The Things We've Decided We're Not Good At

Somewhere along the way, we all decide there are things we’re just not good at—and we move on. But what if that’s not the full story? In this episode, Karen reflects on the everyday skills we’ve given up on and what can happen when we decide to try again. 

Transcript

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Hey guys, how are you doing? Welcome back to Mom Life in the Woods. Today's episode is brought to you by Coach Dion Basketball. Coach Dion Basketball is the Woodlands most dedicated coach. And please check them out at coachdeion.com. And I'm gonna start today's episode by telling you something that's a little bit embarrassing. I don't really know how to parallel park. I mean, you I kind of do in theory, but in real life, with cars behind me, people watching, absolutely not. And backing into the garage. Nope, that's not my thing either. My husband swears it's the better way. You know, it's safer because you get to pull out and you get to see. My 20-year-old has mastered backing into the garage. And I'm like, you know, I'm just gonna go ahead and pull in like a normal person and I'll figure it out later. And don't even get me started on phone numbers because I hardly know by heart anybody's phone number anymore. I don't even know my husband's phone number by heart. And when I stop and think about it, there are quite a few things that I just I have quietly decided that I'm not good at that. Whether it's remembering names or parallel parking, I just stopped trying. And I wonder, do you do this sometimes too? Obviously, not the big things, not the laying the tile in the bathroom or rebuilding a car engine. I'm talking about the ordinary, everyday things that we decide. And we're not good at it, we're gonna leave it alone. The small stuff, the kind of stuff that could actually be learned, but we decide they're not for us. So we avoid them and we work around them. We drive an extra half a mile for a parking spot where we can just pull in and not have to parallel park. We order takeout instead of cooking something if we're not so sure how to work with this particular piece of meat. We hire it out, we skip it, we trug it off. And obviously, that's perfectly fine sometimes. I am all about making life easier when we can. However, lately I've been thinking about this idea of tackling the hard things, not the overwhelming, life-consuming hard things, but just the ones that sit quietly in the background that we have somehow labeled that's not me. Because here's what I realized sometimes it's not that we cannot do something, it's that we decided that we would not do it. And sometimes it's to our detriment. I remember when our girls were younger, I didn't know the first thing about braiding hair. Now, when I was little, I would get my hair braided. My older sisters used to do it, but I'm having four girls, and I don't know how to braid hair. We have, you know, textured hair, and I couldn't braid at all. I actually did try, it was terrible, it was crooked, loose, falling apart. And instead of thinking, I can learn this, I just thought, I'm not good at this. And I guess I was also thinking I'll never be good at this, so I avoided it. And I was thinking, if we need the hair done nicely, I just have to find somebody to do it, somebody else. And then one day, I couldn't. There was nobody available, there was no backup plan. I remember thinking, okay, I guess I'm gonna have to figure this out. So I started watching more videos over and over. I was pausing, I rewinded, trying again, practicing. A girlfriend of mine, she even gave me a DVD while, yeah, back when we did DVDs. It was about hair braiding, fundamentals, and ooh, you know what? This has been a decade ago, and I still have her DVD. Katara, if you're listening, girl, I will get that DVD back to back to you. But I was practicing, messing up, trying, and guess what? Slowly I got better. Of course, it was not overnight, it wasn't perfect, but I was getting better. And now, 2026, I can braid all my girls' hair, even my own, even with extensions, and it looks pretty good. It's not necessarily professional, but good. And the only difference between I can't do this and I can do this, at some point I decided to try harder. And I've seen this play out in other areas of my life too. When I first started building my website, woodlandsmommy.com, and this is my 20th year, so it's been a while. Technology has changed. I didn't know anything about building a website. I mean, nothing. I was not tech savvy, didn't have a background in it. So what did I do? I went and found those for dummies books, and this was the beginning of Amazon, so um, everything wasn't out there, but I would go to the library. Remember those for dummies books? I had Joomla for dummies, HTML for dummies, my SQL for Photoshop, Illustrator. I mean, I was a full-blown dummy. But I had something that mattered more than skill. I had the willingness to learn, to sit with something I did not understand. I had the willingness to try, to fail, to try again, and little by little, I figured it out. And I think that's the part we forget. We look at someone who can do something and we assume they're just naturally good at it. And, you know, that's the person we should be outsourcing to, because obviously we all have our gifts and talents, but most of the time, it's just that they didn't quit. They stay with it long enough to improve. So here's the question I've been asking myself lately. What are the things in my life that I've been avoiding simply because they feel uncomfortable? Because they take effort, because I might not be good at them right away. Maybe for you it's something simple like cooking or roasting a whole chicken, making a pot of gumbo or trying a new recipe without having to second guess every step. It could be something practical like learning how to back into a parking space or figuring out how to organize your home in a way that actually works. It could be keeping up with a like a cleaning routine instead of feeling behind all the time. It might even be something mental like remembering phone numbers or even names. I I struggle with that, managing your time better, sticking with something long enough to see growth. Again, not the big specialized things that are meant for professionals, but the everyday skills that really shape how we move through life, the ones that can be learned. Because we live in a time where learning something new has never been more accessible. Listen, YouTube alone can teach you almost anything. Maybe it can teach us too much, some things that we don't even need to know about. You can watch somebody step by step, pause, back it up, try it yourself. Man, tutorials, guides, classes, books. There is no shortage of information out there. But what's usually missing is the decision. The decision to say, I'm not good at this yet. And that little shift in perspective can change everything because now you're not stuck. You're in progress. And I'm not saying we need to master everything or we suddenly need to become experts at all the things. But I think there is something powerful about refusing to let this is just how I am be the final answer. Because growth doesn't just happen in those big life-changing moments. It really happens in the small decisions, the quiet decisions, the ones where we choose to try again instead of opting out. So maybe this week you pick one thing, just one something small. Who knows? You might be good at all the things. You may not have anything, but if you do have something, pick something small that you've been avoiding, something that you've told yourself you're not good at, and instead of working around it, go ahead and lean in. You try it. Practice. Give yourself permission to be bad at it for a little while, but decide to try because you know, that's how it starts, not with perfection, but with the willingness. And who knows, you might surprise yourself. You might look back a few months from now and think, wow, I cannot believe I used to avoid this. And maybe one day I'll be the girl confidently parallel parking right in front of Sephora at Market Street. But until then, I'll be in the parking garage practicing. Thank you so much for being here with me. If this episode gave you a little nudge, please share it with someone. Please go ahead and subscribe to the podcast so you won't miss any episodes. And I will see you next time on Long Life in the Woods.