He Was Sleeping In His Car

Two years ago, my son was sleeping in his car in Los Angeles — working 80 hours a week, barely showering, and just trying to survive.

Today, he is in a different place.

Not perfect. Not finished. But clearer.

In this episode of THEE BIG SWING, we sit down as father and son and talk honestly about what changed — and what did not.

This is not really about trading.

It is about discipline, frustration, identity, accountability, and the moment you are forced to look at yourself and decide who you are going to become.

We talk about survival, hard choices, emotional pressure, and the quiet work of rebuilding your life from a place that once felt impossible.

Because sometimes the shift does not happen all at once.

It happens quietly.

And then everything feels different.

For more episodes and reflections from THEE BIG SWING, visit theebigswing.com.

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THEE BIG SWING with Lloyd Hassell

There's a version of you that existed before something shifted - before a conversation, a decision, a thing you almost didn't say. You don't always recognize the moment it happened. You just notice, later, that you're not who you were.

This is a reflective podcast about those moments: the emotional reckonings and subtle internal recalibrations that change our trajectory over time - and the possibilities still available in life.

Each episode explores what happens when curiosity, courage, accountability, or reflection opens a new way of seeing ourselves and the world.

Through personal reflections and conversations, Lloyd explores changing identities, relationships, self-trust, and the quiet decisions that alter how we see ourselves over time.

This is for people who are quietly realizing they are not the same person anymore - and that there are still choices left.

The biggest swing isn't always dramatic.

Often, it's the shift inside that changes everything.

If something here stayed with you, you can reach me at lloyd@theebigswing.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Welcome to the big swing where everyone has an opportunity to learn. Two years ago, my son was sleeping in his car in Los Angeles, working 80 hours a week, just trying to figure it out. Today, he's in a different place. Not perfect, not finished, but clear. This isn't a conversation about trading. It's a conversation about what changes when you decide not to stay where you are. This is the big swing. So here's the deal. You and I are certainly close enough to have a real conversation because we're father and son. And today, I was so grateful that you called about where you're at and what you're doing. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_01 1:05

Right now, today I feel like I have plateaued. It was down for a minute there, and then I bought the bottom and it spiked up. And then now I'm plateauing for another spike up.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Are you talking about in life? Because this morning we began talking about trading. I was just using that kind of concept.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

I feel like it was down for a minute, bottom at the bottom, got the bottom filled up, went up, and now I'm plateauing for another leg higher.

SPEAKER_00 1:38

That's beautiful. And you haven't even reached 30 yet, have you? No, I'm two years shy, so not too far. Okay. So I recall a couple of years ago I brought this trading thing to you.

SPEAKER_01 1:52

Yes. Yeah, you did.

SPEAKER_00 1:54

And I was excited about it. I wanted to share it with you because you're my son and I wanted you to have a vehicle that you could use for the rest of your life. When I brought that to you, where were you? And what was your thinking?

SPEAKER_01 2:11

So when you brought up training to me, I was sleeping in my car in California in LA. Wow. After moving out with my brother and my best friend at the time, and we all had split up, not on bad terms, but we just split up. And then I was sleeping in my car, picked up a security job, uh, saved up some good money, and I was planning on moving to Florida to be with my son.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

I remember.

SPEAKER_01 2:39

When you had brought up training, that that's what I was doing. That's why I was. My mindset was on making more money. So when you brought it up, of course, I was interested in it. So that's how that started.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

You know what's interesting is that you were living in your car. That alone has to be, I would imagine, some challenge because I've never lived in my car. I've stayed in my vehicle a night or two. And that's a whole nother story. But living in it is something. So when I bring you this kit.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

It was a challenge. It was a challenge. I would shower like, and this is real personal. I'm gonna tell you the truth, man. I would shower probably like twice a week. All because I was working like 80 hour weeks, because the job in Uber. So a shower to me was all the way across town because I would shower like in a luxury hotel just so I can make sure that it wasn't like uh um, you know, it was clean.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

It wasn't janky.

