Ep. 705 | Power, Purpose & Aging Forward

What does it mean to age with purpose—not just gracefully, but powerfully?

This week on The Senior Zone, Shawn Perry leads a compelling conversation on leadership, legacy, and the importance of staying visible and valued after 50. Featuring Karyne Jones, President & CEO of NCBA, Inc., our first episode explores how advocacy, economic empowerment, and community voice shape the future of aging in America.

And then in segment two, we shift the lens just a bit…Because beyond programs and policies—there’s something deeper that we all need. We’re going to talk about what it really means to be still seen… and still needed—right where you are in life.

Plus, we wrap with Birthdays of the Week, Dear Grave Woman featuring Joelle Simon, and the Later Life Lowdown—bringing you the resources and inspiration you need to keep moving forward.

Thank you for listening and until we meet again…keep your head high, your heart full, and always — be someone who makes someone else look forward to their tomorrow.
 

Transcript

Opening Remarks + Weekly Vitamin

SPEAKER_06 0:01

Welcome to the Senior Zone.

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Where we connect older adults with the organizations and resources that serve them.

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The Senior Zone's goal, over to the local ethical part, aims to educate, empowered, enlightened, entertain, and engage older adults with the tools of information to stay healthy, happy, and secure.

SPEAKER_04 0:19

Great guests, up to upcoming events, and useful information.

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So get ready to take notes.

SPEAKER_04 0:27

It's now time for the senior zone.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Good morning, good morning, my good people, and welcome to the senior zone. I'm your host, Sean Perry, and you're locked into the DMV's number one weekly radio program, proudly serving our 50 plus community since 2012. Family, let me ask you something this morning. Have you ever looked at your life and wondered, what's next for me now? Not just retirement, not just slowing down, but what's my purpose in this season? Because here's the truth. We're living longer, but the real question is: are we living stronger, wiser, and more intentionally? And that's what we do here on the Senior Zone. We don't just talk about aging, we talk about aging forward. With that being said, here's your weekly vitamin, just a little something to carry you through the days ahead. You are not past your prime. You are in your power. Everything you've lived through has prepared you for this moment. So don't shrink in it, don't second guess it one bit. Don't sit on the sidelines. Step forward, y'all, because your voice, your wisdom, and your presence still matter. That's your weekly vitamin. Now, if you've ever missed a moment of this show, don't worry about it. We've got you covered. The Seam to Zone is a podcast which is available on demand anytime, anywhere on platforms like Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio, Amazon Music, and many, many others. Just search The Seam to Zone and take us with you wherever you go. Now, before we get into today's conversations, let me give you a quick look at what's coming up. In segment number one, we're stepping into a powerful conversation around legacy, leadership, and making sure our communities, especially underserved and aging populations, are not left behind. Because aging well isn't just about health, it's about access, opportunity, and voice. And joining me today is a dynamic leader doing this work every single day. Karen Jones, president and CEO of the National Caucus and Center on Black Aging, NCBA. Then in segment two, we shift the lens just a bit. Because beyond programs and policies, there's something deeper that we all need. To be seen, to be valued, to know we still matter. We're going to talk about what it really means to be seen and still needed right where you are in life. And as always, we're going to wrap things up the way we do each week with our birthdays of the week. We'll transition into Dear Grave Woman, featuring my friend Joel Simone, and then we'll close things out with your later life lowdown, bringing you the latest news, resources, and community updates across DC, Maryland, and Virginia. And before we take this quick break, I want to send some love and show some gratitude to our sponsors and partners. Thank you, Legal Counsel for the Elderly, AARP of the District of Columbia, AARP of the State of Maryland, Compassion and Choices, Jewish Council for the Aging, and the DC Department of Aging and Community Living. Folks, we'll be right back after this short break, brought to you by Legal Counsel for the Elderly, providing free legal and social work services to DC residents most in need. Don't change that dial. Sean Perry in the scene zone, I promise, we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_04 4:22

Legal Counsel for the Elderly champions the dignity and rights of DC elders by providing free legal and social work services to those in need. Worried about eviction or foreclosure? Need help obtaining social security or veterans' benefits? Call Legal Counsel for the Elderly at 202-434-2120. Income eligibility applies. LCE is an affiliate of AARP 202-434-2120.

SPEAKER_05 4:53

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SPEAKER_03 5:26

All

Segment 1: Karyne Jones

SPEAKER_03 5:27

right, family. Welcome back to the Senior Zone. I am your host, Sean Perry. Now listen, this next conversation is one that speaks directly to legacy leadership and lifting as we climb. Because when we talk about aging well, we're not just talking about health. We're talking about power, voice, and making sure our communities are seen, heard, and supported at every stage of life. And joining me today is a dynamic leader doing just that, Karen Jones, president and CEO of the National Caucus and Center on Black Aging, an organization committed to advancing economic empowerment and quality of life, particularly within underserved and aging communities. Karen, welcome back to the Senior Zone. It has been a long time, my friend.

