How My Fixer Upper House Fixed Me

Episode 15: How My Fixer Upper House Fixed Me

There have been times I have been completely overwhelmed by our fixer upper house. But when I look back on everything we've built and everything I've learned about myself along the way I am truly grateful.

In this episode I'm getting personal. I'm sharing the real story behind our 2022 home purchase, what that first walkthrough actually felt like, and how taking on the challenge of a fixer upper ended up teaching me so much more than just DIY skills.

Because somewhere in the middle of the chaos of our 2024 basement renovation — the dust, the sleepless nights, the spinning thoughts — I was forced to finally address something I had been quietly carrying for years. And getting that help? It changed everything.

In this episode:

• What our first walkthrough was really like and the pep talk we had to give ourselves
• How our family of four survived two years sharing one bathroom
• The moment I realized the renovation chaos was affecting me more than I wanted to admit
• How my sister's words finally got through when no one else's could
• My experience taking a General Anxiety questionnaire and what it revealed
• Why getting support gave me the confidence to start a blog, build a business and launch this podcast
• Three things I want you to take away from my story

3 Takeaways for You:

1. Letting go of perfection is a skill worth learning. Especially as women and moms juggling so many things, the pressure to have everything looking just right all the time is real. Learning to sit with the in-between — and even enjoy it — allows you to enjoy so much more of your life.

2. Renovation chaos can affect you more than you expect. If you're in a season of chaos right now, it's important to recognize it won't last forever. Keep up your healthy habits, name what's hard, and know that every season passes.

3. Learning DIY skills will teach you more than just a skill. It'll teach you confidence. It'll push you through fear and into that feeling of accomplishment on the other side. Your home projects are worth more than a checkbox on a to-do list — they're an investment in yourself.

Connect with Sheri: 📧 hello@sheriwalker.ca 📱 Instagram: @sheri.walker_DIY 🌐 sheriwalker.ca

