Episode 005 - Brittney Cardenas

Through Christian counseling and the “New Life in Christ” class at TGOCM.org, Brittney experienced a deep shift, realizing she is not the problem nor the solution, but that true freedom comes from Christ’s finished work. Stepping away from social media and the fitness industry created space for truth to replace noise, allowing her to rebuild her identity on who God says she is rather than appearance or performance.

The conversation explores:

•  The damaging impact of early body image messaging and industry pressure 
•  The hidden weight of “performing” in fitness and social media 
•  Postpartum struggles and surrendering control 
•  The importance of pruning seasons for spiritual growth 
•  Breaking free from shame and embracing identity in Christ 

Brittney now approaches motherhood with intentionality, speaking truth over her daughter’s identity beyond physical beauty. The episode closes with a strong message for women battling shame, reminding them that in Christ they are fully forgiven, pure, and already enough.

The central theme is clear: freedom comes from knowing and believing the truth, not striving to fix yourself.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:01

This is the Preserve Podcast, where we continue the conversation beyond our print publication. I'm Ashley, your host and creative director at Preserve. I'm talking to Brittany Cardenas. She is one of my good friends who I met years ago at a Bible study. We both connected on the love for the truth. We ended up being friends with similar people and ended up in the same program. And so it's just so fun to have her on the podcast today to share about the things that she has grown through. So hello, Brittany.

SPEAKER_01 0:35

Hi. Thanks for having me, Ash. I was really honored that you reached out. And it also is perfect timing because a couple sermons ago at church, our pastor was talking about just letting our story be a personal testimony and the fact that God has trusted us with our story to steward that wisely and to help encourage other people. So it's perfect timing.

SPEAKER_02 0:55

So start with an icebreaker. What are you wearing and why did you choose to wear that today?

SPEAKER_01 1:00

I was so excited to hear that you're gonna ask this because I was actually reflecting at lunch on what I'm wearing with my husband and my mom. I have this white pinstriped jacket that I actually wore. The only other time I've worn it besides today was when I went to get my marriage certificate with my husband. I picked it out and it was like just yeah, a fun, fun, cute, like whitish outfit. And I was super pumped to wear it. And we also went to church this morning. So I was like, you know what? I'm gonna put a little blazer on and yeah, feel really fresh and fun. And then I also realized when I got on with you, actually, my hairstyle, I don't know if you can see it, it's these little bubble braids. And the first time I wore this was when I was in preserve. Back in pictures, yeah, you'll you'll see the same little bubble braid. And that was not literally not intentional. I must have just been like channeling my inner preserve. And so that's my hair. That's my jacket. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

So cute. You look amazing. I'd loved you for you to give us a background on your testimony, where it started, your upbringing, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

Yeah, loaded question. I could probably talk for hours on this, but I think I'll come from the lens of body image issues and my extensive experience in fitness, because that illuminated a lot of those issues and also helped deepen my faith because of those insecurities. So I guess it started when I was three years old. I grew up a dancer. I always loved performing and being in the spotlight, so to speak. I just had a talent for that. And I danced competitively in college. But one thing I'd shared with you before we recorded was just there was so much turmoil going on in my personal life when I went to school and mixed that with the peer pressure of college and the first time being away, I just can see now that the enemy loved that. He ate that up, he fed me so many lies. And at the time I didn't know the truth enough to counter those lies. And I was lost. And it physically manifested with back pain and, you know, illnesses and anxiety and mental health, just challenges and feeling lost and so confused on where to go. But at the same time, my career in fitness was taking off. So even though I was dealing with all this stuff internally, I just was the type of person that buried it and didn't let it show and continued to bury through. Even through a super traumatic event that I'd went through, I still pushed on in my career. I ended up becoming a personal trainer and worked for some really, really successful, impactful trainers down in San Diego. My career kind of evolved from there in fitness. I ended up launching my own business during COVID to help women online. And I really had a genuine passion for serving women. But it's just so interesting to look back because I was struggling personally. And I really, I think I did a pretty good job of making my mess my message and sharing vulnerably the body image issues that I went through. But it just became really hard to separate me wanting to look a certain way and be a certain part to fill a certain role that I thought other people needed me to fill to be the ideal personal trainer, versus doing it from a place of like empowerment. It was really hard to walk that line for me. I guess to zoom forward to where we are today, I ended up stepping away from my business after, gosh, it was maybe six years. Yeah, a little less than that, maybe five years. And it grew to be really successful. I was able to help close to 200 women directly with their health. And I love the impact I was able to make in their life. But now being married and having a daughter and having gone through a really difficult postpartum season, I needed to focus on myself. I needed to get to the root of like why I still felt these insecurities. And having a daughter actually was really redeeming for me in a lot of ways. And I was able to take a step back from the business, step away from social media and flood my mind with the truth and plug into teachings about my new life in Christ and my identity in Christ and who what it means to be a godly wife. And where I am today is so different than when I started my online fitness business. But I just love sharing that because I started messy, right? It wasn't perfect. And because I put myself out there, God was able to guide me and teach me and prune me along the way. I didn't wait on the sidelines. I really put myself out there and made a difference. I'm thankful to be where I'm at today and learning again who I am in Christ versus what the world says about me or what I should look like.

