What's God been up to?

I pray your blessed, encouraged, spurned on to meet Him in the secret place! Everything is made right in the presence!
Blessings,
Abby

Transcript

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Hi guys. Welcome back to Communicating Is Heart. Um Wow, it's been a while. Um It's been a while, yeah, since we have sat together and chatted. Um and a lot has gone on in here. Um, which is it's it's crazy because I mean honestly if I look it was maybe like what like a month ago or something. But um it's a beautiful thing when you're following Jesus is that he's always if you're open, he's always willing to work and he's always willing to to change. And so um the more that I follow Jesus, the more uh I feel so different. Even week by week I'll look back and be like, what? Like it's crazy. Um if you're watching, I have um a new I'm in a new spot in the teeny trailer that we live in. Um just on the bed. Um, and I have some tea. Um and to be honest with you, I I don't really know what this episode is gonna be, but um I know that it was on my heart to come on and share a little bit. Um I went into this year so confident that podcasting was the thing that God invited me into, and I I I don't yeah, I I think he um is blessing it and like he's he's a good dad. Like he wants us to do things that bring us joy and um we find um delight in. Um but he never wants those things to become more than an um him. He never wants us to find more delight and joy in in speaking about him uh than we do in just sitting with him. Uh he never wants us to love the works that we can do for him and bless him and tell people about him um more than we love just being with him. Um and that's kind of a season that I'm in right now of learning how to really just enjoy him and not always have to put it out there. Um I do believe, I've had this spoken over me, that I have the gift or the um yeah, the gift I guess of teaching. I ever since I've been little, I have loved teaching, whatever it may be. Um and so I do believe that's something that, you know, that's a personality I have, that's a a way God's created me, and and it's just so natural that when I learn something, I really want to tell someone. And if you live with me, like my husband or my son, um, you are the first to know what I'm learning, and then you know, I'll move outward to whoever I'm with. And if if I'm close with them and I'm talking with them, they're gonna know what I'm learning, and I want to teach it and I want to share it, and I want to do it right away, right away. Um, and something that God's convicted me of is that um sometimes I do it too quick. Like, sometimes he he shares things with me and he shows me things, and I get so excited that I I get ahead of him that I start to um just yeah, tell people, oh, this is what God shared me and this is what I'm gonna do, and I get so excited about the idea, and then I realize a little while down the road that I I'm not even doing what the thing was anymore, and I I've honestly forgotten about it and like, oh, remember when that was so cool? Um, and it's just the way that I've always been, and so like I said, following Jesus, he's been wanting to tune that out of me and and and tune me more into being with him and to sit longer in the things that he shares with me. Um, and something too that I've learned and that someone has told me, and it's so true, um, that that what happens between me and Jesus, I I don't always share everything. Um scripture all over uses the analogy of a husband and wife and intimacy with each other as a an example for us to comprehend the the incredible love and intimacy Jesus has for us as his church. And so that's all over. And um, if you're married or even if you're not married, you know that a husband and wife don't go around sharing everything and anything in their relationship with everybody or anybody. Um, there are some things that are meant to just stay between them. And so someone gave me that analogy. Um, well, it was Tony actually, and we had her on the podcast the last time I put an episode out there. Um, she said some things that are happening um are not always to be shared. Like it's it's it's happening for something to happen inside of you um to create just who God wants you to be. And and I always um as a teacher, uh, I kind of share this in my miscarriage journey, um, of like every time something's happening or I'm learning something, I'm like, oh, it's it's got a greater purpose. So I gotta sit in this and and and learn the lesson and glean from it and and see what's happening so that I I bet God's gonna use it further down the road. Um but something that he has been sp sharing with me um is that what if what if all he wants is me to sit with him? Like what if I what if the purpose of this lesson or the pain that I'm experiencing or whatever it is, um what if the purpose is just because he wants to get to know me more and he wants me to get to know him more and he wants intimacy with me. He wants to be close to me. What if it's not about doing stuff for him? What if it's about sitting with him? And oh man, I've been so convicted with that because I I get excited and I want to do this stuff because I I say I love Jesus and I do love Jesus, but do I love him enough to hold what he's showing me and to sit with him and to have that be the satisfaction versus getting something and being so excited about sharing and then going and sharing and being like and and it it does it does um feel good and it does it does uh God uses it, right? If he speaks to us and he shares things with us, and then we're so excited and we go share with other people, pray it blesses other people. Um, but when it's done, um when that's all we're doing it for, and we forget how to just sit with him and we forget how to just be with him, I think everything else kind of loses its power because if it's just about talking, if it's just about knowing and and all the different things, um connection is what God has always wanted. So I'm not sure if any of this is making sense. Um but that's where I've been at. Um, and so this podcast, there's nothing wrong with this podcast. Um I pray many good things have been shared on it. Uh but I don't I don't know what I was saying. Uh I had to take a break, so I forgot what I was talking about. But you know, a lot of my life, and God's just starting to unbreak these things. Um, I've I've heard the gospel, right? I've heard Jesus did this for us, so we should live in in gratitude by by doing things for him, by living a life that brings him glory and and all these things that are that are beautiful and true and and and all have places, I believe. But what God's been speaking to me and ministering to me is if I if I gave my life for you, when you were dead in your trespasses, if I chose to to love you when you were still messed up, and you believe that, can you also believe that I just want to sit with you? That I just want to get to know you, that I I just want you to get to know me? Can you believe that that it's not all about going and doing for me? I I've loved you, and that's enough. I've loved you. And you being you is enough, and you finding delight in me, I should say. Not you being you, not you doing your own thing, because that's that's a different topic. No, but us you delighting in me um brings me