The ADHD Version of a Mother’s Day Episode

Mother’s Day can be beautiful and brutal in the same breath, so we wanted to talk about the full picture. We’re celebrating the moms holding their babies close, the moms still waiting for that moment, and the moms carrying love and loss at the same time. We also get real about how quickly motherhood can turn into a mental checklist: plans, schedules, pressure, and the constant feeling that you are doing it wrong even when you are trying your best.

We dig into the not-so-glam side of trying to conceive, from ovulation tracking to the way “timing it right” can make intimacy feel like a job. From there, we shift into faith and family tradition, including baptism versus blessings and what it looks like to raise kids around religion without fear, shame, or pressure. If you’ve ever felt torn between honoring your upbringing and protecting your peace, you’ll feel seen.

Then it’s classic mom life: who our kids take after, why dads sometimes connect differently at first, and the truly unfiltered things kids say that leave you laughing and spiraling at the same time. We talk about how we respond to comments about makeup, beauty, and praise, plus the parenting double standards we grew up with and what we want to do differently as our kids become teens.

If this conversation hits home, subscribe, share it with a mom you love, and leave a review so more parents can find us. What’s one Mother’s Day feeling you wish people talked about more?

Transcript

Mother’s Day Dedication

SPEAKER_00 0:20

Hey guys, welcome to Mommy's our weekly yap session. I'm Gabby. I'm Katie, and I'm Taylor. And this week is Mother's Day, so this episode is dedicated to all the amazing women in our lives. This one's for every kind of mother, the ones holding their babies close, the ones still dreaming of that moment, and the ones carrying the love and loss at the same time. Our Mother's Day episode is for you. Happy Mother's Day.

SPEAKER_01 0:42

Happy Mama's Day. Happy Mother's Day, ladies. Yeah. Happy Mother's

Plans For Mother’s Day Weekend

SPEAKER_01 0:48

Day. Any plans?

SPEAKER_00 0:49

Go to Tupelo, honey. Oh. At 9 30 in the morning.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

I wow. I have no plans other than to take my mother horseback riding lessons. Like getting her horseback riding lessons. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_03 1:01

I love that.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Yeah. She's gonna lose it. Are you gonna do it too? Hell yeah. I'm riding a horse. And I said to Girls, like, you didn't know I'd want to go. He's like, I don't know. I don't know if she'd be I mean, she likes horses, but maybe the pony? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 1:17

I went horseback riding for the first time, like that's wild. Three months ago. Not a fan. Not a fan. No.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

What didn't you like about it?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Like, I'm glad I did it, but not rushing back.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

I used to love horseback riding.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

My horse decided to like take off running. And I like look back until I'm like, what the a little

The Unseen Stress Of Trying

SPEAKER_01 1:36

tidbit, I was thinking, you know, motherhood is often shown as a joyful milestone, but I've come to realize during this season in my life that for many w women that's not the case. You know, the road is long, complicated, heartbreaking. Yeah. So I know for us we joke, we complain, you know, we have our funny stories, we make fun, but I think we can all agree that for speaking this for the three of us, we're very lucky that we have happy, healthy babies. A hundred percent, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

And I think, yeah, we make jokes, but we know that we're very blessed and that it's not easy for everybody to get to motherhood. And so we just want everybody out there to know that we're thinking of them.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

I think going off that too, until I was kind of at the point in my life where until I was at the point in my life where I was like, okay, my friends are starting to have babies, I want to start having babies. You don't really realize how many people struggle with getting pregnant and how much work it is to like track your ovulation and like I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 2:41

That was a lot for me. Like, I feel like I was like, all right, let's have sex again. And it was like 30 days through them. Let's go. Okay. I know. It's like you said, do we have? I was like, this is the most we've ever had sex in our lives. Keep it going.

SPEAKER_02 2:57

Yeah, it makes it feel more like it's a job at that point when you're like, okay, okay, do it at this time. Okay, does anybody have a mom confession? Noon on a Tuesday or if we can make it work. Well, right. Yeah. So it is.

A Mom Confession And The Guilt

SPEAKER_02 3:15

But if you're in the season that season of life or been through it, his big blue eyes are just looking at you like, what? No, I said, go, be quiet. I'm gonna take you to an orphanage if you don't be quiet. Because he was just like doing the annoying me, not crying, not happy, just the annoying sound that he does. So yeah, that was my that's my confession. I didn't mean it, and all the haters out there. Uh he's he's 10 months, so I don't I hope it won't impact him. He won't be in therapy for that one.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

Yeah, he won't understand. It was it was a joke.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

So, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:47

Gabby over stenuated. I don't know. I was just thinking back on this past week, and it was I don't know, my brain's been all over the place, and we've just been like, go, go, go.

Baptism Talk And Belief Choices

SPEAKER_00 3:57

Yeah, Bowie is baptized. Bowie is a son of God. That's what the the priest said. He is a son of God, and I got blessed too. You did? And Adam got blessed. And I was like, I was getting emotional. I was like, I really needed this. Oh like my little therapy.

SPEAKER_02 4:13

Gil asked me that. He said, Do you have any objection to getting our kids blessed? And I said, What does that mean?

SPEAKER_00 4:18

They just bless you as they just throw some holy water on you.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

Unless something he's like, Oh, I want our kids to like not know that like feel like they're alone in the world. And I say, Well, they're not, but like I guess for a higher power. And I said, I understand that, and like I'm not super religious, but I you know, we talked about God and all that, but I just didn't really understand like what's the difference between a blessing versus a baptism. And he couldn't he didn't quite get there for me. I just was like, what are we blessed?