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

There have been times where I have been completely overwhelmed by our fixer upper house. But when I look back on everything that we've built, everything I've learned about myself, I am truly grateful. You're listening to Home DIYs for Busy Women, a safe space to dream, learn, make mistakes, and talk about the real stuff when it comes to home DIYs and beyond. I'm Sherry. I'm a married working mother of two living in the west coast of British Columbia. I have been updating and uh decorating our homes since uh 2017, and I am passionate about helping you create a home you love. So back in 22, sorry, 22, 2022 is when we purchased our detached home. And I'll tell you, when we first walked in that front door, the feelings of underwhelm that we felt were huge. Um our father-in-law, or sorry, my father-in-law was our realtor, and uh he gave us our keys and was there for our first walkthrough. And he reflected back later saying that, you know, I'm glad, like that was the first time I've seen someone do like the full walkthrough of their house. And he's like, I'm kind of glad I wasn't there for every single one of those with my clients because that would have made my job a lot harder. Uh, because honestly, I think the look on our faces, we were just like completely like, what have we done? Like it. You walked through the front door, and it uh yeah, it just smelt like an old house. There was like paint splatches everywhere. There, like, there's some foods left over in like the kitchen cupboards. We walked into like our bedroom and what was gonna be our bedroom, and it was like this bright canary yellow that seemed so much brighter than from when we did our walkthrough, and then there was like this like fuchsia ink splattered on the walls in some spots, and I just remember being like, I cannot sleep in this, and so yeah, we we were like, okay, okay, it's like just having to redirect and be like, what do we like? And like I said, I like the front door going out to the deck, and I like that we have a backyard. And like my husband went through uh some of the things that he said, and we just had to, you know, kind of look at each other and be like, okay, this will be worth it. It's gonna take some elbow grease, but we can do this. But uh, yeah, that first day we moved in, we were um my husband was ripping up carpets downstairs. I was painting our bedroom because I was like, there's no point in moving our bed into here when it's like this bright yellow that we definitely can't sleep in, and uh yeah, doing a big clean of the house, like just so many things. And uh it took, I would say, like a good month of like kind of organizing and cleaning and um doing little updates here and there for uh it to really start to feel like our house uh to feel like home. And uh we actually found a bunch of mold in like the basement bathroom, and so we couldn't use that bathroom at all, and we found that out within the first month that we lived there, and so we basically our little family of four was just living on the the top floor, which was totally fine. Our girls uh were little, and uh, but we went from having like three and a half bathrooms in our townhouse to having one bathroom between the four of us. Luckily, my little one wasn't potty trained uh yet, but um, yeah, it was just different. But the layout definitely felt a bit more functional than our townhouse, and we didn't have any regrets, but it was just this feeling of like, okay, this is gonna be a lot of work. And so uh it was about two years that we lived just on the top floor, uh, because as you know, BC Housing Market is very expensive, and uh it just took us a while to be able to be at a point where we could uh rent on the basement. And so uh in 2024, we kind of hit a boiling point where um my youngest was potty trained, so now there were four of us competing for one toilet, and uh we were like, okay, we need we need to make a change here, and so uh we worked with my husband's uncle who's a contractor and uh developed our plan. And uh Matt set up to my husband Matt set up to do all the demolition downstairs, and it was a huge, huge undertaking. Um and it took a long time. I think we started the demo in it was like August of uh 2024, and then the renovations started in September after the demolition, and it wasn't done until uh like mid-December. Definitely worth it, and it was just it was just a lot of work. Um, lots needed to be done. We um they reframed the bathroom, like we were moving walls, we uh moved our master bedroom downstairs, and then um, as if you've done rentos, you know that it kind of spreads to other areas of the house. We did some other things like upstairs, did a shiplap wall and made some really amazing improvements uh to our house, but it was during that time like our house, our home, it felt uh chaotic, people coming in and out, dust everywhere. I felt like I was constantly cleaning, and we were just in this state of like kind of being disorganized, and I got to a point where I was having a lot of trouble sleeping. Um a lot of trouble, and uh my mind would just spin, spin, spin, and I just I couldn't relax, and it was um it got to a point where I was sleeping on the couch some nights because I didn't want to disturb Matt because I was um tossing and turning so much, and uh yeah, I would go to like my day shifts at work just feeling exhausted. And Matt was like, you know, Cher, like something's gotta change here. Like you are not sleeping well, and like taking a little bit of NyQuil every night is not a fix. I'm like, I know, but like I was like, uh it's fine, it's just like a bit of insomnia. I will like ex keep my exercise routine, I will journal, I will do all the normal things that always uh would help me when I would uh have sleepless nights. Because if I'm being honest, um I've had trouble sleeping for years, and I think shift work plays a part, but just life's things, and um yeah, and so I didn't want to hear it. I knew there was a problem, but I was like, eh, he's just overreacting, like it's just a couple nights on the couch, whatever. Um, but it took my sister, like about because I was just explaining, like, oh, I'm just really just not sleeping well. And she was like, you know, Sherry, like the fact that your mind is spinning, she's like, that sounds like a lot like anxiety. And I was like, really? Like it's just insomnia. She's like, mmm, no, like that's anxiety. I'm like, well, why does it only happen at night? She's like, because you are so busy during the day that the only time where you're slowing down is at night, and that's when this mental spinning keeps happening, and I was like, interesting, and I and it, and that I mean it's honestly the same thing Matt had been saying for months, but I could only hear it from my sister, and so I was like, interesting, okay. So