember thinking that, you know. So I got in there and the psychiatrist goes, Colserry. Colserry is a very interesting name. Means a lot to our country. I go, really? Oh, yeah. If you break it down, you got the culture at the beginning call and the eye at the end to get the peaches, the go the growth. I go, wow, wait till I tell my dad that one. When's the last time you talked to your father? A couple months ago. You know it only cost 99 cents to call anytime after five o'clock. No, I didn't know that. You should call me tonight. I said, I think I will. I'm putting a paper in my pocket, hit balls all day when it's time to go play, I'm ready to go fly. So here you went to Vietnam, right? Yes, sir. And I said, he said, What happened? I got to learn about leadership responsibility, learn to love my family and love my country. He goes, I want to stop you and thank you from the bottom of my heart for serving our country. Then he goes, Tim, if you're on a date with a girl and it was your first date with her and she wanted you to do it, would you do it? I quit rocking the chair. I said, This is a big one. I gotta get this one right. And he goes, I go, well, sir, sex sure has changed in the last 10 years. And he slapped his leg and he went, I know you can't find a virgin anymore. You're hired. Now we're like best friends, I'm thinking, you know. And I leave there and he says, We got another ticket, a first-class ticket from Delta Atlanta to Miami, you know. And then my roommate came in and I winked at him thinking they couldn't have got any better. My roommate comes out going, You're hired. All he did was talk about what a cool guy you were. He loved you. I don't think I'm gonna get hired, but you're definitely hired. He ends up falling in love with the flight attendant on the way to Miami. They end up hiring him, they don't hire me. He goes in and finds my record and said, Two career oriented in golf. Wow. So that golf thing, when I said beeper, you know, that was the wrong thing to say. He thought he was doing me a favor. He thought I wanted to be a golfer. Yeah, yeah. So I put in an application to go to for Braneth right after this. Now that I'm kind of very sad because we've both been trying, and now he's hired, he's in love, he's leaving, and I'm still trying to get on with the stuff.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Hold it, holding your putter.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

And so I called uh I tried to get on with um uh Braniff, and I had an audition with them, and um it was terrible. They said if we don't call you by nine o'clock tomorrow morning, there were not interested you could try back in six months, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:47

Now, do you remember who was sitting across from you when you were doing that interview? Uh was it like Debbie Head or was it like uh I think one of them's name was Susan.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

Wait till you hear what happened.

SPEAKER_01 11:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:58

So now, so now I know they're not gonna call me because it just was not uh it wasn't a good idea. She didn't let me talk. She just was talking about herself. I never got to say anything. So I knew I was not gonna get a call back or whatever. So two two weeks go by, I get another brand of sending another first class ticket for me to come to Dallas. I'm going, did I get a call back or is this another application that went through and this is the first time like they're seeing me again? I don't know. I guess I'll go and I'll figure it out, right? So I go there and it's the exact same thing as it was before. So now I know it was another application that went through. Somebody fucked up, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

This application, this time it went really well. Sure, sure enough, the next morning at nine o'clock, I get this phone call and she goes, Tim, we're gonna bring you back for the final audition. I go, I gotta be honest with you, I had one two weeks ago that didn't go very well. And she goes, Who's it what? Who who was it with? And I told her, and she goes, Thank God I called you from my home. If I called you from scheduling, it would have been recorded. But since it's not, uh don't say anything to anybody. I go, Well, what am I doing wrong? How come I can't get hired? How come I get you know three years of getting callbacks and seeing psychiatrists and physical? She goes, Well, you sit like you're going into a football game, you sit back and beat and have your personality, and you'll be fine. There'll be a groom there. So put my hands, hold on to my hands, it just became, you know, me without being in the aggressive sit sitting stance, and asked me about myself. I chronologically told what I went through, and then she asked the girl next to me, and when we all walked out, the girl looked at me and went, You're a professional resume. You go, you're a professional interviewer. And they ended up hiring her and me. Her name was Helen, and then I was in the first class that they hired after like six months, and since I was the oldest, we hired 36 people, and they had two guys. And the first guy left after day two, his parents were having a problem with their business, so he had to leave. So I was the only guy, I was the oldest guy, and I was became the president of the class.

