Grace in the Breaking

Episode 22- No One Prepares You for Parenting a Prodigal

• Elizabeth Everett

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Healing and Surrender in the Prodigal Journey | Grace in the Breaking Podcast

No one prepares you for parenting a prodigal. No one prepares you for the sleepless nights, the fear, the heartbreak, or the moments that leave you wondering how everything changed so quickly.

In this powerful episode of Grace in the Breaking, Elizabeth Everett shares her personal journey of navigating the emotional highs and lows of loving a prodigal child while learning to trust God's plan in the midst of uncertainty. If you've ever struggled with guilt, fear, control, anxiety, enabling, or wondering if you're somehow responsible for the choices your prodigal has made, this conversation is for you.

Elizabeth dives into the reality of surrendering what only God can carry, establishing healthy biblical boundaries, protecting your peace, and finding healing in the waiting season. Through personal testimony, biblical wisdom, and practical encouragement, you'll discover that God is not only working in your prodigal's life—He's working in yours as well.

In this episode, you'll learn how to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of parenting a prodigal, guard your heart and mind, break free from guilt and false responsibility, establish healthy boundaries, trust God's timing, and find restoration for yourself while believing for restoration in your loved one.

Resources Mentioned:
• Praying a Prodigal Home Masterclass
• Preparing Your Heart for Restoration E-Course
• Inner Access Community
• Grace in the Breaking Community

Connect with Elizabeth Everett:
Website: GraceInTheBreaking.com
Facebook: Grace in the Breaking
Instagram: @graceinthebreaking

If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs hope today. Remember, you are not responsible for someone else's choices. You are responsible for your healing, your obedience, and your surrender. Trust God with what only God can do.

#GraceInTheBreaking #ProdigalChild #ProdigalSon #ProdigalDaughter #ChristianParenting #FaithOverFear #HealingJourney #BiblicalBoundaries #AddictionRecovery #ChristianPodcast #TrustGod #SurrenderToGod #FamilyRestoration #HopeForParents #EmotionalHealing #PrayerWorks #KingdomMindset #FaithBasedHealing #ChristianWomen #PurposeInThePain #HealingWhileYouWait #ProdigalPrayer #ChristianMothers #ParentingThroughAddiction #FaithAndHealing #RestorationJourney #JesusHeals #GodsTiming #OvercomingFear #ChristianEncouragement

Contact Elizabeth Everett:                                                                                               Website: graceinthebreaking.com                                                                          Email: info@graceinthebreaking.com                                                                        Instagram: @graceinthebreaking                                                                                YouTube: @GraceintheBreaking 