SPEAKER_01 3:41

It was a gym in a luxury hotel, the intercontinental hotel downtown LA.

SPEAKER_00 3:45

Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:46

Um, I would go and sneak up there, and so I had to go a certain time of the day. And then they had a shower in there, they had their own soaps, own towels. It was very nice. I just take advantage of that. But getting across town, if anyone knows LA traffic and just knowing how I could take your day away, I had to limit that. So it was just crazy.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

I didn't realize that. Wow. Because I'm not dealt with LA traffic. So living in your car, finding an opportune place to shower twice a week, and someone, in this case, your father's talking to you about trading. I would imagine some people would say, Hey, no way, man. Do you know where my life is right now? I can't see that. I can't, I can't conceptualize what you're talking about. Or if I can, I can't certainly even think I could do that given my circumstances. What was different about you?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

I had already liked fast money. So if you come to me talking about fast money, I'm gonna figure it out. This is money fast and legal and every day. So I was like, you you already had me sold on it at that point. So that was what's different with me. I don't like the conventional job set up, having a job, having to go go to work for somebody. So that's right up the alley. And then at the time I had already had some money saved up, so I had a little bit to even play with, even though I didn't know what I was doing. I knew that I had the tool already that if I didn't find out what I was doing, I could actually get ahead.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I love your mindset. I mean, we are alike in that regard. I try to get to higher ground, and I see that in you, and I see the hustle. So we talked about future lifestyles. What was your vision of your future lifestyle at that point?

SPEAKER_01 5:50

Vision of my future lifestyle was, you know, the kind of ideal lifestyle that everybody says that they want, like, you know, being able to take care of their family, do what they want, when they want, travel the world, um, you know, not have to work, um, stuff like that, stuff of that nature, having a nice car. Um yeah, stuff like that. And uh I like music, so I was al I'm always thinking about making music.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

Yeah, I know, I know. So can I sh let me share with the audience where I was at that point. Um, being a lifelong dreamer, I was still at that point where I needed one or two components left so that I could let go of my job. So trading was that thing I looked at to be that final component. Making great money on a job, not liking the job, having real estate. Sorry, knew the power of it for years, but not wanting to be a landlord anymore. Or just wanted to be free to travel the world. You know, so we had to go through our trials and tribulations trading, both of us. You know, I was making money trading, but giving it back and not understanding why. I do now, that's because I didn't have structure. So now that you have structure with your trading, right? Where are you at with that? How does it feel? What does it look like? And I'm not necessarily asking for your trading plan, but just what changed? I mean, how's it different now?

SPEAKER_01 7:38

It feels like a relief. It feels great knowing that I'm moving along with everybody else. Finding the edge instead of just being a trend trade, not even a trend trader, but uh emotional trader more so. Feels good not knowing that I'm not falling for the traps in front of me. I can just wait it out. Right. Even if I do make a mistake, it feels good knowing that I'm probably in to where I could get out break even or just a small green.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

Oh, that's fantastic.

SPEAKER_01 8:10

Messed up and, you know, a drawdown, which everyone goes through a drawdown regardless of the case. Sure. Absolutely. Like it feels good knowing that my um statistics have changed more to the green side.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

Feels great. Yeah, and I one thing I noticed when you, or two things you noticed you said get out, break even, or with a little green. So you're kind of in another whole space.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

I buy when everyone is selling. When you buy what everyone's selling, it's a good jump off point, and it also gives you a night of safety.

SPEAKER_00 8:45

Understood. So I think the bigger thing here is about life because trading is just one thing that we can do in life. But you're a young man and you have this vehicle now, and you're putting together your lifestyle, the one you envisioned two years ago when you were sleeping and living in your car. How's that vision playing out now?

