The Senior Zone

Ep. 701 | Plan With Purpose. Live With Power. | Housing & Healthcare Decisions

Shawn Perry Season 14 Episode 701

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0:00 | 58:42

 What happens when you stop delaying—and start deciding? 

Overview:
This week on The Senior Zone, we’re tackling two critical areas that directly impact your quality of life after 50: housing stability and healthcare planning. 

Segment Highlights:
• Johanna Shreve (DC Office of the Tenant Advocate) breaks down tenant rights, protections, and what seniors need to know to feel secure at home

• Donna Smith (Compassion & Choices) discusses National Healthcare Decisions Day and why advance care planning matters now more than ever 

Signature Features:
🎂 Birthdays of the Week
💌 Dear Grave Woman with Joelle Simone
🌟 Later Life Lowdown (DC, MD, NoVA resources + BenefitsCheckUp.org) 

Access / Call-to-Action:
Listen live Monday at 10am on WYCB 1340AM or stream at www.MySpiritDC.com
Podcast available after 11am on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music & more 

Thank you for listening and until we meet again…keep your head high, your heart full, and always — be someone who makes someone else look forward to their tomorrow.
 

Opening Remarks & Weekly Vitamin

SPEAKER_05

All right, all right, all right, my good people. Good morning and welcome home. This is the Sting is on, and I am your host, Sean Curry, where we don't talk about aging, we talk about living with clarity, confidence, and purpose. Now, let me say this. There comes a point where, quote unquote, I'll deal with it later, starts working against you, later turns into stress, later turns into confusion, and sometimes later turns into decisions being made without your input. And that's not how we move, y'all. Not on this show, because today we're talking about two things that directly impact your quality of life, where you live, and how you plan for your care. But first, let me give you your weekly vitamin, something to carry you through the week ahead. I was um in a grocery store the other day, lime was moving kind of slow, folks checking their watches, shifting their weight, you know, just ready to get through it. And it hit me. We spend so much time trying to get through life, we forget to take control of it. But here's the truth the life you want responds to decisions, not delays. So whether it's understanding your housing rights or putting your healthcare wishes in place, don't wait. Step into it. Because when you take ownership, you take your power back, and that was your weekly vitamin. Now listen, if you ever missed a show or you want to go back and revisit any of the conversations on your own, the Senior Zone is now a podcast available on demand on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, and many, many more options. So wherever you are, whenever you need it, we are right there with you. Alright, family, let's lean into it in segment one because home should feel like stability, not uncertainty. But for many, navigating tenant rights and housing challenges, it can feel overwhelming, especially as we age. That's why this conversation matters. Joining me this morning will be Johanna Shreve, Chief of the DC office of the tenant advocate, helping renters stay informed, protected, and empowered. And then in segment two, we're talking about something just as important: planning ahead. Because having your healthcare decisions in place isn't just smart, it's a gift to the people who love you. With National Healthcare Decision Day coming up, we're joined by my friend Donna Smith from Compassion and Choices to help guide you in that conversation. And before we wrap things up, y'all, you know we've got birthdays of the week. We got a powerful moment with Dear Grave Woman, featuring Joelle Simone and later your later life lowdown news, resources, and updates from across DC, Maryland, and Northern Virginia. But before we take this quick break, I want to send some love and gratitude to our sponsors and partners. So thank you, Legal Counsel for the Elderly, AARP of the District of Columbia, AARP of the State of Maryland, Compassion and Choices, Jewish Council for the Aging, and the DC Department of Aging and Community Living. Folks, we'll be right back after this short break, brought to you by Legal Counsel for the Elderly, providing free legal and social work services to DC residents. Most in need, we'll be right back, I promise.

SPEAKER_00

Legal Counsel for the Elderly champions the dignity and rights of DC elders by providing free legal and social work services to those that needs to foreclosure. Need help obtaining social security or veterance benefits. Legal Counsel for the Elderly at 202-434-2120. Income eligibility applies. LCE is an affiliate of AARP. 202-434-2120.

SPEAKER_06

Attention listeners, criminals are consistently developing new ways to steal your hard-earned money and personal information. The AARP Fraud Watch Network is here to help you protect yourself and your loved ones. See or report scams in your area with our scam tracking map. Get guidance from our trained fraud specialists, and sign up to receive information on the latest scams. Knowledge is power. If you can spot a scam, you can stop a scam. Get more tips and resources at aarp.org slash fraudwatch network.

Segment 1 – Tenant Advocacy

SPEAKER_05

Welcome back. This is the Senior Zone, and I am your host, Sean Perry. All right, family, let's lean in on this one because for many of us, home isn't just where we live, it's where our memories are, where our routines are, and where we feel most like ourselves. But let's be real, navigating housing, especially as we age, it can get complicated. Rent increases, lease questions, accessibility needs, and knowing your rights, it can feel like a lot. And that's exactly why this next conversation matters. Joining me this morning is Johanna Shreve, Chief of the DC Office of the Tenant Advocate, an office dedicated to protecting, supporting, and empowering renters across the district. And today we're going to break it down in a way that makes sense so you feel informed, protected, and confident about where you live. Chief Shreve, welcome to the senior zone.

