Episode 13: Finding My Purpose

What if the life you thought you lost was actually preparing you for the life you were meant to live?

In this episode of Resilience with Tasha Schuh, I share one of the most meaningful seasons of my journey as I discovered gifts, purpose, and possibilities I never thought I'd have again.

From changing my college major to Communication Studies... to pursuing music after being told I would never sing again... to graduating from Winona State and beginning a second bachelor's degree... this chapter was filled with moments that slowly changed the direction of my life.

In this episode, you'll hear about:

• Changing my major and discovering a new purpose through public speaking.
• The miracle that followed after being told I would never sing again.
• The friendships, independence, and experiences that shaped who I was becoming.
• Graduating from Winona State and beginning the next chapter of my journey.

If you've ever wondered whether your life still has purpose after a setback, disappointment, or unexpected change, I hope this episode reminds you that sometimes the greatest miracles aren't the ones we expect—they're the ones that quietly shape us into the people we're becoming.

Next time on Resilience with Tasha Schuh:

I'll share the story of deciding to build a home of my own, taking another big step toward independence, and continuing to pursue the dream of becoming a full-time Inspirational Speaker.

Learn more about my story:

My Last Step Backward and My Next Move Forward are available on my website (tashaschuh.com) and on Amazon.

If this episode encouraged you, I'd be so grateful if you'd follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use a little encouragement today.

Learn more about my resilience coaching and speaking at: https://TashaSchuh.com

I would also love to hear from you. If there are topics you’d like me to cover or guests you’d love to hear from, please reach out and share your ideas with me at: Tasha@TashaSchuh.com

If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe to the podcast and share it with someone who could use hope and resilience today.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:08