SPEAKER_02 5:40

Looking back, what would you say was like the unspoken message that you believed about worth or beauty?

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Yeah. I mean, it was simple, it's simple. I just didn't never felt enough. I didn't feel that I looked enough. I didn't feel that I was smart enough. I didn't feel like my voice was worthy to be heard. And so that internalized in a lot of insecurities, but also me trying to put on this almost like a facade or curate what people thought of me. And so I didn't show up authentically. I was afraid to like really speak the truth and my story because I wanted to control what people thought of me. So it all comes back to not feeling enough.

SPEAKER_02 6:18

As a dancer, was there certain pressures for you to look a certain way or act a certain way?

SPEAKER_01 6:27

I will say that there was vocal expectation of a look. We had to be really lean. We were wearing half tops and we were performing for big football and basketball games in front of thousands of people. There was a huge expectation. And like, yeah, it was vocalized from coaches. This is what you are to look like. That wasn't the first time I'd heard that in my life. When I was maybe 10 years old, I had a dance teacher. I'll never forget this. She was a sweet old lady, but she was super old school Russian. I was in the Nutcracker ballet and I was a Spanish dancer. And it came time to try on costumes. And we'd already been in rehearsal for maybe, I don't know, four or five months. She held up a size, probably zero or two. At the time, I was probably like a size six or eight. I looked at the dress and said, that's too small for me. I'm not going to fit that. And she said to me, Well, you better stop eating then. That was the first time someone had ever told me, like, you would need to change your body to fit into this costume. I think I was maybe, what did I say, like nine or 10? I was young. Like for a young girl to hear that was so damaging. And that actually was what started a lot of like really just bad relationship with food and exercise that I had to work really hard to overcome and learn like how to have healthy relationships with both. How did you process that? I didn't. I internalized everything. It built up, and that's looking back now, contributed to so much anxiety. Yeah. You know, and fear and like insecurity, not feeling confident. So I didn't process it. It was really unhealthy. Um, I would say that I was probably forced to process it like more recently with the Lord, of course. And in trauma therapy, I really went back into like Christian counseling and therapy from my birth experience. It was a pretty traumatic experience. But you know, when you go, when you step into therapy and you open up that can of worms, so to speak, like you get into you get into the backlog of things. And that was really where I started to process things. So it ended up being a huge blessing. Like I said, Camila, my daughter has been so redeeming. Like in my life, I've grown so much. But that's where I really processed it in my private time with the Lord and with friends. I've made a lot of really good mom friends that have had similar stories, and you naturally just process it in fellowship with other women who were seeking Christ and wanting to show up as godly moms and wives. So multiple outlets to process now, but at the time, nothing.

SPEAKER_02 8:55

You shared about using food to cope with difficult emotions. Did you recognize that pattern? Oh, this is this is an unhealthy pattern that I have with food.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

I would say subconsciously, of course I knew. Like I'm thinking about specifically in college. Like I imagine very vividly I was sitting in the cafeteria across from the dorm eating a salad with nothing but balsamic and sesame seeds. So bare minimum, just to eat as little as possible. And like, of course, I felt unhealthy doing that. You know, like how could I be happy and joyful and energetic as a young, budding college kid who is had a double major, getting up 8 a.m. every single day? How was my brain functioning? No wonder I had anxiety. Like, of course, I knew it at the time, but I struggled with knowing how to move out of it. That's where I just didn't have a foundation built. I hadn't built my sense of self, my confidence in the Lord and what he said about me. I didn't have that foundation to reorient myself back on track.

SPEAKER_02 9:57

You mentioned going through Christian counseling and then also going into a class called your new life in Christ class. And those were both a pivotal shift for you. You could either talk on one or the other, but kind of how did those, either even in combination, how did those help break through the lies that you were believing?