SPEAKER_07 6:17

It has been, and I thank you so much for always remembering NCBA.

SPEAKER_03 6:22

You guys are a staple in the community. I applaud you for your decades of support to the senior population in the District of Columbia. But I want to start right here, Karen. Many of our listeners may not be familiar with NCBA. Break it down for us. What is NCBA and who do you serve?

SPEAKER_07 6:43

Well, first of all, we are a 56-year-old organization based here in Washington, D.C. We're a national organization because we have programs in uh 15 other states. Uh we got our start here in uh Washington, and we were founded by uh nursing home and aging uh professionals, uh mostly African American, who wanted to make sure that their voices uh were heard uh when we were developing the Older Americans Act. The Older Americans Act is where you find all of the senior programs, um, transportation, uh, health programs, uh mills on wheels, anything related that the federal government supports, that's under the Older Americans Act. And it was a concern of these African American aging professionals that the community, the black community, might be left out in some of those decisions. And so they formed this coalition, uh, got sure, made sure that we were included uh in any of the planning and uh the process, and the organization was born uh in 1970. Uh since then, we have uh moved ahead. We do senior um employment, training and employment programs, we do all kinds of health programs because that's so important to our community to get the information and to be empowered to be their own health advocates. So we provide those programs. Uh, we also own, manage, and help other nonprofits and churches develop senior affordable housing. We ourselves own eight properties, and we have uh we just completed our largest project here in Washington, D.C. It's located at 14th and Harvard Street. Uh, it's called the Carl West Senior Estates, and it's a new 175 unit where we've set aside, Sean, 36 of those apartments for grandfamilies, grandparents who are raising their grandchildren. Uh, that's a real issue in our community, uh, where uh grandparents who assume the responsibility uh and guardianship of their grandchildren uh or other kinship uh families, and uh they need housing. And so we have provided that, and moving forward, we're asking all of our development partners to do these set asides. So that's what we uh we initially uh we're uh founded. Our mission is to improve the quality of life for all older adults, but specifically low-income and African American communities, uh, so that our people can be empowered with the best information, uh, resources, and an opportunity to make a difference uh within their families.

SPEAKER_03 9:48

Well, Karen, that foundation is certainly uh important. I didn't realize 56 years of NCBA. You may have stolen apart a piece of my next question because I want to talk about impact, and you already shared some of the impacts that you're having. But when you look at today's older adult population, uh Karen, especially again within the African American communities, what are some of the biggest challenges that they're facing right now, that we're facing right now?

SPEAKER_07 10:16

Well, I can tell you that we've got a much more sophisticated older adult now than maybe we had 56 years ago. Uh, meaning that uh most of our older adults uh have uh kind of moved with the age of uh uh technology. Uh, you know, I most seniors now have a uh smartphone uh through their emails and and work on that. So that helps tremendously in terms of impacting uh and getting you know information out to them. But then on the flip side of that, we are seeing so many challenges uh again to support of resources. And I always say, Sean, that there are a lot of people who say, Well, we've never heard of you. And I my response has always been, well, if you've never heard of us, you've never needed us. We specifically work to um help low-income uh communities. Um uh and so if you already a person older who is has uh you know have their own health insurance, uh private health insurance, or you already own a home or whatever those cases may be, we try to assist those people who still have uh have worked all their lives, taken care of their families, uh, contributed to their communities, but for whatever reason have not had the opportunities uh to, once they've gotten older, to be able to age and the dignity that they deserve. Uh, we're there to help to try to provide them with those resources and information so again they can be advocates for themselves. Uh a lot of the reasons that our people uh don't uh partake in uh activities or the resources that are available to them, they don't know. And the uh monies are set aside specifically to help older adults with housing, with health, uh, with employment, with all kinds of activities, and our folks just don't know. So that's the most impact that we have had. We have had over our many years of doing training and employment, we've probably helped over 50,000 people who, you know, they not they not want full-time work, but they want to have enough work where they can still contribute, but that they can still make a little money to just pay that extra for their rent or to buy food or medicine. And, you know, and so they're not looking for careers, but they are looking for an opportunity to again just age and dignity without the struggle that comes along sometimes when you've not had opportunities uh to invest in 401ks or have a pension or uh what you know, all the things that you people are just assume you get as you get older. That's just not the case. So that's what we're gonna do.

SPEAKER_03 13:12

Yeah, so let's pivot, and I appreciate that, Karen. Let's pivot from you know challenges to talking about solutions, right? I know that you have many programs and initiatives that you are leading, but can we talk about some of those programs and initiatives that are directly helping our older adults just not survive, but truly thrive.