Welcome back to Resilience with Tasha Shu. I am your host, Tasha Shu, and I am so glad that you are here with me today. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for taking the time to listen, learn more about my story, and journey with me through these moments that have shaped my life. Now, recording this podcast has given me the chance to reflect on so many experiences that I haven't thought about in years. And it's been such a meaningful reminder of how every season, even the hardest ones, can have a purpose. And so resilience is something that I am incredibly passionate about because I truly believe that every one of us needs it. And life will always bring challenges that we never saw coming. But resilience is what helps us keep moving forward with hope, purpose, and courage. Now, before we jump in to today's episode, I just really wanted to share something that's been on my heart over these last couple weeks that I've been creating this podcast. And over the years, I have had the incredible privilege of sharing my story with hundreds of thousands of people through keynote presentations, school assemblies, conferences, and YouTube videos, TikTok videos. And I've also had the opportunity to write two books. My first book is my last step backward. My second book is my next move forward. And if you'd like to learn more about my story, you can find both of those books on my website and on Amazon. I'll put links in the show notes if you want to look more into those. But as I've been creating this podcast, I've intentionally tried not to simply retell the stories from my books. Instead, I've wanted to share different moments, really behind the scenes experiences and the emotions and really the little details that I've never had the opportunity to share with a larger audience. So it has been so much fun to slow down and tell those stories. In fact, there have been moments while recording these episodes that my husband Doug, he's looked at me and he's like, I never knew that. So these are some really intimate, deep, detailed stories of my journey that haven't really been shared. And so my hope is that together the books and this podcast give you an even fuller picture of my journey. Because more than anything, I hope as you listen, my story helps you see that resilience isn't about having a perfect life or avoiding challenges. It's about continuing to grow through them, to push through, to persevere through. And that's why I created this podcast to share not just what happened, but what I was thinking, what I was feeling, what I was learning, and how those moments shaped the person who I've become today. So in the last episode, I shared about learning how to drive a minivan and everything that experience meant to me. And it wasn't just about getting behind the wheel. It really represented a whole new level of freedom and independence that I wasn't sure that I would ever experience again. I also shared how that season planted really the first small seed that maybe God had a purpose for my life that was bigger than I could see. But looking back now, I realized that was really just the beginning. And so today's episode is about how that purpose slowly started to unfold. So I'm going to share about changing my major to communication studies, the miracle of discovering that I could still sing after being told that I would never again, finishing my first bachelor's degree, and getting started with my second bachelor's degree and really my beginning experiences with public speaking. Now, at the time, none of these moments really seemed connected. They just felt like one opportunity leading to another. But really looking back, nearly three decades later, I can clearly see that each one was preparing me for the life that I'm living today. So let's dive in. Welcome to episode 13, Finding My Purpose. Now, during the last episode, I mentioned a conversation that I had with my um with would be a future communication studies professor, but I was working for him, doing some disability research with a professor, Dr. Kelly Harold. And that conversation really happened toward the end of my sophomore year. And it would ultimately change the direction of my life. After a lot of thought and prayer, I decided to change my major to communication studies. And from that point on, I started telling everyone that I was going to become an inspirational speaker. And let me tell you, the responses were mixed. Some people would politely smile and say, really? Others would respond with, well, that's interesting. And if you would just bluntly ask, what are you going to speak about? And honestly, I could not exactly blame them for their doubts because at that point, my life probably did not look all that inspirational. I was still a college student trying to figure out who I was. I was still navigating life with a fairly recent spinal cord injury. And I did not have a remarkable story of success after my accident, at least not one that anyone could see yet. I mean, and more than anything, I really was still struggling with the roller coaster of emotions from my accident and really the unknowns of each day. But deep down, oh, deep down, I just couldn't shake the feeling that this was exactly what I was supposed to do. God had really placed this dream on my heart, and I knew that I needed to give it everything that I had. Because guess what? Now I was driving. And every time I got behind the wheel, I became a little bit more confident, a little bit more confident. I mean, it reminded me of this dream that once really seemed impossible had become a part of my everyday life. So if God had made a way for that to happen, I believed he could make a way for this dream too. So there was this one small issue though. So what this would mean was that I needed to add a minor in order to graduate. Now, at first, I chose mass communication. It was kind of the minor that a lot of communication study majors chose because they complemented each other so well. The programs, the two programs were closely related, and many of the concepts and skills just really went hand in hand. But let me tell you, after one class in mass communication, I'm like, no way, this is not for me. I do not find this interesting. I don't even know where I would use this. So as I began my junior year, I made another change. I switched my minor to music. Music