Koffee with Kaly Marie
Koffee with Kaly Marie
Seasoned Women Wisdom: Trusting Adonai Through Every Season
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Pour yourself a cup of coffee and join Kaly for a special Seasoned Women Wisdom conversation with two remarkable women—MJ and Valerie, Kaly Marie’s mom.
Together, they share stories from decades of walking with Adonai, offering biblical wisdom on trusting Him through every season of life, serving others faithfully, cultivating a teachable spirit, and allowing Scripture to shape our daily lives.
This conversation is filled with heartfelt encouragement, practical wisdom, and plenty of laughter as they share family stories, life lessons, and even a few favorite things—including extra-hot coffee!
Whether you’re seeking wisdom, encouragement, or simply feel like joining friends around the table, this episode will inspire you to continue growing in your walk with Adonai.
☕ Grab your favorite extra hot cup of coffee and join the conversation.
#KoffeewithKalyMarie #TLVBible #SeasonedWomenWisdom
Coffee with Kaylee Marie. I have two very special guests. I have MJ, who you've already heard before. If you haven't, you'd need to go and listen to the previous podcast. I have my wonderful mother, Valerie. So if you will both say hello and let the our audience know your voice, you'll start, MJ.
SPEAKER_02Um hello, good afternoon. It's so good to be here again with you, Kaylee, and especially with my dear, dear friend Valerie.
SPEAKER_01Hello, good afternoon. This is Valerie chiming in. It's great to be with these two wonderful women.
SPEAKER_00I am honored that my mom was willing to sit down and do this podcast. She's an amazing woman, and she has served as a military wife. She has also served her parents, and she has served as a prayer warrior for many people and congregations. Very excited that you're here today, mom. I'm going to call her Valerie, and I have asked her permission, and so I want to say that because it's important to be respectful. We're starting off with Proverbs 3, and I have some questions for you. So Proverbs 3 tells us to trust in Adonai with all your heart. Can you each share a season where you had to trust God beyond your own understanding?
SPEAKER_02If I go first, I have trusted God beyond my understanding. Honestly, since I was 12 years old, and I asked this silly question, sitting in a Catholic church, staring at the statues that were beautiful in our small congregation in Mazaruktown, Florida. I asked him, Are you real, are you in there? Are you in those statues? And are you real? And he answered me. And not like out loud, but inside, he became very real, real to me. And so I started talking to him a lot. So by faith, walking out and the whole gamut, becoming a young bride at 21 years old, having five children, homeschooling, and then the passing of, well, homeschooling and then children leaving the nest, which is a huge one, was not really prepared for that. That's very difficult when they go out into the world, especially after homeschooling. And then the passing of my husband was probably the ultimate, where all I could really say to God was, I don't understand, but I trust you. And out of that trust, I continue to grow. And it's just amazing that what was in my heart for so many years of helping other women, where I had older women be my mentor, now I get to mentor young women. And it is a joy to see that grow and to disciple young women is, I think, the ultimate. I think we're all called to be disciples. And so being able to fulfill that mandate in my personal life, a lot of trust, a lot of trust.
SPEAKER_01I grew up in a Christian home. I had godly parents and a father that I thought the moon and stars set the place.
SPEAKER_00This is Coffee with Kaylee Marie, and today I have two very special guests. I have MJ, who you've already heard before. If you haven't, you'd need to go and listen to the previous podcast. And then I have my wonderful mother, Valerie.
SPEAKER_01So if you My trust relied in him, and having a good earthly father made it easier for me to trust my heavenly father. Amen.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you both so much for that insight and wisdom. My next question. What has Proverbs 3 taught you about serving faithfully over a lifetime?