SPEAKER_11

Thank you so much, Sean. Thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_05

It's my pleasure to have you. Let's just get right to it. Let's start with the foundation, uh, Chief Shreve, because some folks may have heard the name, but don't fully understand the role. What is the D.C. Office of the Tenant Advocate and what does your office actually do for residents across the district?

SPEAKER_11

The DC Office of the Tenant Advocate is one of the youngest government agencies. We are in the process of celebrating our 20th anniversary on April the 18th of this upcoming month. What do we do? We provide education, we provide legal representation in the judicial, legislative, and uh context, we provide emergency housing for tenants across the city, and we provide guidance on a day-to-day basis basis. We have a hotline. You can write to us on AskTheRector at Ota.dc.gov. You can call us on a daily basis at 202-719-6560, and we will answer your questions. We are located at 899 North Capitol Street, and you can personally come to our office and meet with our case managers and our attorneys when you have a problem.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, well, I thank you for that, uh Chief Shreve. Now, as you just mentioned, you know, you're celebrating a major milestone for your office 20 years. Take us back for a moment. How was the office created and what was happening at the time that made this kind of advocacy necessary?

SPEAKER_11

Well, it actually started in 1985, if you want to know the truth. When the uh when the District of Columbia decided to bring rent stabilization to the city, they created a section of that legislation, section seven, that laid out terms and conditions for the Department of Consumer and Regulatory Affairs, which is now known as the Department of Buildings, to provide tenants with information, answer their calls, and to assist them if they could on the legal side. But we know that the Department of Buildings, their responsibility is something different. Their job is to inspect properties, make sure that you're like you have a basic business license and those kinds of things. So they found out as time went on that that legislation wasn't doing the trick. So in 2005, in the Budget Support Act, they created the Establishment Act of creating an office that was specifically set aside independently. I am an independent agency, I'm not subordinate to the mayor. And our job is very, very clear to provide the tenants with their rights. We created the tenant Bill of Rights. That tenant Bill of Rights was used when the Biden administration decided to create a national tenant Bill of Rights. They looked at the tenant the tenant Bill of Rights that we had created here in the District of Columbia. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_05

Proceed, go ahead. Finish your thoughts.

SPEAKER_11

No, I was gonna say the Office of the Tenant Advocate is the only one of its kind in the United States. We are the only government agency in this country that specifically is designed to deal with the rights of all tenants in the district.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, well, I'm glad that you said that. That history really, uh, Chief Shreve puts things into perspective and shows why this work uh still matters uh today. And building on that since 1985, right? Going back 40 years. Um your office, OTA, Office of the Tenant Advocate, as you just mentioned, is considered a unique office nationwide. What are some of the key programs, some of the key services that set your office apart from others across the country?

SPEAKER_11

Well, one that I can think of and one that I that I created in 2009 is the emergency housing program. Um when in the district a building is closed due to a fire or the government closes this or another agency closes it for some reason, the tenants who live in that building normally have no place to go. And in 2009, I created a program for the city and it was called the Emergency Housing Program, and we provide 14 days in hotels for tenants when they have been temporarily rendered homeless. So if the the government comes and puts a placard on your building and says this building is closed because let's say there is no water, which is a health issue, all the tenants in that property are put into a hotel for the next 14 days while they deal with the trauma of losing their home, uh, as well as helping them to find uh additional housing, which we triage with the Department of Human Services and other government agencies to provide. Our task and our responsibility is to give you that temporary housing accommodation, and that's what we do. We also work with tenants in terms of representing them in cases where the landlord has failed to comply with the regulatory requirements of the city as a request to habitability. So if you have a unit where your unit is not habitable, you have an infestation of cocky roaches, or you've got mice, you can come to the office of the tenant advocate and we can work with you to help you create a demand letter for your tenant. We can uh create help you create all of the things that you need to do to go to court. And if in fact your issue is of a public issue, meaning it would impact tenants across the city, we will represent you in court at no cost to you. Tenants can come to our office, it is not based on any income eligibility as some legal aid, like legal aid and other offices are. This is unique to our office in that we help everybody.

SPEAKER_05

Well, powerfully uh said, Chief Shreve, because to me it shows that this isn't just reactive help, it's proactive support, uh, is what you're overseeing. I want to switch gears and talk directly to our audience right now because many of our listeners they're navigating what we call aging in place. What are some of the biggest challenges you find, uh Chief Shreve, that seniors face today? And how does your office step in to give them support?