SPEAKER_00 4:48

I think in that terms the priest is like maybe literally just like like does a cross on their head with some holy water and like says they're blessed.

SPEAKER_02 4:58

But it's different for non-Catholics, though. I feel like they don't I don't know if they do that the same way.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

But a whole baptism, like honestly, that's like 10 minutes, it was so quick. That's good. But it's like a whole like they threw some water on his head, you know, like he was screaming for a half second, and they like say a bunch of things. It's like you're erasing the original sin, which I guess is like having sex. It's a whole Catholic thing.

SPEAKER_02 5:25

Yeah, Catholics love to shame people for having like a baby to have sex.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Because it's sex, I guess I don't know. This is going way back from like when I went to Catholic classes, so it's like a whole thing, but I guess a blessing is just like just look at I don't know. You're just not fully baptized. Are you baptized? No. No. Are you? Yes. In the same church that can I say that's cool.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

That is cool. Like how it came full circle.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

Yeah, that was my partner.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

I was thinking about this the other day. That my so my thing, I'm not very religious. I, you know, believe that there's a higher power. I, you know, I think that honestly must resonate with the Hindu religion, but I can't be a vegan, so I feel like that's an out for me. However, you don't have to be a vegan. Well, a vegetarian. You can't eat cows because they love some cows in the in the Hindu religion. And I love cows too, they're very cute, but they also taste great. So But I love a cheeseburger. That's where we're at with that. But I think that there's a beautiful thing about you know becoming well-versed in different religions and you know letting your kids decide as adults. And I feel like, I don't know for you guys, I was I'm from the South, so it was the Southern Baptist like fear of going to hell was put on me a lot when I was like a teen, not even really a teenager, it was like adolescent. So, like we were already insecure, and so I went to church camp, which was great, and that was fine. But I used to go to Wednesday night church and then church on Sundays and all this stuff. It was a lot, and it was not my parents at all. My my mom and dad were never they never pressured me to like you know be religious, but I felt like the church that I was going to at the time was very, it was fear-mongering. And they were like, Oh, if you don't get baptized, like you're going to hell. And I'm like 12 and just like, oh my God. And I had a lot of social anxiety where it was like the thought of getting up in front of the entire church and getting baptized like freaked me out because I just didn't like to be like the public center of attention. And so I was like, oh my God, if I I can't get over this, am I going to go to hell? And so that really put a bad taste in my mouth as an adult, where I was like, Is that's God's not gonna be like, nah, no entry because you know you have you you no admission to this.

SPEAKER_00 7:50

You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02 7:51

Like he's like, nope, you're actually your tickets for the downstairs in hell where there's an internal flames, which you know, my mom jokes around. She's like, you know, she bought a church book or whatever, an Easter book for Noah like two years ago. And she's like, You're not gonna burst in the flames if that comes into your house, are you? And I was like, like, thanks, mom. That's actually pretty good, and good job. But yeah, so I felt like that kind of put a really bad taste in my mouth when it came to religion and and making my kids, you know, a part of that because of how I was raised in that environment. And it wasn't my parents, it was more of a social thing where it was like my friends, just the culture, yeah. The culture in the South Like, you you know, you're gonna go to hell.

SPEAKER_00 8:36

And I'm like, what? I could see that. I could see how people put a lot of pressure on like you know, I it's all depends on, I guess, how you're growing up with your religion because like I have a good relationship with my religion, but I'm not like overly Catholic. Like, you know, like I'm not gonna force Bowie to do it. Just like as an adult, my parents aren't forcing me, yeah, anything down my throat. But yeah, I think that's something I want to traditionally.

SPEAKER_02 9:02

Oh, 100%. And that's you know, if that's something that you know, you and Adam feel like is something you want to do for your child, more power to you. And I and I'm not against it by any means. And I just I didn't really understand what the difference between a blessing and a baptism was. So, because I think Gil felt like I was like anti-baptism. And I'm like, no, no, no, it's not that. I just don't have like a church community, and I yeah, I don't have an understanding of it.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

But yeah, no, Dylan and I were just talking about this because we're both baptized. So I was like, is it weird that we're both baptized, but then I mean, we're not baptizing our kids.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Well, if you talk to any of the Southern Baptists that I grew up with, they will say you're setting your kids up to be um living in an eternity of nah hellfire.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

I just feel like it's I I mean, I grew up going to church. I mean, my mom said a similar thing because I lived in Texas till I was six. So she was like, everybody went to church on Sundays.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

It's a big culture there.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

So I was baptized Lutheran, which is like a Christian or Christian, but Dylan was baptized in his twenties in a pond in Georgia. Yeah, nice. So that's kind of cool, whatever. But yeah, no, I feel like it would be almost weird for me to just like go seek out a church and be like, eh, just for like peace of mind, let me baptize my kid.

