She Knew Before I Told Her

Two weeks ago, a friend told her story - 361 pounds to 172, GLP, surgeries, a fight she never let show on her face. 

What I didn't tell you then was what I actually thought when I met her. 

This week, I go back to that beginning — and to something that happened in a dentist's chair today that cracked it wide open. 

She knew before I told her. I'm still not sure how.

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THEE BIG SWING with Lloyd Hassell

There's a version of you that existed before something shifted - before a conversation, a decision, a thing you almost didn't say. You don't always recognize the moment it happened. You just notice, later, that you're not who you were.

This is a reflective podcast about those moments: the emotional reckonings and subtle internal recalibrations that change our trajectory over time - and the possibilities still available in life.

Each episode explores what happens when curiosity, courage, accountability, or reflection opens a new way of seeing ourselves and the world.

Through personal reflections and conversations, Lloyd explores changing identities, relationships, self-trust, and the quiet decisions that alter how we see ourselves over time.

This is for people who are quietly realizing they are not the same person anymore - and that there are still choices left.

The biggest swing isn't always dramatic.

Often, it's the shift inside that changes everything.

If something here stayed with you, you can reach me at lloyd@theebigswing.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

Welcome to the big swing where everyone has an opportunity to learn. Two weeks ago, I sat down with a friend who told her weight loss story. Actually it was more than a weight loss story the way she told it. She started out at 361 pounds. Now she's down to 172. She used GLP as a tool to help her do it, along with diet and exercise. She had a hysterectomy for cancer she didn't know about until she went in for a surgery. She told all of it. If you haven't heard that one, go back and listen. Before I go further, I asked her permission to share what I'm about to tell you today, including some things I never said out loud to her at the time, because today I want to tell you my side of it, what I actually thought when I first met her and soon after. Today I was in my dentist's office, and I shared with her that I'm looking to move out of the country and chase spring around the world. And I believed in what I was saying because I've researched it and I'm serious about it. And she began to interject. She asked me, Well, San Francisco? I said, no. Spain. Malaga, Spain. She said, Oh no, you can't do that there. Maybe Valencia. And so the natural thing for me to do is to ask her, which town do you like better?

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Valencia or Malaga?

SPEAKER_01 1:52

And she said, Oh, I've never been to Malaga. And I was kind of dumbfounded. I thought, wow, that's interesting. And when she stepped out of the room, I even mentioned to the dental tech, you see, it's so important that we don't impede someone else's dream.

SPEAKER_00 2:10

It's vitally important.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

And that's when I realized that I had done the same thing to my friend who transformed her body and in ways her life. You see, when I met her in September of 2025, she was 289 pounds. But I was immediately drawn to her and we became friends really quickly, and we became close quickly. And her vivacious energy and the person she is, all captivating. I knew she was overweight. And as a slim person, I've always been, honestly, judgmental of people who are overweight. And that's without knowing their story. I'm gonna admit that.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

Nonetheless, that's the truth about my behavior. So my friend was on her weight loss journey at that time. And I thought, wow, that's cool.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

I never spoke weight or anything, but I judged quietly when she told me that she was a certified fitness instructor and a Zumba instructor. And I thought to myself, wow, she's delusional. She can't be serious. No one who's a certified fitness instructor or a Zumba instructor is almost grossly overweight.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

I didn't say it. But it was there.

SPEAKER_01 3:53

Nonetheless, I decided that I liked her so much. I thought I was keeping it to myself. And I I became a cheerleader for her because I was there and she was going through the process. And I would know of her getting up at six in the morning every morning and getting on her treadmill and getting at it and being enthusiastic about it and committed. And I thought, wow, she's serious. I still didn't give her credence for being a certified fitness instructor because I was still being judgmental. And as the months went by, the pounds started melting off. And I supported her all along the way. And then March of 2026, her knees started to give out on her, not because of the weight loss, but because she had to have her meniscus on each leg surgically put in place correctly. And well, before the first surgery happened, she became immobile and had to be in the hospital. And that's when she went to the rehab facility. And while she was there, she was still upbeat. She couldn't walk. She always smiled. She couldn't work out. She wasn't deterred. I thought, well, here's where her journey gets derailed because her metabolism's gonna slow down and the weight's gonna come back. She never lost focus of what she was doing. She left and had to go into a nursing home for several weeks. And I know because I was there almost every day. And at times I would take her out so she could go eat something different than the food in there. And she was in a nursing home with people who had real physical challenges and had really advanced ages. And she never stopped smiling. She never stopped being positive. She still couldn't work out. From there she left and was on a walker. She never gave up. And by the way, through all of this process, she stayed disciplined with her GLP usage and her diet. And the weight kept coming off. So I was well into being a believer by then. Had to go in for a second surgery after she got out of the nursing home after several weeks. The weight kept coming off. And she kept going. And it wasn't until recently that she was able to take the brace off of her left knee, which is the second one she had operated on. And she still can't work out, but she's still holding it. In fact, she's down below 172. And I am a believer. So I spoke with her the other day, and I admitted to her what I held secretly in my heart, the judgment, and she said, Oh, I could tell. I knew. I said, with surprise, you knew? She said, Yeah, I could tell. But she never let on at that time.

SPEAKER_00 7:06

She just kept going and going and going. So that's commitment. That's the story of somebody judging someone who was committed, who is committed.

SPEAKER_01 7:22

And you know, today sitting in the dentist chair, who by the way is a very lovely person, uh, I realized I had been her more times in my life than I care to count.