Episode 6: Mentorship and the Paralegal Journey

Transcript

Tara Edwards 0:01

Hello, my name is Tara, and welcome to Sister-in-Law, the Paralegal Journey, a podcast about the careers behind the case files. Whether you work in law, work alongside the legal profession, are thinking about a career in this space, or simply want an honest look at the paralegal journey, you're in the right place. Welcome back to Sister-in-Law, the Paralegal Journey. In this episode, I wanna talk about mentorship. The quiet guidance, the conversations that change how you see your work and the people who shape you before you even realize they are doing it. Today we're gonna focus on how mentorship has shaped the profession, how to approach someone you admire, what makes a healthy mentor relationship, and how to step into mentorship without feeling ready. Because if you've been in this field for any amount of time, you know that none of us built our careers alone. As you listen to this episode, I want you to ask yourself, who comes to mind when you think about the kind of paralegal you wanna become, and could you take one small step toward connecting with them this week? How mentorship has shaped the profession. When I think about the paralegal journey, especially for those of us who have moved through different roles, different offices, and different types of work, mentorship has always been there. Sometimes it was formal, like when you start a new place of work and your office manager, HR manager or boss direct you to work with someone who can assist you. But some of the time it wasn't. It was someone taking a few extra minutes to explain why something mattered and correcting you, not to embarrass you, but to make you better. Like my mentor, Nicole, that I have referred to in previous episodes who found out that we were both legal assistants and then took it upon herself to help me navigate the legal world from a support staff perspective. It was someone trusting you with more responsibility before you felt fully prepared. Like a lawyer that I worked for who allowed me to start drafting pleadings, or the licensed paralegal who taught me about process serving and allowed me to come into his office to learn more about the paralegal journey, from a licensing standpoint. This profession grows person to person, skill to skill, lesson to lesson and mentorship is how experience gets transferred into judgment. You can take courses, you can earn credentials, but mentorship helps. Who helped shape the professional you are becoming and have you told them that? How to approach someone you admire? A lot of people hesitate here. They think mentorship requires a formal agreement, it really doesn't. Sometimes it starts with a simple message. If there is someone whose career you respect, someone whose professionalism stands out, approach them with respect. A simple email, LinkedIn or Facebook message can go a long way. You'd be surprised the response you get. It has been my own experience that people want to mentor those who want to learn more. When you approach your potential mentor, it shows that you care about your career journey and that you want to learn. Understand that not everybody will say yes, and that's part of professional life, but when someone does treat that time seriously, mentorship is built on respect on both sides. So here are some practical tips to find a mentor: one, get clear on what you actually need. Before reaching out to anyone, ask yourself, do I need guidance and technical skills, confidence in decision making, leadership development, exposure to a different area of law. Mentorship works when it's intentional. Vague goals lead to vague guidance. Two, look for professional alignment, not just popularity. Choose someone whose work ethic you respect, professional reputation is solid, values align with how you want to practice, not just someone visible or well known. Visibility doesn't always equal mentorship capacity, character matters more than title. Three. Start small. You don't need to ask for an ongoing commitment, maybe just ask for a 20 minute coffee chat, a short call, one conversation about their path. Mentorship often grows organically from there. Starting small lowers pressure for you both. Be specific about your outreach instead of, I'd like to pick your brain, try. I admire how you've built your career and I'm trying to grow in that area. I'd appreciate 20 minutes to ask you about how you navigated that transition. Specificity communicates professionalism, and although I have used the phrase,"I would love to pick your brain", i've only used it when I already know my mentor and need to reach out to them again for some guidance. Five, respect, time and follow up. If someone gives you guidance, apply it, update them later. Thank them specifically for what helped. That follow through often builds trust and turns a one-time conversation into real mentorship. And you know what? They will answer the call again when you need to reach out again. So what makes a healthy mentor relationship? A healthy mentor relationship isn't about dependence. It isn't about constant access, and it isn't about someone telling you exactly what to do. It's about having the ability to learn more skills, tools in your toolbox and be able to apply what you have learned independently. A strong mentor will challenge your thinking, encourage your independence, be honest with you, and share perspective without trying to gain control of your path. And as the mentee, your role is just as important. You show up prepared. You ask questions where you need to or seek clarification. You apply what you've learned, and more importantly, respect their time. Healthy mentorship should make you more confident in your decision making, not less. Mentorship is powerful, but it's not automatic. It requires self-awareness on both sides and sometimes the healthiest thing we can do is recognize when a dynamic needs adjusting. So I'm gonna give you four red flags, in mentor relationships, two for mentors and two for mentees. Some red flags for mentors: creating dependence instead of confidence. If frequently seeks reassurance on matters they're capable of handling and hesitates to act independently, it may be a sign that the mentorship dynamic is fostering a reliance instead of growth. Strong mentorship