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SPEAKER_00

Well, hello, friends, and welcome back to another edition of Grace in the Breaking. I'm Elizabeth Everett, your host. And today we're going to talk about a subject that hits rather close to home for me because I'm going to tell you something. No one prepares you for parenting a prodigal. No one prepares you for parenting in general. No one prepares you for the sleepless nights, the endless worry, the heartbreak, and certainly no one prepares you for having a prodigal. No one hands you a manual and no one tells you how to navigate addiction. And no one, no one tells you to survive or how to do it when you're watching someone you love self-destruct. No one tells you how to handle the fear, the disappointment, or even the unanswered prayers in the waiting season. And no one tells you how to overcome that overwhelming feeling that your heart has literally been ripped from your chest. And perhaps one of the hardest lessons of all is that not everyone gets to speak into your situation. Because I'm going to tell you something. Every prodigal story is unique. Every family dynamic is unique and every journey is unique. Listen, lots of people mean well, but they are speaking from theory rather than experience. That gives them no clout to speak life or death into your situation. And many times they're speaking death and they don't even realize it. You have people that have never walked through it and they simply cannot give answers to complex situations. So we have to learn along the way to forgive the ignorance of others because not everyone understands. Not everyone can understand, and that's okay. Proverbs 423 reminds us that above all else, guard your heart, for everything that you do flows from it. Guarding your heart also means guarding your ear gates. Not every opinion deserves access to you. That access rocks your self-confidence. That rocks your emotions. So guard it. Not every voice deserves influence in your life. And not every critic deserves a response. Sometimes protecting your peace means becoming very selective about who gets access to your pain. Because nine times out of 10, people don't want to see you succeed. They like to watch you wallow in that pain. So be careful of your access. The loneliness of the prodigal journey, that's real. The enemy likes to isolate us. The enemy likes to make us feel like we're all alone on this island. The journey can be incredibly lonely. I've seen, as well as myself, parents isolate. We carry shame. We feel embarrassed. We feel like failures. And like I said, the enemy, he loves isolation because every lie that we're starting to believe about ourselves, he amplifies. He whispers to us as parents, you failed. You caused this. You are the reason they act like this. Everyone else's children are fine. God is disappointed in you, but those are lies. The enemy is a liar. You need to tell him to get up and get out in the name of Jesus. John 8, verse 44 tells us that Satan, he is the father of lies. Listen, the enemy, he wants guilt, but God wants your healing. The enemy wants you to stay in condemnation, but God, he's offering you conviction and restoration in this season. Romans 8, 1, and therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. Notice that the scripture doesn't say there is less condemnation. It says there is none. So why are you walking in that? The prodigal's choices, that is not your identity. The prodigal's choices, that does not determine your worth. And the prodigal's choices, that is not your destiny. If the enemy can control your mind, he's gonna keep you stuck. Now, control trap. That's one of the first things we grab for with a prodigal situation. How can I fix this? How can I stop this? What if I do this? What if I say that? What if I help more? What if I give more? What if I rescue again? What if this one thing that I do changes everything? Do you hear that? I you gotta quit playing God. Take your hand off that wheel and surrender. Because control, it becomes our coping mechanism. Listen, we're human. This is not to give you condemnation in this podcast. This is to give you conviction to rise up, to identify, and to be able to move freely and surrender with the Lord. Again, we are not God. And sometimes when we control and we act like we are. That may sound harsh, but it's true because we are carrying responsibilities that God never assigned us to do. We have even convinced others that everything depends on us. Who really do we think we are? Yet Scripture says in Proverbs 3, verses 5 through 6, trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Control? That is leaning on our own understanding, but surrender is trusting God's. Many situations involving addiction, rebellion, and prodigal children require divine intervention because God reaches places that we can't. He can speak in places that we can't, and he can convict their hearts when we can. Overall, God is our protector. He is a son and shield. And God, he's the only person that can restore. We can't. I want to remind you something. The prodigal, the prodigal has free will. God gave it to you and he gave it to them. You can't override free will and you can't force change. And you cannot manufacture repentance in their heart, but you can have repentance in yours. Because only God can transform a heart. You got to lay off that false weight of responsibility. No longer carrying the secret, crushing guilt. If I had done better, if I had prayed more, if I hadn't divorced, if I would have noticed sooner, if I would have been more present, listen, the enemy, he weaponizes those thoughts. He weaponizes that guilt, but healthy conviction brings us to Jesus. Toxic guilt, it keeps us trapped. And we are building a prison around ourselves and we're not even realizing it. So today is the day you take your peace back. Ezekiel 18 teaches us responsibility. Each individual is responsible for their own choices. That does not mean we're not perfect. That does not mean we didn't make mistakes. We all have, we certainly have. We are flesh. But I'm going to tell you something, I am not where I am today by making every right decision. I've made so many wrong turns. I've made so many mistakes, and I've learned lessons the hard way. Yet God still planted me. God still redeemed me and he still restored me and he still uses me towards my prodigal. And I'm going to tell you something the same grace available to us is available to our prodigals. He is no respecter of persons. So what he does for me, he will do for you. Listen, I've been through the cycles of hope. I've been through the cycles of heartbreak. And if you're walking through addiction or prodigal behavior long enough, you'll understand this cycle. It's like the cha-cha. Things improve and hope rises, and prayers they seem answered, and you're rejoicing. Momentum builds. Then there's another relapse, another setback, another crisis, another phone call, and another heartbreak. Yet every time it feels like your heart breaks over and over again, and it's hard not to get stuck in hope deferred. Listen, I've lived it. I'm living it. But God, I've cried all of those tears. I felt that devastation, and I've watched cycles repeat over and over and over again. And then let me tell you something. God, He eventually showed me that my peace, my emotions could no longer be attached to their progress. And the moment that He showed me that, I started to feel a sense of relief. And you can too. See, for so many years, I believed that control was part of the journey, part of the responsibility. Again, that false responsibility we just talked about. Because every time that we replay the what if in our head, or we could have done this better, or we could have done that better. That's a lie of the enemy because at the end of the day, no matter what you or your prodigal has faced, free will is open to both. And I am not determined by my prodigal's choice, and you are not determined by your prodigal's choice. So let me tell you something: your joy can no longer be attached to their behavior because life goes on. My faith, I realized that a lot of it was attached to the decisions that they