Episode 12: How A Teenage King Reshaped The Baltic World - Sweden: Part 2

A teenage king. A pile-on alliance. A war that drags on for 21 years and quietly rewrites Europe. We’re breaking down the Great Northern War in a way that actually sticks, from the Anti-Swedish Coalition’s opening gambit to the final treaty that ends Sweden’s era as a Baltic Empire.

If you like military history, European history, and the kind of storytelling that makes treaties and battles feel human, follow along with us. Subscribe, share this with your favorite history friend, and leave a review with your hottest take: was Sweden doomed after Poltava, or did it lose earlier?

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Transcript

Hospital Detour And Hello

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Anyway, so sorry that we had to cut this in two. Um I'm gonna come back and record last night after doctor's appointments, and then the doctor said go to the hospital. And I said, What right now? And she said, right now. And I said, Okay. And then I didn't ever come back.

unknown 0:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:15

So here today. We're we'll we're everything's fine. Yeah. Everything's fine. Nobody freak out. Nobody freak out. It was like an hour-long hospital visit. It's fine. It's all fine.

SPEAKER_01 0:26

And I didn't tell my mom, so she'll hear this like months from now. Be like, what dude? Oh nothing. It's fine. Hey my doodle dandies. This is Kelsey. And I'm Sarah. And we're that's so macaroni. Yeah.

Why Everyone Targets Sweden

SPEAKER_03 0:48

What are we talking about? The Great Northern War. Wonderful. Let's do this.

SPEAKER_01 0:52

So it starts because Russia, Denmark, Norway, and Saxony, Poland, who are I guess are friends now, not Poland, Lithuania, but they're all sitting at the bar at an Applebee's in 1697. Because that's the place where disgruntled monarchs meet.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

In an Applebee's Applebee's.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

I fucking hate Applebee. I thought it was trashy enough. It is a one of them says under their breath, Man, I hate Sweden. I've been saying this whole time. And the rest turn to look. You know, says Denmark Norway, King Charles XI just died, leaving his 14-year-old son in charge.

SPEAKER_03 1:33

15, he was 15.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

The source I got said 14, and I just rolled with it. 14 or 15-year-old son in charge. Either way, a teenager. Either way, too young to be a king. And we can probably take him down. And this is how the anti-Swedish Coalition is created, and plans are set in motion. And I I'm not even joking. They're called the Anti-Swedish Coalition. I'm obsessed, actually.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

That's really funny.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

I like that they all got together. They're like, fuck these guys.

SPEAKER_03 2:02

Like, I've never met any Swedish people to be like against them, but Me either. Aren't the Skarsgards Swedish?

SPEAKER_02 2:11

Probably probably.

SPEAKER_03 2:12

Okay, well then the Swedish people are fine with me because you produced those men.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

I think that Daddy Skarsgard and Mamma Mia is by far my favorite. Okay, that's fair. That's a good one. So much. I'm here for it.

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Hmm.

SPEAKER_01 2:25

Anyway.

Personal Unions Made Simple

SPEAKER_01 2:26

Okay. So remember how we were talking yesterday about all those like weird unions and like they're kind of part of the Holy Roman Empire, and they're kind of part of Poland, and they're kind of part of somewhere else, and they all have different things.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

Well didn't they have like a specific name?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

I learned, I don't know if I said this yesterday, but I learned through again hardship and tears that it's called a personal union. So all those weird unions we can figure out it's like having the same royal but being their own country. So a personal union is, quote, a combination of two or more monarchical states that have the same monarch while their boundaries, laws, and interests remain distinct. It's kind of like states. It's like a commonwealth. Okay. So a real union would involve constituents of states being to some extent interlinked by sharing limited governmental institutions. So they're not linked that way. It's just like, I'm also your king. Keep doing what you're doing, we love it. And that's it.

unknown 3:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 3:36

Alright. Which I think makes it really easy to change monarchs and friends. Like, you're like, I'm the Holy Roman Empire, and then Poland's like, no, you're not. And you're like, no, I'm not. Alright, I'm I'm here. Tell me what to do. Either way, I'm Brandenburg, and that's what matters. Yes. So by 1700, they are ready to launch a series of attacks on Swedish holdings in hopes that they can bring the young king down. Augustus II, the strong. I don't know why he was called the strong. Muscles? He was so buff. Um the king of Poland at the time.