SPEAKER_07 13:33

And again, that's we're not looking for people to just survive. We really are looking at the whole person. Uh we want to make sure that again, information is powerful. Uh, when you don't have it, you have no power. And so our training and employment program, which has been uh uh uh sponsored by the Department of Labor, the U.S. Department of Labor for many, many years, has provided money for community service employment. It's uh uh uh it gives uh uh older adults the opportunity to again use their skills or their information. If they don't have them, we train them uh to be able to move into the workforce. Uh if you're looking for part-time employment, then we try to help you in finding a host agency who will do that. If not, if you're looking for full-time employment, we try to help you in that way. So that helps uh change the trajectory of someone's life. Uh and there are many, you know, older adults who are still very vibrant, who still can uh provide so much to our communities, uh, you know, can work in our schools, can help with our other older adults who can work in other different capacities, who still have a lot to give. But because if you're in the workforce uh along with a 25-year-old or what have you, it makes it very difficult to kind of compete in that way. So we try to help in navigating that process. So our training and employment program is very important. I will say it's under attack right now. Uh, it's a program that has been very, very successful for many, many, many years, and we rely very heavily on the Department of Labor to fund a lot of what we do. Uh, but this uh new administration is not supportive of it. And so we don't know if it's going to continue after this year. We are certainly working, and part of my job as uh CEO of NCBA is to try to educate our uh members of Congress uh on the importance of this program. It is the only national program within all of the federal government that focuses on older adult employment. And being the only one, it's crucial that we maintain it. So we're working very hard again to educate our congressmen just like we educate our community on the importance and the impact that these programs have. We have several different health programs, Sean, that we do. We touch on everything. Our people, unfortunately, get everything. You know, uh glucose, uh, cancer, heart disease, uh you name it.

SPEAKER_03 16:22

Yeah, we've talked about it here on the Cenazone over the years uh as as well, Karen. And it seems like on many of the the uh ailments that they track and measure that African Americans, we always fall near the bottom or at the bottom, you know, worst case scenarios all the time, it seems. Uh, but and we can we can circle back to that in another discussion. I want to keep it moving right now, Karen, because many folks, again, haven't heard of NCBA and all the wonderful work that you are doing. Uh usually uh you know we'll provide contact information towards the end, but how can our listeners reach out to support NCBA? Is there a website? Is there a telephone number? Share that now and we'll share it at the end if you do have it.

SPEAKER_07 17:05

Absolutely. They can go to n CBA Inc.org. Or even if you put in National Caucus and Center on Black Agent, it still comes up as that. We officially changed our name to NCBA uh Inc. about uh three or four years ago because people knew us more by our name brand than that long name that the board had established some years ago. So, but if you just put in uh NCBA, now the National Cattlemen's Association might come up, but you just go on down, you'll get down to where it talks about older adults, and you can go to our website and learn about all of our programs and how to contact us.

SPEAKER_03 17:45

Gotcha, folks. NCBAin C dot or G. N C B A Inc.org. Uh while I have you, how can our seniors, our listeners, as well as their families, tap into the resources that your organization provides, whether it's programs, partnerships, volunteering, or community support?

SPEAKER_07 18:08

We welcome volunteers. Uh we are we have so many different programs. As a matter of fact, we have a health fair, major health fair coming up May 14th, uh, that uh is going to be here at the Carl West Senior Building, which is located at uh 1307 Harvard Street Northwest. Uh that's in Columbia Heights. And if you really want to get a taste of what we do, that would be a perfect opportunity for people to come not only get resources and get a lot of health advice and information, uh, but it also see our building, our brand new building that we just completed this year, uh, and then learn a lot because all of our staff will be available to talk to them. So, but if you really want to do something right now, just go to our website and you'll see all the different uh uh things that we do to include our senior housing, our affordable housing projects.

SPEAKER_03 19:02

Yeah. Uh Karen, real quick, because we are running out of time. Uh what drives you, you the passion for your work? You've been at this for quite a quite a few number of years as I've learned. What keeps you pushing forward in this space every single day?

SPEAKER_07 19:16

Well, you know, you always go back to the community you were raised in, and I had very, very involved parents. And I know you've heard it before, but to whom all is given, much is deserved. And uh I have always enjoyed more and get more out of helping people than you know, helping myself because I've had a very blessed life. Uh and so it's it's I as I said, we have we run into our challenges, but the most important thing to me is uh I get up every morning and I know that I'm gonna help somebody find a place to live, I'm gonna help somebody to improve their health, and I'm gonna have somebody uh get find a job. And if we can do those three things, that in itself contributes to someone aging in dignity and and making determin determination on what makes them happy and moving forward. So that's what keeps me uh motivated and moving forward.