SPEAKER_01 10:17

Yeah, I'll speak to the New Life in Christ class first. That was, I will say, I mean, Jesus is always gonna be the answer and the solution to everything, to physical, to mental healing. And that class was the first time that I really felt this sense of that it wasn't all on me to fix everything. I'm not the problem, and I'm also not the solution, you know? That is so liberating when you've been on this path of not feeling good, of being anxious, of being insecure. The world is gonna tell you, oh, if you're insecure, read this book and fix yourself up or take this personal development course, right? Oh, you need to have a more dialed-in morning routine, or oh, you need to just stick to a more consistent exercise routine or whatever it is. And those things can be good, but they can easily become idols. I worked in the personal development industry. I was a coach. I'm so used to helping people move forward, but it got unhealthy, right? And so new life in Christ class was actually really liberating for me to learn that I'm not the problem or the solution and that seeking Christ and accepting and agreeing with his finished work is everything. And so I would say in Christian counseling, that was a really good place for me to have a safe place to process things that I wasn't even sometimes comfortable sharing with other Christians or even spouse or partner. There's just some things that you just need to have a completely objective person to confide in, someone who's also seeking Christ and can steer you. That was really the best, most helpful thing about Christian counseling is having just a really safe space to process and to pray and to get some guidance as as far as like the spiritual walk. But um new life in Christ class and just really learning my identity and what I get to take part in because of Christ finished work, those freedom and what that looks like, the reality of what we live in because of Jesus. That was the most liberating thing and still continues to be, right? It's a work in progress, like daily reminding myself of those things. When did you start counseling? I started four months postpartum when I was in the thick of it. I was really struggling. But it started as like a little bit of the baby blues, and I'd had previous um bouts of depression and anxiety, panic attacks and whatnot. I really struggled postpartum, and so that's when I sought out, you know, as much help as I could get.

SPEAKER_02 12:37

Yeah. Did you notice it or did your husband notice it?

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Oh, yeah, for sure. Both. Yeah. I noticed it. Yeah, both, all the above. I knew because I'd experienced it before. It's very different though, in terms of like, yeah, it just was really, a really unique, I think, season of challenge. But I could tell, you know, and I just wasn't feeling myself. And sleep deprivation was adding to that, just not feeling mentally, mentally clear, or even able to like just remind myself of the power of my own mind. Even that was really hard to feel to feel like I had a sound mind. Of course, I I knew I did, but it became harder to like remind myself of that. It was it was tough.

SPEAKER_02 13:21

Everything's so new, and you're so excited, you have the baby, and then all of a sudden it just hits. You know, and you're like, wait, I'm sad. Why am I sad? Why am I feeling this way? There's still this very real, like walking it out, pushing against those feelings of darkness and saying, Well, no, the truth is the truth, and the truth is real, and I'm gonna accept the truth over what I'm feeling.

SPEAKER_00 13:42

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 13:44

You felt that pressure to feel like you had to fit into being smaller than the size that you were. And then during pregnancy, gaining that weight, how is that different for you?

SPEAKER_01 13:56

Yeah. So to catch your listeners up, if they like, yeah, I'm sure many of them haven't heard my story, but I, long story short, put on a lot of weight during pregnancy, 75 pounds. And it's not the number that matters. I had a lot of swelling and complications towards the very end of my pregnancy. It was really challenging, Ashley to navigate health and body image at that time compared to previous. I felt like pregnancy was a whole new ballgame. And there was a lot that it was actually out of my control. Obviously, being a new nutritionist, I know the power of good nutrition. And so I did fuel my body right away with the building blocks of healing. I'd had a C-section. So I knew I needed good nutrition to heal. And so I didn't shy away from taking care of myself, but it also came from a place of like, I have a baby to take care of now, you know? So my motives were, I think, a lot more pure and aligned with like who I am. My relationship with food was definitely more wholesome postpartum because I knew I needed to heal. I mean, I'd had surgery. I was breastfeeding trying to take care of this little one. I was like, I need to be able to lift her and get myself out of bed and be able to shower again after C-section. You can't even sit up. It's so hard. And that I've never had a surgery before. So that was wild. But it, like I said, it was helpful to have a background in nutrition because I knew exactly what to do to like support my body physically and healing. But I also had to surrender a lot of it. That's when I also learned during birth is like you don't have a lot of control, right? He's gonna empower you with your breath and his word and other people, of course, but there's so much that you have to submit and surrender. And so I kind of surrendered my like weight loss journey at that point. I didn't put pressure on myself to lose the 75 pounds. I'm like, okay, Lord, if there's one thing I've learned from giving birth, that's just to surrender this and hand this over to you and allow you to grow me and walk me through this in whatever way and whatever pace you need to. So I was a lot more, I don't want to use the word carefree, but I didn't put pressure on myself. I'd already had enough trauma going on. So it was very different than past seasons where I did put that pressure on myself. And I always tried to lose weight for a certain event or in a certain time frame. Um she's just wanting to say hi. So there was a lot more pressure previously, but this time around I just didn't have that pressure.