SPEAKER_11

You know, I'm so glad you brought that up because I think about my grandmother when you talk about aging in place. Um I believe that it's important for tenants who live in apartment complexes to make sure that they address the living reality of life. And that means estate planning, uh, creation of wills, uh, ensuring that they have uh identified uh what to do with all of their personal belongings, because we find that when people do not have a plan, uh it doesn't go well. Uh I had an uncle who died in public housing here in the district and there was no plan. And I couldn't get into my uncle Lau's apartment because he had moved from one place to another and I didn't have a key to his new unit. I think that it's always very, very important for people to be prepared. I was a Girl Scout leader for a lot of kids in this city, and being prepared is real important in life. Uh, I believe that the seniors, we work with the Office of Legal Legal Elderly that are attached to the AARP group. We work with the Department of Aging in the city, and we work with seniors in all of the buildings across the District of Columbia to ensure that they are aware of the opportunities that they are entitled to. As an example, if a senior lives in a building that has been built prior to 1976, that building is considered to be a building that's rent stabilized. If the senior has signed up uh with the office of the rent administrator, when it's time for rent increases, their rent can be reduced to only that of the CPI if they have registered with the rental uh the office of the rent administrator. So we try to ensure that we get all seniors registered so that they pay a lower rent. We also will help seniors, and now that changes are coming in technology, my God. We're beginning to see changes in how tenants pay rent. And that change is causing tenants to have to use technology that a lot of them are not aware of. We are working with management companies across the city to ensure that they are providing training to those tenants, and if not, we will come in and do the training for that management company. We have no problems to doing that. Uh we also create tenant associations to help tenants gather because the power is in numbers. When there's a problem in a building, you don't want to go it alone. You want to make sure that you and your neighbors are all being protected from whatever the ills may be in the habitability context.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, that right there, Chief Shreve, if I can sum it up, is where information turns into protection. And you just advocated for that. I now want to lean into something that can really be life-changing for our older adults. What exactly is, and I'm being educated right now from you as well, uh Chief Shreve, what exactly is reasonable accommodation or reasonable modification, and how can those tools help seniors remain safely in their homes?

SPEAKER_11

Well, it's very, very important that as people age in place, that their units become accessed, can be modified for accessibility, such as having handrails in your bathroom, handrails in your bedroom to help you get out of bed. Because there are a lot of illnesses that are what I call hidden ill illnesses, such as rheumatoid arthritis. You can't see that, you only feel it. Okay? You can't really see heart disease, you only experience it. You can't reach high to that cabinet in the kitchen if you've got that arthritis in your hand. So having a reduction in terms of having accessible cabinets so that they're lowered to give you better accessibility is another piece. If you have an accommodation need, the law says that a housing provider can deny changing your unit if it is financially infeasible. We recommend, and we work with the Department of Human Rights who have the responsibility of handling all accommodation requests that are denied. And we we will train tenants and their associations, which we believe are important because every community has every apartment creates its own community. And that's why we see tenant associations as being so vital and critical to help the people who live in that community work together, and then by them working together, we can help them become more empowered to ensure that their rights are being protected. So those are the kinds of things that we believe that you build upon. And we have courses online. You can go to YouTube on the OTA website, we've got courses on leases, how to deal with the lease process and other matters that we know daily tenants call and ask us about. We come out to your units, we will do that at your request. We have a stakeholders meeting every quarter. We have a tenant summit once a year in September, which we've been doing since 2008. And we try to ensure that we are meeting the mission, the program missions that are that are outlined in the Establishment Act to the letter to ensure that tenants are being protected in the variety of contexts that I have uh responsibility for. And then, of course, we deal with the subsidized properties also, so it means that we have to be on top of the low-income housing tax credit. We have to know the Section 8 programs, Section 8 uh voucher programs, Section 8 project-based programs. All of these programs are things that this office is required to be the expert in to ensure that we are protecting the rights of all tenants.

SPEAKER_05

Chief Shreve, I can already tell uh that I'm gonna have to have you back for a more expanded conversation because this is just good and useful and relevant information. I want to take uh my last question one step further, if you will indulge me. How does the Office of the Tenant Advocate actually assist tenants who need to request, say, a reasonable accommodation or reasonable modification? What does that process look like?

SPEAKER_11

They can contact our office if that is the requirement. We will put them in touch with the Office of Human Rights where that particular issue is enforced. And and there's really it's important to know about what we do and where enforcement uh uh procedures are in place. With them, if they find that they run into a snag, they can call us back. We have a case management system where once you come into our system, we have you locked in and we have a history profile on you. So we can follow up with you if you need us to work with you on that matter. Uh if it means that you also need assistance in finding funding, if the property will not do that product, we can go to the Department of Department of Housing and Community Development, where they have funding, that they can provide funding for this type of thing. It's called preservation activities, and those are the things that should be done.

SPEAKER_05

Uh test me if I was listening correctly, Achief Shreve. Your number, folks listening right now, the number is 202-719-6560. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_11

Nail on the head, my friend.

SPEAKER_05

Nail on the head. That's what I'm trying to do for our older adults. Folks, if you have any tenant issues, give them a call at 202-719-6560. I'll say that one more time, a bit slower. 202-719-6560. My next question, uh, Chief Shreve, is you know, I know a lot of folks, you know, are wondering, do senior tenants have any additional rights, additional protections or benefits that they should be aware of in the District of Columbia?

