Episode 14 - Dani Kaye

Segment 1: 

Join Cody and Mariah as they share personal updates, reflect on recent experiences, and explore the journey of self-improvement, resilience, and embracing life's challenges. This segment offers insights on becoming who you want to be, handling control and out-of-control moments, and the importance of taking action towards your dreams.

 keywords
self-improvement, motivation, life goals, resilience, personal growth, mental health, motivation, lifestyle, podcast

Segment 2: 

In this insightful interview, Dani Kaye shares her journey from medical assistant to nurse, discussing her experiences with elderly care, mental health, and the challenges within the healthcare system. She emphasizes the importance of empathy, patient advocacy, and the potential of technology in advancing medical care.

keywords
Healthcare, Nursing, Elderly Care, Mental Health, Medical System, Patient Advocacy, Medical Technology, Cancer Research, Healthcare Challenges

Links: 

https://www.leapfroggroup.org/ratings-reports 

https://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/health/wellness-and-prevention/the-power-of-a-health-care-advocate 

https://www.nami.org/ 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:18

You are listening to the Liquid Shape Podcast with your host, Cody Perez. Hello, everybody, and welcome to a new episode of the Liquid Shape Podcast with Cody Perez and Mariah Longfellow. We're excited to be here and we are slacking today. We are absolutely slacking. It is Easter Sunday, and that means that today I get to have the fun of editing last minute, and it's been crazy busy. So But that's good.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

It keeps you out of trouble.

SPEAKER_02 0:54

I always say that. It always keeps me out of trouble. But it puts a lot of pressure on my ass because I have to edit and fix things around, ask for last minute things.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Yeah, you love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

Fucking puts the pressure on me when we already have shit going on today. So it's fun, but at the same time, it's crazy. So I've been up bright and early doing editing, getting things ready so that we can get this episode out tonight at midnight, or Monday, I should say. Tomorrow is when people will be able to hear it. And uh So yeah, here we are, barely doing our segment one, last real last minute. Nothing like last minute stuff. Well, but it's been crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Yeah, but it's all good. It happens. We've just been busy. We had a lot of stuff to do yesterday. It's been nice in the Pacific Northwest. We've had some s a bunch of sun. Today's supposed to be nice, hopefully. So we're we're we're getting summer ready.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

So what what's happened in the last uh cause we took we had an episode that was earlier last week. What did we film on Tuesday or Wednesday of not this week but last week? So it's been a while. Um what's been new with you?

SPEAKER_01 1:54

Not much new here. I mean, just g like just said, getting ready for summer, getting the backyard ready, planted my zinnias, um waiting for those to start blooming. I l uh I love flowers.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

You've been getting into gardening.

SPEAKER_01 2:07

Gardening, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I love it. That's cool.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

One with the soil.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

We need to get I keep saying this, I want a salsa fucking garden.

SPEAKER_01 2:14

I want uh we have that whole section the yard done first and then I know where I'm gonna put everything.

SPEAKER_02 2:19

It would be so nice if we could have our own vegetables and not have to go to the grocery stores constantly for jalapenos or tomatoes or any of that stuff. And we have all that land that we can use. Like why not use it while we have it?

SPEAKER_01 2:32

We're gonna, but we gotta get the yard done first because the guy said he's gonna have to take a panel of the fence off to get in and out, so I don't want to plant anything to have to dig it up.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

That's true. So we did have another person come out to give us an estimate. We're waiting on that estimate next week, hopefully. Reason being is I've had a lot of people come out and they've given us one range to another range of the cost to do this, and it's like, well, it can't be that much. It's a small yard, it's not very big. All we're trying to do is level it out, and we're gonna do the rest of laying down the mulch and whatever else we had pavers and shit. So so this guy seems promising. It was recommended to me by a coworker, and he s it looks like he knows what he's doing. So he shows pictures of his work, and the other person that we had gone through has not gotten back to me. I've had to actually reach out to them. It's like, you're money's coming to you and you're not doing anything about it. Like, why are you slacking? I don't understand when people do this. It's like I am offering you money, I'm going to pay you. This is gonna be a good paying project, and you're gonna get business out of me. Who knows what other things I'll hire you for? But you're you're not getting back to me with quotes, you're giving me excuses, or I forgot, or I thought that I'd gotten back to you. No, look at your text messages. Like, if your bookkeeping is great, what the fuck? Like, I don't like it when people take forever to do shit. If I hire you for something, fucking get it done. I don't like to wait.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

Well, and it's I mean, I'm wondering if it's like too small of a j of a job in the sense, I mean, it only it should only take like a day, maybe two tops.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

It's not too small of a project. He does tree trimming and shit like that. So it's like it's just bullshit. I I don't know. Like, some people just don't like making money, I guess, or they have make bad decisions and don't fucking get the job done. So fucking organized. You're getting me mad by just thinking about it. Okay, well, let's shift geared. Uh, but yeah, since the last since the last week or the week before, um I went to Nevada. We played with Drowning Pool, it's a fucking killer show, badass time. There was probably about, I don't know, maybe 500, 600 people there throughout the day of the festival, maybe more, probably more, actually.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Because it's a brand new festival, right?

SPEAKER_02 4:34

Brand new festival. They're planning on doing a yearly thing of it, hopefully, they said, and they'd like to compete with Aftershock in California. So that's pretty badass. The people were awesome. I can't thank the people enough that put on the festival. They were very sweet. One of the owners was super excited when we got there. We parked the van in the backstage area. And uh she's like, Who are you guys? Wait, wait, don't tell me. She's like, Oh my god, oh my god. And then she says, Let me guess. Are you guys one of the bands that wears masks and makeup? The only band that wears masks and makeup here. And we kind of just joked around. We said, No, no, we don't know who the hell that is. And no, wait, yeah, it is you guys. I know, I know what you guys look like. And so she was super excited. She's like, You better play Time Bomb. And so, of course, we did. We played Time Bomb. It's been added to the set, and Pito killed it, did an awesome job. You can watch a video footage of him. Everybody. Yeah, everyone did fucking awesome, man. American Overdose fucking killed it there. The best part of it was that we strategically went in there with full intentions of, okay, we're gonna be an underrated band because we're the only band that's not from the area besides Drowning Pool. All the other bands that played that show were from the state of Nevada, so there are regional acts, or I guess local acts, I guess you would call them. We were more from the regional area. And so we were like, we're gonna go in there stripped down, meaning we're not gonna bring our lights, we're not gonna bring our fog, we're not gonna bring our brack backdrops or our scrims, any of that. The only thing you're gonna get is our live music. And personality. Personality, and obviously us in the outfits that we wear on stage and whatnot, and that's it. And we played at 350, which was prime spot for us because the sun was still out, people were, you know, enough people were there to see us, and uh everyone was just afterwards uh even the town, the city of Nevada, um, gave obviously a shout out to Drowning Pool, but then mentioned we were the only band that mentioned besides Drowning Pool, and they said that we were a standout act, and uh so many people came up to us and said, You guys should have played later in the in the bill, later in the bill. But I'm like, you know what? I'm we I think we played at the perfect time because that makes people that much more excited, and then it makes them like kind of like, why the hell did they not play later? You know? So that that made me excited. We had some cops that were there that were watching the set. I could tell they're watching us from the side of the stage. And right afterwards, like the guys came looking for us, the cops, and they're like, I just want to let you know how great you guys were. Three songs in, and I was already on Google, Googling your guys' name, adding you, following you, subscribing your pages. He's like, You guys were really great. And that's awesome. He gave stickers and people were buying merch and shit. So people liked us there and they dug us. And I asked the crowd at one point, I said, How many people have heard of American Overdose? And only a couple of people that were had heard of us, which means we did a good job in going out there because then we got exposed to a ton of people in Nevada that were not aware of us. And so now that's right, saturate them. That's yeah, we just that's that's what you want to do. It's cool to play in front of a lot of people that you that know who you are, but it's even better when you play in front of a brand new audience that's not aware of you and that digs you because that's the point of this. You're you're spinning your wheels in the mud if you keep playing for the same ten people, and that's what we don't do. We don't play, we don't play Portland very often or Salem, this area for that reason. Um, other than that, it was a very long drive. We took off on Friday. We stopped in Susansville, Susanville, California. That's where we stayed at a hotel, and it's about two hours, two and a half hours from Fernley, Nevada. So the next morning we got up early, drove to the festival, played, hung out till the very end of it. Um, and then we drove back to the hotel in Susanville that night, which was two hours away, and crashed out, woke up bright and early, and we were back by like six p.m. the following day on Sunday. So it was a really quick in-and-out trip. We had a blast, man. My sides hurt so bad from laughing from the guys. Like, I love hanging out with my band. Like we're we just have the best time. We laugh our asses off. We talk a lot of shit, and we pull a lot of pranks that people would be like, God, are you guys really in your 40s? You guys are 40 years old and you guys are acting this way. Yeah, we like to have fun. Fuck you. We're from the generation of MTV ass, you know, we're the millennials, baby. Millennials. We're gonna have fucking fun, man. We're gonna live young till the goddamn last days of our lives. And here's the great thing about our, I feel like our generation is way more responsible in uh certain aspects, but also very irresponsible in others. We're a good balance of both when you think about it. Because we all still care about you know paying our bills, not getting arrested. I mean, I I'm not saying this for everybody, but you know, for the most part, like I feel like our generation, and we partied. We partied fucking hard where you know some of the it's it's easy for someone to say, Oh, I've never taken a drug, never taken a fucking alcohol in my life. Great, good for you. I think that's cool. That's that's awesome that you could do that and not give in to temptation, but you really have an experienced life and you really can't speak to it when people do talk about it. So I think it's it's uh it's that's why I always say I never have any regrets of my past because it's been experience that I can talk about. It's been like it's something I can relate with people and I can discuss and I can say, fuck, I lived hard, I lived crazy, and some things just would have never happened if it weren't for those moments.

SPEAKER_01 9:40

So we were good at partying.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Very good at it. That's why I can still adapt. I mean, I still get tired. And you know, you saw me Friday when we were hanging out with our friends Friday night. I was like tired. I was like, we gotta go home. I gotta get up early, I got a long day Saturday, and sure enough we did. But I can hang when I absolutely need to. If it's a bunch of people and loud music and all that kind of shit, I'll stay up late. I can keep going. But if things are more calm down and just uh, you know, a couple people here and there, I'm pretty ready to go to bed.

SPEAKER_01 10:06

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

That was my story for this week, other than Is there anything else that we did this week? Forgetting?

SPEAKER_01 10:14

No, I think that's really it. I mean, my big stuff is more stuff I can't talk about because it's work stuff and uh a couple family things, which is fine. They're good things.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

Exciting family things for your parents, but yeah, no, I don't think it's anyone's business.

SPEAKER_01 10:27

But yeah. It's just it's things have been good. I love that. Sun's coming out.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

I got a knife.

SPEAKER_01 10:34

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:35

Work got me a knife. They catered a barbecue to us, and then I got a uh benchmade knife. Pretty sharp. If anyone fucks with me, I'm Mexican with a knife. You never thought you'd see that, right?

unknown 10:46

God.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

Anyway.

SPEAKER_02 10:47

And we got the boys here. So uh Taz and Lorenzo get so excited when they see us coming upstairs to the uh studio. They love this. They love being in this room. Like there's something about this room that they get like all excited about, and they just look around and just like constantly are just excited about it, and they know it's up. So I said I'd give them a little shout out. Here they are, like laying down with you. Yesterday we did a lot of cooking because today we're going to see your parentals. I made them some ribs, some 321 smoked barbecue ribs on the Traeger.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

And I'm gonna make some Cajun Mac for the fam for both my parents because we're gonna see my parents first and then we're gonna head into Cody's family after. So everyone's getting mac and cheese.

SPEAKER_02 11:25

Yeah, mac and cheese. Cajun mac and cheese. And then I made a rice that I will be sharing with your parents as well. Yesterday we did burgers and we did carnesada on the charcoal grill because that's how you prefer it. You like a little charred.

SPEAKER_01 11:38

It's gotta be a little charred.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

Actually, you like it really charred. I don't blame you though, because it's normally I like steak medium, but carnesada, I do like it to have that like burnt feel to it. There's something about it.

