Mom Rage And The Reset

One missing key. One slammed door. One more “mommmyyyy” at the wrong time. That’s all it takes for a totally normal day to turn into full-blown mom rage, and we’re saying the quiet part out loud. We’re three moms who can stay calm in real chaos, then go feral over sunglasses, pets under our feet, and the never-ending mental load waiting at home. 

We talk about overstimulation and burnout, why “hard resets” like sleep, a bath, a pedicure, or a solo Target walk can feel like survival, and why mom guilt creeps in even with supportive partners. We also get into marriage after kids: apologizing, picking battles, letting your partner do things their way, and the underrated green flag of initiative. 

Then we go deep on the weird parenting science and the funny stuff that still teaches you something: why moms wake to baby cries while dads might sleep through it but wake fast for a suspicious noise, the lawn era some dads enter the second they become a parent, and the body image whiplash of mirrors, makeup, postpartum boobs, and “medical Botox” for jaw clenching. 

If you’ve ever felt like you’re one tiny inconvenience away from snapping, you’ll feel seen here. Subscribe for more Mom-ish, share this with a mom friend who needs a laugh, and leave a review telling us: what’s the smallest thing that sets you off lately?

Transcript

Domino’s, Trad Wives, And Welcome

SPEAKER_01 0:20

I just showed that if you don't order from Domino's enough, that you have to update your app. Where are we going? Should be fired. And let me just say, happy National Women's Day. Oh yeah. Oh.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

Yay for women. Woo-hoo! It's too bad. Yay for titty. Women wanted us to work because I could surely stay at home mom right enough.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

Yeah, say fuck whoever. Honestly, like women's empowerment. No, I want to stay home. I want to call unempowered. The the trad wife. Trad wife. Like now. I would like to be a trad wife. I'm saying that like it's a bad thing. I would love to be a traditional wife, except for I don't like to cook.

unknown 0:56

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

You're gonna come to my house every day. Yeah. Cook I'm in my home. My kids, my husband's dinner.

SPEAKER_02 1:04

No, that's what I'm gonna say. That's where I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 1:06

Gil is incapable of not being like a micromanager in the kitchen. So he's gonna be up in there and be like, Mami, can you add a little saffron to this bacon, egg, and cheese? Get the saffron from the garden. Yeah, like he's just so annoying. Love you, honey. Um, welcome. Welcome to Mom-ish. We're here to yap and talk about mom things. So also as I'm sitting here, we're ordering dominoes. Yeah, we are ordering Domino's pizza, you know, while we're all like, oh my god, we're so fat. And we're ordering pizza. But yeah.

Losing A Key And Losing It

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I almost lost my shit today. No, actually did lose my shit, didn't almost lose my shit. Welcome to the club. Yeah. Well, you know, like just when you're that one thing just sets you off and you're like, can anything in my whole entire life go smooth? And it's every day's been fine, but this one moment.

SPEAKER_00 2:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

It's nope, lost a car key or a key to my mom's house so I could go feed her cats. We're stupid cats, is what she said, but we're not stupid, Lori. We love you. Love you.

SPEAKER_00 2:12

And your cats.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

And your cats. But yeah, lost the key, and my reaction went from zero to a hundred. Did you find the key? No, actually. My mom, who's almost in Canada now, I called her finally and I'm like, hey mom, so lost the key. I don't know where it is. She's like, So now a hobo is gonna be living in your house when you get back. Oh so you didn't lose. So you went full fucking aggro for no reason. Yeah, no, like I tore my house apart for an hour and a half, which was like not the plan today. So that kind of set me off. Um But as all this is happening, I'm like, all right, you know what? I'm gonna go pick up the key from somebody else that has it. I'm gonna get this done. I'm gonna come back.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

I get my car and I have left my sunglasses in the house.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

And then Sald Me. Yeah. So I swing my door open and Dylan's standing right there, and I'm like, whack the shit out of him with my door, and I'm like, Mubby. I'm so mad I can't even see. You're fine right now.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Oh, I know. I I just need my sunglasses. I just need sunglasses and I need to go.

SPEAKER_01 3:18

Or when like you know you're wrong, like when you do something so so fucking stupid, or like you're just like Yeah, that's where we are. Yeah, where you just like lose your mind and then you realize like you were wrong or like you were overreacting, but you're still like at that place where you're too stubborn to say sorry. That's me on a daily basis.