had always been one of my greatest passions in my life. Long before my accident, singing had been a huge part of who I was. So I wasn't sure what studying music would look like now that I was living with a spinal cord injury, but I knew I wanted to try. Now, I had no idea that decision would lead to one of the greatest miracles of my college of my life, really. But before I can share that miracle, I need to take you back to my rehab days. Now, one of the hardest parts of recording this podcast has been trying to remember everything in chronological order. After I released my rehab episodes, I realized, oh my goodness, I had forgotten one of the biggest stories from that entire season. So I'm gonna go back for just a moment because it really does fit perfectly into why choosing a music minor meant so much to me. Now, while I was in rehab, one question really consumed my thoughts. Would I ever be able to sing again? And I knew exactly why I kept that question to myself for so long. It was fear. And one of my rehab physicians, Dr. C, who later became my physical medicine doctor for many years afterward, he would come into my room every morning for his rounds. And every time he came in, I would tell myself, this is it. I'm gonna ask him today. And so he would come in, I would listen as we talked, do everything about my recovery. Then I'd think, now's the time. And I'd open my mouth, and fear would stop me every single time. I was terrified of hearing the answer. So instead of instead of asking the question, I stayed silent. And this happened over and over again until one morning I finally could not carry the question any longer. As Dr. C sat by my bed, I bluntly, I blurted out. I'm like, today is the day, no more procrastination. Like, Dr. C, will I still be able to sing? I'll never forget what happened next. He looked down at the floor for a moment, and he looked back up at me. And when he did, there were tears in his eyes, and his voice began to tremble as he said, Tasha, oh, I'm I'm so sorry. He said, I've been dreading the day you asked me this question because I know how much singing means to you. And then he said the words I never wanted to hear. He said, No, you won't be able to sing. And when I heard those words, it felt like someone had punched me in the stomach. I felt the air leave my body. Honestly, I don't remember much of the conversation after that. I mean, everything else he said became a blur because all I could hear were those words repeating over and over again in my mind. You won't be able to sing. And I knew this conversation was incredibly difficult for Dr. C because he had a daughter about my age who loved music. So he understood what singing meant to me. He wasn't trying to take away my hope. He was simply telling me what he believed to be true based on everything that he knew medically. But that did not make it hurt any less. Volleyball had already been taken from me. Playing the piano had been taken from me. So much of my independence had been taken away from me. And now it felt like my greatest passion had been taken away too. And looking back, I don't even remember telling anyone that conversation had happened. I think I was just too hurt. I think I was too angry, too disappointed. And instead, I just quietly carried those words with me while hoping somehow that he was wrong. So not long after that conversation with Dr. C, my brother came to me asking if I would sing at his wedding that August. And he wanted my dad and me to sing a duet together. And I remember looking at him and thinking about what Dr. C had just told me. I had so many doubts. I mean, Dr. C's words kept replaying over and over again in my mind. You won't be able to sing. But I also thought, what if he's wrong? If there was even the smallest chance that I could still sing, I was gonna give it everything that I had. The interesting part was that the song that they chose wasn't exactly easy. It was from this moment on by Shania Twain and Brian White. And thankfully it was a duet, so I wasn't singing it alone. My dad would be singing with me. And somehow that really gave me the confidence to keep trying, to try. And so I practiced constantly. And around the same time, after I came home from the hospital and went back to high school, my choir director wanted me to sing a solo at our high school choir concert. It was just two lines from this song. Reach, it was from the Olympic song of that year, performed by Gloria Estefan. And people were encouraging afterward. They told me that I sounded good, but honestly, I didn't believe them. I just thought they were just being nice and were grateful that I was back and thought that I was being inspirational by getting up and singing again. And for my senior year, I was back in my high school choir. I even continued singing with the vocal jazz group, which really for my school was kind of an elite group of singers that you auditioned to be a part of. And it's kind of a big deal because only two people out of the school got to be in each section: two sopranos, two altos, and so on. And that year I'd had a few solos. But I still remember my choir director gently telling me that my voice was not as strong as it had once been before my accident. And so hearing that really only reinforced what Dr. C had told me. And it made me wonder if his prediction was really going to come true. Now, fast forward to college, now I had changed my minor to music. And I knew this was my opportunity to give singing everything that I had. And as part of the music minor, I was required to join a choir. So I enrolled in the women's course at Winona State. And I also had to take two years of music theory and begin private voice lessons. Now I will never forget, oh my gosh, rolling into that very first voice lesson, my instructor, Suzanne Dreyer, she was amazing. Quickly explained, she wasn't quite sure how she was going to teach me. I mean, the reason Dr. C believed that I wouldn't be able to sing was because the muscles surrounding my diaphragm have been paralyzed by my spinal cord injury. Now, those are the very muscles that singers rely on to support their breath, sustain long notes, control their voices, and project their sound. So, truthfully, from a physical standpoint, singing should have been impossible. Now, she told me she didn't know exactly how we were gonna do this, but