Ep. 10 - What Is Your Why

Elizabeth Everett challenges listeners to examine the real reason behind their drive, endurance, and faith. Many people feel stuck, burned out, or discouraged not because they are weak, but because their “why” has been built on approval, success, comfort, or validation instead of Christ.

Drawing from her own journey through burnout, divorce, and seasons of hope deferred, Elizabeth explains how surface level motivations eventually collapse under pressure. When identity and purpose are rooted in human approval, criticism and delay can cause people to lose momentum and retreat into fear or isolation.

She contrasts those temporary motivations with a kingdom centered why anchored in obedience to Jesus. Referencing scripture and the example of Christ enduring the cross, Elizabeth reminds listeners that a Christ centered purpose can withstand disappointment, pruning seasons, and spiritual warfare. True endurance comes from surrender, not striving.

This message calls believers to stop chasing validation and begin asking God what their true purpose is. When your why is anchored in Jesus, obedience replaces burnout and faith carries you through every season.

Learn more about: Advocates for Africa & Happy Horizons Children's Ranch

Grab your copy of Elizabeth’s new book, The Breaking: The Season That Almost Took Me Out and the God Who Didn't, here!

Contact Elizabeth Everett:                                                                                               Website: graceinthebreaking.com                                                                          Email: info@graceinthebreaking.com                                                                        Instagram: @graceinthebreaking                                                                                YouTube: @GraceintheBreaking 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

