Share a Cup with Me
Share a Cup with Me is a cozy, story-driven podcast where, once a month, guests share their favorite drink and the stories that matter to them. Through meaningful, reflective, and light-hearted conversations, each episode creates a warm, inclusive space for connection, creativity, and cultural insight. Hosted by Annie Sands.
Transcripts:Word-for-word transcripts are archived here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/19Viv52vqm_S9zcoyc6Xgi1NgpTzKUCGow1dxJMjYHaY/edit?usp=sharing.
This document is updated as episodes are released and transcripts are completed.
Share a Cup with Me
Building Your Slice of Community- Conversation w/ Michael
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This episode of Share a Cup with Me, Michael and I have a great discussion about communities—from how to start one, how to maintain one, and what our communities actually do for us, to why they’re so important in your life. We talk about shared interests, disagreements, and even the moments where conversations go a little off track—because that’s part of what community really looks like.
We don’t always have the same interests, and that shows in the episode, but that’s kind of the point. Being in a community isn’t about being the same—it’s about showing up, listening, and engaging anyway.
Mainly, we talk about the idea that if you want a community, you have to be involved in it. You have to put yourself out there. You have to be living fully.
So, thanks for sharing this cup with me. I hope you enjoy this episode.
That's it for this cup. Until next time— keep connecting! You can follow the podcast @shareacupwithme and Share a Cup with Me on Facebook!
Hello everyone. Welcome back to Share a Cup with Me. Today I'm super excited because we have Michael. Hi. You told me. I have to look at the message. You told me. Remind me what we're talking about again.
SPEAKER_00So today I want to talk about the importance of building community and also sharing resources and just building a just basically build building a village. I feel it's very important because in the work that we do, but also in your personal life, you don't ever you never think about the being community and being a part of something that's greater than yourself. So I'll kind of share a little bit about me. So I am the project director for Student Support Services Trio here at UCO team, specifically, which is my grant. And with Team, we focus on students with like any kind of disability or diagnosed condition. So with this population that I do serve and what that I do help, and we it is very important to know your community resources, both at the university but also in the community. And because the students you know may need extra resources here. And we also, you know, we've also gotten them to get internships and employment at these some of these places. But in order to do that, you have to get outside of yourself and outside of your comfort zone. And some of the obstacles can be I don't want to come out of a shell, you know, I just like to be comfortable, I just want to do what I need to do, and then go home. That's great. That is wonderful. The problem with that can be though is you're missing out on a lot that's out there, and you're missing out on a lot of like really cool things. So when somebody says, I really need resources of how to pay for school, or I really need resources on finding a job, you know, if you if all you do is stay siloed, which you know does happen a lot, you know, sometimes in our you know, because we're so busy, you tip you might miss some of those cool resources we have here in Oklahoma or here, you know, in your community wherever you're listening from. So just take time to really you know build community and you know, take time to get yourself out there and say just say hello to people. That's that's my strategy. Just say hello. It's not gonna harm anybody, just say hi, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, no, I agree. Actually, when you said you wanted to talk about building community, it was literally the phrase, it takes a village that popped into my head.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah. Yeah, I mean it takes a village, and and I hear that a lot, and I I see that a lot, and that's true, you know, even in my personal life. Um recently I attended a protest, you know, the No Kings thing. Um, and when I got there, I did not know what to expect because I was I mean, I've attended uh events in the past, but I've never attended one of this magnitude. So when I got there, it was really cool because there was a lot of people sharing their stories and sharing their experiences during these tough times, and and they were sharing their, you know, like we were exchanging phone numbers, maybe adding each other on Instagram, and it was really cool because it is something that you're probably kind of antsy about because you know, again, you're talking about you know the current times and the current climate, so you're probably more apprehensive and nervous to share what your experiences are, but you know, when you get with a bunch of like-minded people like you, and then you're actually sharing experiences and you're both all learning from each other and then you know, enjoying the ambiance and the you know, it's really cool. One of the things I do like to do here in Edmund is go to like the little the patriarch or the mule or somewhere, and I'll come and I'll just kind of sit at the bar or something, and then somebody will come sit behind me and I'll strike up a conversation about the food, or you know, or just you know, like, hey, you know, that that burger looks really good. Like, what's on that? And then they'll be like, oh, it's you know, and then next thing you know, we're getting a talk, and then next thing you know, I work at Citizens Bank here in Edmund. I'm the blah blah blah. Do you ever need a mortgage? I'm like, yeah, well, and at the time I did. So I actually went over there and talked to the people, and you know, so uh, but it was really cool. So you just never know who you're gonna meet. And one of the things that about being a community being it's not just being being in the community, you are the community. Yeah. Because you're you're actively participating and everybody has a role in their community, and you're building, you know, you you are shaping the reality, the collective reality.
SPEAKER_02Deep breath.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But no, I agree, and it's and like you mentioned the protest, and I didn't realize we were allowed to go to the protest because I know a lot of companies are telling not that. Like, if you are caught going to a protest, it's like but like if you can go to protests is or share your experiences that way, or to support other people's experiences that way, there are multiple ways to kind of build still build and be part of the community.