SPEAKER_02 16:13

When you were 10 and you were asked to fit into or to lose weight, what did you do with that?

SPEAKER_01 16:21

I was close with my grandma, my dad's mom. She was a person that I'd I'd process things with, but um, and I want to say this with love, she's past now, and that's a story for another day. But she had a lot of I would say unhealthy relationship with food too. So I, long story short, did not really have anyone to confide in. And that's something I've had to grow to be at peace with and give forgiveness to the people that maybe should have been there for me that that weren't. I've had to grow in that forgiveness and also learn how to be that person for myself and how to go to the word and not put expectations on on other people, you know, which is not easy when sometimes they they should be there for you, you know. You have to kind of grieve a little bit of the loss of maybe some key relationships that that weren't quite there for you when when they should have been.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

Yeah, I can understand that. I'm just so thankful to know that that it's not on us to figure it all out because Christ is really the solution for everyone. And we all have stuff that we're gonna we have to bring to the cross and say Christ died for that. We get to lean on that. Like we're not the problem and we're not the solution. What a relief.

SPEAKER_01 17:34

No, literally, yeah. And it is relieving as a mom to not feel like you have to be perfect with everything because you do have so many questions, especially as a first-time mom. You really don't know. And you're walking minute by minute, day by day, week by week through so many changes, right? Our kids are always evolving. And so you don't, there is no perfect plan. And each kid is different, right? So surrendering that and allowing God to lead you each step of the way and reminding yourself of like that childlike relationship that you have with the Lord. That was so nourishing and life-giving for me to like come back to in my healing journey is being like, God, I'm I'm your little girl. You're my heavenly father, right? And to have that childlike relationship with him was a really beautiful element of my growth and my maturity in Christ is learning how to relate to God in that way, not just fearing him from a distance, but walking with him and seeking him for comfort and being authentic and just curling up and getting a hug from him, just that comfort, not actually, but you guys know what I mean. Like just feeling that comfort and that surrounding love and peace that we get from our heavenly father.

SPEAKER_02 18:34

Have you seen the new movie David? No. Okay. You have to go see it. You have to watch it. You can rent it on Amazon. But it's so good. There's a scene where you're watching him shepherd the flock. And it's just so incredible. Just how they portrayed him. So excited to take care of the sheep. So excited to see each one, to call them by name, to protect, to provide for them. Like what you're saying, it's when you really just think about like the basics, like God just gets so excited just to like be with us. I love you. You're like you said, my daughter. And just sitting in that is brings so much freedom and security.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

Yeah, definitely. Amen.

SPEAKER_02 19:27

You said you stepped away from social media and the fitness industry. What shifted when the noise of that world stopped?

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Yeah, I finally could absorb the truth. And who is it that explained it this way? I feel like, oh, it's Mike Rofi, your father-in-law. He he explains it like when you walk up to a restroom, you as a woman, you walk into the women's restroom knowing that that's your gender, right? You don't go to the men's and sit there or like or question. It's just, it's automatic. And so removing the noise of social media allowed me this space to have the truth be more automatic and not have to work so hard, I guess, to remind myself you are righteous, you are justified, you are worthy because you were bought at a high price. Jesus paid it all for you. Like all those things are they're more automatic now than they were before. Of course, I still have room to grow in that, but removing the noise helps helps me so much to be able to, you know, have the truth be just something that is so natural to live and walk out.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

I want to talk a little bit more. So the fitness and weight loss industry comes with a whole host of pressures. I'd love to hear what was the one or two biggest challenges that you faced during that time.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

I think just uh pressure, because you are your own billboard for me as the business owner and the coach. I was also the marketing specialist and the sales specialist. It's all on you to not only perform behind the scenes in terms of like your own productivity of driving the business forward, but then you also have to put yourself out there externally to share your story. There's just pressure, whether that's literal pressure from the industry, like your content literally doesn't get views unless you have your skin exposed or like six-pack. There's actual evidence that people who post that way get more views. But then there's also just that pressure to constantly be on and to constantly be sharing your story. I didn't learn this until I stepped obviously away and got clarity on all this, but I'm like, I never gave myself a chance or gave God the chance to work. In my heart, because I was always just so focused on performing and being on and showing up and posting every day. I didn't get that growth time. I imagine like a rose bush. I think of this actually often when I'm going through like a growth season. That pruning process is so vital to our maturity in Christ because we need to consistently be pruned in order for that fruit to grow more. And I never allowed that pruning process to happen. It was just always go, go, go. So that was a mental, emotional stressor for me and prohibited me, like I said, from facing a lot of the insecurities and just confronting the lies that I'd believed. When you believe a lie for so long and you live according to that, you don't even stop to question it. I think I answered your question. I mixed the social media stuff in with that one.

