Why the Most Successful Founders Give Before They Receive

Most founders approach giving transactionally — I will give this much when I am sure I will get that back. In this episode, Afzal Patni breaks down the law of exchange and why unconditional giving is not just a spiritual principle but a practical business strategy that changes your relationships, your reputation, and your results. Including the specific loop that blocks founders from giving freely — and what it costs them.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Today I want to talk about something that sounds simple and is actually one of the hardest things for most founders to do consistently. Giving unconditionally, not giving when you are sure you will be getting something back, not operating from that output, not giving strategically to build a relationship you can leverage later. Not giving because it looks good or builds your brand. Giving because it is the right thing to do, full stop. That's it. That is where the value system comes into picture. I know that sounds soft for a business conversation, especially for finance conversation. Stay with me because what I have observed in my own business and in every founder I have sat with closely is that ones who give unconditionally consistently are the ones whose businesses eventually produced in ways that strategic giving never could. There's a principle I come back to often the law of exchange. Simple version when you genuinely give you create a flow, and a flow generates returns. Not always from the person you gave to, not always in the form you expected, but the return comes and it comes in proportion to the geniuses of the giving, not the size of it, and coming from that mindset is the whole different little game we are talking about because the operative world is genuine or genuinely not doing all of this, it's rather always dependent on the output because there is a version of giving that looks unconditional but is not the founder who gives away free advice while mentally calculating whether this person might become a paying client, the coach who shares values, content, while tracking whether each post is moving the metrics, the consultant who helps a connection while quietly hoping the connection remembers where you need referrals. So always operating for that from that output identity or value system is very different from operating with a very good value system. Which is you give out under unconditionally and you think what you want to become. That's it money it follows and consider it money, take it as a yard, and you have to use a stick to measure how much money you generate by just giving out services, as simple as that, but not with a motto of output, not from the motto of earning from that particular person. For example, let's say someone comes to you and you're a founder, you help in a particular niche bracket, you help them come out of let's say emotional loops. Don't try to maneuver them and lure them into buying the product, which you can do. You have learned the sales, you have learned the tactics, but the more different kind of scenario is you guide them to a better place, which you think they might get better results at. Don't think that you're losing a client, just think that you're operating from a value system. None of this is wrong. All of it is human, but none of it is the law of exchange. You have to understand a natural law of exchange, that is transactional giving wearing generosity's clothes. The law of exchange activates when the giving has no tracking, no mental leisure, no expectation of return from this person in this time frame, as simple as that. Now, if you put a time constraint, time bound or money perspective on that, do as much as you can. There's not a complete necessity that you have to help go and how to help everyone. Focus on your work. If you can, the client aligns with your product, sell it. If it doesn't, just tell them no initially only. It's as simple as that. And with that comes the value system that determines whether you are holding true to your own self, true to your own product, true to your own services, true to your own foundation of the company you have set up. And here is why it is practically powerful, not just spiritually, unconditional giving changes how you show up. When you are not tracking returns, you give your best, you give the full version, the insight you would usually hold back for paying clients, the connection you would usually protect, the time you would usually guard, and people feel the difference, they feel the generosity that has no hook underneath, and that feeling creates loyalty, trust, and word of mouth that no marketing strategy can manufacture. It's as simple as that. Now, here is where it gets very interesting. Most founders I know actually want to give unconditionally. The impulse is there, the instinct to share, to help, to connect, it is genuine. But the loop blocks it. Not freedom. The moment the giving does not produce a need, the fixer loop loses the interest in that self the whole. In that what happens, it blocks giving because sharing your best insight publicly feels like handing over the only thing that makes most out of your value or holds the most valuable in your asset list. If everyone knows what you know, why would they need you? And that's a very big question that many people have there in their head. But let me tell you something. Even though if you're giving out this information, and it's not like you are the only one having this information, there'll be always such certain someone who has that similar information. But what sets that information apart is the genuineness of you, that essence of emotion you put into it, that is what differentiates the whole information, and that comes out in the most pure way when you are operating from a non feedback, non-profitable perspective. All I am saying is detach to the outcome, rather enjoy the process. That outcome will come. The outcome might come in ten times more than what you ever expected, but actually enjoy the process of giving the insights you'll get, the reactions you'll get will be all on a different level than what you're performing now. I'll give you an example of performer loop as well. They block giving because genuine giving requires dropping the performance. You cannot give your full honest self and simultane simultaneously manage how that giving is being received. The performance cannot stop managing perception long enough to give freely. Each of these loops I talked about has a different mechanism for blocking the flow, and each of them costs the founder differently. The achiever holds and the wonders why their network does not deepen, the fixer gives strategically and wonders why relationship feels transactional, the imposter well holds and wonders why they're not becoming known for what they know. The performer creates or curates and wonders why nobody feels genuinely close to them because that is the loop. The loop is not protecting them, it is blocking the exact thing they are trying to create. That's the irony part of it. That is the part of awareness. Now this connects directly to something else I want to address today. The relationship between giving and mentorship. They see that pattern you cannot see because you are inside it and they are the observer, they can see it from observer perspective. They have already paid the price for the clarity they are offering you today. But there is a reciprocal principle here. The way you receive from a mentor is by giving to others, not to the mentor, to the people behind you on that path. And this is the law of exchange in its most practical form. The mentor gives you unconditionally, you receive fully, and the way you honor that is the way you keep the flow moving, and it's by turning around and giving to someone earlier in their journey with the same unconditional quality, only then and that itself makes the flow proper and you operate from genuineness. This is why the best mentors are almost always the best students, and the best students almost always become the most generous teachers because they understand that the knowledge was never theirs to hold, it was given to them to give forward. What you withhold for others, the insight, the connection, the honest feedback is what stops the flow from continuing to reach you, not as a cosmic punishment, as the natural consequences of a closed circuit. So if you try to hold on to an information, you will be also whole from getting a particular information. The loop comes back to you to test you, and whatever you are going to do, it's going to come back indirectly or directly. So if you are a founder who has been giving strategically, tracking, calculating, managing the leisure, I want to invite you to try something different this week. One act of unconditional giving, no tracking, no expectation, no mental note of what this person might owe you someday. Give your best insight to someone who cannot pay you for it. Make an introduction that cost you something without calculating what it returns. Share something publicly that you have been holding back because it felt too valuable to give away for free. And the best part is I did that today. I started a series of multiple episodes on Instagram and I exactly gave away the whole idea of free serentropy. And notice what will happen after that. Link is in the bio. I will see you on Monday and next week. The first guest episode is here a real conversation with a founder who has lived through the loop and decoded it in the middle of building something real. I cannot wait for you to hear it. Subscribe so you are there for it.