SPEAKER_00One of the things I I noticed is like is that in in our um in our social media world, like it's easy to get like it's it's easy to to to be in your little bubble. And I and COVID was big with I think COVID had a lot to do with it. Because you're because when we were sitting at home, we were working from home, we were sitting at home, we couldn't go out. I think what people started doing is they were relying on their their cell phones and they were relying on their computers or things, and they still tried to build community in some ways, but what happened was is that people became extra siloed because you know, depending on what side, you know, again, stakes were high at that time. People were like on one side of the fence or the other, and what happened was is that people were creating echo chambers of you know uh you know, of inform, you know, of filtered information. So I'm gonna go hang with these people and I'm only gonna get this information, and then I'm or I'm over here and I'm gonna get this this side. And what happens is that everybody misses when you know when you're like that, and you're again you go back to being siloed, you're missing the whole point of interaction and you know the the interactions because to me interactions means you're actually taking a time to learn from people versus you, you know, like just hearing only what you want to hear. If you only want to hear what you want to hear, that's fine, but you're missing the point. And then when you encounter somebody with different beliefs or different, you know, or different thoughts, and you're too busy going plugging your ears, la la la la la la, you you're missing what you you're missing out, and I think that's uh one also another barrier to to building that community because I just think that you know when you know, or even like I'm also a sports fan, so I'm an Edmonton Oilers fan. But one thing I do make sure I do is look at the other teams in the NHL because uh it's important for me to know, okay, who are the Oilers playing, who are they gonna if I'm just sitting there watching the Oilers all the time and not paying attention to whoever, then I'm not a very important sports fan because I'm missing I'm missing the whole picture. So, and when I interact with, say, a Detroit Red Wings fan, you know, I can I feel I can talk with that Detroit Red Wings fan and you know make good comments with them and good community with them because I actually understand where that person's coming from, what player, you know, what Dylan Larkin did that night, you know, or what you know what what they're what they did before where I'm just you know just yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um I'm not a sports fan, so like I don't know the details that you do. But just because you don't have something in common with someone doesn't mean you can't build a community with them.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_02Because I think COVID made this much, much worse than it used to be. But we're so afraid of being offended or offending someone that we won't do anything, we won't try anything at all.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And being uncomfortable and causing uncomfort is unfortunately it's a part of life. Like there's no way you can avoid it. You just have to deal with it with grace and like compassion.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and I think I think the I think the biggest thing that a lot a lot of times people don't do is is take time to listen to the other person's perspective. Because you know, I've encountered a lot of people who uh disagree with me on the political spectrum or disagree with me on whatever sports teams, but whatever, but I feel I can have a good conversation with them because it isn't about just me. It's not about the world just doesn't, you know, that's my perspective. The world just doesn't end with me. Like, you know, there's a big world out there outside of what I know, and I think it is important to take time, or maybe there's a lot of things, information or things I weren't I've never been exposed to. You know, I think about like, and I use metaphors a lot, so um think about going to a restaurant, right? You go into this restaurant that you've never seen the food before, right? But you go in there and you're like, okay, you could have two choices. Every restaurant could probably whip up a hamburger for you. I'm I'm sure they have I'm sure they can.
SPEAKER_02I'm sure some of them would be offended that you asked. Yeah. But you can definitely try.
SPEAKER_00Well, if you have a little kid, it's different. But but but but I'm sure that if you go into a ramen restaurant, I'm sure they have something for like a you know, for the common folk, but you know, or this, you know, that somebody who doesn't just want, you know, doesn't want to try the ramen. Or you can take a step outside of yourself and say, oh, okay, I'm I'm thinking about trying this ramen. I've never had it before. And it could be the best thing ever, you know, but you never know unless you unless you try it. And yeah, I I really like, and you know, I've done that before. I've actually gone into you know certain restaurants and be like, you know what, I want the I want that on the meal. I've never had that before. Let me try it. And then the waiter is like, that's really good. It's got the uh let me recommend you have this with it. I'm like, okay, cool. And then so the next thing you know, I'm eating something new that I haven't taught, you know, that I haven't you know tried before. And talking to people is kind of in this in the same way because you know, again, that you know, talking to somebody, talking to somebody that you know randomly, uh you might you might miss out that if you don't just talk to them, like, oh, I just don't want to talk to random people, like, oh come on. No, again, because I've met a lot of connections in my personal life, uh, outside of what I do, you know, outside of my work, just by just saying hi, you know, and then maybe we struck up a conversation about the food or whatever. Yeah, you know, and I wouldn't have done that if I'm like, I'm gonna be in my little comfort zone, don't talk to me, you know. And yeah, you miss out, you could miss out. I've met I've met bankers, I've met accountants, I've met, you know, one of my friends, you know, uh, I some of the things that I do, like I'm a part of a couple hangout groups outside of work. Uh, you know, they're they're friend groups, and you know, me and a me and one of a friend, me and one of my best friends connected uh at a Thunder game. I was not rooting for the Thunder at the time.
SPEAKER_02He was not. She told me that story.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, Heather, yeah. So yeah, I was not rooting for them at the time, but you know, that that and that caused a barrier at the time. But you know what? We we decided to sit down and talk it out and talk about each other, and we're like, oh, there's more to us than just who we root for. It's more of oh wow, you like that, you like that, okay, or you oh you're looking to do that, try this, and then next thing you know, we're like good friends. So it you know, but again, but she's introduced me to a lot of other friends outside of, and so it just never it it is real, it's really cool to have an active social life. It it is. I mean, you know, and it's because the thing about it is if you have an active social life and active people, you know, you get a lot of experiences that you can take with you throughout, you know, your course of your life. You get a lot of, you know, like, oh, I remember when I went bowling with them, yeah. And I bowled, you know, my bowling was terrible, but we had so much fun. Or, you know, hey, I beat that whole I beat my friends, and yeah, it was so really it's it's so cool. So, yeah, or whatever, you know.