SPEAKER_01 14:12

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:13

And Richard Mao was in a week behind me, and me and him hung out all the time, you know. So that's pretty much how I got into the the airlines. Now, what's interesting about that, you know, in a year and a half of flying, I had everything happen to me. And a no-flap landing in Idaho, which we had foam waiting for us because it was a small runway, right? And Christmas Day I had a guy have a massive coronary and die. And that's the story, you know. And so I wrote that. I don't know if you know this. This is really when you're I was a junior, I've been flying maybe three months. I knew they were gonna fly me on Christmas Day, right? I rented a red Santa Claus outfit for Christmas Eve, and I got my complex to let me have the, you know, rent the whole big room out for a Christmas party. And I went to all the girls and put in flyers, you know, having a Christmas party, Christmas Eve party, and I'm in my Santa Claus outfit. These girls are going, is that you, Tim? I'm going, ho, ho, ho, ho. You're a dirty little Santa. Oh, ho ho ho! You know, pretty soon my pager goes off, and then there's a no-show at the airport, airplane at the airport. And who are they gonna call?

SPEAKER_02 15:29

The ex-marine.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

He'll be there in 30 minutes. He doesn't have to put any makeup on. Call Tim, right? They've been doing it, they did me all the time. So I get out of the Santa Claus outfit, I get there in 30 minutes, and it's one of those that they're all sitting in their seats, they're waiting for a flight attendant to have the regulations to where they can back up, right? Right. So as soon as I get on the plane, they're backing up, and I look around and I'm senior on the plane. And we're going from Dallas to Vegas and we end up in Reno. 11:30 at night. I get off the plane, I wish my mom and dad Merry Christmas. I got 40 bucks in my pocket. I said, Dad, I'm gonna go try this crap game out. You told me your system will try it out. Oh, don't forget the two rules. I know no drinking and no looking at women. Okay. So I went out of there and I tried this thing, and all of a sudden I started winning, and I kept winning and winning and winning. And I ended up playing for eight hours, and I must have said Merry Christmas four or five times, and I didn't do any drinking. And the girl told me I gave her $750 and $5 chips just for orange juice all night long. And then I finally decided I won and I left, and I knocked on the girl, one of the black girls was dating, Tony Dorset at the time. I can't remember her name. But I woke her up and I said, Get up, I'm buying breakfast and none of the 99 cents specials. Anything you want. And I started weaving all, you know, showing them all my cash. And she was rubbing her eyes, waking up, and she went, Top one, we can have ham and eggs. So we get on the plane, you know, it's packed, 120 people. We got turkey we're serving first class. I'm thinking it's not meant to be anybody on Christmas Day, and it's packed. And I'm telling stories, and I haven't even been to bed. I'm jacked up on all this orange juice. This girl, 35-year-old black girl, is holding the hand, the arm of a Caucasian-looking elderly man. It was like she's looking around, going, it's the way she was strutting, almost like going, sugar daddy.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Yeah. Was it Donna Summers?

SPEAKER_00 17:35

No, but nope, but it just looked like that.

SPEAKER_01 17:38

Donna Summers and Clive Owens. Love. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Right. It didn't look like there was a connection of love. It was uh he's taking care of me kind of deal. Right. And they went in the back. And halfway through the flight, I heard Tim come quick, we're having a heart attack. And I go back there, and they got this guy is just sitting in a seat with his head back, and everybody's around him. And I got the girl to get the oxygen, and I pull him out of the ground, and two people that are doctors show me their medical badges. They said we're doctors, they showed me their medical badges.

SPEAKER_02 18:09

They started working on them, and the black girl started going, Lam the motherfucker, lamb the motherfucker, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 18:18

And I'm trying to get her to calm down. All of a sudden, this guy he starts just like shaking, virtually shaking and almost bouncing off the ground. He's coming back. Looking at him, and all of a sudden he just falls dead again.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

And she goes, Let the motherfucker, let the fuck out, let the motherfucker.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

And all of a sudden he started shaking again. No, no, he's coming back. And then he fell dead. And all of a sudden the doctors looked up at me and went, That's just the oxygen blowing out of his body, right? Yeah. So now they both get up and they get they'll go sit down. We're supposed to give him CPR until we land, right? Yeah. Get down the aisle and giving him CPR, and I'm thinking, this is stupid because he's dead, right? So I decided I've done enough of this. And I looked up, and every head in the aisle was looking at me. You could hear him. And I put this guy to the back and put him against the back bathroom, right? Then I moved another woman out of the back and I had a seat over there, put him in the back seat, put his blanket over him, went to the captain and told the captain that two medical doctors have pronounced him dead, so he is not trying to land the plane.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

He's DOA when they land.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

Yeah, so they're calling, they're calling the FBI agents. FBI agents came in when we landed. But now I gotta fill out this sheet, you know. Right. I go back and see this here. I go, what's his name? What's your name? Did he have any symptoms before he got off the plane? Uh so yeah, he had he had pains in his arms. I said, he was having a heart attack before he got on the plane. She goes, I know he wanted to try to make it back to his grandchildren in New Orleans. And she goes, by the way, when he died, he uh um she pointed down he urinated in his seat, and now I'm sitting in my khakis, and I look and I'm like khakis are all black now if I'm sitting in pee. And then we get off the plane, and you know, this is real sad, you know. Right for flying, Brad. Merry Christmas, thank you for flying, Brad. You guys did such a wonderful job. He can be okay. He died.