she was willing to try. And so was I. And so we started on this journey of voice lessons together, of strengthening my voice, the voice, the little voice that I had, especially at the time. Now, between a full load of communication studies classes, music theory, choir rehearsals, and weekly voice lessons, I committed myself to just seeing how much I could accomplish. As incredible as those music classes were, there was so much more happening in my life during that season than just school. So we're gonna come back to my music minor because it really ends in a way that I never could have imagined. But first, I want to tell you about another important part of my college experience because I really feel like these things are important to my years ahead in my future. So, around that same time, I was seriously considering transferring to a college in Arizona. Now, I have mentioned a few times throughout this podcast that after my accident, I became what my family and friends lovingly called a freeze baby. I was cold all the time. And living with a spinal cord injury completely changed how my body regulated temperature, and I was convinced that there had to be a warmer place for me to live than Minnesota, than Wisconsin, Midwest in general. So when my friend Holly told me that she'd be willing to boo with move with me, I started seriously looking into transferring to a college in Arizona. And we even made a trip there so that I could see what it would look like. I was fairly pretty convinced that this was going to be my next chapter, that I would finish up my college degree. But our trip did not exactly go the way I expected. Arizona is supposed to be known for sunshine. Instead, it rained and it rained and it rained every single day we were there, except for the day we arrived and the day we left. We later found out that they had received half of their average annual rainfall during the week we visited. I could not help but laugh. Looking back, God was like, You're not supposed to go there. He made his answer pretty clear. Arizona was not where I was supposed to be. Now, at the same time, my niece Isabel had been born in the spring of the year that I graduated from high school. And so as she got a little older, she started calling me almost every weekend. She'd ask, Antasha, when are you coming home? When do I get to see you again? I miss you. And every time we talked, I found myself thinking about what those conversations would sound like if I lived halfway across the country, if I lived in Arizona. Instead of saying, Oh, I'll see you soon, I'd have to tell her it might be six months, or I didn't even know the next time that I would be home. And I could not imagine that. So I decided to stay at Winona State, finish my degrees there. And not long after that, my niece Anna was born, followed by my nephew Cameron. And the more our family grew, the more I realized how much I loved being an aunt. I just I really wanted to be there for birthdays and holidays and just ordinary weekends and all of the little moments in between because I wanted to be with my family. I just didn't couldn't imagine being away, especially from all these little humans that were so much fun. So, yes, I decided I just have to learn to live with being cold, because being close to the people I loved mattered so much more. Now, college wasn't just about classes and decisions about my future. It was also about learning to navigate everyday life in ways that I never expected. By my junior year at Winona State, I had transitioned to my third roommate. My sophomore year roommate had decided to move back to California. And so I was nervous because we got along so well. I thought, oh my goodness, I'm gonna have to find someone new. But then I did, and everything seemed to be really falling into place, or so I thought. And I waited. And eventually I fell asleep, but not for very long. That clearly was a night of not a lot of sleep. Because I kept waking up and seeing that she wasn't there, plus the light was blaring in my face. And the next morning, when my caregivers arrived, the bedroom light was still on. She had never come home. And at first, that probably sounds like a disappointing roommate story, but for me, it became something much, much bigger. Since I had started college, I really believed that I needed someone else in the apartment with me in case something happened during the night. I really didn't think I was capable of living alone. But that fear had been one of the biggest reasons I wanted a roommate in the first place. But that night I realized something. I had made it through just fine. I had a special phone that allowed me to call my caregivers if I ever needed help. And if there really had been an emergency, I also knew that I could call my neighbor. Forrest, he always was kind of nocturnal. He's always seemed to be awake in the middle of Night and I knew that he would be more than willing to help me, as he actually had been a few times throughout our time in college. And so that night quietly changed my perspective. For the first time, I realized maybe I didn't actually need a roommate. So after my junior year, I made another decision that felt both exciting and terrifying. I decided to live on my own for the rest of my time at Winona State. I was definitely nervous, but deep down I knew it was the right decision. Living alone gave me so much more freedom. I had room for all of my equipment and belongings, more privacy with my caregivers, and I no longer worried about whether I was inconveniencing someone else or asking them to do their share around the apartment. So looking back became another step toward independence. And people also asked me all the time how I found so many caregivers while I was in college. Most people assumed that they were all nursing students because Winona State did have an amazing, well-known nursing program. And so some of my caregivers were nursing students, but many of them, actually most of them, weren't. I had caregivers who were studying English, music, special education, and all kinds of other majors. And it was kind of cool. My hiring process, I'd kind of figured out on my own. It's actually pretty simple. Whenever I needed help filling a shift, I'd make flyers, hang them on the campus bulletin boards, saying I was looking for caregivers. And somehow it always worked. Now, was