SPEAKER_02 22:49

Yeah, for sure. Yeah. I just pruned our fruit trees. When I'm doing it, God is just reminding me that even though the tree looks terrible for a season because it's so trimmed back and it's just not pretty. The following year, the fruit is so much better. And I know people who haven't trimmed back their tree or what seasons where they haven't. And the fruit doesn't taste that great. And our fruit is so sweet, it's incredible. But it also takes that trimming it back and like, oh wow, this is really ugly. And almost questioning sometimes, did I trim it back too much? This is like us in the earlier days and seasons of our walk with Christ, which I'm still in that, where we are just needing so much pruning because there's so much, right? That's getting brought to the surface that needs to be trimmed off to then bear this good, sweet fruit, just keeping that perspective. God has used our fruit trees to just minister to me over and over again whenever I look at them like this is what growth in Christ looked like. And one being patient, but also trusting the process of the pruning and even picking the fruit, like just down to everything. It's incredible. And then we get to enjoy that fruit. And we get so much fruit that we are sharing with our neighbors and we're sharing with people around us, we're juicing and saving it for later. It creates such an abundance that it overflows, not just to bless our family, but it blesses other people around us. So, in the same way, when we do allow that pruning to happen, it produces this good fruit later that then is ministering to you, but also to those around you. And it's amazing that God designed it that way. Um I want to know were there any non-negotiables that you had when you were in the industry where you were like, I will not do this, even if it was norm in the industry? Did you have any of those?

SPEAKER_01 24:49

Gosh, I feel like there are, but I can't really let me pinpoint one and be able to describe it. Like non-negotiables of things that I wouldn't do. I think honestly, I've grown so much in this past year that like if I was to answer that question from the perspective of who I am now, if I started the same business now, I would not be willing to modify my body using AI. There's so much editing. And it's crazy. My husband and I will sit on the couch and even watch not like a non-fitness video. And then one of the first questions we ask ourselves now is like, is that real? I could get into it. Like, I'm sure we've seen some wild AI things out there. But if I was to start a fitness business, I would, I would refuse to do that because the whole, my whole intention with nutrition and fitness is to help women show up more authentically and boldly. And if I'm modifying my body or telling a lie, this isn't real, whether it's an image or a message or whatever it is, like that is directly contrary to what I want to accomplish and just sends the wrong message to women that, oh, actually, yeah, you do have to alter your body. You're not good enough the way God made you. You know, like that's so that would be where I would put my foot down and be a complete non-negotiable editing my body. And this is also coming from the place of I used to make edits. I would do little tweaks, right? So like in the past, I didn't have the same conviction that I do now. And that's why I wanted to answer that question from where I am now. And the power of the truth is it really does set you straight and orient you back on the path of God and his righteousness. I didn't have those convictions before. I was willing to compromise because of a place of insecurity and pressure and lack and all that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_02 26:39

There is definitely the pressure to conform. We know that from the word, right? Don't conform to the world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind. Just sticking with the convictions that you know because it also does. It takes effort and intentionality to step out to go contrary to what the world is saying, to stick to the truth and to be willing to not, you know, whether that's alter your images or same thing with the fashion industry. There's brands that are starting to use AI models, which sets the standard for young girls, even our age, right? Where it's just like this unrealistic standard of beauty. It was already unrealistic because things were being edited, and now it's literally unrealistic because it's not real. It's literally not real. You can start to feel this pressure that you have to look that way and to be conformed to this image of the world, literally. It takes away that just that beauty and that uniqueness of being you to really cherish that and be excited about that and love that. It's so much more fun that we don't all look the same. It's so much more interesting, and it really goes back to the fact that we have this beautiful creator who created us all so uniquely with so many differences and there's so many variables, it points back to there has to be a creator of the heavens and the earth. There has to be something bigger than ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Oh, yeah. Yeah. First time you get pregnant and birth a baby, it's like if I'm gonna say this kind of bluntly, if you don't believe in God, I don't know what's gonna make you because it's just such a miracle. You're like, how in the world did a full human grow in me and then how that I birthed it out?

SPEAKER_02 28:32

Like what it is, it's incredible. Daily reminders of how amazing God is. What scriptures would you say? Is there any specific ones that you held on to when you were in the industry or coming out of the industry and during your postpartum season? Were there scriptures that you're that really helped you to renew your mind to what God says? There's times when you can just read the word, but it's not really landing. So for you, what would what did that look like?