SPEAKER_03 20:15

Karen, it's just came to me, but if there's a Mount Rushmore for those that are contributing to uh others, the the least of us, right, uh within this older adult community, uh Karen Jones will be on that Mount Rushmore up there for what you have done. Uh the body of your work over the last couple of decades, uh at least, uh, you know, deserves to be recognized in such a way just like uh that. With the time that we do have, my friend, for our listeners who are in their 50s, right? Those young seniors, right? Those that are in their 60s and 70s, what's one mindset shift you believe they need to embrace to continue living with purpose?

SPEAKER_07 20:56

Well, the first thing they need to do is make sure they concentrate on their health. Um you're not healthy, you you can't work a job, and you can't really do anything of importance. So all of the preventive measures you can take, you know, it's true, it's really right. Eating correctly, exercising, all that stuff is not people just saying that it really makes a difference in your longevity. Uh being again the advocate, knowing what to ask your doctor, knowing the questions. If you have a pain, not saying to them, uh letting a doctor say you, well, that's just a part of old age. No, it is a part of old age, maybe, but there's a diagnosis that goes with why am I having that pain. They need to tell you it's arthritis, it's birth, you know, or something. Don't let people get away with just saying, uh, you're getting an older, so that happens. No way. And if you have more information about that, you can do it. But if you're in your 50s, that's really the prime of your life. And so there's still some things that you can do uh over the next 20 years to make sure again that you. Age and dignity. I know again you run up into challenges, but it's it's it's never too late to make a difference in your own life because when you make that difference in your life, you also improve the life and set a role model for the people you love in your family. So I always say, 50, you know, don't don't fall for the black balloons and the over the hill and all of that. 50s is really the beginning of a whole new generation. Usually your children are grown. Uh, it's all about you. It's time to be selfish. Yes. Go ahead and be selfish, take care of you, and find your happiness. And uh, I say, yeah, forget the black balloons and the over-the-hill stuff.

SPEAKER_03 22:42

Karen now at 62, soon to be 63, here. I am probably at the most selfish stage of my life right now, right? I tell my wife and everybody, my joy and my peace of mind, it comes, it's at the top of my list. Absolutely. And that's it. Not that I put aside those that I care and love, but yeah, I get exactly what you said, my friend. You know, and it was powerful what you uh shared uh right there as well. But I want to look ahead with the time that we have left. What's next for NCBA? What should our listeners be on the lookout for in the months and years ahead?

SPEAKER_07 23:19

Well, we're doing just like everybody else, trying to prepare for AI. Um, you know, I know people hear about it, but it's going to be impactful on a lot of different things. I mean, and Justin, we we are heavily dependent on receiving resources from not only the federal government, but from some of our donors and foundations and corporations that support our work. And uh, you know, they're they're shifting in how they're looking at things, so we've got to determine how we shift. Uh, but for the most part, we pretty much are staying the same. We've not changed our mission. Our mission is to improve the quality of life for older adults, particularly those of color. And we will continue to address it as need be. Again, health, housing, employment, and just general overwhelm, uh overwhelming awareness and education will remain uh a major focus for NCBA. Um, I may not be here, I've been here 23 years, uh, and so I'm probably not gonna see it until the next maybe decade. Well, maybe so. It's what no, let me take that back. But I certainly want to make sure that we have a we have a foundation here that was set by people who had a uh a future. They knew that this was something that had to be established for our community, and I just wanted to be a part of making sure that we maintain that and move forward. Uh so I'm very excited about the potential of the future and the challenges are just something we will partake as we have over the last 56 years.

SPEAKER_03 24:57

Well, I hope to be along for the ride as well uh with NCBA uh Karen. Last question 30 seconds, my friend. If there's one message you want every listener to walk away with today about anything, aging, empowerment, community, what would that message be?

SPEAKER_07 25:13

Always do research. Don't just go by one source. Make sure that even if it's someone you trust, just verify it. This is we're living in a time where we get so much much uh misinformation, and I want to make sure again that people uh really do their own research to find out, you know, what's important to them and get both sides. Um, I just don't want people to be misinformed. We went through that with COVID, and we had a really hard time getting people to understand why they needed to take the vaccine. It wasn't until they realized people weren't dying as much as they were before uh that they realized, oh no, I need to take this. And so we want people to be educated. So be an advocate for your own health and for your own information and don't just go by one resource.

SPEAKER_03 26:00

Well said, uh my friend. Just another powerful uh conversation. Folks, big thanks to Karen Jones, president and CEO of NCBA Incorporated, for not only the work she's doing, but for reminding us that aging is not about slowing down. It's about stepping fully into your power, your purpose, and your legacy. Now, if you want to learn more about NCBA and tap into their resources, we encourage you to stay connected and get involved because the more informed you are, the more empowered you become. And their website is ncbainc.org. NCBAink.org. Karen Jones, my friend, thank you.