SPEAKER_00 3:37

We came full circle and Dylan was like, Hey, like, you good?

SPEAKER_01 3:41

Because like your reaction was a little a little bit much. And I'm like, you're not wrong, but however, we're not we're not there yet. No. But you know, in reflecting on that, I feel like it's just one of those things that lately with work, with two kids, with just you know, planning Charlie's birthday, like just every little thing that you have to do day to day, that I'm kinda at a point where I'm like, my capacity for anything not running.

SPEAKER_00 4:10

You're spent.

SPEAKER_01 4:10

Yeah. The normal is gonna set me off. Absolutely. And I yeah. And I think that as nurses, I think we are expected to stay calm in such a like chaotic environment that when we get home, the littlest shit sets me off. Like I feel like I will be completely fine at work. And everybody's like, You're so calm in these like stressful situations. I'm like, well, you should see me if I like cannot like if I have no gas in my car when I'm already late. Right. So you know 7'10 when I leave this place. Yes, exactly. When I when I'm traveling. Oh my god. A C B, my dog has been under my feet for like the last two days, and I'm just like, you know that. Have you seen that guy on Instagram where he's just like the it's like the Italian dad, and he's like, Bella, find something to do. That was me. I was like, find something to do, man. Like, just get the fuck out from under my feet. And it's just my dog licking themselves at the rock at 3 a.m. It's always 3 a.m. I hate that shit. So yeah, I mean, everything just sends you

Overstimulation And Needing A Reset

SPEAKER_01 5:15

into a rage, I feel like, and then it's just an astronomical level when you're a mom. Yeah. I just already so overstimulated by like the 9,000 mommies by like 9 a.m. And then your dog just like shits. Sets you over the edge.

SPEAKER_00 5:30

I do feel like I've found that I'm like I have a certain limit, and then I almost have to hit that like hard reset where I'm like, okay, I need to like go get a pedicure and like go walk around Target by myself.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

Mommy needs a minute. Yeah, like I need to go take a bath and then have a good night's sleep. And then I'm like, all right, my battery's back to zero. Let's give it another week before I need uh give me another hard reset. Yeah, 100%.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

In the season of like constantly apologizing. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. And then I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm just gonna keep saying I'm sorry because I'm out of line. Yeah, you need to quit. But at the same time, like, thank God Adam like understands. He's like, I get it, you have no patience for me. Like, all your patience is to him. And I'm like, yeah, it's you you're right. At least he gets it. Look at Adam evolving. But like lately, now I'm like, no, you need to apologize now. Like you're in the it's your turn. We're coming together. I can't be the only one. Like, I get it. I'm fucking crazy. But like you're not though. We're not. The other day we had we had an argument at 6 a.m. when I have to leave for work, right? Sorry, who argues at 6 a.m.?

SPEAKER_01 6:35

Gil and I don't even utter a word to each other for like an hour and a half. Yeah, I'll wash my face at 6 a.m.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

We're good, let alone.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

I'm like, you need to get up because I need to go to work. Like, I can't just leave him here. Like, and he's awake at 6 a.m. He's just wait, hello, hello, someone help me, someone help me. And he's like, Oh, what did he say? You you haven't seen crazy. And I was like, Oh, bet you haven't seen crazy. You want to see crazy? It's about to come out. It's been locked up for four years, it's about to fucking come out right now. Uh-oh, we're getting to that part of it. And sure enough, he apologized later. You want to see crazy? You don't want to see her.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Yeah. Well, I feel like that's the thing too. Like, I find when I'm like need the reset that I'm like, I don't feel like I need to apologize for having to take time to myself. No, 100%. But I think that's just like the built-in mom guilt, no matter if you're married to like the most supportive best partner ever.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

Yes. That you just like, at least for me, you know, on Saturdays, don't be like, hey, I'll get up with them too.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

You keep sleeping.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

But you know, you're trying to sleep and you hear like one screaming, or you hear him being like, hey, like, hold on one second, you know, whatever. And it's just like you can just sit and you like go back to sleep and enjoy it. You're already.