SPEAKER_02I was like, are you talking about your birthday bowling? Because I don't remember who won.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I did not win that night, but there there was a night a couple weeks ago that I did actually beat a group of friends.
SPEAKER_02That's cool.
SPEAKER_00Uh we bold at boulevard lanes.
SPEAKER_02I actually like talking to people that have differences. As long as like both sides are coming at it with like an aspect of we're going to probably disagree on this, but we're gonna be kind.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Is the huge aspect because like whether whichever side of whichever topic you're on, you don't want to be humiliated and offended, and neither do they.
SPEAKER_00Neither do they.
SPEAKER_02And so like, yeah, they might not be coming at it from the best place, but it's not your job to like make them see the wrong of their ways, because like you should definitely say something if it's definitely like offensive or not kind to like other people, but like they're it's their choice if they listen or not.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, well, like me, and I'll share this. I I have a disability and I have a rule, you know. Uh, because a lot of people because I do encounter a lot of people that say, I don't want to offend you, you know, but I but I really want to ask you this question. You know, I have a rule. If you know my name and you know that I'm a son, uh an uncle, or whatever, you know, the other roles that I'm in, then yeah, you can talk to me because I know that you've actually taken the time to understand who I am as a person. Um, and and and that's part of building community too, is to kind of look at people other than uh say a badge or a name tag or you know, or that guy with a you know with the crazy looking eyes, you know. If you actually get time and actually take time to actually get to know someone, then it's my it's my strategy that those other conversations that you may want to know about and your curiosities, because those aren't going to go away. Yeah, but if you take time to actually get to know somebody from who they are and where they come from and what they're about, then you you might be able to broach those curiosities. You might be able to broach those, and that person might feel more respected, saying, Oh, okay, you know, um, like I always tell friends, you know, like, and my friends like, you know, that I've known for a long time. They were like, I don't want to offend you, but I just really want to know, do I need to tell you is a curb coming or whatever? And I'm like, you know what? That's very considerate of you. And they're like, and they're like, Oh, I thought I was gonna offend you. I'm like, no, because you taken, you know, we've hung out many, many times. You've taken the time to get to know who I am and who I am as a person, who I am outside of you know, my my face or whatever. So, you know, you're cool. But now sometimes you get people that have no filter and they're just gonna be like, hey, what's wrong with you? And and I've learned to kind of deal with those people and just like, okay, you know, maybe, maybe they come from a background where it's okay to ask that question. And I'm like, oh, you know, and I'll explain it to them, and then they're and they're like, Okay, okay, that, okay, that makes a lot of sense. And then so then they and then they kind of and then we actually become somewhat friends, or they kind of just, or they just kind of say, okay, man, we'll have a good day. Okay, cool. So at least I, you know, embraced it and you know, at least, at least I wasn't rude to them, you know. But sometimes, sometimes your inclination could be to be rude to them, but you're just like, mm, but you learn restraint, and you're like, ah, okay.
SPEAKER_02Or you learn it's not worth the fight. Right. But um and uh I lost the track of what I was gonna say.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah, you're good.
SPEAKER_02And the funny thing is, like people that want to ask, because I also have a disability, but mine is mental. Like you don't see invisible, yes, invisible. And I've had people ask me about my disability, and I'm also not offended because by the time they asked, I've already talked about it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And they're just wanting to know a nuance of it. Because I have a learning processing disability for the listeners. You already knew that. Yeah, well. Um and so like it takes me longer to process. So I had a friend that I did class with ask me, like, so what's it like? I was like, well, think about your brain's technically your computer. And I was like, you know, when your computer is running slow, it spins and it spins and it spins. Oh yeah. That's my brain normally on a good day. And I'll take like if I'm sick or if I'm overloaded, or if I'm like overstimulated, it doubles it or triples it sometimes. So like when I'm like staring at you and I'm not responding, yeah, it's me processing what you're saying so I can actually respond in like an accurate manner.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And I've had people and I'm sure they don't mean it, well, some of them might mean it this way. If I don't respond quickly enough, they will condescendingly repeat the question.
SPEAKER_00Uh-huh.
SPEAKER_02And I just roll my eyes and just give them the answer because it's not worth going into it. Because one, I don't know them most of the time, two, they don't know me. But like once you get to know someone, their your theirs and your story will naturally come out the more rapport you have.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, exactly. See, it's like an onion. That's a that's a you know, an undergrad, you know, as interpersonal communication, and then there's a theory about the onion. And as you as time goes on, you peel back the layer, peel back the layer, and then you find out more, and then you find out more, and then you find out more. I think what brings a barrier up, you know, for the sense of community sake, you know, for the sake of this, is that we sometimes don't we we sometimes embarrassed, or or like you said, we're sometimes embarrassed by people knowing too much, or sometimes the people that you maybe you really do care and you really want to find out about somebody, but they might feel embarrassed or ashamed or you know, based on pat their past experiences, so they're guards up, and so that kind of and that kind of that can kind of kind of get in the way of building community because you know again, it does take a lot to put yourself out there. It really does. And like you know, a you know, my girlfriend is she's like, I wish I could do that. I'm like, it's not something you do overnight. No, it is not something you learn to do overnight.