SPEAKER_07 26:46

Thank you for having us.

SPEAKER_03 26:47

And then let's not make it 13 more years before you come back to the senior zone.

SPEAKER_07 26:51

Anytime you call.

SPEAKER_03 26:52

All right, my friend. Folks, as always, we're gonna keep this thing moving right along here on the senior zone. This next break is brought to you by Compassion and Choices, empowering everyone to chart their own end of life journey. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_08 27:06

And life choices matter. Compassion and Choices is here to support you on your journey. Our organization provides a wealth of resources to help you navigate difficult decisions with compassion and understanding. Need guidance on end-of-life choices? Visit our website at compassionatechoices.org for a range of informative articles, toolkits, and personal stories. Our compassionate team is just a call away, ready to assist you. Because, let's face it, talking about death is not gonna kill you. Compassionate choices, empowering you to make choices that reflect your values.

SPEAKER_02 27:40

Hi, neighbor. I'm inviting you and your wife to my husband's 65th birthday party next week.

SPEAKER_01 27:46

Great! Has he applied for Medicare yet?

SPEAKER_02 27:49

Not yet. It's very confusing.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Call Montgomery County Ship. They help me with questions about my Medicare coverage.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

What's Montgomery County Ship?

SPEAKER_01 27:59

It's Ship, like a boat. Montgomery County State Health Insurance Assistance Program. They help seniors like us, or people with disabilities, or caregivers and families with Medicare insurance questions.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Can anyone call them?

SPEAKER_01 28:13

Sure, as long as you live in Montgomery County. You can call them at 301-255-4250. Or check out their website at www.medicareabcd.org.

SPEAKER_02 28:26

What's that number again?

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Montgomery County Ship. 301-255-4250. Made possible with a grant from the U.S. Administration for Community Living through the state of Maryland and Montgomery County.

SPEAKER_10 28:40

When you hear the chirp, it's time to do some work. Change the battery. Working smoke alarms save lives, including yours. For more information on smoke alarms and other fire prevention and safety tips, contact the DC Fire and EMS Department Fire Prevention Division at 202-727-1614. Or email us at FEMS.fireprevention at DC.gov.

Segment 2: Still Seen. Still Needed.