SPEAKER_03 4:08

Yes, he was. He was buff. I was gonna say he was one of those Jim Bros.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

He was. Yeah. Just chugging protein. Snortin' protein powder. Um snorting creatine, drinking protein powder. Augustus The King of Poland, an elector of Saxony, attacks Livonia in February 1700. Okay. Frederick IV, King of Denmark and Norway, marches into Schleswig and Holstein in March of 1700. Lastly, Peter I, or Peter the Great, Bsar of Russia, lays siege to Narva in October 1700. Surely all three of these combined will prove difficult for the now 17 or 18, depending on how we're counting, um to manage. And it should all be over quickly. No. Because that's how wars go. No. Bing, bang, boom, everything's done. We've covered World War One, the introduction to World War One. We've covered the Punic Wars in three parts. We've this one's taking two parts.

SPEAKER_03 5:14

I just feel like are not as short as people want them to be. I feel like they just take a little longer to really wrap up, you know? It's not like a year-long like slap fight, guys. Okay. This is like this takes a while. Right. Slap fight is just your battle.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

You might win a battle, but you haven't won the war.

unknown 5:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Challenge you do what you will. Sorry. Slip slap. There is one part that is actually pretty

Denmark’s Fast Surrender

SPEAKER_01 5:38

fast. So Denmark and Norway invade Holstein Gottrop, which is south of Denmark and connected to Sweden through marriage.

SPEAKER_02 5:44

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Um and his drunken escapades. Shenanigans, yes. Cousins slash brother-in-law.

SPEAKER_03 5:53

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

Royals. Yep. Royals. So Denmark besieges the fort at Tonning and Holstein Gottrop in March 1700 as Augustus of Poland is heading through Swedish um Livonia. But there's something that Denmark forgot. Which is the Altona Convention of 1689. What's that? Thanks for asking. Essentially, this is an agreement between the Danish crown and the duchy. Duchy? Douchey?

unknown 6:24

How do you spell?

SPEAKER_01 6:29

I think it's a duchy.

SPEAKER_02 6:32

It's for the Duke, the douche and duchess.

SPEAKER_03 6:40

That's douchey. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

That's that's what I've been saying. And the douchey of Holstein Gottroup. So the Danes and the Duche agreed to resolve ongoing conflict. They agreed to resolve ongoing conflicts at the time, 1689. Um, and establish and like so they're like, we're gonna be at peace, and the Netherlands and Great Britain are essentially like the babysitters of this peace.

SPEAKER_03 7:07

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:08

Um and attacking Holstein was in violation of the Altona Convention, and Charles XII reminded Great Britain and the Netherlands of their promise to intervene, and intervene they did. While Frederick was in Holstein Gottrap, Charles and his backup navies landed an army of 10,000 people just outside Copenhagen. Copenhagen. And they're like, you-hoo! Over here, sweet summer blood. And Frederick whips around. He's like, ah we're all the way over here. Alright, I surrender. And with the Treaty of Travendal, Denmark and Norway is out of the Great War in August 1700.

SPEAKER_03 7:46

Oh, so they were like, yeah, short months. That part went quickly.

SPEAKER_01 7:50

Good for them. They just turn around and they're like, oh phs. Um actually we're good. Yep. So to sum it up, the treaty says Denmark and Norway did a very bad thing by attacking Sweden's friends and promise to never do it again. Uh and they also promise to never be friends with Sweden's enemies again. It feels very like elementary school. Yeah, I was gonna say, like, I feel like this is like middle school girl. And it's gotta no, it's gotta be younger than because like I'm imagining like friend bracelets, like best friend bracelets. Oh my god, yeah. If I gave you a best friend bracelet, and so did Courtney, you have to, I don't know, probably a bitch. And you have so you better take Courtney's bracelet off because we're best friends. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 8:30

That would be like, I don't like Courtney. I don't know who this person is, but I'm not here for it.

