The Next Chapter

Episode 16: From Tractor Driver to Trauma-Informed Coach: Emma Walsh on Healing, Safety & Self-Belief

• Luke • Season 1 • Episode 16

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In this episode of The Next Chapter, I’m joined by Emma Walsh — a trauma-informed coach and entrepreneur — for a proper deep conversation about burnout, nervous system safety, and what trauma can quietly do to your confidence, relationships, and business decisions.

Emma breaks down the trauma spectrum (it’s not always the 'big obvious stuff'), why trauma is stored emotion in the body, and how your nervous system is literally trying to keep you safe — even when it’s sabotaging your growth. We talk about emotional regulation, healing childhood and generational patterns, and why authenticity + self-belief aren’t fluffy ideas… they’re the foundation of sustainable success.

If you’ve been pushing, grinding, people-pleasing, or feeling like you’re constantly 'on edge' in business (or life), this one will land.

We cover:

  • Trauma as a spectrum — and how it impacts business
  • Why safety and regulation come before growth
  • Healing childhood trauma + breaking generational cycles
  • Self-belief, authenticity, and trusting yourself in business
  • Pivoting when success doesn’t feel fulfilling anymore

Chapters:


00:00 Introduction to Emma Walsh and Her Mission
02:16 Understanding Trauma and Its Impact
13:11 Identifying the Struggles of Women Entrepreneurs
18:25 The Importance of Enjoying the Journey
24:13 Reconnecting with Your Inner Child
25:29 Investments and Lessons Learned
29:14 From Tractor Driver to Coach
35:37 The Importance of Safety in Relationships
41:43 Understanding Gender Differences in Emotional Expression
47:35 The Power of Communication in Relationships
51:26 Gratitude and Self-Awareness
56:52 The Possibility of Change and Growth
01:01:49 Navigating Entrepreneurship: When to Pivot
01:11:46 Advice for Aspiring Entrepreneurs
01:15:14 Looking Ahead: Future Plans and Opportunities


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Let’s be real: your next chapter starts now...

SPEAKER_01

Hello everyone and welcome to today's episode. Today I am joined by Emma Walsh, a burnout and alignment coach, entrepreneur, and a trauma-informed practitioner. Emma helps women build businesses with real stability, not just more tactics, and show up online with power, boundaries, and truth. If you've ever wanted to build something big but felt like being visible online comes with a cost, then this one's for you. Emma, welcome to the show.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you for having me. I'm looking forward to this conversation. I think it'll be good. It's nice to reconnect considering we started building our businesses around the same time. So this was gonna be good.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, that was back in the Coaching Master days. That was a couple of years ago. About now, I would say. Is that right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. It actually came up in my memories yesterday that it was two years since launching the business. And Jesus Christ, what a ride it's been.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we'll definitely get into that today. So for anyone meeting you for the first time, who are you and what is your mission?

SPEAKER_02

So we'll start with my why, because I think that's always the most precious thing. And ultimately, like anybody that listens, like we do everything because of a why, right? So for me, my why is it has several additions, but the biggest part of it is legacy. Now, when we think about legacy, a lot of people will think, right, money, I'm gonna make my millions and buy a load of fucking assets and pass that down, and that's gonna be my legacy. For me, legacy this legacy is about something that money can't buy, and it's a legacy that you pass on within yourself because when you do the inner work to stabilize your nervous system, to build capacity within your nervous system, to receive love, feel comfortable in love, and just actually find fulfillment in your own life, you are going to pass that on to your children. And this is where we cut things like generational trauma out, and your children then get to go on into a world that we've been trying to run away from, right? Like we don't want to be in toxic relationships and we don't want to struggle with our mindset. We that ends with us. We've done the change and we create the legacy that takes on to our children. And for me, that is my biggest why, because I grew up around sadly a narcissistic parent, in and out of toxic relationships my entire life, and that's how I fell into where I currently am. Like I am obsessed with trauma. If you anybody follows me, that is like my thing. I'm very protective of how people view trauma, you know, and people getting the correct information about their nervous systems, because everybody thinks that trauma can just come down to, you know, the big things in life, like, you know, car crashes, traumatic events like sexual assaults, physical abuse. But it can really come down to something as simple as you've experienced an overwhelming emotion and it just hasn't processed in your body. And that is the softest and most basic form that trauma is. So to be able to carry that and help women break through that so they can actually not just be like, right, well, I've built this success and I don't know how to hold it now. It's making me feel miserable or I can't even show up online, but I have this huge vision. That to me is the greatest legacy because we actually shift that and change that. And that's all just come from my own journey, my own struggles, and really them believing that I didn't go through all of that shit to put it to waste. Like it I went through it for a very good reason, like I'm quite spiritual in that essence, and I believe fully that I went through it to help other people, especially at such a young age. Because, like, you look at my brother, he had he's had the polar opposite end of the spectrum, like he's had the wealth and success early, and now he's having the struggles in his relationships. Whereas I had all the relationship and mental struggles to begin with, and I do believe that was because I was meant to have it first to be able to support everybody else through it in the afterlife. So that's really, I guess, the ball part in the most roundest form: who I am, what I do, and why I do it.