SPEAKER_00 7:49

And it has nothing to do with him. It's more so just in your mind, you're like, this, I can't, I can't. I can't. I shouldn't be here right now. I shouldn't be sleeping.

SPEAKER_01 7:58

Two different memes that just made made me think of what you just said. So there's one that's like a funny sarcastic one, and it was like, I'm gonna sleep on my husband's side of the bed tonight because I guess that's where you can't hear the baby cry. And which is so true, where like I wake up on the first, like, eh, and he will sleep through whatever. And then anyway. So then the fun this the

Apologies, Mom Guilt, And Partners

SPEAKER_01 8:25

the second one, Gil actually sent sent this one to me, and it was like husbands or men are our like their just like primal instinct is to like protect. And so they're they hear, like, if there's like a study that showed that women, when they hear a baby cry, they immediately wake up at the end of the night, but the dad doesn't, and that's like obviously infuriating to all of us. But if there's a sign of an intruder, like an intruder's trying to break in, or they hear leaves rustling behind the house, the dad wakes up before the mom, which is because it's so interesting.

SPEAKER_00 8:57

Yeah, which I can like I get it almost because like last week Dylan was like, Did you not hear that noise last night? And Dylan saying that while I'm sleeping is a hot take because like our baby rolls over in the monitor, I'm like, oh gosh, they're awake, and it will like fully wake me up. He said that there was like such a loud crash that he got his gun from this, like where he keeps it in his nightstand, like full like swapping the house. Mind you, he's probably naked. And it was just like a hello. Taylor's husband's loop.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

He's like, I need boxers.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

Hold on, let me get my gun after the boxers.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Like, I don't want them to catch me with no pain. He should have an emergency boxer in his bedside table for like when he has to fight an intruder. It's like gun boxers right beside each other. Because that dude's fucking fully naked. An intruder's gonna be a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 9:46

Maybe just take him off guard enough that they're like, you know what?

SPEAKER_01 9:49

Actually, I'm crazy. I don't want no problem. But yeah, it did not wake me up, nor did him like clearing every room in the house. Oh my god. And wake me up. And that's that's that's interesting. Yeah. So when I saw that, I was like, holy shit, I didn't even think about the fact that like our brains are like gen, like just like we're hardwired wired to be the responsive to our babies, and they're hardwired to protect all of us and their and their pack, their community, whatever, if you want to like make it like a an animal kind of thing. But yeah, like I just thought that was really interesting. And I was like, okay, that gives me a little more understanding for when he's snoring and my child is screaming.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

You know, and I was having this friend with or I was having this conversation with a fellow mom friend, and I was saying to her, like, you kind of have to have grace for your other person because we're wired different that you almost have to just be like, okay, I can't get mad that you're not thinking the exact way that I am, because we do, we are different, and like the things that are important to you versus me are different, you know.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yeah, it's it's uh definitely a lot of growing pains. And I mean, I've been with Gil now 11 years. Wow. Many seasons of life, many seasons of life, and it's uh still to this day we have so many growing pains, but you know, I said to him the other day, I was like, I have like had this epiphany with you that like I didn't it was like an internal epiph I guess all epiphanies are internal, but anyway, like you know, I just kind of was like, damn, like I he's so wonderful in so many ways, and like there are so many things that I just I want to punch in your fucking face, and I say it to him usually, and that's fairly therapeutic because he knows I don't like actually mean it, and so that's just kind of how we talk to each other in the nicest way possible. But over the last like since Crew was born, but mostly in the last couple months, I've just been like, damn, like I see you, and it's not the way I would do it, it's not any of that, but I just like he woke up and you know Noah had something, had to go to the doctor, and he like called the doctor and he took her, and you know, he's like, I'm letting you sleep, and he's just like he's just really kind of like done just been great with this like whole dad role, and again, not the way I would do it. And I if I was a total bitch, I'm only partially a bitch. If I was a total bitch, I would be like, No, that's wrong. You need to do it this way. But he's getting the job done, he's getting the job done one way or another, and that's that's that's that's where you have to when you've been married to someone for so long, you just gotta like sometimes you gotta like let go the stuff that you're like pick your battles, pick your holy, holy shit, pick your battles.