SPEAKER_01 29:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I totally hear what you're saying, too, of like things being head knowledge and then you know, praying on that, that God would bring them to heart knowledge, that you actually really genuinely believe these things in your heart of hearts, and they're not just like, oh, these are great quotes that I've heard. No, this is what my heart and my soul actually feel. So, anyways, the first one, Psalm 127, verse three, and I'll read it. It says, Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of fruit of the womb, a reward. And this actually, to like my previous point, was something I'd heard, but I actually really struggled to believe that early on postpartum because I was frequently sad and anxious and overwhelmed and all these things. I'm like, Lord, you say that my children are a reward. This doesn't feel like a reward right now. Like right now, this doesn't feel that way, but I clung to that and I just held up the lie in contrast to the truth. I said, I am going to agree and choose to agree with you. This is what you say. So I'm just gonna, I'm gonna believe that. I'm gonna believe that this is a reward. And now on the other side, being, you know, two weeks past a year postpartum, it's such a reward. It's such a gift. I have so much more clarity and hindsight on this past year. I can see even the challenge of it was a redeeming gift and so necessary for me to face and to and to walk through. I've grown so much closer to God. And that's the point of everything, right? Like we're here to really just grow, grow close with Christ and and walk more fully in the manifestation of our faith in Him. So, anyways, that's that's one verse I think more pertinent to birth than postpartum in the first year. The other one, when I was going through like a lot of body image things, actually is, and this was actually like very post-college, I would say a little bit before my marriage a couple of years ago. Matthew 6, 33 is something that is one of my favorite verses. It says, But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. I just kept placing the kingdom and the truth first. I would orient my mind. It was a constant redirecting back to that. But anything that I felt that I wanted, whether that was peace from anxiety or freedom from depression or just relief from back or hip pain, all those things that I wanted, I knew would come from seeking God first and his righteousness, thinking about Christ being the righteousness that's a foundation to me being righteous, right? That's where it all starts. So that was a verse that I had clung to in terms of really overcoming just healing mentally, physically from insecurities. Um it's something that I will continue to remind myself of. It's a really powerful verse. And then John 8, 32, I wrote in my notes, um, this one is just so powerful that God's desire is for us to know the truth. So it says, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. This ties into the last one, too, that it's the truth that does the work to set us free. It's no longer on us, which is so free. And if you've struggled with insecurity, you feel like you've got to raise up your confidence and you've got to lose weight to finally be confident. As a coach, that was something I actually preach to people. Like, okay, once you're at your goal weight, you're gonna feel this way. Okay, no, not necessarily. It's the truth that sets you free from those things. It's totally transformed the way I view myself and how I encourage other women too.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

I'm gonna jump back real quick. How did you get into the industry?

SPEAKER_01 32:41

So I had a back injury my freshman year of college. It was that injury that ignited my passion for like physical therapy and for healing. I really wanted to learn how to take care of my body and overcome that back injury. And so I switched my major at San Diego State from being a dance major to a kinesiology major. Kinesiology is like, it's literally like movement. I emphasized in fitness. I wanted a really, you know, kind of like well-versed fitness background, not necessarily physical therapy. I wanted something that I knew I could do like forever, no matter what. And it was just a lot of nutrition, behavior change. So it all came from, yeah, an injury and me wanting to heal.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

Do you feel that line when you cross it to idolizing physical things versus renewing your mind to what God says?

SPEAKER_01 33:32

Yeah, 100%. I can see the clear difference. I have so much more discernment now of feeling like it's all on me to be healthy and the effects of fitness and exercise are all these great benefits, right? And sometimes you can easily believe that, like, oh, if I do these things, I'm gonna live forever or I'm gonna be the certain way. And I've surrendered that. I've submitted that more to Christ. I'm referring to that pressure because that's a lot of pressure to put on yourself. That is a lot of pressure. Yeah, it's a lot of pressure. And we still, I feel like believe it. It's it's so easy for the world to put that in our face. Like I mentioned earlier, your morning routine or your wind-down routine or the quality of your sleep. There's all these biohacking things, and you're talking to a biohacking nerd, right? I love you just in my supplement cabinet. Like I do, I nerd out on this stuff, but I love that you brought up that question because I'm able to check myself. I'm able to say, okay, am I idolizing this? Am I placing what my body looks like at the forefront of my identity and my worth? Or am I truly allowing what God says about me to take the forefront? I'm not perfect. I have to remind myself of that every day because it's that's just the area that the enemy wants to get in, right? It's like that's been the spot. So I'm aware of it. And I think that awareness is really key, knowing what your triggers are and where the enemy wants to get in, and then contrasting that with the truth daily, sometimes hourly.