SPEAKER_03 29:10

All right, family, welcome back. This is the Senior Zone, and I'm your host, Sean Perry. Can I sit with you for a minute or maybe two? Not as a host, not as the voice of the senior zone, not as the guy bringing you information every Monday morning, just pure and simple, Sean. Because if I'm being honest with you today, I'm tired. Not physically tired, but deep in my soul kind of tired. And I went back and forth all week about whether I even wanted to have this sort of conversation because most of my life I've learned how to function, but not necessarily how to feel. And I have a feeling that I'm not alone in that. So let me ask you something. Have you ever been in a room full of people and still felt completely and entirely alone? Not physically alone. I'm talking emotionally alone. Like nobody really sees what you're carrying. Yeah, that's a feeling I have known for a very, very long time, as far as I can remember. Truth be told, I think I've spent most of my life walking on eggshells, always looking over my shoulder, always second-guessing myself, always wondering what people think, always trying not to mess up, and always trying not to be quote unquote too much or quote unquote not enough. And let me slow this down for a second. When I say walking on eggshells, I don't mean being careful. I mean living life like one wrong move, one wrong word, one wrong decision might cost you something. Might cost you a relationship, might cost you respect, might cost you how people see you. So you learn to shrink. Anyone ever done that? Made yourself smaller just to feel safe? And the crazy part with all of that, fear became so normal to me, y'all, that I didn't even recognize how much it was shaping my life. Even as a young kid growing up in New York City, you know, where life is fast, life is hard, you learn early to stay alert, to read people, and to protect yourself. But one thing I didn't have was somebody pouring confidence into me. I had no father figure, no man pulling me aside saying, You're gonna be all right. You, Sean, belong in the room. Sean, stop shrinking yourself. So instead, I learned how to doubt myself before life even had a chance to. And that thing, that quiet insecurity, it has followed me. It has followed me into relationships, into decisions, uh, into opportunities that I never took, into moments where I stayed quiet when I should have spoken up. Anybody ever felt like that before? Huh? Like you're living your life, but always just a step behind your own confidence. Yeah, that's been me, Sean Perry. Now, don't get it twisted. I've done some things in my life that I am certainly proud of. I've served in the United States Air Force for nearly 22 years. I started out enlisted and I worked my way to becoming an officer. I earned my bachelor's degree from the University of Maryland, GOTERPS. And on paper, that sounds solid. But let me ask you this: have you ever achieved something and still felt like you weren't enough? Still felt unsure? Still felt like you were just trying to keep up appearances? Because that's been my reality, and it's exhausting. Even while accomplishing things, I never felt spectacular. And the military, let me tell you, the military gave me confidence, gave me discipline, gave me structure, gave me responsibility, but it also taught me something else. How to shut up about pain, how to push through weakness or weaknesses, how to perform strength even when you don't feel it. Because if you wanted to excel in the military, you didn't talk about what hurt. And here's the part I didn't understand back then. Just because you can carry something doesn't mean you're supposed to carry it forever. But when somebody, I'm sorry, when nobody teaches you how to release it, you just keep stacking it up year after year, relationship after relationship, disappointment after disappointment, and one day you wake up and you don't even recognize the weight anymore because it feels it just feels like you. So I got real good at it, y'all. Real good at showing up strong while quietly struggling underneath. It became my identity, the strong one, the dependable one, the one everybody leans into. But let me ask you something else, if I may. What happens when the strong one gets tired? What happens when the encourager needs encouragement? What happens when the person checking on everybody else is secretly hoping that somebody checks in on them? On me. And I want to say something else here, and I need you to hear me clearly. This isn't something I conquered years ago, y'all. This is something I still wrestle with now. Even now, as I talk to you, there are moments, even recently, where depression feels real. Not just I'm having a bad day. I'm talking about that heaviness, that weight, insurmountable kind of weight, the weight you carry in your chest, that silence that gets loud at night, the those thoughts that creep in when everything else slows down. Let me ask you something else. When does it hit you the most? For me, it's in the quiet moments, after everything slows down, after the phone stops ringing, after the responsibilities are handled, that's when thoughts start talking. Anyone know what I'm talking about? When there's no noise left and it's just you and your mind, and if I can be honest, there have been times where suicidal thoughts entered my mind. I'm talking real thoughts. I'm being vulnerable here, not for attention, not for sympathy, just exhaustion, emotional exhaustion. And I know that I'm not the only one, especially in our community, especially with men, especially with our older adults, especially folks who spend a lifetime being the one who holds it all together. Because sometimes you can be surrounded by people and still feel completely alone. And that's a hard thing to explain. I mean, I've got friends, I've got listeners, I've got people who care. But loneliness doesn't always come from being by yourself. Sometimes it comes from feeling, feeling unseen, feeling misunderstood, feeling like how can I say this? Uh, like no one knows how hard you're fighting internally. You just keep showing up externally, feeling like that. And for me, one of the deepest parts of that has been abandonment, not always loud abandonment, sometimes quiet abandonment. I learned this early in life. The distance, the silence, shifts in relationships, feeling like the people that you poured into don't always pour back into you. Anyone ever felt like that before? And maybe that's why this show, the senior zone, my baby, my passion, my purpose means so much to me. Because if I'm being real, this has been therapeutic for me. It has been my therapy. Helping you has helped me. Encouraging you has kept me going. Showing up every Monday morning at 10 a.m. has given me purpose on days when I didn't feel like I had much to give. And maybe that's the truth for some of you too. Sometimes we survive by being there for others. But let me say this as gently as I know how. We can't only survive. We deserve to heal too. Those that know me know my daughter, man. She is my heartbeat. I mean, my heartbeat. The one place in my life where I can say I poured my absolute best. Don't know how to do it any better. And if I can be real for a moment, loving deeply, man, it comes with a cost. Because when you pour your best into someone, you don't just give love, you give access. You give access to your heart, you give access to your emotions, you give access to your expectations, and sometimes even unintentionally, the people we love the most don't realize how much power they have to hurt us. And that doesn't make them bad. It just makes us human and responsibility, you know, being a father, being a husband, being a man who still has work to do. That's what keeps me going, even on my hardest of hard days. And if I can say one thing that I've learned, and I'm still learning and growing and evolving just like you, fear will steal your life if you let it in. Not all at once, but fear will take it little by little. Fear will take opportunities away. You know, words that you don't say, confidence you don't step into because of fear. And before you know it, you have built a life while still feeling like you're standing on the outside of it all. But let me sit with you right here for a second. You can be successful and still struggling, you can be respected and still insecure, you can be loved and still feel lonely. You can even be strong and still feel tired, as I mentioned at the top of this discussion. And let me say something that might surprise you. There are moments where I've looked at my own life and still felt like a failure. Yeah, like a failure. Not because of what I've done, but because of how I felt inside while doing it. Anybody ever felt that disconnect? Does it make sense in many respects? Where your life looks one way on the outside, but feels completely different on the inside. So maybe today and why I'm doing this, this isn't about fixing anything. Maybe it's just about telling the truth, sharing my story, sharing my truth, being vulnerable with you, just sitting in it, not running from it, not trying to sugarcoat it and dress it up, not pretending, just being honest. And if you're listening right now, and if you're carrying something heavy, y'all, I want you to hear this clearly. You, you're not alone, you're not the only one, not even close. And you don't have to have it all figured out today, even in your 50s, 60s, 70s, etc. Just stay in the fight. Stay in your life, stay in your purpose, even if it doesn't feel clear right now. Trust me, I know I've been there and I'll probably go back there. Even if it doesn't feel good right now, or even if it doesn't make sense right now, stay. Stay. Stay. I'm still here. And if you're listening, so are you. And if you ever have thoughts that get too heavy, please don't carry that alone. You can call or text 988 to talk to somebody. Reach out. Because your life has value far beyond what your pain is telling you right now. Did you get that? Your life has value far beyond your pain or what your pain is telling you right now. Alright, family. I appreciate you letting me be human today, not polished, not sugarcoating anything, not trying to be perfect, not trying to be someone that I'm not, just real talk. And maybe we didn't fix everything today. Maybe we didn't fix anything today. But maybe we reminded each other that we're not alone. We'll take a quick break, and when we come back, we'll keep walking this thing out together right here on the senior zone. This next break is brought to you by our friends at AARP DC, your wise friend and fierce defender in Washington, D.C. When we come back, it's Birthdays of the Week, followed by Dear Grave Woman, featuring Joelle Simone. And lastly, it's your later life lowdown, news, events, and resources that you can use in your everyday life. We'll be right back.