SPEAKER_01

So so you're saying that trauma is on a spectrum. I mean, Effin's on a spectrum to a certain degree, anyway, but to for um traumatic events can be massive for some people and not so much for others, right?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a hundred percent. And like what we've always got to remember is everybody's trauma is valid. You know, trauma in itself, like the softest, most gentlest term that I can put trauma into, trauma is essentially a stored emotion within the body. Now, emotion means energy emotion. So when we basic it down, trauma itself just means energy in motion. And what we have to remember is everybody perceives reality differently. How someone perceives a car crash will be extremely traumatic for one person, and for another person, it was a lucky escape and they're grateful to be alive. You know, and that's the thing. So everybody's trauma is extremely valid, but it is also an element of just because you haven't had an extreme event happen in your life doesn't mean that you don't have trauma. In the same term that not everybody's situation is trauma, it's just we're not doing the fucking thing that we need to do and we're just avoiding it. Like, but it's it's about when we look at trauma, our body will tell us, you know, if we're experiencing an event that is making us relive, you know, like for some people, prime example is they're trying to show up online. The minute they whip their camera out, their throat is closing up, suddenly all of these ideas that they've had just disappears out. That is that's trauma replaying out. That's your body going into fight or flight or freeze and shut down, and we're not capable of moving that energy, but it just looks like holy shit, I've just lost all my ideas and I can't speak on camera. And this is really, it can be as simple as someone laughed at you in school that made you feel embarrassed. So now the minute you whip your camera out, you're scared that you're gonna be embarrassed again. And like this was something that personally I really struggled with for a long time. I was so scared to say the thing that I meant, like fully meant online, because I was so scared that someone with more knowledge than me was going to embarrass me. Because there were several times as a child that I'd said exactly what I meant to my parents, and it was either dumbed down, it was being like thrown back in my face. Um, like prime example, I moved out at 17. Um, and when we had a sort of family event and the topic came up, I was very honest. And I said to my mum, like, I moved out because I I really find your anger uncomfortable. Like, it doesn't make me feel safe. I'm always on edge. And she had a full teary breakdown about it, and it was then me comforting my mum. So then my emotions, my thoughts made me feel so unseen. And this is how our trauma then plays out, because then I'm trying to show up online being like, hey, I don't agree with what these people are saying, or hey, this is how trauma works, and hey, this is how it's stopping you showing up. And my voice is going, you can't say that. You can't say that, can't say that. And it's it's that element that doesn't always show up in this physical, I'm gonna have a mental breakdown and start crying. It can literally show up in the most sneakiest form of we start overexplaining, we start shifting and changing our wording, and that is our trauma showing up. And like you sit and think, in my prime example, from the outside point of view, my mum crying over me being honest and me nurturing her doesn't look like a big traumatic event. It's not a car crash, it's not something that where I broke or the house burnt down. It just looks like a daughter who's upset her mum, who is now nurturing and soothing her parent. But that created such a strong emotion in my body that says, your opinions aren't valid, you don't get to be seen, so just shut up and get on with it. That's your safest bet. And our nervous system, all it ever wants to do, our nervous system's prime job in this life is to keep us safe because it goes all the time you're safe, you are alive, and my job is done. So if I see a potential threat, I'm gonna do everything absolutely possible to make sure that you don't, you know, end up hurt, you don't end up upset, you don't end up feeling the emotions that you once felt in a situation like this before. And this is when we then consistently relive it out. And for so many people, like I know we've spoken about before, with mindset and stuff like that. So many people try to address this kind of stuff on a mindset level just by saying affirmations in the mirror. But our emotions are the things that are driving our show. Like you look at psychology for years, the psychological way when you saw the event, you experienced the emotion, you had the thought, you then had the behavior, you then had the result. That's psychology. So a lot of people go, right, well, I'm gonna work on the mindset level, but they forget that the body is the one driving the mindset, and this is why so many people relapse. And like I did that when I first started out, I was like, right, let's just skip these emotions and just get on with it, and then ended up burning out. And it shows up in other little ways of like, okay, I feel safe to be seen and in body, but I don't feel safe to be seen in voice. And this is the thing, we are like onions as human beings. We are layers, just because we have shifted one layer doesn't mean there isn't another layer there. Like, and that's the thing, it's that saying of new levels, new devils, and each level there is gonna be another layer, and this is consistent work that happens all of the time. So when it comes to being on a spectrum, for sure, everything is on a spectrum, but it's not always having to be the most serious thing in the world that's put you onto that spectrum. And some of it is we're just facing some fear, you know, like if if it's the first time that you've ever showed up on camera and you're trying to get comfortable with it, naturally you're going to have a nervous system dysregulation. And the difference is when you are dysregulated, once you have done the thing. So, say if you're trying to show up on camera for the first time, you show up on camera and you think, oh, that was actually really easy. Like your nervous systems come back into regulation. When it's a trauma, it's a, I can't physically do this. My heart is gonna pump out of my chest, I feel like I'm short of breath, just everything feels off in the body. Whereas, like I say, a dysregulated nervous system is extremely healthy, and we're gonna bounce in between that and general regulation. But it comes down to the difference of can I fully take action on this and be a hundred percent myself, say exactly what I mean, do all of the things that I actually want to do when I deliver, or am I only able to do one percent of that and eat or sometimes even none of it? Does that answer your question? That was a long, that was a lot there.

SPEAKER_01

No, no, it's it's brilliant stuff. I absolutely love it. What sort of women do you help then, Emma? And what is she struggling with behind the scenes?

SPEAKER_02

So for a long period of time, I was trying to help sort of new aspiring coaches because I I as a new aspiring coach myself, I would say the biggest thing that burnt me out was not the strategy, it was not the workload, it was the constant trying to do and be without the actual capacity within my body to do it. You know, I was always trying to show up online, but never fully be myself. Like I was always performing. And that to me was so important that we, you know, actually make the strategy work by healing ourselves. And I started to realize over time, and you know, this is a very natural part, I think, of having a business is you can know what someone needs, but they don't know it for themselves yet. So if you don't, they don't know it for themselves yet, you ain't gonna self-fuck all. Like that's the bottom line. Whereas, so, and I saw that, and it was really sad to let that part of my niche go. So now for me, it's very much the businesswoman that actually already has her business, but she just knows that something's really off within her body. She's she's miserable, like she's going to work, she's coming home at seven o'clock, she's still scrolling through her phone, she is trying to show up online, but never really says what she wants to say. She's swearing at people on the road because they're not going fast enough. And she's burnt out, you know. The biggest thing that I do is burnout, and burnout is a manifestation of trauma. Like that is the bottom line. It comes down to our behaviors, you know, people pleasing, always saying yes, never being able to rest. And this ultimately, over time, is what's going to drive us into burnout. So for me to be able to sit and say, you know what, you already know that you're successful, you were very clearly ambitious, but yet there is always just a missing link. And you created this big, beautiful life, but you're just not living it, you know, and that's the thing. Like if we sit and go, right, well, we created this beautiful business, but I don't have a life. Have you actually got a business, or have you got a nine to five with your name and the profit? That's the thing. And for me, it was really about that's where I can make the difference. Because we are in a world now that everybody's overdiagnosing themselves, no one trusts themselves, everybody is second guessing what they do, what they say. And a lot of people take so much personally that when you are, and what I call a steady CEO, you trust yourself explicitly. You know, you're not having to go and have these long talks with your partner about why this part of business isn't working, and you know, I hope this just works out one day. And I will have, but it's not a repetitive theme. It's a once in a blue moon because you know in yourself that actually I'm still showing up, even if it's at 70% capacity. I know that if I can see it, it's already happened. So it's going to happen. I just got to keep doing my thing. And that I can go home at night and put my kids to bed without thinking about the long job list that I've got to do the next day. And that in itself creates so much more creativity. You know, a lot of people sit and go, Oh my god, I'm so creatively blocked. Like I hear this a lot with my clients. Oh my god, I'm so creatively blocked. And it's like, you're not, you're just trying to pile so much into your brain that you have no natural reaction to the human world anymore. You're not responding to life because you're not living life. And that's the thing, you are not living life, so you're not able to respond to it. Like we have opportunities around us every day to create ideas. And, you know, I have in my phone like a set of different folders to get ideas from to create content, you know, and everyday experiences can show this. Something as simple as someone walking past your house and nosing through your window is something you can discuss and spin around into your own perfect niche. But when we are in survival, we're not able to see this. You know, when we're acting from fear, we limit our options. Whereas when we're an open house, when we have an expansive capacity, our opportunities that we see them all the time. They're open to us consistently. And that for me makes business easier, makes it a lot less stressful, shows up your personality online, builds a personal brand, and actually gets you to enjoy your life. What more do you want? Like, what more do you want in this life if you're a business owner, right?