SPEAKER_02 34:57

I love to ask you when you had a c-section, was that challenging for you? Correct me if I'm wrong, that you had an expectation of what your birth would look like.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

Yeah. So I went into it and like prepared for birth to be very short. Reason being, my mom had four kids completely unmedicated in less than four hours each. She had very smooth breastfeeding journeys. She breastfed all her kids with no problem. I really just thought, genuinely, that I was gonna have really smooth deliveries. I also took really good care of myself. I worked out like three to four times a week and still strength trained and ate really quality, dense nutrition at the time. I did all the things that I've always known to do. I was like, this is the time to really take care of myself. So I thought I had more control over the birth experience, you know? I prepared a ton. I took all the courses. I was just that mom that was like, I want to be fully prepared. And then it all went out the window, which I had a really hard time with. I shared this actually frequently on social media, like my full birth story and how I caused some anxiety for myself by having such a it was pretty rigid. I had an expectation. And when that started to deviate, I got really anxious about it. That's when I really felt things like slipping out of my grip and not really knowing what to do about it. And also just being genuinely afraid. I struggled with trust of the doctors. I didn't know if they were leading me in the right direction or what their true motives were. And, you know, I didn't have a relationship with the OBs that were there because the one that I'd been seeing wasn't on duty that day. And it was extremely difficult for me. I just was not peaceful, I wasn't happy, I wasn't having fun. It just was not enjoyable at all. And it was completely different than what I wanted. I had every medication under the sun, every intervention. My goal was an unmedicated birth. So I was pretty ticked off that like all these interventions were taking place. And it ended in an emergency c-section. It wasn't actually even something that I planned. We hadn't talked about it at all. I actually skipped over the course that talked about the c-section. I was like, oh, I'm not even gonna even consider that because I'm not gonna have a C-section. I'm gonna do a vaginal delivery. We weren't prepared. I think a lot of it was because I was so rigid on my birth plan and it just was traumatic all around.

SPEAKER_02 37:11

But moving forward, uh, what do you feel like you've learned that you would then go into your next birth differently?

SPEAKER_01 37:20

Just not trying to prepare as much. Like having the plan be no plan.

SPEAKER_02 37:25

Yeah. The biggest thing I've learned is a lot of prayer. More than anything, prayer. And for me, looking back where I'm like, oh, God, you were prompting me to change positions and not trying to think about the physical things too much because there's just too many variables to really try to figure it all out.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

Yeah, yeah, and do the what if, right? And to come up with the plan of like, oh, this if this happens and I'm gonna make this decision. You really just don't know until you're there. And I love that you brought that up that God guides you like even to the smallest little things, like, hey, move, move a little position here. It was so perfectly timed. Do you know what I mean? And that's yeah, he definitely showed up in that way for me when because the the OB gave me the op uh, she gave me the final say on whether or not we were gonna do a C-section or not. And I was like, obviously, yes, this is not going good. Babies under stress, like I give you a full green light. Even though that was the absolute hardest decision to make, it was 100% the right decision. I knew that. God gave me a very clear, like full throttle. We gotta get you on the table. So he does show up for you and make those decisions to any mom who's listening to this that might even be pregnant, but praying through it, surrounding yourself with the truth, because the enemy will prey on your vulnerability. He just he does that. He's evil, you know. Like when you're pregnant, you're very vulnerable and you gotta feed yourself with the truth. Uh, hormones are high, emotions are high. So you really have to root yourself in that sturdy foundation of the word.

SPEAKER_02 38:59

Yeah. What have you already experienced in terms of seeing body image and worth differently because you have a daughter and knowing you don't want her to deal with any of the things that you went through?

SPEAKER_01 39:15

Yeah. One of the first things I think so profound is catching myself and also other people when they say really frequently, you're so beautiful, you're so beautiful. Of course, she is literally so beautiful. Like if you see her, she's just so cute, right? Like from the outside, she's gorgeous. But that can't be the only thing I speak over her. I've caught myself saying that, oh, your hair is so beautiful, your eyes are so beautiful, yes, they are. But underneath that, it's because she's shining the light of Christ. And that was actually this morning I was sharing that with her. And I I literally talked to her as if she could like fully understand me. I'm like, your eyes just shine the light of Christ, and that's what makes you beautiful. And no one can ever touch that. Nothing you do or anybody else does will ever make a difference in you truly shining God's light. And that's what makes you beautiful, right? And I also have just spoken over her, you're justified, you are righteous, you're sanctified. Instead of just saying you're beautiful, because as a young girl, you do start to internalize. Oh, everyone thinks I'm beautiful. This is what gets attention from people, this is where my worth is, or this is what I can lead with in the world, or in order to get what I want, I can change the way I look. No, we're gonna lead from the heart. What makes you you is internal in what the Lord says about you. So, anyways, that's one of the things I've picked up on is like her like commenting about her looks too much.