SPEAKER_08 45:26

Today is your day to connect with AARP in DC. AARP is here in the District of Columbia working hard to make it an even better place to live, work, and play for people of all ages. And you can help. Put your skills and talents to good use as an AARP volunteer, where you can help lead local events or become an advocate for the issues that matter in your community, like funding for programs that help district residents age with dignity and independence. AARP is also helping you get the most out of life. Check out their educational workshops where they can help you grow as a caregiver, find a job, and teach you about the latest technology. Or enjoy a night out at any of their exciting local events, like their happy hours and free movie screenings. Today is your day to connect with your community and with AARP. So let's take on today and every day. Learn more at AARP.org slash DC.

SPEAKER_09 46:24

Happy birthday.

Birthdays + Dear Grave Woman + Later Life Lowdown

SPEAKER_03 47:06

So birthdays of the week, here we go. John Lattimore 79 today, Monday, May 11th from District Heights, Maryland. Happy birthday, John Low Wood, 61. Today as well, May 11th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Lowe. Antoinette Lagoon. She's the former Miss Senior DC of 2022. She is turning 65 tomorrow. Tuesday, May 12th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Queen Lagoon. Marcia Hubbard, a supporter and friend of the Senior Zone, turned 64 on Tuesday, May 12th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Marcia. Nadine Roberts Cornish, 65. Medicare eligible, red, white, and blue card in hand. Tomorrow, May 12th from Denver, Colorado. Happy birthday, Nadine. Gloria Miller, 81. God bless you. Wednesday, May 13th from Bowie, Maryland. Happy birthday, Gloria. Jeff Kindler or Kindler is 71 on Wednesday, May 13th from Westport, Connecticut. Happy birthday, Jeff. Pat Forget is 78 on Wednesday, May 13th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Pat Robin Gantt. Robin, I can't believe you're 72, my friend. Love you. 72 on Thursday, May 14th from Washington, D.C. Happy, happy birthday, Robin. KC Baker, 65. Medicare eligible as well on Thursday, May 14th from Waldorf, Maryland. Happy birthday, KC. A few more here. We have Arnita Brown turning 59 on Friday, May 15th from Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. Happy birthday, Arnita Noble Davis, 72 on Saturday, May 16th from Washington, D.C. Happy birthday, Noble. And last but not least, Avis Bonita Gardner, 65, another Medicare eligible. She turned 65 on Saturday, May 16th from Richmond, Virginia. Happy birthday, Avis. And from all of us here at the CinderZone, we're wishing each and every one of you a joyful, blessed, and love filled birthday week. And if you'd like to hear your name or a loved one's name right here on the air, simply send us an email. Send that email to info at the scenerzone.com. That's INFO at the scene to zone.com. Be sure to include the full name, birth date, the age they are turning, as well as city and state, and we'll do our best to give them a shout out. All right, folks, coming up next, it's time for Dear Grave Woman with Joelle Simone. You already know this is where compassion meets clarity, and real life questions get real life answers. Joelle, take it away, my friend.

