Ep. 13 - You Deserve To Be Loved - Stop Striving, Start Surrendering

Elizabeth Everett delivers a bold and faith-centered message about breaking free from striving, burnout, and performance-based identity to fully surrender to the love of Jesus Christ. Drawing from her own experience with overworking, emotional exhaustion, and chasing validation, she confronts the cycle of overperforming and the emptiness it creates when identity is rooted in achievement instead of truth.

She challenges listeners to examine the patterns keeping them stuck, from seeking approval to battling self-doubt, condemnation, and comparison. Through biblical truth and personal testimony, Elizabeth highlights how surrender becomes the turning point where transformation begins. The breaking is not destruction, but a refining process where old identities fall away and a new creation in Christ emerges.

Grounded in scripture like 1 John 4:4, Romans 8:1, Jeremiah 1:5, and Ephesians 3:20, this message calls believers back to their true foundation. It emphasizes that God’s love is not earned through performance but freely given through grace. Listeners are encouraged to identify emotional triggers, resist spiritual attacks, and walk in the authority given through the Holy Spirit.

This episode speaks directly to those feeling stuck, exhausted, or trapped in cycles of striving, reminding them that freedom, healing, and identity are found in surrender, not effort.

Learn more about: Advocates for Africa & Happy Horizons Children's Ranch

Grab your copy of Elizabeth’s new book, The Breaking: The Season That Almost Took Me Out and the God Who Didn't, here!

Contact Elizabeth Everett:                                                                                               Website: graceinthebreaking.com                                                                          Email: info@graceinthebreaking.com                                                                        Instagram: @graceinthebreaking                                                                                YouTube: @GraceintheBreaking 