SPEAKER_02I go first, I guess I'm going. Valerie's pointing at me. You can't see her, but she's pointing at me, so she wants me to go first. What has Proverbs taught me about serving faithfully over a lifetime? I think, well, I know. Reading Proverbs is a young mother and homeschooling five children, seven days a week, 24 hours a day. And often my husband traveled in the beginning. So it really was me and the children, and we had to learn, I had to first learn self-discipline in order to teach self-discipline. I as an educator, you really can't teach another human being unless they have some level of self-discipline to work on, because each one of us is responsible for our own discipline. And for me, it began with getting up early, reading a proverb for that day. So there were 30 or 31 of them. I read a proverb every day and read a psalm every day. And then I would also read different things that I felt led to read as I was might reading one of my favorite books in order to learn how to be a better communicator, a better mother, definitely a better wife, those kinds of things. So my serving faithfully over a lifetime would include that I sought God with all my heart, first and foremost, which was He'd speaks to us through Scripture. As a 12-year-old girl, I didn't understand that because that's not a tradition of the Catholic Church to read your Bible. But as when I met my husband who was born again, and our first time I ever really was with him and others, a group of people, was what the night that he got baptized or immersed. So he's the one that helped me realize how important it was to read a Bible, your Bible every day. Because that's how God talks to us. The word, his word is powerful. So I think that is my first recommendation is to read his word. The second one that I think for me was to learn how to be still and then listen. Because I do like to talk. I do like to read aloud when I read Proverbs. I read it to the children, I'd read it to myself, I read it to the children. We would write every day children had in our homeschool disciplines. We we wrote Proverb every day. And so I had to learn too, uh, Psalm 46, where it says, Be still and know that I am God. And the no part is the no of the intimacy of Adam and Eve, or the intimacy of a husband loving his wife, his bride. And that was the intimacy that I had to learn with the creator of the universe was to be still and listen. So those are my two: first reading scripture and then being still and listening, Valerie.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Thank you, MJ. One of the things in Proverbs chapter three, at the end, toward the end of it, says, Don't withhold good from those to whom it is due. And when you've grown up and you've had the word imparted to you, and you've studied it, and you want to impart what you have to them, and it is wonderful in teaching Sunday school or to see a child's eyes light up because of what you've imparted to them, and that that will be with them throughout their whole life, that it will lead them and guide them. It never goes void. Amen.
SPEAKER_00Amen. So beautiful, so much wisdom. And so the next question that I have for you both is Valerie, you've traveled and lived in several countries. And MJ, you have experienced both ministry and journalism. How have your life experience shaped your understanding of wisdom and discernment?
SPEAKER_02Valerie, you get to go first this time.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_01Well, and most of this is just practical advice. But one of the things when I think about is always be kind. No matter what's going on around you, always be kind. And in living in different countries, I picked up some of their habits as far as in Japan, when we lived in Japan, take your shoes off at the door. It keeps your house so clean. You're not tracking, you're not tracking in the world. And that goes for your heart, too. That's wonderful. Not watching the crud on TV. And of course, things have changed as we've gone along. There's for me, there's not much to watch on TV anymore. There's you just don't turn it on. I might watch you two to learn how to do something, or I love to watch funny movies. But one of the things, take your shoes off the door. And another thing that I learned is and my both of my grandmothers, who were godly women, wore aprons. Oh amen, sister. It will save your clothes. And I am a messy cook. So if I got flower, if I if I got flour out, it's on me. I'm wearing it. So but this it's just practical advice. And you can learn from other cultures, from other people, is to pick up their good habits, learn and realize the things that maybe they're not doing so well and avoid those. That was great, Valerie.
SPEAKER_02I think that I would absolutely agree with you 100% on the kindness. It's funny that as a teacher, as an educator, both at home and in the public realm and the college level, kindergarten, that kindness thing goes all the way, especially to in your community, your church or synagogue community, the people you're with. I I love to remind all of us we're different. The body of Messiah is different. And so you have to learn how to honor differences as opposed to our the Egypt realm, the world wants you to be alike. And so we will attract to people that like the things we do and in the world. And sometimes we can be put into categories and clicks. And that is so dangerous. Even in the in the church, that it gets real clicky. If you're hanging out with people that are look a lot like you, I encourage you to maybe spend some time looking at someone who's different than you and learning how to communicate, to be a part of their life in some way or fashion. You can learn so much from people who are maybe little toes and you're a little finger in the body. But I think that's where we get the strength. I think another thing, ladies, is that we interpret when scripture says to love God, like in the Shema, where it says to love God with all your mind, heart, and strength. The love part in there is the definition is not the love that we know today, which is an emotional kind of love that can love you if you do the things I want you to do. If you don't do, which is a conditional type of love, and you hear that from our youth nowadays, to be loved unconditionally. However, I don't know that the ones that are preaching love unconditionally are actually doing that. So love for us can be a mood, it could be a circumstance. We could love for all kinds of, I, you know, I feel like it, I don't feel like it today. And those are that's a dangerous place to be. Where in that love, translated out in the Hebrew, actually means loyalty. It's loyalty to God no matter what, whether I'm having a good day or a bad day or I don't feel well, you're still loyal to him. That's the love he's asking for. In the Middle Eastern culture, when there was a king and he required fidelity and love, that's what that love meant. Fidelity, loyalty. It wasn't an emotional feeling, it was a promise. It was an action word that no matter what, you were loyal to that king. And that's the kind of king that we serve in King the Yeshua. That we say we love him, then it's a loyalty, it's not an emotion. So a lot of times we can feel the emotion, and we feel it when he loves us, and it's an emotional thing to us. We say get holy bumps or goose bumps or bible bumps or something. That can happen, but that's not what he's talking about. It's the time when you don't feel like doing something, but his obeying his word. But his word requires you to be obedient, to love, be loyal to him by loving others like yourself. That's something you got to practice. It doesn't just happen. It it takes a few years or months. I guess you know, God could just, you know, boom, there you are. You're loving and kind and honor the differences in people and in yourself too. But I think life experience has shown me that understanding wisdom and discernment first begins with understanding what love means. And that's a loyalty, like a husband and wife. No matter what happens, I won't leave you. I will prefer you. And that works both ways. So that's another topic, but it's the same idea that loyalty. Go ahead, Valerie.