it stressful sometimes? Yes, absolutely. There were plenty of moments when I wondered if I would find someone in time, but it always worked out. And many of those caregivers became much more than employees. They became dear friends. In fact, some of them are still very special people in my life today. And I'm so grateful that that worked out so well during that season and actually continued that uh even later in life. And so, as all of this was happening, something else was changing too. College was no longer about simply surviving. I was learning how to thrive. Now, if you remember back to my freshman year, I wasn't exactly the model college student. I had no idea how to study. I spent more afternoons than I would like to admit watching soap operas instead of doing my homework. But somewhere along the way, something clicked. I found a system that really worked for me. I became incredibly organized. I learned how to prepare for tests, and discovered that if I stayed ahead on my assignments, I could actually succeed. And after my freshman year, I have to share this, I never earned less than an A in any of my college classes. Looking back, that feels like another small miracle because college was not easier for me. It was much harder. Everything took more planning, more energy, and more time. And one thing my disability never allowed me to do was to pull an all-nighter. My caregivers came at the same time every evening. So by the time they arrived, my papers had to be written, my homework had to be finished, and everything I needed for class the next day had to be printed and packed. There was not an option to stay up until two in the morning, like all of my other classmates, hoping I figure it out. Instead, my disability forced me to become disciplined. It forced me to be to become organized. And I think those habits really ended up becoming some of my greatest strengths. I can look back and see that now of how that helps me today. And so my music classes presented even more challenges. At that point, I was not able to handwrite my music assignments or theory work. So the music department actually worked with me to find adaptive software that would allow me to complete my homework that would allow because music has to be written on a music graph. And um, so I couldn't just write it out on a piece of paper. So during my music theory tests, another music student served as my scribe, writing exactly what I dictated. Now everything required extra effort, extra planning, extra time, far more than it did for the average student. But I had become determined to do my very best. And maybe this was part of my perfectionist side beginning to show, or maybe I was just simply determined not to let my disability decide what I was capable of. Either way, all of that work paid off. And it was also during this season that my friend Ryan approached me again about giving dating another chance. Now we had continued to grow in our friendship. We spent a lot of time together. And during those years, he had actually dated someone else for a while. And I'll admit it wasn't very easy for me to watch. But more than anything, I really did. I wanted him to be happy. But when he asked me again if I would consider dating him, I decided to say yes. Now, even though fear still had a pretty strong hold on me, we went on a couple dates. I genuinely wanted to see if I was ready. But after those first few dates, I realized I was not. The fears surrounding disability, the fear of rejection, and really allowing someone to get that close to me were really way more than I could handle. So once again, I had to tell him, I'm so sorry. I like you, but I am not ready. Now there was something else that changed during those college years that meant just as much to me as my grades. Speaking of friends, my friendships. Um, earlier in this podcast, I shared how lonely I felt when I first arrived at Winona State. And I remember hoping people would come and knock on my dorm room asking me to be their friend. Now it seems a little naive now, but that's exactly what I expected. Instead, I had to learn that friendships don't usually happen that way. I had to get out, I had to get involved, and that allowed me to meet some amazing people and allowed these friendships to grow over time. And that's exactly what happened because before I knew it, I was surrounded by people who genuinely cared about me. It was so different from high school. Some of my closest friends came through church, came through university, came through my family, some through my classes, some were caregivers, really, who became my caregivers actually really became much more than employees. We became so close. And Brooke, she continued to be one of those people. She was still one of my caregivers, but she also had become one of my dearest, dearest friends. And so I am just so grateful for all those people in my life. And even my relationship with my sister Angie grew so much deeper during those years. After everything my siblings had been through with my accident and then my parents' divorce, you know, we really found ourselves leaning on each other in a way that we never had before. And so she lived back in Ellsworth, um, where I had grown up. So her and I would talk on the phone a lot, and then I would spend a lot of my weekends with her when I was home. I would visit her, I would spend time with her and Isabel and Anna, and later to be Ella, my third niece. But for the first time in a long time, I felt like I had people that I could be completely honest with, people who encouraged me, people who showed up, people who simply loved me for who I was. And I felt the same way in return. It was so, so beautiful. And one of those friendships was my friend Melissa. We met during my junior year when she was just starting college as a freshman. And we had a class together and quickly realized that she also just lived across the street from my apartment. And from that moment on, we did just about everything together. And when she decided the following year that she was gonna move home, she still came and visited me on a couple weekends. We talked a lot on the phone. And oh, she's an incredible cook. So she'd spend the weekend making way too much food. We would laugh, we would talk, and we would just simply enjoy being together. And so it was just a great, great friendship. And