SPEAKER_01

It's all about enjoying the journey, as cliche as it sounds, it really is. And so many people have said this to me over the years: older people, wiser people, and of course you laugh at them, but you get to my sort of age, mid-40s, and you're like, my god, they were so right. And I tell my kids this all the time now, and they less laugh at me. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, because that's the thing, isn't it? Like, you sit and think, Oh my god, like we're already in April, like, where is this year gone? And if you're not waking up every day and enjoying the things that you do, like what are you doing? Like, what life are you living? And you know, I I love my dad to bits, but after even after his divorce, he lives a life to what he enjoys, but he also doesn't enjoy his life because all he wants to do is work. He's like, I have no other hobbies, I've traveled twice in my entire life, and he's just and that's the thing. If you are not careful, you get to a point in your life, and you have to ask yourself, when I'm on my deathbed, what do I want to look back and remember? All the times that I was at work, all the times I was in bed and I was struggling, all the times I didn't trust the process and buried my head in the sand and sat there crying because nothing was working out, and that's the life that I kept repeating. Or do I want to remember the times where I had a cry? I got up, got on with it, but yet I put my kids to bed and the next day they came to me with a problem, I could support them. Or I went on this holiday and I was so cool with not having to be in my business the entire time. Or I made all of this money and actually, you know what, I reinvested it and I'm pretty good with that. And it's about, like I say, sitting there and asking yourself, do you want to struggle your entire life to get onto your deathbed and say, Well, life was tough? Is that what you want? Or do you want to sit there and go, you know what, yeah, life was hard, but I absolutely loved every minute of that. Don't regret a single thing. Because it's too late by that point. It's too late to change anything. Whereas now, every day you have an opportunity to change it. Every day you have an opportunity to say, life isn't living the way I want it to be lived. And that as well is really part of being a steady CEO because you come back into well, what is it that I want? How is it that I want to live? Who is it that actually I want to be, and how is that going to make me happy? Because you only have you. As much as we can be married, we can be in relationships, but you are the only person that gets to see your life through your eyes. You are the only person who gets to see it through your own body. You have to live it for you too.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah. I think it's about being content. I know lots of people could define that in different ways, but I think it's about being content and just happy in your own skin.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a hundred percent. Because otherwise, you spend your life comparing and then what have you missed? You know, every time you, you know, say for instance you're s you're sat on a beach front and there's couples walking about everywhere, and you see one couple and they're all cuddly and they're all gooey and they're all over each other, and you're like you know, but you've just missed the old couple over there that are hoping that one day they get to see their partner again. Or you get you miss seeing the little kid that's giggling and laughing. You know, by comparing yourself to other people, you miss the very things that make you happy. And that's the thing, you're you're eating your life away and before you know it it's gone. And what have you done? You've just missed all the good things in life and the the beautiful things that life has to offer. Because there was a I can't remember what it was, but someone once said, if you find if you spend your life finding why a reason as to why every day could be great, you will have the greatest life. And I think that in itself is a true testament because the more you focus on the negative, the harder life will be, and the more you find the greatness in your life, you will live the life you've always wanted. It's always here, it's always within us. We already know it. Like, and I and I firmly believe that we already know the life that we want from the moment we are born, you know, like the the visions, and I don't know if you'll agree with this, but the visions that I have for my life now, I've had them since I was, you know, as young as I can remember. They've just slightly changed to the modern day compared to what they were.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

And that's the thing. We already knew what we wanted, but the world and our life experiences have very much told us sometimes that we can't have it, that we're not capable. We are not, you know, strong enough. We are someone worth listening to. And then we start believing that we don't get to have it. So we start fighting for it. And we start to believe that it's just a dream that's not possible. And that's where so many people feel lost. We already knew. We we were born with it. Everybody was born with an imprint, with a dream, with a vision, and it's just down to you to come home to that. And a lot of people don't. And I think that's where a lot of people struggle.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we're conditioned by society as we grow up. And yeah, that that inner child, it gets sort of lost, and that I think that's why many so many people have this midlife crisis. They they get to a certain point, they go down that road, and they're just God, where's my life gone? What's happened? And yeah, um, especially for a lot of the guys that I coach, um, they got to that point and it's a sort of realization. It's like, wow, in 10, 20 years I'm gonna be retired, and and then that's gonna be it. You know, the kids are growing up, they're they're starting to leave the house there and um it's that realization, and yeah, and it's it's really, really, really is really really scary. Like you said, before you know it, life can be gone, so you've got to grab the life by the horns and uh made the most of it, right, and yeah, yeah, and you're not kidding.

SPEAKER_02

You're not kidding. You have, and you've got you've literally just gotta say, just fuck it. But that's my answer for so many things in my life that have got me to where today are just fuck it. Like, what's the worst that's gonna happen, right? We'll just end up back to exactly where you are right now, and I think this is something that they do say a lot in the coaching space. Like, what is the worst that's gonna happen? Yeah, you invest a load of money, but you end up doing the exact same thing that you're doing now. The only downside is you're spending more money paying off your debts, paying off for the coaching programs that you've invested into. But there's always a lesson in all of this. Like, and I don't know if you can agree with this, but I don't regret a single investment that I've made into my business because every investment has been a huge part of my journey, like a big part of my investment into understanding trauma and learning about trauma. That's worked more wonders for me than what it's done for any of my clients. But then that's why I can be the coach that I get to be. Um, and that's the thing, is it comes back to that level of we always knew that we were meant to be a certain person. And I think there is actually some science behind this that we were born with we are born with more neurons than when we are as an adult. And what happens is, like a tree, through life conditioning, these neurons get taken down and get stripped back and get thinned out. And then, of course, when we start doing this healing work, they all start growing and coming back. But as children, we are actually born with more neurons. That's why kids are so fearless, that's why they have this fuck it attitude and don't care. And you know, they they have no fear, they have no worries. It's is purely the conditioning of life that makes us who we are. And for me personally, I learned, you know, very recently actually that I came out of my mum's womb with the umbilical core wrapped around my neck three times. And after being born, I actually slept consistently and they had to wake me up to feed me. And doing some research on that myself, it was actually that as a child is an indication that you are living in survival from the minute you're born, from the stress in your mum's womb. And what happens is obviously, as kids, no one teaches us how to regulate our emotions, no one teaches us how to come out of this. And now as an adult, like I'm coming out of this level of survival, and it's like I get to now be the child that I was always meant to be, right? You know, but in that process, it's giving me some of the most beautiful qualities that I could ever be grateful for. Like Harry always says to me, you can read a room before you've walked into it, you know someone else, what someone else is feeling before they've even felt it themselves. And they're some of the most precious qualities I you know, I absolutely love. But without doing this journey, without paying into the coaching and the investments, and I wouldn't know how to refine it and better it, like now they're better than ever because I can actually do something with them. So it's it's really about that mindset perspective of enjoying the process, taking the best opportunities, even if they don't look like an opportunity, and finding the lesson. In every struggle, there is a lesson, and I do personally believe that those struggles are there to push you to be a better person. It's just whether you are willing to be true and and honest enough to yourself to take the lesson on board and do something about it.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's all about learning from learning these lessons and not falling into that victim mindset, that fixed mindset, keeping a growth mindset and moving forward, and that way we're gonna grow, we're gonna evolve, and we are gonna become that better person. But we've got to stick with it. It's yeah, it's tough. It is tough, I know. So, what did you do? Um, what did you do? Um, we've touched on it a bit before, but what did you do before coaching and uh going down this line of entrepreneurship, then Emma? Um what did that chapter teach you?