SPEAKER_02You have to get you have to learn to get rejected a lot. I'm I'm a very much also a Michael. I'm the if I'm on a plane and there's like normally there's two people like beside me because I'll find the earliest metal seat.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And uh I will just find something that I want to ask them about or something that I see that I'm interested that they're doing. And yeah, most of the time they will blow you off, but other times, um if you approach her the right way, they might come back to you.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Yeah, and a lot of times one of the things that does help me, like in my personal, is that I wear a lot of sports gear, sports memorabilia.
SPEAKER_02He wears a lot of sports gears. I do.
SPEAKER_00Again, Edmonton Oilers, um, but also other teams, other, you know, leagues or whatever. So I wear something and it's eye-catching, you know, when I'm in the you know, restaurant or I'm in, you know, or the mall or somewhere, and I'm like, oh, Pittsburgh Pirates, Clemente. I'm like, yep, that's my jersey. And then we'll start talking about baseball for an hour. So that that, and then I and then I'm like, oh, what do you do? What do you do? And I'm like, I work at UCO. Oh, my son's trying to go to UCO. I'm like, oh yeah, well, then tell your son to contact these people, and you know, so hopefully their son gets, but you know, again, but that's a pleasant surprise that that person probably had, you know, but they were just going to the mall probably to go get some shoes, so but then they wind up like hearing about UCO. So it's kind of cool that you know, but it all stemmed from wearing a baseball jersey and a hat, and you know, that actually that actually is a real example that actually happened to me about a week ago. I went to Quail Springs Mall and uh and then uh I Wore a jersey and the guy's like, Oh, I love that jersey. And then I'm like, Yeah. And then we started talking at the shoe store. He's like, Oh, yeah, you would um, well, yeah, you you work at UCL? I'm like, Yeah, the school in Edmund. And he goes, Yeah, my son's my son wants to go there. I said, Well, tell him to apply here, tell him to, you know, this is where you go. And then next thing he goes, I will, and he wrote it down. So hopefully his son is gonna attend as a freshman. So you never know. And again, he was just probably there just handling his business. And I was there not being university staff. I'm over there, I'm over here just enjoying my Saturday afternoon. So next thing you know, you know, so it's just kind of it's just that's just built part of building community. It's just part of building because that man may not know my name or remember my name, but he may remember my face, and you remember he may remember that hey, somebody outside of UCO is very helpful.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it and it might probably will be the last one because like people don't always remember what people say, but they'll always remember how that person made you feel, like how you made them for or feel, or vice versa.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. And I think, and I like I said, I think I think everybody just and I get you know, introvert, extrovert, and I I hear that a lot. And I was like, I'm a big you know, I I wish I could introduce myself, but I'm a big introvert. And yeah, um, but it doesn't take much just to wave at somebody. That's all you gotta do. Just wave at them.
SPEAKER_02Are you sure you're an introvert?
SPEAKER_00Uh well, actually at home, I I I don't know, it depends on where I take the test. When I took it here, I'm I'm an extreme extrovert here at school and at work, you know, in my in my current role, but at home, I like to just sit around and play Assassin's Creed, or I like to sit around and Assassin's Creed. I know, right? Mirage is cool. Uh which by the way, if listeners, if you ain't played it, it's pretty cool. I I will I will say that. Mirage is cool, but I can't wait to play Shadows.
SPEAKER_02So Shadows is cool.
SPEAKER_00Is it okay? Yeah, see, but again, see, I didn't know that about you, and here we go. But but some but at home I like to just sit there and watch sports, and you know, um, I will text friends, you know, but I but at home is just my little you know rest area and I rest up for the next day and then I'm ready to talk to more people. So it's okay to, you know, but introverts, I'm telling you, it's not gonna take much for you to just wave at somebody. That's all you gotta do. Just wave at them, just say hi, and that's it. And maybe and maybe you get a response, maybe you won't. It's okay.
SPEAKER_02I just like to watch by people and give them compliments. Like if I like Oh, that too. If I like their shoes or is that a skeleton on your wristrotch?
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_02Okay, stuff like that. That's an easy just like be like, oh, that's a really cool wristrotch. Just add a skeleton.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that's a wristband. Uh change the pixel, it's a pixel to. I changed the wristband to skeletons. Because I'm a big skeleton kind of guy.
SPEAKER_02I was like, isn't I have been close to Halloween, Michael? But I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_00I should I'm looking for art the clown wristbands, actually, but I can't find any.
SPEAKER_02Clowns creep me out.
SPEAKER_00Um well, but yeah, um, but no, I it it but again, it goes back to again, it but yeah, like compliments, like yeah, or like hey, I like your you know, I like your shoes, or I like, or that's a really cool backpack, or that's a really cool this. Oh, thank you. And you know, maybe somebody is having the worst day in the world. You just don't know. But if they may have hear heard something that, you know, maybe a cool like you know, you complimenting whatever that they're wearing, or they're or maybe like even just saying hello, I hope you have a good day, you know. Um that might that probably goes a long way.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, just noticing something about them. For example, I was when I was walking up here to record, I told you this already. Yeah, um, there is a girl that was eating an ice cream cone, and I was like, girl, you're wanting me ice cream now, and I made her smile because it was funny. And um, I guess she thought it was funny. Um but like just cheering someone up, like you might not interact with that person ever again. And they might not remember that, but it's not gonna like take away your time just to like say hi or give them a compliment or make a joke.