SPEAKER_01 9:09

I'm not gonna sit here and say it went oh so eloquently and it went perfect and exactly how I envisioned it, because it didn't. There's been a lot of things I had to change and figure out. There's not one day that I wake up and don't have a new idea and try and figure it out. I understand. I'm not gonna sit here and say it's it's it's been exactly as I imagined. It hasn't. It's actually been another struggle. The car was with stage one, right? And getting to here and then jumping off from here is a whole nother stage. So seeing it all come together at this point feels like a relief because I feel like I'm not crazy anymore.

SPEAKER_00 9:51

I know that feeling. That's when you're actualizing and you're getting some reward from taking a chance. I imagine that if I had brought this to some people who were living in their car or had difficult circumstances, they wouldn't have taken a chance. And you did. It's you shared how it feels, but how's your lifestyle set up presently?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

My lifestyle now is I'm trying to stay away from the nine to five unless it is worth my time. I have a son, I have a girlfriend. Um I'm just kind of just just working, just trying to make more money, but also don't want to find myself getting wrapped up in money. I want to like do things that can actually help people too and make art. So I'm just trying to balance all of it out while actually still making money.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

I think that's great. So am I to understand that you have somehow at this point created some freedom of choice of how you spend your time?

SPEAKER_01 10:52

Yeah, most definitely. I have.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

I'm proud of you as a father, and I think it's great that you're learning how to take part in the capitalistic system we have here in the US and most of the world without hurting anyone else. And as you mentioned, you're trying to give back. So that's impressive.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

You can get wrapped up in money, and money is cool. Does what you want it to do, but at the same time, it's it's always good to leave a footprint in the world that can actually push everybody forward, even when you're gone.

SPEAKER_00 11:32

You know, I'm struck by a moment of silence, man. Because you're right. And you're you're you're lucky to understand that at your young age.

SPEAKER_01 11:40

Yeah, exactly. Once you're trapped in the money, that's all you are, is in the money. And then if the money doesn't move how you want it to move, because it happens, you just get deeper and deeper in the money.

SPEAKER_00 11:53

And then I understand that you have a a reality check on what's important to you and who you are and want to be. That's uh that's a set of wisdom that that maybe some people never attain in life. And you have that going for you now.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

That's what it's about. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:16

So I think talking with you today, I I I I remembered or I thought of something, and it was I said this jokingly, but I I if I felt it, I said, you know, a lot of people cry about circumstances, but how about they try? Try something new, different.

SPEAKER_01 12:35

Yeah, take a chance. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 12:39

There's no way to you agree, right?

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Heck yeah. But also, I what I would say too is sometimes it's okay to cry while you try. Like, you gotta let it out. I'm with you. Because if you just keep crying, I'm at trying, and you don't let something out along the way, it's just you're just always gonna be in that goal mode, and sometimes you just need to chill. Like I recently had taken a two-month break from trading.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:05

And I was having a rough time before I did that. And I just came back, and it's like straight off the go. It's just okay, I'm seeing things that I didn't see before.

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:16

And I had to take that two-month break because I was so frustrated. And I I was down on myself even while I was on a break. But to come back and like really put my head into the books and figure stuff out, I'm grateful that I did take that break.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

I took my first trade the other night on the 15th after not having traded for two months. But isn't that some parallel that you and I've been through at the same time? I didn't know how long you hadn't traded, but I knew I needed to step back. And while taking that breather, I created a great bit of balance for myself. I put so much time into my creative pursuits. I didn't miss trading.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

I didn't miss it either. Actually, I was a little disgusted by it. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

I don't know if I reached the level of disgust, but I reached the level of understanding that it should not have the primary place in my life. And that's where I was before I took the break. I came to the realization that in my vehicle, my primary seats are my interests and what allows me to feel stimulated in life. And if you're not careful, for some of us, trading can become a poison. Which we really want to avoid because poison is not good for anybody. So now that I'm back with a refreshed view, it's just because I like to master something and I'll get better at it and I'll go about it with a controlled approach.

