1: When God Entered the Chat

In the premiere episode of the Miracle Path podcast, co-hosts Kylie and Julie explore their evolving personal relationships with the divine. Both women reflect on growing up in the Catholic Church, noting that their early religious experiences often felt like empty routines lacking genuine spiritual connection. Julie discusses her transition from using external tools like crystals and manifestation to finding peace through total surrender to God during a period of depression. Kylie shares a transformative story regarding her journey to sobriety, describing a miraculous moment where her cravings for alcohol were removed after she sought prayer and practiced radical honesty. Ultimately, the hosts emphasize that there are many paths to a higher power and encourage listeners to open their hearts to a meaningful spiritual life.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Welcome to the Miracle Path Podcast. I'm your host, Kylie, and I'm with my gorgeous co-h co-host Julie. Hi. We're so happy to be here. Um, this is our first podcast episode.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

I know. I'm so excited. Yeah. Excited to get into it of like taking everything. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:28

So we were thinking the first episode, we want to be super candid and share about our personal experience, starting with our childhood.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

Um, and the big topic of this whole podcast is our relationship with the divine, um, whether you call it spirit, Mother Earth, God. Um it's just the relationship with with that creation. And um yeah, if you want to kick us off with just your childhood and how God was presented to you. Um yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:15

Well, before I do, I do want to piggyback off of what you just mentioned because this is our first episode, and we are going to be getting into higher power, God, and you already mentioned Kylie, whatever that is for our listeners, right? Because we recognize, especially in this podcast, that you know, God can be a trigger word, you know, that can be triggering for some people. So, you know, as we start this journey, I want to make sure that everybody who is taking the time to hear our stories knows that for us personally, we use the terms God and we'll use Jesus and Holy Spirit. But in the end, it's all it's a higher power. It's something beyond ourselves that we know is full of love. And so, whatever that is for you, if for right now that is God, or it's for um, or it's something else, it's the universe, it's mother nature. Um, I just want to make sure we do say that right at the start, because uh Kylie and I, and hopefully whoever's listening to us, we are so open to all of the different beliefs that people have when it comes to having a higher power in your life and sharing that with other people. So, yeah, so I think it's just super exciting. But on that note, I agree, let's start right at childhood.

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yeah, no, thanks for where it all began.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah, I don't know if you wanted to add anything to that, but no, that was perfect. Just so excited for us to get to kind of share. So, you know, as we're thinking about, you know, when did God enter the chat or when did he make his presence in your life known? For me, I grew up very religious, which uh I can look back now, thankfully, and and see all the positives that that gave me as I was becoming a young woman. So I grew up with God from day one. Crosses in the house, pictures of Jesus on the wall, going to church every Sunday. I did grow up in the Catholic Church, so that was really important for my family. Did the whole CCD thing, went to public school, but did the whole CCD thing, learned all about the saints, the prayers. I had to memorize my prayers, you know, when I was in second grade before communion, had to be tested on them, make sure I knew all the words. Um, so that was me growing up. That was that was my relationship to God. And it's so funny because earlier this year I did write a reflection kind of on what the Catholic Church and the Catholic faith meant to me. And I just recently read it. And when I was a child, I was really thankful for my Catholic faith, which is like very interesting because I was glad that I had God in my life, but um, you know, all it was was like uh something I did. There was no meaning behind it, it was just prayers that I said, it was just going to church, it was just saying these words that oftentimes I didn't know what they meant, and that was God. Like there was no deep meaning behind it. I was thankful to have it in my life. It gave me a routine, but but really it was just something I did, you know what I mean? So that was kind of uh how I grew up with God. It was you go to church, you say your prayers, and you're good. You don't have to do anything beyond that. So um, so yeah, so for me growing up, I knew God, but I don't think I really knew God.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Does that make sense? Totally, yeah. When you say empty words, I mean I understand that. And uh no, I think that's so interesting because I did you have anything you wanted to add to that?

SPEAKER_02 5:58

No, I mean, I wonder if I'm sure there's many people who feel similarly to me, especially because you know, as we start to like, as you get older, is like, oh, you got all this guilt about like oh going to church, saying prayers. Because it wasn't it wasn't me. I wasn't choosing it. I never chose any of that. It was just like that was just what we did, that was what I was forced to do, and it wasn't like I was forced, like, you know, I I had to do it, but it was just a part of what I did. There was nothing deeper, I guess, which is really an interesting thought. So, yeah, that's all I wanted to add.