SPEAKER_00Sometimes, like when and you know, again, going back to you know, my current role and you know, things that you know we have to talk to people, and sometimes and sometimes you might see somebody who's really looking around, like, or they they might feel you know, a certain like you could tell, like you can just tell sometimes that somebody's not somebody somebody's may not be feeling good that time, or maybe they're confused or whatever. And I always say, hey, do you always make it a point to say, hey, do you need some help? And then it's like, yeah, actually I do. I don't know where this building is. And I'm like, oh, okay, well, I'll walk with you to as I'll walk with you over there to that building. Oh, you will? And I'm like, yeah, it's not that, it's not that far. You're you're on the right track. You know, um, you're just a little off, but we can get you, we can get you where oh, I'm sure you're busy. You probably got I said, nah, that's fine. And I take them over there, and then they're telling me their whole life story on the way to the building, and I'm like, and by the next thing you know, I'm like, here's the building, and they're like, what do you you know, what's your name? What you know, what do you do? And I'm like, oh, you work in a library, okay, cool. I need to come see you. I'm like, okay, cool. And so that's so that's another way to kind of get people get people going, is just like, you know, like uh if they're confused and they may need some help, if you know something, don't keep it from them. Or don't show uh I hate when people like show me on a map. Oh, well, here, if you go over here to this map and go over here, here, here, here, here. It's you know, sometimes and sometimes you can't always walk with them, I get that, because we're all busy. But if you can, take the time to walk with them, yeah, at least partially where they need to go. You know, maybe that and and at least point out, you know, hey, there's the mass communication building, hey, there's the business building, hey, there's the you know, library or wherever you want to go, and then and then you know, and that goes a long way too. You maybe you're not taking them exactly where they need to go, but it but you at least you're showing them you're giving them the right, you're giving them the right area to go, and then but that does go a long way.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And even if like for me, I'm directionally challenged. So if you give me go north this way and then at like and then turn this way at a certain time, I'm gonna get lost again. Yeah. But if you tell me like find this landmark, and then you take a right at that landmark, and then you find this landmark, and then you should be able to see the building. I can find my way by landmarks, yeah.
SPEAKER_00But again, like you said, you may not ever interact with this person ever again, but if the person goes back to UCO or they go back to wherever you or they ever see you again somewhere and outside, you know, they'll probably remember you. Hey, you took me over here, you were really helpful. Thank you so much.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I know we had like um here on campus, we had tax filing on campus for the public. And uh, so we had a lot of people from out we I know we had a lot of people from Edmund and Oklahoma City communities because I know I think that they advertise that in the papers. And I know one guy, he was like, I have never been to this college of business, I don't know where this is. And I he was just like so confused. I'm like, okay, and he had his map and he was like going, and I'm like, okay. I said, sir, I'll take you over there. It's not that he goes, You will? I said, yeah. I said it's not that far off. It's not it's not far off. You know what you do. And I said, he goes, Oh, thank you so much because I don't know where to go. And I'm like, all right, it's my first time on this campus. I'm like, okay. So I walked with him, and you know, he was telling about his kids, you know, his wife, and all this cool stuff. And I was telling about what I do, and he goes, You know, my son is you know coming to high school, coming from high school, and he's thinking about going to OU, but I might have him come to UCO. And I'm like, Well, yeah, it's a nice campus, and you know, if you ever want to, you know, so I gave him a card, so hopefully he contacts me. So, you know, because I happen to have business cards on me that time, and so hopefully he comes, he comes back and he, you know, reaches out. But you know, but in the but he probably does remember that because like I said, he's he's a he's a some random guy from the public, and he's you know, and he's just looking to get his taxes done, and you know, again, you know, here I am at the right place at the right time talking to him. And so hopefully, you know, hopefully he reaches back out. But you know, I made an effort to make a community partner, you know? Yeah, because who knows? And like I think it's really cool also too, you know. I recently put on an event last week with our accessibility, um, accessibility awareness dedication day event, and it was really cool because there was so many tables there from uh inside outside resources from the campus and you know, and campus resources. And the cool thing I really saw a lot of these resources do uh was talking to each other and sharing information. Yeah, because the each resource is guaranteed is geared towards helping somebody with a disability. So we have all you know, counseling centered, DSS, you know, we had, you know, but then we had DRS and we had the bus, we had, but I saw all the tables and the vendors sharing information and contact info. And I thought that was really cool because the more that people were getting together and the more that they're you know affiliate, and they may not have ever met each other in person, or they've just heard about each, you know, heard about you know our offices and things, they didn't know who we were, but then now they now that they were talking to each other, they're now coming together, and and hopefully that means something for their office or their agency, and they can say, Oh, UCO's a great place, they have this office, or they have this office over here, talk to that person, and so maybe that'll do wonders for students or you know, anyone in the community. So, you know, that's that was really cool.