SPEAKER_01Feelings are fickle, yes, and commitment stays no matter what. No matter what, no matter what. There's days I don't like myself. Absolutely. So, but and you've just got to commit. You can't go into a relationship, whether it's without and I or your spouse or your children or extended family members. It's commitment. It is commitment.
SPEAKER_02It is that loyalty that no matter what, there's no backdoor. I know my husband had said that to me when we were planning our wedding, and he reminded me there's no divorce, there's no leaving, there is no backdoor in this relationship. We will continue. We'll learn how to work through it, but there's not. That's someone I knew I was marrying the right man.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02And so, ladies, that's really what you want is someone who understands the loyalty.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02Not what you look like, not what you can bring into the marriage. It's a loyalty to you.
SPEAKER_00So well, and looks and what you can bring into the marriage can all change, right? Absolutely. Over time, because that you're not going to look the same way you did when you got married.
SPEAKER_02No, and it's funny because I think too, when you are putting the word, and tell me if I'm not, I mean, we're all old enough here and in in Adamai that we know that the more you read scripture on a daily basis, and even more than just once a day, but that is your go-to. That's where your mind goes to. You've trained yourself to go to God's word and what he says in any situation. But the more that you do that, I think that that's the inner beauty. But I think the inner beauty starts coming out and will change the outer. I think in this world, which I call Egypt a lot, is not to reach for Egypt. I tell my disciples all the time, the young women that I mentor, don't reach for Egypt. Don't reach for the world's uh way of doing things. That's what righteousness is. Righteousness is God's way of doing things. So reach for those kinds of things. And the only way you know what to reach for is if you are reading scripture and the Bible and learning how to do that. What things can I reach for? You can reach for kindness when you don't feel kind. You can reach for putting others' needs ahead of your own. That's a huge one. That's another one that has to be practiced. You look around, and as you read more of the Bible and you're quiet, you can discern his voice. Our rabbi Eric will tell us, God's speaking to everyone. I know he gets asked that. How do you know God's speaking to you? And he says, God's speaking to everyone all the time. It's are you being still and quiet enough to hear his voice? So that's something we're supposed to do. Once our spirit is redeemed, then we're commissioned, we're told to renew our minds. And so the way you do that is through discipleship. You find someone, a mentor, someone that you see for young brides, find somebody in your church or in your community, in your synagogue that that her husband looks at her with such love and tenderness. And that's the woman you go to and ask, Will you help me? Look for it when you have children and you're wondering, how like, how do I train these precious little gifts that God has given us? How to make us enjoy. If you're not enjoying your children, you're not doing it right. Just flat out. If you are not personally enjoying being with your own child or children, you're not doing it right. So I encourage you, the way you do it right is you look around and you find someone who you enjoy being around their children or they enjoy being around their children. And then that's who you go ask to mentor you. We as women are admonished for the older women to teach the younger women. I would not have been able to do what I did if three older women in my life had not helped me, and including my own mother. So that was four older women that helped me. So, Valerie, what do you I mean?
SPEAKER_01Just right on. I mean, look for those that's look for those that you admire, that you see that are doing the right way, and go ask them for help.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. Absolutely. I think that's that's the best advice we as older women can give younger women is look around and find someone who's doing it right. Marriage and children. Your home, that's the most important part. So your part first begins with you and reading scripture, studying it, being alone and quiet, find it. Don't say I don't have time, find it. Find 15 minutes to just sit still and be quiet. Practice drill rehearse. I always say, Kaylee smiles at me every time I say that. Practice, drill, rehearse, but you have to. This is your life. It's it's the your future. And then from there, look around and find somebody who has a husband that absolutely adores his wife. And that's the wife you go ask for help. And the children that are obedient the first time that their parents ask them to sit down, be quiet, don't do that, do this. Could you get this for me? And they're immediately, yes, mother, or yes, mommy, or yes, ma'am, but they do it immediately. That's the woman that you want to help you.