SPEAKER_00 6:48

Yeah, and sorry about the background noise, y'all. Um, my cat is very obnoxious sometimes. So I didn't hear anything. Okay, good. Um no, but I appreciate that share. Um, I also grew up in the Catholic Church, however, it was like checking a box. And when we went home, it was there was no conversation about God ever. Like it was, I totally disassociated from it. It was not interesting to me. Um, it just wasn't something important to me at all. And I think that when I reflect, it's I was I lived a pr I've had a great childhood. And there wasn't I was so focused with sports that I didn't it was like really all I thought about, and I didn't need a higher power. So that was like a huge chunk of my childhood was that I would just have to go to CCD. Right. Um, and that was it. Didn't don't remember any of that stuff. Um, my great grandma loved her to death. She would talk about angels to me, and so I think that was when I first started realizing that there is something unseen that interacts, and so I think angels were like that was something that interests me, but like I said, I wasn't I wasn't interested in it, so right, so yeah, my childhood was just there was no um I didn't feel pressured though at all. So there was this like openness to discover it in my own way, um and so I'm really grateful for for that. And so I've been able to create my own traditions now, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:04

And I love that you said you didn't need it, you know, you felt like you didn't need it because no one ever probably shared beside your you said your grandma with the angels, no one ever really shared the beauty that comes from having a relationship with God with you, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah, it was so um, yeah, it just wasn't that important, but I knew there was this knowing. You knew there was something.

SPEAKER_02 9:32

Oh, yeah, yeah. And I mean, from my perspective, I honestly feel like we have a similar experience, but different, because in my perspective, I was told I needed God. You know, like I was being told I needed to go to mass and to get communion and to go to confession to tell my sins, to be forgiven, to have a clean heart, to go to heaven, to get all these things. But see, I never chose it for myself. I was always told to do those things. Um, so it's like similar in the way that you know, we just didn't feel this need to create a deeper relationship. It just wasn't a part of our growing up.

SPEAKER_00 10:27

Yeah, yeah. No, okay, so you are about to be a mom.

unknown 10:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

I am yes, very soon, you all. Secrets out.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

When are you due? I am due in three-ish weeks, two and a half, on January 29th, 2026. A baby brain.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

First time mom. First time mom, so special. I'm so excited. I'm really excited hear your journey about that. But I was curious, like, have you thought about how you are going to tell your daughter about God?

SPEAKER_02 11:11

I don't know that I want to tell her about God. That's my answer. I don't think I'm going to tell her all these things. I almost want to show her. I want her to experience God in a way that's meaningful. Because, like I said before, because we were so religious, and it's not like I regret anything that happened in my childhood, or like I said, I really did like having the routine of going to church, having a faith-filled childhood, knowing that there was a God when I was growing up was important to me. But there was just no meaning behind it. And sometimes I would express to my mom how struck you know how much struggles I had. And she'd say, Give it to God, Julie, give it to God. And I did not know what that meant. I didn't know what it meant to give it to God. And I'm like, Okay, thanks. Like, that's not really the advice I wanted, but sure, I'll try. So I want my daughter to be able to know God in a way where she can lean on him, she can have that faith that's more meaningful than just going to church, than just you know, doing what we're told to do. So I hope I can show her. I hope I can show her what it means to truly have a relationship with God just by being a mom, just by being, you know, being me, you know, and if and if she attaches to that and she loves it, great. If she doesn't, that's okay. She might need to go her own path.

SPEAKER_00 13:06

Yeah. That's so beautiful. That's a good question. I loved that. I love your answer. I couldn't have answered that better. So I'm gonna steal that one day, maybe we'll see.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Please. Oh, whoa, okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

So, um, my question to you is you mentioned it didn't have a ton of meaning in the beginning. So now that we're at a certain age and the journey here, when did God enter the chat for you?