SPEAKER_01 15:03

Yeah. Instead of being an emotional guy and letting the market feed off your emotions.

SPEAKER_00 15:12

That's a terrible life, and I've lived that.

SPEAKER_01 15:15

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

So we're not really talking about trading specifically, we're talking about life, right, and life lessons. So, you know, this is what I've learned and what I've put into focus. If you have your income, which you should, it's important to have a base of income. And then I had that, but I was greedy. I wanted more and more and more. So now let's channel that over to life. Once you have an understanding of who you are, then nothing else should get in the place of that. Nothing. Nothing and no one. Because it's your life. And it doesn't sound like you held back on being honest with yourself.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Nah, I mean, you if you want change, you really can't. You gotta be straightforward because if you keep lying to yourself, that's all you that's the one of the worst things you could do is just lie to yourself. You know, maybe maybe maybe a little every all of us gotta have a little delusion. But gotta have just a little bit just to keep waking up. But you gotta be straight up, bro. If it ain't working, it ain't working. Whatever it may be. And if it's working, it's working.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Don't I agree? So I had a conversation.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

You know what I mean? What's that? I said if it's working, it's working. You gotta you gotta give yourself something that's working. If it's not working, it's not working. You gotta be honest both ways.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

Uh yourself short, you know? You gotta stand in front of the mirror. That's the first thing you need to do. Just has to be the mirror of reflection, personal reflection. Yeah. You gotta stand there or sit there and really see what you see. You gotta look at your own reflection and see if you like it and where you like it, how you like it, or if you want to alter it.

SPEAKER_01 17:16

Yeah, because if you don't do that what you just said, the world's gonna tell you stuff about yourself every day. So if you don't stand in front of the mirror every chance you get, then you're just gonna be on a whirlwind and taking the perceptions of yourself that the world tells you and you won't even know who you are.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Like a roller coaster ride. Yeah, that's scary right there. And with that said, that profound wisdom you just shared, let's leave it right here. I want to ask you if someone is in that same place right now where you're at, or they were in that place you were two years ago. But the car. What would you the car? Right. The car. If your life was written as a book and that was a chapter, I would say that was the chapter. The car. Yeah, definitely. What would you want them to understand at this point?

SPEAKER_01 18:11

Um, well, if you were in the exact same position I was in, get a job. That's the rule number one. Go get you some form of employment, income, something.

SPEAKER_00 18:23

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:24

I was working and I was doing Uber after work and before work. That's why I had to limit self-care. There was no self-care. I was in the same outfits, barely showered, brushed my teeth every day. Don't get me wrong. But I'm telling you, bro, I was limited on life. I couldn't hang out with nobody, nothing. I was just in the car. As soon as I wake up, I'm gonna do Uber. I got a goal set to make some money on Uber. I got a goal set on my weekly hours at the job so I can make sure I make this money. By the end of the month, I'm gonna have this. I'm gonna have, I'm gonna do this for however many months I need to do this for. So get a job, find out what your goal is as far as getting out of that situation. Um, don't get comfortable, and um you gotta, you gotta, you gotta thug it out. You can't you can't be trying to have fun. You gotta thug it out real quick. So that would be my advice to anybody in a situation like that.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

Beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

And um don't listen to too many people because they're gonna tell you you're tripping, they're gonna tell you to do this, do that. If you know what you want to do and you see it can work, then you need to do it and believe in yourself. As far as the income works, you need to figure out how to make the exact number that you need to make. So two jobs, three jobs, side job, whatever it may be. That's what you're gonna have to do.

SPEAKER_00 19:50

I'm going to take that as what it is, a powerful message, and we're gonna leave everyone with this thought. Yes, sir. Thank you for having me, Doc. My pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 20:04

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_00 20:07

Don't just cry. Try. And sometimes it's okay to cry while you try. Until next time.