SPEAKER_02

Probably the most unconventional thing, like I think people always shocked when I say this, but I was a tractor driver, like I was a very good tractor driver. I was one of only two females in the UK to drive one of the biggest tractors in the world, and I'm very proud of that. Like, I was featured on global platforms like agricultural platforms, several magazines. Like I was a proper woman in agriculture and I was running rings around the guys. So I think, do you know what? I do strongly believe that part of my life taught me about work ethic in a form that I would have never experienced before because in that time of my life it was normal to work a hundred-hour weeks, six months of the year. Like, and you didn't batter an eyelid, you know, you learned how to get on with it and not complain, how to do the dirtiest and grubbiest jobs and normalise it. So those sorts of experiences really shaped who I am in that element of working hard, facing and doing tasks that look disgusting, but actually in the grand scheme of things, can nine times out of ten be washed off with a bottle of shampoo and you know, some brake fluid or something like that. Or, you know, it's everything can always be cleaned up. And I think another big part that that life taught me was how to be comfortable being alone. You know, like farming is a job where, you know, some days I wouldn't see anybody for three days. I wouldn't see a boss, I wouldn't see a colleague, I would leave the yard at seven in the morning, I probably wouldn't come back till one, two in in the like the following, you know, that night. And you would diesel up and you just go again. And I had the dog, but before that I didn't have a dog. And it was this level of responsibility that I guess a lot of people won't ever experience because not only are you working on your own, you have to learn your own time management, you have to be structured. You I'm very good now as well at kind of guessworking how long something's going to take me. Um, also a level of honesty that can suck because the best and biggest way, and this principle runs through life, people respect you more for being honest when you fuck up over lying to cover it up. And farming taught me that a farmer will always respect you more if you're honest about something you've done wrong or asking a question when you don't know something. And that industry really gave me the confidence to do that, but it also taught me a lot about when you are a certain person having thick skin because an industry, you know, like any industry, you know, I probably know it more because of being in agriculture. A lot of people will make rumors up. You know, they'll shame you, they will make rumours up about you. And it's like no matter what you do, it's never enough. And that was something I really experienced, especially as a woman in the industry. So it taught me a lot about having thick skin. And it took me a long time to come to that level of having thick skin of I've either done it or I haven't done it. And if I haven't done it, it's not my problem. If I have done it, just own up to it because the faster you own up to it, the quicker it's going to kill a rumor. You know, people don't get a kick out of it if they don't think that they're hurting you. And that for me was probably one of the biggest shifts of, you know, especially in the online space of knowing that you can share without sharing everything. And that you get to decide to an element of what people are supposed to know. And you will never, ever, ever be able to control what someone else says about you. You will never, ever, ever get to control who says it and how people respond to it, how long rumors go on for, and how cruel people can be, you know. But what you get to control is how you let it consume you, you know, and that's that's a fine art. Like, I don't want someone to listen to that and go, right, well, I just need to switch my mindset over. Like, it takes time to really come to that place of being okay with people saying shit about you and not letting it live rent-free in your mind and knowing that it's more personal to them than what it is to you. And I think as much as like now, I still get to do the farming, like I ended up dating a farmer, so it kind of worked out pretty well for me. Like, so I get to live the best of both worlds. I mean, I think I would never ever go back to it full time just because of it's very easy to lose yourself in that job, you know. Like I say, long hours, no one to speak to. And actually, I found it even in being an entrepreneur. You know, I'm very comfortable with being on my own. But what I didn't realize was when you do the healing work, you know, naturally the byproduct of doing the healing work is to take action. Now, there's one thing taking action within your business, but taking action in a personal lifestyle setting is a whole other experience. And you'll never actually get to define your real personality by being on your own all the time. So for me, like we discussed earlier that I've gone back into a job and it's actually at the local pub down the road. It has been the best thing that I ever did, not just for the financial stability, but actually for me to then go into that, talk about what I do, like as a trauma-informed coach, as a practitioner, helping women heal trauma, you know, believing in myself and not thinking, oh my god, I need to prove my worth to these new owners. It's actually like, no, I'm good at what I do, so I know I'm fine. And cracking jokes, like I'm actually quite an entertaining person, I'm quite funny, and I've got think working with men my entire life, I can get in on the male banter and not second guess it, and I can be pretty quick. And it's taught me that. And that's the thing. Like now I can be in this pub and I can be pulling a pint and be cracking out a joke and laughing. And when it comes to then like my business, you know, I'm on social media just being myself. But for the longest time, because of working by myself and being so comfortable being on my own, it felt like every time I got on social media to quote unquote be myself, it felt like a performance over someone that I was just being. And that for me is quite a big contrast. It really shows me personally, like how far I've come because even in agriculture, it was like I was having to be someone. I had to be the best of the best. You know, I had to be one of the best tractor drivers. I had to beat the boys because if you didn't, you were failing. And I couldn't fail. I was not failing. Whereas now it's okay to be like, you know what? I just get to enjoy the things that I do. And if if it's not good enough for someone, either tell me how to fix it or it's clearly not that much of a problem. And that is the biggest shift. That's the biggest difference. Sorry, my laptop was gonna die.