were making. Because it was my life that would always be controlled by someone else's choices if I did not learn how to surrender. And I was tired of living in fight or flight. I was tired of living in emotional burnout. I had to learn to set boundaries. Boundaries are biblical. You gotta pick yourself up and learn that your yes, your yes means yes, and your no, your no means no. Boundaries are not selfish, they're healthy. And the sooner you recognize that, the sooner you're gonna have some peace begin in your life. Isaiah 26, 3, you will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast on you. Our peace does not come from our prodigal, our peace does not come from anybody in our family. Our peace comes from God. When you are rooted in God, truly rooted in Him, it doesn't matter what storm blows your way, you are not going to be swayed. No outcome is swayed, no circumstance, no behavior sways you. Peace, peace is from God. Let me tell you something, what God taught me about healing. A few years ago, God began revealing strategy, not all at once, but slowly. Not just for my prodigal, but for me. He began teaching me that I had to learn to protect my heart. But first and foremost, I had to heal from all the pain that I was carrying around. Even old childhood wounds that were triggered by words or circumstances related to my prodigal that caused me to act out emotionally and not be able to steward boundaries to enable. It started to show me that I had to learn to surrender completely myself. How I had to invite God into every broken place of me. And that's where the boundaries began to be birthed. I had to learn to love without enabling. And I had to learn to forgive without waiting for the other shoe to drop, or for or forgive without waiting and replaying every single scenario that could go wrong. I had to learn how to trust my prodigal again. But most importantly, I had to learn how to rest in God's timing because the waiting season is often wasted. The waiting season is your opportunity for transformation. It's your opportunity to let God transform you from the inside out so that when your prayers are answered, you will be placed firmly with peace. That you will be able to steward and love well and enjoy the return of your prodigal because that's when the real work begins. When you are healed and your prodigal surrenders, then you can heal together. You can have anything thrown at you when God is at the hem. I discovered something powerful in all of this. That God wasn't just working on my prodigal, that he was transforming and working on me. Romans 5, 335 teaches us that suffering produces perseverance, produces character, and it produces hope. Because let me remind you of something, friends. God, he doesn't waste anything. Not one single moment does he waste. Not in this season, none of those tears, not even this pain. So many parents want restoration, but God is giving you the invitation for transformation. Because if God restores the prodigal and we remain unhealed, we remain wounded, fearful, controlling, and broken, we're not going to be able to steward restoration well. What is the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. So if you find yourself on this hamster wheel of prodigal coming home, prodigal leaving, prodigal coming home, prodigal leaving, then you need to ask yourself, where are you not healed? Because we are all a work in progress. There's not one perfect person on this earth. So every day is a daily invitation to invite God in to show you where the healing needs to take place, to create you in a clean heart, to break off every bit of bitterness, unforgiveness, and malice that the enemy keeps replaying to keep you stuck. Because healing matters on both sides. Your healing is your responsibility. It matters so very much. One of the greatest lessons God taught me was the difference between love and enabling. Because love tells the truth. Love allows consequences. Love trusts God. But enabling produces dysfunction. Honey, boundaries, they are not punishment. Boundaries are stewardship. Boundaries, Jesus had them, Jesus withdrew. Jesus rested and Jesus said no. Jesus only did what the Father instructed. So if Jesus has boundaries, why do you think you can't? I want you to meditate on that for a minute. Boundaries are healthy. Rest is healthy, and your peace matters. Friend, if you're listening to this today and your heart is hurting, I want to remind you of something. That you are not alone in this. God is with you. He sees every tear, he bottles it up, he hears every prayer and he knows every fear that keeps replaying in your head. He has seen every sleepless night of tossing and turning. And I'm gonna tell you something, even though the waiting season seems long, he hadn't forgotten about your prodigal. But most importantly, he hasn't forgotten about you either. He sure hadn't. His love is abounding. But this is your invitation today. Heal yourself. Invite God in. This is how you learn to steward the blessings. He wants your character to be able to sustain what you're praying for. If your prodigal came home today, would you be able to forgive without replaying? Would you be able to take your hand off of the wheel controlling? And would you be able to actually rest and enjoy the reunification and begin the transformation of building back a life together? If the answer is no, that shows you there's more healing to do, and that's okay. That's what this season is for. It's an e-course. There's three in this series. The second one is preparing your heart for restoration. It's a healing journey that's focused on forgiveness, healing, boundaries, surrender, getting rid of rejection, shame, self-blame, and becoming emotionally healthy while you wait. And soon the third phase of this series will launch as we continue to walk through restoration God's way. And I'm going to tell you something. We talked about how the enemy likes to isolate you because not everybody understands what you're going through and has the ability to speak life. We've talked about forgiving their ignorance of the situation, but you do need community. You need to know you are not alone, the enemy. He's a liar. That's why inner access and the community exist with Grace and the Breaking. This is a place where we can pray together. This is a place where healing happens. This is a place where accountability is a must. It exists in every avenue and where every bit of darkness that we're feeling is brought into the light. It's a place where we learn to surrender together and we learn freedom through Jesus Christ because the enemy, he wants to keep you isolated. He wants to keep you thinking that you are the only person going through this prodigal season. He wants you to think you're the parent that messed up so bad. But I need to remind you the devil is a liar. God created community for you and for me. Galatians 6, too, carry each other's burdens, and in this way you fulfill the law of Christ. Friend, your story hit it and over, and your prodigal is not beyond God's reach, and neither are you. Even though the waiting season seems long, God's got this and he's got you too. Until next time, pray, surrender, and walk in peace. Because the grace that's meeting you in the breaking is going to birth purpose through this. And your story will be the light and the roadmap to someone else's breakthrough. Keep praying. I love you. Thank you so much for spending this time with me today on Grace and the Breaking. If this episode spoke to your heart, please remember to follow, download, and share it with someone who might need a little encouragement right now. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and all major podcast platforms. As I close, I want to leave you with this reminder. 2 Corinthians 12.9. My grace is sufficient for you. My power is made perfect. So no matter what season you're walking through, you are not alone. And there is always Grace in the Breaking. For more information, resources, or to connect with me, visit GraceInTheBreaking.com or email me at info at graceinthebreaking.com. Until next time, friends, stay rooted in faith, hold on to hope, and remember that there is grace.