SPEAKER_02 13:45

And I love this question so much. Um I think this is something that we both have a different experience with, even if our growing up was, you know, we kind of knew God a little bit. Because when you were talking about your lack of a need for God, that's where I was in my early 20s as I started getting into adulthood. And I really relished in the fact that nobody was forcing me to go to mass anymore, nobody was forcing me to have a relationship with God. Sometimes I would continue to go to mass, but it was really based on this idea of like guilt. Like I'm I should be going to mass, I should be doing these things. But that was as far as I took it. I would maybe go to mass as an adult, and that's it. You know, I would come home with a bulletin and call it a day. There was no nothing extra. So it was really funny a few years ago when I felt a little bit of a need for searching, something beyond myself, a little bit of depression, pain, wanting something more for myself. That I started to think, okay, like there's got to be something bigger out there. There has to be something more for me. And you would think, okay, you look to God, right? No, I did not look to God. I looked to crystals, meditation, manifesting, um, you know, listening to people who have a connection to the universe and and these ideas that there is something beyond what we see in reality and knowing that, but never connecting it to my faith, ever. Never connecting it to God, thinking it was separate. And I think for a long time I decided that I didn't really need God, like you said, I was okay, I could figure it out on my own. There was almost a fear there, thinking like, if I really give everything over to God, you know, like nothing's gonna come from it. But after I did the whole trying to reshape my life and and look for crystals that'll help me, and look for manifestations that'll help me, and they did, they helped me in the in the short term.

SPEAKER_00 16:28

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:28

But what I realized was that it wasn't enough for me, and that was the biggest point because I hit a really big wall, probably at the end of last year, where I got really depressed, and um, I was being very hard on myself, I was being very negative toward myself. I was doing all these things that made me feel absolutely terrible. And I love you, Kylie, because this is where I really truly feel like God entered the chat was through you. You were my angel. And I laugh so hard because I remember feeling so in the depths of depression, and a lot of this stemmed from starting a new job, not feeling good enough, you know, the whole imposter syndrome. But I remember talking to you and telling you how much how I was feeling, and you saying, like, I think you need to pray. I think you need to pray to God. And I remember thinking, like, Kylie, I am praying, I'm saying the Our Father 10 times a day. I'm saying my Hail Mary's, I'm doing what I've been taught to do. I'm I'm saying, you know, these prayers, but none of it meant anything to me. So so at that point, obviously there was some more soul searching, but God truly entered the chat for me when I surrendered myself to Him. And when I said, I give it all over to you, God. There's nothing that I want to be in control of anymore. I know you love me. I know I'm a child of God, and I fully surrendered my heart and my life, and at that point, I feel like I felt my heart opening, and I felt like there was a way out of my depression. I felt like there was so much beauty in my life that I hadn't felt for months, and it was just such a relief. So for me, I really had to decide to form a relationship with God beyond our fathers, Hail Mary's, going to Mass, and really look deeply at my relationship with him and what it meant to me. And so that's when God entered the chat for me. For real, yeah, he was there, he was like, you know, I wonder what's a good analogy. He was in the background, but I had been like ignoring his texts, but then finally I called him, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:31

It's like we take one step and then the creator takes like five steps towards how beauty is that like all beautiful, like we all we have to do is open the door, right? It's it's that willingness right there, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:47

So yeah, so that's how um I I feel now. Obviously, it's a journey though, right? It's a journey, not all not all of this happens linear or super quick, it's like a up and down roller coaster, you know.

SPEAKER_00 20:06

So yeah, I love that. Thank you so much for sharing.

SPEAKER_02 20:09

Thank you. And I'm really wondering when did God enter the chat for you, Kylie? When when did he make his appearance?

