Diagnosed at 45 with Prostate Cancer With No Symptoms

In this episode of Veteran Cancer Talk, we sit down with Dave Diaz, a Navy, Army, and Army National Guard veteran who was diagnosed with prostate cancer at just 45 years old—with no symptoms.

Dave shares how a routine blood test changed everything, leading to surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and years of hormone therapy. But beyond the physical battle, this episode dives into something often overlooked—the mental and emotional toll cancer takes, especially for veterans.

We talk about identity, isolation, and the moment Dave realized he couldn’t do it alone. That turning point led him to a support group that ultimately changed his life—and inspired him to lead The Reluctant Brotherhood, a nonprofit helping men navigate prostate cancer together.

This is an honest, real conversation about what cancer actually looks like—and why community matters more than most people realize.

Key Takeaways:
• Cancer can exist with no symptoms—early testing matters
• Family history and genetics play a major role
• Treatment is more than physical—it impacts identity and mental health
• Isolation can make the journey harder than it needs to be
• Support groups can be life-changing
• Caregivers need support too

Connect with Dave & The Reluctant Brotherhood:
https://thereluctantbrotherhood.org

Veteran Cancer Network:
https://www.veterancancernetwork.org

If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. No one should go through this alone.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome to the Veteran Cancer Talk by the Veteran Cancer Network. I'm your host, Ashton, and today I'm joined by Dave Diaz, a Navy, Army, and Army National Guard veteran, prostate cancer survivor, veteran, and cancer advocate. David, welcome.

SPEAKER_01 0:10

Hey, uh, thank you for having me here, Ashton. I'm uh very excited to share my story.

SPEAKER_02 0:16

Likewise. Now, you are the first person that I've had uh, you know, dual service in three branches. Um, so tell me uh a little bit just briefly about your military journey. You started off with the Navy, correct?

SPEAKER_01 0:29

That is correct. I joined the Navy uh back in 1990, uh, served five years. I wanted to uh be an air traffic controller, and uh the Navy offered that. I got out. I was hoping to get into the FAA uh back in '95, but they weren't hiring at the time. So uh I decided to join the Army National Guard. I did, and they deployed me right away, ended up going to Bosnia for a year. I liked the way uh the Army was, and I did uh seven seven more years active duty, and then I stayed in the Army National Guard and I retired um back in 2015 with 25 years of service.

SPEAKER_02 1:22

Goodness. Wonderful, that's wonderful. What why why did you like the Army a little bit better than the Navy? Now for our our Navy uh personnel on here, don't take offense. This is just a fun conversation. Uh tell me, tell me uh what the difference was for you.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Uh, you know, the difference, uh, I don't know. If it fit more, it was a person more personal fit for my I guess my demeanor. And uh so I just liked, I'd have really enjoyed it. I don't get me wrong, I had a great five years in the Navy, made great friends. Um they gave me outstanding training as uh for an air traffic controller. So uh but the the army I really enjoyed it. Um plus I liked the uniforms a little bit better.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Okay, I can appreciate that. So uh you said that you deployed to Bosnia. How long were you there for?

SPEAKER_01 2:22

I was there for almost a year.

SPEAKER_02 2:24

Okay, yeah. What was that? What was that like? What was uh the environment like?

SPEAKER_01 2:29

Uh, you know, the environment was uh different, uh especially for me. I came out of New York City from the Bronx, and now I'm in a foreign country, beautiful landscape. I was not ready for the cold. Minus 27 during the winter, lots of snow, but it was a great deployment, good experience.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

So goodness. Now you spent over 20 years in the in the military um besides Bosnia. Any did you go anywhere else?

SPEAKER_01 3:03

Uh I was stationed in Guam for a couple of years. I did that in the Navy. Then after that, I bounced around stateside. Um I just kind of kind of been everywhere. So it was a great experience. Uh won't train it in for anything.

SPEAKER_02 3:22

No, absolutely not. Now, after you got out in 2015, how long, you know, was it until you were diagnosed with prostate cancer, correct?