SPEAKER_02 10:21

Yeah, you know, I just think it's something that, you know, if they want to do when they get older, oh absolutely that decision, that's great. And I will I'm never gonna tell them, you know, any I'm not gonna push any of my own ideals on them. Yeah. And once they're old enough to, you know, do their own research and make that decision. Make that decision, that's totally fine. Absolutely. And I know some in some religions and some cultures, it's you know, doing it as a baby. And that's you know, to have like to wipe the I guess. Original sin. Yeah, wipe away that original sin, which babies don't have. Don't have. It's just the thing, the term the culture, I guess, in certain religions like Catholicism and everything. But for to Southern Baptists, it's like you do it once you're older. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:07

That would freak me out if I was a teenager. Yeah, like I would be like, I can't do this.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

I get that though, because then you kind of know what your what that m meaning of it is.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:17

Interesting. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

I know people too that are like our age that grew up, you know, I guess one religion and now they've baptized into a different because they really resonate with it.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I'm like, oh I wonder if there's a baptism for being for Hindu. There's probably some type of ceremony. Yeah, Shivani. Because you never know.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

I mean, my mom is Buddhist or Buddhist.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

I love Indian culture. I love Bollywood, I love all the things.

SPEAKER_00 11:47

Yeah, I love Bollywood. My mom got married in in the Sikh culture when I was like In the what? This is a whole other part of my life that I'm on disco sharing with everyone now. Okay. I'm intrigued. I don't even know how to describe it, but basically, like it was the whole setup, like the whole garb. I had a turban on. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

Why am I just hiding out that there are photos of you in a like turban? In a I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Do we have a line? Yes. W what did you call this? Sikhism. Sikhism. Okay. I thought it was in the seat culture. That's what I heard. And I was like, that's a new one.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Okay, so the Sikh religion.

SPEAKER_00 12:27

Whole wedding. What? And you wore it. I had a turban on. I also have oh I think. Was this with lesson? Oh no. Oh, okay. Can we get the pictures? Yeah, I'll have to pull them up. I need a photo of it. I was cute, my little turban. I don't know. Is your mom still in this religion? I don't know, Ian. Your mom's such a free spirit. I love it. Put in the comments, mom, what you are.

SPEAKER_02 12:48

She's a skirt, no brow, sandals, and yep. Oh, I just love it. She's cool. She's cool. No, we like we talked for like a good two hours about astrology the last time I saw her. I love that.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

Yeah. If you want to have it. Within that

Family Traits And Only Child Life

SPEAKER_00 13:05

rabbit hole. It's a big rabbit hole.

SPEAKER_01 13:06

Gabby, you feel like you're more like your mom or your dad. Like in personality and that's a time.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

I see both. I see both. And then I don't know. It's so hard because I feel like I'm I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

I can't. I feel like I see more of your d I don't know. Your dad and some I mean you look more like your mom.

SPEAKER_00 13:29

Really?

SPEAKER_02 13:30

Yeah. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

But you I don't know, because they're very different. Well, yeah, they're very different. And you're very different from them. Yeah. But I feel like it's I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

I'm just like you are you. You are Gabby. I wonder if it's different because you're an only child too. Like I feel like maybe an only child, you do become kind of that like happy medium of both of them. Whereas like maybe like I'm definitely more like my dad. Yeah. My brother's more like my mom. Oh they are both like the emotional thinkers, like sensitive to their feelings, everybody's feelings. Not that I'm not, but my dad and I are more like the logical what your first thoughts are, the logical. Yeah, I can get very emotional black and white type thinking. And that's how my dad is.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

So oh, I'm definitely like my dad. My dad is a cancer. So speaking of astrology, my dad is a cancer. I am an Aquarius, which one's air and one is water. But cancers are very emotional people. Like my dad's people cry at the drop of a hat. And I'm like that too. And I'm very reactive. My dad is also very reactive, which is not always the best quality about certain things. And so yeah, I'm I'm very much like like him. I look more like him. But there's certain things about my mom that I feel like we both share, but were sarcastic. I also definitely get my ADHD from her, which is thank you.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Sometimes I think I get the toxic, the toxic traits from my mom when I'm gone. You know. But I don't know if that's also from like watching, you know, like you watch things as you're growing up, and like the older you get, I'm like, oh, she did the same thing. I'm like, wait, I gotta like rewind to not repeat this behavior. Yeah. Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

But yeah, that's the interesting part. Because you're not you're an only child. Like I feel like if you it was just you, so you pick up on more things, like you see more things, like good and bad.

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah, and I didn't have like anyone, like another kid with me be like, oh, what did you think about how mom or dad act this way? And like you can't I can't really ask my cousins that because they weren't there. Like I can tell them about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:42

But it's different.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

But they can't give me like the perspective that I need that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

Even I read something at one point that said each sibling has their own interpretation and their own version of a childhood. So like what I went through is completely different than the way my brother and sister may have interpreted something. And you know, also age has a lot to do with it. And so even which, yeah, like my sister and I, we and my brother, we kind of joke about things now, but you know, as when we think back or talk about things, we they're like, hmm, interesting that you took that was your that was your take or whatever, and you never you don't really think about that until you're an adult.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

And you're like, oh wow. Yeah, I find like Jordan and I are having that conversation a lot lately where I'm like, wow, like I did not yeah, or like things that once I was out of the house and stuff, and obviously when I wasn't living in the house, you know, a lot different perception on things. Interesting.

Who Babies Look Like And Why

SPEAKER_01 16:40

And then what about your kids? You think Noah's more like you for sure?

SPEAKER_02 16:44

Yeah, so well Gil, I think I've said this, he he gets so much joy out of me me bickering with Noah. I mean, we don't think her like that, but she's definitely my twin. In the beginning, she was like Gil's carbon copy, I felt like she looked more like a parson. And then as she's gotten older, her attitude is a hundred percent me. And that is a good thing. I want her to be a free-spirited, you know, strong girl slash woman, but raising one of those, oh boy, it I have to like start, I have to sing in my head sometimes where like she'll say something off like just off the wall, or you know, just in reply to something I say to her. And I'm just like I have to like take a second, take a breath, because the toxic bitch in me wants to just pop off, but then like nope, gotta like rein it in because she's definitely me. She is, and that's a great thing, but but yeah, so Noah, yes, crew looks. I feel like I get mixed reviews about him where I think he's got the blonde hair blue eyes, which is definitely my side of the family. But I heard he looks just like Gil, and I'm like, oh I don't see that, but Crew looks like Noah and Noah looks like you.