SPEAKER_11

Well, as I mentioned, Sean, if they live in a property that was built prior to 1976, which would mean it would be a rent-controlled or rent-stabilized building. Yes, they do have rights. They have the right to have lower rents. Okay, and we want to make sure that those if you have not registered with the office of the rent administrator, that you call that number 202 719 6560. Let us know that you have not registered. And we will help you register for that as well. There is now a rent registry that's getting ready to be launched by the rent administrator's office, and we want to make sure that. The tenants are able to work in the environment, they can go in and access all kinds of information about properties across the city. And so we we provide training for that rent registry. But more importantly, we want to make sure that if you have not registered and you do live in a property that is rent control, that we make sure that you get registered so that you get the lower rent when it's time for a rent increase.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and this is why I have you here, Chief Shreve, because this is exactly the kind of information that I wanted our folks to know and hold on to. If you had to leave our listeners, uh Chief Shreve, with one key takeaway, one thing they should always keep in mind when renting in the District of Columbia, what would that be?

SPEAKER_11

If you don't know the rules, you can't play the game. That's what I want them to know. Which means that if you have not read the lease, I recommend strongly that you go on our website and look at lease provisions. If you need us to help you walk through the lease, call us and we will set up a lease consultation with you at no charge. Because people need to understand what their lease says. We've had many, many times that people have gotten all kinds of charges at the end of the day just because they didn't know what that lease said. So if you don't know your rules, you can't play the game.

SPEAKER_05

I love it. I love it. That right there, if you don't know the rules, you can't play the game. That right there is a gem. It's simple but yet uh powerful. And we know no one does this work alone. I know that you've started this organization, but you don't do it alone. Does OTA, your office, the office of the tenant advocate, partner with other agencies or organizations that specifically serve senior populations uh in the district?

SPEAKER_11

Absolutely. We work with the Department of Human Services, we work with the Department of Legal Aid, we work with the Department of AARP legal counsel for the elderly, we work with the Department of the Aging. Uh we work with all agencies. We work with HCMA when we have problems in the city, such as we did at Arthur Capper Senior back in September of 2018. We had a big there was a big fire there. There was 162 seniors displaced. And this office, meaning the OTA, we housed everybody in 24 hours, kept them in hotels for five months until they were able to be successfully relocated to other properties until their property had been refurbished so that they had the right to return. So, yes, we deal with all the agencies, we we triage with everyone to make sure that all of the services needed by the community are being addressed by the right, the right staffs.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, you know, in my time of doing the senior zone, uh Chief Shreve, which is approaching 14 years, I've found that collaboration, what you just described, is what really strengthens the safety net for our older adults. One agency or organization can't do it alone, and you're doing just that. Collaboration amongst many and as well as others. My final question for you, Chief Shreve, is let's make sure folks know how to take action. We're going to repeat some information again, but that's quite okay. If someone is listening today, needs help, uh, they have questions, or they just want to better understand their rights, how can they connect with the office of the tenant advocate?

SPEAKER_11

They can contact us by phone at 202-719-6560, or they can go on the internet to ask ota.dc.gov and point ask the director, and you can leave us an email and we will respond to that email within 24 hours of the next business day. Those are the two greatest ways to do it. If in fact you are at a property and there is already a house, a tenant association, we strongly recommend that you talk to your tenant association president, inform them that you have a problem, and if they can't solve it, they may be one of the ones that are already registered with the Office of the Tenant Advocate, where we have over 96 tenant associations, and that particular number is growing, and we will come out and work with that tenant association and provide training right on spot on your property for you. Yeah, folks, you can come to our office if you'd like. At 899 North Capitol Street, we are in six suite 6200.

SPEAKER_05

There you go, folks. Folks, don't wait until there's a problem. Reach out, get informed, and stay ahead. Chief Shreve, uh, any last comments before I have to let you go? My new friend.

SPEAKER_11

Yes, the last one. Make sure everybody is going to a training for rank voting. It's very, very important that everybody vote in June on June the 16th. And we want everybody to know how to use the rank voting properly. I attended training in my ward, ward four, and if I had questions, I know everybody else is going to have them too. So that's my last word. Please get ready for the vote that's coming. We need everybody's participation. It's really important.

SPEAKER_05

Chief Johanna Shreve, I want to thank you for the work you and your team are doing every single day to protect and empower residents across the District of Columbia, especially our seniors who deserve to feel safe, secure, and respected in their homes. And to our listeners, let me say this: knowledge is protection. The more you understand your rights, the more confidently you can stand in your space. If you are someone you love is renting in DC, don't navigate it alone. Reach out, ask questions, and use the resources that are there for you. We'll make sure to share contact information for the DC office of the tenant advocate so you can stay connected. All right, family, we're gonna take a quick break, but when we come back, we've got more insight, more conversation, and more ways to help you thrive after 50 right here on the senior zone. Chief Sheree, thank you, my friend.

SPEAKER_11

Thank you. Have a blessed day.