SPEAKER_01 8:36

I don't I the only thing if there is a Courtney in my past and you remember me, I'm sorry because it's not personal, it's just the first name that came to me.

SPEAKER_03 8:44

There is one name that you and I like unanimously fucking hate. But besides that, it's not Courtney. Yeah. Um no, I just like I don't know why this just like elementary school friend thing just like I had like a horrible flashback to elementary school because I was not cool at all. I was the fucking weird kid.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Same.

SPEAKER_03 9:08

And I was standing with my friend Morgan, and one of the popular girls came up and handed Morgan an invitation to her birthday party, and then she stared at me, and then I stared at her, and then she's like, Okay, Sarah, I guess you can come too, and handed me one, and I was like, Okay.

SPEAKER_01 9:30

I hope you didn't expect me to bring you a present.

SPEAKER_03 9:32

I d I did. Because my dad said that I had to. Yeah. She was also like a super fucking rich kid. Like their house was like a mansion, it was insane.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Oh. Gave her a present. You did. Why are own damn presents? Ugh anyway. So, anyways, Speen's like, you can't hurt my friends, and often you can't be friends with my enemies anymore. And they're like, okay. Oh, and also give Holstein some money because you invaded them. No. So in that sense, they were right. So very quickly for them. Yes. For now. They come back later. Okay.

Poland And Saxony Get Played

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Alright. At the same time, Augustus of Poland was campaigning uh through Livonia, and it's not going well. He wasn't able to take the large port city of Riga, and none of the locals and the local nobles supported him. So Sweden's given them a lot in terms of all like lifting them all up, remember like public education and you can't just beat people randomly and stuff. Um yes, that's important. So it the the way that I like thought about it, because it used to be part of Poland. So the way that like it just like came up in my brain, it's like when the roses finally go to get David from the Amish farm.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

And I'm like, Linfonia! We're here. It's us, your prior rulers. Three days later. He was like, I know. We were worried sick. I texted Alexis. Where's Lymphonia? Or it's profitable port cities. Let us help you with your port cities. If we're not ready to come home.

SPEAKER_03 11:12

There's a button on your dress. Ew.

unknown 11:14

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 11:15

We're going home. But they didn't.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

They were just, they weren't ready to come home because Poland was just after the alligators came back.

SPEAKER_03 11:23

Um get it.

SPEAKER_01 11:24

Um, regardless of the first part of the war with Poland, um, the war with Poland was like a little harder. So Augustus II, King of Poland, an elector of Saxony, has gone into this We Hate Sweden agreement solely from his position as an elector of Saxony and not as the King of Poland.

SPEAKER_03 11:43

Okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 11:47

So that means that he wasn't acting on behalf of Poland.

SPEAKER_03 11:51

He was acting on behalf of Saxony?

SPEAKER_01 11:53

Of Saxony and his own personal interest. So his actions were driven basically by personal gain.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

I see. That sounds like a politician.

SPEAKER_01 12:01

Yep, and that's about as good as I got there. Um he had lost control of the Commonwealth of Poland, Lithuania at this point, because Lithuania is still there, I guess. They're hanging out. Um, and he was hoping to get it back, and then some, and then like part of like what they'd lost so long ago. Um, however, he wasn't acting as an official in official capacity for Poland, but Poland is gonna get the brunt of this. Okay. Um, because he's still their ruler, regardless. So I see. Okay. Many in Lithuania and Lithonia side with the Swedes. Shocker. They're like, no, we don't want to be fucking peasants again, where you beat the shit out of us for no reason. Um and Charles 12 comes on through Poland. He takes Wilno, Warsaw, Krakow, and then he finds out in the Battle of Kilsnau. Kilsau? Sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:56

Well, that's okay, because Hans Drubbel. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Um god. Um, anyways, so he finds out at this battle that Augustus has gone around to Pomerania. So they play a game of cat and mouse for a while, and then Charles is like, you know what? Fuck this, and go straight into Saxon. I'm done chasing this motherfucker around. So kid. And it ends with the Treaty of Altranstadt. Yes. Man, I think that went a lot better than the other word. Um, in 1706. So that he chased him around for six fucking years before he was like, I'm done here.

