Understanding Self Esteem

Today's episode focuses on better understanding what self esteem is through providing possible definitions, whilst increasing awareness that self esteem is a fluid concept that can differ throughout the various areas of your life. Take time to understand where you currently rate your self esteem and return in the future to explore ways to encourage healthier self esteem at this time.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Small Steps with me, your host Stephen Davis from Interactive Therapy. Today's episode will focus on defining the construct of self-esteem with the aim of creating a better understanding of how self-esteem can be influenced by the context of your environment and help clarify what may be shaping it. Future episodes will explore methods for challenging unjustified perspectives that may impact the health of your own self-esteem. We all judge ourselves in one way or another. These could be statements that we make out loud or thoughts that we reflect on silently. It could manifest in a feeling that is present or resonate deep in a core belief that shapes the very essence of who we are. We will judge ourselves positively, negatively or somewhere neutrally in the middle for each situation that we encounter on a day-to-day basis. These judgments can be constructive, allowing us to learn and grow, but they can also be destructive, getting in our way or hampering our progress. Our level of self-esteem plays an important role in this judgment process. But what exactly is self-esteem? A common definition is that self-esteem reflects confidence in one's own worth or abilities. Therefore, in this and other small steps to well-being, we will be considering the difference between a healthy self-esteem, which I define as the development of a realistic experience of your own worth and abilities, and how they can alter in different settings, versus an unhealthy self-esteem, which I define as having extreme positive or negative opinions of yourself while lacking adequate evidence to back up your claims. What is apparent is that self-esteem influences the way in which we interpret the information that we've been exposed to, which in turn will likely determine our thoughts and actions in response to the information. If you have a healthy self-esteem, then mistakes could be viewed as a chance to learn. Feedback provides an opportunity for dialogue and possible development, and obstacles are seen as the stimulus for innovation. Whereas if you have an unhealthy self-esteem, then mistakes could be interpreted as failure, feedback as criticism, and obstacles as a sign that you should probably just give up. It is important to highlight that self-esteem is often disconnected from our own perception of skill. You may be able to identify skills that you possess. They could be creative or artistic skills, or you may have a great understanding of numbers or be a good communicator. Furthermore, you've probably proven these talents you possess throughout your life. But rational appreciation of what you've done doesn't necessarily stop you from taking the downward spiral when you think something's gone wrong. Alternatively, it doesn't help you course correct even when all the signs suggest that you may have either overestimated your capabilities or encountered an event that you could not predict. For this reason, we look at self-esteem not as a switch that you can turn on or off, but believe that it's better characterized as a sliding scale. And as I've already mentioned, there may be a number of different sliders related to differing areas of your life, all set to different levels, and these may range from healthy to unhealthy. So the exercise related to this small step is for you to determine your existing levels of self-esteem in the differing areas of your life. Start by breaking down your life into discrete subjects. These could include your work, both paid and voluntary, relationships, which of course could be broken down further into relationships you have with family members, intimate partners, friends and colleagues, hobbies and activities that you engage in, and dreams or aspirations that you may have for the future. For each of these areas and any others relevant to your life, take some time to consider the confidence you have in your own worth and abilities within each area. Where do you currently lie on each scale? Now don't forget to consider context. You may rate yourself highly in one area, while acknowledging that the work you did to get there may not be sufficient to maintain that level. You may also underestimate yourself in one area, even though the evidence challenging this is available. This small step should help establish a starting point, and throughout the self-esteem related small steps, we will explore ways to build and maintain a healthy self esteem across all areas of your life when they require it. I hope you enjoy this small step and hope that you tune back in in the future to learn about more exercises that may help your self esteem. Goodbye for now.