SPEAKER_01

I think it's a really good point about the work ethic. My kids, I tell them stories now about when I used to fruit pick and when I was backpacking in Australia, and I remember it was backbreaking work. I I picked cherries, I picked bananas, I did sweet corn, watermelons, all these different fruits, and it was it was backbreaking work, but it stood me in really good stead with that strong work ethic. And I always think now, if I'm ever having a bad, like a hard day at work, I always think back to those days and I think, oh my god, you know, it could be a hell of a lot worse. Yeah, I feel I think coming from that agricultural background, that is a really, really powerful, yeah. Uh, and what a difference to what you're doing now as well. Obviously, working with is it um, isn't it just females that you work with ever as um female entrepreneurs building their businesses?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, mostly. I mean, I think the thing that I've I'm not against men or anything like that, but also something that I've learned about men is you know, naturally the masculine energy is to provide and protect. You know, definitely men, and I'm sure you can agree with this as well. A lot of men want to be able to feel like they can work things out on their own. You know, they don't want, they're not always ready to admit of actually this happened to me in childhood, or I had this experience, or I'm scared that someone's gonna laugh at me. And that's not an ego thing. I think socially men have been taught that you are not allowed to be weak. You know, how dare you show your cracks. You have to be the strong one, you have to be the provider, you have to be perfect and so tight in your energy and what you do for your household, that if you was to crack, it means that you're failing. And that's society. I do believe society has and the world that we live in today, like we can't just blame society. I think sadly, there is a lot of both men and women that are pretty toxic in how they speak to their partner. And, you know, that naturally creates a level of some men just aren't ready to talk yet. And I'm not interested in forcing someone to talk about something that they don't want to talk about, you know. So if a man is ready to come to me and say, Look, like I'm really struggling with this, and I say, Okay, well, the first thing we need to do is actually build safety in your nervous system. We have to also sit and go, Well, is that something that you actually want to do? You know, women are a lot more in tune with their emotions. Like, if I said to you, prime example, you're a gentleman, if I said to you, right, I want you to sit down and scan your body and find a safe space within your body, what is your first initial reaction? Like, be completely honest.

SPEAKER_01

Um, in my stomach.

SPEAKER_02

But was you or was you not a little bit like this is a bit weird.

SPEAKER_01

Of course, of course, but literally I was, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Whereas a lot more women, women are a lot more open to that concept. You know, the word safe to a woman is like the holy grail. And I think if any man is listening to this right now, if you can say to your woman, you know, like, you are safe. I have you, we will get through this. Your whole fucking relationship is gonna change. Like us women, 90% of what we want in life is to feel safe. Men, most of the time, has never experienced that, even in caveman times. They have always been the one to provide safety. And I think that is such a big thing. And a man, in my opinion, has to be ready. You know, they have to really want to live life differently and experience things differently, over a woman that says, actually, my emotions are really important to me. You men have been taught that their emotions are not important to them, they shouldn't have emotions. The only emotions that they should experience is anger and rage and frustration and and happiness when they get the chance to. Women are taught differently, and that is the biggest difference for me in that element, and a big part of the work that I do is safety. It is the foundation of everything that I do, is that, and I'm a firm believer is any woman that feels safe, and any human being, not just a woman, but any person that feels safe will accomplish everything that they want in their life because they feel safe to do it. It's like your kids, isn't it? Like when we we do relate this back to being a child because ultimately it's our inner child all the way. If you're teaching your kids how to ride a bike, they will feel confident to do it all the time you have hold of the saddle because they feel safe with their parent there. The only time they feel safe to continue is when they think that you're still holding on, but you've let go. But by that point, they prove to themselves that they're fine, they're safe, they're okay. And that is a prime example of why safety is so important. Because when we feel safe, we will do everything we believe we possibly can. But we've also grown up in a world now where safety is something that has to be earned over something that is just lived and given.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's funny you should say that. My wife, I remember when I was doing my NLP master practitioner course, and we were going through our core values. My my wife's one of my wife's core values was security, and like you've just said about safety, so that that definitely resonates with me for sure. Women want to feel safe and secure.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, a hundred percent. And you know, we that's what you know. I think we've all grown up in a world now where it's like it's sexy to be a strong independent woman. And like this was something that I definitely personally experienced for myself was I had to be this strong independent woman, and that we should never be able to rely on a man. When the reality is we should be able to rely on a man, like it's okay to rely on a man. Like, I lean on Harry so much, not in the terms of I want everything from him in the world, but he's our safe, you know. Like, as a woman, our partners are our safe space to turn to when we just need to vent. They're our first person that we want to call when the world feels like it's falling apart. Like, safety doesn't just mean, oh hey, I've got a roof over my head. It literally means when I need someone to talk to, you're there to listen. When I need someone to hold me and give me a hug, you know, you're there to do that. Like, and I see you nodding there, and I'm sure you can resonate that when your wife has a problem, the first person she picks up is the phone to you is to you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, and that's because she feels safe. And that for a woman is our true connection to so many things. You know, if we feel safe in the bedroom, we will let go a lot more and relax into it. If we feel safe out on the street, we will be pretty comfortable. You know, if we don't feel safe, we'll be clutching at your clothes and squeezing your hand and just needing your constant reassurance. Because we're human beings and we have always, you know, even when you look back in caveman times, the woman waited for the men, you know, and it's not saying that us women now have to wait on men, not at all, because we're not in caveman times anymore. But safety in the human connection has always been there for a woman to look from it from a man, you know, and that is where the man's always been taught, right? Well, I've got to make her feel safe. That's why we want to put a roof over our heads and want to put money in the bank account, you know. It's always been there, but it's just been lost and mishapped and shaped differently along the way, and that's where, in my opinion, so many relationships do fail because people stop feeling safe with one another, and you know, these roles have been so so enlightened. And I think, and I do feel for men because there is a lot of pressure on men nowadays to be everything without feeling who they are, you know, and I think that's such a big thing, but also, you know, us women have to step up in making our men feel safe. Because if you don't feel safe, you're not gonna be like, right, well, I actually want to provide and protect you because I don't even feel safe with you. Like, if you think you know your partner's cheating on you, you're not gonna be like, Yeah, I want to go out and work and go and buy you some nice flowers and stuff like that. You you're gonna be a bit like, Why would I want to do that for you? Like, you treat me like crap. Like safety works both ways, you know, reassurance works. Both ways. Like there's several times Harry will be tired, he'll be working his backside off. We don't get to see each other very often. And he'll just ring and he'll just, I just want to have a chat, babe. Like I'm just struggling right now, and I'm sitting in the machine with my own thoughts and just need some reassurance. And that's where we are there to do that. And we have to always remember, male or female, we're a human being. And as a human being, we have thoughts. And not every thought is going to be perfect. And yes, to a degree, we want to be able to work through those things by ourselves and be able to then come back to our partner and say, Hey, you never guess what I sorted out in my mind today? Because we don't want to always have to rely on someone else to fix our mindset. Because what happens if they're not here anymore? We're going to struggle, right? We want to always be able to support ourselves. But there is also that level of it's okay to need someone else to lean on. You don't have to do everything yourself all the time. And that role goes both ways. Like I'm a firm believer in that.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you need to learn uh lean on each other in hard times, and it's a partnership. And yeah, I I always say that um I say this to my kids, you know, you need to be able to communicate. You need to communicate, you can't hold on to stuff, you need to share, you need to be open, you need to be vulnerable because that is essentially the connection that we both need from male and female.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, for sure. And I think, you know, and you said something really important there about being vulnerable with each other, you know, because as human beings, like we are, and because of our nervous system, we are naturally wired to read face cues. Like our actual our actual physical intake is only I think it's something like seven percent words. So how we build our thoughts, how we experience it the world is only actually done by seven percent words. The rest of it is done by facial cues, sounds, you know, hand movements, body language, because that's what our nervous system picks up on. It will even pick up on the dilution of someone's eyeballs if someone starts to squint their eyes or furrows their eyebrows and their body language shifts or their tone of voice shift. Like, prime example here, like if I was speaking really, really quickly and oh my god, like straight away I started to see your shoulders go up then. But when I was speaking to you about that level of safety and connecting with your partner, and my voice starts to slow down and starts to become a lot softer, naturally you're nodding, your shoulders are dropped, you're more relaxed. Our nervous system doesn't just respond to words, it responds to our tone, our physical being. And when we connect and when we're keeping things from our partners, the reason people go, Well, I had a gut instinct, something wasn't right, is because they're reading your body language consistently all the time. Like we are wired to scan our environment. So when we can sit with our partners and say, Hey, babe, I don't need you to do anything about this, but this is just what's going on in my mind right now, and it's not personal to you, nothing is wrong with us. That connection's restored. Our partners are not right mind readers, like you know, and as women, we go through several different emotions in a day, in a week, in a month, whether we like it or not. And if we're gonna keep these things from our partners, and likewise, you know, for men, 90% of a male struggle is how they look, if they think they're doing good enough, if they are financially okay. Like, if we cannot talk to our partners about this, and in heightened, because a lot of people think, oh my god, if I share that with them, they're gonna want to run away. If they run away, fucking let them because they're not meant to be your person. But as you probably know, like actually, when you share that sort of information, your partner sits and says, Thank you. Thank you for taking the time to trust me with that information, and that connection is then suddenly deepened. People then stop tiptoeing around you because a lot of people go wrong is they come home from work after a terrible day, don't say anything, and their partners then pick up on that energy, and they're just a little bit like, oh my god, what is wrong with that person? Why are they so moody? And the next thing, you're having a blown-up argument because one person didn't pass the fork over and only gave them a knife, which could have been resolved with just say, Hey, babe, I've had a really terrible day at work and your partner being able to go, okay, what do you need? What do you need right now? Well, I need 10 minutes to myself to go and decompose. Okay, well, off you go. Bedroom's all yours. Like, I'll leave you alone. And we stop having this back and forth of have I done something wrong? Are they annoyed at me? And this cycle, you know, whereas if you just say to someone, what is it you actually need right now? Well, I don't need nothing, or maybe I just need a hug, or I need 10 minutes to myself, everybody's trust is restored. Everybody feels safer, everybody feels like they have been heard, like they have been seen, like their needs have been met, and suddenly everything starts to shift in the household. And this, when you have a place like this, and I'm sure that you can relate to this as well, that life feels so good, even when it feels like a struggle, because you know that you have got each other, you know you've got someone to turn to, you know that your back is covered, you are held, you are supportive, and you feel like you can achieve anything. And you celebrate life just because you get to, right? And that in itself, getting to that point, makes any challenge feel easy. Because you know, you you're not alone. And I think you then feel safe doing it. You don't feel like your home is a place that you're trying to run away from. And that in itself is such a big foundation that so many people sadly just don't have.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, it's about being c like we said before, about being content and being in a state of gratitude. I think uh I go through it a lot with my clients about being being in gratitude and actually being so being self-aware and thinking of all the good things in your life. And I think we're so distracted, we're so stressed, like you were saying about trauma, we've got so much going on that we just can't we just can't see it, we're just not aware of it, are we?