SPEAKER_01As you said, being still and quiet, scripture and listen, just listening. That's the key to the whole walk. Amen. Amen.
SPEAKER_00Thank you. And I have so my next question, and I know this is supposed to be about Proverbs 3, but a lot of these questions really can apply to the entire book of Proverbs. But where are you at? So the next question is Proverbs speaks about Proverbs 3 speaks about kindness and truth being written on the heart. What does it look like to balance kindness and truth in relationships and leadership?
SPEAKER_01These are great questions. Yeah, they are. For me, it's know when to speak, know when to instruct, know when to encourage, and always pray.
SPEAKER_02Amen. I think I'd add to that too, know when to be quiet. I think that is another coming from someone who does like to talk, learning how to be quiet and listen is just as important as being there with a timely word. I think too that your question says truth being written on the heart. And I think the Hebrew definition of heart is really our soul. It's it's our mind, will, and emotions. And when you take that into context and think about kindness, balancing kindness and truth, then again, it's learning to make scripture your avenue for changing first your heart, which is your mind, will, and emotions, and then your follow your flesh, your actions will change. For example, one of the scriptures will say that the love of God is shed abroad in my heart, and I hold the Thoughts, feelings, and purposes of his heart. I know that for me, I wrote that on an index card and would carry that in my pocket, sometimes my apron pocket, Valerie. But I had it on me all day when you have children and things are not your training, you are left with the children for two or three or four days because your husband is out doing what he needs to do as far as provision and understanding that your job is not only to train the children, but also to create a loving environment that your husband wants to come home to. So speaking that the love of God is shed abroad in my heart, and I hold the thoughts, feelings, and purposes of his heart, his heart was that I love and respected my husband, and I trained my children according to God's word. That's his heart, his righteousness. So I was able to do that, I think, miraculously, because I memorized that scripture until it was in my heart, my mind blown emotions. So that was my part of what I think we're supposed to do after scripture.
SPEAKER_00In this question, I think about a scripture in Proverbs where it talks about a soft answer, turns away wrath. And I for me personally, that's part of balancing kindness and truth in relationships. Because you may have truth in your mouth, but how you say it is so important.
SPEAKER_01Oh, bingo. Yes, absolutely. Just the tone of your words, and people will turn you off or turn you on immediately by the tone of your voice.
SPEAKER_00So the kindness and truth is really there in that scripture. And seeing that because I mean, I'm assuming I know at least my mother has been aggravated at me times. And she had every right to yell at me. But it makes a difference even being told like how you're spoken to in your life.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. And I have to be, I mean, I'm always honest, transparent. And I didn't have that in the beginning, especially with a particular child that pushed my buttons all the time. And my voice, and we both did, our voices would get louder and louder. And I think now, and I've gone back as now that they're adults, my children, and we've talked about each one of us have talked about those particular moments, and I've asked forgiveness, and they've asked forgiveness because it would, I was just teaching them how to get louder in my in your frustration. And that never, never turns out well. So I think too that we we learn, we ask God to forgive us, and then 1 John 1 and 9 reminds us that He's faithful to forgive us when we confess our sins and or our mistakes. And for me, that was a huge mistake in the beginning. So, and I do it, I can't say I have regret because he's forgiven me for it, but I am also don't forget where I came from, that I'm not doing everything correct. I didn't in the beginning to remind other young women that you have to start someplace. And looking at like what you said, Kaylee, to answer with a kind word, or as Valerie said, your tone of voice, those are really, really important. And once again, it's something you have to practice, unless for some personalities, I guess you have to practice. Maybe there are women out there from the very beginning who never raise their voice, never get frustrated. I just wasn't one of them.
SPEAKER_00Neither. Am I well? And it's not just mothers who need to heed that advice of you know, a soft answer turns away wrath. You're not gonna just see that in your home, you're gonna see that in your job, you're gonna see that in other relationships. Great point. And so learning as a kid or as an adult, wherever you're at in life, it's still important to learn this because there are words that people can say that maybe they don't mean harshly, but you can take them harshly and want to bite their head off. And so a soft answer turns away round.
SPEAKER_01I knew of a family several years ago, they were not allowed to yell across the house. They had several children, and if you needed to speak to someone in the on the other side of the house, you had to physically go to where they were and speak in a normal tone. And I thought, what great advice.