SPEAKER_03 13:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 13:37

Augustus has to renounce his claims to the Polish throne and his friendship with Russia. So we can't be friends anymore. Charles XII is just like collecting all these BFF bracelets from Russia, and he's like, You can't be their friend, give it over. Takes their bracelet away. And you can't talk to each other anymore.

SPEAKER_03 13:56

Well, I mean, he is a teenager, so it makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 13:59

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and Charles puts Stanislaw Lezinski on the throne of Poland. Um, and Augustus has to formally say, Congratulations, Stanislaw, you deserve this. And I clearly didn't. That's funny. So he has to congratulate the guy who took his throne.

SPEAKER_03 14:22

I'm screaming.

SPEAKER_01 14:23

In taking his throne.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

I wish I was that cool.

SPEAKER_01 14:26

That is also just such a teenager move. Like, King Charles is just making all these, like, it just really reminds you sometimes that he's a teenager. Because it's like, now say good job, Stannislaw, for winning this throne. And he's winning it from me. Damn it. No!

SPEAKER_03 14:42

I don't care.

SPEAKER_02 14:44

Say congratulations! I'm the king, you do what I say. Don't be a sore loser. He's either that or a boomer.

SPEAKER_01 14:53

Yes. Okay, so all Russians who came to Augustus's aid in those six years were to be handed to Sweden as prisoners. And Johan Patkul, the Polish diplomat and politician who organized these treaties with Russia to for the anti-Swedish coalition, he did the wrong thing and he signed it. So Charles executed him. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

He's like, Johan wrote this. And he's like, oh, oh, Johan, we have a fucking problem. Yeah, he's a teenager.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

And then he killed him.

SPEAKER_03 15:22

His prefrontal low is so mush. So yeah, I'm gonna make people apologize for shit or like unlike weeklong benders.

SPEAKER_01 15:33

So like while his poor little brain is still attempting to make like connections.

SPEAKER_03 15:38

I mean, yeah, it makes sense with these just killing people because.

SPEAKER_01 15:44

Anywho. So we w we're gonna walk it back to 1700 again so we can talk about Russia.

Narva And Sweden’s Early High

SPEAKER_01 15:50

Okay. Um the one fucking thing I could find information on was this was was battles with Russia. So much information on battles with Russia.

SPEAKER_03 15:58

But because Russia wants you to know everything all the time. They want you to know how strong they are.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Yes. Big swinging. Um so, anyways, I cut a lot out.

SPEAKER_03 16:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:09

Because it would just be so unbalanced.

SPEAKER_03 16:13

It would be like an entire episode on Russia. Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 16:17

Yeah. Okay. So I was like, I'm not doing this. Um Russia did not have a well-trained army at this point. Um, but Peter the Great was not gonna be deterred. And he won he wanted the inroad to the Baltic that they had lost during the time of troubles, with fake ass Dimitri. Uh-huh. And he was gonna fucking have it back. Okay. So help him God. Russia surrounds the city of Narva in Estonia. Sweden is there and ready to fight, and by the afternoon on the 29th of November, it's on. Because the weather takes a turn and starts blowing snow directly into the eyeballs of the Russian. Some of the s uh some of the Swedish officers were like, should we wait until the weather dies down? And this, Charles makes a good call, and he goes, fuck that. No, get them while they're blinded.

SPEAKER_03 17:01

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 17:02

So they do. And they just wipe the floor with this Russian military who is not well trained and currently blinded by a blizzard.

SPEAKER_03 17:11

But Russia is like super cold. So is Sweden.

SPEAKER_01 17:14

So, like, what's the issue with the s uh when it flies directly into your eyeballs, it's really uncomfortable.

SPEAKER_03 17:21

No.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

When it blizzards out, I'm just gonna have you go and stand into the wind, and then I'm gonna come and throw punches at you. We're gonna see how well you do. No gobs.