SPEAKER_01 11:49

I was introduced to carne asada through Judy's family. They would always do it super charred and they wouldn't like cut it up, they'd leave it in the full piece of it. It's the proper way to do it, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:58

I just chop it up because when we have friends over for barbecues and shit, I want to make sure that everyone gets some and like that way people just aren't hogging a whole strip of carne asada, you know, which which normally you would, but if we don't have enough and we have like 30 people here, it's like that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:13

Gotta make it fair for everybody. But yeah, it's been a good week. Yeah. And I'm excited for summertime and concerts. We got ice cube tickets.

SPEAKER_01 12:22

That's what it was. Yeah, ice cube tickets. Slight well, slightly stupid in Salem.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

To me, it's a ice cube concert. I don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Yeah. Um, it's ice cube, uh, slightly stupid, elevators, and there's a couple other bands as well. So I guess it's uh it's called On High Festival, and I believe it's their first one. Riverfront. I forget they have the little amphitheater thing right there, but I didn't think we'd get like big, big artists, but hey.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

I mean American Overdose played, not saying they were at the level Ice Cube or something.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

But if you haven't seen Ice Cube, oh he's amazing. He puts on a great show. Great, great show.

SPEAKER_02 12:57

That was that was awesome. He's not only that, but great musician. I love his rap style. I love his acting, dude. I love all his movies. His movies are all fucking awesome. They are. Even the fucking what was it?

SPEAKER_01 13:07

The uh the Are We There Yet.

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Are we there yet? Are we done yet? Both of them are great.

SPEAKER_01 13:12

Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

Yeah, no, he's he's great. So we're excited for that. And I mean, we got Marilyn Manson and Rob Zombie that we'll be going to. I think Five Fear Death Punch is playing with is it Cody Jinx or who who is the person?

SPEAKER_01 13:25

I think it's Cody Jinx, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:26

He's playing with the country country artists, which is cool and like a little b variety.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

And then I'm going to Denver in June for my best friend's birthday, and we're gonna go see uh Dirty Heads. I think I've already mentioned this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

That's gonna be a good time for you.

SPEAKER_01 13:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

Alright, so let's get to it because, like I said, we're on limited time. Today's guest is going to be uh Danny Kay. We had a great conversation about the healthcare system as she is involved on that. That's what her career is. And great conversation that we had regarding the healthcare system, how messed up it is, and what it takes to be in there. I I give all the mad props to anybody that does it and does it with passion because it takes a lot of empathy and patience, and it takes like actually caring. Um, if you're doing it for the money, as we discussed in the segment two that you'll be hearing, it's like that's that's that's not the way to go about it. You have to be a person that cares about people and legitimately care not, not for the money.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

You're gonna get burned out real quick if you're just in it for the money.

SPEAKER_02 14:29

Yeah. Make sure to check out segment two, which is up next. But right now we'll handle the question of the week and then we'll call it a day for segment one. This week was Are you becoming who you want to be or who life is shaping you into? Some follow-up questions you don't have to answer all. Where do you feel in control versus out of control? What would you change if you fully took the wheel? What's one step towards becoming more intentional? What part of your current self feels like a conscious choice? And what part feels like a survival tactic? If you stripped away your current responsibilities and titles, who is the person left underneath? Is there a specific dream you've shelved because it didn't fit the life you are building? So we got some great responses, and thank you to everyone that threw in their two cents. I love hearing from you all, like I always say. We love hearing from you all.

SPEAKER_01 15:23

You're beautiful.

SPEAKER_02 15:24

Yes. So we'll go first to email. And this one came in from our friend John.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

John!

SPEAKER_02 15:32

All right, and John says, Every day I wake up trying to be a better husband, a better dad, more present when I can. But I'm the sole provider, so yeah, there's this constant pool. I want to carve out time for me for growth, but bills don't wait. The real question isn't, am I becoming who I want? It's how do I steal back hours without tanking income? Life keeps throwing curveballs, distractions, tests, whatever, and I think that's on purpose. Builds character if you don't let it derail you. So I navigate, stay eyes on the goal, even when it feels like the universe is steering. Where do you feel in control versus out of control? Full control? I think that's a myth. We steer, sure, pick up directions, make moves, but the world's spinning whether you're in it or not. I feel in control when I'm choosing my next step. Out of control when I pretend I'm not the one driving. That's just fear talking. What would you change if you fully took the wheel? Honestly, nothing big. We're already driving. We just don't admit it. Most people hand the keys over, blame traffic, then act shocked when they crash. I just own it. No more excuses, no more life did this to me. Responsibility's scary, but it's freedom too. What's one step towards becoming more intentional? We're all intentional already. Getting up, eating, scrolling, arguing, it's just sloppy careless. Cut pause. Ask, why am I doing this? If it's autopilot, swap it. Self-control isn't magic. It's picking better distractions on purpose. What purpose feels conscious for choice versus survival tactic? Most of it's conscious. I show up present. I grind because I choose to survival. The baseline work, work, smile at the boss, pay rent. But here's the here's the kicker. Too many treat it like a life sentence. I don't. I know I could tweak it, upgrade it, stop surviving, and start thriving. Most people just don't think that far. If you stripped away responsibilities and titles, who's left? Just a guy who wants better for me, for my wife, for my kids, everyone close. Someone digging deeper into himself, chasing real connection with spirit. No labels, just that hunger to level up. Any dream you shelved because of it, because it didn't fit? No, not shelved. It's mid-build. Right now I'm laying bricks, foundation first. My goals, they're huge, over the top. People laugh, call them crazy. But if it takes five years or 50, I'm in. Why? Because when I hit them, it'll it'll lift everybody around me, not just me. That's the point. And one of the most satisfying things is proving people wrong who say you can't.

SPEAKER_01 17:56

That's right.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

I love that. Those are all very well thought out responses. And I couldn't agree more. Like I feel like too many people, I think we've said this before. There's a lot of people that feel like life happens to them and not for them. And that's a mindset. Yep. It's mind shift. You know, everything happens for a reason. And many times people will look for excuses as to why they can't reach their goals or why they can't do certain things. Or they'll they'll say, Well, I'll do that later. Well, why later? I get your plate is full. I get that you're busy. I get that you have this going on. I get you have that going on. Just add another thing on there. Yeah. And you'll know.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

It's just going to be the same cycle. Yeah. You're going to get it done. You always have an excuse.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

Tomorrow will tomorrow's not promise, as many know. And you're going to continue saying, I'll get to it eventually. I'll get to it eventually.

unknown 18:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

At least start summer. Build, like he said, the foundation. Start the foundation of what it is that you want, and every day come in present and be intentional with everything that you do. If you're just sitting around scrolling on your fucking phone, which a lot of us do, and I I'm guilty of it when I'm bored, but a lot of times here's when I do it. I like I I've been noticing that I'm doing this more now when I'm waiting for something that uh I need to be worrying. Wow, someone failed that. Big distraction. Anyways, so if I'm let's say I'm at the store somewhere and I'm in line about to check out, and it's one of those situations where you have to you have to go through a person, not self-checkout. I'll look at my phone, I'll look at my messages at that point, I'll I'll I'll take a look and see what I can respond to or what I can do. I like to kill things and get things out of the way. If something's waiting, I just like to get it done. Pull the fucking band-aid off and just make it happen or get to the next level of, you know, if if what I need to do requires me to wait on somebody else, I just get to my part of it and say, All right, now the ball's in your court. I'm waiting for you to get back to me. If you don't get back to me in a couple days, I'm gonna be fucking annoying you and I'm gonna say, where are we at with this? Where are we at with this? Where are we at with this? And a lot of times I don't even wait. If it's something that's if time is of the essence, I will reach out to you, you know, shortly after and say, Hey, I need this now. I need this now. Um so but I I try to do my scrolling then. Or if I'm at just at home and we're watching TV and we're bored or whatever. But even then when we're sitting down, I like to be working on things, whether it's band related or podcast related or whatever the hell. So and you see me, like if we're cooking something for dinner, I know something's for dinner, I go to the grocery store early as fuck in the morning, get that out of the way, prep something.

SPEAKER_01 20:28

Because ugh, grocery stores give me anxiety.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

I don't like waiting around for people to do things and shit like that. And so I like that John says that he everything's intentional that that he does. And um, I 100% agree. When I wake up in the morning, I'm just like, thank God I get another day. And who's the person underneath afterwards? It's like it's just that guy that's chasing better to better myself. I'm not competing with anyone else. I'm better, I'm trying to be better than I was yesterday. So thank you, John, for your comments and wise words. All right, so the next one here is from Facebook. This one comes in from Dave Z. Harris, my buddy. Shout out to Dave. Thanks for responding, Dave. Some great questions. I'm gonna give a blanket answer. Yes. Yes is my new word, or my new question is what next? Sometimes, whether it's a good decision or a bad decision, I ask myself, what's next? What's going to be next after this next decision I make? Is it going to be something I'm going to like or something I'm not going to like? An important question for anyone asks themselves before doing anything. Is this going to be good for your life? Or take you down a path you've already been down before. The word yes to me means a lot more than it used to before too. I don't just say yes to the things that I want to do anymore. I say yes to me being valuable. I say yes to treating myself like the kind of person I deserve to be treated as. I say yes to new things now instead of balking balking at them or feeling childish or insecure or feel fearful of change. Love that. I say yes to change now. Especially if it means growth. I say yes to hard things. I say yes to going to the gym, even though I just I just work an 11-hour day and I'm fucking tired because guess what? It makes me feel better in the end. So I say yes. And I say yes to this post because I love it and I love seeing things like this. Fucking slayer. I love that. It goes back to it goes back to what I just said right now. It's like tomorrow's not promised and you don't know what you're gonna find. Like going to the gym, yeah, it does suck. It's it's it's working out in general. I mean, I don't we don't go to the gym. We have our own little gym setup kind of at home that we can do our our workouts and whatnot, because I just I can't be around people. I hate people.

SPEAKER_01 22:38

Well sort of kind of like have you ever seen that one meme that's like when it talks about things that are hard, but choose your hard. So it's like being unfit, overweight, whatever, whatever, versus working out. Choose your hard.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

It's a lot harder to be unfit. It really it is. You have a lot of struggles with that, and that's not to shame anybody that's unfit. You gotta you gotta get the body moving. It's not good for you. You're not gonna live very long. If it's gonna be very uncomfortable. So that's just one example. But like, yes, you just don't. It's exciting, and like you said, the fearful, that that part really stuck out. It's like, don't be afraid. Like, what's the worst that can happen? Unless you're doing something dangerous that's like gonna hurt yourself, potential self or others. Stop and really think about it then. But like if someone invites you out to let's say there's a I don't know, like we're just trying to throw something out, like a game night or something, and you hear, oh, there's gonna be this, these people that you probably don't know, and these people You never know, you might meet your best friend there. Your new best friend. Like so opportunities when they come up, they come up for a reason, and life is all about the choices you make, obviously, and perspective is everything. So I like this uh this idea of saying yes, saying yes, saying yes. Because we don't know if tomorrow's gonna happen or not. So if something gets presented to you, there there could be a very good reason why life is leading you in that direction.

SPEAKER_01 23:57

That's what I always say. Everything happens for a reason. Pay attention.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Right. Next one is from James. I'm gonna butcher this last name. Can you say it? And I know James.

SPEAKER_01 24:07

Oh gosh. Gorlitz?