What is your why? That's what we're going to talk about today. And then what is your anchor that keeps you from quitting? You know, so many times we get lost in the day. We get lost in the year. We get covered up in our emotions. And we lose the reason that we wake up every day. We lose our why. So today we establish the why. We talk about how to keep the why. We talk about how to press forward even through the hardest of moments. Because again, we are all human, but the Lord, He's with us every single step of the way. Most people don't quit because they're weak. People quit because they forget their why. So I'm here to tell you today: you don't need another motivational quote. You don't need clarity. You need conviction. You need a why that serves your disappointment. Listen, I know how it feels to have hope deferred. When your heart just aches, you're reeling out from pain you've experienced. You're wallowing in it. We're human. But today, we break out of that cycle. We establish that why again. Surrender. What do you do when it feels like loss? Why your why isn't solid? We go back to those comfort, repetitive cycles. Remember, we've talked about before. Comfort can be a playground for the enemy. Have you thought to consider that the reason that you keep going back to that comfort is because you're afraid of that yes. That maybe you've lived in hope deferred for so long. Like when things started to move forward, you got pulled back. That's life. Life happens. But what we do with that is what matters. We surrender. Here's that word again: surrender, surrender, surrender. All right, friends. Today we're going to break it down. What your why really is, why your surface whys do not last, and how to anchor your why in Jesus Christ. The way, the truth, the only way is through him. I'm Elizabeth Everett, and this is Grace and the Breaking. So, what is a why? Your why is the reason you keep going every day. Even when the results are slow, even when your breakthrough hasn't shown up, the apology never came from those who hurt you. You may have a prodigal that hasn't come home yet. Or you may have so much pain and you haven't experienced healing. That's okay. God meets you right where you are, right in the middle of the pressing, this is where grace comes in. Your why is not a goal. It's not an applause, it's not a validation. If that's what your why is, friends, let me be the first to tell you, you are going to burn out. When you stay in survival mode or fight or flight, if you're only worried about will they see my worth, ooh, we recognize, regain your life back. Let's take it back today, take a stand. Burnout is real. You know, I've been there. High achieving corporate lady striving in my own strength, wanting, seeking that validation. That was my why. Because I wanted success. But burnout is real. When burnout starts occurring, you lose your sense of why. When the whole time, if we shift the trajectory of our thoughts, if we reposition our goals in order to please Jesus and put him at the top instead of down by the wayside, your life will change. Your trajectory will skyrocket because the Lord wants you to have good things. He wants you to walk in peace, in sovereign love, happiness, not burnout, not strife, not pain, not unhealing. So, where are you today in this journey? If this resonates with you, keep listening. Let's talk about shallow wise. I want to get healthy so I can look good. How many of us have said that, like as a New Year's Eve resolution? Like so many of us. But was that really about getting happy, healthy, and holy? Conviction is something, and that's what we want. We want everything that's resonating, that's ringing in your ears, that giving that small little tug in the stomach to cause a revelation, a revelation to rethink exactly where we are and how to move forward in a constructive manner with Jesus. I want success so I feel important. Woo wee. That is surface level wise versus kingdom-wise. I want influence so I matter. Listen, this was me. I created an altar identity in a corporate setting to mask the unhealed trauma and pain that I had refused at all costs to deal with, to confront, and to move on from. So the burnout spiraled as I kept walking and striving in my own strength. But listen, this does not have to be you. Colossians 3.23 tells us whatever we do, do it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for human masters. So, what is a kingdom-wise sound like? Let's just switch just a little tiny minuscule amount of the thinking process. I do this unto the Lord. I obey him because he is worthy. I will build because he called me to build. That why will survive all obscurity. The others, your survival, your surface level wise, they have no chance to survive. Eventually, they will catch up with you and it will crumble. Jesus had a why. Have you ever thought about that? I mean, he really did. He endured the cross because of his why. His why was to die. You know, he experienced massive persecution during his life and then an excruciating pain on the cross to die for us and be born again so that our sins could be forgiven. So just because before you heard this episode, you might have been striving in your own strength, you might have had these surface-wise, doesn't define the mind switch and the surrender that can and will occur today if you lay it down at his feet, if you switch that mindset. Hebrews 12, too, says, for the joy set before him, he endured the cross. He saw beyond the suffering for us on the cross. He saw our redemption. He saw our restoration. He saw you, and he saw me. So if you're experiencing pain today, your why must see beyond that. Listen, life happens to us all. There is not a single person in this world that will not go through trials and tribulations. But you have a choice. You can lay down, you can close the windows, you can be in despair, you can have yourself a pity party. But now it's time to get up. You can stay in a relationship that's killing you, you can stay in a job that is destroying you from the inside out, or you can change it. When's the last time you went to Jesus and asked what he wants for you? Right now, some of you are quitting at the edge of breakthrough because your why is tied to comfort, not your calling. Again, those comfortable places. Oh, my job has become so easy. Like I've got this income that's coming in, like this is my routine. I don't want to break it. But you're dying inside because your why has been self-validation and proving yourself. So I'm going to challenge you today. Ask God what your why should be. If you're going to stay in that job and he tells you to do so, if you're going to stay in that relationship, if that's what he answers your prayer with when you go to him, then ask him how to move forward. Put him first every morning as you get out of bed. Before your feet even hit the ground, talk to him. I assure you, he's listening. Sometimes your why will get tested. According to Proverbs 13, 12, hope deferred makes the heart sick. So when we're praying so hard for something, we're wanting to see change so much. God answers all prayers. Sometimes they're not the way that we thought we wanted him to answer, but his ways are higher. He has a greater plan for us than we can ever imagine. So when delay hits, it can make you question everything. It can make you doubt everything that you've heard or everything that you ever wanted. It can make you want to retreat. But friends, I'm here to tell you delay is not a denial. God, a lot of times, develops death in delay. When you've been striving in your own strength and he sees his child, who he loves so much and