SPEAKER_02 40:39

So speaking that life to them, even though they they can't understand what we're saying or they don't have the depth of understanding yet, speaking that because those words have life, power to them, because they're truth, it's just incredible.

SPEAKER_00 40:55

Yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Okay, wrapping up for any women that are listening, what would you say to her?

SPEAKER_01 41:07

It's a huge, it's a huge one, and it can be really subtle. Sometimes we don't even know that shame is the root of so many things that are holding us back from our voice or confidence, right? I think just what I feel God leading me to talk through is the purity that we have in Christ. He's turned a stained robe from crimson red to pure white. And I think that's so liberating. I don't know what shame whoever's listening to this might be facing, but so often it's rooted in just feeling dirty, you know. A lot of that ties back to things that have either been done to our bodies, maybe it's someone else, maybe it's things we've done to ourselves or mistakes that we've made that make us just feel dirty and unworthy. Reminding ourselves that we are pure in Christ and seeing ourselves from his lens instead of our own lens. When we look in the mirror, don't see yourself from your own eyes. Imagine how Christ would view you. He sees you as spotless. There's no condemnation in Christ because of Christ's finished work. He removed everything from our background, our whatever it is. Like I wanted to say like the word resume, but just I imagine you walking into a courtroom having committed a crime, the guilt that comes with that, right? God's the one that erases the punishment of all that. And you walk out of the courtroom, you're completely free, spotless. That sin isn't even associated with you. Like God doesn't see that when he looks at you, he sees Christ in you. That would be my encouragement. Something I speak over myself daily. I will definitely encourage my daughter in that way with any mistakes that she makes. I think shame is just so big for women. And I just want to represent that and walk that out. And for my testimony to be an encouragement to other women who are going through really deep, deep shame. When you blame it on the enemy, who's the father of all of this craziness, it actually helps you bring things to light because you realize, like we talked about earlier, you're not the problem. This wasn't all your fault. You know what I mean? And again, that's not a cop-out for you to not taking responsibility or working on the things that God is placing conviction on your heart or doing the pruning process that we talked about. But when you can accept that, you know, trace it back to Adam and Eve for you. She's gonna get so much blame when we see her. I'm like, it's all you, girl. Come on. But if you, I think actually making it lighthearted might be helpful, right? Of like, okay, this is original sin. Like it this wasn't me. It's not messed up. I'm not an awful person. My sin's not any worse than anybody else's sin. Like, sin is sin. And it was traced back to original sin. Like, take the weight off your shoulders and then just release what you think you're walking through, right? The enemy is really weighing me down. With XYZ right now. He's telling me that my shame or this mistake or this choice that I made is going to haunt me the rest of my life. And whatever it is, like bring it to light and God will continue to help you decide where to go next.

SPEAKER_02 44:13

I couldn't agree more with you, Britt. The truth is the foundation of everything. The truth will lead you into what God has called you to do, but it will also settle you into who you are. And that is the most important thing. You are qualified to do what you need to do with God, whether that's be a mom, be a wife, run a business, whatever it is, pray for someone you are qualified in Christ to do so, not because of your outward appearance, right? Because God doesn't look at the outward appearance, but God looks at the inward appearance of the heart. When he is looking at the inward appearance of the heart, which has now been transformed by the gospel, by Christ. Now you've been qualified to do the will of God here on earth, in whatever category that is. That shame, that condemnation, feeling not enough, not feeling like you have value. You have so much value in Christ because Jesus Christ died for you, because God so loved the world that He sent His only Son. I love what you said today, Britt. And I'm so thankful for you encouraging women in your story, sharing so vulnerably what you've gone through and how God has worked in your life, but also just knowing that there are women out there that need to hear this and need to hear honest conversations about body image and how the effects of social media and being in an industry where it is about appearance, how that does affect you.

SPEAKER_01 45:41

Thank you so much again for having me. I hope, yeah, any woman that listens to this is encouraged. This all is because of God. It's not because of me. I'm not any smarter, I'm not any more equipped or better networked than anybody else to have figure this out. It's not on me. It's on, it's on Christ. So keep seeking him. And um, yeah, he'll he'll bring it all to you.