SPEAKER_05

Same to you. All right, folks. This next break is brought to you by compassionate choices, empowering everyone to try their own end of life journey. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_04

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SPEAKER_02

Hi, neighbor. I'm inviting you and your wife to my husband's 65th birthday party next week.

SPEAKER_01

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SPEAKER_02

Not yet. It's very confusing.

SPEAKER_01

Call Montgomery County Ship. They help me with questions about my Medicare coverage.

SPEAKER_02

What's Montgomery County Ship?

SPEAKER_01

It's ship like a boat. Montgomery County State Health Insurance Assistance Program. They help seniors like us, or people with disabilities, or caregivers and families with Medicare insurance questions.

SPEAKER_02

Can anyone call them?

SPEAKER_01

Sure. As long as you live in Montgomery County. You can call them at 301-255-4250. Or check out their website at www.medicareabcd.org.

SPEAKER_02

What's that number again?

SPEAKER_01

Montgomery County Ship. 301-255-4250. Made possible with a grant from the U.S. Administration for Community Living through the state of Maryland and Montgomery County.

SPEAKER_03

Your peace of mind.

Segment 2 – Healthcare Decisions

SPEAKER_05

Welcome back, family. This is the Senior Zone, and I am your host, Sean Perry. All right, family, let's lean in on this one because this isn't just information. This is preparation for peace. You know, a lot of us spend our lives planning, planning for retirement, planning for our children, planning for vacations. But when it comes to planning for our health care, especially those later stages of life, we tend to avoid the conversation. And yet the truth is having a plan in place can be one of the greatest gifts you give, not just to yourself, but to the people who love you. That's why this Thursday, April 16th, is National Healthcare Decisions Day. And it's all about making sure your voice is heard, even if you can't speak for yourself. So joining me this morning is someone who's doing powerful work in this space, Donna Smith, Diversity and Inclusion Advisory and State Director with Compassion and Choices. Donna, welcome to the senior zone.

SPEAKER_09

Thank you so much for having me, Sean. I'm so glad to be back with you.

SPEAKER_05

It is a pleasure to have you here. It's been too long since you were here last, Donna, but we're not going to go there. Let's just jump right into why you are here. For those hearing this for the first time, what exactly is National Health Care Decisions Day and why does it matter so much?

SPEAKER_09

Well, National Health Care Decisions Day is an opportunity to educate communities about advanced care planning and equip people to make their own wishes for their care. We need to make those wishes known to those who love us.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. So as I just mentioned, you know, April 16th, which is just a few days from here, from now, is the official date. But this conversation really applies year-round. Why do you think so many people avoid Donna or delay making healthcare decisions for the future?

SPEAKER_09

That is such a great question. I've done a some research, um, and the research I've done indicates that as a community, in the African American community, it's almost as if talking about death will kill you. We don't like to bring it up. I think some of us are so focused on surviving, especially at times like this. But we forget the importance of passing what we have on to the next generation. And so when we talk about advanced care planning, we want people to plan for their advanced care, known and unknown. And it starts with a basic conversation about what's important to you and what your needs are. And at Compassionate Choices, where I work, we have a lot of material that can help you discover exactly what you hold dear to you, and that will help inform you on your advanced care planning options. We'll also educate you about what those options are.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. So let's talk about this hesitation for a moment, Adonna, and really what's behind it. So you mentioned advanced care planning. Let's break that down for our listeners in plain terms. What exactly does that include, advanced care planning?

SPEAKER_09

So advanced care planning includes do you have documents like a living will which would help communicate to those you've put in charge of your care what your wishes are? For example, some may wish to have every um available medication um to help them extend their lives, every available process to help them extend their lives. And some don't want any medical intervention. So it it goes the range. It's whatever that person wants, but it has to be not only articulated to the right people, but has to be memorialized in a document. So the advanced planning documents, one is a living will. That is a will that will communicate to that person in charge of your health when you can't make your own decisions. You don't have the mental capacity to make your own decision.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And you know, I've had these conversations many times uh over the years, Donna. You don't, it doesn't have to be something elaborate or something expensive. We all, no matter what where you are on the socioeconomic ladder, we should all have a will at the very least uh in place, no matter how much you make. And we're speaking to uh some of that population uh here as well. But you also mentioned disparities across uh communities, particularly our community, the African-American community. Talk to us about why marginalized communities are just less likely to have advanced directives in place.

SPEAKER_09

Well, marginalized communities really need to plan a hand, plan ahead for their future care. Um, because they face additional barriers to having the end-of-life experience that they deserve and want. Factors that lead to these inequities, of course, is discrimination and racism, for one, biased uh health care systems and responses, and the lack of response to patients' culture, religion, and race, miscommunication and lack of translation services, insufficient access to health care and health literacy, and finally rigid systems that limit convenient care options.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. And so when people, just regular people, don't have plans in place, right? What are the real life consequences? Because I know you've seen them, I've seen them, but what are the real life consequences that families and individuals face?