I just see the loneliness that I had felt when I first came to college had slowly been replaced by genuine community. And I loved it. I loved college, I loved the independence, I loved having my own apartment, my own routines, my own routines, my caregivers, my friends, my church family, and a life that truly felt like my own. Now, as graduation approached, though, I found myself facing another big decision. I would be graduating in December of 2003 with my bachelor's degree in communication studies and a minor in music. But I didn't feel finished. The more I learned, the more I wanted to continue growing, not only in speaking, but also in my faith. And so I really made the decision to pursue a second bachelor's degree in theology. And this was a challenging decision because finding a program was not easy. At the time, there were very few options. I mean, there's tons of options today. But I eventually found a program. It was a night program that would allow me to continue my education. It was the only night program out there. But thankfully, that decision also meant another major change. I would be moving back home with my mom. Now, thankfully, Winona State allowed me to stay in my apartment until May, as long as I was enrolled in one additional class after graduation. So I chose a finance class. Looking back, that was probably a wise decision because finances definitely were not one of my strengths. And so those extra months gave me time to begin thinking about what life after college would look like. And so I started looking for opportunities to share my story and really explore what speaking might become, all while preparing for my next chapter. Now, that is when graduation day arrived. On December 19th, 2003, my birthday, I graduated from Winona State University with my bachelor's degree in communication studies and a minor in music. And it was a day that I will never forget. My entire family came to celebrate, cheering me on as I crossed the stage. And after we afterward, they threw me a huge party, huge party with my family and my friends, really celebrating an accomplishment that I had once felt was almost impossible. And at the time, I don't think I fully appreciated just how significant that moment really was. I had graduated in just four and a half years. I had changed my major three times and still graduated in just four and a half years. And to my knowledge, I was the first female quadriplegic to live on campus and graduate from Winona State University. And what's even more remarkable, I would later discover, is that the average student takes closer to six years to earn a bachelor's degree. And somehow, despite everything that had happened, everything I had been through, I finished in four and a half. Now, looking back now, I realize what an incredible accomplishment that truly was. Not because of the degree itself, but because it represented something much bigger. It was proof that my life after my accident wasn't just possible. It could still be full of dreams worth pursuing. Now, to my surprise on graduation day, I actually cried. I cried really hard, and it wasn't just happy tears. I loved Winona State. I loved my apartment. I loved the life I had built there. Leaving wasn't easy. And I knew I was heading home to live with my mom. And while I loved her dearly, both of us knew it would be an adjustment. For almost five years, my mom only did my cares when I was home on the weekend. And that was like every other weekend. But when I was at school, my caregivers had really been the ones helping me with my daily needs. And that separation really had been healthy for all of us. And so I remember my sister telling me something as I was preparing to move home. She said that my mom had said when she found out that I'd be moving home, she goes, Well, there goes my freedom. And honestly, I understood exactly what she meant. I did not want my mom to become my full-time caregiver again either. I wanted my mom to be my mom. So before I even moved home, I made up my mind I was going to find and hire my own caregivers. I wanted my, I knew I was going to be living with my mom, but I did not want her to be my caregiver. So I moved home that spring to the home that my parents had built for me after my accident. And I had put ads in the local newspaper, I interviewed people, lined up caregivers to help. And thankfully, my mom filled in until I found full-time staffing. She was more than willing to help. But thankfully, I was able to find enough people to fill in those shifts. Now, the interesting part about moving back was that all of my belongings had to fit into one small bedroom. My TV, my computer, my desk, my dresser, and my bed, along with all my clothes and belongings that I had accumulated over the past five years in my apartment. I felt very cramped. It was crazy trying to fit. And I felt like it was almost stressful living in that small room because I was doing everything in that one room. But the following fall, I started my second bachelor's degree. And classes were held in Brooklyn Park at what the time was called Marinatha College. Now it's merged with Crown College. And it was about 70 miles from our home. So every Monday afternoon, I'd make the drive there with someone who had hired that could both take notes for me and help me with my personal care. So my sister helped for a while. A friend from my childhood helped me for a semester while her husband was overseas for the military. And then eventually my pastor's wife came with me. And we left. So every week on Mondays, because my classes were always on Mondays, we left around 2 p.m. And I, when we got up to Brooklyn Park, we'd have an early dinner before class started, and then we'd head to school. And for two years, that became my routine. I'd drive to class, come home, spend my days studying and doing homework, and continue looking for opportunities to discover what God had next for me. Now there is one more important part of my life, really during those years, that I just cannot leave out. For those who knew me at the time, they know exactly what I'm talking about. And I just really felt like I had to share this and probably will share this more in future episodes, but just really wanted to share this part of my life. Because at this time I had become deeply involved in a group of famous TV preachers who passionately