SPEAKER_02That was I saw a lot of people talking to each other when I was there. But it's also like that can also be beneficial to like if someone who doesn't have a disability was there but knows someone with a disability. And like because the way that villages work is one person might have the information and the other person might have know the people, but if they never talk to each other, then they're just sitting there waiting for someone to find them or someone to help them.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and then when they meet with a client or somebody or uh they meet with somebody they're like, I really wish I knew where how to get around in Edmund. And and then if they don't know that we have a free bus service here, SickLink, then that person may not, or you know, that person may not ever, you know, well, I don't know, I mean my Uber, and that doesn't really help the person because Uber is expensive. But if you but if that person took the time to have to do the research or actually talk to somebody at Edmund City Link, they'd be like, you know what? I talked to this lady named you know so-and-so, and she works at Edmund City Link, and their bus service is free. And let me tell you how to find them, and then that person, then that client will be more uh empowered to go search that resource out because they will know that it's free. And you know, I'm not saying you have to be the expert on resources or you have to be the but at least know your community, know what's out there, because again, if you like you said, if you just stayed in your little cubby hole, I mean, yeah, you have you can choose to do that, but you're missing out on a lot of things, a lot of cool things that are in your community, or you're missing out on a lot of cool people that you just you know you never may cross paths with, and you know, and don't limit yourself, you know, because I know that we all like to be comfortable in our little, you know, in our little cubbies, and we like to, you know, be around people like us, but sometimes you gotta venture out and and you know, and you gotta make that, you gotta take that risk. And you know, so far for me, it's paid off. And I would encourage any listener out here that kind of may say, I just don't know how to socialize. Well, you know, start by going to, you know, if you're if a if you're at a university, right? Go to the local coffee shop, go to or go to the little food place, and maybe sit next to somebody you don't know, and then kind of look at their food like, oh, that you know that, oh, that's really good, yeah. And then, you know, just kind of strike up something, you know. Sometimes you have people with headphones on, they don't want to hear that. You know, don't, don't, don't, you know, get in their way. But maybe you might see somebody, you know, or somebody with a, you know, uh, with a Pokemon shirt or something, oh yeah, Pikachu, or oh yeah, a squirtle, you know, and then next thing you know, you you just never know who you're gonna meet. You never know who you're gonna meet. And or like if you're not on campus at a college campus, maybe go to a restaurant you never you know you've never seen before, you've never been there before, go there, you know, take give yourself challenges up, go to a restaurant, go to a little place. If you like sports, go to or even go to Buffalo Wild Wings and go sit at the bar and watch, you know, there's always a game on.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And you like sports, it doesn't matter who your team is, and then maybe wear, maybe wear your team favorite team's gear, and then and then you'll sit by somebody, and I guarantee you, especially if you're in Oklahoma, somebody's gonna say, Oh, you're uh Oklahoma City Thunder fan, or oh, you're a Denver Nuggets fan, I like the Thunder. And then you say, Yeah, I like Shea Gilders Alexander, and like, but my I like the Thunder because or I like the Nuggets because of Nicola Jokic. And then, you know, and then just be nice and strike up a conversation. You never know who you're gonna meet. Because you just don't know. Because and that's happened to me many times. I'll go sit at the Patriarch or uh, you know, or I'll sit at the you know, or you know, sit there and watch a game, and I'm like, oh, you know, look at the score. And then the guy, the guy sitting next to me is like, yeah. And you know, maybe you may not talk to him ever again, but at least I made a friend for a night.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, that was kind of nice. And you know, you and you talk and like me, I'm a sports sports fanatic, so I'd talk about sports history and things of that sort, and then and then the next thing you know, the guy's like, Man, you really know your stuff. I'm like, Yeah, you know, or they'll start talking about games that they used to go to when they were kids or whatever, and that's kind of cool to hear tidbits and things like that, and then next thing you know, you know, after the game's over, you know, you shake hands and you call it a night, and then you know, next thing you know, you're like, that was really cool. I really I'm really glad I got out. And you know, so at least challenge yourself to do that, and challenge yourself to think about, you know, d to go out and meet somebody new, you know, and like I said, you don't have to be the social butterfly, but you can at least, you know, and because like I said, you you are your community, you are in your community, but you also are your community. Yeah, and you have a responsibility to like make make your world like you can't change people, but you can make the world the best you can. You know, you can build it, and the way I chose to live life is just like I'm gonna meet all the people I can and hopefully, you know, for the best, is you know, hopefully it's you know works out, and so far it has.
SPEAKER_02So yeah, I mean you can if they have headphones on, you can politely do it. They might ignore you, but like I've tapped people on their shoulder and just like had them pull out and be like, sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to let you know. I really love I really love your what you're reading, I like I wanted to read that, what's it like, or I see you're watching the game, how they're doing. And like, and they might answer you briefly and then put it back in, and but you tried, and if it didn't work out, then at least you tried.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. At least you try to include them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. But I'll tell you what, in Oklahoma, if you listen in Oklahoma, go to OOU or OSU watch party, and I guarantee you you'll make some friend. Now, if you're going to OSU or OU watch party, don't worry about the opposing team. Well, you we've got the Thunder playoffs now, right? Yeah. That's coming up in a couple weeks. So Fastler Hall is gonna do a lot of Thunder events. So if you ever want to like, if you ever want to go out somewhere and make and maybe meet a friend, that is a good place to go. Because there will be so many people and they'll be rooting for the thunder, and they'll be now. I understand people don't like big crowds, but if you challenge yourself enough, you might, you know, run into somebody or you know, I took pictures of the with the one of the thunder big the guy that wears the mask. Yeah, I actually took pictures of that guy. I have plenty of them. I have a couple pictures of that guy. Um, but yeah, I would never go, I wouldn't remember taking pictures with him if I didn't go.