SPEAKER_03 17:35

No, no, but like holds your eyelids open.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Can you call you now, Sarah?

SPEAKER_03 17:42

Oh man. Okay. Alright, whatever.

unknown 17:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:46

So there's a bunch of moves and counter moves. The beginning of the war was really working in Sweden's favor, just like I'd mentioned. But things start to go downhill at the Battle of Poltava in 1709.

Poltava Breaks Sweden’s Power

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Yeah. It took place in the summer of 1709. It was a decisive win for Peter the Great over Charles XII.

SPEAKER_03 18:06

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Um, and this is this battle is considered like the end of Sweden's status as a major power and marks the beginning of Russia's supremacy in Eastern Europe. Um, it was fought north and west of Poltava, west of the why did I write all this down? Forskla River in Ukraine.

SPEAKER_03 18:25

Because you really want people to know exactly where this happened.

SPEAKER_01 18:28

You're right. I do. I do. That way they can picture it properly.

SPEAKER_03 18:32

Yeah, and then they can like go visit it and then just like Yeah, and be like, I'm here now. Yeah, and just imagine Charles XII getting his ass kicked.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Getting his scrawny teenage ass just handed to him by Peter the Great. Yes. Yep. Yep. So when you go there, because you will, obviously, after hearing the story, you'll want to go, um, north and west of Poltava. Which is west of the Forsk Forskla River in Ukraine. There are 80,000 Russian troops. To Sweden's 17,000. Mm-hmm. Charles wanted to charge past the Russian line and directly assault the Russian defensive position, but he was unable to actually lead the charge because, like you said, he was shot in the foot.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

He sure was.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

So that makes it really hard to charge forward.

SPEAKER_03 19:17

And either I mean, have you stubbed your toe? Yeah. Like, could you imagine getting shot in your foot? I broke four bones of my foot. Yeah, I can imagine it. Fuck did you do that?

SPEAKER_01 19:27

When I was 14. Why did you do that? I've been gimpy ever since. I fell off a roof.

SPEAKER_03 19:32

I feel you told me this and I just don't remember. Definitely told you.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Because I'm gimpy and my feet hurt all the time.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

Well, maybe you shouldn't fall off roofs.

SPEAKER_01 19:39

I should not have been near the edge of the roof in the first place. Why were you on the roof? Because I was thinking about making it my way off of the roof on purpose, and then I was like, that's a bad idea, and then I tried to back up and then I slipped. And so I just landed with style. Embrace. Yeah, but it wasn't my fucking face. So could have been so much worse. Listen. I mean now I'm a cripple, but it doesn't matter. Um so Anywho. He got shot in the foot. Right, he got shot in the foot, which I know the pain because I broke four bones of my foot. I sprained my ankle once. Shut up. I also sprained my ankle. Okay. Just like a ragdoll. So so either his commanders didn't understand his plan of action, or they just weren't bold enough to try it. So they got their asses kicked. Yes. Like we said, sometimes if you just run headlong screaming, people kind of go, Oh my god.

SPEAKER_03 20:40

Yeah, that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 20:41

Get away from that guy. It didn't work this time. And they just well, they weren't willing to run screaming directly, like in an arrow fashion towards her defenses. Those aren't the soldiers that I want on my side. Yeah, no, me either.

SPEAKER_03 20:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

So That's when he takes off to Turkey, like you told us.

SPEAKER_03 20:56

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

The next big one, next big battle. We're just gonna cover like the last few battles and whatnot. Um the major battles, because everything in between is findable with like four hours of effort. So I just covered the big battles. That's fine. I'm I'm here for it. So the next major battle is that of Gadbusch. Okay. In 1712 between Sweden and Denmark and Saxony. I don't know where Norway went or Poland. They were right, Poland's a friend now. Yeah. For now.