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Do you think Crew looks like Noah? Yeah, especially when they're right next to each other, like they are like, you know, when people are like, Oh, that's my brother, and you're like, Yeah, yeah. I figured that.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

Yeah, I mean I think that of Jordan, I'm like, 100% it's your brother. Yeah. No, not in that one. I've found a picture of my sister when she was a baby, and I was like, Oh my god, that looks a lot like Crew. Yeah, so I saw that the other day and I was like, Well, that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 18:27

I've said that about Isla, that I'll look at Isla and I see baby Jordan in it. Yeah.

unknown 18:33

Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

So I think Isla, yeah, like I said, Isla kind of looks like my brother, so maybe she looks like me, which I hope so, because Charlie came out, obviously. She was all Dylan and now she looks I think she's looking more like you every day.

SPEAKER_02 18:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:48

I see both of them a lot of you. Like I see Isla's eyes, and I'm like, oh, it looks like Taylor. Like she has your eyes. Oh, yeah. I love all Adam. Oh, yeah. I asked someone that this week and I was like, so like you see me, and my aunt was like, Ha, that's a good thing. Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Well, I will tell you, I've I read a fact somewhere, or maybe it was on a TV show. That's probably more likely. That men, you know, women become mothers when they become pregnant, and men become fathers. They feel like they become fathers once they are once they see their baby. And I think it it's more of this like primal thing where men to connect with their babies, they the babies always come out looking more like dad so that they can feel that connection. Because like we feel a connection because they we grew them inside of our bodies. Right. And they come out and you're just like, damn, like you're awesome. You came out of me. That's great. And then the dad's just like, You look like you know, they didn't look like him, they're just kind of like pools of stuff. Oh my god, saying that just shits and peas and cries a lot. You know, and I I mean Gil even said that it took a couple weeks for him to like really feel that bond with crew, with Noah, he's like, I felt it instantly. And so that's interesting.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

John says the opposite, really, yeah. He said with Charlie, it took a little bit, but with Isla already going into it, knowing how much he loved Charlie and like what that relationship was gonna be, he felt it a lot quicker because he kind of already understood like a daughter-father, yeah, like relationship.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

I think it's different for every person, every man.

SPEAKER_00 20:23

Absolutely, because I didn't ask him yet. I will say, as soon as literally the second Bowie was born emerged, I was like, You look like your father. And Adam was like, Oh my god, his head is all smushy, and he's like covered in like baby goo. You're like, Yep, that's him. It's like, why would you say something like that? I was like, it literally he literally looks like you, like it was probably.

SPEAKER_02 20:44

It's hard to tell sometimes. They come out looking all like dish just smooshed and disheveled and like all like swollen. And when I look back at pictures of Noah, I'm like, geez, you look like an alien. But then, you know, when in the time you're like, oh my god, it's the most beautiful baby in the whole world. Tiny smushy thing. But obviously, they're beautiful. But it's just funny when you go back and look, you're like, wow, you look totally different. Yeah, yeah. Um I think Charlie's personality is gonna be Dylan.

SPEAKER_01 21:11

Oh, yeah, I see that. Uh which there is more.

SPEAKER_02 21:13

Pray for me. Yeah, that is gonna be, she's gonna be like skydiving and wanting to do like UFC fighting when she's I love it. Can we like do ballet? And she's gonna be like, no. Stoo wrestling.

SPEAKER_01 21:27

Right. She's like, go, go, go, go, go. Yeah, and it's like the it's amazing. But yeah, it's gonna be interesting to see how that kind of uh transpires when she's yeah older. Ila, I want I keep saying I think that she's gonna be like my sensitive, like girly girl.

SPEAKER_02 21:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

And Dolan's like, I don't know if that's actually true or that's just what you're what you're like trying to manifest it.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

Yeah. Yeah. But that's I still get that vibe.

SPEAKER_03 21:52

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 21:53

She seems like that to me, where it's I mean, and again, late it's hard. Nine months old crazy toddler. Noah was a chill baby, and now sometimes I'm just like, girl, sit still. Like she does not sit still, which is great. I love that she has energy and wants to do all sorts of things, but I wish I had to have some energy to keep up. Yeah, I know. I'm like, she's always like, Mom, can you do this? And it's like a friggin' backhand spring off of whatever. And I'm like, nope.

SPEAKER_00 22:20

No, I love when she does. She's like, Want to see me do a backflip or a back roll? I'm like, how do you like should we?

SPEAKER_02 22:26

Sure. She calls it a magic trick. And I'm like, yes, let's do a magic trick. But she's like, Can you do it, Mom? And I'm like, no. No. I am old and my bones are brittle. I will break my back. And she's like, no, mom, you're beautiful. I'm like, well, that's not the same thing, but thank you.

Kids Say The Most Humbling Things

SPEAKER_00 22:40

I can't wait to hear. I don't know. Like, kind of thinking back about, I don't know if we even said this yet, but thinking of, you know, when they are in school age and they do the little like Mother's Day thing for their mom. Like, what do you love about your mom? And all the kids have like the funny things like, what does your mom do for work? My mom drinks wine. Yeah. Like, I'm so like excited to see what they're all gonna say. Oh boy. Yes. I feel like that's super humbling. Yeah, it is. Pictures that they draw, and like it's like the triangle nose that's like all the way.