SPEAKER_00 20:18

So I would say the first time when I felt something. Um, it was through so much pain. It was like I didn't know it was God, I didn't know it was the Holy Spirit that was saying, wake the hell up. Um, I had so it was actually literally five years ago, um, almost like to this day. And I had a, I was drinking a lot, um, and I had this um altercation with a family member that I love, deeply respect. And we were drinking, it got really heated. Um, you know, I'll spare the details because the details don't really matter, but I put my hands on this person that I love. Um, and as soon as I did that, it's like I woke up. It was like I realized what I was doing at that moment right after I did that. And I remember just being mortified, um, so full of shame. Um, because it was like this isn't me. This is not who I am. Um, and so I ended up that night, I drove all the way back home from Chicago to Louisville, middle of the night. It was crazy though. Like I should not have been behind the wheel, but I was so sober. Like I was just overwhelmed with like the reality of what happened. And so I get home and I couldn't sleep for like two days. Um, the reality was that there's something going on and it's time for a change. And that's when I started therapy. And through that process, I love hearing that. Yeah. I mean, it was life-saving, life-saving. Um, through that process, like it was a long journey, and there was still no conversation about God and my um faith. I was like, yeah, of course, like I believe in something. Like that's but that was me being true. Like I felt something, I just didn't have a relationship to that. And in the midst of therapy, I also realized that I was abusing alcohol. And I was using it to cope with my childhood and my past. And um God really entered the chat. So this was like a three-year journey of me being like, crap, like, I don't think alcohol is for me. Um, this isn't working for me. And I remember at the the worst, like at the height of me drinking, it was because I was I had so much anxiety, and um, there was just a lot going on in my life. And I was working at a restaurant, I was working like three jobs, like for no reason. Like I didn't need the money, but I just felt like I just didn't know what I was doing really. Um, I was not that I was unconscious, but um I just knew that I needed help. And this this guy, um, I was serving a table and it was his family, and he was on like a mission trip and he was from a different country, and he was like, You were so amazing, like, you know, how can we pray for you? And it stopped me right in my tracks. And it uh I was like, Oh, I don't know, how can you pray for me? And so I was like, I don't know, like strength, hope. And he was like, Okay. And so he did that. And and then as he was leaving, I heard a voice in my head, and it was it sounded like my voice, but it was something that was so direct and loving, and was like, you should go tell him the truth. And so I said, Okay. So I walked up to him and I was like, Hey, um, I lied. I'm struggling with alcohol, I can't stop, I'm scared, I want to change and I need help. And he was like, no problem. He was like, Can I pray with you? And I said, Absolutely. Um I barely remember the prayer, it didn't really matter, but my heart was open for it. And several months later, um, things started changing in ways that I can't explain. But I had an instant um knowing and feeling when my alcohol cravings was like completely removed from me in an instant. That's when God entered the chat for me because I could not understand how this can happen. I would drive past uh this liquor store that I would stop by and I had no emotional, no physical, no attachment at all. And it was the trippiest thing. And so I would just like sit in that and just be like, this is not of me. This was outside of me. Something was removed from me that was taking my life force from me slowly but surely. And um, and ever since, I mean, I'm almost well, I'm two and a half years sober, have not picked up since have zero cravings. Beautiful. And I think that it was it was that collective prayer that um it, I, you know, like you said, you have to open the door, you have to do it. You it's if you want it, right? Right, but you have to do it with your heart, yeah. And I was in so much pain that I felt like I have nothing to lose because the way I was living my life was not working.

SPEAKER_02 27:22

Yeah, yeah. Every time you tell me that story, I always feel I did not cry this time, which I'm surprised because being pregnant, it's very easy to cry. But I always get the chills, I always feel emotionally just overwhelmed when you tell me that you went back to the guy and you told him what was going on with you. That probably required so much strength. And I just it just gives me the chills. I just love it every time when you tell me that part. And then to say that you feel like God took it out of you, you know, there's we aren't inherently bad people. We are God, God made us perfect. We are children of God. He has the power to take that out of us because that's not who we are. Addiction, depression, whatever it is. It's not us, it's not what he wants for us. And he can remove it if you, like you said, open the door. And wow, I just love when you tell that story.

SPEAKER_00 28:40

No, thank, thanks so much. And yeah, it's just uh I've I've told a lot of people that though, too. Like I've I've practiced it a lot, that story, just because it's it's it's like when it's good, it's a great story, yeah. And it's and it's when my life started, like when yeah, I was able to become the person that I'm becoming today, because it was like a total shattering identity shatter, and I'm like, I thought I was this, and I would do like things that used to I enjoyed, and when I would do those things, it just like wouldn't feel the same anymore. And I was just like, what the hell do I like? I don't know. Like it was it was it was really hard, it was really hard, and there's more to that, but we'll save it for the following episodes.