SPEAKER_02

No, and a lot of things, you know, and I think we have to be real here. For a lot of people, it's normal, you know, because for a lot of people they saw their parents stressed out about money, so it's normal, it's just who they are, you know. We we you you'll hear that a lot about people. Well, I'm just I'm just terrible with money, it's just who I am. And we have to honour the fact that for a lot of people it's just a normal part of their living because they've lived with it for so long, not just in terms of they were once someone and now they're someone else, but actually they saw their parents doing it, they've grown up being like it, they've never experienced anything different, and that's not their fault, like in any way, shape, or form. Like, we have to fully honour that. That but what it really comes down to with being self-aware of saying I saw my parents do it one way, and I've seen how my life turns out, I can see the opportunities out there for me, and I can see where I'm now holding myself back and where I don't want to be the same. Like, I can very easily sit and say that my previous anger issues and my, you know, anxiety and my attachment in relationships and my overthinking was just who I was, and my being terrible with money was just who I was because my mother was like it. But then it's also about getting to an age in your life where you take responsibility and you say, I didn't like how I was treated, so I'm not going to be that person, and taking that responsibility of life gets to be different, and I choose for it to be different. And so many people don't want to do that, they don't want to do the hard work because it sucks. Like, I'm not gonna put it in a pretty bow and tell you it's the best thing in the world. Like when you're in it, it sucks, it really sucks. You go through all of the motions of, hey, let me heal this thing, and then you have the anger and the feeling of time being wasted, and the frustration and the resentment towards that person, and then you roll through the next motion of finding peace and letting it go and just be coming content and not hating someone because you understand why they did it, but also that level of I don't want to actually have a relationship with you. And then, of course, the universe comes in and goes, Hey, I know that you've been trying to run away from this and you've been healing it and get away from it, but let me just test you one more time to make sure that's actually what you want. So you then have to have another level of healing, and it is that concept of you can either choose to be like your parent and just moan about it for the rest of your life and wonder why nothing can ever works out the way that you want it to be, or you can actively choose to face the hard work and be in the mess, in the struggle, and entirely change your life, knowing that you don't just change your life, you're changing your children's lives as well, you know, and that changes their children's lives, and you're changing that legacy, and it comes back to that legacy that we don't see, but everybody feels.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I I actually had this conversation on the weekend. Someone quite close to me was uh they were saying, Well, you can help the way you feel, you know, things are just the way they are, and I remember saying to them, I said, No, people do change. I said, You can you can change a script, you can rewire your brain, you can, you know, these these things have improved now, you know, neuroplasticity, you know, when you learn a new language, when you learn a musical instrument, the shape of your brain changes. I said, an old dog new tricks and all these different analogies, but you can do it, and and I know a lot of people my age and older will say, Oh no, I can't change. That's my identity, and I can't shift it, and they don't want to do the work and they don't want to change. But on the other side of that, you know, no matter how how hard, how long it's gonna be, it is so worth it. It's trying to convince these people that they can do it when these ingrained beliefs are so deep, is it's tough, like you said.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, for sure, and it is it really is that level of people have to want to do it. You know, you there's that old saying you can lead a horse to water, you can't teach it to drink. And you know, we always have to remember we learnt, we've learned to live this way, so we can learn to live a new way. It's simple, it's just learning.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, we can unlearn it, exactly. So the women that you work with, Emma, what's the biggest thing that that holds them back? Is it the fear of judgment? Is it the fear of success? Is it the fear of being too much?