SPEAKER_02 24:09

All right, James Gorlitz. And I know James for a while here. So I just I suck at names, and so I'm sorry about that. I suck with names and last names, especially. James says, I wanted to be an infamous rock star like Manson, Ozzy, Gigi Allen, or Tommy Lee. I've been told I have a great metal voice and I can hit the highest highs and lowest lows in almost an instant, but my crippling anxiety, shyness, and the fact I can't write for shit has stopped me. I I even was invited on stage to sing Walk and failed miserably because I froze and I a couple hundred people watched me do it. Most embarrassing time in my life. Cool though. I was joking with a lot of people about it and got a couple of free drinks. I have not shelved that dream just yet because it's my ultimate dream. I know I can get past it because I was able to do Rock the Wolf's part with Green Jell-O and the Three Little Pigs. Hell yeah. Well, that's a great dream to have, James. And it's never too late to get started and do what you want to do. And I totally get that. The shyness. And what's funny, James, is that many musicians, whether they're local, regional, national, international, if you watch documentaries or listen to podcasts that have a lot of these musicians or artists or even like actors and actresses, being shy is not uncommon for a lot of these people. You see them on these big stages in front of all these thousands and thousands and thousands of people, but people still get they're still very shy, shy personalities. And it's one of those things that it's not uncommon. So I think it's more how do you how do you nudge yourself a little bit closer and closer to getting to just doing it? And then eventually that shyness also you'll always have that awkwardness feeling kind of, because I still get shy. So start writing at home. Start writing, writing, writing, writing. Just const consistently write. No matter how bad you think it sucks, no matter how horrible you think it is, keep writing, keep recording, and then eventually listen to it. What do you like about it? What do you not like about it? Make notes. Go back to those recordings, go back to whatever it is that you're doing and uh adjust what you don't like about it, and then highlight on what you like. And then how are you gonna fix those things you don't like? Think about that and then work on improving those things, and then those things that you're great at, make sure that those stand out on the front. And then as far as performing in front of people, sometimes if you just go to a if you know there's a karaoke bar or you know it's a local show that doesn't have very many people, and someone hands you the mic, it's easier for you to probably perform if there's not very many people there. Because guess what? If there's like five people there, what's the worst that's gonna happen? Maybe, maybe you fuck up on a note or you hit the wrong note or whatever or the lyric. Start small. Yeah. But start building towards it because you can do it, man. I I I believe in you, and it's it's one of those things where again, don't wait until tomorrow. Start working on it today. Yep. So that you know, a week from now or two months from now, a year from now, you're gonna be able to be like, hey, remember when I was not even able to get on the stage or you know it's no big deal. Now it's no big deal, or or I'm better at it, or I'm one step closer, five steps closer to where I want to be.

SPEAKER_01 27:12

Absolutely. So I like that he he was able to laugh it off, though.

SPEAKER_02 27:15

Yeah, yeah, you can laugh it off.

SPEAKER_01 27:17

I think I think that's huge too. So you're not like in your head fully.

SPEAKER_02 27:21

Yeah, you just gotta start taking steps. You can't sitting around waiting and talking about it will get you nowhere. It's spinning your wheels in the mud. Work towards something to get better at with things that you're unsure of. And the only the only way you can get better is by doing over and over and over and over and over and over again. I'm still constantly myself. I'm still constantly working on my voice, constantly working on my lyrics, constantly working on my timing, constantly working on everything because I don't consider myself a great vocalist. I consider myself a great entertainer, but for vocals, it's always something I've struggled with, so I'm constantly working on it. And you see, Mariah sees me, I'm singing at home constantly and I fuck things up. I fuck up lyrics a lot for other bands, but then like it's like whatever. I'm just I'm just having fun with it. I fuck up notes, I fuck up things like that. It's all in fun at the end of the day. Yeah, laugh at yourself, and the only way you're gonna get better is by doing constantly repetition, man. Exactly. Repetition.

SPEAKER_01 28:10

You got this.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

Next one came in from Jacob Long. Jacob says, Who life is shaping me into? Two, in control on social media, out of control with my kids. I think he's answering the questions by the number that I may not make sense to you guys, but you can always refer back to the questions. Number three, I would I would invest in better filming equipment. Number four, talking from the heart. Number five, conscience choice, social media for no profit, survival showing up at work to pay bills. Six, a dreamer, seven, becoming a rock star. Yeah, I mean, I I have to kind of agree with Jacob on this, who life is shaping me into. I think that's where I'm kind of at, and that's the way I kind of look at it. Yeah. Because I have these goals and I have these dreams that I want to be. I I am I exactly where I want to be, I'm going in that direction. But life has taken me some curves and put some hurdles in my way. It's been a long journey because I want to do music for a living. That's my goal. Um, I'm still doing I'm still doing music right now, which is to me an accomplishment in itself. But it was a dream I had when I was 13, and now playing big big bands and big festivals and that kind of stuff. So that's that's pretty cool. I've got four albums out, or three albums out, working on the fourth one about the fourth one's done, about to come out. So that's exciting. So it's it's I feel I I I hear you on that, Jacob. It's I feel like life is I'm who life is shaping me into. That's where I'm at.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

Well, and then the uh number two, where do you feel in control versus out of control? And he says, in control and social media, out of control with my kids. God bless you on that, man. I know kids are uh that's that's a beast. So all the parents out there, cheers to you.

SPEAKER_02 29:52

Better you than me. Yes, absolutely. I have dogs for a reason. Yeah, yeah. All right. Um, and then the next one comes in from James Browning. James answers number one, a little of both. Personally, I'm who I want to be, a devoted and providing father and husband. Career-wise, what life chose me to be. A, I don't feel in control of much of anything at the moment, just how I react to whatever isn't in my control. What would you change if you fully took the wheel? He says, not sure of the question. Okay, and then he says, D, as sad as it sounds, it's all survival at this time. Or survival all the time. E. A loving father and husband, a person who thought they would never live past 25, and now that I am I'm constantly confused and unprepared for what I should be doing. F. I always wanted to be a chef. I love cooking, went to culinary school and all. After graduation, I had my first child and got married, so that took precedence over anything I wanted. I'm not overly sad about it though. I have two badass kids and an amazing wife. Hell yeah, man. That's all that's what it's about. Your happiness. And if you wanted to be a chef and still do the family thing, I believe in you. I believe that you could do that. There's a lot of people that are able to do that. Even if it's on a for, for example, on a weekend basis. Let's say you you take on a part-time job. It doesn't even have to be a full-time weekend job. It's just a part-time job just to like get that that energy or get that um get that feeling of, yeah, I'm doing something I'm I was passionate about. And it doesn't take you away, hopefully, from the family too much if you were to do that. So I believe that you could do that if you really wanted to. But then again, I'm sure I don't know what your what your schedule looks like or what that all looks like. And so I won't speak too much on that. But I love this. Yeah. The next one came in from becoming uh from Tristan Sanchez. He says, or Tristan says, becoming a vocalist, been practicing for two weeks, not good, but getting there. And that's what you got to do. You gotta keep going. Like I just said right now. I've been doing this since I was 13 years old, and I'm still not good. I still don't think I'm good enough. But I think that's the chase that makes us better is that that drive of, I want to be better. I want to be better. When you get cocky and you get confident and you get stuck in your old your ways, you get home. Well that's when you're just like, you're you're I don't know. I feel like you're at that point, you're just kind of like, why are you doing it then? If you're still great.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

But also you have to keep in mind too, even when you do get to where you feel like you're great. I mean, even like rock stars, comedians, all those people, even if they've been doing it for a long time and they have a big following and they do quote unquote make it big, they still have times where they don't do as that great. So it's always just remember, like not every time you're performing or in front of people, it's gonna be perfect. Like it's just life, you know. So it's I I think it's a helpful reminder just to kind of go with the flow too. Like you're gonna keep building your skills and getting better and better, but just know that there's it's not gonna be always perfect.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Exactly. Exactly. So keeping in mind that uh little progress is better than no progress. Doing something is worth it's anything that's worth doing, you gotta put work into it. It's gonna take it's gonna take time.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

And then just kind of like we were mentioning earlier, too, you have to always be able to kind of laugh at yourself too, like always stay humble. Just it's like I kind of bombed, but you know, this is what I'm taking to the to my next show. I'll remember not to do it XYZ or whatever.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

Exactly. So keep doing, keep going. Last one came in from curated by Princess Vic. I am definitely becoming who I want to be. It's a process. Totes fun in control of the energy. I give out and take in. Out of control, the people around me, I wouldn't change anything. I want to do the work. It's a journey. Love that. I love that. I love it when people say that they're willing to put in the work and that they're okay with the bumps along the ro the road and that um they'll do whatever it takes. Like I said again, anything worth doing is gonna require work, dedication, drive. There's gonna be failures. I won't even call them failures. If you're learning from it, it's not a failure. It's a lesson. It's a lesson.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

So we should always keep learning.

SPEAKER_02 34:02

Always. So let's uh let's go with uh our responses and I'll let you go first.

SPEAKER_01 34:06

All right. So um the question, are you becoming who you wanna be or is life or who life is shaping you into? Uh I think a little bit of both. And I say that because I think when I was younger, I think it was more about who life is shaping me into, just because of experiences that, you know, like I've said a million times, I think we all go through things that we're supposed to go through, good and bad. You know, it's how it you know makes us grow, challenges us, makes us stronger, that type of stuff. But I would say now, being forty-one, um, I think I'm becoming who I want to be. I like where I'm at, you know, I like who I am. I don't take myself too seriously, I can laugh at myself. And I've kind of shifted too. Like for the longest time I was like, I guess career-wise, I'm like, I want to climb the ladder, climb the ladder, climb the ladder. But now that I've gotten a little bit older and just, you know, I guess the state of the world, all that stuff, everything's so intense that I'm like, you know what? It's taking away from me. And you know what? I'm not trying to climb the ladder. I just want to make a decent, good salary that I can live on and still do the things that I want to do. But I like being able to clock off and not have people contacting me at all hours of the night or weekend or whatever. I like to step away from that and be me and find what makes me happy outside of work.

SPEAKER_02 35:20

I love that. I would never want to be in a job that requires that.

SPEAKER_01 35:23

No.

SPEAKER_02 35:23

No money in the world is worth that stress.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

No money in the world is worth my peace, and I'm not losing my peace for a fucking title, a certain number salary. It's to me, I don't see that anymore. I'm not chasing money anymore like I used to. Like in my mind, it was like, oh, you gotta do this because of money, money, title, money. And I'm like, nah, fuck that.

SPEAKER_03 35:41

Yeah. No, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 35:43

I just want to do my thing, help who I can at work, and then come home and be with you and the boys, my family. So um, where do you feel in control versus out of control? I think, I mean, just for the whole span of my life, I think a lot of I don't know that I ever really felt in control where I feel I do now, in a sense. Like I think I was always just kind of living in the moment, just it is what it is. But now having that mind shift, I think I don't know if control's the right word, but I feel like I'm on target of where I need to be. Like my life isn't chaos. Again, it was just kind of releasing things. Like, I am giving this to God or whatever. Like I'm not gonna sit here and stress and spin out. And in doing so, I'm like, I'm more relaxed. I'm not not saying I don't have my moments. I'm I'm not, I don't I don't feel like I'm not where I should be, or constantly down on myself, like, oh, we didn't do this or that, or we're not here, we're not like so and so. It's fuck that. Like just step back from it, breathe. This is my life. What do I really want? What's meant for me will come. I'll be put in the position for that. But also being keeping eyes open of what are the signs, because life gives us signs, you know, no matter what you believe in, what you you know, whatever, but it's being open to them and you know.

SPEAKER_02 36:59

That's kind of what John said. You're driving in a direction. It's kind of like the GPS is gonna take you down the ways or guide you in the in a sense, there's gonna be bumps. Maybe maybe the GPS is the road you're you're taking, there's gonna be bumps along the way that you're not aware of. The GPS doesn't tell you everything. You know you you're you're going where you want to go, but the direction that you want to go, but there's gonna be things that come along the way, bumps and what have you. And so Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:25

Uh what part of your current self feels like a conscious choice, or what part feels like a survival tactic? Well, this is what I love. I don't feel like I'm in survival anymore. I was for the longest time. So now I feel like everything I do, I fully analyze every option, every choice I make, or I'll sit on it for a few days and just really mull it over before I just blindly jump into something where before it was like there was a little bit of just kind of chaos, or oh, this sounds perfect. I'm just gonna do it, I'm gonna go for it without like you know, just sitting with it and saying like this sounds great, this is what I want, but is it really the right way or the right next step? So that's where I feel just I feel balanced now until I say that now that Monday morning comes and I check my emails and I'm pissed. No, if you stripped away your current responsibility and titles, who is the person left underneath? This is a big thing for me. I try to separate Mariah from my career or my title or whatever. So I never I'm I've I've never I've never been one of those people that's like, oh, hi, what do you do? Like that's not the first thing I ever ask when I meet people. I don't because I don't care what you do. I mean, honestly, I'm like, I want to know you. Who is, you know, the person in front of me. Your career is just how you make money. I mean, depending on I mean, I guess they blur together sometimes, but you know, I don't care that John is the top salesman in his company. Well, good for you, but like who's John outside of that? Or who's Wendy outside of that? So I'm just me, I'm Mariah. I'm silly, I'm goofy, I'm lovable. I'm learning that my new dream, I want to be a flower farmer. So if someone wants to give me some farmland.