SPEAKER_03 21:30

For now. It's always for now.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

For now. And this is Sweden's last victory for the entire rest of the war.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_01 21:37

Using the element of surprise. 14,000 Swedish troops against 16,000 Danish soldiers, supported by 3,500 Saxon cavalry, leveraging the terrain, artillery fire, and aggressive infantry tactics. Just completely shatter their enemy center. Okay. So good for him. He his foot healed and he's like, We're going to drive straight. straight towards their defenses like this.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Oh my god didn't heal and like all I can imagine, you know those little like weird your mom had one. Those little like knee scooters. Oh yeah. He was just on the battlefield with that.

SPEAKER_01 22:14

Scooting along as fast as he can. Yes. I got really fast on crutches. I can believe it.

SPEAKER_03 22:19

Yeah. Oh my god. Anyway. It's like from a horror movie. And just like clack clack clack.

SPEAKER_01 22:30

Terrifying little invalid. Okay, so but they couldn't advance any further um because winter and winter sucks up there. And the Swedish army was later encircled and had to surrender at Tawning in May 1713.

SPEAKER_03 22:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 22:45

Russia's back. Back again. Guess who's back? I love France. Russia's back. Russia's back Russia's back.

SPEAKER_03 22:53

Eminem please don't sue us.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

We're really not that important. Please please don't we love you.

SPEAKER_02 23:01

Anyway.

Vyborg Siege And Naval Chaos

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Right, the Siege of Vyborg started in April 1710 and um drove the Swedes into the inner walls of their defenses there. Little castle or something. Um the Swedes on their way into their inner defenses try to burn down the outer city so it doesn't fall into Russia's hands. Okay. Interesting. I find that an interesting tactic. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

It's very strange.

SPEAKER_01 23:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 23:31

Like I wonder what the thought process was.

SPEAKER_01 23:33

Uh that's just one thing I I don't I don't think I'll ever understand. Um yeah that's fair. There's clear people for right now, God. Um but they fail, luckily. Like the fire just doesn't catch. Um there are Russians on land, and then just a few days after the start of the siege, they're surrounded by sea as well. Okay. Sweden sends ships, but due to weather delays, as is wont to happen, they arrive late, um too late to engage the bulk of Russia's Navy, and they decide to blockade the rest of the main ones import and that's essentially all that they're good for at this point. Okay. So they're like haha we got your dingies and that's it.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

That's all we got your dinghies I'm too much of a child for this. Okay. They have their dingies. Got it. It's like one of the only kind of boats I know it's just the little boat for the big boat.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

That's all I know.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

Anywho someone educate us on like boats and ships. Actually don't that sounds really confusing.

SPEAKER_01 24:31

I was like you know who would love to do that?

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Dan? Yeah. Yeah. That's how uh Joey is with airplanes.

SPEAKER_01 24:37

With airplanes too.

SPEAKER_03 24:38

It's fucking weird.

SPEAKER_01 24:39

I know what that one is. Do you know based on the sound of the engine I'm like no my god that's what he does too.

SPEAKER_03 24:44

Oh why would I No?

SPEAKER_01 24:46

I mean like it's cool that you know thanks for telling me but like don't ask me if I know. You know I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 24:52

No definitely don't have a good day.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Don't be an ass. You know I'm not you know I don't know a single fucking thing about this oh fuck. But they're so often wrong I think that it just makes them feel really good.

SPEAKER_03 25:02

Yeah that's fair.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

They need a win every once in a while they're like I know this airplane engine you're like good job what's two plus two you could yeah Danny can do that with boats airplanes like most war machines. Yes it's exhausting he's really good at it though fish actually fish remember go to the aquarium he's like this one's a that fish and he starts telling me about it and I'm like cool I don't even have to read the signs I just go with Dan he points out three fish and he's like this is a that fish and I'm like nice thank you. I also do that I know okay I know and I don't I like not having to read the signs. So it's just telling me everything I need to know. Alright and I get to just stay looking at the fish. I don't have to try to puzzle out what label is theirs I just get to watch these funny looking fish. Someone else knows and tells me it's a good tour. It is a good tour. So the Swedes hold out the people we're talking about here the episode uh the Swedes we're we're doing an episode that's right they hold out until the beginning of June when the Tsar gets tired of waiting for them to come out on their own and just bombards the shit out of them. And on June 13th 1710 the garrison of Vyborg surrenders. Russia took all the remaining healthy soldiers prisoner and shipped the eight hundred wounded and 169 women and children to Helsinki.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Why?