SPEAKER_02

Surprisingly enough, it's not so much of a fear, it's a need to prove themselves. You know, I've had women that have come to me that they want to be a coach, but every time they try to build a coaching business, they burn out. You know, and what it's actually boiled down to is like we discussed earlier, that sometimes we know we are supposed to be an entrepreneur, we know that we are supposed to be successful, but we take the journey that we think is going to be the easiest to get there. And for the longest time, coaching's been displayed as that journey. And what a lot of people then come and find is they know they're meant to be this successful person, but they're trying to prove themselves, they're trying to go with the status quo. And when we break down that level of, well, I don't need to prove myself anymore. What is it that I actually want? They want candle businesses, they want, you know, pencils and pen businesses, they want a dog walking business, and it's all the things that would be considered quote unquote normal, quote unquote the true freedom. It wouldn't look, you know, extremely successful on paper, but it's what they want to do. And as we know, when you are in alignment with the very thing that you want to create in your life, nothing is gonna stop you. It becomes so much easier, and I think that is the most beautiful thing, like with this work, is the clients that then go, shit, I've been trying to prove myself this entire time to everybody around me. But when I go and do the thing that I actually want to do, I'm not feeling the resistance. I'm not feeling tired by it, I'm not feeling like it's a struggle, I'm not feeling like it's where I've got to be right here, right now. I will get there in my own time. And I think the most beautiful thing that I've experienced with my business and the way I now help women is I've had women that have come to me from being in domestic violence relationships, they've had their children have seen things, the children are showing early signs of trauma. But because of the work that we do together, their children are then showing up differently. Because as a mother, they are more present, as a mother, they are more calm, they are more happy, they are more fulfilled in love with themselves, and their children then respond in the most happiest, excited. They feel all of the love, they feel that level of safety. And to me, if I had clients that never ever went into business, they never made any money, but yet that was the outcome that they created every time. Always worth it. Always worth it because we're not just changing a single person, we are quite literally creating the ripple effect, the impact that we came for, and that hand on heart just revolves around everything that I do for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Do you think everyone's cut out for entrepreneurship? Because we both know it's tough.

SPEAKER_03

I think that's a difficult question because I think deep down everybody is.

SPEAKER_02

And I do truly believe that everybody deep down is, but I also believe that not everybody is willing to do the work to be able to become successful in it. Because it is tough. It's you know, the the reason they say it's personal development on crack is because it is. And if you're not willing to face your demons, like you're never gonna become cut out for it. And we have to admit there is some people out there that just don't want it, they don't want to be an entrepreneur, they want to go to their nine to five, they want to come home, they want to live their life, they want their weekends off, great for them. It doesn't mean they're not cut out for it, it's just not what they want at the end of the day. And I think that's a really great ownership that they can have. But I think if you're sitting there and asking yourself, where am I cut out for this? You have to ask yourself, what am I not willing to move out the way in order for it to happen? Because you're always cut out for it. But if you don't believe that you're cut out for it, you won't ever be. And that's what it comes down to is the bottom line of believing that you are cut out for it, believing in yourself, in your abilities, and the most biggest thing of all, believing that no matter what happens, you are going to be okay because you have you. And that's what makes someone cut out for being an entrepreneur. And that doesn't just come with waking up one day and just deciding, it comes by taking the steps to shift and change who you are and do the personal development, even when it feels messy. Like if you're someone that doesn't want to do that, then yeah, maybe I'm contradicting myself and you're not cut out for entrepreneurship here because you don't want to face the hard stuff. You're looking for the easiest and quickest route, you're not gonna get there, you're gonna be chasing your tail, so you're not cut out for it. Go stay in your nine to five, you know, and keep the easy style of life, but if you want to be able to really believe in yourself, it has to be that that's what makes you cut out for it for sure.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, I think it goes back to what we were saying before, where um many of us want to take the path of least resistance, and I think as an entrepreneur, you've got to be in there for the long game, and you've got to keep believing in yourself and push through that resistance. Um, we were speaking about it quite in depth before before we hit record, but uh yeah, it is a tough old game. But what do you think is the difference between someone who quits too early and someone should just pivot? Because I follow uh Stephen Bartlett from Darive CEO. I absolutely love that podcast, and he's always said that he is a really good quitter because I I know in uh the entrepreneur space of hustle and grind people uh people say, don't they, that you should never quit, you should keep going. But he's always said that he is a great quitter. He's pivoted many, many times, he knows when to get out and to shift and to move on to something else. So, what is your take on that, Emma?