Baby Cries Vs Intruder Brain

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Because if I yelled at him for every fucking thing he did, you're stressed out. I I mean I am stressed out, but like to a hundred like I would not be able to live in the same house because he never does things the way that I would do them. But that's you're two different people, exactly. And it would be our lives would be so boring. I think the big thing is like initiative. As long as you have the initiative, get things done. Like, I really don't care how initiative is such like a like a like a not an ick.

SPEAKER_02 12:54

What's the opposite of an ick? A green flag. A lady boner. Yes. You're like, that turns me on, you've got initiative. Yes. Hell yeah. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

I mean, we all love a good a man that has has mo has ambitions.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

And yeah, sometimes our ambitions do not align, our motivations do not align, and that's okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:14

But as long as you're like working as a team. Yeah. Like Adam the other day was like, you have to like realize sounds so bad. He's like, I'm not an idiot. I like I can take care of him. I'm like, no, I'm not saying that. But again, like we do things so differently that like, do I have to remind you how to do and I'm like, nope, you're right. Like, let me take a step back. Yeah. Right. Like, you can do it. It's just not how I would do it. But you're doing it. I guess. Yeah. You're vibe. He's alive. Yeah, he's alive. His diaper's changed, he's fed, it's fine, happy, healthy, the kitchen may be a mess, but it's okay. I'll clean it up.

SPEAKER_01 13:46

So annoying.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

I hate it's always happy.

SPEAKER_01 13:49

Do you know how to wipe a counter and it's okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

Everyone's safe and yeah, we're good.

SPEAKER_01 13:55

That's uh yeah. So I was thinking that yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

Because in my head, I'm like, all right, it's Saturday, like, I need to reset the house, I need to do the laundry, I need to, you know, wash our sheets, like, do all the dumb shit that I didn't do during the week. And Dylan's like, no, I need to go to Home Depot and rent an aerator. What the fuck is an aerator? Something like that for grass around the room. And I guess I just don't look at the grass and be like, no, there's a fuck.

SPEAKER_01 14:20

I need some, but like I I appreciate when it looks nice. Right. That's why you pay.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

But it's not a priority in my life.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

Like, oh, okay, I that's not what I had on the list. He and Gil insists on doing it himself. And I'm just like, can we just pay somebody? Please.

SPEAKER_02 14:35

I don't know. That's like his hobby now. Look at this grass.

SPEAKER_01 14:38

Why is it that when people when men become a dad, they automatically are like obsessed with the yard. I think it's a flex though. Like when you like when you have a nice lawn. I guess this is some nice ass grass. Like our neighbors who who they shall not be named. Um but his like his insult to them is just like their fucking yard looks terrible. And I'm like, it's not an insult. Like no one gives a fuck. Didn't even notice. And you're the only one that no one cares that their yard looks like shit. Not the fact that they absolutely suck. Yeah. But they're grass. You see that grass though? Obviously not weed treating. Fucking weak. Yeah, it's like a pescue or whatever. What the hell is pescue grass? I don't know. Is that good? Is it bad? I don't know. Do we want Bermuda? I've never heard that term in my life. I've heard it a lot. I've heard it. I've heard pescues. I guess you okay. Well, Gil's just given up on talking to me about the lawn, so maybe that's why you guys are so nice and listening. And I just I just straight up and like, I don't fucking care.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

Look at singing so damn long. Yeshay. Thank you so much for aerating our yard. But damn.

SPEAKER_01 15:40

And he's like, okay, now I need to go do this. And I'm like, out there with the cedar. I'm like, we're getting this shit done. You were doing and I forgot.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

I'm like, this is a big yard.

SPEAKER_01 15:49

No, this is a really big yard.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

That's a no for me. Yeah. He does the outside stuff. I will do the inside stuff. My parents made this out.

SPEAKER_01 15:56

That's usually how it goes. My mom. I don't offer to help. My mom and dad have been married 37 years. And my mom said straight up before they got married, I do not do yard work. She's never picked up a fucking rake. Good for her. She's like, that is my hard stop. I don't do yard work. And he was like, that's fair. And that again. To this day, they have that's it's worked for them. And yeah, my dad. You know how I manipulate my dad usually. I'm like, hey dad, can you help teach me how to use this like tool? And he's like, Oh yeah. And then he comes over and then he just does it for me. Oh my god, I don't know how to clean my oven. Yep. No, I'm I always leave my fucking. I don't think I told you that I leave my my my uh stove. It's one of those gas stoves. It's really a bit. I love gas stoves and suck to clean. They suck to clean. I'd rather have gas. I have everything. My dad's like, I'm about to clean your stove.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

I'm like, you're like, please don't hear something. Yeah. It's actually already out. Yeah, the cleaner is right there for you.