SPEAKER_02 39:03

The mushroom planter guy.

SPEAKER_01 39:05

Yeah. I don't know. I just I've been following a lot of things on Instagram and I'm like, that just looks like s I'd love like I'm Mariah's turning into her garden era, so I just it just looks like so much fun. I don't know. It's just amazing.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

Well, you're gonna have to put your money where your mouth is once the land is flattened out because I'm gonna be watching you and I don't want you killing those flowers or the veggies. So it's all gonna be put on you. I'll help where I can, but that's your project.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

No, stay away.

SPEAKER_02 39:33

I'll probably overwater it or something.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

I know, it's why I'm like, uh, you stay away, sir. Is there a specific dream you shelled because it didn't fit the life life you were building? I don't know. I think I don't know. I don't think so. I mean when I was younger, you know, growing up with MTV, like in the late 80s, early 90s, like the biggest thing that always stood out to me was like Michael Jackson and just like seeing there was just something about him and like his aura and the shows that he did. So that made me want to be a performer. I really did. I want and I liked I loved dancing. And it's like I just and especially like all the cool dance moves like MC Hammer had and stuff back in the day. So when I was younger, I was like, I want to be, you know. It wasn't necessarily a singer, but it was like a dancer or like I don't know, entertainment in some way. Yeah, but I don't know. I just never really took any steps outside of that. I guess like I never took dance, I never did anything.

SPEAKER_02 40:21

So then the passion really wasn't there, that's hard to say.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

Yeah, exactly. And now, like looking back at it, I'm like, I don't know that I would have felt fulfilled with that, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 40:30

Probably not.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

I just like, but but don't get me wrong, you get Mariah out on the on the dance floor, she's gonna bust some moves.

SPEAKER_02 40:36

And you can bust them out, you're pretty good at it.

SPEAKER_01 40:38

Well, thank you. Uh yeah, so that's that's Mariah.

SPEAKER_02 40:43

That's you in a nutshell. All right. So for me, are you becoming who you want to be or who life is shaping you into? I feel like it's both, but like I was mentioning earlier, it's whose life life is shaping me into. Because never in my life did I think that I would go down the path of drinking and partying. That wasn't any of my it wasn't my goals. I if anything, it was against what I wanted to do when I was younger, when I saw my dad and family members that were struggling with addiction. It was one of those things where I didn't want to do, I I looked at them and I said, I don't ever want to drink, I don't ever want to party, I don't want to get myself down a path where I'm losing friends and family and destroying my life because of these addictions. I don't want to be addicted and I don't want to have a rough road. So, you know, of course, you get into high school and you get social atmospheres, and that's the norm to do. Growing up, I gave in. And, you know, next thing you know, I'm drinking, partying, and smoking, doing all the things I said I would never do. And that's just a way of life. I I feel like that's a life shaping me, not what I wanted to be in control of. I've always done music because I love music and I told myself I would be doing music. So I feel like I am doing that in that aspect. Yeah. So that's something that I'm intentionally doing. But with the whole part of like addiction and with drinking and partying, life shaped me down this path of I went through the addiction, lost the friends, lost family members, whatever. And now I'm I hate saying the word recovery. I know that's a very common thing, but I don't, I never went to rehab. I never went to AA or any of those type of things. It was a my own choice to quit, and I was ready to be done. So I don't know if I call it recovery. I just say when I decided to take back control of my life, it changed a lot of things for me. It was very eye-opening. I saw someone post this the other day about how they were, was it three weeks, four weeks? I forget what they were. They mentioned that they were three weeks sober and how they still have a long way to go, but they already felt so good. And I I was just thinking, I'm like, it's only going to be better. It only gets better with time because the clarity comes back. You discover new things about yourself. Depending on how long you've been in your addiction or in your bad habits, you lose yourself, you lose pieces of yourself, or you forget things about your passions, your drives, your loves, what means anything to you for so long. Like for me, it was over 20 years of partying and drinking and whatnot. So that was part of my personality and who I became. Getting sober, I'm still finding out things and passions that I love. People are like, you never like that, or you never like doing that. Was the old version of me. Like, this is a new version of me. This is something that is changing in me, in my heart, and my in my things. Like, right now, more than ever, family means everything to me. And I love having my time with you guys, with the dogs, with you. And I appreciate even just sitting out in the back patio, like, or whatever, like taking a dog, taking the dogs for a walk or whatever. I I enjoy those moments. Like, those are things that when if I was drinking and partying and all that, I never thought about that stuff. I didn't care. I didn't, it was it was just whatever. When we were driving in the van, I would party in the van back in the days while we're driving and get all wasted and drink with the guys and laugh. But this time it's like I was driving, I was driving, or Justin was driving, and I'm just enjoying the moment. I'm enjoying the conversations we're having, the Laughs and appreciate that. And even going into it, I knew that that was going to happen, that we were going to be in the van for seven hours, eight hours, nine hours, whatever, and we were going to have conversations. I was excited for it for our laughs and our just goofiness. So I would say it's it's a little bit of both for me as far as I'm becoming who I want to be, but also who life is shaping me into. I didn't think I'd work in the field that I work in, and here I am and I'm enjoying it. I love what I do. So that's just a part of what something that came into my life that happened. It wasn't something I aspire to be. Where do you feel in control versus out of control? Well, I don't feel in control of how people react to certain things. I don't feel in control of the hurdles and the bumpy roads that life is going to throw at me, but I feel in control of how I react to it. It's all like I said again, it's all about perspective and me trying to challenge myself to look at things in a different way versus this is happening to me. This is happening to me, this is well, why is this happening to me? I'm thinking now, what is a lesson to be learned here? What can I gain from this? How can I turn this loss into a lesson? So that's that's kind of where I feel like I'm in control. And me accepting that there's a lot of things out there that are out of my control, but the one thing I can control for sure is how I react and how I perceive it and how I um choose to move forward or put up a wall and say, Nope, that's not for me, that person's not for me, this route is not for me, I'm gonna turn this way. What would you change if you fully took the wheel? I don't know that I would change anything because that'd be kind of boring. If I knew exactly that life was gonna go down this way or what have you, like what what would be the point that, you know? I think the life, the lessons and the unknown is exciting. It's it's a challenge, it adds to the challenge. Let's see what part of your current self feels like a conscious choice and what part feels like a survival tactic. Well, I feel like everything's kind of survival tactic for me as far as like the bumpiness. I I have to make the best decisions that come my way at that point, so it's in survival mode. But if if it's something as simple as like, I know I gotta be at work by 5 30 tomorrow morning, I'm intentionally gonna set my alarm for 4 30 or 5 o'clock or whatever to get there. Uh it just depends on what it is. But if something happens on the road, then I gotta figure out, okay, how am I gonna get to ro I get to work or like it's I feel like it's a little bit of both on that one too. If you stripped away your current responsibilities and titles, who is the person left underneath? I would say the person underneath is a person that has a lot of passion, a lot of drive, a lot of hard work ingrained in their mind and determination of all things. I'm very determined to be the absolute best version of myself today that I can be. And I'm better than I was yesterday. I'm a million times better than I was the month before. I am a billion times better than I was five years ago. That is where I'm at with uh who I am if you strip down everything around me. And it's that constant chase of wanting to be better. Not better than anyone else, better than my version that I'm at today. And that's what drives me every morning. That's what wakes me wake up and say, hey, I gotta put work into this, I gotta put work into that, I gotta put work into this, I gotta give my best every single time. I gotta keep credibility. That was a huge reason for me wanting to get sober was I felt like I lost complete credibility and respect and all that kind of shit. And I feel that people take all of those things for granted, and those things are the real things that matter to me. And that's about it for me as far as answering the questions. So the boys are here breathing all heavy, like they they're acting like they've put in some work.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

They're acting like they pay taxes.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

Yeah, you don't pay taxes or rent, little guys. Shout out to Taz and Lorenzo, my babies. They're right here with us. So that's it for segment one. Stick around for segment two that's up next with my guest, Danny Kay. I'm excited for that one because there was a lot of things I did not learn know and I learned from just um the conversation. So be sure to stick around. How's

Segment 2

SPEAKER_02 48:04

it going, everyone? We are here on segment two, and I'm very excited that we have a guest here that I actually know. I actually met one at one time. Her name is Danielle. Welcome to the show, Danielle.

SPEAKER_00 48:16

Hello, how are you?

SPEAKER_02 48:17

I'm doing great. I haven't talked to you in a while. And uh the way the way that we met was actually was I I was on tour uh with Mushroom Head, American Overdose, and we met out in uh what what city was that that we played?

SPEAKER_00 48:28

I believe that was Milwaukee at that time. Of course, we were we were talking quite a while before then, but yeah, we had it to Wisconsin. Yeah. I think it was when I'm yeah, it was somewhere in Milwaukee, I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_02 48:39

Mil yeah, it was either Mil Milwaukee or we played a couple of shows out in that direction or in that in the state. Maybe no, it wasn't lacrosse or is that what is how it's called?

SPEAKER_00 48:50

Yeah, we do have a lacrosse, yeah. Yeah. I know, yeah. It wasn't that part, but yeah, it was uh yeah, it was out that way.

SPEAKER_02 48:56

I I recall it was like a bar slash like it was a divided bar venue. Like it was part bar and part venue. Is that am I thinking of it right correctly? Like there's doors you go through.

SPEAKER_00 49:06

Yeah, it was pretty small. And I remember you were actually like not feeling super great that night, too, but but it was yeah, it was nice to to meet up and Mushroom Head was there. I do remember that you guys were there, and uh the bar was yeah in the middle, it was just kind of a split small venue.

SPEAKER_02 49:20

So yeah, I think it was towards the end of the tour, and I my throat was just so jacked up from that tour. Uh that was the first time I ever had to sing like 35 days in a row, so I was like done for. But uh yeah, good times. I'm glad that we got to meet. And uh I know that you uh you're you know, you like to listen to all sorts of good music, so we have we have similar tastes in music and that. And uh you have some friends in the scene as well from from what you've told me, so that's cool. Um so go ahead and tell the audience about yourself. I'll let you uh I'll let you own it here, and then you know, as you talk about whatever you feel like telling us about yourself, and then from there I'll just ask questions.

SPEAKER_00 49:57

All right. Sounds good. Yes. Well, my name is Danielle. I uh born and raised in Wisconsin. Uh I did move away in 2016, but uh Wisconsin is my home base. That's where I currently am now, actually, visiting friends and family. Really from a young age, I actually wanted to work in the field of computers. That was kind of my love, and I thought that's what my career would end up being, but ultimately I was kind of detoured into the medical field. I have a lot of medical people in my family, and so uh was kind of surprised I didn't naturally just go that way from the the beginning. But uh, when I was in high school, I was actually sitting in my accounting class, and I had a teacher come up to me at the end of class one day, and he's like, There's a nursing home here in town. And I grew up in a tiny town of population, like 1,500 people, so really small. Wow. And he's like, I think it'd be a great opportunity for you if you're interested. They're looking for a receptionist at the nursing home. Uh, and if you're interested, I will put in a word for you. And I'm like, well, sure. I'd love to help out and be more than happy to make a little income as you know I'm going through school too. Um, and that's really just what kick started everything off. So I switched from uh computers and just totally went into the medical field after that. So my life has just been consumed by my love for helping people. I've always been a pretty empathetic person, uh, and I just love helping out any way I can. So I thought it'd be a good idea to bring this up as a topic to talk about because at any given point we do become part of the medical system, whether we want to or not, unfortunately.