SPEAKER_02 23:12

Oh yeah, Noah's starting to draw pictures of Gil and I. And she said to last night, she said to Gil, she goes, Daddy, I'm gonna draw you with your big belly and your belt, like Santa Claus. And he's like, sick. Love that, Noah. Okay. I was like, I said, she means it is a compliment. And that's the thing, is that sometimes some of the things that she says, I know it's coming from her it with good intentions, and it meant it's meant to be a compliment, but it sounds so insulting. Yeah, you're like dang like today. I when I was like about to come over, I was like, Oh, I just gotta like put some makeup on real quick. And she's like, Mom, you don't look good with makeup. I was like, Oh, and then I thought I said, Do you mean that I don't need makeup? And she's like, Oh, yeah. So she's like, How about without? Yeah, so she's like, it was funny. She's like, You don't look good with makeup mom. You don't need to put that on. You were like, Am I putting too much blush on? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:07

Like, what do you mean by this?

SPEAKER_01 24:08

I read something where it was like, you shouldn't. I feel like your reaction, like when people do your makeup or when you have makeup on, you're like, Oh, I feel so pretty, or you feel so beautiful, and like you shouldn't say that. So don't and I, whenever Charlie will like pretend to put makeup on, we'll be like, Oh, you look so fancy.

SPEAKER_00 24:23

Yeah, oh, I like that.

SPEAKER_02 24:25

Yeah, I've heard that too, where you don't want to like put emphasis on like makeup's making you beautiful, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:31

Or you know or saying good job like 3,000 times. Oh my god. It's so hard to not say it though.

SPEAKER_02 24:36

I say good job so many times.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Or be careful.

SPEAKER_02 24:40

Yeah, it's like there's so many ways to fuck up your kid these days. I mean, if they're not in therapy when they're our age, then you didn't do it. It's a miracle, honestly. You weren't present enough if you didn't, if you're not putting your kid in therapy. I'm just kidding. But you know, I think it's it's something that it's inevitable. Each generation we're gonna learn from the previous. And yeah, I mean, my parents did a wonderful job in a lot of ways, and there's certain things I'm like, damn, that wasn't great, and I'm gonna fix it. But yeah, anyway.

SPEAKER_00 25:10

Or even seeing how your parents are interacting with your kids. Sometimes I'm like, did you for like do you for you forgot everything? Yeah, you blacked it out, right? Like you remember how to use a bottle, like how to make something. Oh, you're saying I don't know. Just sometimes I'm like, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 25:29

I know Gil said he's like, I don't know if my dad like is in like he could do like diapers and stuff. Yeah, like they forget how to do it. Yeah, I guess.

Grandparents Get The Sweet Version

SPEAKER_02 25:37

Gil said something to me the other day that was like really sweet. It was a I guess he read it somewhere, but it was that grandparents, you know, the relationship they have with their grandkids is so pure and it's different because they get to do parenting again without all that extra pressure.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

I was just talking to Jill and it's like there's no stress.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

I know, I know, and I was like, geez, like that's like it really kind of put me, put it in a different perspective, like my relationship with you know, or with the relationship my daughter has and crew has with my parents, where it's like there's they're not tired, they're not worried about time and money and work and like all these individuals. They can just be present, they can just be present and enjoy that time, and you know, they they get to be with us with a different version of you, but it's like it's you know, it's a extension of you, and they get to do it again without all those extra things. Oh, that's such a beautiful way to put it. I love that and I said I was just like, dang, that's that's so sweet. It gave me chills.

SPEAKER_00 26:38

I was just talking actually to Adam's mom about that, and I I was mentioning about the podcast and we were talking about things, and she kind of said the same thing, but she said it's kind of it's beautiful, but it's hard because I see my children grow up and they don't need me anymore in the way that they used to. Like they don't need me for security, safety, or advice. Like I'm there if they want it, but I don't really have to parent them, and it's hard because I want them to need me. But now I'm a grandma and like it's just a whole beautiful other relationship, and but I don't have to actually parent anymore. I can bring in and peace out. I don't have to wake up at 2 a.m. But it did give me another perspective because you know, they come over and they want to help and do all these things, and I'm like, oh, why are you ironing Adam's clothes for him? Like he can do it himself, he's a grown man, but now I'm like, oh, like she needs she needs this.

SPEAKER_02 27:25

And I think a mother with which I don't know, talk to me in 20 years. I, you know, having boys that where girls they always come back and you know they they need their mom and their dad, but boys they they leave and they make their own family, which I know women do too, but they it's a little bit different where men kind of go out and they find their wife and or you know, their partner or whatever, and they have kids, and it's just a different relationship that they have. And I think moms of of boys that turn into men that it's a a harder, it's harder to let go in a way because they feel like that's they're losing that like that that thing, like their little baby boy. Now that I have a boy, which I always you know used to say that's like the toxic mom, mother-son relationship, and I was just like, ugh, you know, I joked with my sister. I'm like, if I have a boy, you can you and Layla can have him. And then last yesterday she goes, so can I have him? I said, No, you if you were gonna take him, it would have been way earlier. I said, I've already grown an attachment, you can have this one. Um I'm just kidding. But yeah, it's funny, like I used to say that, and now that I have a son, it's just oh my gosh, he is everything that you could ever want is just the sweet cuddles. He looks at me like I literally created created earth. I know I uh never, I mean, Noah looks at me like that too, but it's different for the boy. Like he just I don't know, man. It's it's wonderful. I mean, they can see why Lydia Gilbert is her baby, he's a six foot five baby and man, I was used to be like, oh my gosh, and now I see it. I get it.