builds confidence if the mentee's autonomy is shrinking. Instead of expanding, it's time to recalibrate. Your role is to guide, not to become indispensable. Another one is using the mentee to reinforce your own identity. So this can be a little hard and it can be subtle, but if you notice that your mentoring becomes more about feeling needed, being admired, repeating your own career story, steering the mentor towards choices that validate your path, this might be a signal just to pause. Because mentorship is not recreating your own journey through someone else. It's about helping another professional develop clarity in their path, even if it looks different from yours. Strong mentor support growth without needing the outcome to mirror themselves. And that doesn't mean that you can't use your own career journey as a tool to mentor, it just can't be the only tool that you use to mentor. Here are some red flags for mentees. One, if you're expecting rescue instead of growth. If a mentee approaches a mentorship, expecting job opportunities, constant problem solving, emotional validation, or someone to fix their career, that creates a imbalance. Mentorship is guidance, not rescue. If the mentee isn't taking initiative or ownership of their development, the relationship will stall. Growth requires effort on both sides. Defensiveness towards feedback. Constructive criticism is a real part of mentorship. If a mentee pushes back on every suggestion, justifies instead of reflecting, seeks only praise, avoids accountability, the relationship becomes limited. Mentorship requires humility. If feedback feels like an attack instead of an opportunity, growth will be difficult. So what about stepping into mentorship without necessarily feeling ready? When people think about mentorship, they often think about decades of experience. You think you need to have everything figured out, but mentorship isn't about having all the answers. It's about being honest about your journey. If someone is a few steps behind you, doesn't know the area of law you do, you already have insight to offer. Remember, you've made mistakes, you've learned lessons, and you've navigated uncertainty. Sharing that matters. Some of us have worked in more than one area of law, worked in more than one province, we've shifted roles. We've grown into responsibilities we didn't expect, and that lived experience is valuable. You don't have to fully feel ready, you just have to be willing to guide someone thoughtfully. As I've had my own share of legal assistant and junior paralegal mentees, I've been open and honest about my own journey and things that I've learned on the job, because if it helps them, then why not share it. Here are some practical tips you can apply if you're going to mentor someone. One, model professionalism before you teach it. Your mentee is watching more than they're listening. They are learning from how you handle pressure, how you manage mistakes, how you respect boundaries. If you want to mentor well, your conduct must match your guidance. Mentorship is demonstrated as much as it is discussed. Two, ask questions before giving answers. It's easy to default to advice, but strong mentors develop thinkers, not followers. Instead of immediately solving the problem, ask, what do you think the next best step is? What factors are influencing the situation? What risks do you see? This builds judgment, which is the real goal. When I was a junior paralegal, working collection files, I wanted to create a payment plan for a debtor, but I wanted to implement certain terms and conditions. I called the senior paralegal to ask if I could talk to her about a file, I started kind of with what I thought she should have me do. Instead of answering, she started with, let's talk about what you would do. I explained to her what I wanted to do, and then she asked me why I explained the why, and she said, that's exactly what I would do, you need to trust your instinct. As a good mentor, you will also walk with your mentee to troubleshoot the issue instead of giving them the answer. Three, share your mistakes, not just your wins. If you only present polished success, you create distance. The most valuable mentorship moments often come from, I mishandled this once, here's what I would do differently, and I learned this one the hard way. Honest reflection builds credibility and trust. Four, set clear boundaries Early mentorship is not unlimited access unless you want it to be. Be clear about how often you can meet, what kinds of questions are appropriate, what decisions the mentee must make independently. Healthy structure prevents resentment and dependency. Strong mentorship strengthens autonomy. It doesn't replace it. Five, focus on growth, not cloning. Your mentee is not meant to become you. They may practice differently and think differently. Your role is to strengthen their professionalism, not shape them into your image. Mentorship is about expanding capacity, not creating copies. So let's refrain the question. Instead of asking yourself, why is no one willing to help me, or am I smart enough to even mentor someone? Try asking yourself, who do I already respect that I could reach out to? Or what experience do I already have that could help someone? As we wrap up this episode, ask yourself, who comes to mind when you think about the kind of paralegal you want to become, and could you take one small step toward connecting with them this week? Mentorship isn't flashy, but over time it shapes your confidence, your judgment, and your reputation. And if you're serious about building a long-term career in the paralegal profession, whether you stay behind the scenes, step into leadership, or eventually build something of your own, mentorship matters. In the next episode, I will be speaking with Alethia Bundy, whose career journey moved from law school to maintenance enforcement and into project management. It's a conversation about how legal careers evolved and how the traditional law firm track isn't the only way to build a meaningful career in this profession. If this episode resonated with you, I invite you to follow the podcast on Apple or Spotify and connect with me on LinkedIn. Let me know where you're at in your journey. This is Sister-in-Law, the paralegal journey. Welcome to the conversation.