SPEAKER_01 16:54

Um but he loves that shit. So but anyway.

unknown 16:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:57

That's gonna be nice. Like, at least uh helpful parents. Yeah. Bless them for the most part. My mom's been really into horses lately, so there is some give and take that like I got my dad comes over and he cleans, but my mom, I have to listen to my mom talk about horses for like a whole horse.

SPEAKER_02 17:12

But an entire horse.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

That seems random, though. No, it it is, but it's not random. No, no, no. We are not horse people. We have never owned horses, nothing. My mom, my mom has got this fixation right now with horses. What about them? Just everything about how this like the grooming, the riding of horses.

SPEAKER_00 17:37

She bought out no's birthday.

SPEAKER_01 17:39

Yeah, she's gonna bring a pony. Yeah, it's been like a whole thing today. She was like, just like, I don't, I don't get it, don't understand. I'm just stuck out. No, one time she was like talking about cleaning horse hooves. Oh you liked me there. And I know. And for some somehow, my phone was like, oh well, you're this is what you want to watch on your Instagram? Yeah, and all of a sudden my algorithm changed to

Initiative, Teamwork, And Picking Battles

SPEAKER_01 18:05

horse hooves. And I'm just like, thank you, mom.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

I have gone down that rabbit hole on TikTok, like where they clean the horseshoes. What are you guys online? I don't get it. It's like one of those things where like two minutes later you're like, why am I watching this versus but now you can't look away? Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

I'm on World War III TikTok right now. I'm on a TikTok. Let's not even think we can't go the political. It's like, I can't find my vape, but I'm at war.

unknown 18:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:34

Yeah, I can't go down that route. That would be Katie's. That's a whole episode. Yeah, give them a hit. Like, wait, we're no we're being bombed right now, but what do you do? I can't want my vape. Yeah. Like this would make a sick picture, guys.

SPEAKER_00 18:45

It's gonna make Chelsea.

SPEAKER_01 18:47

In front of the side. See, look at that. So there's Elsa. The Barbie. Hold on. Where's she at? She's like this. She's just our audience. Like no pressure. These girls. No neck, Elsa.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

She's kind of intimidating.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

Yeah, we're just gonna be on Snapchat a little bit.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

There we go. Hey. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

This is a great angle.

SPEAKER_00 19:13

Is it? No, absolutely not. Okay. It's fine. It's fine. It's like that rude awakening when you open your camera. It's like when you're oh my god, I thought I only had four chins, not five.

SPEAKER_01 19:24

Or when you're in the the salon the chair and they like spin you around and you're just like real just wondering if like it's just because I'm wearing the like cape or if I've always been this fat in my cape. And it's like, nope. I hate when they like keep you facing the mirror for the four hours that you're getting your hair. And then you're like, Do I stare at myself?

SPEAKER_00 19:42

Is this really what I look like?

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Like, why do I look so swollen today?

SPEAKER_00 19:46

Why do I spend $200 to try to make it? I know it's like this.

SPEAKER_01 19:49

This is unfixable. This is just my bone structure. I am a fucking toad.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

And then you do a full facial makeup and they wash your your their your hair. You're like, yeah, you have your forehead.

SPEAKER_01 20:00

Oh I know, and like your forehead, you have like a fucking forehead with.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

I'm like, why'd I even do my could definitely see how unblended my makeup is now.

SPEAKER_01 20:08

This is so stupid. Oh I know. My my hairdresser, she knows all of my imperfections when it comes to my face and hair. I'm just like, sorry, babe. I'm like, I'll go in there with like not wash my hair for like a week. You're like, you're gonna wash it. I'm like, you're gonna wash those. So yeah, it's it's fine. Like, I'll leave it. I've seen some nasty heads. I'm like, well, hopefully mom's not the one use of an example. I don't know. We'll see. That would be bad.