wants nothing but prosperity and blessings for you. Or hard-headed, let's face it. Sometimes he takes us on places and trips that we did not know we needed to go in order to reveal the greater purpose for us. So your why has got to be bigger than your timeline. Sometimes the prayers we pray, he's going to answer them, but in due season, if we do not faint, he tells us to keep doing good and no word he speaks returns void. But he also wants to make sure that whatever you're praying for, you're stable enough to hold on to it. He doesn't want you to get answered prayer and you'd be crushed under the weight of what that brings, no matter what it is. Whether it is a kingdom spouse, whether it is becoming a first-time parent, whether it is switching jobs, whether it is becoming a Christian entrepreneur, whether it is going into ministry, you name it, God wants to prepare you during the pressing season. And I can guarantee you that if you're meeting opposition, if you've surrendered and you're stepping forward, your opposition is it a sign? Yes, it is a sign. It's a sign that you're moving forward in the correct direction. Because the enemy wants nothing more to keep you stuck, to keep you in that hope deferred. Where for so long, listen, I'm gonna tell you something. So the year of 2024 till my divorce was final, actually till the end of 2025, I was in such a state that I lost my joy. Okay. I'll admit it, I lost my joy. I was chasing Jesus. He was pruning, pruning, and pruning. But I was living in that hope-deferred state. Because every time I thought I was making a forward motion, it seems like I would get an attack and it would pull me back and I would kind of recluse into an isolation state. That was not of God. But what I can tell you is he never left me. He was making sure that everything was lined up so that I could step boldly into everything that he has for me in complete surrender and obedience. Now, the breaking, my book, it'll be out in a couple of weeks. It kind of highlights and goes into detail exactly the stripping and the pruning and to the extent and how fast God did it. It's a pretty amazing read. So I would advise you to check that out. And once it's available, you'll see advertisements on social media. But it helped me find my true why. That pressing wasn't for any, for nothing. It was for everything that he was bringing forth in my life. So, how do you find your true why? Here's how you discover it. Ask yourself these questions today. If no one clapped for me, would I still obey? That's a tough one, right? Because so many times we seek validation. I even catch myself, sometimes after recordings, asking my producer, was that good? See, I have to catch myself. Because my validation is not going to come from man. It's not going to come from my listeners. It's not going to come from my church. It's going to come from my father above. And I can guarantee you something, friends and family, if he brings you to it, he's going to bring you through it. So make sure everything that you're doing, you're taking to him before you launch it, before you walk in it, before you make a decision that's going to define everything about your life, make sure it's his way, his will. Because when you're walking in his will, everything will fall into place. Because when God opens doors, you don't have to force them. You don't have to force your way into a room. They will just naturally open. When's the last time you've really experienced that kind of peace? And it's available to you now. Here's another one. If no one noticed, would I still serve? Well, would you? So many times we like to donate our time to causes that we love and serving at church, but we're not serving to seek validation from the church. We're not serving so other people can see what we're doing. We're serving because our heart is postured in love and God is love. And He wants us to love others and bless others as He has blessed us. How do you know you would keep going if it cost you your reputation, your comfort, or your control? Would you still say yes? Letting go of that bit of control in your life will really help you step into the why. But for me, that was one of the hardest things. That was the last thing that I had to do in my pruning process. And again, you'll read all about that in the breaking. Surrendering and saying, Lord, let your will be done, taking Elizabeth's hand off of that, taking control off of that wheel, and sitting back like I'm in a Tesla self-driving car with God at the helm, not a computer. Really something for you to pause and think about. It's pretty amazing, actually. Because Galatians 1, 10 says, and now I'm trying to win the approval of human beings. Or am I trying to win the approval of God? Your real why is going to be revealed when it costs you. Comfort is taken away. Obedience is necessary to step into true peace. And there it is, folks. Approval-based wise will crumble every single time. Obedience-based wise will endure all, not some, but all seasons, because those are God-based. See? Remember, are we correlating here? When it's God's will, there is a way to make through any circumstance that arises. When it is a self-way, you can have opposition that arises. You can get through it because Jesus is always with you. But your obedience would give you a much more streamlined and peaceful transition. What is your identity and why? If your identity isn't secure, your why will shift with your emotions. You will become unsettled and you will be double-minded. I want you to think about how many times you've said, oh, I'm doing this. And then a second later, an emotion hits. You got excited, or you got upset because something hurt you in the matter of a word or something at work happened. Your emotions set in and you became double-minded, so you switched your mind. Okay, that happens. Double-mindedness is real. But let's stop that. Ephesians 2.10. For we are God's workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works. You don't create purpose, you discover it with God. Your why is not something that you get to manufacture, it's something you surrender into. So it's breaking off those old mindsets, those old comfort zones. Are you ready to do that? Because there are practical applications. What is keeping you from breaking your momentum? What are you in fear of losing? If Jesus is your audience of one, what would change? Think about that. Cycles, repetitive cycles. Break out of the mindset that you aren't worthy, that you aren't loved, that you need validation. Wake up today. Let this be the realization that resonates in your ears that you take a stand with Jesus. Ask him, Lord, what is my why? I want to know. I want to walk in obedience. Because that, friends, that is given freely by the love of Jesus. And he is standing here right here today, waiting for you to put your hands up and surrender and say, Lord, help me. I can't do this on my own anymore. Let your heart's desires align with my heart's desires. This is going to show your why to you very quickly. Then I want you to declare out loud, my why is obedience, I decree and declare. My why is faithfulness, I decree and declare. My why is internal impact, I decree, and I declare. So, friends, I'm going to tell you if you've been stuck, if you've been burnt out, you've been striving in your own strength, and you continue to lose momentum, it's not that you're incapable. You've just been operating from the wrong why. So today, I'm calling you back to be Christ centered. You don't get to quit in the delay. You don't get to collapse in criticism. And you don't get to retreat in silence, in isolation.