Transcript

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You deserve to be loved. So stop striving and start surrendering. How many times have you been overperforming, overgiving, and overcompensating, just trying to earn a love that was never meant to be earned? What if your breakthrough that you've been praying for is right on the other side of letting go? I'm Elizabeth Everett, and today on Grace and the Breaking, we're going to talk about real love that comes from Jesus. Not striving in our own strength, but surrendering. Because we were never meant to stay stuck in repetitive cycles. When we become a new creation, we are new. And that love is real. You don't have to try harder and harder each day. Just open up your heart, receive what he's given so freely, and watch your life change. Striving for love. Did you know you were actually created from love? Transformation happens when striving ends and surrender truly begins. It's exhausting trying to overperform. You know, for so many years, I did that at a corporate level. I tried harder and harder and harder and harder. It was my identity. The harder I worked, I thought the more I would be recognized. But boy, was I wrong. The burnout was real. The strife was real. And at the end of the day, I felt an emptiness that I can't even explain. And then I met Jesus. And it was like a tug of war, a pull on my soul. I wanted to keep striving. I wanted to keep being the best. But at what cost? Because I was wearing myself out, not working from a posture of love, not working on a posture of helping others. Everything was just in my own strength. And guess what? None of us are built to carry that. So the exhaustion of overperforming, living in performance mode equals survival mode. If you hadn't hit that yet, and this is resonating on your ears, you will. Trying to prove your worth instead of receiving it. We get caught up so much in the day-to-day that we start to lose our identity. But if we anchor ourselves with Jesus every morning, every second of every day, we have a firm foundation. A foundation that when the wind blows, we won't be shaken. We are stabilized. Your breaking point, it's going to come when you're too tired to keep pretending. And the truth is, the breaking is not the end. It's actually where the old starts to fall off. So you're not losing yourself. You're shedding the version of you that you were never meant to carry. You know, thinking back, how my identity was just tied to a corporate, high producing, high achieving, because I'm going to tell you something. When you've built up this identity and you're like a bulldog in whatever you're doing, you just want to be the best. You'll stop at nothing to get there. That's when the burnout happens. That's when the exhaustion sets in. You're on these repetitive cycles of working 12-hour days, seven days a week. You're making yourself available to everyone but Jesus. You gotta take a breath. You got to find solitude in him. Otherwise, you're just, you're just gonna end up spinning out of control. And that spin-out is real, that burnout is real. So what are you holding on to today? What are you striving in your own strength every second to do? What if I told you that you are so loved, you don't have to prove yourself that once you find Jesus, he forgives everything. So when the old starts to fall away and the new begins, God really allows the breaking in you to bring forth the new. When's the last time you let go of control your identity or false beliefs? I know that's a hard thing to actually wrap your head around, but when you start thinking about everything that's tied to your identity, um, powerhouse, um available, hard worker, striving, high achiever, are those really things that you want to lose your soul over? I mean, yes, success that is from God. But at what point do you let that success take over as an idolization of your life where other things start to fall by the wayside? One of the hardest things when I found Jesus was realizing how much effort, how much of me was built in what others thought of me just because of a job performance. Because let me tell you something, folks. You are just a number to whoever your employer is. You are not someone that is not expendable. We're all expendable in capacities when we're working for another master. But when we allow Jesus to be our master, we reposition our thoughts, we reposition our thinking, our firm foundation in his word. Everything else starts to fall away so the new can come forth. What if you can still be a high-achieving performance man or woman? But this time, you're not burnout and exhaustion. You've learned how to identify your boundaries. You go through biblical scripture to back it up, and your body can actually be at rest instead of fight or flight mode. When you're battling self-doubt and condemnation, I mean, come on. Those are hard things. We've all done it. We're all guilty. We're human. There's no perfect person, as I've said before. The only perfect person is Jesus Christ Himself. So, what is keeping you stuck in that pattern? Why are you letting your identity be defined by what other people's think? What if you let your identity be defined in Jesus? Because I'm going to tell you something, he loves you. And I have to catch myself trying not to strive to be perfect. Okay, that's been one of the biggest things that I've had to break from. That that struggle has been real. So if that's happening to you, it's okay. Life happens. We have emotions. We just got to learn how to process them and take the things that aren't meant for us and lay them by the wayside. You know, validation from a workplace or validation from a boss or constantly seeking, well, how can I do better? How can I do better? Or trying to beat yourself as far as numbers or statistical analytics from the prior year? Is that doing you good? Is that causing you to grow? Or is it keeping you stuck in a condemnation state? Perhaps whatever industry you're in, your mind is wrapped around growth all the time. But have you taken a look at the market? Is there a saturation factor? All these things play in. However, at the end of the day, the pressure that we put on ourself, that's flesh talking. That's not Jesus. That's not how he wants us to operate. So it kind of happens like this: you have cycle, you have breakthrough, attack, then doubt creeps in, and then we retreat. Did you know the enemy watches your every move? He knows exactly where your weak spots are, and he goes right after them. So, what emotional response are you giving to all of these triggers? Hmm. I want you to think about that today. I want you to jot down what you think your identity is tied to. Where have you been overperforming? What emotions and what attributes are contributing to burnout? Are you seeking that constant validation from your coworkers or your boss? These are cycles. Now remember, we identify the cycle. That's where breakthrough will begin. If you get an attack, that's because the enemy knows your weak spot. Rise up, recognize, stop, drop, and pray, and let the Holy Spirit fill you with joy instead of shame and condemnation. First John 4:4 reminds us that all of us, dear children, are from God. And greater is he that is in us than he that is in this world. So why in the world are we still striving and not surrendering? Because his love is greater than anything we can ever imagine. So today, you need to stop striving. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to be loved by your family, your friends. If people are not loving you because you're not performing enough, maybe you should take a look at the circle you're running with. Because true friends, a true support system, they support you and love you no matter what. And they want you to be the best version of you that there is. So what's stopping you? Romans 8:1. There is no condemnation for those that are in Jesus. Man, Jesus loves you so much. We don't have to tie our shoestrings correctly every day. This is just an example. For him to love us even more. We don't have to make the perfect meal for to break bread with family. He wants you as you are. So we're going to talk about where awareness brings you your authority. What are the things that keep popping up in your life? Just like those little moles that pop up and down. I know for me, there were doubts of you're not good enough. You'll never amount to anything. All you're good at is sales. Um, you've been through too much to be impactful. Um, you have too much of a jaded past to be able to move forward. Um, you've been married four times. So who do you think you are? Look for those cycles. Triggers with the cycles and your emotional patterns. What's triggering you to get an emotional response? This is where we're bringing the awareness. This is where we're gonna stop in and say, Oh no, hell, you don't have a plan for me. Jesus has a plan for me, and I'm gonna walk in it because now I have awareness of where you've been watching me. You've been making your calculated moves, but enough is enough. You have the power and authority inside of you. The Holy Spirit lives inside of you. So you need to look in the mirror today and say, I am loved. I am worthy. I am a son or daughter of the Most High King, and he loves me, and therefore I am loved. Whatever it takes, you can say that to yourself in the mirror 10, 15, 20 times a day. I don't care. Say it as many times as you need to say it until it resonates because you have to believe it. That's where your faith comes in. It's not about what you're doing for others to make Jesus love you more. It's not about any cycle that you've been accustomed to. He loves you just as you are, and he asks you to come just as you are right at this moment. When you're thinking about your triggers and you're watching those emotional responses go up and down and up and down and up and down. Have you thought about pausing before reacting? Ask yourself, is this my flesh reacting? Did I get offensive from that? Or is that my spirit rising up as conviction inside of me? Today, you gotta make the choice. You can choose alignment with emotion, or you can choose emotion without surrender. One is life, one is death. Because the burnout and striving in your own strength, man, that is real. It nearly took me out. So I just launched the book, The Breaking. And um, thank you guys so much for the amazing support. Um, I do pray that it brings you glimmers of joy and glimmers of hope. Because in the darkest moments of my life in 2024, when my health was attacked, my husband left, I was in a wreck, my kids OD'd, um, I lost my friends. Literally, these were things that the enemy knew were triggers for me. But at the end of the day, I never stopped praying. I never, even though I wasn't fully surrendered in every single way, my heart posture was chasing after him. And his love and grace were more than sufficient. So if you're going through a rocky time, check out The Breaking, the season that almost took me out and the God who didn't. It's available in Amazon and in all bookstores globally. So check it out. You gotta love like Jesus, even when it's hard. You know, people hurt us, right? I was hurt, I had offense. I could think of all these emotions that I was still reacting to, for instance, um when my marriage number four was ending. I mean, I was shattered, my heart was soft, and I was grieving. But even as all of the unkind things were spoken to me from many different people, I still had to love and forgive. Keep love as your foundation in everything. Love like Jesus. Make a conscious effort. Remember, awareness, authority comes when you recognize that emotion. If it's triggering you, say, you know what? I love you. And then you pray for them. You don't have to say, Oh, I'm gonna pray for you. Don't say it in a condemnation way like that. Silently just say, Lord, I lift my friend up to you. I lift my spouse up to you, I lift my son up to you, I lift my daughter. I ask you for peace over them. I speak peace, I speak healing. Because in doing that, you're changing your emotional response. Again, this is raising your authority in the mighty name of Jesus. Loving like Jesus is not based on how others treat you, it's rooted in your identity, not emotion. So keep that as awareness number one in your brain. Because we do not love from wounds, we love from wholeness. Comparison to others, it'll kill your calling. Even if you haven't figured out where you're at and you're calling, you're still loved. Jesus loves you. Because everyone's path is different and equally significant. Comparison, it distorts your purpose and your identity. You were ordained before you were formed. Did you realize that? So Jeremiah 1, 5 says, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I set you apart. See, that's God's love. You came to him, he knew you before he formed you, you were forgiven for your sins, and you were made a new creation. So there's no more striving in your own strength. There is no competition for his love. He loves you. No competition and obedience whatsoever. His love is genuine and it's postured from a place that just exudes peace and happiness. When's the last time you've asked God to align your desires with God's desires? When's the last time you've asked him to align your heart with his heart? What does he want from you? If you want to please the Father, just give him your yes. That yes is a step of obedience. The more yeses you give him, the faster you see this ripple effect of bountiful blessings that you can't even fathom. Because Ephesians 3.20 says God can do exceedingly and abundantly more than we could ever ask, think, or imagine according to the power that worketh in us. Ask him what his plans for you are, not yours, what your purpose is here. God, what do you want from me in this season? God, what am I holding on to in my heart that you're asking me to release? Because I want to love like you. I want to be free. I don't want to strive in my own strength anymore. Lord, show me. And he will answer you. Again, all it takes is your yes. So, folks, you mean I this makes me tear up. You are so loved and you don't have to earn it anymore. God gives his love freely. So today I pray that the chains break right off of you and you surrender in a posture. Hit your knees, ask him for help. Lay it at his feet. Quit striving in your own strength. Quit trying to outrun anyone else. Your race is the race that God gave you. Run it with him at a peaceful pace. Let go of that striving and step into your full surrender. He's not asking for your perfection. He is asking for your obedience. And with him, all things are possible. Nothing is impossible to you. You gotta pray big, you gotta pray bold prayers, take bold prayers before the throne because you love you love like Jesus. You deserve to be loved. Stop striving, start surrendering. If you know somebody that's feeling stuck, they're striving in their own strength, share this podcast. We've created a community at Grace in the Breaking, one that helps you step out of these survival patterns. We meet on Zooms once a week. We have a Facebook community that's private where we stand beside one another. We build one another up. You don't have to do this alone. So check it out. We also have a praying a prodigal home masterclass, all sorts of amazing. Things. Check everything out at gracinhethebreaking.com for more information. Folks, I love you and I don't want to see you burn out. I don't want to see you exhausted anymore. His love is given freely. All you gotta do is surrender it and take it today. Open your heart. And if you feel called to bless others as God has blessed you, check out the show notes.$39 a month feeds and gives a child in Rwanda and advocates for Africa the chance to be better, to have a better education, to have clean water. Happy Horizons Children's Ranch is building a new transition home, and they need our support. So check out those links. And as always, friends, I love you. If you have a prayer request, bring it to me on graceinthebreaking.com. Connect with me. Let me help you find community, step out of striving, and step into surrender. I love you. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today on Grace and the Breaking. If this episode spoke to your heart, please remember to follow, download, and share it with someone who might need a little encouragement right now. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all major podcast platforms. As I close, I want to leave you with this reminder. 2 Corinthians 12.9. My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect in weakness. So no matter what season you're walking through, you are not alone. And there is always Grace in the Breaking. For more information, resources, or to connect with me, visit GraceInTheBreaking.com or email me at infograceinthebreaking.com. Until next time, friends, stay rooted in faith, hold on to hope, and remember that there's grace in the breaking.