Banish the Lies: Outsmart Your Inner Critic

Monday Moment: Are You Scanning for Disqualification?

Tania Cervoni Season 1 Episode 21

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0:00 | 2:37

In this Monday Moment, Tania explores the habit of mentally scanning for flaws, even after showing up with presence and care. A reflection on self-doubt, high standards, and the quiet shift from disqualifying your value to recognizing what actually works. 

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Good Monday morning. Recently I was on the phone with someone I care about and they were going through something really hard and honestly, I didn't have any solutions. I didn't have any brilliant insights, no breakthrough advice, so I just listened. I reflected back what I heard. I stayed present, no judgment, just gave them my full attention, and later they messaged me to say how much they appreciated the conversation. But that actually surprised me because when I had hung up the phone, my first thought wasn't like, oh wow, that made a difference. My first thought was more like, you really didn't offer anything useful. And then the next thing you know, my brain started replaying the conversation, looking for what I did wrong, what I could have said and didn't say. Almost like if I can just figure out where I screwed up, I'd know what to fix next time. So I'll never have to feel this anxious feeling again. And that's when I noticed the pattern. My brain seems wired to look for reasons to disqualify my value and to be fair, that wiring probably helped me at some point. It made me attentive, it made me careful, conscientious. But lately I'm realizing something else. That same habit can also blind me to what is actually working. So instead of asking, you know, was that enough? Was that impressive enough? I'm trying to ask different questions like what inside that moment actually worked and what might I already be doing? Well that I'm overlooking. So let me ask you something. When does your brain start scanning for disqualification? Where do you start questioning yourself? The moment you share your feelings, speak up or say what you need. Maybe it's after you share an idea in a meeting or after you send a message and suddenly start wondering if you said too much. If that sounds familiar. Maybe pause today and ask, what might I be doing right that I'm not giving myself credit for, and am I spending more energy trying to disqualify my gifts rather than grow them? Just something to consider. And as always, I'm standing with you. Cheers.