unknown 21:59

So

SPEAKER_00 22:00

When Jesus is your audience of one, then I encourage you to stand today. I declare and decree, my why is my obedience. I declare and decree, my why is my faithfulness. And I declare and decree that my why has internal impact. If you've been stuck, if you've been burned out, you've been striving in your own strength and you've lost all momentum. Today is the day that you get to shift that. Today is the day that you take back everything that the enemy stole. Not just some, but all. So let's think about this practically. We're gonna surrender this to Jesus because it's not that you're incapable of striving in your own strength, you were never created to move like that. You are created to walk in obedience and surrender. Because when God opens those doors, the path is easy and the burden is light. When your why is Christ-centered, you won't quit in the delay, you won't collapse in criticism of others about yourself, and you do not get the option to retreat in silence or in isolation, you get to endure because he gives you the strength when yours runs out, he opens every door and makes the path so straight. So if you're ready to move forward from surface level motivation into deep kingdom alignment, today's your day. Put your hands up, ask the Lord for direction, ask the Lord for his why for you, and then surrender at his feet. Because right here, friends, we don't inspire, we break patterns, we bring alignments, and we help you to anchor in your purpose with Jesus because your why determines your endurance, and your endurance is found through Jesus Christ, and that is going to determine your impact. As always, friends and family, I love you, and I want the best for you. God wants his best for you. Remember, he created you before you were even a twinkle in your family's eye. He knew you, he formed you, he knitted you together. His best is what you should strive for in all circumstances. The waiting may be long, the pruning may be difficult, but I am living, breathing proof that the seasons do change, that love, light, acceptance, and true joy will return. Folks, if you want to do something larger than yourself, I will tell you to find a ministry or a mission to bless others as the Lord has blessed you. I love Advocates for Africa.$39 a month gives a child hope, the ability to go to school, to have food to eat at school. Why can't we give so many others the basic opportunities that we have here in America? And sexual trafficking, y'all, it's real. But Happy Horizons Children Ranch in the Philippines actually rescues little girls from sex trafficking, from sexual trauma and abuse and gives them a safe, warm, loving environment that they get to feel love. They get to feel the love of Jesus and they have hope. So, Lord, I ask that you tug at the hearts of these listeners today. Folks, I love you, and all of the relative information will be in the show notes. Till next time, your grace will be found in the breaking with the Lord above. Have a great day.

SPEAKER_01 26:32

Thank you so much for spending this time with me today on Grace and the Breaking. If this episode spoke to your heart, please remember to follow, download, and share it with someone who might need a little encouragement right now. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all major podcast platforms. As I close, I want to leave you with this reminder. 2 Corinthians 12.9. My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness. So no matter what season you're walking through, you are not alone. And there is always Grace in the Breaking. For more information, resources, or to connect with me, visit GraceInTheBreaking.com or email me at infograceinthebreaking.com. Until next time, friends, stay rooted in faith, hold on to hope, and remember that there's grace in the breaking.