SPEAKER_02 20:33

My hair's not like I'm not in this okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:37

So yeah, so what what else? So we were talking about tuna fish earlier. The segue.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

Yeah, apparently tuna fish, like canned fish, is like a thing, a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 20:51

How was my stomach? If y'all didn't hear that.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

Oh, that's because we're supposed to be ordering pizza. Oh, did you not? Like, can I multitask? I can't no hold on. I told Dylan, I said, hey, we're recording. Oh, 26 minutes, it'll be here.

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Oh, so he ordered it. Did you get cheesy bread?

SPEAKER_00 21:07

What a man.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

He better have cheesy bread.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Oh no, man. He called me twice, but hello, we're podcasting.

SPEAKER_01 21:14

On L, we're a little on a l. Yeah, so tuna fish. I love tuna, and it's always been one of those things, you know, it is, and I have always been that person that's like, I can't eat this in front of people because they're gonna think I'm gross. You can't bring this up.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

But you just open a can and you're like, yep.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

I have to go make it. Oh no, no, no. You gotta you gotta dress it up a little bit. You can't just eat tuna from a can. You gotta like, well, at least in my house, my mom used to make like tuna salad where it was like hard boiled eggs, a little mustard, a little mayo. Oh no, seriously, salt and pep. It's good. And put it on a sandwich. My fam did that with salmon. Ew. But they told me that it was pink chicken. Pink chicken. Why do we tell our children? You know what I mean? I definitely was like six or seven. Why did I believe this? When did you find out that it wasn't? First of all, it didn't even taste like chicken. Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_02 22:09

I'm uh What about things that you were told when you were younger and now when you're an adult you realize like it's not illegal to turn the light on in the car.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

Oh. Is is it? Yeah, no. It is not. But it was a whole thing. I don't know where our parents went to this like

Yard Work Deals And Parent Help

SPEAKER_01 22:25

school to teach all of our parents, all over the us are all from different states. And it was apparently an al is something you tell your children. No, the light can't be on in the car.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

It's not illegal, apparently. No. I thought it was illegal. It's allowed for a long time. The things we believe as kids. I know. And I will tell Bowie, it's illegal to turn the fucking up. Oh no, all the time.

SPEAKER_01 22:44

Do you want us to crack this eye? Because I do it all the time because I do my makeup on the way to work. Oh my goodness. At stop lights, mostly butt. Because I'm very a terrible planner and I wait too long to get ready for work. That's why.

SPEAKER_02 22:57

I forgot to put makeup on the other day to work. And I was like, I guess it must be nice to be naturally beautiful. I didn't think so. I was just like, fuck it, my hair is. She's dirty. I mean, I know that the only thing is, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:08

No, the other day I did a full face of makeup and then forgot mascara.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

So then it was making the eyes, and I'm like, now it's just kind of weird. Why do I look like I have no eyelashes? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

When I look like I was trying like way too hard, but then like no follow-through, which is that's the worst.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

It's like when you do your full face and forget setting spray. I know how to do that. Well, this is gonna be gone in an hour. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

Even just like you don't have conditioner. I forgot because Gabby hasn't conditioned her hair. There's no setting spray right now. No.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

She doesn't wear setting spray, she doesn't wear bra, she doesn't use conditioner.

SPEAKER_02 23:42

I let the nips free.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

Yeah, she's a free the nip like advocate.

SPEAKER_02 23:46

But like certain things I have to wear. Well, don't tell Adam. I also told Adam, I was like, you know what? I don't think I can wear a thong bathing suit anymore.

SPEAKER_01 23:54

I just feel like right now my body, like I'm also gonna be like, yeah, like not yet. Not yet, but like later.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

When he's like a teen, he's gonna be like, what the thing?

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Yeah, well, and honestly, the thing is our kids need to learn is that they have hot mups and they're gonna have to just be okay with it. I'm okay with cheeky. I just don't know if I can do thong anymore. I'm not gonna show my ass like that, but also free the nipple, these two kind of attack. Yeah. I I said I'm I'm going to write a memoir one of these days. It's gonna be called The Nipple Diaries, where I've just had a really hard go of it when it comes to my nipples. And they're just now is this since birth or is this just since I've had children? Okay, so this is just pregnancy. Yeah, post-party. My nipples were normal before I had children. And so since then, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:48

I think mine are the same, but my boobs are they're not there. They're just they'll come back. They do come back.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

They do come back after breastfeeding. Yeah, this is a mom podcast, by the way, where we talk about mom things, but yeah, so your boobs are they go down. They're down, and they stay down, but they do get they they get their their luster. They get their oomph back. And then you get pregnant again. Yeah, that's the thing. And then they're just like flabby little pancakes. You can just fucking click it.