SPEAKER_09

Well, the consequences is if you don't make decisions about your Indicare, someone else will. And we don't know if that someone will have your best interests at heart. So it's better for you to do that. Um for example, um, you need to decide who will speak for you in the case that you cannot speak for yourself. It's very important to choose the right person. If I may, I'll tell a personal story. I lost my father at 21. I just graduated from college and I was I was just in pain. And um my mother had to make all those decisions, and it was very hard for her. After experiencing that with her, I became in charge of her end of life care. And we had a discussion one day, and I looked at her because I had lost my father, I looked at her and said, Mom, I love you so much. As long as the hospital pays their electric bill, you will be somewhere plugged up, and I will be right there holding your hand. And my mother, who is everything in her church but the pastor, looked at me and said, You better not. Sean, I was shocked. I was like, Mom, you don't want to be with me as long as I want to be with you. And she said, Absolutely not. I'm a woman of God, and when God comes to get me, you better let me go. I'm so glad we had that discussion because I would have done exactly what I wanted to do. I was not thinking about her, I was thinking about what I wanted, and that's why you have to think through who will be the person that will speak for you at a time when you can't speak for yourself, and make sure you have communicated your wants and needs, not only verbally, but in a written form, which could be your living will, could be your regular will, but communicate to that person and others.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and and that's it in a in a nutshell. You have to communicate uh your wishes, uh, as you know, particularly, you know, uh in writing, um, but at the very least, have that communication with family. I would even suggest when you have family gatherings, whether it's the cookout, you know, Thanksgiving or whatever is special to you and your family, but have these conversations because what you just said right there, Donna, that helps folks understand it, I think, in a way that really relates to uh most of us. And because it is all about us sometimes. And we're not thinking about the impact and the wishes of our loved ones when times like that uh arise. So thank you, my friend, for sharing uh that story. I want to switch gears a little bit, uh, Donna, and talk about, you know, why many communities are less likely to use, you know, hospice or palliative care. Why is that from your experience with compassion and choices and what misconceptions might be contributing to this gap?

SPEAKER_09

Well, I mentioned some of the factors that lead to the inequities like discrimination and racism and the biased healthcare system, but I'd like to go even further. It's a cultural experience, especially with African Americans. Um there was such a thing at the turn of the century, at the end of um slavery where there was a term that was created called the night doctors. Sean, have you ever heard of the night doctors?

SPEAKER_05

I have not heard of the night doctors.

SPEAKER_09

The night doctors doing slavery. Well, you know, modern medicine really came into being around the time of slavery where doctors who were training other doctors would use the cadavers of slaves and sometimes soldiers to practice on. And as a result, there would be quote unquote night doctors that would come to the cabins of slaves and take away their sick and injured, and they would never return. And it is thought that these night doctors were those who were in teaching hospitals for physicians, and that's what the students were doing. They would take live sick people, their families would never see them again. And and so when I came across this term, I was shocked. And I asked my mother, who's in her 80s now, had she heard of this term? And she said, I did hear about it. I never knew what it was, but mama used to tell us if we didn't behave, the night doctors would come to get us. And so this is an example of something that really happened in our culture to turn us against uh some practices of the medical community that still lingers in our culture, and we may never know why. And I'm sure there are a lot of instances like that.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah, and and it's empowering to hear that story, right, and share that, which, you know, is part of our history, and many of us like myself hadn't heard night doctors, but I think it would empower folks to now, because it's uh healthcare decision day coming up on the 16th, to really, you know, get motivated, right, to help navigate their own pathway uh with respect to their health. So, with that being said, what can individuals do right now to take control of their future healthcare decisions? Today, April 13th.

SPEAKER_09

Today, on April 13th, you can first of all gather up all your health information and have it in one place. Because if something happens to you and the emergency folks show up, they need to know your medical history. So put all of that information that you have like on a magnet on your refrigerator so they know where to find it. Um convene your team uh who's gonna help you around in-the-life issues. It could be one person, it could be several. But articulate your wants and needs, put that on the paper in writing, in a will or a living will, share that with that person or that team so they're clear about your wants and desires. But it all starts out with you doing some education around your options around end of life. And they range from getting everything that is available that the hospital can provide to receiving nothing. That though and every choice in between, you have that right. At Compassionate Choices, we have something called my end-of-life decisions guide that we can send to people that helps them sort of map this out. And it's very helpful. And the time to do it is not when you're in an emergency situation, it's when you're calm and collected and there is no emergency situation right away.

SPEAKER_05

Yeah. Donna, we are nearly out of time, my friend. But for someone who is listening right now and saying, okay, Sean, okay, Donna, I hear you, but I don't know where to begin. What's the simplest starting point? I think I know the answer.

SPEAKER_09

I think the simplest starting point is identifying what your wants and needs are at the end of life. You can't articulate that to anyone or put it on paper until you figure out what your wants and needs are. And so I would suggest people go to our website, compassion and choices.org, and you can look for the uh end of life decisions guide, which you can pull down from there, which Will help you think through this.