I made an appointment with my family doctor, and uh, because I just I was resistant to seeing my family doctor because I just didn't want to be prescribed a sleeping pill. I'm like, nope, I don't don't want to go that route, but I just was very yeah, just wasn't ready to hear it. So made an appointment with my family doctor and uh kind of explained what was going on. And she's like, okay, she's like, well, let's get you to take this um general anxiety questionnaire. And so it was like seven questions, and you kind of answer it um honestly, like choose like a an item, an answer on like a scale, and uh the results like I was on the high high end, and I was like, oh my gosh, and seeing like a number value, um, my medical brain loved loved that, but it was also super humbling. I was like, oh my god, I have anxiety, or I I have been dealing with anxiety, it's like interesting, and so um, yeah, super humbling for me. And um, so my family doctor, we talked about it, and uh because I had all these healthy habits in place already in terms of exercising and journaling and kind of you know, um even counseling, like walking through everything, she's like, you know what? She's like, let's start you on just a very low dose of an SSRI, and uh I was like, okay, any anything to get me sleeping, honestly. And so within a couple weeks of being on it, I felt great, like I was able to sleep without having to take anything, no melatonin or anything. And I just felt like I could enjoy my life a lot more, like be present, not always worried about everything. Um, and it like all the tools that I had already of like journaling and exercise, it all kind of came together, and I just felt relaxed and uh able to kind of like process things better, and yeah, it's just been huge for me, and it's honestly, I think, what gave me the confidence to be able to start um my blog and then um think about like okay, I want to start my own business, and I am passionate about DIYs. I want to kind of lean into that um passion of something other than um respiratory therapy, which I do as my day job, and uh yeah, it just kind of gave me that yeah, the desire and the confidence to be able um to do it because I wasn't, I was first of all getting sleep, which is huge, and um I wasn't so anxious anymore. And so yeah, it was just a hard thing to go through, but I'm really glad I did, and I don't think it would have come to a head if we hadn't um taken on the challenge of um taking on a fixed rubber house. So I'm not saying that um doing home rentals will give you anxiety, um, but I am saying that sometimes when you take on a challenge, you learn more about yourself and uh it's very worthwhile to go through and um yeah, take on challenges that stretch you, grow you, and uh help you learn. And so basically what I'm wanting you to take away from uh the story that I'm sharing here is that um the skills like the physical ones that I learned from like painting and doing like the uh fit some of the finishing work from our renovation, I did full disclosure, did not do the drywall or the electrical, like we had contractors doing our major uh basement renovation, but the the skills that I learned about like doing like working, doing a little bit of like the planning, doing kind of the design of um the fixtures, doing the uh some of the finishing work um was huge. I learned so much, and then I also learned this things about myself as well, right? It was kind of the catalyst to making me um do that introspection and uh getting the help that I needed. So um, so what you can take away from this, I think, is that uh first letting go of perfection is a huge skill that is worth learning. I think this is huge for us women and uh moms that are you know juggling so many things. And there's especially with social media, like there's that pressure to have everything looking just right all the time. And when we were doing doing that reno and and beyond into our life now, things when you have young kids, your house is not always gonna be put together. There's gonna be clutter and a little bit of chaos everywhere, and to be able to sit with that and in enjoy it even uh is a skill that I have mastered a little bit better. I'm definitely still working on it. Um, but yeah, but not trying to make things like Pinterest or Instagram perfect all the time is well worth it and allows you to enjoy a lot more of your life, um, speaking from personal experience. Um and then the second thing is like the chaos of being in a renovation. I mean, it can affect you more than you expect. Uh, for me, it uh being feeling like in a bit of chaos in our home environment was um was hard on me. And uh if you're going through that right now in a home renovation or like maybe in a different way in your house, some chaos, it's um important to recognize that it's not gonna last forever. Like the renovation will end, um, maybe your kids' schedules will get a little more relaxed over the summer. Like the these seasons of chaos that we have in our life, they're not gonna last forever. And to keep up those healthy habits of um, you know, journaling, just recognizing, naming it that this is stressful right now and being able to like move through it helps a lot and goes a long way. And just knowing that uh everything has a season and it will not last forever. And uh the third thing that I want to leave you with is that um learning DIY skills will teach you a lot more than just the skill, it'll teach you confidence, it'll um, you know, going through a challenge and learning something, it's gonna improve confidence, it's going to um yeah, maybe give you a little bit of like you'll be dealing with a little bit of fear at first, and then moving towards that uh state of like achievement and uh feeling accomplished. And so it's worth it to take these um home projects and challenges in your life on and look at them as um more than just like a crossing off of a to-do list on your your home planning journey, but also as like okay, this is also something that I can like learn from, and it you even could look at it as like um self-care, not self-care, but like self-work, you know. Um, and it's worth it. And so if you are feeling anything like this, I would uh love to chat with you. So feel free to email me at hello at sherrywalker.ca or find me on Instagram at sherry.walker underscore DIY. And yeah, I'd love to talk to you about how you are how you are and where you're at in your journey. And uh, if you've enjoyed this podcast and uh feel like you don't want to miss an episode, please feel free to subscribe as well as share with a friend that you think uh may benefit uh hearing about uh my story. And I would love to connect with you, so please feel free to contact me. And thank you so much for listening and for being here. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. Take care.