SPEAKER_02 51:38

What part is it that kind of piqued your interest where you were like, all right, I want to take this a little bit further and get more hands-on with actually in doing more than just the the res uh what was it the clerical work that you were doing?

SPEAKER_00 51:50

Yeah, yeah, but it was just front desk, answering the phones, directing people where to go, things like that. So I think really what triggered my love for it was there were three separate wings, but I was closest to the Alzheimer's and dementia wing. And so with that, you know, we'd have a lot of wandering patients, um, but a lot of them would be uh, you know, super nice, and some of them would still be with it, and they would come up and they would talk to me. I remember I had a patient that was completely deaf, and she was actually like trying to teach me sign language and like we would write back and forth together. And so yeah. And so since then, like geriatrics is just kind of my thing. So I think it was just kind of meant to be type of thing, because you know, who expects their accounting teacher to walk up to them with this type of an opportunity? So I I just fell in love with it.

SPEAKER_02 52:38

I definitely have a soft spot for elderly folks like that. It's just, I don't know, it always reminds me of my grandma. And we all get to that age. Hopefully, we we get to live a long life and get to that point. So you gotta remember that. And it's like those people that that that live that long, they put in their time and contributed to society, and you know, taking care of them is really important. Um dementia is one of those things that always kind of has scared me. And I I I say that with not to offend anyone, but um it's it's always scared me just because I've been close to it. My grandma that I was really close to, and I've talked about her on this podcast before, um she had dementia, and her and I were really close. She raised my brother and I. And so I got to see over time like what dementia does and how sad it is. And um, to me, it was always scary because she didn't know, she didn't recognize me. And before I was like one of her favorite grandchildren, and she'd always confused me for her son, which was my uncle or one of my uncles or one of my other cousins. Did you so with dementia, you've never felt like I don't know what it was that scared me, but did you ever feel like you were kind of like, uh I don't know, like how'd you react in this? Or did it ever intimidate you anyway or like that?

SPEAKER_00 53:48

Or not really, not so much. There there was one instance where one patient was so bad they actually became a little violent at one point where I had to jump over my desk. So I mean, it was a little scary, but I do understand just the process of what kind of happens in those scenarios as far as from their point of view. Obviously, they can't help that.

SPEAKER_03 54:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 54:12

And even when it comes to like mental health type stuff, I have just a really good ability to not have things like that scare me because I try and look at it from their point of view and understand from like what's going on within their mind. And it just kind of makes that easier to try and navigate. I I think the hardest part though, I did have an instance where this lady, her husband had passed, and because she was super forgetful, every single day she would come down and she would ask where her husband was. And so people have, you know, this, you know, confliction of like, you know, don't lie. You should never lie, right? But in instances like that, it came to a point where you kind of need to, you kind of had to. So like I would tell her, he went and he just went to go get some groceries. Because if you told her every single day and reminded her that her husband had passed away, she would start crying. And at some point, oh, it'd be horrible. I mean, to relive your spouse's death. In that instance, you know, lying is is not something that you can really feel too bad about, in my opinion, because otherwise you're just re-inflicting that pain on a daily basis. So that was probably the hardest thing that I had to do as far as dealing with dementia patients there.

SPEAKER_02 55:28

I just couldn't imagine that, like, you know, having to tell someone that it's kind of reminds me of that movie uh was it 50 First Dates when Did you ever see that movie with Adam Sandler, like where he has to keep reminding that girl what you know what happened or how they met and the accident that she was in and all that. Like I can't imagine having to explain that to somebody and then just watching their heart break and oh, that would just that would that would tear me up. Like I I can get real sensitive to that kind of stuff. I know it's kind of hard to believe for some of my listeners out there probably, but that kind of stuff just uh it shakes me up. So I I can't imagine. And and like I said, I I think that with dementia, it's one of those things where uh you know with the elderly, you kind of have to treat them kind of like a little kid, because you wouldn't tell a little kid certain things that you're you're just not they're not ready to hear or listen to. And so yeah, yeah, more mad props to you for being able to to deal with that kind of stuff because it does take a lot of patience. You you mentioned that you uh you have to be empathetic for for this type of work, and unfortunately, I don't know what it is, but there has been a lot of cases where I've had family members and friends that experienced folks in like hospitals and whatnot not be so friendly and not be so caring and what have you. And it's like for a job like that, you have to be because you're dealing with with all sorts of things, and people are already don't want to be there for one, the hospital, you know, and then you're dealing from anything from people that are sick, dying from illnesses, to newborns to first time whatever's I I just you know, it's one of those jobs where you definitely do have to care and have that empathy and and and what have you.

SPEAKER_00 57:03

Yeah, I totally agree. And and that's been some of my frustrations even working in this field, is there there is a lot of bullying and nursing. Of course, I can't speak like on a provider side or anything like that, but unfortunately there are some people that just seem to not be in it for you know the right reasons.

SPEAKER_02 57:22

Do you think it's money or is it like that's that there's a need for it, or what what do you think is the motivating factor that you've kind of observed or that might be?

SPEAKER_00 57:31

Yeah, uh well, once you get into those higher levels of of income, I do notice there are a lot of people that money obviously does, you know, they like nice things. Um they they like to let you know it. However, I was kind of spoiled when I first got into the medical field because the very first provider that I worked for, um, he had been doing this for so long, and he drove, I don't even know how old it was, but it was a really old Honda Civic, and you would never know he was a doctor. He likes he never flashed, you know, anything. And it was back in the days, back of paper charting, actually. Um, and like he would go to the hospital in the morning for a couple hours, do rounds, then he would come over to the clinic, I would room his patients for him. And then at the end of the day, every single person that called, I would line up on the phone for him and he would call every single patient back. And then he would go back over to the hospital. So he was putting in like 14 to 16 hour days. Now, that's somebody who does not care about money. He really cared about his patients. And the longer that I've been in this field, unfortunately, that's simply just I don't see that much anymore. And it is really sad. I can't really make a huge generalized stem as far as that goes, but but you can definitely tell the people that don't want to be there anymore, or maybe because it's they're just simply burned out. But it's really important that if you don't have the self-awareness to realize that you are kind of losing that empathy and losing that part of you as a provider of swords, you know, it's the patients that suffer with that. And your ability to to help them fully and help them navigate through a system that's already confusing and and difficult, even when you're feeling fine, much less when you're feeling sick or or stressed or anything like that. So it's yeah, it's definitely a very interesting um field to be in and and and difficult to very difficult to manage just being a nurse in this field. Um I can't imagine working in the hospital side. I I have never worked hospital side. Um I've always been in the clinic or like outpatient settings, but we all have our battles, that's for sure.

SPEAKER_02 59:45

Yeah, I I definitely um have ha heard stories. Like I've got uh friends that are in the medical field, and just the some of the stories that I've heard are just like, whoa, like I I just I can't imagine the level of stress that you folks deal with. Like when you have people in there panicking and you know that you have someone's life in your hand. Like that's that's a lot of responsibility to take in and you know, you do your best to try to help them. I'm sure there's times where you're just like, uh, there's not much I can do here. Like I'm limited by X, Y, or Z. Um with the healthcare system the way that it is here. Do you feel what what do you what are your thoughts on that? Like on how um things are run currently with with the health with the health insurance and all that.

SPEAKER_00 1:00:28

Yeah, well, for a while I actually headed up a prior authorization department when I had moved over to Indiana for a time because it was a new practice, and so they didn't have a department there. So it was my job to uh put everything together. I spoke with the insurance companies, so anytime any of the doctors there in the primary care were ordering any kind of imaging or medications, it would be my job to go in the charts, fill out any prior authorization paperwork to try and get it passed. Oftentimes I would have to call the insurance companies. Um, I would have to get them on the phone. I'd have to go interrupt the physician when they were in with the patients because you have to catch them while they're on the phone. Otherwise, it'll take forever to get things authorized. So um I definitely see where there's always gonna be areas in healthcare that it's just it's hard to improve upon it. And I understand that. We hear a lot of things we hear about like United Healthcare and like people getting denied for like these things. And here it's insurance companies denying these things, but they don't have the medical knowledge that the doctors do. And how do they have the right to make these decisions based on that? Like there are there are definitely a lot of places that could be made more efficient that would make more sense. Uh, you know, and I don't know what the answers are to all of that. And and it's hard because when you have huge companies like that and large amounts of money and and persuasion and other things I don't know behind the scenes, it's it's tough. It's it really gets to me sometimes because people need their medicines and because they can't afford it, or if they can't get it in a timely manner, I mean that that can sometimes be the difference between life or death for some of these patients.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:09

Yeah, that that that part is just it's heartbreaking and it's really it's just uh to me, it's just mind blowing that when I hear about the cost of some of these medicines that people have to take in order to just to be alive and to wake up another day. And it's it's one of those things that uh that I wish there was I wish we had a better solution. I wish that there was a a better answer and that people that there there there was something that we could do um to change it. You know, that's kind of what's kind of made me start thinking about my future. I'm just thinking like I gotta get healthy and I gotta watch what I eat, exercise, stop drinking, stop the smoking, the stuff that type of stuff is it is for sure. But certain I know there's certain things that you just can't help.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:51

People are born with certain illnesses that you know they couldn't help that they were just they were born with it, and then now for the rest of their life they have to depend on certain medications and I I do I that I guess that is definitely one thing that I would say is from my understanding, a lot of providers and doctors are not really given the education as far as diet and nutrition, which you would think they would get a lot more of that than they actually do.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:20

Are you talking about giving it to the patients or to give it to their client?

SPEAKER_00 1:03:24

Oh, just just doctors learning as they're going through med school. Like they don't really spend a lot of time being taught about the dietary aspects of a lot of things. I don't know if you notice or know of um anybody who's gone through this, but it just some of the providers just want to kind of push the pills. Or on on the other side of things, a lot of patients would prefer to just take a pill and instead of having to work out and eat right and things like that. But at the end of the day, I think it just comes to education all around. But if we could maybe change that part of the healthcare system where the providers are more educated on on that portion of it, instead of being so quick to just writing a prescription and trying to get the patient out of the room because you know there's tons of patients they have to see. I mean, it's a lot to to juggle, I understand. But I also think that a lot of these things could also help in the bigger picture and the bigger scope of practice is if we start with the most holistic things that we can first as far as movement and diet. And a lot of it just comes down to the education part of that that the providers just don't get.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:32

I was gonna say, uh unfortunately, too, in this day and age, there's just so much information out there too, and everything is countering what one thing says. So you can get your information here, here, and here you can get in four or five different places, and all of them are gonna tell you completely different ways of how you should lose weight or how you should stay healthy, or you know, what what you should be eating and what you shouldn't be eating, and that that's what makes it really hard. I know for me, for myself, anytime that I'm looking, uh, it's it's like I I find something, I'm like, all right, I'm gonna try this, but then I read about a little bit more elsewhere, and it's like, oh, that's not what you're supposed to be doing. It's like it's so you're getting pulled one way, you're getting pulled the other way, and it gets super frustrating. And it's like, okay, well, where how can I get the real facts of and then you and then it then you hear about how it's tied to genetics, it's tied to this. And so it's like, well, what the hell is the answer? Uh maybe that's just, you know, maybe I and maybe just like with anything else, you have to find what works for you uh when it comes to the diets that that you work. I know that I feel, in my personal opinion, that medicines and are and pills are pushed. Like it's it's it's just it's always a solution for anything. They want to give it to you and tell you to stick to this, this will cure it, this will fix it, this will and then before you know it, you have all this other stuff that now you have to take this other medication to counter what those side effects are from the other medication that you're taking. And I've gotten to the point, and this is not medical advice for me, this is just me saying what I do. I don't take medication anymore. I stopped doing it. And if I take Advil or Tylenol or whatever, it's it is ibuprofen, I should say. It is very rare that I will take that. I gotta be having a major headache for whatever reason to take it.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:12

That's totally me. That's totally me too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:15

I I just I hate being dependent on anything. And I know damn well that I I could probably benefit from medication for my because I got big time ADHD. I've learned that over the last couple of years of of just observing my bad, like crazy habits and how just chaotic I am. And I'm sure I would benefit from taking medication, but then I'd be dependent on it. And then I'd have to, you know, and then who knows what those side effects are gonna be from that. And it's like I'll just I'll deal with it. I'll learn to just just move with it. I mean, people people have lived with this for long before they had a you know cure medication for it.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:49

So Yeah, I mean there's definitely a you know a time and place, and you do have to you bring up a a very valid point, is that you have to look at each patient individually, and there are differences. You do have those genetic components you have to think of. You do have to see what diagnoses uh may affect certain things too that may not be affected by medications either, instead of just jumping straight to medication every single time. But you do have to uh take every patient into account in their specific situation too, because there is not a one medication fix-all type thing. And there are certain conditions where you need medication. Yeah, I'm definitely more of the thought of, hey, if we can fix this more naturally so you don't have to spend money on medication, I think that would definitely help um any patient. But some people don't want that either. They'd rather just pop a pill because it's it's easier, and that's completely up to them. But yeah, at the end of the day, it's just like there are so so many providers that, yeah, just seem they just want to rate that prescription real quick.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:49

I was gonna say it it feels like anytime I've ever gone to the doctor, um, and I I go through Kaiser, a permanente, they they it seems so impersonal. Like I go in there and they might if they're in there for five minutes talking to me for anything that I, you know, have going on or whatever, it's five minutes at max. And that that's like a long time. They're in there usually really quick and they already have a solution for me, and then they just, like you said, hand you over a prescription and then whatever. And it's like I remember when I was younger, it didn't seem like it was like that. Maybe, maybe it was different when I was younger. But whenever I was a kid and I'd go to the doctor with my mom, it was like your doctor knew you, they knew your medical history, they knew your family's medical history, they took the time to actually look into what was happening or what was going on. And now it's just like you go in there and they just they don't even know sometimes they don't even know how to pronounce your name, like my last name or something. It's like why.