SPEAKER_01 3:31

Yeah, I was uh diagnosed in 2017, two years after I retired from the Army National Guard. Um, just turned 45. I had a family history of uh of cancer. My mother passed away from breast cancer. I had a few aunts uh that passed away from uh breast cancer also. Um there was a at that time we were just starting to understand about uh genetics and gene mutations and around the same. I ended up taking a genetic testing and I found out I was BRACA 2. I found out my mother was uh had the BRACA gene. You know, at that time they were like, hey, maybe you should start getting tested. And that's how um my journey started preemptively uh getting a blood test.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Now, were you going through a civilian provider or were you going through the VA at this time?

SPEAKER_01 4:33

No, I was uh I got I finally got picked up by the FAA. Uh I was working as an air traffic controller um in the DC area, and uh so I had very good insurance. And so I went to at that time I was living in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania near Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. And uh I went to my family doctor and uh I had an elevated um PSA uh blood test, which is used to uh screen for uh prostate cancer, came back elevated, and then after that they uh referred me to a urologist, and then you know my life changed after that.

SPEAKER_02 5:19

Now, did you have any symptoms at all, or were you just going off of your you know family history and then the genetics test?

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Yeah, I I had no symptoms whatsoever. I was a pretty healthy guy, and I was just going off my uh family cancer history.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

So, what was it like when the doctor called you and you know said that you had you know this brachial gene and you know, go ahead and and you know get the prostate exam. Were you thinking that you might have cancer, or is it just uh more of a presumptive, like, I'm just gonna get it done because the doctor's telling me to?

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Well, I was you know the my doc my doctor's like uh you should really get this. Uh and I end up doing that, and then uh I had one elevated uh blood test. I waited for a couple of more months, and then uh the second one came back even higher, and then that's when the urologist, uh which was on my birthday, I turned 45. They were like, uh there's something wrong here. Uh you need a biopsy. This could possibly be cancer.

SPEAKER_02 6:28

What was that like being told that at on your birthday of all things, you know, at 45?

SPEAKER_01 6:33

You know, it's kind of shocking, right? You get uh it's like getting punched in the gut. Uh, because when you hear the word cancer, you automatically think death sentence. And at the time, you know, I just turned 45, I was remarried, I had a two-year-old daughter, and I had a four-month-year-old um son. And, you know, all I was thinking was like, my family. I I'm gonna take care of my family, who's gonna take care of my family? And uh those things just start uh cropping up.

SPEAKER_02 7:08

I think I think that's actually a really normal response for you know pretty much anybody that gets a diagnosis like that. Um, who is your first call, or who did you who did you tell first?

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Uh I told my wife at the time. She was the first person I told.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

And how was, I mean, how did that conversation go? For those that have to, you know, do this as well.

SPEAKER_01 7:29

I mean, you know, it's a very difficult conversation. Uh my wife at the time, uh, we're divorced now. Um, she was a physician assistant, so she was in the medical field. Um, so I guess that was a little bit easier because she had a little bit of uh understanding, but she was shocked by it because uh prostate cancer normally affects men a little bit older, uh normally in the uh 60s, 65 and up. Uh for me, being just 45 was um uh pretty shocking.

SPEAKER_02 8:08

So you get I mean, you get the diagnosis, you know, what is the the treatment regimen like? What do the doctors recommend for you?

SPEAKER_01 8:16

So at first uh I ended up doing a biopsy. Uh they found out I I did have cancer. Um so they recommended surgery. Um so I did not mess around. Uh I went to one of the best medical centers in the country. I went to Johns Hopkins. Um they were like, they gave me a second opinion of my biopsy, and they told me I was uh a Gleason 7 of 4 plus 3. So I was at um intermediate to high risk. And so they reckon they recommended surgery. And uh so I ended up doing uh it happened so fast. Like my my birth month is in July. Um biopsy was a few weeks later, and in the beginning of September, I was already on the table uh getting my prostate removed. And um, so that's how quick that that happened.

SPEAKER_02 9:22

Now, during that time frame when you were waiting, you know, were you, I mean, was there uh I guess what was happening, you know, behind the behind the scenes as you're waiting? Because I know when my husband was going through uh, you know, testicular cancer, you know, that waiting for the orcheotomy to to happen, it was a little nerve-wracking for us. Was that the same for for you and your family?

SPEAKER_01 9:41

Yeah, it was uh nerve-wracking. And um, you know, you just preparing and um some of the things that they recommend were doing keggle exercises, building your pelvic floor. Um I really cleaned up my my diet at the time, um and just trying to uh improve my overall health uh before surgery. So that's what I was really focused on.

