Am I a Bad Parent?

In this episode of FaithFuel with Bob Shaw, Bob talks about parenting guilt, comparison, frustration, and the fear of failure that many moms and dads wrestle with.

Bob shares a personal story about the struggles he and his family faced when his son Nick was younger, before eventually being diagnosed with ADHD. What once felt confusing and overwhelming slowly began to make sense—and over time, things turned around in an incredible way.

Looking at Proverbs 22:6 and the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15, this devotional reminds parents that faithful parenting does not guarantee perfect outcomes, and struggling as a parent does not automatically mean failure.

Because God’s grace is big enough for parents too.

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Transcript

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You're not alone when you ask yourself this question as a parent. Am I a bad mom? Am I a bad dad? And when life with your kids gets difficult, that question can hit hard. I'm Bob Shaw, and this is Faith Fuel. Parenting has a way of exposing every insecurity you didn't know you had. Sometimes it's little kids and the exhaustion that comes with trying to hold everything together every day. Sometimes it's teenagers. Sometimes it's adult children making choices that break your heart. And before long you start second guessing yourself. Did I mess this up? Did I fail? Am I the reason my child is struggling? And let me tell you, social media doesn't help either. You see families that seem organized, successful, spiritual, happy all the time. Well your own house feels chaotic. But real life usually looks very different behind closed doors. And being a good parent does not mean being a perfect one. Proverbs 22 verse 6 says, Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. One of the hardest parts of parenting is realizing your kids are their own people. You can love them deeply, teach them, guide them, pray for them. But you can't control every decision they make. And sometimes parents carry guilt for things that were never fully in their control to begin with. I remember when our son Nick was younger, school was a real struggle for him. He was disorganized. Homework would come home crumpled up from the bottom of his desk. Sometimes he'd turn assignments in without even putting his name on them. And many times he just didn't seem to understand the work. I'd sit down with him at home and walk through a math problem step by step. It looked like he understood it completely. Then I'd give him the exact same kind of problem to do on his own, and it was like he forgot everything I had just taught him. He had no idea how to do it. I got frustrated. Sometimes I let my anger get the best of me because I simply didn't understand what was going on. Then, eventually, he was diagnosed with ADHD. And suddenly a lot of things started making sense. Teachers made adjustments. We made adjustments as parents. We learned how to help him differently. But during that time, did I feel like a horrible parent sometimes? You bet I did. And once we understood what was going on, things slowly started turning around for him. Eventually he went to college and got straight A's. And ironically, now he's a teacher. Ah, you love your kids deeply, but there are times where you feel overwhelmed, confused, exhausted, or just plain discouraged. Then comparison creeps in. But you're comparing your real life to somebody else's carefully managed snapshot. And that comparison game will crush you if you let it. Jesus told the story of the prodigal son in Luke 15. One of the important details in that story is this. The father allowed the son to walk away. The son still made destructive choices. The son still suffered consequences. He still ended up broken. But the father never stopped loving him. And that story reminds us that even loving faithful parents cannot force every child to make wise decisions. Parenting shapes children deeply through love, example, discipline, consistency, encouragement, and guidance. But faithful parenting is still not a guarantee that every outcome in life will be perfect. And if you're carrying guilt as a parent today, remember this. Nobody parents perfectly. Struggling as a parent does not automatically mean you failed as one. And God's grace is big enough for parents too. Lord, thank you for parents and the love and sacrifice parenting requires. For the parent feeling overwhelmed or discouraged or filled with guilt today, bring peace and encouragement. Help us stop comparing ourselves to everyone else around us. Give parents wisdom, patience, and strength for the challenges they're facing, and remind us that your grace is greater than our imperfections. In Jesus' name, Amen. If today's episode encouraged you or helped lighten something you've been carrying, would you take a second to leave a rating or review? It really helps more people discover Faith Fuel. And if you know another parent who needs this encouragement, share this episode with them. I'm Bob Shaw. Peace and joy.