SPEAKER_00 1:08:41

Right, right. No, yeah. And you're you're totally right. I've been in this field now for long enough where I have seen the difference of what you speak of, even with them transitioning into having hospitalists at the hospital to save like that first doctor that I was telling you about who went over to the hospital and then would come over to the clinic. They don't have to do that anymore because they have the hospitalists to take over that part. But I mean, obviously there's a shift in the way things are, and I it's profit-based. Do they want to get patients in and out and as quick as they can? And and there's a shortage of uh primary care doctors and other types of specialists. So I did work for providers, some would herd them in like cattle, and I just I can't work for providers like that. Like me as a person, I'm like, I still have a job. I'm still gonna listen to that patient if they're actively talking about something or if they're crying in the room about something. Um, I just I can't, I can't work for those types of providers. I mean, some people they want to keep the providers happy, you have to keep the patients moving, and they don't have all day. And the providers, they also they have their higher-ups that they have to keep happy and go by their policies and rules and and getting breath down their backs about things. So it's hard. I can only imagine. I would definitely not ever want to be a provider as far as that goes. But patient care has definitely changed since I first got into the game pretty much right out of high school.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:07

So, what what is your tuck current title right now? Are you are you a nurse or you're a nurse?

SPEAKER_00 1:10:11

Yeah, so so yeah, I'm a nurse. So LPN. Uh I got my uh nursing license during the pandemic in 2020. So that was definitely interesting. It definitely made me question my choices at point. That's definitely not something you think that you're ever going to run into as a pandemic situation. So it was it was definitely a different kind of stress, but I got through it and I've had wonderful experiences. I've worked in many specialties uh just to kind of see, you know, what kind of nursing do I want to do? Um, so that was a good way to kind of figure that out. So I've worked in multiple specialties. I worked for neurosurgery, O B G Y N, high-risk pregnancies, internal medicine is where I've spent a lot of my time, uh, endocrinology, so with diabetics. Uh and there are areas that I know I can't work in, like prisons. I once walked through a prison for an interview, and uh I just I'm too empathetic for that kind, plus the types of populations that are in prisons, they they are very manipulative.

SPEAKER_02 1:11:17

I say, yeah, that's that's you're you're at a high risk there um in a situation like that. That's kind of scary.

SPEAKER_00 1:11:24

Yeah, so it's it's been great. I'm glad I got my nursing license, but I have stepped back a little bit from that role. I am currently what's called an oncology data specialist. So they used to call us cancer registrars. And basically what that is, is I work completely remotely from home and I capture the complete history, diagnosis, treatment information, and health status of cancer patients. And that data is collected of every single cancer patient in the whole United States. Now, obviously, I don't do every single patient data collection, but I work for a health system based out of Arizona. And so there's a health system in Arizona that I go through records and determine who truly has cancers. And I pull about 200 data items about their cancer from when did they start radiation? When did they start chemotherapy? What was the name? How long were they on it? What day were they diagnosed? I mean, just anything that you can think of when it comes to cancer. It's it's their story. And the whole idea and the whole premise is to hopefully finding cures for all these cancers. What is working based on the data that we're collecting?

SPEAKER_02 1:12:39

You know, I've I've always wondered, you hear about how the cancer rate in like Europe is like so much higher for the cures compared to the United States. Is that is that to be is that true, or is that just something I've maybe just heard that is just a rumor?

SPEAKER_00 1:12:54

No, I mean I don't know as far as in other countries because we just focus on the survival rate, I should say.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:00

Like the the survival rate of cancer. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:13:02

Yeah. I mean, I'm sure certain types, I'm sure there's definitely some truth to that, but I don't know the specifics as far as that goes. But certain countries definitely have higher rates of certain cancers. And I know a lot of it can be linked to, you know, diet. If you look at a lot of the studies or looking into that. Uh but they also have different registries too, and even here that go by like occupation. So like firefighters. So there's registry for firefighters. But overall, data's collected in all 50 states. And if there is a certain type of cancer that is obviously higher in one area versus another, they're gonna look and see it. Is this environmental? Like what is causing this specifically? So uh it's definitely a very interesting feel, very, very interesting. And so working the back end like that, like I love it because that would be awesome to eventually get a cure for every type of cancer if we could.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:55

That would be great. I've always wondered like, is there maybe like a an answer out there that just isn't being shared for the reasons like we were just talking about where uh and people will call that a conspiracy theorist, that's fine.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:14:08

Um I've always wondered, I've always wondered if there's just so much profit in big pharma that uh they pay, they pay these doctors, they pay these big these big companies to continue keeping people sick. Um I've always wondered if maybe there is a cure out there. I mean, we have if we're able to have self-driving vehicles and we have all these smart devices and all this, just all this technology, but we can't find a cure for these cancers that have been around for so long. It's just like it makes me it just makes me wonder. It's like, is there a cure, but we're just not wanting to get it out there because there's just too much money to be made from the radiations and the pills and all that that they put you then when you find out how expensive like I think I read somewhere where a pill was like for one patient was like a thousand dollars or something like that, or I don't know how true that is, but I was like, what? That is just that's insane to think about. And that's something that they need, like we were talking about, to to survive, to live, or to you know, yeah. And then you and then and then you wonder like how good of a quality of life they have even when they take that medication, because you know, the radiation here, how people get so sick from that and they feel miserable.

SPEAKER_00 1:15:16

Well, you are not the only person that brought that up. I have heard that argument too, but I now working in this field on this side of things, like there would have to be such a huge, you know, like you say, conspiracy about it. Yeah. Because to pay people like with what I do, but I also have a cousin who has a PhD and works in the lab overseas, and to know from that side of things, like everything that she has to do in her line of work and these that go into studies for things like that. I mean, it would be so much money just to continuously pay these providers that have to spend, you know, a couple of years on these papers and these studies to submit, and then they have to be peer reviewed, and then, you know, it's all based off of scientific data. I mean, yeah, there's definitely a lot of profit when it comes to medications and things in the cancer field, but I abstract multiple different kinds of cancers, and so I read every day what the doctors, how they explain how some of these cancers work, and I get to see, you know, what kind of radiations are helping certain types of cancers, and it would just be it would be a lot to hold that type of a thing up across the world, that there's just like some kind of hidden cure for everything. I mean, if you think of the amount of people, I mean, yeah, somebody would be bound to slip up. I mean, there's just no way that that would hold.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:43

Yeah, eventually. I mean, you you never know. Maybe, maybe a hundred years from now, people will be like, yeah, they had it over at Area 51. They've been testing it, but they held it with withheld it or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 1:16:52

Gosh, I hope.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:53

I saw something on another, you know, this is all stuff that you just see online, and there's a lot of silliness and craziness online. But I saw something online about how veterinarians were some veterinarian scientists had discovered something that would help make your dog live a lot longer, or your pets. Um, and that was gonna be released sometime in the next couple of years or something like that. And I was I got really excited about that. I was like, I would love for my dogs to be able to live, but then you wonder like what would that quality of life be like for them. But I know that their bodies, I think they they grow a lot faster or older, faster than humans. Um, so maybe it slows down the aging process or something. I'm not not 100% sure on what that is. But it's it could be could be a could be just some hoax that was online that but I saw it a lot, it was getting posted everywhere, and I I I literally question everything. You can call me a conspiracy theorist, but I mean there's nothing wrong with that. I mean, yeah, I I'm a person that I'm that problem child that was like at the office, I'm that guy that asks the questions that no one else wants to ask, but everyone's thinking. Yeah and then the bosses are like, damn you, hold on, we'll come back to that. We'll answer that question next week. And then it's like it's like stirring the pot kind of at the but at the same time, I'm like, no, I'm really curious. I'm not really trying to get everyone riled up, but I'm thinking of stuff that you probably weren't thinking of, or maybe that you just didn't want to speak back about or something. Yeah, it's kind of ones you don't want to open up.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:15

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 1:18:16

What would you say, like, is there a moment in your in your career that you've done this where it just really like just tugged at your heart and that will always stand out, whether that be with the patient or something you saw or something. What would can you think of one moment right now, if I was to ask you, like where it tugged on your heart and you were just like, Oh my god, can you tell do you have any stories like that of a moment that just really just got personal to you? Like where you're just like, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_00 1:18:42

Oh boy. That's really Yeah, there do there definitely is. I would say, especially, you know, because I do love the geriatric population. So when it comes to uh anything having to do with like end-of-life situations, um, which I experienced personally with my grandfather, it was the first time I actually uh sat with him through that death and dying process. And so it's it's always sad and difficult to navigate. It's one thing to do it in a professional manner when it's different in a personal manner as well. So that always definitely tugs in my heartstrings. And and also having worked in OBGYN and perinatology, which perineatology is high risk pregnancy, there are pregnant women getting bad news all the time of how their fetus was not going to survive the pregnancy. So there were a lot of tears in that department.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:34

Yeah, that that hits close to home. I have some close family members that have dealt with that and friends, and that's just I can't imagine. I cannot imagine that. Like I'm not a dad, I don't have any kids, but I do have a nephew and I know what it did to me when he was born. Like it just when people say that when you have a kid or whatever, like you instantly know what love is. I knew instantly, like when he was born, I just there was this connection. I just like I didn't even tear up myself. I had to step out of the room when I saw him, because I was just like, oh my god, like all these emotions that I just couldn't explain I never felt before. But I just I can't imagine like a mother that's been carrying a fetus to uh all of a sudden get the news that you know it's no longer it's no longer alive.

SPEAKER_00 1:20:16

That was tough. You know, parineatology, it was definitely probably one of the roughest areas I've worked in. Um just because of that component of death and them having to carry them to terms sometimes, just knowing that the child was not going to survive. I mean, it's just a whole nother toll on your mental health that I don't think people necessarily think about. And, you know, they just don't have a choice in the matter and and the safety of it, sometimes they have to. They just go through the whole birthing process. And so it's a lot. And mental health, just in general, has always also been very dear to my heart, too, because they they can't help it. And so when we talk about like mental illness and like PTSD and things like that, people can be judgmental in cases like that. However, uh, I've have known people to have severe mental illness, you know, that have had issues with dissociating. I mean, severe, severe trauma, anger, and um it's just very sad because it's like who chooses to have mental illness? I mean, it's not like anybody would truly want to feel that way on a daily basis or or to be like, yes, I mean, okay, I'll have some mental illness today. Yeah, it's totally a choice. I mean, obviously it's not. So my heart goes out to to those types of patients, especially too, because a lot of times they are kind of villainized. And I worked in a a methadone clinic for a time, uh, and I really enjoyed it. Everybody was super nice. They would come in for their visits, and the best thing you can do for any kind of patient is just show them that you you understand that they're human and to not judge them, because they're not going to open up if you're completely judgmental or you're rude or you're very quick with them. I mean, at the end of the day, we're all patients. We all have our issues, and my job as a nurse is to provide the best care that I can and listen to you and try and help you. So whether that be a prisoner, whether that be somebody in a methadone clinic, I mean, my job at the end of the day is to try and help you.