SPEAKER_01 20:27

And you're saying bye-bye, bye-bye.

SPEAKER_00 20:30

So bye-bye, that's all true, and I put that in the screenplay, right? But one of the things happened that I happened another time that I added for the screenplay. You know how when you had to get to the employee parking lot and you take the uh tram. Tram, right? I got off the tram one time and it was freezing, freezing, sleeking snow that you could barely. I remember that year.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

I know exactly the big freeze, the big sleep.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Go into your car, right? I hear this flight antenna from TWA. She's going, Help, help, help. And I look over, she's taking a suitcase and she's slamming it into the side of her door, trying to break the ice to get the key in so she can get in the car, right? The it's an inch stick of ice, right? So she can't get in the car to get in the car. So I see the dilemma, and I reach over and I grabbed the suitcase, and I I spent 30 minutes trying to break this ice. I had snot and my nose frozen on my lip. My eyebrows were frozen, sweat was frozen. Finally, 30 minutes I got her in. She goes, Thank you, you saved my life. I went, Okay, there you go. Merry, you know, Merry Christmas. I walk around the other side of the car as I'm walking away, and I look, and the other side was completely fine. Ice free.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

Anyway, from from that point, I got based in in LA and I was flying Hong Kong, Singapore, Seoul, Guam, and I was living in Phoenix, right?

SPEAKER_01 22:11

Right.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

And this is one you don't know, it's pretty amazing. They call me up and they go, We got a charter flight, but we want to know if you'll volunteer for it because you're gonna be over your li limitations legality-wise. Right. You know me, okay, I don't care, that's fine. So I'm on this flight, and it's supposed to go from Guam, but they have to stop in Hawaii now and refuel, so it's gonna be 18 hours on duty, right? Yeah, and I found myself when I got to Guam, I could barely I was tired. And I thought if an emergency happened, I wouldn't be really good. So I decided I would never volunteer for any more of those ever again. You know, I made I made a mistake, I thought. Well, we did nine days of being in Guam, Hong Kong, South Korea. All of a sudden, nine days later, we're getting back ready to go to LA. We get that same charter flight. Right now, this time I didn't volunteer. So when I found out that I got it, I told people I was getting off in Hawaii, they better find another flight attendant. And so the girls told the captain. Now the captain wants to talk to me. So you know, 747 and upstairs. Son, sometimes we have to learn to suck it up. And I looked at him and I went, suck it up. I'm a marine, been to Vietnam. I know how to suck it up. I've been sucking it up before, I know how to do that. The problem is, 18 hours, if there was a real problem, I wouldn't be really 100% of doing my job. So I'm getting off in my in Hawaii, and you better find somebody else to replace me, right? As I leave, he goes, We got trouble. We get into Hawaii, he doesn't go to the jetway, he calls ahead and makes the yellow trucks come out and fill us up there, so I can't get off the plane. Now I'm getting back to LA. There's my manager going, Tim, we have to have a talk.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Who was that? Was that was that Ildino Woods or was that Pat?