SPEAKER_00 26:25

Because you don't want them just the healthy soldiers.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah but like I'll just leave them there. Why do they have to be shipped somewhere? Oh because this is Russia's land now and you can get the fuck out.

SPEAKER_03 26:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Well fuck dude doesn't want you there. Can't Alright Russia calm down. And it doesn't say how many healthy soldiers they took I just know how many wounded soldiers there were. So I don't know like Okay. I I was like alright you don't need to know your fucking business they're Russians now. Yep sorry guys so finally we get to the Battle of Gringham which is a final final major naval battle of the Great Northern War in 1720. It took place in Leadson Strait in the Baltic now I didn't write down exactly where this was but I could have because the Wikipedia page was so detailed and telling me precisely which islands this was in between and I was just like I can't say all those words. Okay. Like I literally can't they're in Swedish. I don't know how to pronounce that and I'm just gonna make barely pronounce English a fool of myself so I um it's in the Baltic Sea. Cool. And that's what I want you to take away from this um and there are two accounts of this and w they differ completely like not completely significantly so we know that the truth is somewhere in between. Okay. Russia says that the Swedes had a 52 gun ship of the line which I'm sure is a big ship because it's got 52 fucking cannons on it.

SPEAKER_03 28:02

That's a lot it's a lot it's gotta be big four frigates which are not as big as ship of the line and nine smaller crafts which are like dingies but probably bigger okay and then how many dingies I need to know a hundred and three dinghies.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

Beautiful okay and four lifeboats they're gonna need more than four lifeboats. These are unsinkable ships thank you oh we've heard that before yeah anyway at this point you haven't though not in 1720 yah flying jack so there was a total of 156 guns between these things and a thousand marines that's it yeah I guess I mean I guess when you're on a boat you don't really need the people yeah but like when we were talking about the Punic Wars like they had to row that shit oh yeah I guess that's true. You had to have five men to an oar to row it. And then the Romans had so many because they didn't know how to like be m mariners well enough so they had to actually jump onto your ship and stab you to death so they had to have more people.

SPEAKER_03 29:13

I mean all you really need is just a pot of snakes I didn't think about that. They sure didn't anyway never saw that coming a thousand marines which seems a little low to me but okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Well this is after the plague so maybe that's that just wiped out a lot of people you know dang I should have worn that sweatshirt today.

SPEAKER_03 29:34

Which one?

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Uh the tour of the black plague I know and I have my bubonic rats shirt oh my gosh it's my favorite okay you know what if we ever do episodes on that which we totally will absolutely yeah okay yeah wonderful actually I'd like us to dress as rats I can also do that.

SPEAKER_03 29:51

Can I be a rat wearing a sweatshirt with a rat on it? Can I be a rat with Mickey ears? That's a mouse?

SPEAKER_01 30:00

So no you'd be a mouse no I'd be a rat with Mickey ears.

SPEAKER_03 30:03

You're gonna have two sets of ears?

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Yeah oh my god Okay so the Russians say that the Swedish ship of the line the big big ship and four frig and the four frigates which were the smaller big ships enter the strait in pursuit of Russian ships and two of the frigate frigates ran aground which made maneuvering the rest of the Swedish fleet awfully difficult and only the flagship and I don't know what kind of ship it was. Okay. And I don't know if a flagship is a specific kind of ship but that one was able to escape. Okay sounds good. Got it so the Russians say the Swedes ran in, busted up their ships on the shore, or you know, when they sailed too close to shore and then got their asses handed to them because they couldn't really move their ships around the fucked up ships ships. Um was your shit fucked up today? Oh it was they got it fucked up today. So and then according to the Swedes say things difficult. They say a fierce battle took place. The Swedes lost their four frigates after they'd run aground but the Russian losses became so heavy that it the entire fleet quickly decided to withdraw from Olin, leaving 43 sunken ships and a thousand dead Russians behind. The Russian losses prevented their navy from launching any further major operations until the end of the war with the Treaty of Nyset I believe that story. Yeah so the Swedes were just they're like yeah we may have crashed our Fort Frigates but we scared them off. Yeah we still fucked shit up so bad? Mm-hmm yeah they they ran away scared yes no so the truth is somewhere in between there men that's all I have to say also fun fact both sides say that they won this encounter okay so there is no winner just PBR but the outcome would be the outcome of this regardless of who won or didn't win was the Treaty of Nysaad um and it was the last peace treaty of the Great Northern War.