SPEAKER_02 1:22:22

Yeah. Like and like I said again, I give mad props to anyone that does what you do, and mad props to you, because it does take a lot of of empathy and a lot of patience. And I'm one of those people that I I definitely couldn't do it for a number of reasons. I know that I would get too choked up in those situations. I I tend to be a person that uh when it's a fight or flight, I don't know which one I'm gonna be. I could be either or. Um and I know that you need to be really good about you know now being able to react on the flight and in a good way, not like freeze up. Also, I'm always like I'm always on the guard, I I would say. So I'm always uh wondering like what people's true intentions are. So it could be real easy for me to be kind of judgy in a way, not judgy like but judgy in a like, all right, I'm gonna be I gotta get my guard up. I gotta be careful with so and so or with people, just the people in general. I actually don't leave my house much anymore. I avoid leaving the house. I I do go out, yes. It's an exaggeration, but I prefer to be home nowadays more than I like to be out because there is a lot of people out there that yeah, it's safer just and and mental health is one thing, but I think it's another thing where people have just become careless about things, like where um and I'm not talking about people that have mental health issues, I'm talking about people that just are so impatient with others and they want to take out their frustrations on other things that they see that are happening around the world or in their lives, and so uh it's easy for them to go up to a random stranger and just punch them in the face, or you know, you you hear about the crazy people that will if you honk at them, they follow you, and then there was a guy here in uh not not not too long ago. Someone honked at someone on the freeway, they followed him out to the store, and then broad daylight just come out and they blew the person's head head off.

SPEAKER_00 1:24:06

Gosh, yeah, that's such a hard time.

SPEAKER_02 1:24:09

Yeah, and it's it's just it's one of those things where I'm just like, you know what, I just I can't pee I've been in customer service before for so long, I just can't deal with people very much anymore. Or I just don't have the patience. So, like again, I give mad props to to you for having the empathy and looking at things in a different way. And I as I've gotten older, I have gotten better about trying to be empathetic and trying to understand people from their point of view, not just always being so closed-minded and just considering that knowing the fact that everyone is going through something. And then you also don't know when you're out and about if the thing that you do, whether you cut them off on the freeway or flip them off because they cut you off or whatever, that might be the point where they're just like, All right, fuck it. I'm gonna I'm gonna go do something crazy right now, whether that's to you or back at home. Like you hear about people killing their own family members and and all that stuff, too, just because they they are in a in a moment of rage. And so with with mental health, I love that it's becoming more aware now and people are are talking about it more. As far as like I know I know you mentioned you worked with with like the cancer numbers. Have you noticed that the numbers have been going up since you started doing that? Or are they kind of just staying like the same or um well?

SPEAKER_00 1:25:23

So I I work with the health system in Arizona, so specific to that, uh I can say as far as what I abstract, I notice probably the number one amount of cases, there's more breast cases. Uh, breast cancers are definitely going up um just in general. I mean, colon cancer as well. Yeah, I'm sure you've probably heard um about that. Yes, but there are definitely advances too. And so uh I just recently heard that there's a study that there may be some advances with pancreatic cancer in, I believe it was mice or rats. Generally they do studies on rats. So hopefully that you know is good news for pancreatic cancer, because obviously, usually by the time you're diagnosed with that, it's usually fatal. Not always, but it is one of those cancers that unfortunately we don't really have good screening for. And I actually, my great-grandmother passed from pancreatic cancer, so I'm really hopeful that there will definitely be some good news on that front as far as cancer. But yeah, definitely, definitely a very interesting area for sure. And and mental health, I wish I wish there were across the board mental health services that would help everybody, even from birth, just or well not necessarily from birth, but you know, as young children, like starting at that level, I think could help so much. And then for people that are diagnosed with major life altering things for them, just to be able to have that access would help. And even with medical diagnosis and having that support system, I mean, I can tell you a story uh personally that with my grandfather back in the early 90s, he got the diagnosis of colon cancer, and that is what he's he actually passed from. He was given a diagnosis and it was terminal, and because the provider was not very good when it came to the bedside manner, he was very cold, he said verbatim, you can either die in the hospital or you can die at home. And because he had said it in such a way, my grandfather gave up and he passed away like in two days. So it's so important, the mind in general. I mean, there are people that will fight and they will last longer than somebody that completely just gives up. I mean, I I've seen that a lot.

SPEAKER_02 1:27:44

Yeah, it's with cancer, uh it's one of those things that I unfortunately might had family members pass from it and have had family members that that have survived it. And it's just it's it's so weird how cancer can do you could you could have two people that get diagnosed and And one can go one route and the other one can go the other route, and then before you know it, one might survive and the other one might be living still. And it's it's just it's it's one of those things. I wish that we had a cure for it. It's one of it's just you hear about all these sad cases, and it's like, why the hell do we not have a cute? Why is that not a priority right now? And I'm sure it is to get to get uh a cure for it. But I just feel like with all the things that we have, the the advances in technology and all that, that we would have something for for something that's been that's taken so many lives away from us.

SPEAKER_00 1:28:32

Yeah, I mean they're definitely working on it, and the data is out there, but like you said too, I just I don't think it's out there enough. There's so much information out there, but it's also hard at the same box at the same time to decipher what is true, what isn't, what's conspiracy, and what's not. And that's unfortunate too. But I can say I have seen that there are advances. I mean, people are still living longer. The cancers that did used to ultimately be a death sentence several years ago, that's no longer the case. But then on the flip side, now we have rising colon cancer cases, and so their focus is shifting to that. Well, what has changed? And so there's always something that is evolving or something that is changing, that they're always just having to run tests and all these studies. So we're all working together. I mean, I would hope that every medical professional is getting into it to ultimately help people and not just for the money, but a lot of work goes into everybody working together, and and whether it be for cancer or or heart disease or any realm in the medical field like that, just hopefully someday we'll get there. We're not gonna live forever. I understand that, but I think there are a lot of good things out there that people aren't aware of.

SPEAKER_02 1:29:45

Definitely. Uh I I I hear about uh constantly about the this advanced technology that doctors are able to perform some sort of surgeries and work by remote. Is that is that correct? Is that true?

SPEAKER_00 1:29:59

Yeah, so well, I mean if you're talking about like the robots, I know there are providers that can do it remotely with patients being in an operating room and then being elsewhere. Yeah, I mean I haven't known any providers personally that have been able to do that, but it's definitely an interesting concept. So I mean it definitely scares me, but the technologies that they have are definitely amazing. And hey, if that's your best chance or or the only way uh to do it.

SPEAKER_02 1:30:28

Yeah, I mean, if you have a doctor that specializes in a certain surgery that you know is needed, why not? Like, but but it just it blew my mind when I first found out about that and I heard about it. I was like, what? No, like this this is unreal. Like I don't know if I would I would trust it, but at the same time, if you're in a situation where you don't know, like you the doctor may may say, like, I don't have any experience this, but I recommend this person, they're out in this other country or they're in this completely across the States. That that could be an option. I think that's one of those calls that you would have to make, obviously, for yourself if you feel like that's your best bet. But when I found out about that, I was just like, wow, like it's wild that we have that kind of technology that people that doctors are using that. But I I think it's great. I think it's awesome. I love seeing that we're able to find alternate ways for doctors to be able to perform that kind of work.

SPEAKER_00 1:31:19

Yeah, I mean technology in general, it's always been a love-hate relationship for me, which is funny to say considering, you know, like I said, I wanted to work with computers to begin with, but medical and and technology and robotics and things like that do go together really well in the advancements that go and as far as you know, even transplants and things like that that are not always a human tissue. So yeah, there's definitely uh a lot of things you have to take into consideration when making decisions when it comes to that type of thing. But uh, you know, I I think overall it's an awesome thing to be able to have those types of technologies to do that.

SPEAKER_02 1:31:58

Do you ever uh shadow, are you like ever able to like shadow the doctors and go see some of the things that you typically wouldn't do with your job just to kind of get better understanding of how it all works? Or is that just not a possibility that happens with with nursing?

SPEAKER_00 1:32:13

Yeah, um, so definitely not my current role, but as a nurse in general, yeah. I mean, I would say I when I worked in cardiology for a time, I was able to go into the cath lab. And there's different areas of the cardiology field. I don't know how many people may know that. I didn't really know that going in. But I worked for the area which we basically called the plumbing. Basically, if you had clogged arteries, you know, and you needed angios done, that's what we would take care of. There's another section called the EP or electrophysiology part of cardiology, where it has to do with like heart rhythms. So one time I got to go into uh the operating room with them and watch them um, and they would do this for hours on end. I don't know how they do it, but uh if there was uh arrhythmia, they went into the heart and they were basically just kind of poking all these areas on the inside of the heart, trying to find this one specific spot, and they would do that for like hours on end. I wouldn't want to be that kind of a cardiologist, but man, they have such a passion to do that. And um that's probably the closest as far as watching being in the OR and the instrumentation. I thought it was kind of neat how in the OR too they how when they get all gowned up, so they don't have to carry the weight while they're standing there and operating over the patient. They actually had they just like stepped into uh this clothing and it was being held up so that way they didn't have the weight like on their shoulders and on their body, but they were still completely protected. So I thought that was a really good idea because you don't really think of those things like just standing there and then having that extra weight would over time, you know, you'd be really fatigued. So that was kind of neat to see firsthand too. Just things like that you don't think about or you don't see because you're generally under if you're the one in the in the OR. So unless you work there, you don't know.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:05

Would you say that you've seen a huge improvement as far as the technology and just the advances in the healthcare system since when you first started to to now? Like a huge leap, or do you kind of just kind of it's been kind of uh slow, or would you say fast, or would you say it's kind of stayed the same?

SPEAKER_00 1:34:24

It's hard to say. I've worked in a lot of different specialties and and so I haven't been able to see for a long period of time. I don't think I've been maybe in one specialty long enough to kind of see those kind of advances um or to necessarily keep up. Um, but I'm always interested in reading like new studies and new advances. Um, you know, I do know people that work in the fields um as far as um when they go to practice to practice. And it's not just medications. I mean, they have people that go in and they actually talk about these types of services that they offer, and they'll have people that work for companies, and then when they go into the OR, like the person from that company will come in with that. So I would say primarily when I was in cardiology and like the heart valves and things like that, there were definitely advances there. But yeah, other than that, I've kind of mainly just been in the outpatient setting, primary care type area. Um, so not necessarily like surgery related, but I mean I know there's just so much out there and they're always trying to develop and find ways to advance procedures because you think about infection rates, you really want to keep infection rates down. And so I think that's where a lot of technology comes into is how can we make it safer for the patient and to avoid when we're talking about invasive procedures and pre-bending infections and things like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:44

Aaron Powell Where do you see yourself in like 10 years? Do you see yourself still in healthcare or what part of healthcare or uh what what are your um career, what are your career goals for uh for the healthcare future?

SPEAKER_00 1:35:58

It's a great question. Great question. I mean I've it's in my blood. I will definitely never leave the medical field completely since high school. Like I said, I started there. I got my medical assistant. I was a medical assistant for 10 years before I even got my nursing license. I also have my health information management degree. I went for that with a specialization in the cancer registry, so I have that as well. I'm big on education, I'm big on helping people. The day that I lose my empathy or I lose my desire to help people, um, it's not gonna be a good day. I I just don't think it's in my blood to help people. So yeah, I definitely I would say in 10 years, I just I don't really know. I I will be I will be in the medical field, I guess that's all I can say.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:44

I love that I can hear the passion in your voice and I can tell that you're you're authentic about caring and showing empathy, not like this fakeness about it. So I think with uh like I said, with this this type of role when you're in healthcare, you you do have to you do have to have those characteristics because otherwise you're probably gonna have a you're it's gonna be very tough when you have jerks like me in there. If you're dealing with my mom or you're dealing with my one of my family members and you're mistreating them, I I'll I'm the I'm the the jackass that will be a dick back and I will raise hell and I'll go to the supervisors or the managers or whatever. I'll I'll raise all sorts of hell, you know what I mean? So I know people take their family very serious when it comes to them being at the doctors or at the hospital. And um, like I said, I've I've had to unfortunately deal with um nasty um RNs and all that before in the past, where it's like why like why are you doing this job if you absolutely cannot handle a situation like this? You know?