SPEAKER_02 10:14

Now, after surgery, um, did you have to go through chemo or radiation or was it the removal and then surveillance?

SPEAKER_01 10:21

So after surgery, I found out that I had positive margins. Uh, my cancer has spread outside of the prostate. It went into my lift notes. Um, end up taking uh at that time, it was still in clinical trials, uh PSMA PET scan uh that looks at um prostate cancer cells, and they were able to find a spot on my pelvic bone. So I ended up going seeing an oncologist in Johns Hopkins. Guy is wonderful. His name is Dr. Pienta, highly recommended. Uh he was like, you know, Dave, you're fairly I mean not fairly young, I was young. He's like, you're a young guy, you're healthy, you're strong, and we want to uh attack this from all different angles. So I end up doing uh they put my homotherapy, ADT, androgen uh deparation therapy, uh, which reduces uh our t my testosterone down to like near zero. Uh and I did that for two years. And they gave me four rounds of chemo. I did that uh that was every that was for 12 weeks, three-week intervals, then they gave me a break, and then I ended up doing 38 rounds of uh salvage radiation, EBRT. That's the external beam radiation therapy, plus three more targeted for my pelvic bone. And that was my treatment protocol.

SPEAKER_02 12:09

What were some of the symptoms that you experienced um during you know, during your chemo and your radiation?

SPEAKER_01 12:17

Uh chemo, you know, uh lucky my hair did not fall out. Um I only did four rounds, so uh, but I lost like all my body hair. And um, but you know, you go through the uh I remember my tick my taste was different, everything tight tasted like metal. Um I started to get neurotopy uh tingling in my fingertips and my toes, um nausea, fatigue, uh that was definitely with chemo uh and radiation. Not really too many um, not too many side effects with uh radiation. I think as it was a long time, so it was 38 rounds. It took almost two months. As the weeks progressed, uh my incontinence uh started to increase. I remember the third or fourth week. Um I had to start using pads, I started to leak more. Um and I think by the sixth, seventh, and eighth week, um I know it sounds scary, but I had to use a penal clamp so I didn't leak uh when I got radiated. But um those were the like the initial uh uh side effects. Uh homotherapy, that was a whole different story. Um after um like the second month uh that really takes a toll on you for me. Every man is different. Uh talking to many men that are um had no side effects, but for a lot of men, fatigue, uh brain fog, um and then um let's see hot flashes, um some more neurotopy that I had that, um uh erectile dysfunction, no libido, um strength. Uh I had no strength. I I remember uh my wife at the time, she wanted me to open up a spaghetti uh sauce jar and I couldn't do it. Uh I tried my best. I couldn't do it. I had to like hand her back the jar, and that was um that really uh affected me uh because you know uh I think with the hormotherapy kind of attacks your identity uh for like especially for men, like our you know, we pride ourselves on our strength and uh getting things done and um doing that for two years that that took a toll on that.

SPEAKER_02 15:33

I'm glad that you brought that up because uh mental health and and you know, you said your identity, that is something that a lot of people don't really think about when they're going through treatment, especially doctors. Um, they're they're focused on the the physical aspects. So on the mental side of the house, what what did you do to kind of help with you know some of maybe those intrusive thoughts or you know, did you have bouts of depression? You know, like what did you do to be able to help, you know, overcome that while you were going through treatment?

SPEAKER_01 16:04

I didn't do anything, I just suck it up, and uh that's one of my biggest regrets. I suffered, um, like you said earlier, you know, this stuff attacks your identity, your ego, your road changes. I had to retire from the FAA because I wasn't able to keep my medical clearance, um, your sexual identity, I was dealing with erectile dysfunction. Um so uh I didn't do anything, but then after probably the first year, um I was getting suicidal ideations and and stuff like that. So um they put me on some antidepressant. I went to see a psychologist, um and that helped. Uh, but for me it kind of numbed me out a little bit. Uh another thing that this hormone therapy uh it really attacked like my motivation. Like I was so tired all the time. Like I didn't want to get up and do anything. I had a hard time just getting out of bed. And for a guy like myself that was highly driven, ambitious, um, that took a toll on me mentally. And uh it was not only taking a toll on me, it was taking a toll on my my marriage, uh, my family, my friends. I kind of isolated myself. Um and I did that for like almost four years, four and a half years. And uh you know what changed for me? Uh I was at my uh at my worst, and I was like, there's gotta be some other guys going through this, and and I heard about support groups and stuff like that. I didn't have any in my area. I was in the Gettysburg area, uh, so I I I went online, I found a group, and really just I didn't talk in the beginning. Um I just listened, and uh but I kept on showing up week after week. They had a beat one meeting a week, and I kept on showing up, and that there like changed my life. Uh just getting uh the frustrations, the anger, the sadness, uh really started to like make changes for me uh mentally and emotionally.