SPEAKER_02That is great advice. I was that was one of the things I was guilty of. In fact, my kids will like they'll holler their name and say, Whose shoes are these? When I know exactly I knew whose shoes they were, and I would holler, you know, I'll just say it. Emily, whose shoes are these? And she loves to tell us like my mom knew exactly whose shoes they were, they were my shoes. And you know, but I hollered, and then I had to learn that lesson that you don't holler across the room, so I had to learn it as well. So that's a great point to bring up, Valerie.
SPEAKER_00Well, we have one more question that I have for you ladies today, and that is MJ, after the death of your husband, how did your faith sustain you in continuing to serve others?
SPEAKER_02I I think that because we had 21 house rules in our homeschool home environment. And the first one was that we put our the Lord Jesus Christ, Yeshua Hamashiach, as head over the household. One of those, in fact, I think we had 21, and number 20 was that we put others' needs ahead of our own. And because I had learned that and done it for so long, that one of the things I had to learn once my husband passed away was that at 60 years old, it was the first time in my whole life I'd ever been on my own. And I could have succumbed to loneliness. But because I had those 21 house rules in my heart, and the one of that the love of God is shed abroad in my heart, and that I knew how to do for others. But this was the first time that he wanted me to understand my own identity and that it was in him. So it's taken me this July, it will be eight years that I got to sing my husband to sleep. And in that time, I've learned that it is way more important to focus on Adonai being my husband, which has taken me into studies on the bride, which has taken me into becoming a disciple or a teacher of discipling young women. And so through those processes, um, I'm strong. I'm strong in his power and his might. Because I put both hands to the plow, which is a scriptural verse, and I don't look back because every time I look back, it can be sadness. And that is not how I want to finish. I want to finish strong, I want to finish completing everything I was put on this earth to do. That I hear that you well done, good and faithful servant and or handmaiden, I like to say. So that is my love walk, being kind. So beautiful. Well, thank you. So beautiful. And give God all the praise for that because apart from Jesus, apart from Yeshua, you can't do anything on this earth. It is all Him or nothing.
SPEAKER_00Valerie, how did caregiving for your parents deepen your walk with God?
SPEAKER_01It's something we've been talking about this whole time. It's prayer, worship, to sit quiet, to listen. For me, even there were times where because it was very stressful, I would just sit and listen to scripture, and it brought peace to my heart, and then I could move on from there. Because you need the quiet time when things are very stressful. You need that quiet time. You need to hear your father speak to you, whether it's through listening to the word or reading the word and him just renewing your spirit. That's where it was at for me.
SPEAKER_00Thank you both. I appreciate you doing this podcast with me. And normally I would ask how you like your coffee, but I thought I would end this with what are three of your favorite things?
SPEAKER_02Oh, goodness. Okay, Valerie, you want to go? You give one of yours and then I'll give one of mine. How's that? First thing in the morning, scripture. Reading scripture. I do that also, but one of my favorites is the be still and listening. I love to just sit and listen in total, absolute quiet to where the quietness almost hurts your ears. I love that.
SPEAKER_01Okay. My next thing is an extra hot cup of coffee. I want my coffee almost hot enough to burn my mouth. Either that or my cappuccino. So, and we make our own. We're not going out to Starbucks or to the local coffee shop. But and that's one of the things that my husband and I like to do is we like to search out the little places when we're traveling.
SPEAKER_02And Kaylee likes to treat me to coffee. And I was with Valer the first time she we were all ordering coffee, and she said extra hot. And I perked up like a little child and said, Oh, I didn't know I could order it extra hot. So now that's my new habit. So I'm there too. I want to say, too, that my being still enlisting is especially on the beach and on the porch in the mountains. I like those two particular areas.
SPEAKER_01So my last thing would be a vanity thing. I love Kula. It's a sunless, tanless.
SPEAKER_02I just learned. Thank you, Valerie. This is not Kula, maybe needs to like advertise coffee with Kaylee Marie, like be their sponsor.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's just like I have very white legs and I like you. I love the beach, MJ. And just going out there and sitting and just listening to the waves. It's like you hear the father talking.
SPEAKER_02Yes. That is we're so blessed to be here in Pensacola and be able to go to one of the prettiest beaches in the world. My last thing is being with family. I love family sitting around the table, no matter what size it is, and just being with family and talking, and we always talk about the goodness of God in the land of the living.
SPEAKER_00So well, thank you both very much. It's been a very full conversation, and I love how the tanner got put in at the end. Until next time, shalom.