SPEAKER_01 29:07

I know I get it, I as much as I love being a girl mom, and now it's just like comfortable, you know. When I found out I was pregnant with Isla, I was like, oh, I got this. But I do hope that we have a boy just because I want to see how you know, like the parenting from a boy to a girl is

Raising Boys And Girls Fairly

SPEAKER_01 29:25

so different. So I do hope that we kind of have that experience and can kind of see like, okay, this is what it was like to parent a girl and now see the other side of it and have that different relationship.

SPEAKER_02 29:35

Yeah, I think you know, it's with Gil, especially, he's now that Noah's got her own personality and she's doing all these different things, he sometimes he will raise his voice in certain ways. And I'm like, dude, you have to like be gentle with her. And she's pretty, you know, tough, but certain things where my my dad could yell at my brother one way and he would listen. And for me, it was like tears. And so I think as a man, you know, Gil's had to learn to soften a little bit, and that was the he's he's told me he's like, it's been tough to to learn how to soften, you know, that part of myself where his his dad was always like suck it up, brush it off, whatever. And so with a girl, you have to kind of you have to be a little more soft in at the beginning.

SPEAKER_01 30:22

Well, it's different, our brains are different, we think different, so yeah, and I could see that would be hard for a dad because they don't I feel like mom to daughter, you're like, okay, yeah, we know been there, you know, we're obviously both women, but as a dad, they don't understand how their brain works.

SPEAKER_02 30:40

Yeah. It's funny because Noah and I now are good, but I know probably when the when the teen years hit, it's gonna be world world war three. Cause I know the type of teenager I was, and I wasn't even a bad teenager, but ooh, the the emotions are just I just remember sometimes I'm like so dramatic about certain things because and in that moment, like I think back about it and it's like the world was ending, and it really felt like that. And now I'm like, I was a little over the top, but it's just weird. So, you know, and trying to like look at a 14-year-old, I get it, I see you, and I remember my mom and I was like crying over my first breakup, her just being like looking at me with like wide eyes, like not knowing what to say. What do I do? Because I was so upset, and she's just like okay, like let's let's let's uh take it down a nut. It's hard. Yeah, and I remember now, I'm like that douchebag, I shouldn't have. I know, right?

SPEAKER_00 31:39

That I was like, why'd I waste my time? Why do you even cry over that?

SPEAKER_01 31:42

I know that's gonna be hard when our kids are that age, because you're gonna, you know, in the back of your mind, you're gonna have that feeling where you're like, if you only knew how much you aren't gonna give a shit about this moment in 10 years, but but everything when you're a teenage girl, that's it is the worst.

SPEAKER_02 31:59

That is the mo that is the end, and that when that moment is over, it's everything is the worst. And it's just your emotions are just like I mean, yeah, that's how it was for me. Everything was like little ten for me.

SPEAKER_00 32:11

So do you think having well, I I want to hear like your perspective, Taylor, on like when you were growing up. Like, did you have different rules like for boys and you know, for you and Jordan? Like in terms of curfew, like did you like do you feel like you're gonna have the same for like crew and Noah? Or do you think like they'll have the same, you know, it for example, like curfew-wise, like I just remember growing up, all the guys and I mean obviously there are some girls too, like they could just go out whenever they had no rules, blah blah blah. But like I had a strict curfew, my dad had to know where I was going at all times. And I know my boyfriends, like their parents are like, yeah, just be back at a certain time.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Yeah, that's how it was for Dylan, which is funny, because Dylan and I talk about like our high school years and not really my brother and I were in high school at different times. He's three and a half years younger than me. So I feel like when like we couldn't, you know, we were in different places, so like his rules definitely were not the same. But I do remember after I moved out, and I moved out like shortly after high school, Jordan called me one night and he's like, Oh, like headed to a party or whatever. And I'm like, Oh my gosh, what did you tell our parents? And he's he was like, uh, that I'm going to a party. I'm like, What? You're like, and they were having this double standard is astonishing.

SPEAKER_02 33:23

And it was like that for me too, where my brother and I were only two and a half years apart, so we had a lot of the same friends, and at in certain points, like my parents would be like, go have to be home 11. And my brother, it was like midnight or one.

unknown 33:38

What the heck?

SPEAKER_02 33:39

And my dad straight up was like, You're a girl. That is such a double standard. But the thing is, like, I get it, but now being an adult, I'm like, I mean, I get it, but it's just I think for me, I want to make sure that you know, not giving one over the other because of their gender. And I know that it was it came from a good place and it wasn't about like it was about keeping me safe. And again, I mean, it's not like I was baking cookies, you know, when I was like out with my brother and his friends and our you know, our shared friends, but definitely baking yeah. I mean, I was definitely out in the midnight, yeah, it should I shouldn't be doing, so I guess his instincts were correct, but yeah, it was frustrating. I'm a girl, so I don't get to do all these things.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

And I mean, yeah, I yeah, growing up, I liked to play like I was a tomboy, so I would always be playing basketball, all these sports, and there is one moment where it was just me and like a bunch of guys where my mom pulled me aside and she said, You are absolutely not allowed to be the only female. Didn't understand it because I'm like, I'm just shooting hoops. Yeah, I mean, what am I gonna do? But though later on, I was like, I kind of get it in a way where like yeah, you know, her delivery, I didn't understand why. Like to an extent. So I don't know, like thinking about like, well, if I have a girl, like how I don't know, it's it's a lot of different parenting and a lot of different topics to talk about with them.