SPEAKER_02 25:16

That's me right now. They're flabby.

SPEAKER_01 25:18

Right, your nipples just like they get desensitized since you've breastfed a couple babies and your body's just like anything else. Yeah. That's why these mommy makeovers are such a huge thing. They're like, oh, just spend a measly hundred grand at least to get your whole body re revamped after baby, a vagina rejuvenation, your tummy tuck, your boob job, your breast lift, your whatever. I'm just like, you know what? It's my I don't give a fuck. If if Gil doesn't like it, fine. Gabby, are you gonna get Botox again? Yes.

SPEAKER_02 25:51

I was talking about that today. Oh I do. I'm getting Botox next to you on it.

SPEAKER_01 25:55

Wait, what? Okay. I feel like this is a big deal.

SPEAKER_00 25:57

Okay. All right. Where are you going? Sidebar. That would be like, hey, uh okay, no. I would tell you guys. That would be like getting my boobs on. I was gonna say, like, oh, I'm I'm gonna dye my hair black. Whoa. But maybe it's not that's dramatic. Pretty dramatic.

SPEAKER_01 26:12

I've been talking about how I need Botox forever. Where are you going? Well, okay. So, first of all, it's not like real Botox. It is, but it's not, it's medical Botox. It's for my cause I clench. So it's the kind it's for my teeth.

SPEAKER_02 26:27

It's just to help with clenching.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

I don't know. It's only $480.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

So to a doctor's office?

SPEAKER_01 26:34

To a my dentist. Your dentist office? Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:36

I'd be like, can you throw some?

SPEAKER_01 26:38

That's what I said. I was like, Can you throw a couple of my on my frown lines and he said no? He's so cute though, my dentist. Where he at? Yeah. Look at that. And Holly Springs. Oh. I said to the hygienist, I was like, he's cute. She goes, Oh, don't tell him that. I'm like, oh no. Why not? I guess because he's a little

Horses, Algorithms, And Body Image

SPEAKER_01 26:55

sensitive. No, he's like a little bit of a he knows. He knows. And she's like, he doesn't need anything else to fill his ego. But no, he's gonna do my Botox for my jaw. So I don't clutch. You got me excited. No, I really do want to do like actual Botox, but I don't know. I just am so afraid that I'm gonna look like like Caitlin Jenner or something.

SPEAKER_02 27:13

You know, and no, like you will not. That's like excessive. Like I mean, I you'd have like it doesn't change your gets 20 units of Botox.

SPEAKER_00 27:22

Turns into a that would be crazy. Like totally different person.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

I think if you do the start messaging totally different gender than right, folks. Yeah. And then go wrong with Botox at least isn't permanent. Like it will go away. It does go away. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

I'm just in this big season of like, I think it was because I was pregnant for like 600 years. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 27:45

600, guys. It's a new, it's a new type of passage on time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

600. I'm in this season of like, all right, let me get myself back back together here. Yeah. Let's put it. Yeah. Let's put everything back on. Oh, it should go. Maybe actually put my tanner on for once.

SPEAKER_01 28:03

Yes, that does wonderful. That's been what, like, yeah. My friend, shout out Jade. That's my girl. And she told me one day, and I'll never forget, it was always put your tanner on because tan fat looks better than tail fat. I'm like, yes, bitch, you're so right. Because like, honestly, I'm like, why do I lose five pounds just from putting tanner on? Yeah. But you know, it makes sense because like the bodybuilders put tanner on because it makes your muscles, you know, defined and all that. So yeah. It's just a lot of work. I've been meaning to do that shit for like three or four days. I shaved my legs yesterday and was like, tanner tonight. Nope. No. Yeah. No. And now you gotta restart. Yeah. Because the thing is that the tanner you needs to go on like either the day or the day after. So I'm it's either tonight or I gotta start all over. Yeah. Because it's just like the but the shaving of the legs is a thing of in itself. Oh yeah. So like the amount of time that it takes to do tanner or exfoliate, shave your legs, tanner. That's like two hours. And my kid does not sleep long enough to where I can fucking do that. You know what I mean? Like I have to be able to have time. Well, I'm sorry that you're Latina and you have a natural tan glow. Well, this us white bitches over here from our parents' Viking ancestry. That's exactly where we're pale as fuck. That's exactly where I'm from. Yeah, well, Taylor has blonde hair blue eyes.