Treaty Of Nystad Changes Europe

SPEAKER_01 32:23

There was a bunch of them in between because Sweden wouldn't fight somebody and win and have a peace treaty and then it would fall through and back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. This last one is between the Tsardom of Russia and the Swedish Empire Russia had managed to occupy all Swedish possessions on the eastern Baltic through through the entirety of the war the 21 years of war. In Nysaad King Frederick of Sweden um which is the first I've heard of this fucking guy he was Charles's successor.

SPEAKER_03 32:53

No his sister was his successor. Well he came after I know and then two years later he took over yeah he's a success because he's a successor because how dare there be a woman in charge in Sweden.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

Yeah you can't have that but he's still a successor he's just down the line a little bit I don't know where he came from but yeah like I don't know if he's related I didn't care to look into that same same I was like who the fuck is Frederick you know what he came after Charles. Yep so what I need to know right now is that so King Frederick I of Sweden new guy uh coming in right at the end formally recognizes the transfer of Estonia Livonia and Ingria to Russia while granted um toll-free export of grain from Livonia up to a value of 50 rubles annually oh god do not go over rubles again that broke my head the first time I refuse additionally the ceded territories maintained their right to their existing financial system which helped them not feel so uh scared because they didn't have to count barrels of fish in order to figure out what their money was worth yeah yes sorry I have to crack my knuckles if you hear it in the background. Sorry so they did they could they could keep their real-ish money um as opposed to their fish and cows cows sturgeon and expensive coats yeah okay got it got it got it and like I don't know what combination of them equals like halves you know like what if I have one nice lady's coat and fifty cows? No. Do I also then need five barrels of sturgeon to make up the difference? Yes. It's hard to know. So they were also the the ceded territories are also allowed to keep their customs the their borders their self-government their religion and their languages this remains in place until 1881 with the death of I think it was Alexander II. Okay. Anyways then they decide we're not gonna do that anymore. So it lasted for about a hundred years and they're uh Russia was given the right to mediate conflicts between Sweden and Poland but could not interfere with the Swedish crown and its succession. Okay. The Treaty of Nysat effectively shifted the power balance in the Baltic and truly in Europe itself the Swedish Swedish imperialism ended never came back and Russia entered as the new empire. That sounds about right the end fucking Sweden Sweden fucking Sweden They're like and then there's Frederick and I'm like who the fuck is you know what I don't care Frederick is fine.

SPEAKER_03 35:37

You know what we should do next?

SPEAKER_01 35:38

We'll take him Frederick no more Sweden? No I won't fine I won't have it fine then fuck no I almost cried so many times during this research so so frustrating all right well that's it for you Sweden never again not for a while yeah for a good long while that was a lot we'll think long and hard before we come back something real good to offer yeah all right I gotta go do more

Instagram And Email Sign-Off

SPEAKER_01 36:10

chores.

SPEAKER_03 36:10

Yeah I also have to I have lots of laundry to do boo alright well oh right social media yeah so the only social media we have right now is Instagram and it's uh that's so mac underscore podcast um so follow us and send us stuff on there and we also have Gmail uh that's so macaroni podcast at gmail.com for your stories your family stories your town stories your favorite history story or even like what happened to you in history class because like I have a couple of things that happened to me in history class listen good stories anyway so yeah send us over your your tales any suggestions things you want to know more about that'd be great and uh we'll we'll see you guys next time oh my god oh my god all right snap sleep yeah all right bye bye