SPEAKER_01 34:55

You have to be concerned about different things. I mean, and that's just what it is, whether you want to put gender on it or not, like you just do that's just how it goes.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

But with girls and boys, there are there are differences, obviously. But I think especially, you know, when they're if they're close in age, it's gonna be hard. It's hard to be like, this kid can do this because of that, or you know, because they're a boy. And you just have to I feel like it now I've in this generation of parenting, it's you gotta give kids an explanation because I said so is not a reason.

SPEAKER_01 35:26

Oh my god, that's what got me in trouble every time when I was a kid. Because you were asking why.

SPEAKER_02 35:31

I needed to know why. I needed to know. I know, and apparently, because I said so is an answer to our questions from the generation I grew. I still believe, like I wanted to know my dad and I used to argue all the time because that was his favorite response. It it's not a reason. So just tell me I want to spend time or right, you know, whatever. Like I don't feel like driving you 45 minutes away. Or I don't want you out on a Friday night doing this. I just I feel like I want you home or whatever. Just say that. Yeah, not that I'm gonna be happy, but I'll still be pissed. But just give me a reason.

SPEAKER_01 36:06

And I was oh my god, this is yeah. My teenagers are just like replaying in my mind right now.

Reframing The Teen Girl Narrative

SPEAKER_01 36:12

But I also hate, like, I I feel like when I found out I was pregnant with another girl, a lot of people were like, Oh, best of luck when they're a teenager. And I really hate that narrative because I'm like, just because they're a girl, okay, we're gonna have a little bit more emotion in our in our house at a certain time.

SPEAKER_03 36:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:30

But I hate the narrative that like all teenage girls are just gonna be this awful experience. And I I really hate it.

SPEAKER_00 36:38

No, I think I was I was a good kid. I was a good kid.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

I yeah, you know, secretive. I mean, every teenager is gonna have their secrets, but I think it's you know how you you gotta keep those lines of communication open as best you can, and making sure that you give them their space to be a teenager, but you know, making sure they know that they have you to come to. And yeah, girls are gonna have certain differences from from boys, teenage boys.

SPEAKER_01 37:03

But just for a backstory, our three husbands are watching. The kids downstairs. It sounds like there's a house party.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

Only thing I hear is Adam yelling at the TV and one of our kids screaming.

SPEAKER_01 37:14

Adam's a hot mess, but we And then Dylan yelling from the garage, which is across the house. Who needs a beer?

SPEAKER_00 37:22

Imagine if there was daddy daycare. Oh. Like them rang it though.

SPEAKER_01 37:27

It's it literally sounds like there's a house party downstairs. I worked with this nurse the other night, and you know, night shift, you just get a chat in, and you're like, all right, so I'm just gonna divulge my whole entire life story to this changer and then never talk again.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

They know the people I work with are the deepest, darkest secrets of my life. Yep, but but never hang outside at work.

SPEAKER_01 37:50

We probably don't even text.

SPEAKER_02 37:52

Don't even have a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_01 37:53

Honestly, I I can't even tell you her first name.

SPEAKER_02 37:56

Damn.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I don't know, but I did. I love her. She was so great. We talked for three hours. Anyway, she has four teenage girls right now. We're I think her oldest was like 23 or something, and she was like telling me how amazing it is. She's like, My house is awesome. She was like, There's so much love, and she's you know, kind of said the same thing I said that she was like, the narrative is negative, but she's like, I'm on the other side of it, and it's been amazing. Yeah. Four teenage girls.

SPEAKER_00 38:23

When I think about like a house of like only daughters, I think about obviously with like a healthy relationship of like how much they love their dad too, like the how much bond. And I'm like, that's so sweet and like heartwarming, like to see that you know the dads become so protective of their little girls.

SPEAKER_02 38:38

It's so stinking cute. I had such a different role. I had a really good relationship with both my parents, but very different. Like my mom was like my emotional person. Like I told her everything. My mom I never lied to really because I could tell her most things. And my dad was him and I argued a lot because we're very similar, but he was always it used to embarrass me now that I'm gonna that now that I'm an adult. I'm like, God, I hate that I was embarrassed. Like he used to come to my games, like softball, he'd be so loud. Yeah, so loud. I could see that I love that.

SPEAKER_00 39:13

Yeah, and I would be like, stop talking from the outfield.

SPEAKER_02 39:15

I know who is this man yelling at us? I know. I was always like, oh my god, my dad's so annoying. But I just now I'm like, God, he was so proud of me. And I hate that I stuff like that is wasted on teens where you're just he was so proud of his girl. Yeah, they're pitches.

SPEAKER_01 39:31

That's so nice that you that's like a beautiful thing about becoming a mom that when you're on the other side of it, you have that kind of full circle moment where you just have a whole different level of respect and understanding for your parents. Yep.

SPEAKER_00 39:44

I was just talking to Adam about that actually, like on the way here about my dad's sister. So she she has three kids, two girls and a boy. And then I was the only child, but I hung out with them a lot. And I was like, the older I get, I have so much more respect, and like I'm like so blessed in my life, like growing up, because she took us everywhere and like I tagged along everywhere. She took four kids to the aquarium, the library, the movies, like all the the amusement parks. Like, she just was like tagging us along. And I was like, that's a lot of work.