SPEAKER_00 1:37:45

Well, I'm yeah, and I I feel the same way. And that's been my biggest question too, is because I mentioned earlier there's a lot of bullying in nursing alone. It's just like I'm I thought we were in this together. I thought we were in it to help patients, and that sadly, it's not always the case. And it's just baffling to me. Um, people like that.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:04

Are you talking bullying like within like coworkers to co-workers or bullying the patients or both?

SPEAKER_00 1:38:09

Yeah. Oh, coworkers to co-workers, especially. I mean, I would say I would rather put up with the meanest patients than the the worst bully in the nursing field. It's just a whole different dynamic.

SPEAKER_02 1:38:21

I wonder if it's a competitive thing, like where they maybe feel like you're a threat to them and maybe that's why they do they do that. But some people are just they're that way. They're just jerks.

SPEAKER_00 1:38:30

Yeah. I mean, you're gonna have it anywhere. Like I I totally get that too. But you can you do what you do, and as long as nobody gets in my way of being able to take care of a patient, like I can work around those things. But you talking as, you know, going in with your family member and things like that and feeling some type of way, uh, I also get frustrated with providers that um are very dismissive when it comes to patients. And that's really hard to see, especially if you're in the same room or having to work for that kind of provider. And I think it's so important, and I always tell patients, you have to be your own advocate. Like, you know, get that second opinion, get that third opinion if you have to. And like we talked before, providers are always so quick to write prescriptions. And and even in my own personal life, my own provider is more than willing to write prescriptions, and and I'm the one that says no, you know, like I want to find the cause. I I don't want to just jump to a prescription to figure it out. And uh and they listen. So I think it's really important for people to know and not ever feel bad that if you don't feel that you're being treated appropriately, if you don't think that they're listening to you, you have every right to go with a second opinion. And I kind of have a story about that. Uh let's hear it.

SPEAKER_02 1:39:42

Because you know what, you bring up a good point. I've had several people that I've seen on social media that I know, um, and actually family members too, where they go to the doctor and the doctor does not believe them or they want to give them prescription or they just don't consider what they're saying. They think that it's all in their head. And it's like, if this person is constantly having these issues and they keep telling you, like, why don't you like why don't you find an alternative in the same thing that you're saying to them? And and how do you deal with that? So that is a common thing that I've heard many people say that they just they don't feel heard when they go to the doctor and their doctor just wants to like kind of basically just get them on some medication or get them out of their out of their way. So I love that you're provide you're giving that advice that you have to be your own advocate, you have to go get a second or third opinion, sometimes even more, just depending on if you feel like something is wrong with your body, your body better than anybody else.

SPEAKER_00 1:40:31

Yeah. Oh, exactly. And that's you know, that's totally the thing. And you know, with this example, it just shows how important it is to be your own advocate. And it's understandable. I'm not a provider, but I can certainly imagine that when you see so many patients a day and they're complaining of say maybe the same things or you know what have you, but you have to think that there are diagnoses out there that are rare. You don't come across them very often. And you could be making a huge difference in this person's life if you're not, you know, self-aware that you're just kind of, I guess where it would be like desensitized. So, you know, maybe they're coming from that aspect as far as like, oh my gosh, I just hear all these hypochondriacs and nothing ever comes back wrong. And so they're kind of desensitized to listening to all these complaints and they just see black and white. But like I said, when you look at a patient, you have to treat them as an individual. You have to look at the the bigger picture of things, but you also have to look into that particular patient of what could be going on. So, yeah, my one example is uh a friend of mine was just recently diagnosed within the last few years with uh diabetes insipitus. I'm not sure if you're familiar with that.

SPEAKER_02 1:41:44

I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 1:41:45

So essentially, it's not the diabetes with the blood sugar, but um essentially it's just characterized by excessive urine output and extreme thirst. So it has to do with our antidiuretic hormone. So if you were to say, for an example, drink an eight-ounce glass of water, um, you could put out 24 ounces of urine. Well, that doesn't make sense, right?

SPEAKER_03 1:42:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:42:08

So this was going on for my friend for over 20 years before they got the diagnosis. They said growing up and going to school, even in elementary school, they have to, you know, raise their hand. I have to go to the bathroom, I have to go to the bathroom. And over time, like the teacher just didn't believe them, you know, thought, oh, it was just an excuse to to go out into the hall and talk or wander around. But for over 20 years, they just felt like nobody was listening. Like this is a problem. You know, I'm going to the bathroom like so much more than I should be. Um, and only an endocrinologist can actually diagnose this specific condition. 0.004% of the people worldwide have this. So it's pretty rare. And so when I talk about providers not listening to their patients, you know, you have to listen to your patients. Like for 20 years, like something was going on. And so to not send this person to a specialist to try and figure out what's going on and just to kind of be dismissive about it, that, oh, you just need this or or that. Of course, there's more major diagnosis that providers are dismissive about too. But yeah, at the end of the day, if they are not listening to you or you do not feel that they are listening to you, you have to be your own advocate, especially in this crazy medical system where everything is super fast. You may get like five or ten minutes with a provider. So definitely go in with your questions and make sure to have your ducks in a row the best you can and utilize their time. But I mean, for me, I have to have a provider that that listens to me. And and you can definitely tell the ones that do and the ones that don't.

SPEAKER_02 1:43:51

Yeah, I was gonna say maybe even having bringing in notes if you're keeping track of certain things or behaviors that are happening or when it's happening and and that kind of stuff, maybe that that will help. I love the advice you're giving because I I feel like that's a common thing I've seen people complain about, aside from you know, the cost of medications and constantly wanting to put people on medication, it's like the doctor doesn't listen, so uh is a very common thing. So Yeah. Definitely I'm hoping that at some point that that can change, uh, where you know we c we have people in there that actually have passions for helping people. So looks like we're at the over an hour mark here. Is there anything else you care to share with the listeners about any other stories or sound advice you could give for anyone that may be having challenges with their medical, any other medical inquiries or issues?

SPEAKER_00 1:44:40

Yeah, I mean, we pretty much covered most that I can think of, but definitely always be your no your own advocate, like we just talked about. Don't be afraid to ask questions. Don't ever be afraid to ask questions. There are no dumb questions. Uh listen to your body. Um and a lot of it is just finding the resources out there. There are resources out there. There are areas for prescription help coverage. And a big one too is when it comes to prescriptions. A lot of people kind of forget, utilize your pharmacists. If you have a question on a medication, it's going to be a lot quicker to get answers if you call a pharmacist to ask than if you call into your provider, leave that phone message and maybe a day or two before something gets back to you. You know, utilize the pharmacist for medication questions. They're a really good resource. Case managers, if it comes to hospitalizations, hospital questions, case managers are a really good source to of being able to find like local areas as well that I may not know as a nurse in this state, but in your state, there may be other resources. So uh if you can find a case manager. So it's not just, you know, you don't have to get into the doctor uh for every little thing. You don't have to ask them every little thing. There are a lot of resources out there. There are people that want to help. Just come together and talk to people, search forums, you know, do talk amongst yourself. But in this day and age, you do have to be careful with, you know, what's out there on TikTok and social media and and this thing. And um so you still listen to the science, in my opinion. But um, yeah, it's just really important to listen to your body, listen to yourself, and make sure your provider is providing the same.

SPEAKER_02 1:46:21

What are your thoughts on like web people that go on WebMD? Because I'm sure that could be frustrating when someone goes in there and it's good good information to kind of like consider, but then you get the hypochondriacs like you were just talking about, and then they they think they come in there and they're throwing all this knowledge, you know, that they that they read, and the the the knowledge may be information that's correct, but it's not applicable to their situation, and you have your records to show like, well, here we did these tests, but they're so hell bent on well, I saw this on WebMD, blah, blah, blah. And like, uh does that ever get frustrating, or um how uh how do you typically handle a situation like that when when um someone comes in that's uh WebMD certified?

SPEAKER_00 1:47:04

Yeah, yeah. No, totally. It is a fairly reputable source, but like I said, it depends individually what's going on too, so it may not be right. So I would say if you're doing your own research, that's fine. Write that down in your notepad. If if that's a question, just say, hey, right, doctor, I read this uh about this. Is this something that you think would be worth looking into or testing for? Um, so definitely make sure you have that provider that you know will listen to you and will be honest with you to maybe search that route. But also try not to look at that so much to the point where you've kind of already made your mind up that that's what it is. And do trust that the nurse and the provider, they're gonna ask you the questions that are most pertinent and that are important to them. And I know it doesn't make sense always as a patient, but our minds as medical professionals, we're already thinking five steps ahead. So we're already asking more pertinent questions than I think a lot of patients can realize too, that will give us a lot more information than a patient may think. So just, and I even have to tell my own grandmother that is just they're gonna ask the right questions that will that will help them. So answer their questions, but don't get so involved with the details and and so set on, you know, that you've read this thing or that thing, because it's just they don't have the time to explain the physiology and and the studies that they've gone through for this. As long as they're not being dismissive or and they give a true answer, that I really don't think that was a thing because of XYZ. But if things don't improve, we certainly could take that path. So yeah, I mean it's it's not really a black and white answer, is it's difficult, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing if you're looking into things online because, like I said, there are those rare diagnoses and those rare things out there that a lot of people don't have that can certainly not be thought of and dismissed by a provider.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:00

Awesome. I love it, Danielle. You provided with a lot of great information, and again, I can tell the passion in your voice, and I love that uh that you're doing something that you love, and that knowing that there's people out there that do care about their patients and do care about their work, that gives me hope. And I'm sure listeners out there can it gives them comfort knowing that there is people out there that do care about the work that they're doing. And you know, and we me as a person, I appreciate knowing that someone's out there that that cares and and puts um the effort into the work, especially with this type of work.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:32

Yeah, yeah, hundred percent, hundred percent. Well, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:36

Yeah, thank you for being on the show, and uh hopefully we'll get you on again sometime and we can discuss anything else that maybe we didn't miss and think back on. But thanks for being a guest on the show.

SPEAKER_00 1:49:46

Yeah, absolutely. It's good to talk to you.

SPEAKER_02 1:49:48

And that is the end of segment two. Thank you for tuning in this week, guys. Again, as always, big shout out to our monetary contributors and subscribers, Eric She. Eats and John King John. Thank you so much for your contributions monetary-wise for this podcast. If anyone out there wants to be donating, no amount is too small to donate, and we appreciate it because it does cost money to run the podcast for the programs and the softwares that we use, the equipment and all that fun stuff. So if you click on the Buzz Sprout or you look inside the uh you know Spotify or whatever, there is an option on there to donate a monthly subscription towards this podcast. And I appreciate all of you that do. That helps us big time. Other than that, I appreciate you guys for tuning in. So I always like to give a thank you and shout out to all of you guys that tune in and listen, all of you that constantly mention or talk on the uh question of the week and provide your thoughts. I love that. I love being able to discuss these things with you guys and hear your insights.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:51

And we love hanging with you.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:52

I love hanging with you, yeah. And we might end up going to video here soon so that way people can see our faces and the puppies, but I just gotta clean up.

SPEAKER_01 1:50:58

You can't see me right now.

SPEAKER_02 1:50:59

I know, it's early in the morning. So thank you guys all so much. And please keep spreading the word about the podcast. Please keep tuning in, sharing it, and we'll talk to you next week.

SPEAKER_01 1:51:08

In the words of Whitney Cummings.

SPEAKER_02 1:51:10

Be sure to find us on all social media platforms. Follow and subscribe.