SPEAKER_00 24:10

I was too mad. I go, you can't talk to me. I was off three hours ago. And by the way, you don't have to talk to me at all. I quit. That's when I quit. That's what made me quit. And then I got out of there, and then I got on with Hawaii Express. I got involved in acting and been doing that ever since.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Well, you know, I was like when they folded that base, I came back out, you know, did they fold LA? Yeah, when they closed LA, right? So they closed LA, Richard, Chad, and I go to San Antonio. But I got hired by Hawaii Express. And I remember you and I were both in that first introductory class, and they kept stalling because they didn't have the plane yet. And they kept saying, we're gonna guys get you through training. We're gonna get ready. And I was living with Denise Hoffman and with a woman named Tara Rosales up near Topanga Canyon, and I was working with Tara's, the lady that had the uh uh apartment with her boyfriend who did landscaping in the hills of LA, swimming pools and waterfalls for 50 bucks a day while I was waiting for Hawaii Express to get up off the ground. And I I couldn't wait any longer. I just said, you know, I gotta fold my cards, I gotta go, I'm leaving. And so I never got on like you did operationally when they started getting to Hawaii Express, because that was like Laker Airlines, Freddie Laker Airlines, London, I think, to what, New York, 99 bucks round trip. You know, it was like the first low-cost carriers that were starting to hit the east and the west coast. So I didn't realize because I remember hanging out with you and Richard when we were staying at Dr. Harry's, you know, we'd be in between trips and you know, we'd be slipping in this condo up at Redondo. I didn't realize that that was the cause of your exit dealing with that 18-hour trip. I always thought that you were like scheduled at the base to hold a line. I didn't realize that you were going through that junior a position out there.

SPEAKER_00 26:23

Well, I didn't think it'd I I put in for it and I didn't think I'd get it because I thought he'd go senior, but all the senior mamas wanted to stay in Dallas with their families, they didn't want to go.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

So I went to junior, and holding a pattern, you know, international pattern after a year and a half of flying is an unheard of at any air on.

SPEAKER_01 26:39

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

And I just started, I had no desire to become an actor, and a guy kept bugging me from college. You gotta go to my acting class, and seven times I said I'd go, and seven times I didn't want to go, so I made an excuse. The eighth time I finally went, and I had never seen dialogue on a piece of paper. And I told the teacher, I said, You don't know me, and I don't know you, but I know I can do that. And I came back the next day, and everybody goes, You're really good. I go, Really? I'm good at acting. Okay, I'll give it a shot.

SPEAKER_01 27:05

If I don't get out, so and just so people, just for the audience out there, just how many films have you have you been an actor in?

SPEAKER_00 27:19

I don't know. I got 75 IMDB credits. That's okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:23

You got 75. That's a whole lot. And those are feature films.

SPEAKER_00 27:29

Well, some of them are really big films and some of them are not, you know. That's why I never got married to have no children. My films are my children, you know. Right. As an actor, you never know where you're gonna get your next paycheck. It was that's what was so great about Hawaii Express. We only did fly seven days a month. We filmed from LAX to Hawaii an hour lay over and came right back. So it was a long ass day, but it was perfect for me because I never was missing my auditions. Yeah, I was back in L the next day. And that's how I lived off of that for a year and a half. Then I landed some really pretty good commercials. Right commercials. I did a Super Bowl commercial, I did one for the Olympics back then, I did a Frost and Mini Weeks commercial, but I wanted to do film and nobody would hire me because I never did a film. And that's when I sent Stanley Kubrick uh a demo tape of me yelling like a drill instructor, and 7,000 tapes later, and three years later, they cast me to be the drill instructor in Full Metal Jacket. We just saw the documentary they're doing on me and what I went through on that film. And to go really quickly, I had the role for eight months. They took it away, gave it the technical advisor. Three days after filming him, he had a tree almost died. They gave me back the role. Insurance company waited a week from the heel. Said, wait, you're gonna start with him. They waited seven months from the heel. While he's healing, they decided to cut the door gunner roll out of the movie. Now I'm not in the movie at all. Wow. Two months after the movie was wrapped, they brought me back and I shot the scene, and he got starring credit, and I'm only in that movie three minutes, but it became one of the most memorable scenes in the movie.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Oh, yeah, yeah. Everybody I I could talk to anybody about Full Metal Jacket, and I could bring up that scene, and everyone can quote it verbatim. They can describe it in great detail. You know, that's how intense your personality, and certainly the role that you played as that gunner on that chopper was to people.

SPEAKER_00 29:19

Because I played it in the documentary, and you'll see I I had plenty of time to figure out how I wanted to play the role. One of the lines that they cut out was, I sure do like shooting people. So I thought I'll play the role like that, you know. Right. And I played all these laughs out, and as soon as Kubrick, he was afraid to fly. So as soon as he I would do the scene, I would come down in this little outhouse 278 miles northeast of London, called Norfolk, England, middle of nowhere. And we'd go in there and he'd look at what I filmed, and he'd give me direction, I'd go back and shoot it again. Well, he looks at me and he goes, Tim, don't laugh like that anymore. Give me an everyday killer smile. And I walked around the helicopter and I came back and I go, You think I know what an everyday killer smile is just because I was a Marine went to Vietnam? He goes, Don't worry about that, just go shoot the weapon and get used to the weapon up there. So I started shooting the weapon, and I told him I wanted to talk. And I did the scene without any laughing, just kind of a smirk.