SPEAKER_05

Gotcha. So you just stole the answer to my next question, but I'm gonna ask it anyway so you can give it out one more time. So, you know, compassion and choices, they are a partner of the Cenazone for many years, and you you know, your your your organization, you know, you've been leading the charge for so so long. But talk to us about uh where resources are available, including that free end of life planning guide you just mentioned and how they can access it.

SPEAKER_09

Well, you can go to our website and request it, compassionandchoices.org, and you can request the end of life decisions guide, and we have a number of other materials that will help you with your planning at the end of life.

SPEAKER_05

Gotcha, folks. That is compassion and and d and choices.org. Compassionand choices.org. And finally, Donna, my friend, if there is one message that you want to leave our listeners with, especially our 50 plus family, uh, what would that message be?

SPEAKER_09

That message would be make your own decisions before someone who does not know you and does not love you makes it for you.

SPEAKER_05

Real powerful, and that just brought it home because you know, you know, like you said, you can't wait until you're you know on your sick day, right? You can't wait until if you're unconscious, you can't do anything at all, and family, you know, they don't know you know what to do. So it's so so important that your wishes are on it. But you gotta put you put them in writing, folks. You gotta sit down and talk with your family uh and friends and whoever else is important to you so they are clear about what your health care decisions are. Donna Smith, thank you, my friend. Thank you. All right, powerful conversations right there, uh family. So, family, listen, this isn't about fear, this is about freedom. Freedom to have your wishes honored, freedom to ease the burden on your loved ones, freedom to say, This is how I want my life to be lived all the way through. Again, I want to thank Donna Smith from Compassion and Choices for joining us and bringing clarity, compassion, and truth to this important topic. Donna, one more time. Thank you, my friend.

SPEAKER_08

Thank you.

SPEAKER_05

All right. Now, if you've ever uh needed to take that first step, folks, again, you can download Compassion and Choices free end of life decisions guide at compassionandchoices.org. And remember, having the conversation today can make all the difference tomorrow. All right, family. This next break is brought to you by AARP DC, your wise friend and fierce defender in Washington, D.C. When we return, it's birthdays of the week, followed by Dear Grave Woman, featuring Joelle Simone, and then it's your later life lowdown. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_04

Today is your day to connect with AARP and DC. AARP is here in the District of Columbia working hard to make it an even better place to live, work, and play for people of all ages, and you can help. Put your skills and talents to good use as an AARP volunteer where you can help lead local events or become an advocate for the issues that matter in your community, like funding for programs that help district residents age with dignity and independence. AARP is also helping you get the most out of life. Check out their educational workshops where they can help you grow as a caregiver, find a job, and teach you about the latest technology, or enjoy a night out at any of their exciting local events, like their happy hours and free movie screenings. Today is your day to connect with your community and with AARP. So let's take on today and every day. Learn more at aarp.org slash DC.

SPEAKER_12

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday.

Birthdays of the Week

SPEAKER_05

We call this our birthday shout-outs of the week. If you hear your name or someone you love, just know you are being celebrated right here on the senior zone. So first up, we have Gail Cole 73. Today, April 13th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Gail Bernice Smith, 95. Today as well, Monday, April 13th from Annapolis, Maryland. Happy birthday, Bernice, Reverend Richard Lindsay is 82 today as well, April 13th from Columbia, Maryland. Happy birthday, Reverend Lindsay, Nora Super. Nora 62, Social Security eligible today as well, April 13th from Arlington, Virginia. Happy birthday, Nora Robert Thompson, 72 on Monday, April 13th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Robert Sheila Poole. I love this woman, a former Miss Senior D.C. Sheila Poole is 76 tomorrow. Tuesday, April 14th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Queen Sheila. Larry Stoner, 76. Tomorrow, April 14th from Oxenhill, Maryland. Happy birthday, Larry. Jacqueline Campbell, 63 on Wednesday. Tax Day, April 15th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Jacqueline. Irving Russell Smith III is the Big Six O, turned 60 years young on Thursday, April 16th from Fort Washington, Maryland. Happy birthday, Irvin. A few more. We have Brenda Donald, 71, on Thursday, April 16th from Washington, D.C. Brenda, happy birthday, and thank you for the body of work that you have done for D.C. seniors over your career. Next up, we have Mary Enigbo, 84 on Friday, April 17th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Mary Alvin Coles is 79 on Sunday, April 19th from New Carleton, Maryland. Happy birthday, Alvin. And last but not least, Geraldine Sims, 85 on Sunday, April 19th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Geraldine. And if you or your loved one has a birthday coming up, we'd love to celebrate you right here on the Senior Zone. Just send us your name, birth date, age, and the city and state that you are from. Send that email to infotheseniorzone.com. That's I N F O at the SeniorZone.com.

Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simon

SPEAKER_05

All right, family, let's keep it moving. It is now time for a segment that continues to touch hearts, open minds, and bring comfort in moments when we need it the most. It's your Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simone. Joelle, take it away, my friend.

