The DNA Test Showed Me More Than I Expected

In 2017, I took an ancestry DNA test expecting no surprises.

I was wrong.

What began as simple curiosity became a journey of discovery — one that led me to a tiny island in the Dutch Caribbean where my grandfather was born, to relatives I never knew existed, to birth records dating back to the late 1800s, knowledge of great-great grandparents and ultimately to a life-changing realization.

Along the way, I stopped seeing strangers the way I always had.

Instead of focusing only on what made us different, I began to wonder how we might be connected. It changed the way I see people — and the way I see myself.

This is not a political conversation.

It is a deeply personal one.

It is about what happened when one unexpected discovery expanded my understanding of family, identity, ancestry, and belonging. It is about letting go of the limits I had accepted and embracing a world that turned out to be far bigger, and far more connected, than I had ever imagined.

And ultimately, it is about what it felt like to finally find my place in the world.

Written reflections are available at theebigswing.com/reflections.

This episode is also paired with the original companion song I Took A DNA Test, performed by Carmona Sol.

The episode tells the story.
The reflection goes deeper.
The song carries the feeling.

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THEE BIG SWING with Lloyd Hassell

There's a version of you that existed before something shifted - before a conversation, a decision, a thing you almost didn't say. You don't always recognize the moment it happened. You just notice, later, that you're not who you were.

This is a reflective podcast about those moments: the emotional reckonings and subtle internal recalibrations that change our trajectory over time - and the possibilities still available in life.

Each episode explores what happens when curiosity, courage, accountability, or reflection opens a new way of seeing ourselves and the world.

Through personal reflections and conversations, Lloyd explores changing identities, relationships, self-trust, and the quiet decisions that alter how we see ourselves over time.

This is for people who are quietly realizing they are not the same person anymore - and that there are still choices left.

The biggest swing isn't always dramatic.

Often, it's the shift inside that changes everything.

If something here stayed with you, you can reach me at lloyd@theebigswing.com

Transcript

Speaker 0:01

Welcome to the big swing where everyone has an opportunity to learn. Hello everyone. This morning was a peaceful and reflective morning. I want to share a big swing that I underwent several years ago. It was about 2017 or so, and I decided to take my ancestry DNA test. At that time, I was in that frame of mind to find out more about who I came from. Took the exam, and when I received the results, I was surprised because I came across people who I had thought we had major differences with. That's where the integration came in. I couldn't deny what I was made of. I had actually joked with a very good friend before taking the exam that I didn't expect any surprises because clearly I knew what I was. But when I saw the results, I realized that I didn't. So, you know, biology has a way of making things very plain. And that's what happened in my case. Just my realization. There was a certain sense of, well, it's time to free up my mind now. And there was a great interest in going to meet various relatives that I was unaware of before taking the test. I had thought I had, you know, come from or what equal to a small band of people based on my last name. I hadn't known many of us growing up, and then I discovered there were a lot of us and a lot of relatives with different names, but we were all connected. And we looked different. And that was cool with me, and I wanted to meet people. And I set out on some travels to different countries and different islands, and I really enjoyed that because I have a curiosity about travel anyway. And um I was able to do some research into my lineage and go back three generations or so, or at least to my second great-grandparents on each side. And that was gratifying. I went uh one place in particular that struck me was going to my father's birthplace. It's a small island in Dutch Caribbean near St. Martin, and it's called Saba. It's spelled S-A-B-A. That small island, from what I read, never had a large population of people. It's a really different type of island because people lived way upward from sea level on higher ground, and the whole thing is basically straight up from the from there isn't even a beach there, just a small place to land, a boat craft, and that's where we landed. But everyone lives up high. And when you're on the island, because you're so high, you're actually looking way down at the sea. It was a bit different. Well, in any event, I went there and I met relatives. Most of the relatives I met didn't look like me or nor did I look like them. And I felt a certain connection with the earth there, knowing that my grandfather and his parents had been there, and I wondered if I had traveled some of the same paths that they did on the island. And one other thing, um, I was able to get a copy of his birth certificate from the late 1800s from the administrative office on the island, so that was cool. And going there led me to go to other places to meet other relatives, Bermuda and Florida. And all of it was eye-opening, and I made some connections that I would not have made prior. And it gave me a sense of a greater belonging, like a global belonging, right? I saw all of these connections, and while I was on that small island, I realized that because there were so few people in population there over the centuries, that everyone created like a really intricate network of family ties. And I grew up in New York City, and then I realized many of those people had wound up in New York as well. And it led me to the realization of relatives on other islands that I had never considered. The point of all of that is that I had decided, as a result of those experiences, to open up and think about how I had felt previously. And I had to shed some limits or what felt like outwardly imposed limits on me previously. And I decided I no longer would be constrained by them that it was time to take my place in the world wherever I wanted to go or felt comfortable. And one other really profound thing that happened to me was I began to think when I saw people on the street that I didn't know, I would think that person could be a relative. So rather than look at them or put them in a filter I had previously, I think I'll just start to realize the larger connection of all people. I wanted to share this because for me it was an experience of growth and expanding my mind and expanding my world and releasing inner struggles. And again, never did I relinquish my culture or my cultures, which are really, from what I know from the most recent generations, they were in the Caribbean. But I know my greater culture came from further beyond previously. I didn't eliminate those or let go of those, because those have always been important to me. I found that the biggest reward I got out of that experience of taking that test and then writing emails to relatives and talking with them on the phone and emailing and visiting people here in the States and in different countries or different and/or different islands. Found it to be super gratifying. It was one of the best experiences that I've ever encountered. That's why I call it a big swing. I could have stayed in my own little shell and maintained what I knew. But I wanted to reach out, and as a result, I gained far more than I ever imagined I would before I took the test. Taking a big swing is all about reaching and finding out what happens.