SPEAKER_02 18:55

I think it's important, you know, when especially for veterans, you know, we tend to self-isolate uh whenever we're, you know, going, you know, when we're going through a struggle, because it was kind of embedded into us when we were in the military, at least, you know, for you know, for a lot of my uh fellow fellow Marines that I served with, not to reach out, you know, for for help, lean on your brothers, lean on your sisters, you know, but you don't want to be a burden to others. And um I I love that you were able to go and find a group. You know, I wish that you had found it sooner, I'm sure like we all do, but um obviously it's it's been very impactful for you. This is the Reluctance Brotherhood, correct? That you're mentioning? Yep, but yeah, so tell me a little bit more about them and you know how they've impacted you know your life and and what you're doing now.

SPEAKER_01 19:42

So I you know, I I end up finding uh a support community online. It was called the Reluctant Brotherhood. It was started by a gentleman out of uh uh Minneapolis, uh Minnesota, and uh his name is uh John Tiesberg. And he was like, he had prostate cancer, and he was like, there's he was looking for a group also, and he wasn't finding it, so he decided to start it. And this group has been around for like 15, 16 years. Um and I just started going to his meetings, and they really started to provide uh a space where men could talk and not feel judged. There's a lot of things that goes on with this with prostate cancer that really affects men. Um and for myself, I was like, man, this is a great uh like venue or place where I could talk and not only talk but get different perspectives uh from other men that are on similar journeys. And uh I kept on showing up week after week, and then I started to volunteer, then I started to uh moderate some meetings, and it it really, really impacted me. And then one day John gave me a call and he's like, Hey Dave, uh you know, I've been uh not only myself but the other guys in the group, uh, they've been uh watching you and you've been really stepping up, and uh I want to you know, he told me I want to step down and I want to see if you're interested in running this. And I was like, well, John, yes, I would love to. I I want to, but I'm gonna change things. I really believe uh in what this community does for men. Uh so I ended up taking it over. I took It into a nonprofit. Uh, that was about two years ago. And we went from one meeting a week, which is Wednesday. We run about three to four meetings a week. Uh, we run about I don't know, eight to nine different types of meetings. Uh, I have from men under 60, that's a whole different demographic. I have uh a meeting for men that are newly diagnosed to have lots of questions, uh, you know, maybe about a treatment or about side effects, or maybe, you know, they just got lots of questions. So we have a meeting for dad, and then I have uh a faith-based meeting, I have even uh a gay by and trans women meeting that's uh provided, um advanced cancer. Then we have just our normal meetings, uh Tuesday nights, we call it open talk where guys could just come on and just talk about anything. Uh it doesn't have to be about prostate cancer, it could just be about life. Um, maybe they just want to event or um talk about some other issues. And then my main meeting is on Wednesday night. Uh, we get men from I get men from all over the globe now. Um and men just want to maybe give an update on their cancer journey or they want to talk about something. A lot of times, we're just there sharing stories and just laughing our heads off uh is very comical.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

I love you know, I I will say that, you know, laughter and that sense of community really does make the cancer journey a lot easier. Um seeing somebody that has gone through, you know, cancer and that's kind of going down the same path that you went down, what what would be your message, you know, outside of that community and obviously reaching out to the Reluctant Brotherhood, but what other what other message would you give to you know somebody that that's starting their their journey, you know, with prostate cancer?