SPEAKER_00 49:57

Thank you so much, Sean, and welcome back, everyone, to Dear Grave Woman. I am your host, Joelle Simone. I am known all over the world as the Grave Woman. And this is your three-minute segment here on the Senior Zone where we talk about life, death, the thing for the end, and everything in between. Today I want to get a little bit personal and share um a situation that happened recently in my family. And I'm entitling this When Things Don't Go as Planned. Within the past two weeks, I lost my beloved covet cousin Jamal. Jamal was an amazing human being whose presence did not require much words or talking. However, you just felt his energy when he walked into a space. And I'll always remember my most fond memories of Jamal involved music. He introduced me to everything from porn to SWV to a tribe conquest to other rock bands. And I entitled this When Things Don't Go as Planned because no one was planning for Jamal to die. In fact, when I got the call that he passed away, I thought that they were calling me to tell me that my great aunt, his mother, passed away. And while I was going through the process of helping my family navigate this loss, it really got my will spinning about my work here on the senior zone. The situation for our family, and I don't think they'll mind me sharing, is that my great aunt has dementia. And while her pre-plans were made, her cemetery space had been purchased years ago. I had the honor of selling that to her. Um and her funeral arrangements pre-planned and pre-made years ago. No one expected for Jamal to die. And so it got me to thinking about those of you who are listening who have adult children and why it's so important that we have conversations with all of our family members about end-of-life planning, about life insurance, about health issues or things that we may not know about one another. Like I said, I've said several times here today, no one was expecting for Jamal to die. And being that his mother, a woman with dementia, if he were not married, would have been responsible for making arrangements, coming up with finances, and doing other things. I just wanted to reinforce how important it is that we all have conversations about end of life, about memorialization, about funeralization, and pre-planning what our desires are financially, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, in all capacities. So thank you so much for allowing me to share here personally today. Please take the time to have conversations with your families as you're making your own rearrangements. And that's the hard questions. I've suggested here several times that as we gather for holidays, such as Memorial Day and Fourth of July, Mother's Day and Father's Day, that we pull out our family photo albums and begin to have conversations with our loved ones. And I can guarantee you that eventually the conversation will shift to those that are no longer here. And that is the perfect threshold and opportunity to have these end-of-life conversations, start writing things down and taking things to the next level in pre-planning. Sean, back to you for the later life lowdown.

SPEAKER_03 52:59

All right, Joelle, we thank you for always bringing wisdom, perspective, and heart to the conversation. Now, let's shift gears and get you plugged in, folks, to what's happening across our community. It's now time for your later life lowdown, where we keep you informed, empowered, and connected across D.C., Maryland, and Virginia. So we're going to start right here in Washington, D.C. The D.C. Department of Aging and Community Living continues to offer support through their Safe at Home program, helping older adults prevent falls with home safety modifications like grab bars and improved lighting. To learn more or to apply, call 202-724-5626. That's 202-724-5626. Also in Washington, D.C., if you or someone you know needs help navigating benefits like SNAP, Medicaid, or utility assistance, you can visit benefitscheckup.org. That's benefitscheckup.org. It's a free and confidential tool from the National Council on Aging that helps you find programs that you may qualify for. Over in Maryland, the Maryland Department of Aging reminds residents about their senior call check program. It's a free daily check-in service that provides peace of mind for older adults living alone. To enroll, call 866-502-4325. That's 866-502-4325. And don't forget, the Maryland Access Point continues to serve as your one-stop resource for long-term care services as well as caregiver support and much, much more. You can reach them at 844-627-5465. One more time, that's 844-627-5465. And in Northern Virginia, the Fairfax Area Agency on Aging is offering caregiver support services, including respite care and education programs. For more information, call them at 703-324-7948-703-324-7948. And across the region, if you suspect elder abuse, neglect, or exploitation, please don't stay silent. Report it. In Virginia, you can contact the Adult Protective Services at 888-832-3858. That's 888-832-3858. And that wraps up this week's Later Life Lowdown, where the info is fresh, the love is real, and the goal is always to enrich

Outro

SPEAKER_03 55:51

your journey. And one more thing, the senior zone has always been about more than a moment. It's about building something that lasts. That's why we are now available as a podcast so these conversations they can live on, they can be revisited, and they can be shared. Just search the Senior Zone with Sean Perry wherever you listen to podcasts. All right, family, that's our time today. So until we meet again, keep your head high, keep your heart full, and always be someone who makes someone else look forward to their tomorrow. Love you. Peace.

SPEAKER_06 56:27

Be sure to join us on our next broadcast. Until then, live simply, love generously.

SPEAKER_04 56:34

Speak kindly.

SPEAKER_06 56:35

Leave the rest to God. Have a wonderful week, and God willing, the Senior Zone will be here for another informative and entertaining hour next Monday morning at 10 a.m.