joy. Like like you don't have to keep trying to earn my love. And um, I don't think that I'm the only person that struggles with that. I'm sure there's others, but that's a wrestle all my life. Who I do it um a lot of the time. I want to earn love. I think I have to earn love. Somewhere along the way, I picked up I I have to do stuff in order for people to love me. I have to I have to fit in, I have to say things the right way, I have to make sure I just am just just right so that I'm accepted. Um God's breaking that out of me and and he's breaking out of me the thought that I just I need to do. And and and the thing is that I'm so passionate about Jesus that a lot of the times when I'm doing things, I'm not thinking that I'm striving or trying to earn God's love. Uh, but then he pulls some things away and shows me, oh, yeah, I have some more layers under that. Um so I'm in the season of him covering me with his blood. Everything that I do is being covered, him showing me that if I do mess up or if I do do something a little bit wrong to not get stuck in the shame, but to ask for forgiveness and know that I'm covered in his blood and that he sees me and he loves me and he accepts me for who I am because I love his son and because I'm covered in his blood. Like that's my identity. Like who I am is Jesus' blood, just washing me so that so that even when I feel, you know, things in my heart that are like, oh, I just wish I wish I didn't wrestle with this anymore. I wish I could just be perfect. God is just saying, I you're my son's blood is over you. I see his blood, you're washed. And so I feel like I'm in the season of being washed by the blood every single day. Just washed and washed by his blood and covered um by his love and and him wanting me to to just bask in it and to just sit in it and not feel like I I need to go tell people about it. Um, because that's the other thing is that I want to be known. We all have that. We all want to be known, we want to be fully understood, completely known, and we seek it from so many other sources, except for the place that truly brings satisfaction, which is our father being known by our father. And so I I feel the urge sometimes to pop on and and share this and share that so people know that I'm in love with Jesus and I want them to know how much I love him, and I'm so passionate about my love for him. Let me just tell people, and Jesus is saying, Won't you just tell me about your love for me? Is it enough to just sit with me and no one else? Is it enough that I know you and I love you? Is that enough? Oh man, I love Jesus, and I hope that this sharing of where I'm at um encourages you. I I'm not saying goodbye, I'm done with the podcast, because obviously I just started this and I do enjoy doing it, and and I think that you know there will be times and thing reasons for me to pop on, but it's gonna be kind of like a um an overflow podcast. I want everything in my life to be an overflow. Um, because honestly, if it's not an overflow, we don't have a place to get it from, anyways. Like if I'm not being a wife from an overflow, I am being a shabby wife. If I if I'm not being a mom from an overflow, I'm not being a great mom. I I need I need my life and the gifts that God gives to me and the opportunities that he gives to me. I need them to be an out of an overflow of just a love for Jesus, and and I need that to come from me just sitting, like it has to just come for me, sitting with Jesus and being okay, that he knows and he sees. Um, yeah, I hope this is not just me sharing where I'm at, and if it is, that's great, because I do. I know some I know some of you guys out there that listen and enjoy listening, and I love that. Um you enjoy listening to my journey, but this is where I'm at, and I I've never felt more confident or more safe than where I'm at right now. Yeah, so I pray it encourages you out there. It's a shorter episode than normal, but um, we I definitely will pop back on and I definitely will share um things that I want to share or maybe have some guests on. I I I love podcasting, um, and so I want to keep this going. But this is just where I'm at right now. This is why you haven't seen me on here for a couple weeks. Um I've not stopped hearing from God. I've actually heard more from God than I ever have in a in a like consecutive season. Um, and I'm just basking in his goodness and and keeping it to myself and and letting him speak his words over me and let me let it be enough. Let it be enough. I hope that encourages you. I hope that maybe that spurs you on to go into your room and close the door and meet him in the secret place and pray, just like Jesus says in Matthew 6, that secret place, it's that place that um true life comes from and true everything, like everything that we're seeking and searching for in this outer world and in the people out there, and in the that like everything out there, Jesus says it's in the inner place, it's in your quiet space, it's in your closet, in your room. Close the door and speak to me and and seek me and you'll find me. That's where it's at, and so I want to come on and share that with you. Share that whatever you're craving, whatever you're looking for, I promise you it's found in the secret place of Jesus. And go in your room and close the door and sit with him, and he will speak it because the fact is that he's always speaking, he's always calling. It's just that are we are we listening? Are we attentive? Do we have too much other noise in our ears and in our face that we are not with it enough to hear him call? But he, I promise you, he's calling you and he wants to speak to you, and he wants to be present with you and close to you. We just gotta tune out some noise and we gotta also ask him to give us the affections that we need for him because we're so messed up with sin that we don't even know how to um long for the things that are good for us. We long for things that we weren't even made for, we long for things that don't satisfy, we long for things that are just not even good. And so we have to even ask, I have to ask, Jesus, would you would you give me an affection for you every day? Like it seems crazy, but but he delights when we're honest with him and we say, I don't dis I don't I don't desire you, but I know you you you can give me the desire. Proverbs says, um, delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. I I think that delighting ourselves in the Lord, like we don't even know how to desire anymore because of sin. He has to give us the desires, the good desires. He has to give us the desire for Jesus, he has to give us the desire to be known. He like he has to give us these desires, and then he says he will give them to us because he is the fulfillment of those desires. So he can very easily give it to us if we're willing to sit, if we're willing to be quiet, if we're willing to wait on him, he can fulfill our desires because he is the fulfillment of those desires. He's what we're searching for. Every form, every different appearance of things that we're looking for. It's Jesus we're all wanting, we just don't know it. So that's what I have to share today, guys. I hope it encouraged you, and I hope to be back and share more of whatever, whatever it's gonna be. So pray you have a blessed week, and I will see you next time. Bye guys.