SPEAKER_02Build yourself up to it. Yeah is what he's saying.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If you are if you're not to the level that me and Michael are at, then start in the place that you are comfortable, but reach out to someone that you don't know.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Reach out to someone, and you just never know. You never know who you're gonna meet. Because it couldn't it could mean that somebody might have a connection for a mortgage, or they might have a connection for I don't know, something something that or maybe like uh okay, like even a heating and air person, everybody needs a heating and air person.
SPEAKER_02Or maybe it's not something important. Maybe they told you it's like, oh, I'm also going to this event, and it's something that you also really love.
SPEAKER_00That too.
SPEAKER_02And you can be like, oh well, that's great. I might see you there, because now I want to go. And it's not like you have to go with them or they're wanting you to go with them. But you can go with your own group or by yourself. There's like another side of villages I want to talk about or building the community is like disagreements within the village will happen.
SPEAKER_00Oh yes.
SPEAKER_02So funny story, I think I don't know if you remember this. This first or second time that we've talked. Michael likes to cause arguments, not like for means, like he just likes dis he likes to learn things through arguments. And he said something that like I disagreed with, and I'm not one to back down from an argument. I don't know if you remember that. I think Robin. But like it doesn't it didn't break the friendship, it didn't break the village. It just like I know if I'm not filling up to an argument, I can just shake my head at my girl and say you're not taking me there, and he'll find someone else to argue with.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Or um I can like you you are in charge of your effort in the village. But also you're in the vibe and the attitude you bring to the village that you create.
SPEAKER_00Yep. And that's the thing, you know, sometimes in friend circles you get like disagreements or friends don't, you know, and that's gonna happen, you know? That's gonna happen, but thing to try to remember is don't take things too personally and just you know, and be like, you know, eh, maybe I shouldn't have said that. I get that, or maybe I should have done that. Try to learn from it, try to and then try to move on. It's like, you know, but but also remember, like, you know, these people aren't your enemy. Don't make an enemy, you know. Uh I was always make sure, like, to tell my friends, like, oh well, you didn't steal any money from me, so whatever disagreement we had, you're fine. No, you didn't you didn't steal, you didn't commit any of the deadly sins, like we're fine. You know, you you we're just on we just didn't we we just didn't vibe that day. It's all good. We can come back, you know, that's all good. Um for me, like I'm just like, well, if you have a disagreement with me, then come find me and we can figure it out. But you know, but if you disagree with me, but if you're mad like and you don't bring it up and you never talk about it, then we could have never fixed it, you know.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, the investors.
SPEAKER_00And then the next thing you know, they'll be like, Why do you hate this person? I'm like, I don't, what are you talking about? What do you mean? Like where did this come from? And then so you know, and miscommunications happen all the time.
SPEAKER_02They do.
SPEAKER_00They do.
SPEAKER_02But both sides have to come at it with accountability.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I've had disagreements with many friends, and there some ended badly and then others ended. Ended pretty well, like we're still good friends, but maybe we're not we don't have as much in common anymore because your village will shift as you shift as a person.
SPEAKER_00That's true. We all change. We all change, and we all, you know, because like I said, like you know, I'm about to hopefully go into a doctoral program. So that means congratulations. Uh yeah, we haven't heard anything yet, but we'll we'll see. This one?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you see it.
SPEAKER_00Okay. The higher ed one.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, and then um transformative education leadership, yeah. So I haven't heard yet, but you know, when that comes, that's gonna come with more responsibilities and that's gonna make my my mentality shift a little more, probably a lot more, than it is now. So maybe the friends that I have now, uh, you know, who knows, you know. I mean, you know, I mean, I hope to still, you know, maintain those friendships, but I mean I have as much time or as much availability, but that doesn't mean I don't like them. So that but but you know, again, that just goes back to building community and communication, you know, like hey guys, I'm you know, I have class Tuesday nights, I can't go here, or hey, I've got this. Yeah, I can't go to single. I wish I really could, but you know, whatever.