SPEAKER_10

Hey Sean, and welcome back, everyone, to Dear Grave Woman, your segment here on the Senior Zone where I, Joel Simone, known all over as the Grave Woman, answer your questions about life, death, and planning for the end. Today I have an email that is entitled, Is It an Honor? And it reads, Dear Grave Woman, I will not be providing my name or any personal information. My email address is not even real. Okay? That's the first. However, I want to ask a serious question. I'm having a hard time in making funeral arrangements for my father. You see, he's a decorated veteran, and while everyone else sees him as a hero, I saw him as a monster. He was an alcoholic who beat my mother throughout my entire life, even up until his death. Is it an honor to bury someone that everyone else sees as a hero, but who I know is and died a monster? Wow. I was not expecting to receive this email, and I'm honestly a little bit taken aback by the emotion and the depth that I feel as I read. However, I am going to do my best to answer this as objectively and professionally as possible. Unfortunately, a lot of times this is the case. Maybe not necessarily the same exact case, but with my experience with working with people for the past 15 years, I have had some very difficult conversations with surviving loved ones about their experience with the loved ones that they are laying to rest. That goes totally against the public persona that the rest of the world have got to know. And in each of those situations, I have learned that number one, you as the individual making the arrangements, have to do what is best for you. And when I say that, that may mean honoring the wishes of your mother or fulfilling pre-need plans or you know, just doing what needs to be done in the moment to create a celebration of life or commemorate the life of your father while also honoring your truth. I truly believe that two things can be true at the same time. Someone could have dedicated their life and their service to their country and their neighbor, however, may not have been the best person at home. And it sounds like that is definitely the case in your situation. I also have learned to refer people to professionals who can help them process the complicated nature of their grief. And it sounds like you have some very complex and complicated grief going on right now. Disclaimer, I'm not a mental health professional. However, that is what I pick up from your message. So I would strongly encourage you to find a grief counselor that you feel safe with talking to about the extreme dynamics of the situation you're in. Thank you so much for being so vulnerable and for writing in. Sean, back to you for the later life

Later Life Lowdown

SPEAKER_10

lowdown.

SPEAKER_05

And just like that, always thoughtful, always timely. Joelle, we truly, truly appreciate you, my friend. All right, family, let's get into this week's Later Life Lowdown, where we keep you informed, connected, and empowered across D.C., Maryland, and Northern Virginia. Let's start with Washington, D.C. The DC Department of Aging and Community Living. They continue to offer free senior wellness programs, including fitness classes, caregiver support, as well as nutrition services, and much, much more. To find programs near you, call 202-724-5626. That's 202-724-5626. Also in DC, if you are facing housing concerns or need help understanding your rights as a tenant, the Office of the Tenant Advocate, what we spoke about earlier today, is there to support you. Give them a call at 202-719-6560. That's 202-719-6560. Now, over in Maryland, the Maryland Department of Aging is reminding residents about their senior call check program. It's a free daily check-in service that provides peace of mind for seniors as well as families to enroll. Call 866-502-0560. That's 866-502-0560. And don't forget, the Maryland Access Point is your one-stop resource for long-term services as well as support and much, much more. Give them a call at 844-627-5465. That's 844-627-5465. Now let's head over to Northern Virginia. In Fairfax County, the Virtual Center for Active Adults is offering a wide range of online classes from exercise to educational workshops and much, much more, all from the comfort of your home. To learn more about this program, call 703-324-7948. That's 703-324-7948. And in Arlington, Virginia, the Department of Human Services continues to provide support for older adults, including transportation and Asian in place resources, you can give them a call at 703-228-1700. That's 703-228-1700. Now, this next one, no matter where you are, DC, Maryland, Virginia, or anywhere in the country, if you need help navigating benefits like SNAP, Medicare, or utility assistance, and much, much more, including prescription drugs, don't forget about this website. It's called benefitscheckup.org. Benefitscheckup.org, powered by the National Council on Aging. It is a free, easy-to-use tool that will connect you to programs that you didn't even know you qualified

Show Outro

SPEAKER_05

for. And folks, that wraps up this week's Later Life Lowdown where the info is fresh, the love is always real, and the goal is always to enrich your journey. And one more thing, I gotta give a plug. The senior zone has always been more than just a moment or about more than just a moment. It's about building something that lasts. That's why we are now available as a podcast so these conversations they can live on, they can be revisited, and they can be shared. Just search the senior zone with Sean Perry wherever you listen to podcasts. Well, family, the pencil broke. That is all she wrote. That's our show for today. Thank you for spending this time with me, for trusting this space, and for continuing to show up for yourself and for each other. So until we meet again, keep your head high, keep your heart full, and always be someone who makes someone else look forward to their tomorrow. Love you. Peace.

SPEAKER_07

Be sure to join us on our next broadcast.

SPEAKER_00

Until then, live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly, and leave the rest to God.

SPEAKER_07

Have a wonderful week, and God willing, the senior zone will be here for another informative and entertaining hour next Monday morning at 10 a.m.