SPEAKER_02 29:39

Like yeah, and like we said, it's not we are definitely here speaking with each other on this platform because we feel like we want to share our stories, but knowing that our stories, first off, are not over, right? We're still evolving and changing, we're still on this journey, but also like we've come a long way. We've we've we've been through certain things that have shaped us where we are right now. So it's it's not like I said before, it's not like um, oh, we're we're just just do this and and you're good, you know, like just accept God into your heart and you're good. Yeah, right. Just just get down on your knees and and surrender to to the Lord and and you're set. No, there's no one right way to God, there's no one right journey to the Holy Spirit. Everybody's is different. And I love yours because I love how you said it started on that night with your family member. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

There's so much pain, pain, suffering, yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah, and and you know, um, it's so true about you know, there's so many different paths, and that like is so true because you mentioned like the crystals, and like I like that too.

SPEAKER_02 31:03

Like, I still like crystals, don't get me wrong.

SPEAKER_00 31:07

Yeah, and you know, there's there's not a certain way, like it's it's all so personalized, and like we're gonna talk about a course in miracles on this on this podcast and how that has shaped the way we operate in the world. Um so yeah, I'm really excited. I'm really excited.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

I am so excited, and this is where we are. So if anyone listening here too wants to think about it, part of this conversation stemmed from this idea that God will meet you right where you are, you know, um, He knows the direct way to you. The only thing you have to do is open your heart, and whatever that may be, and knowing that there's always a possibility to open yourself up to a higher power, to God, to Jesus, to whatever it may be. Uh and just knowing that, you know, there's only true joy and happiness on the other side. Right, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:18

I think it really is. That's that's the thing. It's like I am the happiest I've ever been. Period.

SPEAKER_02 32:24

I love hearing that. I love hearing that. Amen.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

Yeah, but but you know, it's there's you know, it's five years in the making and we're we're just getting started too. Right. So it's it's exciting.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Um I do have a question for you. I forgot. I do have a question for you.

SPEAKER_00 32:40

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

Because I'm wondering too if any of our listeners are maybe struggling with alcohol or um, you know, any other kind of drug, and are maybe wanting to have that relationship with God, but maybe feeling like there's that peace is blocking for them. You know, you had a you had a fantastic experience where you felt as though God took it away from you, took away that craving.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:09

Other people might not feel that way. So, what would you say to someone? And I know I didn't tell you this question in advance, but what would you say to somebody who thinks, you know, I'm struggling too with that? And I do want a relationship with God, though. What could you say with to them who, you know, maybe they feel that block still?

SPEAKER_00 33:31

Yeah. Yeah. If if somebody um like myself that struggled with addiction in any form with, you know, using a substance, um, you know, you seek support, you're gonna want to seek community, um, and and realize that you're not alone. And you just have to come to a place and accept that whatever substance you're using, um like I'm assuming that there's enough data there to show you that this isn't working for you. Um so you have to come to a place where you accept that like the substance doesn't work for you. And at the end of the day, like these drugs, they're poison. Like our bodies weren't designed for poison. And um, you know, frame it how you want, but but yeah, it it's coming to the acceptance that you want to change, and you have to be radically honest. Um, and the relationship part is just the willingness is to start, um, be open to it, and then it's going to manifest something that that just like changes your life. But it's it's it is that acceptance, radical honesty, and openness.

SPEAKER_02 34:56

And um, that was a beautiful answer. No, I love that question. I love that radical honesty, you know. If we want to be honest with our higher power, like we've got to get honest with ourselves first. Facts.

SPEAKER_00 35:13

Right. Right. I mean, the sooner you come to acceptance, I think the better. Like I agree, you know. So, but uh, I love that. But um, do you you have any more questions or we wrap it up?

SPEAKER_02 35:26

That was my only question, but thank you for sharing. I just feel like you're so beautiful, and I hope some of the things that we shared today were maybe helpful to anybody who listens.

SPEAKER_00 35:38

Uh, thank you so much. Um, yeah, we'll wrap this up. But thank you for listening to our first freaking episode on the Miracle Path Podcast. Um, yeah, and if you like what you heard, leave us a five-star review. Um, if there's some loving constructive criticism, we'll take it, but send us an email. Please. At first, right. So um, but yeah, I mean, we want to grow um and learn and be open. So thank you so much for um the love. And we look forward to seeing you next week and peace be with you.

SPEAKER_02 36:24

Amen.

SPEAKER_00 36:25

Amen. Love you, God bless.