SPEAKER_02Um and if they're a true part of of the community, of your community, and of you of yours, as long as like you communicate where you stood or where why that boundary was there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02They like they should give you enough grace to like deal with it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because like you said, you know, things people change, people's responsibilities change, people you know, people shift, you know, and that and that happens. You know, we all are people, we all grow as people, we all change. That's what happens. We're all not stagnant. So we, you know, sometimes our perspective changes, and sometimes, you know, like I've had friend groups in the past, you know, that I used to hang out with, you know, when when I lived back in Oklahoma City. Now that I'm here in Edmund, my my friends have changed. I'm still I still keep in contact with some of my old friends but I have more friends with different my values changed when I came up here and my you know my mentality you know a lot of things changed because you know it's just a progression it's just normal part of life just it happens but you know when I but it's good to talk to old friends and like and then or they see a story I post or they see you know whatever and they're like oh man I'm so proud of you yeah you're doing big things I'm like yeah I'm sure you are too dude it's always good to kind of catch up and you know we are still friends but maybe we're not you know in each other's orbit as much but you know at least let them know like you're there for them you know it's just yeah but they still but they still are in my community but they're just a little distant apart now whereas back then they were around me all the time. Now it's like now it's like I have a whole you know crop of other people that I had no idea who they were you know I come from you know Oklahoma City and I you know and I and now I'm a lot of my friends here in Edmund and it's like oh and a lot of my friends have degrees and a lot of my friends now have you know and I was not the I was not the biggest Thunder fan but now I go to Thunder parties with all these other Thunder fans and I'm like oh okay this is kind of cool and so I'm came out of that shell a little bit more now you know so so yeah so but but yeah but always take time to get outside the listeners take time to get out of your shell and just take time to and challenge yourself you know to meet somebody new you never know who you're gonna meet you never know who you know and if and if you're working depending on what industry you're in you know I'm lucky to be working in higher education where it's really cool to be learning new things and learning these new resources encourages me to build community and but it also encourages me to learn. But even if you're an accounting you know maybe go to somebody that's in another department and go meet somebody over there or go have lunch you know in the common area and maybe talk about you know and challenge yourself to meet somebody you maybe never met and you know kind of you know challenge yourself and you know meet somebody new because you never know you never know what that can mean for you.
SPEAKER_02Yeah and let your community draw you out of your shell. There's been a lot of times where like Michael or another friend of ours Robbie um will be like I'm doing this you're coming with me Oh yeah and I'm like do I have to and Michael doesn't really take know the quickest he you can't get him to leave you alone when he wants you to do something. But he's very enthusiastic when he wants you to be around him which is a great aspect to have yeah um but let them draw you out like they're trying to get you to grow in a way that's comfortable for you because they probably know the if you're a stay at home person you're gonna be at home and they want you to be with them and they want to be out and it's like a compromise.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah but you know what always meet at a local pizza spot and have a slice always do that. Like just have a little slice of pizza it's not gonna take much enjoy your slice of life. There you go hey there you go maybe you can title title this uh podcast uh I don't know slice of life or slice of community taking my job away from me yeah um do you have anything else about community that you want to talk about or do you feel like you no not really just basic like I said just just take some time and just understand that you are your community you are you are your community and you are and you are in charge of your own world and your own things and you have a responsibility to make it you know as you know you can and you also can make your community as big or as as compact as you need to be you know you're not gonna make friends with everybody but at least at least make an effort to try to make people you know make your world better yeah and at least make your world you know if you if you are more of a homebody hey that's totally good totally good nothing wrong with that but like I said go to your local pizza spot maybe once a week and go have a slice or your tal the little takerias or whatever you know whatever food you like or ice cream or ice cream oh ice cream's good or like I said if you're a Thunder fan or whatever playoff team you're on the playoffs are coming maybe challenge yourself maybe to go down to your little local spot and go watch a game maybe you know go watch a game somewhere and that's all you gotta do maybe or if if you like oh I just want to stay to halftime okay stay to halftime but at least make the effort to try to you know introduce yourself and you know and meet people and just kind of just and that's really cool you know to at least I understand like if you're if you're an introvert you know but there's some extrovert in there there is there's some part of you that's like yeah you know meeting people is something really cool it's you know um you don't have to you know just because you're an introvert doesn't mean that you that you don't like socializing at all it just means it you need more time to recharge so take take the take some of that battery life go down to the local local little spot maybe watch half of a game you know halftime until halftime then you can run home you know do what you gotta do but at least chop yourself just you know go to halftime you know maybe meet a thunder fan or whatever fan that you're on you know we're in Oklahoma City so well it's all about the thunder but you know whatever fan that your team and if your team is not in the playoffs just go watch a game or something or you know that's pretty common everybody watches sports you know start start start there and then and then kind of or go to an art show you know we got arts festivals now it's really pretty everybody's doing arts art shows medieval fairs just go check it out okay I meant to do this at the beginning but we'll do it at the end all right um what alright so we are still in this recording studio that doesn't allow drinks but if you were allowed to bring a drink what were you what were you drinking and why vanilla so I was drinking coffee I was drinking vanilla sweet cream cold brew yeah I know because you know why it's the most caffeinated drink at Starbucks hint in the hint hint yeah I was drinking a lemonade earlier lemonade is good yeah lemonade is good they have have you tried the refreshers I don't really like the refreshers I've tried them they're not my favorite the dragon fruit one's not bad okay and then to close off that was supposed to be at the beginning sorry listeners fair enough um okay so if you could have a cup of a drink with anyone uh real fictional passed away live who would it be and why this is my closure all the time so you know what I'm a big music buff too I'm I'm about to be excited yeah Jim Morrison okay because the doors yeah uh so Jim Morrison was uh his if you ever read his poetry and you ever read his his thoughts and things um he went really deep on a lot of things um and I really like a lot of deep conversations and a lot of different deep philosophy you know um so Jim Morrison's probably one Hendricks of course Jimi Hendrix oh he's a good one he's a good one um now sports wise it'd be the great one Wayne Gretzky come on took the weatherers to four cups so that I mean you know I would give him a fifth cup but he left and he went to the Kings but he took he got the oilers four four cups so so there you go well there's that answer thanks for having been on the podcast Michael and hopefully we do this again yeah um definitely I don't know when um so remember everyone staying kind staying compassionate come back next month which would be May for our next episode and have a great day