taught that God still performs miracles today. And I did briefly mention it in an earlier episode, but during this season, their teaching became a huge part of my life. And I truly believed that God was going to heal me. In fact, I talked about it all the time. I shared it with my classmates, shared it with my friends, shared it with my professors, I shared it with anyone that would listen. And I believed that if I simply had enough faith, God will allow me to walk again. Now looking back now, I could see how much pressure that belief put on me. Because if the miracle wasn't happening, then maybe I just didn't have enough faith. And at the time, though, I didn't see it that way. It was really one of the reasons that I wanted to continue to continue studying theology. I wanted to understand faith. And more than anything, I wanted my miracle. I needed to walk. And as strange as that might sound to me now, it was a huge part of my daily life and something I thought about almost constantly. Now, what's interesting is that while I was waiting for the miracle that I thought I needed, God was already doing countless miracles that I couldn't yet see. My life was becoming full again. The depression that had followed me for so many years was now slowly lifting. I loved my friends. I loved learning. I loved serving others. And life was genuinely becoming good. But deep down, I still believed that real happiness would only come if I walked again. Now it would take me years to understand that God had been working miracles in my life all along, just not the miracle that I wanted or expected or was believing for. But as I worked toward my second bachelor's degree, I also started speaking part-time. At first, it was whatever opportunities came my way. Maybe it was a church event or I did a lot of classroom presentations. I would go into classrooms and I would talk about disability awareness. I would talk about how the media often portrays people with disabilities very inaccurately. I did that. That was so much fun. And of course, I shared a lot of opportunities just sharing my story. But more than anything, I was doing this because I wanted the experience. I knew that every opportunity to speak would help me become a better speaker. And I hope that as more people heard my story, that would in turn create more opportunities, that they would then invite me to share it with others. And then one day I received an invitation that meant so much to me. The rehabilitation unit at St. Mary's Hospital, where I had spent nearly all nearly five months after my accident, invited me to speak to their current patients. Now I cannot even describe what an honor that was to return to the very place where my life had once felt so uncertain, not as a patient, but as someone who could offer hope. I knew Dr. C would be there. The same doctor who had gently told me years earlier that I would never sing again. And I knew, I knew what I had to do. Even though I had finished taking voice lessons and singing in the choir at Winona State, I had continued to take voice, voice lessons, private lessons after moving back home. And I knew exactly how I wanted to end my presentation. I chose to sing somewhere over the rainbow. And it seemed so fitting. After all, The Wizard of Oz was the musical that we had been rehearsing when my accident happened. And so as I finished sharing my story, I began to sing. And I was waiting to see his response. I was waiting to see just the look on his face. And I could see Dr. C sitting in the back of the room. And he cried through the entire song. Tears streaming down his face. And it took everything I could not to cry with him. Because if you've ever tried to sing while crying, it doesn't work very well. So somehow, I tried at least to hold it together until the very end. And after the presentation, oh, I get choked up sharing this. Dr. C walked up to me with tears still in his eyes, and he looked at me and he just simply said, It's a miracle, Tasha. It's a miracle. And he continued to cry, telling me how grateful he was that the prediction that he had given me all those years before hadn't become the final chapter of my story. And so looking back now, I realized the miracle wasn't simply that I could sing. The miracle was that God had taken a young woman who believed her life was over and slowly transformed that life into one filled with purpose, friendships, joy, and hope. Now, I still had no idea where that purpose would lead me. I could not have imagined the doors that would eventually open, or really even the people that I would one day have the privilege and have the honor of encouraging. But for the first time since my accident, I knew without a doubt that my life still had purpose. And that was enough. So thank you so much for joining me for another episode of Resilience with Tasha Shu. It is truly, it just means so much to me that you have chosen to spend this time listening to my story, listening to my journey. And so if this episode encouraged you, I would be so grateful if you shared it with someone who might need some hope, might need some resilience today. And if you haven't already, I would love for you to leave a review or a rating. It really does help more people find this podcast. Now, before we wrap up, I just want to mention that if you know of a school, a conference, an organization looking for a speaker, I would truly be honored if you would consider sharing my name. Speaking and encouraging others is one of my greatest passions, and I would love the opportunity to bring this message of resilience to your event. I do also offer one-on-one resilience coaching for those who are navigating a difficult diagnosis, an unexpected challenge, or simply a transition in life. And so if you're looking for encouragement, practical tools, or someone to come alongside you as you move forward, I would love to connect with you. And you can learn all about more about my speaking and my coaching in the show notes. So there's links at the bottom to learn more about that. So next time, I'm going to take you into another brand new chapter of my journey as I begin building a home of my own and really continue chasing the dream that had been on my heart of becoming a full-time speaker. And so until next time, keep choosing resilience, and I hope to see you again soon. Thanks so much for joining me.