SPEAKER_02 30:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:16

I got the plane and I said, Stanley, I'm almost 99% sure I did exactly what you wanted me to do. And he looked at it and went, Good Tim, good Tim, go up and do it 13 more times, just like that. And then I went home a year later, they edited edited the film, and the movie came out, and I got a phone call from Warner Brothers saying he had a hell of a time putting all my his my original laughs back in when he wasn't even on the set. And they said they love the role of the door gunner. So it's funny how you know I did that story's a lot, lot longer. I'll just give you the condensed version of it. Right, right. Which is amazing. First of all, can you imagine seeing all those flight attendants holding up the name when we got off the plane? Right? When I got off the plane in Landy, some guy was holding my name and he was my driver. And he said, give me a bunch of money and a pager. And the first place he took me to, my pager went off and said, Tim, learn pages one through 28 by tomorrow morning. Driver will pick you up at seven. Stanley. He took me to the hotel room and I'm just yelling at nobody. And the maids are laughing at me, thinking I'm crazy. So with Stanley, he goes, Is everything all right? Well, sir, I'm in the hella, I'm in, you know, I'm in the hotel room yelling at nobody, and they think I'm crazy. Let's find me another place to live. And they found me a place who was right underneath Michael Bean, who was filming Aliens.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:40

And Stanley didn't want me around the rest of the crew because he wanted to be the medicine drill instructor. So I'm going to Pinewood Studio on my days off with Michael Bean, meeting James Cameron and Sigourney Weaver and Bill Paxton. These are all my friends, and I wasn't even in their movie.

SPEAKER_02 31:55

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 31:55

But at that time they were almost envious of me starring in Stanley Cooper's show and having the best role of the film. So when I lost that role, Sigorney Weaver cried.

SPEAKER_01 32:05

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 32:06

And I was hanging around them, you know, they knew how big that was.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

So when he passed away four years ago, whatever, I started doing a one-man show, and I've been doing it, you know, I've done 13 shows now where I'd come in as a drill instructor yelling at the uh audience. Yeah, audience. And then and then, like seven, I think it was 17 years later, I got cast on the show called Weeds. You remember that show?

SPEAKER_01 32:33

Yeah, I do. I do.

SPEAKER_00 32:35

And I was a drill instructor. I'll do the scene. Watch this, this is good. Alright, listen up. It's my sorry ass job to inform you, ass Felton Salad Tossin. Come, gozzily, faggots. And that buddy face you're staring at right now, it's one of the most important goddamn faces you ever lay your eyes upon. That is your battle buddy. Battle buddy is like a sign means weird. He shits, you shit. He bucks up, you fuck up. He goes down, you go down. Six weeks from today, this entire group of Girl Scouts will be shipped over to Iraq. Make no mistake about it. I will write each and every one of you before you will go. So you must pay perfect attention if a goddamn word comes out of my godly mouth. I look at the eye and go, that's a tough line. Excuse me, Sergeant Filko, who in the hell gave you permission to break rank on my formation? You flaccid little dick. They told me I was gonna get a desk job. They tell everybody you're gonna get a desk job, you useless twat. But I have eight toes. I got four dicks. You better fall back in line before you're willing to fuck up your ass. That's some good dialogue, you know.

SPEAKER_01 33:54

Nobody could deliver better than you, man. So look, we're gonna wrap this interview here. We're gonna come back and we're gonna revisit Tim Colsari on another episode of the Brand of Chronicles. Uh, and then that next episode, I'd like to talk about layovers. I'd like to talk about in-flight experiences on the 747s. And um thank you for your time today.

SPEAKER_00 34:19

You know, I'd like to I'd like to maybe somehow if they send an email, anybody wants to read the Bradeth movie I wrote, the on the fly, which was a lot of that story I said. If they're interested, I'll send it to them.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Well, you know what? When I when I post this podcast, there's a description, and just text me that information and I can embed it in the podcast.

SPEAKER_00 34:42

You can do it, do whatever you want with it.

SPEAKER_01 34:44

Yeah, but I'll get it, but everyone will get it. Everyone will, when they go to the podcast, so for the audience out there, ex-Braniff flight attendants and anyone employed with Braniff, um, when I post the podcast with Tim Colsari, you will see under the description the link that he's talking about. Thank you for joining us. We will chat with you again soon, Tim. Take care. One flight, one crew, one way over.