SPEAKER_01 24:12

My biggest message is that one of my biggest regrets was trying to do this alone. Um there's there's people out here they're uh they would share their stories, give you advice, give you a perspective. Um you shouldn't do this journey by yourself. And it's not only for for you, it's also for your families. Um you know, I end up getting divorced. Uh this disease had an impact because I isolated myself. Um and it took a toll on my marriage. And and this is why I'm a big proponent about signing up or just visiting a support group. This gives you a venue, uh, almost a training ground for you to not only communicate, but also learn how to communicate uh to your partners, to your family, to have those difficult conversations. Uh it's a it's hard. Like uh I also have two adult sons, you know, they're 31 and 28, and that was a hard conversation.

unknown 25:31

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 25:31

But when you go to a uh a support community, uh it gives you practice. Uh-huh. You're talking to other men that are on similar journeys, uh-huh, and they're going to give you advice, perspectives, and so you could have some ideas to have those conversations on your own with your friends, for your colleagues, spouses, things of that nature.

SPEAKER_02 25:59

No, I think it's great that you're you're normalizing, you know, your you know, your experience of what happened. Because I think too often uh when when you get the the cancer, the the dreaded cancer diagnosis is, you know, one, you think it this is this is this is it, you know, this is this is it. Um, but it's also, you know, very like you said, it could be isolating, you know, you think that you're kind of the only one out there and and with the reluctant brotherhood, you guys are doing a fantastic job on on normalizing that conversation so others can be better prepared for that. Now, how would somebody uh reach out to your organization? They're looking for you know that community that you mentioned.

SPEAKER_01 26:36

Well, you could find us online. Um, we have a website called the ReluctantBrotherhood.org or dot com. I own both of them, uh, domain names. Uh, you can find us on Facebook, you can find me on LinkedIn. Um, but yeah, you go to the website, uh, you'll see all the different types of meetings that we provide. Also forgot we provide a caregiver uh meeting because spouses, partners, and caregivers they need support also. Um, you know, a lot of times we think we just have cancer, but that's not true. Um everyone around you has cancer and they need support. Um you know, caregivers and spouses, they no one signs up for this, right? And it takes a it takes a lot of time, it takes a lot of energy, and if you don't get support, you eventually get burnt out. And uh and then you end up this is the thing when you get burnt out or you're not able to take care of yourself, right? You're not able to take care of any uh anyone around you. It's like uh when we go to the uh when we go fly, right? And we sit in the beginning and they're always talking about uh the oxygen mask, right? The flight attendants to give a little briefing about the oxygen mask coming down. They always tell you, hey, make sure you put this on first, right? Then you'll be able to put it on your child. And that's how this is, right? For caregivers and uh all the people that take care of us, take care of you first, you know, because then you'll be able to take care of all, you know, your loved ones.

SPEAKER_02 28:38

No, it's wonderful advice for for caregivers. I I will say this about my own experience of being a caregiver. You know, I I wanted to fix everything, you know, but I can't tell you how many times that I was sitting there, you know, kind of crying next to Casey, like, oh man, I can't believe this is happening. He's sitting there, it's like, I'm the one going through it, you know? It's like, yeah, that's that's true. But it it is important to sit there and take care of yourself because you're not going to be able to take care of, you know, your your uh your veteran or you know, the person going through that. Now I do want to touch on something that you've mentioned earlier um about how everything tasted metallic, uh, you know, while you're going through, you know, chemotherapy and radiation and everything. Um, did you were you ever told about you know using like wooden spoons or anything like that, using a different type of um, you know, material when you were when you were eating?

SPEAKER_00 29:26

No, I never got that um advice whatsoever.

SPEAKER_02 29:30

We yeah, we didn't either. I didn't find that until a little bit later on and and everything. So that was something that Casey had had mentioned a few different times as well, as everything kind of tasting off. So um for those that are going through it and you have that metallic taste, you know, wouldn't wouldn't use wooden uh wooden silverware. Well, David, thank you so much for uh, you know, for coming on, telling your story, telling the good, bad, and the ugly. I think it's so important to be able to normalize uh, you know, these conversations so other people know what to expect uh when they're going through uh when they're going through chemo. For those that are interested in, you know, joining one of Dave's group, it's called the Reluctance Brotherhood. Um, all the links will be down below. But Dave, thank you again for joining us.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Well, thank you. Thank you for having me. And I just want to kind of close with this. Um and I know this is mostly for the veteran community community, and we all think, you know, we're badasses. Uh, but strength, you know, strength isn't carrying carrying it alone. Um strength is knowing when to stand shoulder to shoulder with uh other men, other people who understand. And it's just like being in the military. Uh not one person can do the job. It takes a whole team. And so use that team concept when you're going through a a difficult difficult journey as uh a life threatening disease.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

I couldn't say it better.