SPEAKER_02

I think the minute it's making you so unhappy, the minute you are getting up and you are dreading what you are doing every day. I don't think it's ever time to quit, but it's also time to refine and pivot. You know, it depends on what your version of quitting is. Like for me, quitting means that's it, I'm closing everything down, I'm not doing it ever again. Like that to me is quitting. Pivoting literally means this isn't working for me. It's actually burning me out, making me extremely unhappy. Because what we always have to remember, like, is what we start doing and what we end up becoming are two totally different things. Like, for me, I started as a toxic relationship coach, but deepened my own relationship so much and have moved on so far in life to that version of me who built the toxic relationship business, that it no longer felt good to talk about what I was selling. I think that's the biggest thing. When it no longer feels good, when it feels like a struggle, you know, because business is hard to build for sure, but it shouldn't have to feel hard to create. And that's a difference. And if if you feel like you're constantly pushing a rock uphill that never seems to get lighter, it's time to change the rock. And for me, when I then started to come into that level of I'd hit burnout, and it was like, I have no choice, I need to change this. This really isn't working for me anymore. You know, the people messaging me, I could not stand them. Like that's the point blank line of it. Like people were messaging me, and I was just reading these messages, just thinking, oh, just get on with it yourself. Like when you know you've got to that point, it's like it's way too far gone. You should have pivoted by now. Because ultimately you're the one that's living in it every day. So if it's not lighting you up, if it's not exciting you, if it doesn't make you feel like you're becoming a better person and you're evolving and you are growing, it's time to shift it and change it. Because there is only so much growth that you can do when you constantly keep hitting a ceiling. And that for me was with my toxic relationship business. I felt like it was the one part of my life that was keeping me stuck in the past, and I wasn't living there anymore. And that's the thing. If you feel like your business is keeping you stuck in the past and you're no longer living there, and it's actually just exhausting to keep coming back, it's time to let it go. There's no shame in letting these things go, it just helps you reach your next level. And sometimes it might feel like it takes forever to get to the next level, but if it's truly aligned, it will be the very thing that keeps firing your fuel every single day, like we were discussing earlier. Like, why do you keep doing this? Because there's a fire in my belly that never goes out. Because I love what I do and I'm passionate about what I do. You know, if you can't provide genuine passion for what you do anymore, you're doing the wrong thing. That's when you know.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, you need to have that energy. For me, like three years ago, I started out as an affiliate marketer, and then my second year I got into coaching, and then my third year, now I'm getting into podcasting. So for me, it is forever evolving. Now, some people might say to me, you failed as an affiliate marketer, but I'll say, well, no, because I know as the podcast grows, as my coaching business goes, I will carry on doing affiliate marketing. I still do it a little bit now even. Obviously I'm still coaching as well. And yeah, it's it's all part it is part of the journey. And like you were saying, nothing you're never failing. You're constantly learning and you're evolving and you're growing. And yeah, I just think it's a really, really important message for people that are getting into this space that that want to pivot and they don't know whether to give up. But yeah, they can pivot. They can try something else. And I think you're never ever like in this game all the successful people that you see online they never they're never doing the same thing that they started to years ago decades ago are they? They've changed so much and and that's what it's all about.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah for sure and I think you know it's it's always important to remember that your business your brand should grow with you. Like it's not meant to be a one size fit at all. It's meant to grow with you and I and I'm sure like you've just said there like you still do parts of your affiliate marketing. If I didn't do a toxic relationship coaching business I wouldn't love trauma so much. Like we start these things and just because they're no longer working for us doesn't mean that everything about that thing is no longer working for us. Like we were meant to go on that journey for a reason. It's just down to you and like we were saying earlier today that it comes down to what you choose to take away from it. You know, failure is only feedback. So you're never failing. You're only growing like it's down to you what you choose to take from that. And if you want to choose to sit and sob and tell yourself you're failing, I'm never going to do it again and I'm just going to stay stuck in this like boo you is is the end result of that because the only person that is suffering then is you. And because your energy is low because you know you're not happy everybody in your space is going to feel that and eventually you won't have a business you'll burn out you'll hate what you do and burnout is one of those things that and I can say from experience it will be the thing that breaks your identity to make you the person that you become like my burnout put me in bed for three months. Like I had to break every part of my being to become someone different to get better from it and you then lose your business in an essence it goes away you know because you can't have the capacity to do it. So pivot before you burn out enjoy your life and do what we've kind of already said about love in the process. If you're not loving the process something's not quite right for you what is your message then Emma to anyone thinking about starting a business right now my message would be to come into it with the understanding that you're not going to get to the end result tomorrow because we are in a world now where especially if you're going into like a personal development coaching space where people have a lack of trust. It's not that we are in a lack mindset anymore. It's just there has been a lot of scams out there scams are more present now than ever you have to be so strong in knowing who you are because you're going to shift and change so much on this journey. And knowing that it's gone are the days of it taken you know seven times for someone to see you before they buy it takes six to seven months now for someone to consistently see you before they buy. And that's okay but you have to be so self-assured in yourself of knowing that you are doing this for more than just money. You are doing this for more than just freedom you are doing it because someone somewhere in your heart knows this is what's meant for you that that's what's going to get you to the other side. And don't ever sit and base your success off someone else because they started in a different time a different journey and not everybody tells the truth. You have to take things with a pinch of salt and that really comes back down to having that level of self-trust that you are always where you are right meant to be to get to the other side because otherwise if you don't you will end up spiraling in the online space thinking that you're falling behind, buying things that you don't need to buy and the list goes on. So it really comes down to a level of self-trust and loving the journey over rushing to get there tomorrow.

SPEAKER_01

What advice would you give your younger self then Emma with everything that you've learned yourself in the online space over the last few years?

SPEAKER_02

And that's maybe just a little message from her to me and and vice versa but if I could give her any advice it would be to love yourself enough you know the biggest thing the biggest gift you can give yourself is your own self-love and the everything is going to destroy you. It's only going to build you back up again. So you keep standing yourself you keep standing tall and love yourself enough to hold yourself steady in this time and never make a decision when you're not sure. Just keep showing up and doing your thing every day and you will get the clarity that you're looking for at some stage. It might not be right now it might not be tomorrow but it will come. So you just got to keep believing that you are worth the result that you're looking for what does the next chapter look like for you then Emma and where can people find you so the next chapter now looks like for me is building this new style of my niche in a way that feels good for me and living my life in accordance to that and really coming home to my own level of personality you know for so long I haven't been able to experience that. So now it's it's doing it in a way that's not prouding and loving myself along that journey. And if anybody wants to join me on that journey they can find me the best place is Instagram and that's just Emma underscore J underscore Walsh and that is where I am definitely the hottest on um that's where obviously stories are so great because I just pop my daily life through there all the time. So definitely come and find us on there and we can have a chat and you can see how the journey is unfolding thank you so much for coming on today Emma.

SPEAKER_01

It really was powerful stuff. It's great to chat and catch up after all these years and it's great to talk about real stuff in the ultrapreneurial space because I really think that a lot of it is sugar coated nowadays as we've spoken about with you it's it's broad it's your authentic your approach your stories they always make me laugh you in the tractor with with the dogs and um yeah it's um it's good stuff. So just keep on doing what you're doing shine in that light and it's your energy that for you that's what it's all about and and people feed off that energy and we've spoken about energy quite a few times tonight but um yeah just keep on showing up and yeah well we'll have to do this again anyway because there was loads of stuff other stuff that I want to talk about but we've run out of time because you've got to get to netball.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah it's an important game we need these things to let off steam take care Emma thank you and you Luke thank you so much cheers Emma bye bye bye