SPEAKER_01 40:12

It's so much right.

SPEAKER_02 40:13

My mom, now that you mention it, my mom, I just wanna like round of applause for Angela. Snaps snaps for Grace. She used to take me and my annoying ass friends all over creation and had a smile on her face and just, you know, King's Dominion, like the amusement park. She was well, yeah, just doing all sorts of shit with those like I don't remember, am on point. Like, and just like had to make sure like none of us got abducted and you know, other people's kids. And I don't know if I could have that same level of trust and calmness and understanding because I'm just like I'm up here if Noah says mom one too many times. My mom's just over here, like just calm as ever driving to a different state with four kids gabbing in the back. And I just thought, yeah, I mean, I don't know how she did it.

SPEAKER_01 41:01

Yeah, I think about that. Impressive. It'll be nice though. I hope that when we're at that point, like y'all are coming with me. Oh yeah, we're not gonna have your kids, but yeah, one of y'all we're just gonna get a minivan, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Rent a transit business and get a bus or whatever, or Winnebago, and just throw them all in there. A sprinter van and yeah, we'll just get going down to wherever. King's Dominion. Not really a roller coaster.

SPEAKER_00 41:23

I'm not a roller coaster, like you guys are gonna have to go on the roller coasters.

SPEAKER_02 41:25

It depends.

SPEAKER_00 41:26

I'll go to a water park.

SPEAKER_01 41:27

I do like freak me out. I love it. You know, there's definitely diseases.

SPEAKER_02 41:32

Like now that I'm an adult, I'm like, ew, public pool, but it's so fun. You just have to like not film on them.

SPEAKER_01 41:38

They've never been clean ever. Now, circling back to Mother's Day this weekend, what's your ideal Mother's

Ideal Mother’s Day Wishes

SPEAKER_01 41:44

Day?

SPEAKER_02 41:44

I really want a facial really bad. I just want to go like get get one of those really long facials, like an hour and a half. Hey, for someone to and get that extra shit, like the the dermaplane. The dermaplane, all the things. But yeah, that's that's really what I want to do. And just have like a day where I wake up, do that, and then you know, come home and spend some time with my family, have a nice dinner, Gil cook, because he's an amazing chef. He makes better food than anything I can get out in the world. So I'm about to eat these scallops and they're gonna be good as yeah. So what about you again?

SPEAKER_00 42:18

I don't know. So it's gonna be my I guess first. It is your first time. Last time he did get me flowers, which I thought was really sweet. Well, this time you, the baby's this time. I don't know. I he did say he's like, I didn't realize Mother's Day was coming. Like, we've just been back to back to back. That's right. You don't admit that. You don't own it. He's like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I don't want to plan anything. That's what I was saying. It's like men sometimes there's like, what do you want to do?

SPEAKER_02 42:41

Like, Mother's Day. Yeah. I don't want to think. I want to go to brunch.

SPEAKER_00 42:44

I want you to do it. I want to go to brunch and I want a big bouquet of flowers and maybe a little card. I like cards. And I think it's cute when men like pick them out. Even if he just writes.

SPEAKER_01 42:54

Yeah, I'm a big card person. I don't care about like getting a gift, all that, but I want memosis cards.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

I want mimosas and flowers, basically.

SPEAKER_02 43:02

That's it.

SPEAKER_00 43:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 43:03

Yeah. And pancakes. We went strawberry picking a couple years ago with no. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:08

That's see, something like wholesome like that. Yeah, just you know, very like day drinking.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

But I mean that on the side. You drink the end picture. I was like thinking like we could go to brunch and then we could like go bar hopping. That sounds great. Maybe I'll stop drinking for a minute. No.

SPEAKER_01 43:24

No, don't do that. Just keep going.

SPEAKER_00 43:27

But we'll just hang out.

SPEAKER_01 43:28

Sunday, Mother's Day is also our second wedding anniversary. So that's right. No, we're sure Dylan. Yeah, we're gonna go to the beach Friday, Saturday, come back at some point Sunday. So yeah, it'll be a good fam weekend.

SPEAKER_02 43:41

Yeah, the girls calling. Mm hmm. Nice.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

Yeah, I think it's like our first little family trip, just the four of us. That's very cool. So that'll be fun. That will be plans like while you're down there.

SPEAKER_00 43:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 43:52

Honestly, no. I think the weather's gonna be nice enough that I won't absolutely hate the beach. Um I'll give I'll give that a try.

SPEAKER_02 44:00

They don't mix.

SPEAKER_01 44:01

Honestly, no. It's pretty low-key. We're like right in Carolina Beach, so we can walk everywhere, which would be cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 44:06

And the other day he's going to be able to do that.

SPEAKER_01 44:07

Well, we're gonna wrap up.

Closing Message For Every Mom

SPEAKER_01 44:08

The men are actually making dinner, so I'm curious what we're about to walk into.

SPEAKER_02 44:12

Well, Gil told me he was bringing his own uh pan. How serious that is. He's like for the scallops. Yeah, I don't know. You have to have some type of fucking pan. And I get I get yelled at every time I use a pan because I don't clean it right. Oh gosh.

SPEAKER_01 44:29

I just stay out of the kitchen. But yeah, so thanks for listening, everyone. Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms out there. And remember, motherhood isn't perfect, neither are we. Laugh, swear, hug your kids, sip your drink. You're mom ish, and that's enough. Bye for now. Babbage,