SPEAKER_00 29:17

No, but I'm No, but what about that one time that you had your tanner on and then breastfed? No.

SPEAKER_01 29:22

She just had a little five o'clock shadow after. Oh no, what's happened? I didn't think about it because she was like getting fussy, and I'm like, oh fuck, okay, whatever. And I just like put her up to my boob like right after I put tanner on. She had a whole like five o'clock shadow. That's kind of cute. It is cute. I think I have a picture somewhere in my super cute. My uh photo book.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

No, I've been.

SPEAKER_01 29:42

Why did I say photo book? Like I'm like 90 years old.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Yeah, like let me get it from downstairs. Hold on. Without the fucking scrapbook. Yeah, we actually are scrapbookers.

SPEAKER_02 29:53

Yeah. I am scrapbooking. Oh, of course you are. Oh my god. It's part of my new hobby. I'm making a scrapbook for bones. Maybe when you should try to start a new hobby and you're like sourdough. I threw it out.

SPEAKER_00 30:06

Yeah, no, I tried cycle bar when Katie tried again. No, I did I did a couple cycling classes after that. Cycling's a lot. It's terrible. Oh, and then I went as far as to buy a Peloton. So that's how deep I went into that hobby. Have you used it? I used to. Can't remember the last time.

SPEAKER_01 30:26

Yeah, I sold mine because I was just like, it's not the same vibe as like going to a cycle class. Like I loved. I was in the best shape of my life, and then fucking COVID happened. FU pandemic got rid of so many great friends. My husband called it a cult. He's like, you guys? No, it wasn't a cult. It was just like a fun place to like go.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

All share the same ideas. Yeah. And are the same people. Okay. So a cult. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 30:53

That's kind of like CrossFit

Postpartum Bodies And Medical Botox

SPEAKER_02 30:55

to me.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

Like I feel like non the non-members say stuff like that because you're just a little jelly. Nah. Nah, but. I'd rather run. I'd rather do neither. Gross. Yeah, no. So I'd rather do my scrapbooking. I'm just saying, I've I there's so many hobbies that I've tried to hard of you. Well, your sourdough's in the oven.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

My sourdough is in the trash. Yeah. Because that is not that's not it. I've been thinking about doing paint by numbers lately. Oh, that looks fun. Yeah. But then like, what do you do with it after?

SPEAKER_01 31:26

You hang it up somewhere. In her closet, right here. There you go. Right there. It'll be our little podcast studio. By the way, we're in my closet. It's very spacious.

SPEAKER_02 31:35

I do want to get a sewing machine because I just feel like I could make so much. She's gonna start making her own closet. You're gonna make your own bonnet? No, no. I need to churn your own butter boxes for my outdoor patio. She's gonna turn her own butter.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Or you could go to Timu.com and you couldn't.

SPEAKER_02 31:54

But I just feel like Shea and Timu kind of I want the prices to be what they used to be. She is fucking pricey now. It's not too bad.

SPEAKER_01 32:02

What's pricey when it comes to shit?

SPEAKER_02 32:04

I

New Hobbies And Closing Thoughts

SPEAKER_02 32:05

want to pay my $5 for a dress, and why is it $20 now?

SPEAKER_01 32:08

Okay, it depends on where you're looking.

SPEAKER_02 32:09

You gotta go to the section that's like I was, and the quality isn't that good to be paying $20. It's hit or miss. Definitely hit or miss. Yeah. Fuck that place. But I still love it, but fuck it.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Well, anyway, ladies, I think our papers here. Motherhood isn't perfect, neither are we. Laugh, swear, hug your kids, sip your drink. Your mom is not enough.